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Hey, y'all. I want to let y'all know

0:04

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of y'all for being members of the SEAL

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Squad and getting to get this

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little bonus episode right here, which essentially ends

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up being my weekly

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free therapy session outside

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of my visits to

0:37

my psychiatrist. So I

0:40

want to talk about a few things. I want to

0:43

talk about how to support friends. I

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want to talk about leaving Instagram. I want to talk

0:47

about the burden of purpose, OK?

0:51

A spoonful of sugar makes all that go

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down. And let me tell you something. I'm

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having a great time getting to be more

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connected with y'all because when we do the

1:00

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So you get to be in the chat

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Patreon? Now is the time. Become a member

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1:22

doses of help from the hip.

1:24

Small doses. We're talking

1:26

that shit. Small doses. And keeping

1:29

it real. Small doses. And being

1:31

in the SEALs. So

1:33

funky. Welcome

1:36

to another episode of

1:38

Small Doses podcast. Now

1:40

this is a unique episode.

1:42

We haven't done one of these in quite

1:45

some time. But I thought it was overdue

1:47

for us to do an all

1:49

DMT episode. We

1:51

talk about so many topics here. We

1:54

really, I feel like, are just expansive

1:56

in the way that we are able

1:58

to share stories, share information. share

2:01

experiences, et cetera. And so I know that

2:03

you guys have inquisitiveness around these things. And

2:05

I know that you guys always have questions

2:07

for me. So I said,

2:09

let's do it. Let's dust off a

2:11

DMT episode and give the people a

2:14

voice. So you are gonna hear our

2:16

producer AJ who is gonna read

2:18

me these questions from you guys.

2:20

And I'll do my best to answer them.

2:22

And let's just connect right here on another

2:24

episode of Small Doses Podcast. Shout out to

2:26

everybody who is a first time listener. Just

2:29

know that you can check out bonus episodes

2:31

of Small Doses Podcast where you can actually

2:33

be in the chat and ask me these

2:35

questions in real time by being a

2:37

member of our Patreon. All right,

2:39

let's do it. D-L-E. We're

2:43

turning it. Fire away.

2:45

And for the record, I have

2:47

not seen any of these

2:49

questions before he's asking me them. All

2:52

right, first question, Justin in love. How

2:54

are you holding up? Ah,

3:01

so I

3:03

know that this question is in response

3:05

to the attack on Amanda. It's literally

3:07

like Sharknado, but just like with like

3:09

black media. I hate the

3:11

just, and I'm glad I can

3:14

laugh about it. And I can laugh about

3:16

it because I have a good psychiatrist and

3:19

because I'm surrounded by people who know

3:21

me and who are emotionally intelligent enough

3:24

to be able to show me love.

3:26

And also because of viewers like you.

3:29

It's really, first of all, going viral is very surreal because

3:31

it's like happening outside of you. It's like a very thing.

3:33

We have a whole episode about it coming up, but I

3:36

think that we've really gotten to a point where people

3:38

just do not realize that they're dealing

3:40

with real people when they deal with

3:42

people that are on the internet or just people that have

3:45

a certain level of visibility, celebrity. Like they just think that

3:47

they're like not real people. And

3:51

because of that, then they don't feel the need

3:53

to treat them like humans. So

3:55

if we put this in the context of

3:58

Palestinians, the effort... And

4:00

we can put this in the context of the Jewish people

4:03

of the Holocaust in Germany. The

4:05

effort to make their murder and

4:08

their martyrdom, well, the

4:10

oppressor doesn't call it a martyrdom, but the effort

4:12

to make their murders acceptable

4:15

first began with dehumanizing them, referring to

4:17

them as animals, referring to them as

4:19

people without a love, without a culture,

4:21

without a home, without a heart, even

4:23

just the idea of Palestine and them

4:25

trying to say that it was a

4:27

valid invasion of Palestine that happened in

4:29

1948. They tried to say

4:31

that there was no culture there. There was nothing there.

4:33

They civilized Palestine. All that is a lie. But

4:37

that is a tool. It's a tactic.

