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1:28

♪ Upbeat music ♪ Welcome

1:31

to So Bad It's Good with Ryan Bailey

1:33

presented by Betches Media. This is

1:36

an exploration of all pop culture, from

1:38

the classic reality TV moments of the

1:40

past and present, to the latest Daily

1:42

Mail headlines, and everything in between. We'll

1:45

dive into all the infamous and

1:47

notorious messes you can't stop watching. We're

1:49

looking at you, Tom Sandoval. ♪

1:54

Upbeat music ♪ Folks,

1:57

welcome to an all new episode of

1:59

So Bad. It's good with Ryan Bailey.

2:01

This is your Tuesday episode. How the

2:03

heck is everybody doing? Listen,

2:05

we're trying to get back getting back into

2:08

the swing of things back from

2:10

Columbus, Ohio Shout

2:12

out to my grandma. But today we are going

2:14

to try to laugh We've

2:16

forgotten about laughter. We are going to do a

2:19

recap of episode 3 of Citizen

2:22

Kane. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I mean the

2:25

valley. Oh, yes. Oh, yes You

2:27

have little faith all of you people that said

2:30

I'm not gonna watch the valley Well, who's even

2:32

who who's even gonna be watching this we didn't

2:34

ask for this Well, guess what? I

2:36

asked for this and I'm damn glad I did

2:38

because this is just glorious

2:41

trash I am so enjoying

2:43

the valley and I think

2:45

it is undeniable that Jack Taylor and Kristen

2:47

Dody are Television Mets

2:49

television stars on top of television

2:52

messes, but they're stars. I mean

2:54

it's It's it's

2:57

hard to come to that acceptance, but I've

2:59

accepted it and I'm just Excited

3:02

to watch where we go here I mean listen

3:04

on episode 3 at the end we

3:06

get this Jesse lally putting a hand

3:08

up for his wife to be quiet

3:10

Slamming a table down Luke Christians boyfriend

3:13

stands up I mean, it's it's got

3:15

all it's got all the things that

3:17

we need from a good reality television

3:19

show I can already see this in

3:21

its fourth and fifth season. I

3:24

mean, this is I this is

3:26

one to watch I'm telling you guys so I

3:28

couldn't let a week go by without recapping the

3:30

valley especially because I thought it was a really

3:33

strong third episode and

3:35

like I said last week the ratings you

3:37

guys like Vanderpump Rules got like a 1.0

3:40

in that range like 1 million like on

3:42

same-day viewers They got a point seven seven

3:45

zero and that might not sound like a

3:47

lot to you guys But that means it

3:49

kept over three-fourths of Vanderpump Rules audience Usually

3:52

the show after any show will

3:54

drop off Maybe like 50%

3:57

sometimes even more like Summerhouse this

4:00

vineyard, it had like a 70% drop

4:02

from Real Housewives of Potomac on its

4:04

first Sunday. And the Valley is picking

4:06

up viewers and that's not even taking

4:08

into account Peacock, DVR,

4:10

anything. That's just one night only viewers

4:13

and that is really good for this

4:15

show. So I would expect in the

4:17

next two weeks to get an official

4:20

pickup for season two of the Valley.

4:22

I would expect that any

4:24

day now, honestly, but I think it's

4:26

just a ridiculous show. And I like

4:28

that. I like that it's

4:31

ridiculous. I keep saying over and over

4:33

again, it's scandal ball adjacent just in

4:35

the fact that it has the same

4:37

DNA as Vanderpump Rules because of the

4:39

characters, but it doesn't for some reason

4:41

have that stench have that scandal ball

4:43

stench on it. It

4:45

has a whole nother stench. It's that really deeply

4:48

hot stench you get when you actually are in

4:50

the Valley during the summer. That's the stench it

4:52

has. And I think it smells

4:54

very good right now. So we'll get into

4:56

that today. How are you? Are you good?

4:58

Did everybody? How was the eclipse? Is

5:00

anybody blind? How did it go? Did

5:03

everybody get? I mean, listen, it truly

5:05

when I think about it, it truly is kind of a

5:07

magical thing, right? You know, it

5:09

makes you realize you're on a planet. You

5:11

know, it makes you realize there are other forces

5:14

at work. There is all of these amazing things.

5:16

Like I really didn't think that much about it.

5:18

I was like, dude, if I want to see

5:20

like a dark hole, I'll just like look within

5:22

myself on a daily basis. But then I

5:24

was like, you know what, I like the people I

5:26

like when people get excited by things. Like

5:28

it was in Ohio, I told you on Monday, every grocery

5:30

store was selling like the eclipse

5:33

glasses and t shirts. And I was like,

5:35

this is like an event. This is

5:37

a whole thing. And I didn't really even think

5:39

anything about it. But

5:42

it's good to be excited about something. I

5:44

like that. I like anything that people get

5:46

excited about, except for elections. Also,

5:49

if you are watching this on YouTube, which by the way,

5:52

we're over on YouTube as well. And

5:54

this started off and will always be

5:56

a podcast audio form podcast. And

5:59

for anybody watching over on YouTube, YouTube. Hi, hello, how

6:01

are you? Thank you for being here. But

6:03

just know usually, with any

6:05

of the audio with any of these

6:07

podcast episodes, you're missing like whole chunks

6:09

that I put on the audio podcast

6:11

only. Like on Monday's episode with the

6:13

amazing Carlos King, I did like 30

6:15

minutes with my dad, which was

6:17

a real nice conversation that I was able to

6:20

have with him. So there's always something more

6:22

than we put on the YouTube because that's

6:25

how this is conceived and will always be in

6:27

my mind is this audio podcast. But it's

6:31

amazing that people are checking it out on YouTube as well.

6:33

But if you check it

6:35

out on YouTube, go over and listen to

6:37

the audio version sometimes or subscribe, rate us

6:39

five stars over there. It really does help.

6:41

I mean, every little bit helps every new

6:44

ear, every new person. I appreciate you guys

6:46

being here. I'm going to

6:48

finally get to the Patreon Summer House

6:50

episode tomorrow. So hello, baddies, patreon.com/so

6:52

bad, it's good. And

6:56

that's it. I'm just kind of going along. By

6:58

the way, that's what I meant. If you're watching

7:00

on YouTube, look how my eyes are big bowling

7:02

balls. Do you see this? It's

7:05

because I got my eyes dilated

7:07

today. And so my eyes look

7:09

like big bowling balls. And I have a real

7:11

sensitivity to light right now. So

7:13

I might be squinting a lot

7:15

and look like I'm in deep

7:17

pain. Because I bit

7:19

the bullet and I'm getting LASIK

7:22

surgery on Thursday. That's

7:24

right. I am getting LASIK

7:26

surgery on Thursday because I was

7:28

so tired. My vision is

7:30

just getting progressively worse because it turns out I

7:32

am getting older and word on

7:34

the street is you guys are getting older too. So

7:36

I was like, I can't do this because I would

7:39

lose my glasses all the time. And then you're like

7:41

putting your glasses on to see in distance taking them

7:43

off to read my phone. And I'm

7:45

doing this LASIK where it's like mono vision. So

7:47

like one eye, they're correcting for distance one eye,

7:49

they're correcting, you know, for up

7:51

close. And supposedly

7:54

the brain then like gets used

7:56

to it and just becomes normal.

7:59

That's And you know, by the

8:01

way, me even saying it out loud going, I

8:03

know I'm going to be the one person that brain

8:05

the brain just doesn't get used to it. And I

8:07

hear you have some really bad headaches in

8:09

the beginning with this. But like, I watched this

8:12

season of Vanderpump Rules, so I'm used to pain.

8:15

But I do that on Thursday, I'm doing

8:17

Jeff Lewis's show on Thursday on Sirius, and

8:19

then I jet directly from there to go

8:22

do this LASIK surgery. And

8:24

I'm really excited and scared about

8:27

it. But you know, I don't

8:29

really usually do things like self

8:32

care things. So I'm kind

8:34

of kind of nervous, and I'm kind of excited. And

8:36

I hope it goes well. But

8:39

I'll let you guys know how it goes

8:41

at the end. I'm sure you'll find out because I'll be

8:43

just moaning and bitching if it doesn't go well. Okay,

8:46

let's get it. What I do, listen, there's a

8:48

lot of pop culture stories I want to cover

8:51

that I'm not going to be able to do

8:53

today. Hopefully, I'll be able to do that on

8:55

Wednesday's show. I wanted to cover Morgan Wallen, the

8:57

country singer getting arrested again. Sunday

8:59

night, he threw a chair off a

9:02

bar balcony in Nashville could have like

9:04

kill somebody really threw it from like

9:07

a six floor balcony. He

9:09

got arrested and tough

9:11

stuff. There's so many things going

9:13

on right now. I mean, Gypsy Rose Blanchard, which

9:15

we've been talking about nonstop on this show. I

9:18

mean, a lot of shit happened to Gypsy Rose in

9:20

the last week. She gets divorced

9:22

from this Ryan guy that she

9:24

met in prison, went back to

9:26

her former boyfriend fiance from prison

9:29

before Ryan, then the former boyfriend

9:31

and Gypsy went off and got

9:33

matching tattoos. And then to end the

9:35

week, she got a nose job.

9:38

And she sent exclusive photos to

9:40

TMZ. I'm telling you

9:42

got to put Gypsy Rose Blanchard on the valley.

9:44

Could you imagine that season two of like, there's

9:47

somebody new that moved in next

9:50

door to Janet and Jason Gypsy

9:52

Rose Blanchard. Can you I mean,

9:54

I'm just like, I hate to

9:56

say this when I was like, Gypsy

9:58

Rose, like there was a second where I was like. You know

10:00

what? Really, I think she's gonna be

10:03

okay. I think she's gonna be okay. Really,

10:05

really insane childhood. But now I'm just like,

10:07

I don't think she's gonna be okay, you

10:09

guys. And on top of it, they're filming

10:12

all of this for a reality show for

10:14

Lifetime. This is all gonna be in

10:17

the, cause Ryan, her now soon to

10:19

be ex-husband, was like, yeah, you'll

10:21

see on the cameras, you'll see how it all

10:23

went down. I'm like, geez, just

10:25

making a whole season of Love After Lock

10:27

Up. Like, please, what are we even doing

10:29

here? Come on, who's the brainiac that didn't

10:31

think of that? Please. Okay,

10:34

let's get as silly as possible with this today.

10:36

I need to laugh. Let's

10:38

get into this. Also, did you notice how Jax was

10:42

oddly quiet on the last scene with the big

10:44

fight with Kristen and all? Like, Jax was weirdly

10:47

quiet. Like, I was like, why isn't Jax like,

10:49

tagging in till I get in this? Like,

10:51

he kind of sat back and I was like,

10:53

what is, like, is this called, did he have

10:55

a gas or something? Like, I've

10:57

usually known Jax to jump into those things

10:59

and he kind of was like, huh, I've

11:02

created this mess. Let me just watch over

11:04

my kingdom. It was really bizarre. I just

11:07

went back and re-watched it again. And

11:09

I kept just going, man, he is oddly just

11:12

letting everybody else fight and staying out of

11:14

it. And I was about to say like,

11:16

that's growth, that's maturity, but we just know

11:18

that's not true. We know that's not where

11:20

he's at personally. Also, before we get into

11:22

this, I wanted to, you

11:25

know, I know he won't be listening, but I

11:27

wanted to give a shout out to Larry David

11:30

and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Now, Curb

11:32

Your Enthusiasm, they had

11:34

its 12th season finale and the

11:36

series finale, the whole series was

11:38

on Sunday night. They had a

11:40

beautiful 53 minute episode called

11:43

No Lessons Learned. And

11:45

I think if you listen

11:47

to an earlier episode of So Bad It's Good

11:50

from when Curb Your Enthusiasm premiered, I predicted that

11:52

this was how they were going to end the

11:54

episode. And if you haven't seen it, you plan

11:56

on watching it, maybe skip ahead five

11:58

or 10 minutes, because I do want to. to talk about

12:00

Curb Your Enthusiasm and how much it meant to

12:02

me. And I think to a lot of us,

12:05

I think Larry David, he

12:07

would really absolutely hate and

12:10

be disgusted by me calling him a national

12:12

treasure, but I do think

12:14

he is, and I think he speaks

12:16

to our times. And I love the

12:18

curmudgeonly persona that

12:22

he portrays on that show and potentially

12:25

is in real life. And I have

12:27

so many funny little Larry David moments

12:29

that you collect moments with certain celebrities

12:32

if you live in Los Angeles over

12:34

the two decades that I've lived here.

12:37

And it's like Jay Leno. I always see

12:39

Jay Leno in a classic car wearing some

12:41

form of denim, or I

12:43

used to see Andy Dick all the time, especially when

12:45

I ran a nightclub. He would

12:48

always try to sneak in at two in the

12:50

morning. He bit one of our security guards one

12:52

time and I was like, holy shit, I

12:54

have an Andy Dick tried to bite one

12:56

of our bouncer story now. You

12:58

just kind of collect stories of celebrities.

13:00

And especially if you were like me where

13:02

you were obsessed with celebrity and

13:04

pop culture, I was always that

13:06

guy my friends would go to of like, who's that

13:09

guy? Who's that girl? That's somebody, right? That's somebody. So

13:11

you'd just be like, oh yeah, that's Lindsay Lohan or

13:13

that's this. And you would collect these stories. Like I

13:15

remember back in the nightclub, I

13:17

remember where I carried coming in for a holiday

13:20

party once. I remember,

13:23

who was it? Oh, who

13:25

was it? Oh, Christina Aguilera. I remember Christina

13:27

Aguilera having to be carried out a couple

13:29

of times. I remember there were so

13:31

many great little stories where you were just like, wow.

