0:05

Snap Judgment Studios.

0:20

I spend so much time believing

0:23

all the lies to keep the dream

0:26

alive. And now it

0:29

makes me sad. It makes me mad

0:31

at truth for loving what was you.

0:35

Eyes without a face. You're

0:38

listening to Spooked. Stay

0:42

true.

0:53

Every minute in your morning routine

0:55

counts. And I get that. My

0:57

name is Jeff Pierre. I'm the host

1:00

of The 7 from The Washington Post. It's

1:02

a new podcast where we give you the seven

1:05

most important and interesting stories

1:07

of the day, and all in just a few

1:09

minutes. You'll be caught up and ready

1:11

to drop knowledge without missing a beat. I

1:14

promise. Listen to The 7 weekday

1:16

mornings. Follow the show now. I'll

1:19

meet you there.

1:23

From KQED and PRX,

1:26

you've crossed over to Spooked.

1:41

My family like to

1:43

keep secrets.

1:45

My family said you don't tell your kids things that are

1:47

not for them to know.

1:49

So my parents

1:51

didn't tell us why they called

1:54

my grandmother at two in the morning

1:57

and asked her to come watch us. They

2:00

didn't tell us they went to the hospital.

2:02

They didn't tell us why they didn't come

2:04

back the next day. Or

2:07

how when my mother did return,

2:11

why she couldn't speak to me or

2:13

my little brother for a while. But

2:21

I guess we learn early to keep secrets ourselves.

2:23

It's why we didn't tell

2:25

her about the face,

2:28

the face that looked just like us. My

2:31

little brother and I, the face that visited us. That

2:34

night my mother was away. The

2:38

face my brother and I saw in the darkness and

2:41

were not afraid of. The

2:43

face stared back at us, smiling

2:46

in the nighttime. Later,

2:52

when they confessed that there was a baby and

2:54

their Jesus had taken that baby

2:56

back into his bosom, my brother and I

2:59

knew that child

3:01

had made a stop first. My

3:08

name is from Washington. Secrets

3:12

are never as secret as you think

3:14

they are.

3:21

Spook stars. Now.

3:52

We're headed to the Windy City, Chi-town.

3:55

And

4:00

since the listener should note, we want to advise you

4:02

that this story involves the death of a child.

4:06

And our storyteller

4:07

is Potty. And

4:09

Potty takes us back in time to when

4:11

she and her brother Ben were just four years old. And

4:14

Potty's best friend in the whole world, her cousin

4:17

Champ. Champ

4:19

was only three.

4:20

Scooped.

4:29

He got the nickname Champ because my

4:31

uncle was always like, you know,

4:33

you're such a champ, you're doing so good. Whenever

4:36

we had to put the respirator on him.

4:39

So that just stuck.

4:47

Champ was really lively, laughing

4:49

a lot. Like a big loud

4:51

laugh, which would make me laugh. And

4:54

we would both tilt our head back and

4:57

laugh so loud.

5:00

Champ never looked like he was sick.

5:03

He had like these big beautiful

5:06

brown eyes. His

5:08

eyelashes were so long

5:10

and curly and like, which are different

5:12

from mine because mine are like long, but they're

5:15

just straight.

5:20

He missed like a lot of school

5:23

because he was starting to get more and more sick.

5:26

And he would be like,

5:28

I want to go to school with you. I want to go to school

5:30

with you. Like take me with you to school. And

5:33

I'm like, I can't take you to school. Like, but

5:36

you know what, just so that you don't be

5:38

bored. I hid all these toys

5:40

around the house and he's

5:42

like, which toys? And I'm like, I'm not going to tell you which

5:44

toys that's going to make it a little easier

5:47

for you. And I'm like, you need to be challenged.

5:52

So I met my after school program

5:55

and I see my parents walk

5:58

in to sign us out.