4:39

The dehumanization of people is a tactic

4:41

that has been used on many scales

4:44

to then make the degradation of

4:46

them okay. Now

4:49

on a much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much,

4:51

much, much, definitively smaller scale. It's like, oh,

4:53

well, if we just dehumanize these celebrities or

4:55

whatever and make it like they're not valuable,

4:57

they're not like alive human beings, then we

4:59

can just say whatever the hell we want

5:01

about them and we don't have to have

5:03

a conscience about it. And once

5:05

people decide that they don't need to

5:07

have a conscience, they get wowed. The

5:10

human being as an animal is really,

5:12

really not okay. And

5:14

we'll go to the ends of the earth if

5:16

it lets itself in terms of wickedness. We've

5:18

seen so many examples of this. So

5:21

I just say that to say that you got to

5:23

ask yourself how you interact on this internet and

5:26

think about people's humanity. I'm doing

5:28

okay because there's enough people around me in my

5:30

circle that care about my humanity more than they

5:32

care about my celebrity, et cetera, et cetera. And

5:34

I've had to go through a lot in my

5:36

life to learn that I need to put my

5:38

humanity first before I care about any

5:41

of that other shit either. So thank you for

5:43

asking. Next

5:47

question. What do you do

5:49

when you feel hopeless? How do you center yourself

5:51

and regain strength? You

5:54

know, that's a really great question because I didn't have an

5:56

answer for that before last week. I

5:58

feel like what I would do when I was hopeless in the past. was

6:00

just like hope for it to pass. And

6:02

I didn't have like an active

6:05

necessarily like measured

6:07

or like strategic practice on

6:09

how to deal with that. You

6:12

know, again, like I'm fortunate that I have people

6:14

around me who I can talk to. So that

6:16

becomes a part of that, but it really was

6:19

something that I learned last week was that

6:21

I really have to unplug. And the thing

6:23

about unplugging is sometimes we think of unplugging

6:25

as like, oh, I gotta go to vacation,

6:27

right? Or I

6:29

gotta like change locations. But for

6:31

the first time, maybe ever, I

6:33

consciously just like put my

6:35

brain on ice and

6:38

just like watched movies and TV and ate

6:40

snacks and

6:42

let myself just be. And

6:46

it proves to

6:49

be very effective in

6:51

allowing my brain the pause

6:53

that it needed from being just

6:56

in a loop around

6:58

the madness. And sometimes it's

7:00

around the hopelessness that we find our brain is in a

7:02

loop, right? We keep going in a loop of trying to

7:04

figure out what a solution is and we can't find it

7:06

and then it feels hopeless. You know,

7:09

right now there's a hopelessness that I have

7:11

just every day as it relates to not

7:13

only what's going on in Gaza and in

7:15

Congo and the Sudan, but the way the

7:17

world is dealing with it. Just

7:20

watching the mendacity, just

7:23

the waterfall of fuckery that goes down on

7:25

a daily basis. You're

7:27

just like, what is this really where we are? And

7:30

so there is a hopelessness around that that I definitely

7:32

am still trying to deal with. I mean, I

7:35

went on Lexapro, which I had never really

7:38

considered going on medication for mental

7:40

health before, but I have a

7:42

theory. I feel like

7:44

we are in a world now that

7:47

is so processed and

7:50

is manufacturing so much that

7:54

it is now also manufacturing hate. It

7:58

literally creates hate out of thin air. And

8:01

there's so much hurt and trauma that

8:03

hasn't been dealt with and Baby,

8:06

all that energy exists. Just so we're clear

8:08

energy is a real thing It's like when

8:10

you stand next to a piano and you

8:12

can feel The sound of

8:14

the piano hitting you that's energy When

8:16

you in a room and someone walks in the room and it just rubs

8:18

you the wrong way That's energy now

8:21

by the way that energy might be your energy The

8:23

rub in the wrong way might be the fact that your energy

8:25

is off So I just want to say that but energy is

8:27

a real thing. We are combusting We are

8:30

made of atoms y'all we are an

8:32

engine that is always combusting your heart beating is an

8:34

engine Like when you look at a car engine, it's

8:36

the same shit as a body All

8:38

of these pieces need to work together to make this thing

8:40

move So

8:43

we are in a world Where

8:47

the energy is so processed

8:49

with hate and Mendacity and

8:51

just negative things that some

8:53

of our spirits literally can't

8:55

process the energy It's

8:58

like being diabetic and not being able to

9:00

process sugar You need

9:02

insulin to help you do that because you

9:04

physically cannot I think

9:06

some of us are ending up on

9:09

meds because we spiritually cannot process the

9:12

energy that is existing right now or that

9:15

ever was existing and I

9:18

think that's a real thing that I've had

9:20

to admit to myself Like I simply just

9:22

cannot process it my spirit my soul Cannot

9:25

break it down in order to be

9:27

something valuable to me. And so I need

9:29

help You're

9:36

out here hustling but you're also using

9:38

the McDonald's app to have your favorites

9:40

delivered to your door Next

9:51

question on a bit of a ladder note How

9:54

are you so fly and when and

9:56

how did your love of bonobos begin?

10:00

Oh, I got two great questions. How

10:03

am I so fly? My mom is fly. Like

10:06

my mom has always been like super duper stylish.

10:08

That's really her thing. And then she always had

10:10

me stylish. But then I was off the,

10:12

I had a tough road for a while there, y'all.

10:14

I was wearing platform sketches. I

10:18

just had every kind of kangal you can think of. I

10:21

mean, there was an awkward phase that

10:23

lasted far longer than it should have, far longer than

10:25

it should have. But, you know, I

10:27

would say around my thirties, I started to figure

10:29

it out. And I had a

10:31

stylist tell me, you know, Amanda, you're an artist.

10:34

And I talk about this in my book, Small

10:36

Doses, available in

10:38

hardback, paperback, and

10:41

on audiobooks. I had a

10:43

stylist tell me, you know, Amanda, you're a

10:45

painter. And if you looked at your body as

10:48

the canvas, you

10:51

would be able to style yourself.

10:54

And that was something I had never considered.

10:56

Like I'm really, really good with color. So

10:58

she was basically telling me, you're really good

11:00

with color. You're a painter. You know how

11:02

to put color together. Like bring that together

11:04

in how you dress. And that just opened

11:06

up a whole world for me in terms

11:08

of like how I put style together. And

11:10

it took some time. It took some time.

11:12

But now I really know what my style

11:14

is. My style is basically, can a

11:17

regular bitch pull this off? Like that's basically my style.

11:20

If it can't be pulled off by just anybody,

11:22

give it up. I want it. I'm

11:25

challenging myself. I just remember my friend, Mike Walker in

11:27

high school, he had these green Adidas and we all

11:30

just the clown, these green Adidas. Cause they were just

11:32

so big. Like his feet were so big. And we

11:34

were like, why did you buy these? He's like, because

11:36

they're so ugly. Look at how ugly these shoes are.

11:38

He's like, Amanda, these are the ugly issues ever. And

11:41

I just felt like, you know what? I can bring

11:43

joy to these ugly shoes. It's

11:45

a challenge. Sometimes I will literally buy something

11:47

because I'm just like, this is so ugly.

11:49

It deserves love. Like I wish, you

11:51

know, I wish I didn't do that with like

11:53

the spirit of niggas that day, but that's, you know,

11:56

it's a work in progress. Yikes. I'm

12:02

also just really relieved that as I've gotten older,

12:04

by the way, that my style has kept up with my aging.

12:07

I'm really relieved that I'm

12:09

not 42 and still like, why

12:11

can't I wear a poom, poom short? I'm

12:13

just really, really glad because I didn't

12:15

know what was going to happen. I don't know. Sometimes

12:17

we get to an age and we're like,

12:20

no, but I still want to. So I'm

12:22

really just relieved that I feel like my

12:24

style has matched my maturation process. So

12:27

bonobos. So bonobos are one of the four great apes.