13:34

It was wild to be a part of that. And

13:36

I was like, man, I'm a kid from Kansas. And

13:38

I get to watch Christina Aguilera being carried out of

13:40

a bar that I run. That's pretty damn exciting. This

13:43

was in the heyday of like Perez Hilton. And I

13:45

would remember I would go up to the office where

13:47

I would work out of and I would be, it

13:49

would back in the day when Perez was really popular

13:51

and you would just like refresh to

13:53

see who he's talking about next. And then

13:56

sometimes the people you would be talking about, what are you

13:58

actually coming into the bar? I remember Joey. tone

14:00

coming in one night. I don't know why I just

14:02

chose Joey Fatone out of all the celebrities. You

14:05

want to hear something big? Joey Fatone

14:07

came in. Yeah, yeah. The one

14:09

and only Joey Fatone. No, he was excited.

14:12

But Larry David, before

14:14

I talk about the show, Larry David is

14:16

one of those guys, obviously co-creator of Seinfeld

14:18

with Jerry Seinfeld. But he had

14:20

this great history that, you know, I've

14:23

learned over the years where he wrote

14:25

for SNL for a season or two.

14:28

He didn't get anything even really remotely

14:30

even on the air. You know, his

14:32

ideas didn't go over well. In fact,

14:34

there's one story about him where he

14:36

quit. And then he quit

14:38

like right before a live show on a Saturday,

14:40

and then realize what the

14:42

F did I do, I need this job.

14:44

And so he came back in on Monday

14:47

like he didn't quit at all. And

14:49

and nobody really nobody said anything.

14:51

And he continued to work there,

14:53

which actually, if you watch Seinfeld,

14:55

that is a George Costanza storyline,

14:58

where he does. He just

15:00

keeps going in. After

15:03

he's not been hired. I don't know.

15:05

So he did that, he

15:07

wrote for a bunch of like TV shows, he was

15:09

a stand up, he was that kind of stand up,

15:11

where if he didn't like the audience, you know, if

15:13

you get up there, tell his first joke, he didn't

15:15

like the audience, he'd be like, Thank you, good night.

15:17

He just seemed like he always kind of followed

15:20

the beat of his own drum. And the fact

15:22

that then, you know, he was friends with Seinfeld,

15:25

and, you know, they created the show together,

15:27

that was a juggernaut. But even then, with

15:29

Seinfeld, if you follow the history of that show,

15:32

in the first season, horrible

15:34

ratings, and it used to be called the

15:36

Seinfeld Chronicles on the first season. And it

15:38

got a couple of episodes, it was like,

15:41

really on the border of being canceled. And

15:43

I think it was was it Brandon Tartikoff,

15:45

the NBC executive, or was it? It was

15:47

one of the NBC executives that kind of

15:49

believed in it. And they gave it a

15:51

second season. And then finally, around the end

15:53

of the second season, it

15:55

finally found its voice with the Chinese restaurant

15:57

episode of them just waiting for it. their

16:01

name to be called in the Chinese restaurant,

16:03

if you remember that episode. And then it

16:05

kind of just picked up steam and grew

16:07

and grew and grew. And it was a

16:09

juggernaut. But then Larry David, he left out

16:11

after the sixth sixth season of Seinfeld. And

16:13

so seasons, I think it was seven,

16:16

eight and nine, he was not a

16:18

part of and then the very the

16:20

series finale of Seinfeld, Larry David

16:22

came back to write the finale with Jerry

16:24

Seinfeld. It was a fitting way to end

16:27

the show. But that episode

16:29

kind of goes in infamy

16:31

because nobody really truly loved

16:34

the final episode. And the final episode

16:36

was they are on an airplane, the

16:38

plane gets diverted, it almost crashes, they

16:41

land in a small town, all

16:43

four of them make fun of an

16:46

obese man. And it turns out they they're

16:48

breaking some kind of law about making

16:50

fun of somebody in public, and

16:52

they have to go to court and they end

16:55

up getting thrown in jail. So the series ends

16:57

with all four of them having to go to

16:59

jail. But in the course of that trial,

17:01

all the people that they have wrong throughout the

17:03

course of the series, they kind of pop up

17:06

in cameos and to testify against these people. And

17:08

so when I found out that curb

17:10

your enthusiasm this, this season, you

17:13

know, they were talking about election laws and Larry

17:15

passes out a bottle of water accidentally to somebody

17:17

in line for voting and that as

17:19

an actual law that you can't do, I was

17:22

like, Oh, shit, they're gonna they're going to wind up

17:24

at the very end where Larry is going to go

17:26

to jail. And it's going

17:28

to be reminiscent of the Seinfeld finale. And

17:31

I was like, I bet that happened. Now it kind of happened.

17:33

There's a little bit of an update with what they did with

17:35

it, which I thought was excellent. But

17:37

Larry David has just always been one of those people

17:40

know, when I was studying

17:42

about curb your enthusiasm today,

17:44

because I watched the finale like two times because

17:46

it's like some shows are just like comfort food to

17:48

you. I mean, you know, our reality

17:50

shows are like comfort food, but sometimes I'll just have

17:53

it on in the background. And it just makes me

17:55

happy. Even if I'm not fully paying attention, I can

17:57

look up and then Larry's doing his Larry thing. And

17:59

even it's not a fantastic episode, like

18:01

certain episodes of Curb don't hit for

18:04

me, it's still good. Like I'm still

18:06

a fan regardless, you know,

18:08

or sometimes, you know, you guys know, I'll

18:10

do an episode just completely stinks. But you

18:12

know, some of you continue to tune in,

18:14

you're like, Oh, that's a great one. Or

18:16

that's a horrible one. That's just an average

18:18

one. That's how it is with Larry

18:20

David for me. Or that's how it is with like Stern back

18:24

in the day, or even like artists like Beyonce, they'll

18:26

be like certain songs. I'm like, not for me, but

18:28

then there'll be a song that just knocks my socks

18:30

off. Like bodyguard on Cowboy Carter,

18:32

who can't stop listening to that song.

18:35

You guys, I've been to a lot

18:37

of weddings in my day. And I

18:39

love I love weddings, but there is

18:41

so much that goes into it. You

18:43

got the catering, you got the venue,

18:45

the dresses, the DJ, you have so

18:47

much emotion. It is so stressful, even

18:49

to think about for such a beautiful

18:52

event. But that's why Zola helps

18:54

with wedding planning from start to finish,

18:57

and makes every decision easier so you

18:59

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he's just fantastic. So it doesn't matter

21:22

if every episode is just a 10

21:24

out of 10. Because I just like

21:27

him. I just like him. I like what

21:29

he's created. I like that universe

21:31

that he's created. A couple

21:34

funny stories about Larry David and me.

21:37

Even though Larry David would not know who the

21:39

fuck I am, thank God. I was

21:42

thinking about that. You know, it's like, oh, it would be so

21:44

cool to be friends with this celebrity or you know, and I'm

21:46

not like that at all. There is no way

21:49

in hell that I would ever be friends with Larry

21:51

David or that he would even like me. The fact

21:53

that I like Larry David so much is just guaranteed

21:55

why he would hate me. Like you would just I

21:57

mean, you just don't you would never

21:59

want to be friends with somebody that liked you

22:01

so much. You know what I'm saying? He would hate

22:04

me. Adam Duritz, the lead singer of Accounting

22:06

Crows, would hate me. You know, it's like

22:08

people that I completely would lose my mind

22:10

over and I would never be able to

22:12

express in the correct language what they mean

22:14

to me. They would absolutely hate me. He

22:16

would hate me. Beyonce might tolerate me but

22:18

would never respect me. You know, would

22:20

tolerate like, oh, it's very special. You know,

22:23

like, oh, he's obviously, you know, troubled man.

22:26

But like, she might be nice to me

22:28

but would never respect me. And I feel

22:30

like Larry David and people like that would

22:32

never like me and I'm okay with that.

22:34

I'll never work with Larry David and I'm

22:36

okay with that because I can like him

22:38

regardless of injecting myself into it. I'm not

22:40

that much of a narcissist yet. Now, Tom

22:42

Sandoval, I'm sure, would love and probably thinks

22:44

he will work with Larry David at some

22:46

point. So here's my Larry David stories. I

22:48

have a couple. Now, my

22:51

ex one time, he was a big

22:53

Twilight fan, huge Twilight fan, the books,

22:55

the movies, Team Edward, the whole thing

22:57

and she got tickets

22:59

to the premiere. Was

23:01

it New Moon or was it Eclipse? It was one

23:03

of the one of the Twilight things

23:05

and she took me with her. And

23:07

even that she was on the fence with because I used to

23:10

make fun of Twilight really hard. And by the way, I've read

23:12

all the Twilight books. And

23:14

I've recapped all the Twilight movies with Annabelle

23:16

the Sisto if you want to go back into the so

23:19

bad it's good archives and listen to

23:21

those those are unhinged episodes. But

23:24

she took me to this. And we got to

23:26

go to the after party. And I remember we

23:28

saw Larry David with his two daughters, who now

23:30

one of those daughters turns out as Cassie David,

23:32

but they were like young is the time, you

23:34

know. And you could tell

23:37

Larry did not want to be there.

23:39

But was like there because his daughters probably

23:42

love Twilight. So like, I remember just like

23:44

us trying to like follow Larry. I mean,

23:46

from a safe distance, we weren't creepy about

23:48

it. But we would just be like, let's

23:50

go find Larry David. Let's go find Larry

23:52

David. And I remember just being blown away

23:54

that I was in the same vicinity as

23:56

Larry David. Now, the second story is way

23:58

better than that. is,

24:01

so my, one of my friends

24:03

from acting class back in the

24:05

day, she dated Larry David

24:07

for a while. And

24:09

she's amazing, really fabulous

24:12

actor, and age

24:15

appropriate too. And so don't you

24:17

know, it wasn't some young chippy, so don't think

24:19

that but it was great. But I remember her

24:23

being a little nervous because just

24:25

of their interactions over text and

24:27

email. And Larry

24:29

obviously a really smart guy, he loved

24:31

old films, all of these things. So

24:33

there were a couple of times where

24:35

I helped this girl,

24:38

this lady, in

24:40

her dialogue with Larry David of like, Oh,

24:42

I would pitch her jokes to use. And

24:45

it would, you know, and in some of them and

24:47

one of the best compliments of my life was I

24:49

remember, I forgot what it

24:52

was. Because we were also in like an American Idol

24:54

pool at the time. So like, there's a lot of

24:56

emails going back and forth with this group. But I

24:58

was like given her jokes to use on Larry. And

25:01

I remember her. I

25:04

remember one time we'd done it a couple of times at

25:06

work. And I remember one time

25:08

she was just like, Oh, my God, Larry

25:11

loved the joke that you

25:13

that you gave me, you know, and I was

25:15

like, No way, Larry thought something that

25:17

he didn't know was me but still thought something that

25:19

I said was potentially funny. It meant the world to

25:21

me. Now when I think back to is like he

25:23

might have just been saying it was funny just because

25:25

he thought it was the girl that he liked saying

25:28

it. So he's gonna anyways, that's not the but

25:30

then one day she was like, Oh, my God, you got

25:32

to call me and I was like, What? She's like, we

25:34

blew it. And I was like, What? And

25:37

I guess I had

25:39

given her something to write. She wrote it.

25:41

He liked it. And then she went to

25:44

write me. Oh, my God,

25:46

he completely thought that was hysterical

25:49

about whatever joke it was. And

25:52

she had written Larry, not me. And

25:54

Larry not being an idiot immediately goes,

25:58

Were you writing somebody about me

26:00

like knew that it was

26:02

like a blackie who he's napping. It was

26:04

like, and it didn't blow up, but it

26:06

was like, Oh, shit. I was like, No,

26:08

and I was like, never give this man

26:10

my name. But then they still dated

26:13

for a while after that. But I remember

26:15

I did get to meet Larry once because

26:17

she bites. I've told this story before. She

26:19

brought him to one of our actor parties.

26:24

And I remember we it

26:26

was like at a group conversation. And

26:28

I remember telling Amy was like,

26:30

Oh, sorry, the girl was like, Oh, tell

26:33

the story about this. And I told it it was something about

26:35

me being insecure, like one of my normal bits.

26:38

And I remember Larry just going

26:40

like, Why would you be scared? Why that's dumb?

26:42

Why would you be scared? Like just like, why?

26:44

Who cares? Who cares? It was a very Larry

26:46

David. But it was one of those things. And

26:48

I remember at that party, I've said this before,

26:50

he in the middle of the party, he just

26:53

went into the other room and turned on the

26:55

Lakers game by himself. Like just just watch the

26:57

Lakers game by himself. And nobody approached him. You

26:59

know, we didn't know him enough. I wasn't gonna

27:01

be like, Can I watch the game with you,

27:03

sir? It was wild. It was just but also

27:05

with the sterile how Larry David is that the

27:07

last story I have none of these are fabulous,

27:09

but they're fantastic to me that I got to

27:11

have these experiences. I went to

27:13

see Steve Martin and Martin

27:16

Short do a show at the Hollywood

27:18

Bowl. And

27:20

with like the orchestra the

27:22

whole bit and had really

27:24

good seats. And I remember

27:27

we had like a not we had

27:29

like a box actually. And like

27:32

two rows of boxes over

27:34

like right in our eye line. It

27:37

was Larry David. And

27:39

I think Larry David is married now Larry David, I

27:41

think it was probably his wife, Albert

27:44

Brooks. And I

27:46

think his wife, and Rob

27:48

Reiner, the director, and his

27:50

wife all at one table. I

27:52

absolutely love Albert Brooks as well. Oh

27:55

my god. So I was just losing

27:57

my mind. All of these guys were

28:00

sitting at one place about to watch Steve

28:02

Martin and Martin short. I

28:04

just couldn't believe it. I was just my heart

28:06

was doing flip flops. And this

28:09

is very so you know, they sing

28:12

the the national anthem,

28:14

right? And they do this

28:16

thing at the bowl where it'll be like, please

28:18

stand up if you are an active member

28:21

of the armed forces, you

28:23

know, and people stood

28:25

up and Larry stood up. And he

28:27

was like, he was doing a bit. He Larry

28:29

stood up and I was like, Oh, that's pretty

28:31

kind of funny. Little disrespect, a little kind of

28:33

funny. And then it was like, please stand up

28:35

if you are a member of the naval forces.