5:59

I'm like, wait, what's happening? Like

6:02

we usually get picked up later. And

6:06

my mom is like, you know, like, just come on, let's

6:08

go, we have to hurry up. So

6:13

then we get in the car and she's

6:15

like, we have to go to the hospital,

6:18

champs in the hospital. And

6:23

we're driving, we get to the hospital. And

6:27

I just see everybody, like their faces.

6:33

And I'm just like, what is happening? I've

6:37

never seen them like this. And

6:41

I'm like trying to ask and my mom's just

6:43

telling me, you know, be quiet, be quiet.

6:46

And she rushes over to try to help

6:48

calm down my, my thea. This

6:57

day feels different because it's

7:00

gloomy outside,

7:02

but I'm being told to wear my super fancy clothes.

7:07

And usually when I wear these type of clothes, it's

7:10

for Easter. I

7:13

really hated this dress. It

7:15

was like pink.

7:18

I had these white shoes with

7:21

a black dress. Pink. I had

7:23

these white shoes with

7:26

really itchy socks from Mexico.

7:29

And they have a frilly thing around

7:31

the ankle.

7:33

Ben is dressed up in like this little

7:35

suit. It's like a navy

7:38

color. And I was like, oh, I wish

7:40

I could wear blue. And

7:44

my grandma's helping us get ready.

7:46

And I'm just like, where are we going? Like, why do we have

7:48

to wear these clothes? And my

7:51

grandma's like, oh, you know,

7:53

we're going to see champ.

7:58

And I'm

7:58

like, oh, finally, we're going to see. Where has he been?

8:01

Why haven't I seen him

8:03

these past couple of days? And she's just like,

8:06

oh, she's like, please. She's like, don't

8:08

ask any questions. She's like, you'll see

8:11

him. And when you see him, you

8:13

have to be really quiet. You

8:16

know, just don't make any trouble.

8:26

["Sabre the Wake,"

8:28

I'm told to go say bye to him.

8:31

And I'm like, oh, he's just

8:33

sleeping, because I see him in his casket.

8:39

And I'm like, oh, he'll

8:41

wake up. Once

8:45

everybody has gone to their friend, a lot

8:47

of people are sitting or getting

8:51

some refreshments in the next room.

8:54

And I'm like, oh, no one's really

8:56

paying attention right now, so

8:59

this is my chance.

9:02

And I told Ben, I'm like, I'll

9:05

be back. I

9:07

go up to the casket, and I'm like, champ.

9:09

I'm like, hey. Whenever

9:13

you're ready to play, like,

9:16

I know you're sleeping right now, but whenever

9:19

you're ready to play, me

9:22

and Ben are here, and we bought our toys,

9:24

and you forgot your

9:26

toy, your favorite toy. But

9:31

I brought it for you. I'm

9:35

thinking of putting it in his hand,

9:38

but then I'm like, if someone

9:40

else sees it, they're probably going to

9:42

take it out of it. Because his casket

9:45

was all white in the inside.

9:47

It was all white, and he was wearing all white.

9:50

So this purple

9:52

little Barney toy is definitely going to stand

9:55

out. I tell him, like, champ, I'm just

9:57

going to put it underneath you.

9:59

under you if you

10:02

want it.

10:09

After I put it under, like it's

10:12

like the small of his back. I

10:15

put my hand inside next

10:17

to his hand and like

10:19

I hold his hand and I squeeze it

10:22

and I'm just like why

10:25

is he cold? I

10:32

wanted to try to like to warm

10:34

up his hands but

10:37

the funeral director they're

10:39

like hey what do you do it and I look

10:41

back and I let his hand go and

10:44

he's like you're not supposed to be touching him.

10:47

Don't put your hand in the casket

10:49

and and then I like hop

10:51

off the pew thing and then I like run

10:53

back to where Ben was with the rest of

10:56

our toys.

11:05

My parents work at McDonald's so

11:08

they would bring us home a lot

11:11

of like the Happy Meal toys. They're

11:14

like the Hamburglar or like

11:16

the Batmobile. A

11:18

lot of the toys too that you could get if you

11:20

like put a quarter in it and you get

11:22

like a little sticky hand but

11:24

the toys that we always played with

11:27

we would call them our guys because

11:30

I was like these are dolls and champs like no

11:32

these are my guys.