12:29

There are orangutans, there

12:31

are chimps, there

12:34

are gorillas, and there are

12:36

bonobos. Bonobos share 98.7% of our

12:38

DNA, just like chimpanzees. And

12:41

people know that I love bonobos because they talk

12:43

about bonobos on my internet all the time. I

12:46

fell in love with bonobos literally because I

12:48

just was brought to bonobos by

12:50

Mark Zuckerberg's internet. And

12:53

the Instagrams did a suggestion for me

12:55

because I used to follow some chimpanzee

12:57

sites like Tacoma and Lowirow

12:59

primates. And they brought

13:01

me to bonobos. And then when I started learning

13:03

more about bonobos from Lola Yobonobo, which is

13:05

the only conservation site for

13:07

bonobos, you can only find bonobos in the Democratic

13:10

Republic of Congo, by the way, that's the only

13:12

place where they exist. And

13:14

so there's this conservation project. And what is

13:16

so fascinating about bonobos is that they are

13:18

a matriarchal community. Now you've seen

13:20

a lot about chimpanzees, you know, Jane

13:23

Goodall, et cetera, but you may not know a

13:25

lot about bonobos because, and this is a very

13:27

important fact that I think will also show why

13:29

I was so intrigued by it. When

13:32

the colonizers came to Africa, they

13:34

also brought with them scientists

13:36

and anthropologists and archeologists, et

13:38

cetera. And the scientists

13:41

and anthropologists, they came across different animals. And

13:43

when they came across the chimpanzees and

13:46

the bonobos, they were more connected

13:49

or they felt more intrigued by

13:51

the chimpanzees because they felt more

13:53

like their society. Well,

13:55

chimpanzees are a patriarchal society. They also have a

13:57

lot of rage, right? They have a lot of

13:59

rage. and the way they interact,

14:01

they're very territorial. And it's no

14:04

shade to the chimpanzees, but it's very

14:06

obvious that, yes, a colonizer would look at

14:08

that and say, yeah, that feels like us.

14:11

Which, by the way, is bonkers. Like, you looked at chimpanzees

14:13

and said, yeah, that feels like us. That should tell you

14:15

the problem with yes. But bonobos are

14:17

matriarchal. And they were just like, ah, we're

14:20

not interested in that. Well, then,

14:22

of course, it makes me more interested. Bonobos

14:27

have literally evolved out of fighting.

14:29

They solved everything with sex. It's

14:33

called a bonobo kiss. They literally scissor. When

14:35

they are, like, in some type of tension, they scissor.

14:38

And it's all good. When they run

14:41

across other clans of bonobos, they share their

14:43

food. They don't fight them. They

14:45

share their food. The

14:47

mothers all share in caring for their

14:49

young. The boy bonobos, when

14:51

they grow up, they stay as a part

14:53

of the clan, but the women are still in charge. And

14:56

they lead with love. And

15:00

so that, to me, was just such

15:02

an incredibly intriguing and beautiful

15:04

fact because it really, once again, shows us

15:06

how we can learn from the animal kingdom

15:09

versus oftentimes people try and use the animal

15:11

kingdom as a way to discriminate. And

15:14

the other thing I want to point out about that, though, is

15:16

that I have this theory. Here's another

15:19

one of my theories. I have this

15:21

theory that if evolution is real, there's

15:24

folks that evolved from chimps and there's folks that evolved

15:26

from bonobos. Because I also feel there's

15:28

only two kinds of people. People who want power and people who want

15:30

peace. So

15:32

that's my theory. One day

15:34

I'll write a book of my theories. Love

15:38

that. But you can follow

15:40

Lola Ya Bonobo and you

15:42

can get involved and get in love with bonobos, too.

15:44

And there are bonobos here in America in a number

15:46

of zoos, right here in the San Diego Zoo

15:48

is one of them. Next

15:53

question. Why do you think

15:55

a comedy scene in Grenada and wider

15:57

Caribbean is low to non-existent? I

16:00

think a comedy scene in Grenada and like

16:03

other Caribbean countries is low to non-existent because

16:05

literally everybody is funny Like

16:09

like in America like being funny is a

16:11

skill it's an art and in like the

16:13

colonial spaces like it's a skill and it's

16:15

an art in a way that it really

16:17

is like platformed

16:21

I Also think that

16:23

it comes out of the and this is

16:25

me just watching poetic But it

16:27

comes out of like the royal Tradition

16:30

of there being a jester like

16:32

there being somebody to perform for

16:34

the people not even the

16:36

people but to form for the royalty And so

16:39

I think like that has developed out in Western

16:41

society in a way that it hasn't

16:43

in the Caribbean like anti-colonial spaces that

16:46

I have like debunked You know those

16:48

traditions I will say though that I

16:50

come back to the fact that everyone

16:52

in Grenada is funny Even

16:55

if they're funny is like drive humor or

16:57

sarcasm like everybody got jokes It's like legit

16:59

a thing so like if you're a comedian

17:01

You're like, how do you perform for a

17:03

whole audience of funny people? Like

17:06

they look at it you like I got a better

17:08

job than that. So I think that's part of it

17:10

now Don't get me wrong I think that there is

17:12

a space for it because ultimately everybody want to laugh

17:14

and not everybody want to make people laugh Professionally, right?

17:17

But I do think that that's part of

17:19

the reason why is that and then the

17:21

third reason is because the Caribbean in general

17:24

Has always done a side-eye to the arts even

17:26

though they'd be the best at the arts like they'd

17:28

be so about making music So about making clothes so

17:30

about dance, but they'd be like that's not a career.

17:32

Let's not like a profession

17:35

You know, we just doing this and then the folks that

17:37

really be about it You better be about it about it

17:39

about it for it to be respected. So

17:41

I think that's part of it, too One

17:46

morning you just walk in with a bag

17:48

of everyone's faves from McDonald's drop it on

17:51

the counter and say Breakfast is on me.

17:53

Oh That's the power saving money

17:55

on the McDonald's app. Hope you can handle all

17:57

that How

18:03

do you stay creative and original in a world

18:06

that forces us to play it safe for survival?