28:38

And Larry David stood up again. And then it

28:40

was like, please stand up here. We're a member

28:42

of the Air Force. And Larry David stood up

28:45

again. And the joke at that point was not

28:47

working at all. And it still was like before

28:49

it was dark. So it was still light. And

28:51

I was like, it's pretty kind of a

28:53

lame joke. And I loved that like Larry

28:55

David, he just it

28:58

sums up comedians to me perfectly is that

29:00

they'll see the bit of commit to the

29:02

bit. They'll do the joke. They'll run it

29:04

into the ground. Even if it doesn't work.

29:06

He was committing. And I was like, this

29:08

is wild. There's like 15,000 people here. He

29:11

keeps standing up in full view of actual

29:13

people that have served in the armed forces.

29:15

And he keeps doing this. And I was

29:17

like, that's so Larry David, just so Larry

29:19

David. And I think there's

29:21

that thing of you

29:24

know, when you love, I don't know, when somebody means something to

29:26

you, I just remember, I would laugh

29:28

at something Steve Martin or Martin short did. And then

29:30

I would look at Larry to see if he's laughing.

29:32

And then a couple times, we laughed at the same

29:34

spot. And I realized, wow, I'm really

29:36

creepy. This is really it's stalkerish behavior.

29:41

But anyways, I sorry to go

29:43

off on this. I just wanted to talk to

29:45

the Curb your enthusiasm it premiered guys, in 2020

29:47

2000, in the year 2000. That was when the

29:51

first Curb your enthusiasm started on HBO.

29:53

It's been 24 years, 12

29:55

seasons in 24 years, they would take huge long

29:57

breaks in between seasons, because he didn't have to

29:59

do it. But his estimated worth is like

30:01

$400 million from Seinfeld

30:03

alone. But then he would think about

30:05

an idea, and Curb Your Enthusiasm is interesting because it'll be

30:07

like, he'll have the plot

30:10

line written, but it's a lot of

30:12

improv. It's a lot of like, oh, this is what

30:14

it is, this is where we want you to get to, we

30:16

want you to save this line, but it's not scripted out

30:19

like an episode of Seinfeld used to be. And

30:21

I one time talked with one of the

30:23

editors of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which I got

30:25

to audition for a couple of times, never

30:27

got it. It

30:30

was one time I was close, and that would have just been,

30:32

oh man, that would have been amazing, but didn't happen. But

30:37

they would say, oh my God, we have like

30:39

an hour of unused material for each episode. Like

30:41

we have to cut these things down. So many

30:43

good things never made it to the show because

30:45

it would just be improv, and they had like

30:47

the best people working on it. But

30:49

yeah, 24 years, and it's so weird. I keep

30:51

thinking about, I talk about this all the time

30:53

about getting older and what a weird experience it

30:55

is. You know, I was like, oh, Curb Your Enthusiasm,

30:58

that's been on like eight or nine years now. I was

31:00

like, no, it's been on 24 years. But

31:03

I thought it was so great because the

31:05

finale also made fun of Seinfeld so much.

31:07

Jerry Seinfeld actually came back and was a

31:09

part of it. But also just in terms

31:11

of like comedy structure, in

31:13

terms of sitcom writing, is

31:16

that JB Smoove, who lives

31:18

with Larry on the show, it's

31:20

him, Susie Essman, and Jeff Garland, who

31:22

plays his agent, and Susie Essman's Jeff

31:24

Garland's wife in it. And

31:26

it was all four of them sitting at a table at

31:30

this Atlanta restaurant. And JB Smoove is

31:32

watching Seinfeld for this first time. He's

31:34

like, Larry, oh my God. He's like,

31:36

Larry, that Kramer guy, oh my God.

31:38

He just walks into Jerry's apartment. He

31:40

should put saloon doors. That's ridiculous. And

31:43

it's so funny because JB Smoove in it, like pretty much

31:46

lives with Larry without ever really having

31:48

asked permission to do it. He's

31:51

the Kramer character. And it was so

31:53

great. These four people having this conversation.

31:55

When you're thinking of like, in

31:57

terms of character archetypes, it's Seinfeld all over again.

32:00

Larry's the Jerry character, JB

32:02

Smooth is the Kramer character, Jeff Garland

32:05

is kind of the George character, and

32:07

Susie Essman is kind of the Elaine

32:09

character. It's a comedy that is all

32:11

like certain building blocks.

32:14

It's usually the same building blocks in

32:16

just different formations, and people bring different

32:18

kind of different

32:20

little bits of their own magic. So

32:23

it was extremely meta

32:25

final episode, but I think it

32:27

works. And I just think

32:30

I just like Larry David so much because he

32:33

doesn't need to do any of this shit. It's

32:35

like what we talked about with housewives. I think

32:37

sometimes the perfect housewife is a housewife that doesn't

32:40

need the show that has their own money that

32:42

will be okay if they don't make it to

32:44

another season. Those are the best because then they

32:46

can actually just be themselves. They don't give a

32:48

fuck. And I think that's sometimes so refreshing in

32:50

this day and age, because

32:53

everybody wants attention so bad, everybody feels

32:55

like they need it. I

32:57

always think about influencer culture and creator

32:59

culture. It's like, sometimes

33:01

it's so frustrating to see other fellow

33:03

creators because it's like, you

33:05

don't really even seem to have anything that you want

33:08

to share, you just want to be popular,

33:10

you just want to make money, you just want to,

33:12

you just want to be a part of this, you

33:14

don't really have anything, you don't have like your own

33:16

voice yet. And it's not to say that they won't

33:18

get it. But that's why I love somebody like Larry

33:20

David. That's like, this is me for better or worse.

33:23

You can hate me. And a lot of people do hate him.

33:25

You can love me and a lot of people do. But it

33:27

doesn't matter at the end of the day. And

33:30

I think

33:33

there's so much freedom in that. And I

33:35

think there is so much comedic value

33:37

you can mine from that kind of

33:39

persona, which he has. And I think those

33:41

are the voices that I am always

33:43

drawn to, is something unique, something

33:46

quirky, something that is not kiss ass in

33:48

any sort of way. You can all even,

33:50

all of the tendency is to be kiss

33:52

ass or I want to be liked or

33:54

I want to be that. And it's so

33:56

refreshing to see people that don't care, that

33:58

don't sit there and- and their neuroses

34:01

are about something completely different than

34:03

wanting to be loved or liked.

34:06

And so a tip of the hat to Larry David.

34:09

I'm sure he'll go on to do other things,

34:11

even though he will not need to do anything

34:13

for the rest of his life. But man, I'm

34:15

so lucky to live in a time period where

34:17

I was able to watch two

34:20

great Larry David projects being Seinfeld

34:22

and Curb Your Enthusiasm. And

34:24

I tell you, Seinfeld is still my

34:26

go-to-bed show. Wow, like I said last

34:29

week, or maybe it was on the Patreon, I'll put my

34:31

AirPods in and I'll put Netflix

34:33

on my phone and I'll just listen to Seinfeld

34:35

episodes. There's something about the rhythm and

34:37

there's something about those four distinct characters that

34:40

you just fall in love with. It's very, it's soothing.

34:42

It's like a noise machine for me. So Larry

34:45

David, thank you so much. And now we're

34:47

gonna talk about something equally as impressive, The

34:49

Valley. Let's take a

34:51

trip to The Valley, where

34:53

it's hot, hot, hot. We

34:56

got Jackson Saloon. We got

34:58

Dodie hooking up with the

35:00

man Luke. We've got Janet and

35:02

Jason about to have a baby.

35:04

We got Brittany trying to move

35:07

out from crazy. Jax,

35:10

that's just a song I just made up. Can you even

35:12

believe it? That just came straight from the dome. This

35:15

episode, episode three is called

35:17

Doubting Dodie. What a great

35:19

title name, Doubting Dodie. Doubting

35:21

Dodie. Doubting Dodie. A

35:24

dramatic interpretation of Doubting

35:27

Dodie. Now this is the description

35:29

the cable company gives us. Everyone,

35:32

sorry, we're episode

35:35

three. Episode two,

35:37

you guys, the whole crux of

35:39

it was surrounded over

35:43

pinching a nipple of, to use a, get

35:45

the kids out of the room before I

35:47

say this. Kitty twisters.

35:49

Yeah, it all was like, you

35:52

gave a titty twister to Dodie. Not on

35:54

my watch. Luke was a real man and

35:56

stood up for, I would not

35:58

cross Luke. Luke is. quiet but deadly.

36:01

This man is a lumberjack in Colorado.

36:03

I didn't even think Colorado had that

36:05

many woods. This man has 70 acres.

36:07

He is a lumberjack woodsman. And

36:10

that the whole episode two was about

36:13

these titty twisters. Episode three, we go

36:15

to a we go from titty twisters

36:17

to the race. We're

36:19

talking about this is intense.

36:21

This show is gotten. Episode

36:24

two was about pinching nipples. Episode

36:26

three is like race in America.

36:28

Like I'm like, Oh, my

36:31

God, can this show handle this conversation?

36:33

Like at the very end out of

36:35

nowhere, we bring up Christian Dodie's past.

36:37

And I was like, Holy shit, this

36:39

feels like an episode six plot line.

36:41

We're doing okay. Let's buckle up. Let's

36:43

go into Episode three. Let's do this.

36:45

This is I

36:49

just did not expect it. Episode three. Everyone

36:52

turns against Kristen for the

36:54

accusations. She hurled at Michelle during

36:56

girls night. Now

36:58

the hurling against Michelle lally was

37:00

that it was

37:03

a game of telephone she had

37:05

heard from Zach who had allegedly

37:07

heard it from Janet Elizabeth Janet

37:09

Caperna that Michelle lally

37:12

was Republican and racist. The

37:14

two Rs. Those are hard

37:16

our words, Republican and

37:18

racist. Those were the accusations that

37:21

they were fighting about something completely different. And then

37:23

Kristen out of nowhere at the very end of

37:25

Episode two was like, well, you're a racist

37:27

and you're a Republican. And we didn't really

37:30

actually get to fully see that we it

37:32

was like weird the editing and then even

37:34

how they pick up this week's episode, we

37:36

only see clips and I'm like, why are we why

37:39

are you just showing us clips of that night?

37:41

Show us the full effing thing. You had a

37:43

camera crew there. Why are we why are

37:46

we playing fast and loose with

37:48

this? Show us the scenes. I

37:50

don't need to see it edited together

37:52

with Brittany and Jax walking having a

37:54

lemonade talking about where you can't believe

37:56

what happened. I have not Christian says

37:58

racist and Republican. And Jackson's like that's

38:01

not gonna stand brother. That is not gonna stand

38:03

not on my watch not in Jackson's

38:05

Valley But yeah, that's the description

38:07

now just to catch you up on characters since

38:10

we are only three episodes in you

38:12

got Jackson Britney They're together. They have

38:14

their son Cruz now Jackson Britney

38:16

together at this moment But we know now

38:18

Britney has moved out of the marital home.

38:21

They are currently separated They are

38:23

still doing their podcast and endorsements

38:25

and all that stuff so

38:28

that's Wild but that's

38:30

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38:32

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38:36

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38:38

her friend's wedding and on

38:40

the first night they had sex behind a tent That's

38:44

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39:47

and then you have Janet and Jason Caperna This

39:51

Jason Caperna, I gotta tell you Don't

39:53

like him because of his abs But I

39:55

really do like him because on the Vanderpump

39:58

Rules after show last week we talked about about

40:00

this was that Jason said something that

40:02

I thought was brilliant in regards to Tom

40:04

Sandoval was like, why would

40:06

I want to be friends with this man if

40:08

this is how he treats somebody that he

40:11

says he's loved for nine years? If he does this

40:13

Ariana, why would I want to invest in a friendship

40:15

where he's done that to somebody that he says he

40:17

loved, then why would I want to continue to invest

40:19

in a person like that? I thought

40:21

it was the most logical way of putting

40:24

something. And I was like, damn that

40:26

Jason Caperna, that that's one to watch. And

40:28

I made a joke that I said how many

40:30

men of the Vanderpump Rules in the Valley cast

40:32

look directly at the sun during the eclipse today.

40:34

And I got to tell you, I met every

40:37

man except for Jason Caperna, and maybe

40:39

Daniel book. Oh, Daniel book. Oh, is another cast

40:41

member on the Valley. Now

40:43

Daniel is married to meet Nia. And Nia

40:45

is a beauty queen. And they seem like

40:47

a really nice couple as well. And he

40:49

is the one that remember, Jack's pants, her

40:51

husband Daniel in the first episode, and we

40:54

saw his dingaling, you know, with all the

40:56

kids around, we didn't get to see it,

40:58

but it was from the back. Also, watching

41:01

back that episode, he is wearing a

41:04

shirt that like goes down to his knees. So

41:06

I was like, was this was this pantsing almost

41:08

planned? Because like, who wears a shirt that

41:10

goes down that far? If you

41:12

pants somebody, the guy literally was wearing a shirt

41:15

that went down to the gravel made no sense

41:17

at all. But regardless, me was very upset about

41:19

this. And Brittany was like, that's just the

41:21

actually just made boys being boys. Saturdays are

41:23

for the boys. I can't believe it. Oh,

41:26

Jack's come in. Apologize to Nia. Oh,

41:29

sorry, I can't believe I'm just an idiot.