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12:26

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12:28

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12:31

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That's code spookfifty at

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factormeals.com slash spookfifty. Me

12:56

and Benny are in our grandmother's living room.

12:58

We

13:02

have all of our toys like spread out

13:10

everywhere on the living room floor and I'm

13:13

like kneeling on the hardwood floors playing.

13:17

All of a sudden I just

13:20

feel like

13:21

a shift. It

13:26

felt like when you're in

13:28

the lake and a wave comes

13:31

and it just pushes you forward a

13:33

little bit. And then I like look over my left

13:37

shoulder and

13:38

I see champ standing there

13:45

in the doorway. And he's

13:48

like, bye champ. And I'm like, what? I'm

13:50

like, I'm not going to

13:56

say nothing. And I'm like,

13:58

champ. And

14:03

I like jump up and then he

14:06

starts running toward me and we both

14:08

hug each other. It

14:11

feels like it's really him. It

14:13

feels like I'm really holding him, like

14:15

hugging him. And

14:19

I see his face and I see his

14:21

big eyes and I see his smile,

14:24

like his eyes. I see everything. I

14:26

see all of him.

14:29

He just feels really warm. After

14:33

we hug, I pull away from

14:36

him and I have my hands on his shoulders

14:38

and I'm like, Chab, it's really you, it's

14:40

really you.

14:42

And I'm kind of shaking him a little bit

14:44

and he's like, ugh. And

14:47

he's like, yeah, it's me. I'm

14:54

like, wait, where's your respirator?

14:57

We have to get your machine. And

15:00

he's like, no, I don't need it anymore. And

15:04

he's like, no, really. He's like, look, I

15:06

can breathe. And he starts

15:09

inhaling this huge breath and he's

15:11

like, and then he

15:13

blows it, exhales. He's

15:16

like, you see? He's like, I don't need

15:18

it. And he's smiling. And

15:21

I'm like, okay, you

15:23

don't need it.

15:24

I was like, wow. I was like, I've never seen

15:26

you breathe like that. And

15:28

I'm like, okay, well, come on, let's play. And

15:31

then he's like, yeah, I brought my toy.

15:38

We kneel on the floor, start

15:41

playing with our toys. And he's

15:43

like, he's

15:45

like, I got you. Blah, blah, blah.

15:48

And I'm like, no, you didn't get me. And

15:50

he's like, that's not fair. I got you first.

15:52

And I'm like, okay, fine. You got me.

15:55

And then I like plop over the toy. Ah,

15:57

like I'm dead. And we start laughing.

16:00

And I was

16:01

like, where have you been? Like, I haven't

16:03

seen you. He's like, I don't know. He's

16:05

like, I just, I just went away. And

16:07

then I came back. And then

16:09

I was like, the last time I saw you, you

16:12

were sleeping in this

16:14

thing and you were wearing all white.

16:16

And I'm like, where are your clothes? Cause he's

16:19

wearing just a t-shirt and

16:21

like shorts. And he's like, I

16:23

don't need those clothes.

16:25

I'm just, I just want to play.

16:30

And then we're just playing. Again,

16:35

like I feel this shift. I

16:42

hear my grandma saying like, pati, I

16:45

turned around and like, she's at the

16:47

doorway. She's like, I can't love

16:49

last me. And I was like,

16:51

champ. I'm like, he's here. And

16:54

she's like, where? He's

16:57

right here. And when I turn,

16:59

like he's no longer there.

17:07

And

17:11

my grandma's like, is

17:14

this the first time that

17:16

you see him? And I'm

17:18

like, well, yeah. Like since

17:20

when, the last time when he was sleeping and

17:24

she was like, oh, okay. And

17:26

then she tells Ben like, go

17:29

back to play with, with Pati and Ben's

17:31

like, uh-uh. Like, I don't want

17:33

to. And then my

17:36

grandma's like, okay, well, you know what? It's time to eat

17:38

anyway. So come on, like, let's go to the kitchen.

