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The Art of Being A Dad: Transforming from Father to Active Parent

The Art of Being A Dad: Transforming from Father to Active Parent

Released Friday, 9th June 2023
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The Art of Being A Dad: Transforming from Father to Active Parent

The Art of Being A Dad: Transforming from Father to Active Parent

The Art of Being A Dad: Transforming from Father to Active Parent

The Art of Being A Dad: Transforming from Father to Active Parent

Friday, 9th June 2023
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Episode Transcript

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0:06

Hey ladies , thank you for joining

0:09

the Single Moms United podcast

0:11

. If this is your first time listening

0:13

, welcome If you're a

0:15

repeat listener . Thank you for

0:17

your loyalty . This

0:19

podcast has been developed to motivate

0:22

and encourage the single mom

0:24

. It's

0:26

not how you arrived at the title , but

0:29

what you do with it is designed

0:31

to get you thinking about your approach

0:34

to single motherhood , possibly

0:36

giving you an aha moment

0:39

. Now , today is a special

0:41

episode for Father's Day

0:43

. In my opinion

0:46

, we really should call it Dad's

0:48

Day because it's showing appreciation

0:51

to the dads

0:53

that step up to the plate , just like you

0:55

, single mom . So

0:57

I say that because , again

1:00

, anyone can be a father , meaning

1:03

a male right , but it takes

1:05

a lot to be a dad . I

1:08

want to take . I want to talk about the title

1:10

differences related to father

1:13

versus dad . A

1:15

father is a key contributor to bringing

1:17

about life , meaning

1:19

he is the other half of why

1:22

the child is in existence . Generally

1:25

, that is the extent of

1:27

how he acquired the title

1:29

of father . He was

1:32

there for the moment that brought about

1:34

conception . Just

1:36

because he is a father doesn't mean he

1:38

is a dad . A father must be

1:41

taken to child support court

1:43

. A father won't know their

1:45

child's birthday or

1:47

middle name in some

1:49

instances . In other

1:52

words , there is a distinct

1:54

difference between father

1:56

and dad . Fathers

1:58

aren't generally active in their kids' lives

2:01

, unfortunately . Now

2:03

, to be fair and not solely beat

2:05

up on fathers , it goes

2:07

the same with mothers . Just

2:09

because you have the title mother doesn't

2:11

mean you make a good mom . A

2:15

mom sacrifices to ensure

2:17

her child has or her children

2:19

has . A mother continues

2:22

to work off her own agenda

2:24

and the kids get the

2:26

leftovers . For example , she

2:28

ensures her hair and nails are done

2:31

, but the child may be falling

2:33

behind in school and requires

2:35

tutoring . Well , those funds

2:38

that she's spending on her hair and nails

2:40

could go towards the

2:42

child being successful in

2:45

learning the requirements

2:48

in school . Okay

2:51

, okay , ladies , i know enough bashing

2:54

. Let's get back on the topic highway

2:56

. I know I got off the destination

2:58

exit for the moment , so let's

3:00

talk about dad characteristics

3:03

. Dads are present and

3:05

involved in their children's lives

3:07

. They know their birthday

3:09

. They have even given the child

3:11

a nickname . The

3:13

child knows how to find their dad

3:15

and vice versa . A dad

3:18

freely supports the child not just

3:20

financially but emotionally

3:23

. A dad accepts responsibility

3:26

without being told . A

3:29

dad will verbally tell his child

3:31

or children he loves them . A

3:34

dad asks for forgiveness for

3:36

any wrong he has done . Long

3:39

story short , dads are

3:41

proactively protectors and

3:43

providers . No one has

3:45

to tell or remind them of

3:47

their responsibility . Now

3:50

can a father turn into a dad ? Absolutely

3:54

. If he has breath

3:56

in his body , he can mend his

3:58

ways . It's never too

4:00

late Now . I've heard

4:02

fathers asked for their children's forgiveness

4:05

and try to be a part of their adult

4:07

children's lives later . Yes

4:10

, it is up to the adult child

4:12

to make that decision . I

4:14

personally believe if he makes the

4:16

effort with the adult

4:18

child , then they

4:21

should allow him to . But that's

4:23

just my opinion , while many

4:25

adult children don't want to

4:27

relinquish the hurt he left

4:29

behind by not being

4:31

in their lives during their early

4:33

years . So it's

4:36

fair that they don't want

4:38

to immediately accept him , but

4:40

I do think long term they

4:43

should sleep on it and think about it and

4:45

allow him into their lives . One

4:48

thing they must keep in mind some of the fathers

4:50

are also linked to generational curses

4:53

that the children may not even be

4:55

aware of Meaning . Their

4:57

behavior is as a result of

4:59

what they experience from their own

5:02

father not being active

5:04

in their lives . So adult

5:06

children need to understand Some

5:08

of the fathers' actions are not on

5:10

purpose . Some of the behavior

5:13

is not deliberate . They

5:15

have to find forgiveness in their

5:17

hearts and press forward

5:20

Slightly . Veering to the left

5:22

here a little bit , i've been

5:24

seeing where people have been

5:26

saying hey , stop

5:29

wishing single mothers

5:31

happy Father's Day . Okay

5:34

, well , you know I

5:36

am not for or against the

5:38

statement . And the reason

5:41

why is when we consider the definition

5:43

of what a father is

5:46

supposed to do , he

5:48

is supposed to be a provider and

5:50

protector of his family , while

5:53

the mom is a nurturer . Now

5:55

, if he is absent , can

5:57

you tell me who takes on the role of protector

6:00

and provider ? Think about that

6:02

for a moment . You're

6:05

right , it's the mom

6:07

. She has to adopt this role

6:09

, so she has to be

6:12

the protector , the provider

6:14

and the nurturer . So

6:17

this is why some folks wish single

6:20

moms happy Father's Day , because

6:22

she is taking on all

6:25

of the characteristics to

6:27

raise the child And

6:29

so , again , to be fair

6:31

and given the responsibility

6:34

that they're tasked with , i

6:36

think it's fair to say happy Father's Day

6:38

. I'm sorry that folks

6:41

are offended by that , but

6:43

if they really understood the

6:45

characteristics that she's adopting

6:48

, maybe they would be

6:50

a little more receptive

6:52

and not get upset

6:55

that the single mama's

6:57

being told

6:59

happy Father's

7:02

Day . Finally

7:04

, ladies , if your child's

7:06

father wants to be a part of

7:08

your child or your children's

7:11

life , letting please

7:14

let him . I

7:16

encourage you to set aside

7:19

your differences for the sake

7:21

of the child . Again

7:24

, i encourage

7:27

you to set aside your differences

7:29

with him for the

7:31

sake of the child . You

7:34

two have to co parent . Yeah

7:37

, he may have messed up . Yeah

7:39

, you may have caught him doing some things

7:41

. Yes , yes , yes to

7:43

everything that he got busted

7:46

in . But if he wants to

7:48

be a part of the child's life , let

7:51

him . And if he's responsible , let

7:53

him . Your son and daughter

7:55

especially the son

7:58

has to have a

8:00

relationship with him if

8:02

he wants one with them . So

8:05

, ladies , again , this was a special

8:07

edition of single moms

8:09

United podcast , focusing

8:11

on the differences between

8:14

Father and Dad . I

8:16

hope you found value in today's podcast

8:19

and we'll share with another single

8:21

mom . Remember we

8:24

are in this together . No

8:26

matter how you arrived at the title

8:28

is what you do with it . Take

8:32

care , look for new episodes

8:34

next week .

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