A big part of early sobriety for me was the sorrow I felt because of the poor decisions I had made and the lifestyle I had pursued. It made me sad and angry to think about “what could’ve been" and the potential I had sacrificed in aimless pursuits. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. My life was supposed to be epic and triumphant, not small and broken. By this stage in my life, I was supposed to have all the cash and prizes. I was supposed to be one of the winners. I was supposed to have a fat bank account. I was supposed to have a big house. I was supposed to have a wife and children. I was supposed to have fame, fortune, and adulation. 

The wreckage of my past was not a pretty sight to behold. But it was something I had to face to move forward. I had to look back and fully embrace all the mistakes and bad decisions I had made in my life, and be willing to forgive myself and others who had hurt me. Otherwise, I was doomed to repeat the past and keep swallowing the poison of regret that polluted my mind and soul.

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