17:45

But I did talk to him about it. I

17:47

was like, you didn't feel a push or anything.

17:50

He's like, you just stopped playing with me

17:53

and you started talking to champ. And

17:55

I got scared and I went and I got grandma.

18:03

I don't know if you did that on purpose

18:05

to scare me,

18:07

but don't do that again.

18:10

I'm like, Ben, I didn't do that

18:12

to scare you. I'm not trying to be mean

18:14

to you. Champ was really

18:17

there. And Ben

18:19

was like, well, I didn't see him and

18:21

I didn't hear him.

18:24

That's when I think me and my grandmother

18:26

got even more close because she

18:30

started telling me like, we come

18:32

from a line of healers and

18:34

curanderas.

18:37

We can feel and

18:40

see things that other people can't.

18:42

And it's not something that you can learn

18:44

how to do.

18:50

At this point, I'm like getting older and I

18:52

like, I'm not playing

18:55

as much. I start

18:57

reading more.

19:07

Ben and I are in our living room and

19:10

we're on

19:11

the couches, like opposite couches.

19:14

I'm reading. Ben's

19:16

like reading me the mad lib.

19:18

The mad lib ends and we're like laughing.

19:21

And then one of our toys is

19:25

by the TV on the floor. And

19:28

whenever you press this toy on,

19:31

it would say hello. And when

19:33

you turn it off, it would say goodbye.

19:37

All of a sudden it just says,

19:40

hello.

19:47

And Ben looks up at me and he

19:50

was like, did you do that? And

19:55

I'm like, no. I'm like, how can I do

19:57

that? I'm all the way over here on this couch.

20:00

The toy's over there. And

20:02

he like looks at the toy and he

20:04

looks at me, he's like, oh, I thought you

20:07

had the toy like behind your back or something.

20:11

And then at that moment it says, Goodbye.

20:21

I'm like, dude, it's probably just champ. And

20:24

he's like, just let it go. Like it's

20:26

not champ. And I'm like, well, it's not me.

20:29

I'm going to prove to you that it's

20:32

champ.

20:33

I get like a butter knife from the

20:35

kitchen. I unscrew

20:38

the four screws. I

20:40

pop out these four batteries.

20:42

I screw it back together and

20:44

I leave the toy on the floor.

20:47

And then we go back to doing

20:50

reading and Ben's doing the Mad Libs

20:52

and then he reads it to me again,

20:55

like we're laughing. And again,

20:57

this toy goes,

21:03

Ben jumps off the couch and

21:06

he's like, Ma, and

21:08

I don't know where my mom was, but Ben

21:10

just leaves.

21:12

I stay on the couch. I'm just still

21:14

reading my book. I just say, hello.

21:17

I was like, I know it's you champ. I'm like, well, you're

21:19

scaring Ben. In

21:22

come my mom and Ben and

21:24

my mom's like, are you scaring Ben? And I'm

21:26

like, no, I'm like, it's champ. Like

21:28

he's playing with the toys and

21:30

Ben thinks it. I'm the one playing tricks.

21:34

Ben has always been like a little scaredy-cat.

21:37

At this point, she's like, she's like, I'm just so

21:40

tired. She's like, I'm so tired of this.

21:42

I just don't believe you, Bothe.

21:44

Like I don't and she was like, stop.

21:50

And then she leaves the living room

21:52

and Ben like follows with her. I

21:56

say out loud. I'm like champ, this

21:59

is getting.

21:59

really hard for me, people

22:02

saying that they don't believe me. I was like, I

22:04

need you to show them

22:07

that you're the one playing with these toys

22:10

and it's not, it's not me.

22:14

The toy goes off again and it just says

22:17

goodbye. I

22:22

felt bad for telling him like stop, stop

22:24

playing with the toys because

22:27

we were always playing

22:28

with toys. That

22:30

was our thing.