18:09

I think one of the biggest ways that I stay creative

18:13

and original in a world that forces us

18:15

to fight for survival is I surround myself

18:17

with people who also feel like being creative

18:19

is a key part of their survival. You

18:23

know, once you are an artist, like you can't

18:25

just not make art. I think that that's something

18:28

that a lot of people who maybe don't consider

18:30

themselves artists can't necessarily relate to. But you know,

18:32

Herbie Hancock once told me, he was like, everybody's

18:34

an artist. And I said, Herbie, how do you

18:36

say that? He said, because

18:39

life requires creativity. Everybody

18:41

has to find a way and

18:43

it demands creativity. But

18:46

capitalism has really stunted that in

18:48

so many folks. Their creativity ends

18:50

up being wielded for just the

18:52

pursuit of dollars, which is not

18:54

oftentimes ethical or moral or principled.

18:57

And art ultimately is a

18:59

God gift. It is the making of something

19:01

from nothing. I believe everybody has

19:03

the capability to do that on a certain extent. And

19:05

even if you don't do it on a high level,

19:07

I believe everybody should engage in that to a

19:09

certain extent as a certain

19:12

meditative practice. And so for me,

19:14

it's a matter of life. Like I have to create

19:16

art. Like even no matter how shitty the world is,

19:18

I would have to create art. If I'm imprisoned, I'd

19:20

be like, can I have a piece of chalk? Because

19:23

I can't stab you with a piece of chalk. But can I have a

19:25

piece of chalk that you're on the wall? You know,

19:28

like I would still be writing poems. I

19:30

remember that to this day, the reason me

19:32

and yoga have never quite gelled was because

19:34

the original person who taught me yoga did

19:36

it in such like a contentious mind state

19:38

because we were doing yoga as a movement

19:40

class as soon as he purchased. And

19:43

I remember him asking me, what do you think about when you're

19:45

doing the yoga? And at that time I was a poet and

19:47

he asked me what I think about. And I said, all right,

19:49

poems in my head. And he was like, you're doing it wrong.

19:52

You're doing the yoga wrong. And I was like, is

19:54

that like a thing? Is that even possible? But

19:57

he just contextualized yoga for me as like this.

19:59

things that I've just never been able to move

20:01

past but notice that even in yoga even in

20:03

the meditative space I was still trying to create

20:06

Because that's the natural place that I go in

20:08

a place of peace So

20:11

that's how and I think the other part of

20:13

it is that I think art is very healing

20:15

and a very and it can be used To

20:17

be very informative and it can

20:19

be used to activate So it has like so

20:21

many purposes particularly in a world that is so

20:23

full of ignorance and that is forcing us to

20:26

survive It has so many Restorative

20:29

and just positive purposes In

20:34

your voice next question What's

20:37

something you collect that you love to look at

20:39

that might surprise us Oh,

20:41

that's such a great question What's

20:44

something I collect that

20:46

I love to look at? That

20:50

might surprise you I

20:55

collect so many things I'm

20:59

not a hoarder. I am a collector And

21:03

once I like something I definitely be like about

21:05

it Which is why like my mom called

21:07

me the other day and was like do you still want these beanie babies?

21:10

Because they're just here collecting dust. I'm like,

21:12

no, they're still there being collected relax. Don't

21:14

touch my stuff I

21:16

would say something that I collect that you all Might

21:19

not know is I collect really cool pillows

21:22

That's been a thing. I know what it is. I collect chairs

21:26

If anybody comes to my house They

21:28

will see that there's mad places to

21:30

sit in my house AJ, I

21:32

don't know if you've ever noticed this he's like shaking

21:34

his head They're all

21:36

like different shapes and colors and some

21:38

of them are covered in different

21:40

colors I

21:43

love chairs I love chairs

21:45

and I saw on instagram one time this ball where

21:47

she Has just like all different like

21:49

mini chairs that she's collected from like doll houses

21:51

and stuff like that Listen

21:53

next home. I live in there's a chair wall coming

21:57

It's gonna be in like a guest bathroom or something, but

21:59

I just really love chairs. I don't even know where

22:01

this came from. I don't know why it is, but I

22:04

love me a chair, honey. And I will, I'm

22:07

constantly trying to look for more places to put

22:09

chairs. All right. There's a corner in

22:11

this room that if the camera wasn't there, there'd

22:14

be another chair. I love it. Next

22:20

question. What book would you recommend

22:22

to someone looking for inspiration and

22:24

power? The Alchemist without question. By

22:26

Paolo Coelho. Because the Alchemist is

22:29

a very simple read, but it's as deep as you

22:31

want it to be. And it is

22:33

always available to you no matter where you are in your

22:35

life. So what I mean

22:37

by that is that it's a text that's

22:40

an allegory. So because it's an allegory, it's

22:42

a story about life. But the

22:44

way that it's written, it's a story about

22:46

literally any time of your life. It's

22:49

just about when you're reading it, where your

22:51

head is at. I've read The Alchemist at

22:53

least five times. And every time I read

22:55

it, it's relevant and helps me

22:57

to contextualize, kind of like where I am,

22:59

where I'm going, what I'm doing. So it's

23:02

very interesting in that way. And

23:04

very just unique in that way as

23:06

it relates to texts. There's another

23:09

book by Paolo Coelho called The Warrior of Light,

23:11

which is not a narrative story like The Alchemist,

23:13

but it's like a collection of passages. Think

23:16

of like 48 Laws of Power, but like positive.

23:18

Like 48 Laws of Power is like literally like

23:20

this is how you trick the world. The Warrior

23:22

of Light is this is how you handle the

23:25

world that's trying to trick you. And

23:27

a homeboy of mine sent it to me

23:30

years back when I needed to remember that

23:33

I am a Warrior of Light. And so

23:35

those two books right there can really help

23:37

get you through. And they're

23:39

both by the same author, Paolo Coelho. Get

23:41

into it, y'all. Next

23:45

question, what is the memory that

23:48

makes you smile? Well, I'm writing my

23:50

new book right now, by the way, through the

23:52

bullshit. And so I'm having to do a lot

23:54

of memory searching because it's a memoir. I

23:56

call it a midlife memoir, because it will definitely be another

23:58

memoir at 80. when you'll really get the

24:00

tea, honey. So I've been

24:03

having to like go back in memory. So I've been

24:05

getting to do a lot of smiling because you're

24:07

just trying to think of different things. And one

24:09

of the stories in there is about just

24:12

my time in high school in

24:15

the performing arts magnet. And I'm not gonna like tell

24:17

the full tale of the story because I feel like

24:19

I want you to read it in the book, but

24:21

just reminiscing on just the

24:23

uniqueness of my Dr. Phillips High School experience.