41:31

I'm just I'm just a shit for brains.

41:33

I'm so sorry. It's me. It's just Jack's.

41:35

He just got jacks. So you have them

41:37

then you have Michelle and Jason lally. And

41:40

this Jason lally, like I've said, he is

41:42

competing with Jack's for like douchebag of the

41:44

show. Like Jack's is literally in awe

41:46

of this Jesse lally, because he was like, I

41:49

didn't know you could be this kind of douchebag like

41:51

this. I mean, Jack's is

41:53

like getting showed up in the douchebag

41:55

area. Department by Jason lally. So you

41:58

have Jason, Michelle lally, they obviously They

42:00

have a child but you can tell from

42:02

the first episode that they seem like they

42:04

have a white hot burning hatred For each

42:06

other so that's what I was talking about

42:09

the first episode You can see all these

42:11

cracks starting to form and now they are

42:13

separated even though Somebody

42:15

told me that they separated right before the

42:17

premiere of the first episode, but now they're back

42:19

together Somebody told me that I

42:22

don't know if that's true. It might have come out

42:24

on one of their podcasts Everybody has a podcast on

42:27

Vanderpump Rules in the Valley So it's hard

42:29

to keep up with all of the information that are flying I'll

42:31

try to keep you updated as much as I can folks, but

42:34

I'm only one man and I

42:36

barely have two working eyes right now so

42:39

Allegedly they're back together. Also. I wanted to

42:41

say something about Janet and Jason really love them

42:43

But like I was thinking about this in terms

42:45

of Chaotic and neutral

42:47

like there's certain character archetypes, you

42:49

know neutral character is just a

42:52

good character that Can

42:54

think clearly can speak clearly is

42:56

not Insane funny,

42:59

but just like neutral just neutral they

43:01

can go any which way they're loosey-goosey

43:03

And they usually make a lot of

43:05

sense and I think Jason and Janet

43:07

are neutral and then you have Chaotic

43:09

neutral and chaotic neutral I would

43:11

put in like Kristen Dody Things

43:14

like that and then you have Chaotic

43:16

evil and I would put Jack's

43:19

in that care category chaotic Neutral

43:21

also potentially Brittany the chaotic I

43:23

think stems from Jack's But I

43:26

don't think of Brittany as evil

43:28

Jack's has a lot of evil

43:30

tendencies or his quote-unquote Character of

43:32

Jack's on these shows has a

43:34

lot of evil tendencies, but Kristen

43:36

is Chaotic neutral she's

43:39

chaotic neutral where she will fuck

43:41

shit up. It's just within her

43:43

There is something in her that

43:45

she will always just She

43:48

won't say her her mouth will move

43:50

before her mind Thinks about

43:53

if she should do it or not and

43:55

that's a necessary character that you want in

43:57

reality television Because they are not

43:59

thinking about keeping secrets. They

44:01

are not thinking about what a normal person would

44:03

think of like, Oh, I don't want to look

44:05

bad. Or I don't want to make my friend

44:08

who told me this look bad. They're not they

44:10

could push in a corner. All the secrets come

44:12

out, all the secrets come out. They just spill,

44:14

spill, spill. Christian Dodie probably has enough secrets within

44:16

her to fuel seven more seasons

44:18

of the valley period. Like I was thinking about

44:20

that this week. I was like, man, she's got

44:23

so many secrets locked up in there. And that's

44:25

why I think and I know the cast members

44:27

are gonna hate this. Any

44:31

of the producers if you're listening right now,

44:34

let's talk over here. Come on, come on. Okay. This

44:38

is gonna be tough. You

44:40

got to stop you can't let them do the podcast

44:43

any of them. You got to cut

44:45

all of them off even lala you got to you

44:47

say it's the podcast or the show you got to

44:50

or you start your own podcast

44:52

network. And you make it a

44:54

part of your network. So you can control

44:56

the information. There is too

44:58

much information. We want to keep every

45:01

secret that Dodie has. We

45:03

want to keep that where we can use

45:05

it on the show. We don't want her

45:07

to spill it off on the podcast at

45:09

some point just randomly. And then only like

45:11

a third of the audience that actually watches

45:13

the valley even hears that you don't want

45:15

to do that. I mean, and that's really

45:17

what they've set them. It's like a bad

45:19

precedent. It's almost like when like Napster started

45:21

back in the day with streaming music. It

45:23

was all of a sudden like, wait, I

45:25

can just take the album I want online.

45:27

I can just get LimeWire and just burn

45:29

a whole album without buying it. Okay, that

45:32

sounds that sounds good. I mean, I'll tell everybody

45:34

it sounds horrible, but secretly I want to do that.

45:36

But you want to be able to control it. You're

45:38

just it's too much

45:40

information getting out there without control. And pretty

45:42

soon you are diluting the power of the

45:44

actual show. I think about this with Vanderpump

45:46

Rules all the time, but especially on a

45:48

show like the Valley, where you want to

45:50

keep as much information on the show as

45:52

possible and not have all the podcasts reveal

45:54

what happened six months after the show wrapped

45:57

up filming. We want to be able to

45:59

keep those things so that you constantly

46:01

need new episodes. Am I crazy? Like I

46:03

feel like I might be crazy and this

46:05

is like a dumb thought,

46:07

but like it makes so much sense to me. Like

46:10

we've now created all of these things and

46:12

I would really be curious what these podcasts

46:14

make. You know, I mean,

46:16

Lala, I mean, Lala's must make like a

46:19

billion dollars because she reveals way too much

46:21

and really puts herself so

46:23

at risk by saying like doubling and tripling down

46:25

on some of the dumbest comments I've ever heard,

46:27

but she sent it with her whole chest. So

46:30

you're like, well, I mean, she

46:32

seems like she believes it. I guess I should take

46:34

it as gospel, which by the way, today you guys,

46:37

this sounds like a joke that I'm about

46:39

to say, but it's not, Lala is revealing

46:41

her baby's name on an Amazon live. Yeah,

46:44

she advertised, that's not a joke. She

46:46

advertised she will be revealing her baby's

46:48

name on an Amazon live. Now I

46:50

wish we could reveal it on so

46:52

bad it's good. And that way I

46:54

could reveal two babies names before they

46:56

were ready to go to market because

46:58

Sheena always accused me of revealing

47:01

Summer Moon's name back in the

47:03

day. And that's why Sheena did

47:05

not like me at first, which we've

47:07

now come to a truce. But

47:10

it was, I mean, horrible

47:12

time of my life when she thought I was the

47:14

one that revealed that. God,

47:17

that was gross. This is so sad. By

47:19

the way, folks, if you're listening or realize,

47:22

I realize how sad I am. I realize

47:24

that. You don't need to tell me, I

47:26

don't need emails. I realize it's a very

47:28

sad life. I get that. Okay, moving on.

47:32

But I just get nervous, too

47:34

much information. And like,

47:36

revealing the baby name on an Amazon live, what

47:38

do you get for that? Like how much money

47:40

does Lala just get, like Amazon Prime for life?

47:43

I just feel like what you just literally

47:47

was like ranting or raving about the opportunities that

47:49

Ariana gets. And then all of a sudden you're

47:51

doing, you're selling

47:53

your baby's name on an Amazon live? I

47:56

hope you're getting top dollar for that. But I

47:58

didn't worry about all of the podcasts. and I

48:00

get worried about it with the Valley as well. I

48:03

think interviews are fine, but you've got to

48:05

really keep that shit tight because

48:07

you don't want, I don't know. It's

48:10

a lot for these production companies, I imagine,

48:13

to keep track of what information is revealed

48:15

where, because these people are all holding secrets.

48:17

I mean, Schwartz kept that secret of making

48:19

out with Sheena in Vegas for like 11

48:21

years. I

48:23

mean, how many secrets are we

48:26

holding still? I'm still telling you,

48:28

I think Schwartz and Lala has made out at some point.

48:30

I really do, or they're gonna make out in the future.

48:32

I have a very sick sense, but we'll talk

48:34

about that on Vanderpump Rules Thursday. Okay,

48:38

it's good to talk to you guys. I needed

48:40

this. I needed to exercise these demons after a

48:43

bunch of days in Ohio dealing with grandma

48:45

stuff. So thanks for being here. Okay, so

48:47

that's the 43 minutes in. That's

48:50

the title of the episode. Let's get

48:52

going. I have to keep taking

48:54

breaks because my eyes are dilated so

48:56

it's hard to stare at the stupid

48:59

computer screen. Anyways, okay, so we open

49:01

up season one, episode

49:03

three of The Valley. And

49:05

I gotta tell you, the music of

49:07

The Valley, it is like what in

49:09

the easy listening hell do we have

49:11

here? Literally this song is straight out

49:13

of like K jazz. It's like, what

49:15

is like, I'll show

49:17

you what I wanna do. We're

49:20

dancing in the daylight. We can

49:22

do it all night. And

49:24

then Jax is like, hey, hey, hey, you

49:26

wanna get some lemonade, babe? Because

49:28

they're at a farmer's market in The Valley. They're pushing

49:30

around crews. He's like, hey, we gotta get some lemonade

49:32

on a hot day in the Valley. He's like, that

49:35

sounds good. I'd like some too, Jax. And

49:38

so they're just walking around, this easy listening that's

49:40

playing in the background. They

49:42

get two big old lemonades and we

49:44

see that Sherry, Brittany's mom, is

49:47

there and it's $24 for three

49:49

lemonades. And Brittany's like, we

49:51

ain't in Kentucky no more, mama. She's like,

49:53

I guess not, Brittany. I guess not. We

49:56

are not. And Cruz

49:58

is just like passed out or he's. pretending to

50:00

sleep. He could tell he's like, I don't know.

50:02

I do not like these cameras. I do not

50:04

approve of my parents doing this. I was told

50:07

when I came into this world, we were done

50:09

with reality television. Cruz is a

50:11

little man. I like Cruz. Cruz is

50:13

a good kid, you can tell. So

50:15

Brittany's like, Mom, take him for a

50:17

little bit while I have a conversation

50:19

about the past episode with Jax. How

50:21

did last night go Jax? And Jax

50:23

is like, um, well, pretty

50:25

f'ed up, Brittany, I gotta tell you.

50:28

So I told you I invited Alex, Dodie's ex. I talked

50:30

to Luke when he got there and Luke was like, why

50:32

would I give this guy a second chance? Why would I

50:35

want to be friends with the ex of my girlfriends? Which

50:38

is like, no shit. We all knew that

50:40

Luke would say that any normal living person

50:42

would say that and Jax knows that as

50:44

well. But Jax is like, you're about to

50:46

get Jax, Luke. Yeah, Luke. Hey, let me

50:49

introduce myself. My name is Jax Taylor. You

50:51

are about to feel the force of Jax

50:53

Taylor. I will invite Kristen's

50:55

ex in here, Alex. I

50:57

mean, that was ridiculous. And I'm so mad that we

50:59

didn't get to see more from that night. Like

51:02

last week's episode ended with that

51:04

and ended with Dodie saying

51:06

that Michelle Ali was a racist and a Republican

51:08

and we didn't really get to see those things

51:10

happen. We just get to hear about it. And

51:13

it's always like, show us don't tell us. So

51:15

we're playing that catch up game and Brittany's like,

51:17

well, that sounds crazy. Let me tell you about

51:19

my night Kristen said, Kristen

51:21

said, you're talking to Jasmine and Zach. Yeah,

51:23

that's what's going on over there. I feel

51:25

I was in the

51:35

middle, Jack. I'm trying to take up for you.

51:37

And it blew up. And Kristen was like, Are you fucking

51:39

kidding me? I don't want my ex boyfriends around me or

51:41

my fucking family. What is so difficult

51:44

for everyone to fucking understand? Dodie

51:46

said, like it turned into a whole thing. Jax, Jax

51:48

being a malicious

51:50

Kristen said, and I said, Are

51:53

you not stirring shit up? Come on, Kristen. Kristen started

51:55

bringing up that J and I

51:57

was like, I'm not doing that. told

52:00

Jasmine Michelle was racist and Republican

52:02

and all this crap. And

52:05

we flashback to Dodie going, what am I stirring

52:07

up? The truth that Janet told you Michelle is

52:09

like probably a Republican, so she's probably racist. This

52:12

is the shit that Janet was saying, Kristen says, and Jasmine

52:14

is like, I swear to God, look at me, Jasmine

52:17

says, you are not fucking saying that Janet

52:19

told me that she was racist. And Kristen's

52:21

like, what are you gonna do? What

52:23

are you gonna do? Right? Kristen's

52:25

like, I've been here 30 million times in

52:27

my past. Kristen is so

52:29

used to this shit. She's like, I would slap

52:32

my Stasi on an episode. You think anybody getting

52:34

in my face, it's coming down

52:36

on what I saw. You think this even

52:38

raises my pulse at all? Give me a

52:40

break. Like, welcome to the Valley. I've been

52:42

here many, many seasons. And

52:45

Chris is like, this is what Zach

52:47

told me, you guys. And

52:49

Zach, we see a flashback of Zach Wickham, who

52:51

by the way, his hair, if you watch it

52:54

throughout this episode, it gets lower and

52:56

lower. I think it eventually is gonna

52:58

cover his eyes, because it's like this

53:00

hair helmet. Somebody

53:03

compared it to like a Lego hair piece last week.