22:34

During this time I still

22:37

talk to him out loud when

22:40

I'm alone. The only

22:42

times when I see him again are

22:45

when he visits me in my dreams.

22:52

A couple years pass and

22:55

me and Benny start playing outside.

23:00

We pick up skateboarding and

23:02

we're skateboarding in front of my grandma's house.

23:09

I just get this feeling like to look, look

23:12

at my grandmother's house. I

23:21

stopped skateboarding and

23:24

I like kicked the board to Ben

23:27

and I'm like your turn and then I like look

23:30

at the house.

23:31

I'm

23:33

like I cannot believe my eyes. I was like whoa.

23:38

I see a champ like on the third floor window

23:41

and he's like waving. I

23:49

like bring my hands to

23:51

my eyes and I like rub my

23:53

eyes and I'm like blinking, looking

23:56

at the window again and he's

23:59

still there.

23:59

And I'm like, whoa. So

24:03

I start waving back and

24:05

I just yell out. I'm like, hey champ.

24:09

Ben, he's like, what'd you say?

24:11

Cause he's down the block at this point. And

24:14

I'm like, champ's here. I'm like, he's

24:16

at the window. Come say hi to him.

24:20

And Ben's like, don't scare

24:22

me like that. That's mean.

24:24

He's like, don't do that. So

24:27

then I look again and he's

24:29

no longer

24:29

there. I

24:35

was just like frustrated cause I'm

24:37

like, stupid Ben. The time

24:40

that I was like talking

24:42

to Ben, I could have like gone

24:45

into the house and like talked

24:47

with champ.

24:50

So as me and Benny play

24:53

more and more outside, I

24:55

see less of champ.

24:57

I feel less of champ. So

25:00

I felt really alone because when

25:03

I would try to talk to Ben about how I

25:05

was feeling or what was happening,

25:08

he was always

25:10

like, I don't want to talk about this. And

25:13

I feel like champ was the only

25:16

person that I can talk to

25:19

about the things that were happening.

25:23

I told him like, champ,

25:27

I really need to see you. And I need

25:29

to just talk to you. Like,

25:31

I just want to talk to you. I'd

25:34

be really sad and

25:36

I would fall asleep.

25:45

Like my dream would just start. And

25:48

he'd be like, I'm here, Pathi. Like you

25:51

said you wanted to see me.

25:52

And I'm like, yeah,

25:54

like where have you been? Like I haven't seen

25:57

you. Like you don't come to visit me. And

26:00

he's like, Oh, I'm sorry.

26:02

I'm just I've just been

26:04

busy. And I'm

26:06

like, busy. I'm like,

26:08

what do you have to do? Like,

26:11

I'm at the age where like, I understand like people

26:13

die now. So I'm like, you're

26:15

dead. Like, what are dead people

26:18

have to do? And he's

26:20

like, I'm meeting other people

26:22

like I'm playing with them. You

26:24

know, I've got things to do. And I'm like, okay,

26:27

well, I'm so glad you could

26:29

fit

26:29

me in your busy schedule. And

26:32

he would just be laughing. And he's just like, okay.

26:35

And then he'd be like, Wait, you

26:37

look different. He's like, why do you look like

26:39

that? Like, what's going on? What's happening?

26:42

And I explained to him, like, I'm growing up,

26:44

like, this is what happens.

26:46

Like, if you were still alive,

26:49

this would happen to you too. Because

26:56

in my dreams, he's always still

26:59

small, like he's still a little kid. He's

27:03

just like, Oh, he's like, man, yeah, then I'm

27:06

glad I

27:07

didn't have to grow up. And

27:09

I'm like, I know, like, it's hard. Things

27:12

are getting harder. I was like,

27:15

I don't want to grow up. And

27:18

he's like, well, you have to

27:20

but like, you'll you

27:22

can figure out like how to grow up. Ask

27:25

grandma. I'm pretty

27:28

sure she'll tell you like

27:30

how to do it. And I'm like,

27:32

Yeah, you're right. I should talk

27:34

to her more. Even

27:37

though I wouldn't see him. When

27:39

I was awake, I would see him in

27:41

my dreams. And he would tell me he's like,

27:43

well, if you really like need to see me

27:46

again, like just tell me and

27:49

I'll I'll try. And he

27:51

would tell me to like, but don't be mad. If

27:54

I don't come right away. And

27:57

he's just like, it just means that

27:59

I'm busy. He

28:04

stopped coming to me in my dreams.