24:26

Ah, DP! Ah,

24:28

DP! Always brings a smile

24:30

to my face. Like don't get me wrong, I mean,

24:32

I still had like my high school stuff, but I

24:34

think I was very, very lucky to have the high

24:36

school experience I did. And I just feel

24:38

like my class was like Harry's at Hogwarts. Like we were

24:40

just one of a kind, one of a kind. And shout

24:43

out to Brit Marling. Brit Marling who was in Mirth,

24:45

End of the World. She also is the creator of the OA. She

24:47

went to Dr. Phillips High School with me. And

24:50

I went to go see my husband from Insecure,

24:52

Waylon Marcus. He directed the remake of Don't Tell

24:54

Mom the Baby Sitters Dead for BET Plus. By

24:56

the way, he did such an incredible job. Please

24:59

make it your business to see that film. That

25:01

will bring a smile to your face. But

25:04

Jermaine Fowler was there. Shout out to Jermaine. And Jermaine was

25:06

in Mirth at the End of the World. And I was

25:08

like, yo, I really enjoyed the show. Also, Brit Marling and

25:10

I went to school together. He was like, oh, like college?

25:12

I was like, no, no, like high school, high school. Like

25:15

she used to write, give me a ride home in her

25:17

Volkswagen Bug. He emails her a

25:19

picture, a selfie of us, and she wrote him

25:21

back such a nice message. And she was like,

25:23

Amanda Steele's performance in High School were on another

25:25

level. He, yes! That's

25:27

me, honey. 4276 forever. So

25:31

that brings a smile to my face, to high school. Next

25:36

question. Is there ever a point where you will

25:39

become a professor? I doubt

25:41

it. You know, the thing about me is

25:43

that I really don't do well in institutionalized

25:45

spaces. I didn't realize how much of an

25:47

institution Hollywood was until I really made it.

25:49

And then it was like, oh, this is

25:51

just another institution. And your girl, it just

25:53

ain't cut for that. I'm just not cut

25:55

out. I'm too bohemian. I'm

25:57

too free. I'm too liberated. And I feel like the academic

25:59

space. is really that. Now, I guess there's a

26:01

version of which you can do some type of

26:03

adjunct professorship or whatever. But the reality is I don't

26:06

want nobody telling me nothing. And

26:08

I don't want nobody, I don't respect telling me nothing.

26:10

And that's the frustrating part about institutional. Institutions

26:13

oftentimes are people who are in a

26:16

position that feels like power, but that

26:18

isn't necessarily earned. You know,

26:20

they're not necessarily actually like valid or full

26:22

of merit. So you're having to take, that's

26:24

like why selling shows gets so frustrating because

26:26

you're sometimes pitching people who are like, I

26:29

don't even know you. I don't respect you.

26:31

Like you've never done anything that like makes

26:33

me regard or laud you. And here I'm

26:35

having to like pitch you my creativity. What

26:37

have you created? So I doubt

26:39

that you'll see me as a professor, but I do want

26:41

to continue to create, you know,

26:44

learning spaces of my own. Speaking

26:49

of Hollywood, this follower wants to know, do you

26:51

still have hope in the industry or do you

26:53

believe it's a lost cause? You

26:56

know what I always have hope in is creatives. I don't

26:58

have hope in the industry because the industry ain't about

27:00

creatives. The industry is about the industry, but

27:02

always have hope in creatives. We always find a way, you

27:05

know, we always find a way, we always make a way. And

27:07

ultimately, you know, we lean

27:10

on each other in

27:12

order to do that. And I

27:14

think that will always remain as

27:17

the cornerstone of where art is coming

27:19

from. These industries were built around the

27:21

art, not the other way around. That's

27:24

the word. You're

27:29

out here hustling, but you're also using

27:31

the McDonald's app to have your favorite

27:33

delivery to your door. That

27:35

hustling smarter or to

27:37

make delivery in the McDonald's app. Participate

27:40

in McDonald's. Next

27:46

question, what are five places in the world you haven't

27:48

been to but that you want to go? Oh,

27:50

I love a question like this. OK, I

27:53

would love to go to Bali. Never been to Bali.