53:05

And I thought that was amazing. But I just feel

53:07

like it gets lower and lower. And eventually, it's gonna

53:09

cover his whole face. But anyways, we see Zach in

53:11

like a clip from like a scene that we didn't

53:14

see. He's like, I never said

53:16

that. I never said

53:18

that. He's very passionate. And

53:20

I'm like, I love this. But like, let me

53:22

see the actual scene without you editing it

53:25

together. I never

53:27

said that. So

53:31

I love, I love this. It's just action

53:33

right out of the gate. So

53:35

Zach's like, listen, that's not gonna fly. I'm

53:37

wondering how today Michelle is gonna go after

53:40

she brought that up at home about her

53:42

when she told Jesse, I wonder how that

53:44

goes. I love that. Jackson's

53:46

like, that's not gonna fly. Not on

53:48

my show. Not on the Valley. That's not gonna

53:50

fly. The funny thing is I've had

53:52

Jackson's. I've had

53:54

half of this cast of Republicans. So

53:56

I love everybody getting up in arms

53:59

about the Republicans. like,

54:03

get this, Michelle's a libertarian,

54:06

Michelle's voting for RFK. Oh my

54:09

God, we're going into an election season. We don't even

54:11

get the Valley theme song. We

54:13

just have the thing that pops up

54:15

going, bravos, the Valley in blue lettering.

54:19

I feel like that's a mistake as well. You got to

54:21

hit us with that theme song to get us used to

54:23

it, or just get a better theme song. I

54:26

feel like the Valley theme song

54:28

isn't hitting, and I want something

54:30

that people can remember. I want a raise

54:32

your glass like we have with Vanderpump Rules.

54:34

We probably will never get that, and that

54:36

is very sad. Worried

54:39

about letting someone else pick out the perfect

54:41

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54:43

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54:46

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54:48

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54:52

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54:54

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54:56

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$1 down. Deal ends Friday, April

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12th. Anyway, we

56:10

open up and we

56:13

are in Jesse and Michelle Alley's place.

56:15

Remember, they don't live in the valley.

56:17

They live by Chateau Marmont right over

56:20

the hill. So Jesse thinks he's automatically

56:22

better than everybody that lives in the

56:24

valley because of his place. So Michelle,

56:26

they're in the kitchen and Michelle looks

56:28

just shell-shocked about these accusations of being

56:30

a double R, Republican and racist. And

56:33

Michelle is relating to Jesse. He's like, it

56:35

is the first time in my life I've

56:37

ever heard my name associated with these words.

56:40

And she said, Janet said,

56:43

Michelle is a racist

56:45

and a Republican. And

56:48

Jason's like, she said a racist and a Republican? Yeah,

56:50

I'm still shocked to be honest with you. I'm completely

56:53

shocked. What the fuck is wrong with her, Jason

56:55

says. And then we see Isabella,

56:57

three years old, is in the kitchen area

56:59

with them while their dad just keeps like

57:01

slurring out the F word like it's like

57:04

an 80s deaf comedy jam. Like Isabella's like,

57:06

fuck yeah, daddy. And

57:08

it's like, oh shit, I'm sorry,

57:10

Isabella. Don't we cannot say those words,

57:12

Isabella. Do you? You know, and Isabella's

57:14

like, don't say that, daddy. And

57:18

Michelle's like, stop saying that word. I'm

57:20

sorry, Michelle. It's in my vocabulary. She's

57:22

going to start saying that. He's like,

57:24

we don't say that, do we Isabella?

57:27

When you say it, it's funny. When I say

57:29

it, it's wrong. So Michelle's

57:31

like, I'm really upset because Janet wouldn't say that

57:34

or she wouldn't be my friend. And

57:36

hello, I'm the one that's the

57:38

first generation Mexican, first

57:40

generation Persian. I was just so

57:42

shocked and confused by the whole

57:44

thing. Well, you should

57:47

call Janet and be like, did you fucking

57:49

say this? And she's like, okay. And then

57:51

FaceTime's Janet right there. FaceTime, which by the

57:53

way, this is just so funny in so

57:55

many ways because welcome

57:58

to reality television. Like you, hey. Get

58:00

ready. You think it's bad to be

58:02

called a racist and Republican. Wait till

58:04

you get in something where your husband's

58:06

cheating on you with one of your

58:08

cast members. Like you, like this is

58:10

what, this is not like a kumbaya

58:12

show. This is a, we're potentially going

58:14

to ruin your life and the life

58:16

of your children. And if you need

58:18

a historical context, let me

58:21

show you seasons 1 through 11 of Vanderpump

58:23

Rules. Like that's what I love anybody signing

58:25

up for this going like, Well, this

58:28

will be a fun little gig. No, it's

58:30

not survivor. Like this is like survivor, but

58:32

with your life, this isn't, we'll

58:34

send you for an island and like have like fun

58:36

challenges where you throw out your knee. No, we're going

58:38

to ruin your family. So

58:42

they call Janet on FaceTime.

58:44

Janet remember is like fully

58:46

pregnant and she doesn't need

58:48

this stress either. Janet

58:50

picks right up on FaceTime like, hey girl, what's

58:52

going on? Remember Janet couldn't be at the party

58:55

because she wasn't feeling well. And

58:57

Michelle's like, I have a super important question

58:59

for you and I want you to be

59:01

completely honest about it. Okay. She's like,

59:03

you got it. Yeah. Kristen said that you

59:05

think or you said that

59:08

I'm racist and a Republican and

59:11

Janet's like, Zoinks, what

59:14

are you kidding me? Okay. That's complete

59:17

bullshit to throw around a huge accusation

59:19

like that. I need to have a

59:21

conversation with Kristen because that makes me

59:23

like furious with her. Like that word

59:25

in your name has never come out of

59:28

my mouth in the same sentence in a talking head.

59:30

Janet says, Kristen and I have been close for years

59:32

and about a year ago, I had to put up

59:34

a boundary with Kristen because her relationship with Alex, her

59:36

ex-boyfriend was so up and down and back and forth

59:39

that it was making my head spin. And

59:41

as soon as I put up a boundary with Kristen,

59:43

she didn't like that. And it feels

59:45

like anytime she has the opportunity

59:47

to throw me under the bus, she

59:49

does. Now, that's exactly what I'm

59:52

talking about. That's what I think this show works

59:54

is because we do have real relationships that have

59:56

been going on for years. Janet

59:58

has known Dodie for years. They have

1:00:00

this whole relationship. But this is also what I'm

1:00:02

talking about. Janet's not dumb. Janet

1:00:04

knows where the bodies are buried, but Janet is

1:00:07

neutral where she will do things for the

1:00:09

benefit of her mental health and say, you're

1:00:12

a little too crazy Christian for me right

1:00:14

now. I gotta back off of this relationship

1:00:16

with you. And I think that

1:00:19

I would not, Christian, like I

1:00:21

would not mess with, because Christian will get right

1:00:23

up in your face and potentially like throw

1:00:26

a sledgehammer at you. Janet,

1:00:28

she works behind the scenes. Janet,

1:00:31

I would not fuck with either. She works behind

1:00:33

the scenes. Janet has, I think Janet's

1:00:35

kind of brilliant in a way. And I

1:00:37

think that'll probably come out more and more

1:00:40

as, and by the way, she's, like I

1:00:42

said, fully pregnant. So you gotta imagine the

1:00:44

hormones are off the roof. I'm

1:00:46

shocked Janet didn't kill anybody this season, but

1:00:49

we're only three episodes in. That would be

1:00:51

a very special episode of the Valley. Janet

1:00:54

makes Zach jump off a six-story

1:00:56

building. Anyways, in the FaceTime,

1:00:58

Janet's like, this is a whole new

1:01:00

low even for Kristen Doty. And

1:01:03

Michelle's like, well, it's interesting she's decided to

1:01:05

say that and say you when you're the

1:01:07

only person not there that night. And

1:01:10

she's like, well, wait until her sick pregnant friend

1:01:12

isn't around to throw around a fake accusation like

1:01:14

that. Fuck her. And

1:01:17

by the way, Janet's throwing around the

1:01:19

fuck word too. And Isabella, the three-year-old

1:01:21

daughter is right there as well. I'm

1:01:23

telling you, this three-year-old is gonna go

1:01:25

to preschool and be like, give me

1:01:27

the fucking crowns, you fucking teacher weirdo.

1:01:29

I do not want to have nap

1:01:31

time. I'm fucking up. Let's fucking go.

1:01:33

I wanna call her something. Anyways,

1:01:37

a lot of cursing. That's what happens

1:01:39

in the Valley. And Michelle's like, well,

1:01:42

listen, it's just crazy because

1:01:44

they were also talking about Alex showing

1:01:46

up to the guys nights, where Luke

1:01:48

was. And so she was upset about

1:01:51

that. And that just triggered Kristen, I

1:01:53

think. And she immediately snapped. And

1:01:56

Janet's like, oh, and then immediately threw this

1:01:58

out there. That is very typical Christian. And

1:02:00

it's what I think is she does not

1:02:02

want Alex's side of their breakup shared,

1:02:05

especially with Luke In

1:02:07

a talking head Genesis Kristen's opinion on Alex her

1:02:09

ex-boyfriend changed pretty quickly as soon as she met

1:02:11

Luke She seemed to think that you know, he's

1:02:14

a narcissist. He was horrible All

1:02:17

of their relationship issues were his fault but

1:02:19

I'm like I've seen you do things in

1:02:21

that relationship that were wrong and I've

1:02:24

heard you tell me you made a huge mistake

1:02:27

or you did something that you shouldn't do to

1:02:29

Alex so when she kind of changed her narrative

1:02:31

to Alex is the villain

1:02:33

and she's the victim

1:02:37

It made me look and go like well We

1:02:39

all know that's not true So back in

1:02:41

this scene Janet goes I think as soon as she heard that the

1:02:43

guys were with Alex and without her She

1:02:46

pulled something insane out of her ass the

1:02:48

double-r is racist and Republican I feel like

1:02:50

you and I Michelle are both collateral damage

1:02:52

on that and that's like really really not

1:02:54

cool and Michelle's like Yeah, well Just

1:02:57

so we're clear not racist and Republican Michelle

1:03:00

in a tug and I says I've known Christian for

1:03:02

a couple of years. She had problems with her ex-boyfriends

1:03:04

I had problems with Jesse and we were kind of

1:03:07

there for each other. So Christian's one of my closest

1:03:09

friends I think I was just

1:03:11

overwhelmed and I didn't say anything She tells Janet

1:03:13

and I'm mad at myself for not saying something in the

1:03:16

talking head She says I know a lot of people who

1:03:18

do not like Kristen and who are not nice to her But

1:03:20

I have been her friend and this is

1:03:23

how she repays me the double-r and

1:03:25

then she's like feel better Janet We'll talk

1:03:27

soon. Bye. That's just a normal conversation in

1:03:29

the valley. Anyways, okay, not not not racist

1:03:32

and Republican. Have a good day How's

1:03:34

the baby? Give it a pat for me? Um,

1:03:37

it's it's wild and also just the

1:03:39

relationships of like Kristen

1:03:41

used to complain about her ex-boyfriend with me and

1:03:43

I would complain about my current husband with her

1:03:46

I I love it that

1:03:48

real relationships are great But also

1:03:50

there's that common thing where people in

1:03:52

relationships, right when we break up there

1:03:54

is that need like Somebody's

1:03:56

got to be the villain. Somebody's got a good guy and

1:03:58

life is just never that simple. We're all like

1:04:01

fucked up on both sides. I mean, sometimes there's

1:04:03

obvious wrong. Sometimes it's like, Oh, that's really, really

1:04:05

bad. Like I think sandball in this, even though

1:04:07

some of you dorks

1:04:10

want to make it and Ariana's

1:04:12

fault of like, well, she wasn't she

1:04:14

wasn't very nice. She depends in

1:04:16

batteries. But it is weird. Like sometimes

1:04:18

those things that we try to rewrite the history

1:04:20

of a relationship, that just isn't the case. And

1:04:22

I like people that can go like, yo, I

1:04:25

love you, but that's not actually the way it

1:04:27

went down. But we do try to rewrite things.

