Episode Transcript
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0:06
Hey ladies , thank you for joining
0:09
the Single Moms United podcast
0:11
. If this is your first time listening
0:13
, welcome If you're a
0:15
repeat listener . Thank you for
0:17
your loyalty . This
0:19
podcast has been developed to motivate
0:22
and encourage the single mom
0:24
. It's
0:26
not how you arrived at the title , but
0:29
what you do with it is designed
0:31
to get you thinking about your approach
0:34
to single motherhood , possibly
0:36
giving you an aha moment
0:39
. Now , today is a special
0:41
episode for Father's Day
0:43
. In my opinion
0:46
, we really should call it Dad's
0:48
Day because it's showing appreciation
0:51
to the dads
0:53
that step up to the plate , just like you
0:55
, single mom . So
0:57
I say that because , again
1:00
, anyone can be a father , meaning
1:03
a male right , but it takes
1:05
a lot to be a dad . I
1:08
want to take . I want to talk about the title
1:10
differences related to father
1:13
versus dad . A
1:15
father is a key contributor to bringing
1:17
about life , meaning
1:19
he is the other half of why
1:22
the child is in existence . Generally
1:25
, that is the extent of
1:27
how he acquired the title
1:29
of father . He was
1:32
there for the moment that brought about
1:34
conception . Just
1:36
because he is a father doesn't mean he
1:38
is a dad . A father must be
1:41
taken to child support court
1:43
. A father won't know their
1:45
child's birthday or
1:47
middle name in some
1:49
instances . In other
1:52
words , there is a distinct
1:54
difference between father
1:56
and dad . Fathers
1:58
aren't generally active in their kids' lives
2:01
, unfortunately . Now
2:03
, to be fair and not solely beat
2:05
up on fathers , it goes
2:07
the same with mothers . Just
2:09
because you have the title mother doesn't
2:11
mean you make a good mom . A
2:15
mom sacrifices to ensure
2:17
her child has or her children
2:19
has . A mother continues
2:22
to work off her own agenda
2:24
and the kids get the
2:26
leftovers . For example , she
2:28
ensures her hair and nails are done
2:31
, but the child may be falling
2:33
behind in school and requires
2:35
tutoring . Well , those funds
2:38
that she's spending on her hair and nails
2:40
could go towards the
2:42
child being successful in
2:45
learning the requirements
2:48
in school . Okay
2:51
, okay , ladies , i know enough bashing
2:54
. Let's get back on the topic highway
2:56
. I know I got off the destination
2:58
exit for the moment , so let's
3:00
talk about dad characteristics
3:03
. Dads are present and
3:05
involved in their children's lives
3:07
. They know their birthday
3:09
. They have even given the child
3:11
a nickname . The
3:13
child knows how to find their dad
3:15
and vice versa . A dad
3:18
freely supports the child not just
3:20
financially but emotionally
3:23
. A dad accepts responsibility
3:26
without being told . A
3:29
dad will verbally tell his child
3:31
or children he loves them . A
3:34
dad asks for forgiveness for
3:36
any wrong he has done . Long
3:39
story short , dads are
3:41
proactively protectors and
3:43
providers . No one has
3:45
to tell or remind them of
3:47
their responsibility . Now
3:50
can a father turn into a dad ? Absolutely
3:54
. If he has breath
3:56
in his body , he can mend his
3:58
ways . It's never too
4:00
late Now . I've heard
4:02
fathers asked for their children's forgiveness
4:05
and try to be a part of their adult
4:07
children's lives later . Yes
4:10
, it is up to the adult child
4:12
to make that decision . I
4:14
personally believe if he makes the
4:16
effort with the adult
4:18
child , then they
4:21
should allow him to . But that's
4:23
just my opinion , while many
4:25
adult children don't want to
4:27
relinquish the hurt he left
4:29
behind by not being
4:31
in their lives during their early
4:33
years . So it's
4:36
fair that they don't want
4:38
to immediately accept him , but
4:40
I do think long term they
4:43
should sleep on it and think about it and
4:45
allow him into their lives . One
4:48
thing they must keep in mind some of the fathers
4:50
are also linked to generational curses
4:53
that the children may not even be
4:55
aware of Meaning . Their
4:57
behavior is as a result of
4:59
what they experience from their own
5:02
father not being active
5:04
in their lives . So adult
5:06
children need to understand Some
5:08
of the fathers' actions are not on
5:10
purpose . Some of the behavior
5:13
is not deliberate . They
5:15
have to find forgiveness in their
5:17
hearts and press forward
5:20
Slightly . Veering to the left
5:22
here a little bit , i've been
5:24
seeing where people have been
5:26
saying hey , stop
5:29
wishing single mothers
5:31
happy Father's Day . Okay
5:34
, well , you know I
5:36
am not for or against the
5:38
statement . And the reason
5:41
why is when we consider the definition
5:43
of what a father is
5:46
supposed to do , he
5:48
is supposed to be a provider and
5:50
protector of his family , while
5:53
the mom is a nurturer . Now
5:55
, if he is absent , can
5:57
you tell me who takes on the role of protector
6:00
and provider ? Think about that
6:02
for a moment . You're
6:05
right , it's the mom
6:07
. She has to adopt this role
6:09
, so she has to be
6:12
the protector , the provider
6:14
and the nurturer . So
6:17
this is why some folks wish single
6:20
moms happy Father's Day , because
6:22
she is taking on all
6:25
of the characteristics to
6:27
raise the child And
6:29
so , again , to be fair
6:31
and given the responsibility
6:34
that they're tasked with , i
6:36
think it's fair to say happy Father's Day
6:38
. I'm sorry that folks
6:41
are offended by that , but
6:43
if they really understood the
6:45
characteristics that she's adopting
6:48
, maybe they would be
6:50
a little more receptive
6:52
and not get upset
6:55
that the single mama's
6:57
being told
6:59
happy Father's
7:02
Day . Finally
7:04
, ladies , if your child's
7:06
father wants to be a part of
7:08
your child or your children's
7:11
life , letting please
7:14
let him . I
7:16
encourage you to set aside
7:19
your differences for the sake
7:21
of the child . Again
7:24
, i encourage
7:27
you to set aside your differences
7:29
with him for the
7:31
sake of the child . You
7:34
two have to co parent . Yeah
7:37
, he may have messed up . Yeah
7:39
, you may have caught him doing some things
7:41
. Yes , yes , yes to
7:43
everything that he got busted
7:46
in . But if he wants to
7:48
be a part of the child's life , let
7:51
him . And if he's responsible , let
7:53
him . Your son and daughter
7:55
especially the son
7:58
has to have a
8:00
relationship with him if
8:02
he wants one with them . So
8:05
, ladies , again , this was a special
8:07
edition of single moms
8:09
United podcast , focusing
8:11
on the differences between
8:14
Father and Dad . I
8:16
hope you found value in today's podcast
8:19
and we'll share with another single
8:21
mom . Remember we
8:24
are in this together . No
8:26
matter how you arrived at the title
8:28
is what you do with it . Take
8:32
care , look for new episodes
8:34
next week .
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