27:55

I've literally never been to Asia. So I would love

27:57

to go to Bali. I'm just going to count this

27:59

as one. I would love to go to Bali,

28:01

Thailand, China. Like I would love to just

28:03

see Indonesia, Philippines, Vietnam. I'd love to just

28:05

see that part of the world. I

28:08

have never been to the Galapagos Islands and I

28:10

would love to go to the Galapagos. Y'all know

28:12

how I feel about animals. I would love to

28:14

go. I have never been to

28:16

the Congo. I would really love to go to the Congo,

28:18

not only to see the bonobos, but also to be

28:21

some part of helping, you know, the people

28:23

out there in the Congo, even if it's

28:26

just to capture content that can help amplify

28:28

what's going on in the Congo. I

28:30

would really like to see Petra. It's

28:33

in the Levant somewhere. So it's either like Lebanon,

28:35

Iran, et cetera, et cetera. But it's like this

28:37

ancient city and it is

28:39

just one of the most fascinating like

28:41

builds that humans have ever made. And

28:44

then two, because I'm going to give you six

28:46

instead of five, I really would love to go

28:48

to Sudan. Again, not just

28:51

because like there's humanitarian work to

28:53

be done there, but because it's

28:55

beautiful. Like there's so many places

28:57

in Sudan, man-made and nature-made that

28:59

are just incredible. And like what

29:01

happens is particularly

29:03

in Africa, places get just whittled

29:06

down to whatever war-torn conflict is

29:09

happening in that place. But that

29:11

oftentimes, instead of making people feel like that's what

29:13

needs to save that place, oftentimes

29:16

people like kind of are no longer looking at that

29:18

place as a place worthy of being saved. Like, oh

29:20

my gosh, it's just war-torn. And

29:23

we need to just once again, like elevate the

29:25

beauty of Africa and the fact that

29:27

the people of Africa, they deserve to live in

29:29

that beauty, in freedom. And the last place

29:31

I want to go is I want to go to Palestine. And

29:34

I hope with all of my

29:36

heart that on the

29:39

other side of this tyranny

29:41

and this degradation and just

29:43

degenerative behavior amongst human beings

29:45

that has led to a genocide, I hope

29:47

that the people of Palestine are given the

29:50

ability to self actualize and build their land.

29:52

And I hope that I get the opportunity

29:54

to come back there and help rebuild. How

30:00

was your experience as a child actor? Oh,

30:02

so y'all was watching the Nickelodeon. Some

30:05

people are asking about Dan. So

30:07

I never met Dan. I mean, he wasn't a part of

30:09

my experience. You know, my experience

30:12

as a child actor was actually rather positive.

30:14

I mean, my brother and me, we only

30:16

did one season. The cast and the staff

30:18

were very black. I was lucky

30:21

enough to be shooting like, I'm not even

30:23

exaggerating, six minutes from my house. So

30:25

I also had a certain like, comfort

30:27

just in proximity to home. And I

30:30

was 12, but I was always a

30:33

very elevated child, I guess to

30:35

say. So I was 12 going on

30:37

like 18 in terms of like

30:39

my awareness of my surroundings. And

30:42

my mother would have to drop me off

30:44

and go to work. So other people's

30:46

parents got to stay there all day. I didn't

30:48

have that luxury. But I was

30:50

also a well-behaved kid. Like I knew that

30:53

I didn't want nobody to call on my mom. You

30:56

know, and I also was not just a well-behaved kid, but

30:58

I also knew, even at that

31:00

age, I just knew the measure of what I was getting

31:02

the opportunity to do. So I wasn't going to try and

31:04

screw that up either. But I didn't

31:06

have like, when I was on my brother and me

31:08

in particular, like I didn't have any negative experiences with

31:10

Nickelodeon. There was this one like, dude that was racist

31:13

or whatever. And but all of us would just be

31:15

like, get the fuck out of here, Joel. But

31:17

my mom always reminds me that there was a

31:19

time where the director was having one-on-ones with all

31:21

the parents because the kids were apparently out of

31:23

control. And so then my mom came

31:25

in and he was like, oh, Amanda's dream. There's nothing for

31:27

us to talk about. That's

31:30

why when y'all be like, oh, Amanda feels difficult to work with.

31:32

I ain't never been difficult to work with even when I was

31:34

12. I'm difficult to work

31:36

with because I demand excellence. And

31:38

I'm not very sweet about it. That's

31:40

why I'm difficult to work with. I also demand you

31:42

to do the thing you said you

31:45

was going to do like on paper that I signed on.

31:47

But that's a whole other conversation. I'd be trying to be

31:49

sweeter about it though I do because I know that that's

31:51

a human necessity. So I do be trying. But sometimes you

31:54

go don't got it. You go don't got it. I

31:56

do remember one time though, where I was doing a commercial and they

31:58

tried to stuff my bra. Yes,

32:01

child. They were like,

32:03

yeah, like, let's just like, suck

32:05

your bra. And I was like, I don't

32:08

know how to do that. I was 15. And

32:10

so she was like, you know, okay. So then

32:13

I immediately went until my mom and then my

32:15

mom was like, boof, then you just add my

32:17

child and stop her bra. By the way, this

32:19

is for like an industrial commercial

32:22

for the USDA. But I don't know

32:24

why like the farmers need me to

32:26

have tissue titties. Okay. So weird stuff

32:31

like that happens. I think also people just

32:33

get over comfortable with kids on set and

32:36

kids, we're there being professionals. So they

32:38

adultify us. And so

32:40

that's why it's so important to have a

32:42

parent or guardian or representative that is making

32:44

sure that that is not going too far.

32:46

And it's so disheartening to see real

32:50

concrete 4k evidence of

32:52

people like Amanda Bynes and Ariana Grande not

32:54

having the people there that needed to be

32:56

doing that. Agreed. What

33:01

are you going to do just for yourself and your

33:03

joy today? Eat

33:05

cheese. I'm

33:08

going to have the last of my

33:10

cheese, my Dubliner cheese sticks, and then I have to

33:12

go on a break because I'd be doing too much.

33:14

So I'm going to have to not have cheese for

33:16

the rest of the month. But y'all, I'm going to

33:18

savor every nibble of that cheese stick.

33:20

I know some of y'all are like, really? That's the best you

33:22

could do? Yes, because I

33:24

am very busy. But

33:28

I've been thinking about that cheese stick all day. As

33:32

I look for the next question, I just want

33:34

to say your fans and supporters are really riding

33:36

for you. Everyone is like, I just want to

33:38

check in. Are you okay? No question. I love

33:40

you. So your love, just know

33:43

that we got your back. Thanks

33:45

y'all. As an only

33:47

child and as like a

33:50

geek, a late bloomer,

33:54

someone who was bullied for

33:56

various reasons. I would be bullied for all

33:59

kinds of reasons. I don't like

34:01

you. You talk white. I don't like you.

34:03

You like skin. I don't like

34:05

you. You think you're smarter than everybody else. You're

34:07

an encyclopedia." And I'd be like, what's

34:10

the answer?

34:13

So that was like my formative years. Those are the things

34:15

that I would be bullied for. So to

34:17

then grow up as an adult and then like,

34:19

I don't even know what I'm being bullied for

34:21

in this case, if I'm being perfectly honest. I just don't

34:23

even know because they can't even get their act together. They

34:26

can't even get on the same page about what the issue

34:28

is. It's just basically like,

34:30

we don't like her tone. But

34:32

I just feel like, what's my tone?