1:04:29

And also, if you're in a new relationship, you

1:04:31

don't want your current partner to think that you

1:04:33

are potentially at fault for something, even

1:04:35

though they might understand you want to

1:04:38

make yourself look the best possible way

1:04:40

you can. And if you've

1:04:42

lost love, or you know, made yourself lose

1:04:44

love, there's still a lot of hurt associated

1:04:46

with all of that. So I could see

1:04:48

where Christian would try

1:04:50

to, I don't know, relationships are so

1:04:53

tough. I wonder if her ex boyfriend's

1:04:55

gonna be on camera anymore this season,

1:04:58

because I mean, I just feel like we missed

1:05:00

out on a scene between Luke and Alex of

1:05:02

Luke of like, Luke's that quiet type of like, you

1:05:05

better get out of my face right now. That's

1:05:08

one strike right there. Alex, I

1:05:10

don't like anything that you've done to my current partner,

1:05:12

Christian Dodie. And you've seen Crazy

1:05:14

Christian, we'll hear about to see

1:05:16

Crazy Luke. Do you know I have

1:05:18

an axe? Yeah, I've got tons

1:05:21

of axes. I'm a woodsman. So Michelle

1:05:24

gets off the phone, we've cleared it up. But

1:05:26

also, the other thing I was thinking about this,

1:05:28

we still don't fully know what conversation happened. I

1:05:31

think there is a world in which

1:05:33

Janet. I was

1:05:35

thinking about this, you know, like how we're all on like,

1:05:37

tech threads and stuff. And you throw out, I

1:05:39

mean, we don't provide any context or like,

1:05:41

you know, the conversations you have over text

1:05:43

or phone with friends, you'll throw out a

1:05:45

lot of crazy shit. You're like, Oh, I

1:05:48

bet that person's a rebel. Oh, I bet

1:05:50

that person was a January six. Oh, I

1:05:52

bet. You know, like, you're obviously joking. There

1:05:54

could be a world in which a conversation

1:05:56

was being had where it was like, Oh,

1:05:58

I bet, like in a joking. fashion

1:06:01

and then that got like then Zach told like

1:06:03

the game of telephone where it then became like

1:06:05

an accusation Instead of just

1:06:07

a stupid joke instead of like

1:06:09

oh, well, let's see where they're at

1:06:11

on January 6, you know Like those

1:06:13

could just be stupid jokes something was

1:06:16

said somewhere, but I also don't think

1:06:18

Janet would like like just flat-out say

1:06:21

that and if she did say that I think she

1:06:23

would say it with her whole chest and She would

1:06:25

have something to back it up and she wouldn't want

1:06:27

to be friends With somebody that

1:06:29

she felt wasn't aligning with her specific

1:06:31

values if that makes sense Okay,

1:06:34

so we're back in the scene and Jesse

1:06:36

lally's like what is being Republican have to

1:06:38

do with it? And Michelle's like I'm not a Republican

1:06:40

which by the way Even if I

1:06:42

am who gives a fuck right and then mommy

1:06:44

said the curse word and Isabelle is like mommy

1:06:48

It's like mommy said she can control herself

1:06:50

in front of Isabella But she can't because she's

1:06:52

stupid and I hate being married to her right

1:06:54

Isabella. We cut from that scene

1:06:56

We have some more soft jam music feel

1:06:59

the rhythm down to my

1:07:01

toes Yeah, we're Kristin's apartment and Christmas

1:07:04

like I am so ready to have a new

1:07:06

space It looks like let's fill up a couple

1:07:08

more bosses boxes and move them over there Okay,

1:07:10

because they're moving to apartment in the same apartment

1:07:12

building, which is so nice and

1:07:14

then Christmas like I can't I

1:07:17

can't wait to have the new space and

1:07:19

looks like you had have sex in the

1:07:21

bed We see Kristin's new apartment just down

1:07:23

the hall. It's it looks good. It looks

1:07:25

like a nice apartment They go into the

1:07:27

new apartment and she's like moving into this

1:07:29

apartment with Luke. Yeah, it's an apartment But

1:07:31

it's a total upgrade for an extra seventy

1:07:33

three dollars a month. I get a not I

1:07:35

get a nice bigger unit There's room

1:07:37

to play. She says I mean we have an

1:07:39

entire drawer of sex toys. Okay, I

1:07:41

don't need Christmas like we

1:07:44

have an entire room of sex toys. We

1:07:46

literally have one of those swings We've

1:07:48

amounted it to a wall Luke's very

1:07:50

handy. It's very structurally safe. Even if

1:07:52

there's an earthquake I'll still be able

1:07:55

to swing in a sex swinging position.

1:07:57

I don't need to know honestly like at this

1:07:59

At this point, I've watched Vanderpump Rules for so

1:08:02

many years that I do consider these people my

1:08:04

weird fucked up family. And I just don't, I

1:08:06

don't need to hear. I sometimes

1:08:08

will be like, no, no, no, no, don't talk about it. I don't

1:08:10

want to hear about girls with sex toys, please. No, no, no, no.

1:08:13

Oh, God. Can you Matt Luke's like, put

1:08:15

a bigger one in my butt, please. Sorry.

1:08:21

Yeah. Anyway,

1:08:25

and I also love that for an extra

1:08:27

$73 a month, that's so the valley. It's

1:08:29

so like, it's so, because I think we're

1:08:31

all like $73 a month. I

1:08:33

could swing that. Like, I like that we're

1:08:36

not dealing with like modern

1:08:38

farmhouses. Like we're not in the

1:08:40

Sandoval, Ariana, Fudd and About House. We're just moving to

1:08:43

a bigger apartment for $73 a month. That's

1:08:46

doable. I feel like I don't have to worry about where

1:08:48

Kristen's, I feel like Kristen can swing an extra $73 a

1:08:50

month. I love that, you know? So

1:08:53

they're moving all this stuff and

1:08:55

she's talking about the sex toys

1:08:57

and it's very cutesy. They're in

1:08:59

an empty apartment. And

1:09:02

she's just talking to Luke, you know, so

1:09:04

Kristen's talking to Luke about some knobs to put up

1:09:06

there. I don't know if it's to put like in

1:09:09

a sexual position or just on a cabinet or he's

1:09:11

like, what about these knobs? It looks like whatever makes

1:09:13

you happy, honey. Whatever makes you

1:09:15

happy. And then Kristen's like, well, what would

1:09:17

make me happy is Jack's not pulling a

1:09:19

fucking Jack's last night. I mean, literally, we

1:09:22

just have this talk where I said,

1:09:24

you know, I don't care if you're friends with my

1:09:26

ex boyfriend, just please don't bring him around me and

1:09:28

don't bring him around like Luke or my family. We

1:09:30

cut back to last week's episode three days ago where

1:09:32

Jack's like, don't you understand I'm friends with your ex

1:09:35

and I'm between two friends who don't get along. You

1:09:37

know, you have a little bit more

1:09:39

seniority, Kristen. And Luke's like the only saving

1:09:41

grace of the night is he pulled me aside first. Like

1:09:45

I wouldn't have been it would have been a total

1:09:47

blindside otherwise an extra shitty. And

1:09:49

Kristen's like I was so fucking upset when

1:09:51

Brittany told me. I

1:09:54

was felt like I was backed into a corner,

1:09:56

Luke, and I just fucking reacted and I spit

1:09:59

out the double R. And I'm talking to her,

1:10:01

she's like, for Jax to do that is fucking insane. Jax promised

1:10:03

me he wasn't gonna pull this shit, so if he's gonna pull

1:10:05

shit like that, I'm gonna start calling people

1:10:07

out on their bullshit. I love the fact

1:10:09

that Michelle has nothing to do with

1:10:11

Jax. If Jax goes crazy and

1:10:13

does anything to harm me or my family, I

1:10:16

will throw other people under the bus who are

1:10:18

not Jax. I will not harm

1:10:20

Jax in any way. I will harm other cast

1:10:22

members. That's what I will do. Yeah,

1:10:24

that's what you get, Jax. Everybody's

1:10:27

gonna suffer except for you. And

1:10:29

then Kristen's like, and then Luke, I

1:10:31

brought up what Zach had told us

1:10:34

about the double R, and we flash

1:10:36

back to that about Zach, Janet talks

1:10:38

shit about you, saying that Michelle is

1:10:41

probably, and Jazin's like, are you kidding

1:10:43

me? Kristen's

1:10:45

like, before production started, there's a lot of

1:10:47

shit talk going on within our group. Janet

1:10:49

was trying to start a bunch of shit

1:10:51

insinuating that Michelle could

1:10:54

be homophobic, racist. And

1:10:56

then last night, Zach fully denied it, Luke.

1:10:59

And they're talking to that, she's like, everyone's gonna talk about

1:11:01

this behind closed doors, and then filming starts, the cameras

1:11:03

are up. Okay, oh, we're all gonna

1:11:05

pretend it didn't happen. Not

1:11:08

Kristen Doherty. Zach was upset

1:11:10

that I spoke about things that he told

1:11:12

me in confidence. But

1:11:15

he knows better when it's a

1:11:17

Janet thing. Like I know in his deep

1:11:19

down Zach reality, he wanted

1:11:21

me to light a fire. I wonder if

1:11:23

Zach's like, I definitely do not want you

1:11:25

to light a fire. I'd be like, no,

1:11:28

no fire. I am allergic to fires, please.

1:11:30

I love that Doherty's like, deep down, he

1:11:33

wants me like, nobody deep down wants you

1:11:35

to reveal something that you were asked to

1:11:37

not reveal. I also think

1:11:39

this is the perfect blend of bringing up

1:11:41

the reality of the reality of like, before

1:11:44

cameras were brought up, I wanna hear more.

1:11:46

I want people, I've always argued this for

1:11:48

this over the last four years of, we're

1:11:50

not dumb, we are a sophisticated audience. We

1:11:53

realize they realize they're being filmed. Let's talk

1:11:55

about it. I think this is the perfect

1:11:57

blend. I like the blending of this. So

1:12:00

Dodie, by the way, she is a

1:12:02

martyr. She is the mother Teresa of

1:12:04

reality television, where she will light herself

1:12:06

on fire for the betterment of all

1:12:08

the lepers that she is surrounding. She's

1:12:11

a saint, St. Dodie. Anyways, like

1:12:13

I feel awful for bringing Michelle into

1:12:16

this bullshit that Janet started. That

1:12:18

Janet started. He's like, I

1:12:20

feel like I asked him, Michelle, have I seen

1:12:22

that? Yes, you did. You

1:12:24

definitely did. The best thing to do

1:12:26

right now is when someone tells

1:12:28

you something, just put it in your

1:12:31

back pocket. Just keep it back there. It

1:12:33

doesn't need to be weaponized. I didn't

1:12:35

mean to weaponize it. No, I know. I know. That

1:12:38

is what I did, though, didn't I? So that's really the whole, you know,

1:12:41

that's the whole thing, Kristen. And

1:12:43

she's like, do I look like a $2 hooker with mascara under

1:12:45

my eyes? And Luca is like, at least

1:12:47

a $20,000 hooker. And

1:12:51

she's like, that's so sweet, baby. Oh,

1:12:53

let's go have sex with our drawer of sex toys.

1:12:56

I love that. She's like, keep it in your

1:12:58

back pocket. Kristen Dodie's back pocket, it makes her

1:13:00

look like she has the biggest BBL ever because

1:13:02

her ass cheeks are just carrying around some of

1:13:04

the darkest secrets of everybody on that cast of

1:13:06

the valley. And what I need to do is

1:13:08

I need to get a hold on those jeans

1:13:10

and just get all the secrets and then I'll

1:13:13

just reveal them on so bad it's good week

1:13:15

after week. Anyways, she's

1:13:17

like, you make me feel better. And he's

1:13:19

like, okay. We come back from

1:13:21

commercial and we have Daniel and Nia. And

1:13:24

this is a very like, this

1:13:26

is a good couple, man. They have three

1:13:28

kids, they're dealing with like two newborn twins.

1:13:31

And they're seen so far alone really just

1:13:33

has to do with milk production. Daniel's

1:13:36

like, how much milk do we

1:13:38

currently have on hand? Have

1:13:41

you pumped enough from the teat? How much

1:13:43

teat milk? We need more

1:13:45

teat milk. It is a milk teat

1:13:47

production factory at their apartment in the

1:13:50

valley. But that's so far, their solo

1:13:52

scenes are about that. And

1:13:54

it's just about like their bottle schedules. I always feel

1:13:56

like when we get to their scenes, I need to

1:13:59

write down their schedule. just so they don't forget. But

1:14:01

it just, you know, he constantly reminds us how

1:14:03

little sleep he's getting. He's like, I haven't slept

1:14:06

in a month and a half. I

1:14:08

haven't slept. He's like, no, but for

1:14:10

real, where how much milk and they open the freezer, I'm

1:14:12

trying to look in there to see how much milk. She

1:14:15

says post Miss USA, because she was Miss

1:14:18

USA, I she's very blessed to make

1:14:20

appearances work with other people do social media

1:14:22

work partners with brands. So she'll go and

1:14:24

do these trips and you know, make

1:14:26

some money that way, which is great. So

1:14:30

they're just packing for her trip. Milk,

1:14:33

it's, it's really not it's just a real

1:14:35

couple to me, which I think is nice.

1:14:37

I think it's nice to have that in

1:14:40

between like the Dodie revealing our and our

1:14:42

secrets. But anyway, they talk about before kids,

1:14:44

they had all these amazing vacations before they

1:14:46

had kids, but it's like, well, at least

1:14:48

you have that. But I think this is

1:14:50

a couple that works. And I like watching

1:14:52

them. And I'm excited to see them more.

1:14:55

Because I think you need that voice of reason.

1:14:57

My big thing with Daniel though, is like, how

1:14:59

did he become such good friends with Jax? And

1:15:01

how do you constantly make apologies

1:15:03

for somebody else's bad behavior? That's the

1:15:06

thing that fascinates me. Anyways, we cut

1:15:08

on over to Jax's to the Jax's

1:15:10

saloon guys. He's a bar owner now

1:15:12

in Studio City. And he's one of

1:15:14

those guys that rides one of those

1:15:16

fancy golf carts. And I got to

1:15:18

tell you, like, that's fine around golf

1:15:20

places and small towns. But I

1:15:23

was just on Ventura Boulevard today. It's like a

1:15:25

busy, like Jax is riding around

1:15:27

like a fancy golf cart. And he's trying

1:15:29

to park on Ventura Boulevard. Dude, like that's

1:15:32

not no, no bueno man. Like what are

1:15:34

we what's going on? I've lived in the

1:15:36

valley for like that. That

1:15:38

would upset me just to see Jax cruising around in

1:15:40

this thing. He pulls up, you

1:15:42

know, and he's, you know, trying to

1:15:45

get into these like, I feel like Austin Powers

1:15:47

trying to park this thing. Oh,

1:15:49

behave. All right. Do I make

1:15:51

you Randy? I'm Jax. He

1:15:53

comes in. He's like, what's up, guys? What's up,

1:15:56

business partners? What do you guys think about that wall

1:15:58

over there? Brutal honest opinion. And He's

1:16:00

like, I think it needs to pop a little bit more,

1:16:02

you know, a little more three dimensional, but you know, it's

1:16:04

fine A little more three-dimensional. What

1:16:06

are you talking about? Jack? It's a

1:16:08

wall. It's already fucking three-dimensional. What are

1:16:10

you? Yeah, what

1:16:12

do you uh? Picturing more

1:16:14

wood was picturing a Cleaner

1:16:17

sir. I was picturing stuff It's he's that guy that

1:16:19

comes in when he hasn't really done a lot of

1:16:21

work and he's like, hey big Let me

1:16:23

call a meeting. Huh? What do we think about walls?