28:08

I chalked it up to me just

28:10

getting older, but

28:12

also

28:14

I became like really depressed when

28:16

I was about 14 and my grandma,

28:21

she was the one that took care of me at that

28:23

time and I would tell her even

28:25

when I, when I talk to him I don't

28:28

feel like he's here anymore.

28:30

I don't feel him around anymore. And

28:33

she was like,

28:34

that's okay, like right now

28:37

you're not yourself,

28:39

like he'll come back to you.

28:43

When my sister bought a house and

28:46

it was, you know, bare, that

28:50

day I was gonna pick out which room

28:52

I was gonna have.

28:57

When I enter into this

29:00

one room that's off of the living room, there's

29:02

a little toy there. And

29:05

I'm just like, oh my gosh, this

29:07

is my room. I

29:09

like come out of the room and I'm like, Breezy,

29:11

and she's like, what?

29:14

Did you leave this there? I'm like, it's a little

29:16

toy and she's like, what? She's like, no. Like

29:19

this whole house has been empty, like nobody

29:21

has come in. You're the first

29:24

person to come and like pick out which

29:27

floor and which room. And I was

29:29

like, oh snap. I was like,

29:31

okay, well,

29:32

I know which room I'm gonna get.

29:41

I would find

29:44

toys all

29:46

around, like anywhere

29:48

that I went, like when it was to

29:50

my therapy, like to school,

29:53

to my sports. It

29:55

was

29:55

different routes all the time.

29:58

So I'm like, this has to be for you. for me

30:00

then, you know, like champ has to have

30:02

left this for me. I

30:06

would tell champ like I'm playing the game

30:08

now too, like I'm leaving you stuff.

30:11

I'll buy like maybe five dollars worth

30:14

of little toys and we have these things

30:16

called Arbolibros which are tree

30:19

libraries.

30:20

I leave books and I take books and

30:23

I also leave little toys. It's

30:29

just still celebrating the

30:32

way that our relationship was when he was

30:34

alive.

30:49

Thank you so much to Pati for sharing

30:51

your story with Spook. You also want to

30:53

send big love to Pati's aburita. The

30:57

original score for that story was by Leon Morimoto.

30:59

It was produced by Amy Nguyen.

31:07

It's that time. Ask

31:15

yourself first, have you told someone?

31:18

Because this dark path is better

31:20

together than alone. And

31:22

remember, if you also like storytelling

31:24

under the bright light of day, get the amazing Stupendous

31:27

Incredible Snap Judgment Podcasts of storytelling

31:30

with The Bee. Spook was created

31:32

by the team that knows full well to

31:34

beware of small children with glowing eyes,

31:37

except for of course Mark Ristage, who

31:40

was once a small child with glowing eyes.

31:43

There's

31:43

Anna Sussman, our chief spooker is Eliza

31:45

Smith, Chris Hamburg, Amy Nguyen, Lauren

31:48

Newsom, Jacob Winnick, Leon

31:50

Morimoto, Renzo Gorayot, Taylor

31:52

Dakot, Marissa Dodd, Greta Weber, Aliyah

31:55

Yates, Zoe Farigno, Salah

31:57

Khan, Tiffany DeLisa, Ann

31:59

Ford and

32:00

Fernando Hernandez. Oh,

32:03

they may be adorable. Cute,

32:06

precious, even. But that's

32:09

how they trick you in the end. Do not be

32:11

fools. Never, ever, never, ever,

32:14

never, never, never, ever, turn

32:16

out the lights. This

32:36

story

32:37

was summoned in the dark of night by

32:39

KQED and PRX.