34:34

I mean, and there's so many people who are

34:36

fine with my tone and love the tone and

34:38

feel empowered by the tone. So it's also a

34:40

measure of ego when people feel like, well, my

34:42

version of this is the version that matters. But

34:44

I will say that it really,

34:47

as that person who has always kind of

34:50

been in this space of having a target,

34:52

it really feels just really, really, it's like

34:54

a really big deal to feel supported in

34:56

this way. I've never been supported in this

34:58

way in my life. And

35:00

it's not a small thing. You're

35:07

out here hustling, but you're also using

35:09

the McDonald's app to have your favorite

35:11

delivered to your door. That's

35:13

hustling smarter or to

35:15

make delivery in the McDonald's app. Next

35:24

question, what inspired Smart, Funny and Black? I

35:26

went to a show and loved it, curious

35:28

about the journey. Okay,

35:31

so let's begin way back 2014. I

35:35

was doing a lot of shows at the Stan comedy

35:37

club. I was doing a lot of stand up at

35:39

the Stan comedy club. And they offered me a show

35:41

on the weekends, basically where they're just like, Hey, like

35:43

you can have a time slot on the weekend where you

35:45

can do your own show and have your own audience and

35:47

take money off the door, etc. So I

35:50

said, cool. They were located in like at the

35:52

time, they were located in like the 20s and like

35:54

the financial kind of Chelsea financial district,

35:56

a lot of like the white boys who do

35:58

coke district. So I was like, I want to

36:00

be able to bring a different kind of audience here, you

36:02

know, like a smart like funny black audience You know what?

36:05

I'm gonna just call it a show smart funny and black

36:08

So I hit up Mark Lamont Hill because

36:10

y'all don't know but Mark Lamont Hill is

36:12

actually hilarious And I was like,

36:14

do you want to like partner with me in doing

36:16

this comedy show? So we actually started

36:18

smart funny and black together just as

36:21

a showcase of smart funny black comics

36:23

also because As I

36:26

got more involved in comedy because I started doing

36:28

comedy in 2013 as a

36:30

stand-up as I got more involved I

36:32

saw that basically there was like you're either

36:34

a black comic in the style of comic view or

36:37

You're a black comic that performs for white people But

36:40

there's like so many comics in the middle

36:42

that aren't black in the style

36:45

of comic view but I also want to perform for

36:47

black people and I just

36:49

felt like we needed our space for like

36:51

that kind of comedy like kind of like,

36:53

you know Intellectual black comics, you know more

36:55

like leaning on clever versus necessarily like the

36:57

physical side of things, etc And

36:59

so that was also what the goal was to create a

37:01

space for that particular kind of comedy And so you just

37:03

call it smart funny and black and you know exactly what

37:05

it is. So we did that and then When

37:09

I moved to LA mark has had a lot going

37:11

on. So we kind of just like drifted apart and

37:14

When I moved to LA the thing that was always

37:16

happening in LA with comedy was called comedy with a

37:18

catch and Everybody would have a show that

37:20

was like some type of like format

37:22

So I remember there was one that was like

37:25

strip comedy and like every joke you tell if

37:27

people don't laugh You got to strip something then

37:29

there was like a WWE comedy and it was

37:31

like wrestler like on the wrestling format Like everybody

37:33

had something that was comedy with a catch So

37:37

then I just remember one Saturday afternoon. It

37:39

just like came to me and I was

37:41

like I Feel like

37:43

I should bring smart funny and black Back

37:46

because I hadn't been doing it in LA But

37:49

I was like, I feel like I should rebrand smart funny

37:51

and black But like in like this comedy with a catch

37:53

format and I remember telling my mom I distinctly remember saying

37:55

to my mom like I really feel like maybe it should

37:57

be a game show and she was like I

38:00

don't know. And I was like, no, this time you're wrong. I think

38:02

that's what it needs to be. And

38:04

it started from there. So I just started kind

38:06

of ideating around what that would be. Then I

38:08

had a workshop in my house. I literally like

38:10

invited my friends over and had a workshop where

38:12

we workshopped Smart, Funny and Black as a show.

38:15

And then it just, it evolved from there. And

38:17

I started doing it in the back of this

38:20

comic book store called Nerd Melt. And

38:22

we did that for a year every month.

38:25

I sold it to TruTV and I got it back

38:27

because they were racist. They literally said to me, we

38:29

just want to make sure we're not doing a show

38:31

only for black people. They literally

38:33

suggested that I have Michael Rappaport do

38:35

the intros to the games so that their

38:37

audience would feel more comfortable seeing a white

38:39

person. Look where

38:41

Michael Rappaport is now. Chaa. Exactly.

38:45

The stories write themselves at this point. Yes, they

38:47

do. Yes, they do. And if people really

38:49

listen to my stories, I am very detailed.

38:52

Like when people listen to my stories and say she's always

38:54

complaining or she's always the problem, you're just not listening. Cause

38:57

I'm detailed and I will tell you where I was wrong. But

39:00

maybe I wasn't wrong in this one. Not in this

39:02

one. Some

39:06

people are wanting a little bit of

39:08

advice for family stuff. So one person

39:10

asked, how do you deal with a

39:12

loved one or a partner's family posting

39:15

anti-immigrant or racist rhetoric? Well,

39:17

how does your partner deal with it? It's a real question. Cause

39:21

that's not really for you to deal with. But if

39:23

your partner is co-signing it or not really like about

39:26

it, and then they expect you

39:28

to be around them, that becomes a real issue for me.