1:16:25

Wait, what do you like lights? Do

1:16:27

you think we need lights in here? By the

1:16:29

way, the only I like Jackson studio city

1:16:31

I liked it a little the like I

1:16:33

said, the prices were a little higher than I wanted to be

1:16:36

and the there

1:16:38

was only one bathroom and I thought

1:16:40

that was weird like You know

1:16:42

if you or somebody that needs a bathroom when you go

1:16:44

out Maybe stay home But also

1:16:46

if you do just also say don't you know, don't

1:16:48

plan on using one at Jackson Studio City Anyways,

1:16:51

Jack's is in there just talking shop with

1:16:53

the boys his business partners. He's

1:16:55

like, okay Where are we at? What's going

1:16:58

on? And the guys are like

1:17:00

we have interviews lined up for today We need

1:17:02

some good to good workers, which is a really

1:17:04

interesting business plan Like we need good nobody's ever

1:17:06

thought of that. We need good good workers Lisa

1:17:08

Vanderpump's like, oh, I never knew Good

1:17:12

workers. That's what we should be

1:17:14

trying to do Jackson

1:17:20

is hugging heads like I've been a bartender the

1:17:22

majority of my life Had

1:17:25

some real crazy years at sir. We

1:17:27

have a flashback of all those like days and he's

1:17:29

like I'm hungover He's like I'm not

1:17:31

muddling things today. I'm not making a mojito I'm

1:17:34

very fortunate to where I don't have to

1:17:36

put up a bunch of money I have

1:17:38

three partners bigger foot in the bill. I

1:17:40

personally haven't invested anything which is Truly

1:17:43

amazing that is that's the way to do

1:17:45

it I was like but that's kind of

1:17:47

typical jazz right have everybody else do like

1:17:49

have Brittany take care of your life Have

1:17:52

your business business partners take care of the bills

1:17:54

and then just you know Just throw in things

1:17:56

like I think it needs to be a little

1:17:58

more three-dimensional. Huh? I was picturing something that pops

1:18:00

a little more. So anyways, they're interviewing

1:18:03

like bartenders and servers. We meet Stephanie

1:18:05

R, an interviewer, in an interviewee, she

1:18:07

comes in. She's

1:18:09

like, I brought in a copy of my

1:18:11

resume, three letters of recommendation, as well as

1:18:13

my safe serve. I am TIP certified in

1:18:15

ABC if needed. And he's

1:18:17

like, to be honest, bars destroy marriages. You know,

1:18:19

when Tom and Tom opened their bar, huh,

1:18:22

well, I knew immediately, they weren't involving

1:18:25

their significant others. It's all the

1:18:27

problems that they went through. And I just wanted to make sure

1:18:30

that I didn't have any of those problems. I had to involve my

1:18:32

wife. I love these, like I had to

1:18:34

involve my wife. She's not here today. I wouldn't even

1:18:36

let her fucking touch foot in this place when I

1:18:38

have hot ladies coming in that I might potentially hire.

1:18:40

Are you fucking kidding me? Anyways, but

1:18:42

she's like, yeah, he says like, ah, she's not here

1:18:45

today. And then this girl walks in and

1:18:48

they make it very obvious that she is

1:18:50

not wearing a bra. And

1:18:52

do you know those, you know,

1:18:54

they're the nipples. You can kind of

1:18:57

see like a little, you know, like the nipple

1:19:00

area. So I know it's a family show.

1:19:02

So I'm not very quiet about that. But

1:19:04

this girl walks in and Jax is like,

1:19:06

Zoinks, oh,

1:19:09

you're about to get jaxed. Jax is like,

1:19:11

hey, what's going on? How are you? And

1:19:13

she's like, yeah. He's

1:19:16

like, I think I should take care of

1:19:19

hiring the staff. You know, this Miranda girl

1:19:21

comes in and you

1:19:23

can tell Jax is just flustered. She's like, hey, I'm Jax. This

1:19:26

girl decided not to wear a bra. She's

1:19:30

got a girl that would have a child

1:19:32

out of wedlock. You know what I'm saying?

1:19:34

Hey, you gotta keep those puppies in, man.

1:19:36

I have a hot blooded male. You don't

1:19:38

wear a bra around me. That gives me

1:19:41

temptation. That's on you. If I cheat on

1:19:43

my wife with you, that's your fault, buddy.

1:19:45

You didn't pass those things up. You needed

1:19:47

an over the shoulder boulder holder. That's on

1:19:49

old Jax Taylor. I'll tell you that right

1:19:51

now. Anyways, Jax is like, hey,

1:19:53

are you an actor? She's like, no.

1:19:55

He's like, OK. Sorry. I

1:19:58

had to ask that question. He's like, ah. He's

1:20:02

like, did we hire her? He

1:20:05

lights up around people with no bras. Anyways,

1:20:08

another girl comes in Stephanie. And

1:20:11

she has tattoos, everything she's like, I've been

1:20:13

bartending for about three years now. I

1:20:16

love it. I actually worked in the medical field for

1:20:18

15 years before this. He's like, okay, cool, cool. That's

1:20:22

great. I can save your life and give you a good time. And Jackson's

1:20:24

like, I bet you could. My wife.

1:20:27

He's like, she's got the look. She's got the tattoos, dark

1:20:29

hair. And then they're like, we want

1:20:31

to get you behind the bars. See what it looks like for

1:20:33

you to make drinks. She's got that vibe where she just doesn't

1:20:35

put up with shit from anyone. She's exactly

1:20:37

what I'm looking for. You know, Jackson's like, let me,

1:20:39

hey, let's do a couple of scenarios. See, I drop

1:20:41

a bunch of change, right? Hey, will you grab it

1:20:43

for me while I get behind you? Hey, drop the

1:20:45

quarter, huh? Little

1:20:48

a little trick. I learned

1:20:50

it, sir. Yeah. Okay. Here's

1:20:52

another one. Let's do a scenario. I'm your

1:20:54

boss, right? Okay. Now I'm married

1:20:57

with a kid, right? Okay. I'm your

1:20:59

boss, buried with a kid. You're my employer,

1:21:01

right? Late at night. It's

1:21:03

just us. I've turned on a little

1:21:05

lover boy on the stereo. Okay. I'm

1:21:07

looking good. This is just a scenario, right? You

1:21:11

know, I have the creepy mustache goatee thing going. Also

1:21:13

I come up to you. I'm like, Hey, let's count

1:21:15

those drawers out at the end of the night. Right?

1:21:19

And what do you do? I

1:21:21

let you count. No, no, no. You

1:21:23

put your hand on my chest. Yep. Put

1:21:26

your hand on my chest and you say,

1:21:28

Jax Taylor, my God, you look good today.

1:21:31

Now that's the guy. And Jax Taylor is a

1:21:33

boss. Hey, I'm no Peter Madrigal. You're going to count yourself

1:21:35

out at the end of the night. So

1:21:39

it's all like the uniform

1:21:41

is tattoos and a bra, girl. That's

1:21:44

Jax's studio city. Anyways,

1:21:47

she makes a lemon drop. They all seem like, Oh

1:21:49

my God, it's the best lemon drop I ever had.

1:21:51

He's like, you're, you're hired. This is perfect. Amazing. Okay.

1:21:54

So I'm going to go over from Jax's studio city. I

1:21:58

feel glorious. Brittany is

1:22:00

walking to this place called Horchateria. And

1:22:03

she's like, I'm gonna do a churro and a

1:22:05

little ice cream drink. She's at this place, but

1:22:07

if you look at the, you

1:22:10

know at the little place that they have

1:22:12

that little refrigerator section at the front, there's

1:22:14

nothing in, like there's no products in there.

1:22:16

Like I'm like, is this, is

1:22:18

Horchateria like not even a real place or

1:22:20

is it not open? They had no products

1:22:22

in the thing to buy. But

1:22:24

anyway, she's like, okay, I'm just here to meet

1:22:27

somebody, a cast member. She's like, it is hot

1:22:29

in the valley. And Dodie walks

1:22:31

up, she's like, look at those legs. And

1:22:33

Christmas is like, it is so hot. I

1:22:35

know, I know, you look cute. Oh,

1:22:38

you look cute. I've never

1:22:40

been over here to Horchateria. I'm

1:22:42

looking over over here cause I hate to drive. And

1:22:46

then they eat

1:22:48

the little churro things. How

1:22:50

are you feeling, Christian? She's like

1:22:53

overwhelmed. Well, the girls night, it kind of

1:22:55

took a bad turn with the R and R.

1:22:57

So Jana is really, really pissed off right now.

1:22:59

And Christmas is like, at you, at who, at

1:23:02

you? She's like, Christmas is like, at who?

1:23:05

And Britain is like, at you, at you girl. Are

1:23:08

you kidding me? Well, you know, cause

1:23:10

you told her that you basically said

1:23:13

that Michelle was a racist. And

1:23:15

Dodie's like, I didn't say that. Of

1:23:17

me, of all people, really you think this is a

1:23:20

topic that I want to talk about ever? That was

1:23:22

my whole point. I was like, why is

1:23:24

Christmas ever bringing this up? No shit, Christmas says. You

1:23:27

know, talking to her, she's like, it really sucks to have a word that

1:23:29

is so hurtful, even be affiliated with your name. But

1:23:32

I repeated what was told to

1:23:34

me, something that

1:23:36

Janet said. So

1:23:39

why the fuck is everybody mad

1:23:41

at me? I mean, so they bring the

1:23:43

point up and we can talk about this a little bit because

1:23:45

it's actually been in the news in this

1:23:47

last week is Faith Stowers.

1:23:50

Faith Stowers is,

1:23:52

that's why Christian and Stasi were

1:23:54

let go from Vanderpump Rules because

1:23:57

of racist remarks. geared

1:24:00

towards Faith in the year, I believe, was it

1:24:02

2020 or 2019? And it is interesting. And

1:24:07

this is why I think Kristen doesn't, she

1:24:09

just reacts. And when I saw

1:24:12

Kristen at Jackson's a couple weeks ago, I told

1:24:14

you guys that she mentioned, she was like, Oh

1:24:16

my God, in an upcoming episode, they bring up

1:24:19

why I got fired from Vanderpump Rules. And

1:24:21

I thought it was much later in the season, I didn't

1:24:23

realize it was this episode, it was this soon. I

1:24:28

think, I don't know,

1:24:30

I think it's, it's, it's, this

1:24:34

is a hard lesson for Kristen to learn. And

1:24:36

I hope she has learned this lesson. Now Faith,

1:24:39

now this seems like it's going to be a

1:24:42

part of the reality reckoning lawsuit, or I think,

1:24:44

you know, that's in the planning stages. And they're

1:24:46

using the same lawyers now again, Mark

1:24:49

Garagos and Brian

1:24:51

Friedman, who

1:24:53

now represents Randy Glanville, Bethany

1:24:55

Frankel, Raquel Rachel Levis, all

1:24:57

of these people are like

1:24:59

the Avengers of suing Bravo.

1:25:03

And Faith has now added her name to the list.

1:25:05

And you know, what a time to do that, because

1:25:07

this week's episode involves some

1:25:09

of this. And I hope we get even more into

1:25:11

it in tomorrow night's episode of the

1:25:14

Valley. And I'm sure you guys know about

1:25:16

the comments that were made by her and

1:25:18

Stasi and what happened. Now I had Faith

1:25:21

on So Bad It's Good. The first year we,

1:25:23

I remember was during the pandemic. And

1:25:26

it was I remember, I have to go

1:25:28

back and listen to that episode because I,

1:25:31

you know,

1:25:33

my, yeah,

1:25:37

it's a really,

1:25:39

it's, you know, I, my, my

1:25:41

heart goes out to Faith for having to

1:25:43

experience what she's had to experience. And

1:25:46

as a white dude, I don't have a,

1:25:51

I know how I feel about it, but

1:25:53

it's not something that I've had to go through, but

1:25:55

it is something that I think is really important.

1:25:57

And I think that's something that I've had to do. And I think

1:26:00

feel should be talked about it. Sometimes I feel like

1:26:02

these shows sometimes don't have the language in which to

1:26:04

talk about it properly. And it's

1:26:06

a really delicate conversation that I don't think we should

1:26:08

shy away from. And I do

1:26:10

think Kristin paid an obvious price

1:26:12

for this. But it was a

1:26:15

price that she paid based on her own actions. You

1:26:17

know, I remember Kristin even on this podcast reminding,

1:26:20

you know, I, you know, she had that book

1:26:22

that got released right around the time. He's just

1:26:24

not, is it he's just, oh, he's

1:26:26

what I have the book right over here on my bookshelf. He's

1:26:29

making you crazy. And that got optioned

1:26:31

to become a movie. No joke. And

1:26:34

she lost that deal. She lost

1:26:36

Vanderpump Rules. You know, she, there

1:26:38

were consequences to her actions. And

1:26:41

you really hope that has taught

1:26:44

Kristin a lesson. But it is interesting for

1:26:46

her to throw that out there as a

1:26:48

conversation point when she comes

1:26:51

from the background that she does. So

1:26:53

I do hope that there is an

1:26:55

honest conversation about this. And I wish,

1:26:57

you know, rather than suing, I wish

1:26:59

faith could actually come back on the

1:27:01

show and have these conversations about this.