39:31

Cause it's like, it's one thing if your partner is like,

39:33

oh, you know, I don't really rock with them. But it's

39:36

like, if you see them doing that and then now I've

39:38

got to come and like spend time with them and then

39:40

you're going to expect me to be polite, maybe we got

39:42

issues. We got, we're not on the same page. Cause one

39:44

thing about me is I'm not going to be polite if

39:46

they are that type of low character, low vibrational person. So

39:49

it's not going to happen. Are

39:53

you still planning to get yourself a new trampoline as

39:55

a joy source? I

39:59

really want to, but I just. I feel like my setup here

40:01

is not conducive to one. So

40:03

we'll see. I have some life moves that

40:05

I'm working on that may make it for

40:07

a better place and better space. Another

40:12

person asks, who would you like to work with in the

40:14

future? Who would I

40:16

like to work with in the future? You

40:20

know, Ray Angry is a producer that

40:22

produced, niggas got me fucked up. He

40:25

works a lot with the roots. He produces a lot with the roots. And

40:28

I would love for us to just actually do a full

40:30

album. We've like tinkered and toyed with the idea before, but

40:32

then it just kind of fades away. But like, I would

40:34

love for us to do like a full album. Ebro

40:37

be on my head about doing an album. He's like, you

40:39

got bops. You got bops. You've

40:41

been doing these bops on the internet. I'm like,

40:43

I do got bops. So that's something that would

40:45

be really dope. And Mobetta Woo was

40:47

the musical that I wrote with Chris Bowers, who

40:49

was an incredible scorer. He scored Bridgerton, he scored

40:51

the origin, he scored Green Book. And I would

40:54

just love for us to do Mobetta Woo again,

40:56

but like for real, for real, you know, like

40:58

as a stage run. But

41:00

to be perfectly honest right now, I'm just really focusing

41:02

on the Amanda Seals ecosystem of it all. I've done

41:04

a lot of work with a lot of people and

41:06

I've had a lot of great experiences. I

41:08

just think I'm leaning

41:10

into like, what does it look

41:13

like if I'm the North star in

41:15

this particular galaxy? And I think once

41:18

I really lock that down, I'll feel

41:20

more inclined again to step outside and

41:22

collab. Do

41:26

you have a ritual or daily practice that brings you joy? Do I have a

41:28

ritual or daily practice that brings me joy?

41:34

It's like weird, like I don't like when others break my

41:37

routine, but I break my routines all the time. I used

41:39

to have a regimen for three months that

41:42

I would do on a regular basis where I would

41:44

wake up every morning, I would stretch, I would do

41:47

a headstand for three and a half minutes. I would go into sauna

41:49

for 20 minutes, I would do a regular workout for three and

41:51

a half minutes. I would go into sauna for 20 minutes

41:53

and then I would take a cold shower. And

41:55

I did this for three months as a healing practice after

41:58

I was essayed. And... I

42:00

wouldn't say that necessarily brought me joy, but it did bring

42:02

me peace. I would say a

42:05

daily practice that I have that brings me joy.

42:07

I really love studying Arabic on Duolingo.

42:10

Like really, like I enjoy it a lot. Like

42:13

one of the things I always encourage people to do is

42:15

like to impress yourself. Like it's consistent. Like

42:17

as adults, we need to continue learning and we

42:20

need to continue impressing ourselves. And it's like, it

42:22

does both in one, well-felt suit. Like

42:24

it's so cool to be able to look at written Arabic

42:26

and not just look at swiggles. I'm like, Oh, like I

42:28

don't know what it means, but I know what that's a.

42:31

And sometimes I do know what it means. I'm like, Oh

42:33

my God. Well, I'd. That

42:36

says, I, that

42:38

means I. Oh,

42:41

while I just man and in the eyes woman. Okay.

42:44

Bilingual. Listen, I'd be

42:47

trying a little something since then. What

42:52

land, sea and air animal would you be? What

42:55

land, sea and air animal would I be?

42:59

Big fan of the otter. I'm

43:01

a dolphin. Oh, no question. I'm a dolphin.

43:04

They smart as heck. You know, they're fun. They're

43:06

sexual. They're playful. They be swimming. I'm

43:09

obsessed with the ocean. I'm out here.

43:13

I'm a dolphin or I mean,

43:15

obviously I'm a. I

43:20

mean, you know, I can't be a CEO, but

43:22

y'all could be a member of the seal squad.

43:25

So make sure you subscribe to my patreon. And

43:27

again, like we do this essentially every week on

43:29

the bonus episode of small doses podcast. You guys

43:31

can be in the live asking questions in real

43:33

time. And even if you can't be there, you

43:35

still get access to the episode. So that's

43:37

been a really good squad members. So shout out to all

43:39

my seals. Whenever you see me pause on Instagram and I

43:41

put a picture of seals and it says my people, that's

43:44

because my name is Amanda seals. The amount of times you

43:46

will have been like, Oh my God, I'm just getting that

43:48

today. It's hilarious. I

44:00

really appreciate these questions. They're so

44:02

thoughtful. They're so indicative of just how

44:04

unique of an audience I have

44:06

been able to grow with you guys

44:08

being so compassionate and insightful and

44:11

kind, right? And kind, you

44:13

know? When I feel like when

44:15

my people go ham and support me, like they

44:17

don't be, they don't just

44:19

be in the comments trolling and being mean. Like

44:22

they're gonna hit you with intellect. They're gonna like

44:24

break down like your argument and show you how

44:26

it's like false. Like that's my supporters. When I

44:28

see other people's supporters, I'm

44:31

like just so you know your supporters are just mean

44:33

and dumb. And that is not it, honey. You don't

44:35

want them out here representing you. I don't want nobody

44:37

ever being out there being mean and dumb in my

44:39

name. Do not do it in my honor, baby. It

44:42

is not it. We are noble. We are classy. We

44:44

are loving. That's what we do. So we will correct

44:46

folks. Now if they come out, they face, you know,

44:50

do what you gotta do. But don't ever feel

44:52

like I'm wanting y'all to support me in that

44:54

way. No, no, no, no, no. We up here.

44:58

You know, we're on a high vibration. It's not just a

45:00

big ol' ol' high. We just, we're

45:02

gonna have a dimension, baby. That's where we at. I

45:04

thank y'all so much. It was very clear that you

45:07

all are in that dimension in these questions. And I

45:09

hope that I met the comments. I hope I met

45:11

the answers at the same level. And

45:13

that's it. But I'm fine.