1:27:03

I think we all make horrific mistakes

1:27:05

in our life. I have made so

1:27:07

many mistakes in my life. And

1:27:09

the best you can do is learn from it.

1:27:11

But you will pay like some, sometimes

1:27:14

a really dear price for these things. But

1:27:16

I think part of it is trying to

1:27:18

work through it, trying to learn, trying to

1:27:20

find out, you know, if you do have

1:27:22

unconscious bias towards people, if there

1:27:25

are things that you can do to

1:27:27

make yourself a better person and describe

1:27:29

to do that. But sometimes these are

1:27:31

really hard conversations to have on a

1:27:33

reality show, especially in the Vanderpump Rules

1:27:35

universe, because it's so usually egocentric, me-centric.

1:27:38

There's a level of narcissism with all

1:27:40

reality shows that doesn't take too kindly

1:27:42

to having these deep conversations. But

1:27:44

I know the audience can handle that.

1:27:47

Like I say always, it's

1:27:49

a very sophisticated audience. I've learned

1:27:51

more from reality television than sometimes

1:27:54

I've learned in actual real life. I mean, it's

1:27:56

like we have in a do's and don'ts list

1:27:58

that are a mile long. But I

1:28:00

do find that fascinating that Kristen Levy that

1:28:02

accusation out there knowing where she has come

1:28:05

from in her past with it, and especially

1:28:07

when it comes to TV, and I do

1:28:09

wonder how I mean I first of course

1:28:11

I wonder how faith is doing, but I

1:28:13

also wonder how Kristen is doing that if

1:28:15

she knew this was going to ignite again

1:28:18

if she knew that faith, this was like

1:28:20

on the precipice of happening that there was

1:28:22

going to be potentially another lawsuit, because faith

1:28:24

tried to sue, I believe in

1:28:26

2020, and it did not go anywhere. But

1:28:29

now I think with Mark Garagos and like

1:28:31

the reality reckoning of it all, they

1:28:33

potentially are footing the bill to make

1:28:35

this go. So I'm curious if like

1:28:37

with anything Bethany Frankel is associated with,

1:28:39

if they are looking for a payday

1:28:41

or if they're actually looking to make

1:28:43

reality shows better. And so

1:28:46

far, I don't have the answer to that.

1:28:49

It's an interesting conversation that I think deserves

1:28:52

to be had, of course, but I just

1:28:54

sometimes wonder, are these people the reality reckoning

1:28:56

looking for a payday, or are they looking

1:28:58

to actually build a better boat, you know,

1:29:00

also, if you want to know more about

1:29:02

faith and her story from her own mouth,

1:29:04

I believe she has a new podcast out

1:29:07

I think it is behind a paywall. But

1:29:10

I'm sure you can find probably a Reddit

1:29:12

thread or you know, transcripts of what she

1:29:14

talks about. Maybe I'll talk about

1:29:16

more of that at the pop culture roundup

1:29:18

next week. Anyway, so back in this scene,

1:29:20

Dodie just doesn't understand why anybody's mad at

1:29:22

her for any of this. She's like, I

1:29:24

fell back into a corner, Brittany, I fucking

1:29:27

spat out shit that wasn't my place to

1:29:29

say, especially in the space we were in.

1:29:31

I'm very glad we're owning up to that. I

1:29:33

noticed I'm very glad. So like, no shit, of

1:29:35

course. I don't think Chris does

1:29:37

anything on purpose to her people. She just

1:29:40

does things sometimes. She's not like

1:29:42

Jackson that way. What

1:29:44

if we find out what if we

1:29:46

find out that like Jackson Dodie truly

1:29:48

are like twins separated at birth. It's

1:29:50

kind of like Luke and Leia from

1:29:52

Star Wars. I

1:29:56

felt you. I

1:30:01

felt you were my sister all along. Are

1:30:06

they both from Michigan? Oh

1:30:10

my God, you're my sister. I

1:30:14

always tell people we have sister brother fights,

1:30:16

but they never believe us. Oh

1:30:18

my God, so sorry. Brittany's like, I don't

1:30:20

know, Jana is actually the one who is

1:30:23

saying this stuff. Or

1:30:25

if something was said when

1:30:29

Christian exaggerated it, because that's

1:30:31

what Jax would do. I

1:30:33

don't know. I don't know. Christian's like, this

1:30:35

Zach stuff is really pissing me up. Well,

1:30:37

you've got to talk to him about this

1:30:39

stuff because it is getting crazy. It's getting

1:30:41

dumpster fire really fast. So

1:30:43

now they call Zach. She's

1:30:46

like, you're on Speaker Zach. Hi,

1:30:48

honey. I'm wildly

1:30:50

confused. Why are you denying the

1:30:53

stuff that you told me? What

1:30:55

part are we referring to? Janet

1:30:58

told Jasmine that Michelle Lally, being a Republican, and

1:31:00

that she should be careful. The

1:31:02

Republican thing was said, but that does

1:31:05

not mean racism. I never

1:31:07

said that. And Dodie's like, why would

1:31:09

I use the fucking R word, Zach? It's what you

1:31:11

said to me. So don't throw me under the bus. You're

1:31:14

the God, Christian. You're the bus driver. You're

1:31:16

the one driving over all the dead bodies.

1:31:18

You're twisting everything Zach says. Ted

1:31:20

Rupp rusted. I'm not saying there wasn't something

1:31:23

to happen, but what you did was you

1:31:25

took something that was very simple, Christian, that

1:31:27

I was talking about behind the scenes because

1:31:29

I was like, oh, that's weird. You

1:31:31

don't just blurt out stuff like that and

1:31:34

accuse somebody of saying something that's

1:31:36

racist like that. And

1:31:38

Dodie's like, oh, Christian just cannot keep a secret

1:31:40

to save her life, Zach says in the talking

1:31:42

net. Like, even when I'm telling her, don't tell

1:31:44

this person because you're my friend and I want

1:31:46

you to know, but I need you to keep

1:31:48

it to yourself. She has never once been able

1:31:51

to keep a secret. Now, in

1:31:53

that part, I kind of think that Zach, that's

1:31:55

on you, brother. If you literally keep

1:31:57

doing this to Christian and she keeps throwing you on

1:31:59

the bus, under the bus, stop telling

1:32:01

her stuff. Welcome to the Valley, Zach.

1:32:04

Or you cannot hide under those

1:32:06

bangs. If Kristen creased

1:32:08

doing that, why do you keep

1:32:11

telling her? I hate to

1:32:13

like put the onus back on you,

1:32:15

but help her help herself.

1:32:18

Kristen will not put herself in these situations and

1:32:20

you won't get yourself in these situations. If

1:32:23

you got a tell, call me, call

1:32:25

somebody else, but don't tell Kristen, because

1:32:28

Kristen keeps it in that back pocket

1:32:30

of hers and it just

1:32:32

is going to explode. Seriously,

1:32:34

this is why the show works though. So,

1:32:38

Britney's like, okay, well, it was brought up at

1:32:40

the party and that's why

1:32:42

everybody's so mad. Even though, and

1:32:44

Kristen's like, well, rather than it being the point

1:32:47

that everybody was talking a bunch of shit and bringing it to

1:32:49

my front door, I was the

1:32:51

only one to say it out loud. We flashed

1:32:53

back to that night two days ago and Dodie

1:32:55

is talking privately with Zach and going, I know

1:32:58

two days ago that Janet said this to, am

1:33:00

I wrong? And Zach's like, you are not wrong,

1:33:02

girl. And Britney's like, well, you gotta take

1:33:04

accountability for that and that's, we gotta move forward

1:33:06

from here on out. All right, I love you, honey. We'll

1:33:08

call you later, Zach. So

1:33:11

they're like, ooh, tough stuff, tough stuff.

1:33:14

Kristen's like, the part that I took in this was repeating

1:33:16

it in front of everybody. And Britney's

1:33:18

like, I'm glad you noticed that. That's all gross

1:33:20

in the valley. And Kristen's like, well,

1:33:22

this is sitting inside of me really bothering me. I had to get

1:33:24

it up. I had to get it out. Britney's

1:33:27

like, I feel a lot of responsibility to keep this

1:33:29

group together. I love everybody. I don't want us to

1:33:31

have these issues. And Dodie's like, something

1:33:34

about summers, man, makes me crazy. Something

1:33:37

about summers in the valley. Oh

1:33:39

my gosh, double R's, Republican and

1:33:41

racist. That's what it's

1:33:43

all about. But I

1:33:45

love that we can't trust Kristen, but at

1:33:47

the same time, we need Kristen in The

1:33:50

Mix. We Need her in the mix because

1:33:52

she's going to make things messy. And Then

1:33:54

you put everybody else on their heels and

1:33:57

then they react in these crazy ways. And

1:33:59

I Think. So while they're Brittany

1:34:01

like. Your the lag as you

1:34:03

like up stuff you embellish stuff

1:34:05

is flat out lie. I love

1:34:07

you so much both y'all you

1:34:09

crazy young are you thought that

1:34:11

was a hula hoop? I'm. Poor

1:34:14

pretty mad. Are. We

1:34:16

really like. I wonder what her stress

1:34:18

levels are like? Her cortisol levels gotta

1:34:20

be through the roof. Okay, so now

1:34:22

we're Jesse and Michelle. Lally they are

1:34:24

doing. Like. A therapist says and like

1:34:27

kind of marriage counseling and they're they're a

1:34:29

therapist or their counsellor comes to them. How

1:34:31

do you like that? No more. Zoom know

1:34:33

we're going to them there. They got it.

1:34:35

So the guy comes to them. Scott he's

1:34:37

a life coach. He's. Not there

1:34:39

for a life coach. Amazing! Digital

1:34:42

Game and are you do and how are you doing. I'm

1:34:44

I'm a little tired. obviously. like

1:34:47

coach. They. Sit down and the living room.

1:34:50

And. Guys like. Okay how we

1:34:52

functioning together guys and just like I'm. Not

1:34:55

good. And it's not going

1:34:57

to lose. Like our marriage counselor is not a

1:34:59

therapist, he's more of a coach and his goal

1:35:01

is to make us the best version of ourselves.

1:35:04

And if the best version of

1:35:07

ourselves or in love with each

1:35:09

other than our marriage will survive.

1:35:11

Get better. And.

1:35:13

Muscles likes have worked on our friends marriage

1:35:15

that really improved and health. Just.

1:35:18

Like we've spoken to him on the phone, we

1:35:20

never met him in person. We're going to get

1:35:22

into the depths of our relationship and how to

1:35:24

move forward. Which. Is always great

1:35:26

oath and we're going to add cameras

1:35:28

into the mix. that is always a

1:35:31

very healthy thing. We have a child

1:35:33

and we're going to throw cameras into

1:35:35

this to show the world are deep

1:35:37

dark rooted seeded issues that I hate

1:35:39

my wife and my wife hates me

1:35:41

Anyways, here's are like goes to the

1:35:44

lifecoach like do feel is there. Anything

1:35:47

that came up. Anything you

1:35:50

want to revisit you guys and just

1:35:52

like it's just constant conflict all the

1:35:54

time. We. Flashback to all of

1:35:56

the things I'd like to come on: Too much

1:35:58

milk in my coffee? Michelle. Come on

1:36:00

Michelle! It's. To milky.

1:36:04

What? Are your needs in this relationship that are

1:36:06

being met? Michelle and Missiles at a lot

1:36:08

of needs are not be met. Pass.

1:36:13

And. Just is like what? A lot

1:36:15

of needs. I felt very lonely

1:36:17

for very long time. Ah, raising

1:36:19

the child can be very lonely

1:36:22

when you're not interacting with adults

1:36:24

and especially a partner. Ah,

1:36:29

I. Get frustrated because he doesn't understand

1:36:31

how I feel. I'm.

1:36:33

No longer affectionate. And he's. Not

1:36:35

either. And life could

1:36:37

like. you're not getting tenderness is it? I

1:36:39

think the opposite. He's very hard on me.

1:36:41

I think you're very hard on me no

1:36:43

matter what I do. Nothing is enough. I'm.

1:36:49

In. A Talking Head as he says he's very low

1:36:51

cd about the house. He didn't want the house to

1:36:53

ever look like we had kids in. It's. Every.

1:36:56

Aspect, even business as well. You're tough

1:36:58

on me, jersey. And I just

1:37:00

feel like we're living right now. More.

1:37:03

As in like a brother and sister

1:37:05

are not. Like Jackson person as opposed to

1:37:07

like husband and wife. The. Like

1:37:10

Coach has more a chemistry with

1:37:12

Michelle Them. says. He does disease

1:37:14

like everything that she saying. I'm trying to figure

1:37:16

out examples that and the like. Would you like

1:37:18

don't lawyer, just sit with what you deserve. And.

1:37:21

He's like sitting you'd sell is like it's like

1:37:23

American psycho. She's. Walking On

1:37:25

Eggshells Jesse. Sister. Toeing the lab

1:37:27

coats everything has to be your way and just

1:37:29

he's like it's hard to see her upset. I

1:37:31

wonder if I was the best? Most

1:37:34

passive. Husband and father

1:37:36