0:00

You know how I'm a bit of a joker? I

0:03

wouldn't say anything, but don't call yourself

0:06

a joker. You're a comedian, you're a professional,

0:08

probably one of Australia's elite.

0:11

You know

0:13

I had this ... I can't remember if I mentioned him again, Adam Zawahar,

0:15

we mentioned him last podcast. I talked to

0:17

him a lot. You

0:19

confide in each other. You don't confide in me, by the way. I

0:21

do sometimes. Anyway,

0:24

we ... Oh, that rash, by the way, I got you some cream. Good,

0:26

yeah, awesome. Don't tell my wife. We

0:30

were talking, he said to me one day, you're like in the top

0:32

five comics of Australia. Absolutely.

0:34

I said, no, I'm not. Then I started listing people, right? He

0:37

goes, all right, well, top 10. Oh, no. I

0:39

started listing more people. No. Then

0:41

I reckon we got to, I was 23rd. No. Yes.

0:46

It doesn't matter, whatever, as long as you're having a good time and

0:48

you're making a living and having fun,

0:50

who cares? I would put

0:52

you ... It depends what

0:54

trenches that you're in. Yeah, it's true. I would

0:56

put you in a pub with a good

0:59

audience or in a theater. I'd

1:02

define anyone to be better than you who's out

1:04

there in the trenches doing some

1:06

sort of gig out in the middle of nowhere or doing a corporate

1:09

where the audience is a bit rough. As

1:11

we found out on this podcast, you've worked

1:13

to every sort of audience that there is. I

1:15

know I've been on stage with you and it's like you're

1:18

throwing hand grenades and I'm doing

1:20

little pop guns.

1:20

Oh, come on. No, not at all. You

1:23

are sure fine. The fact that you pull your pants

1:25

down at the end, I don't think that's appropriate. That's appropriate, no.

1:27

I would lose that from the end. I'd

1:30

kiss my ass and wander off with the pants

1:32

around my bum. Yeah, and you'd put

1:34

a ... A carrot somewhere. A carrot in your ... And

1:36

then a cracker. It's a big showstopper. It is

1:38

a big showstopper. There used to be that guy who used to do

1:40

that, didn't there?

1:41

The British guy who used to put a cracker in his bum. Remember? That

1:44

was his big finish. Really? Chris someone.

1:47

Yeah, he used to put a cracker in his bum. And light it. It

1:49

is a good day of writing. He

1:52

wrote a few jokes and I'm going

1:54

to close with a cracker in my ass. A cracker in

1:56

my ass. Yeah. Now I was

1:59

doing ...

1:59

Speaking of which I was in Perth doing

2:02

automotive industry function for

2:05

about a thousand. So a

2:07

whole mixture of mechanics, spare parts,

2:10

mufflers, tires. It's

2:12

like you speak seven languages. You can

2:14

work to lawyers, to dentists, to

2:17

mechanics, to a

2:20

younger audience. Younger or harder

2:22

I reckon. Yeah but you can still do it. When

2:26

I see kids, my kids, I eat like 20

2:28

year olds. I'm like oh no. They still

2:30

laugh. Ah, sometimes. Joke's a joke.

2:32

Middle aged people are the best for me. But anyway, I don't

2:35

mind teenagers though. Teenagers are offering good fun. Yeah.

2:37

I had to sit on a table with people having dinner. And

2:39

I said what was that? And what do you

2:42

do? And I said I'm the CEO of

2:44

Tyre Power.

2:45

Australia,

2:46

New Zealand and Papua New

2:48

Guinea. And I went why do we Papua

2:50

New Guinea? He's like really?

2:53

Wow. And I said yeah I inherited the business from

2:55

my dad. You're a liar. I'm not

2:57

really into Tyres but I inherited the

2:59

business. Are people laughing? Yeah

3:01

I'm just, that's just, well one

3:03

of the guys knew who I was. He was laughing.

3:06

And I said yeah so if you

3:08

want to know anything about Tyres, then she asked me

3:11

a question about Tyres. I'm like oh god.

3:13

I'm in trouble now. No. And

3:15

then a British guy, then I said

3:17

I'm going to have a crack at comedy later too on the stage. I

3:20

do a bit of comedy part. I do everything. Yeah.

3:23

And the British guy goes I'm confused. I don't know. I

3:25

don't know what Tyre Power is. Tyre

3:27

Power is one of the biggest retail tyre outlets

3:30

in Australia. Tyre Power. Yeah it's up there with, I

3:32

said do not mention Bob Jane or,

3:35

well Bo Repairs near me. Alright, because they're the competition.

3:37

Alright. He's like oh okay. Just

3:39

shows that confident you are. Well I just imagine

3:41

what they thought when I walked on stage and didn't stand up. And

3:43

then you nailed it I did say. Yeah it was good. They

3:46

were like, look at that guy from Tyre Power. Who the

3:48

hell is good? Running a multi-million

3:51

dollar business that he has going. He just gets up and throws

3:53

his hand at a little bit of stand up and he absolutely

3:55

nails it. It is funny though when people

3:57

don't know you're a stand up and what they think you do. know

4:00

what I mean like. I did

4:02

stock agents and I sat down and got on the table with these older

4:04

guys and I was asking questions and this guy

4:06

goes, can I ask you a question? Who the

4:08

hell are you? You're asking a lot of

4:11

questions. I said I'm a comedian. He's like,

4:13

oh I thought you were a journalist. But I've also

4:15

been mistaken for a mind worker. Wow.

4:17

Yeah on a plane like this guy, are

4:20

you working in the mines? I'm like, I'm not working in the mines.

4:22

No. Because I get mistaken for I went

4:24

to school with you. Yeah I get that too. Yeah. But

4:27

I've also done that to a guy in Coles. I

4:29

said, hey mate did I go to school with you? And he goes, I'm

4:32

in Neighbours. Then

4:34

I go, what school did you go to anyway? Just

4:37

to sort of like try and cover your tracks.

4:39

But no. No. Yeah it's embarrassing.

4:42

Well you get a lot of people like, hey I know you

4:44

from somewhere. Yeah yeah I'm a comedian. No

4:46

that's not it. Were you a teacher in Dubbo?

4:49

No. No. Then they go, yes you

4:51

were. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

4:53

yeah. But also I get that thing where not

4:56

so much these days. When I was working with Husey. Dave

4:58

Hughes. How you going Dave Hughes? And I go, I'm not

5:00

Dave Hughes. Yeah you are. Yeah you are. Like you don't know

5:02

who you are. Yeah you are. I

5:04

skip calling. You call and come and I go, no I'm not going

5:06

to go to IE trying to be incognito. I'm

5:09

not. Yeah. But every

5:11

comedian like Adam Hills gets Will Anderson. Will

5:13

Anderson gets Adam Hills. Yeah. That's interesting.

5:16

It's you know. I don't know if that's fascinating.

5:18

Yeah. But I tell you the time. I used to get when

5:21

Mikey Robbins was on Good News Work. I

5:23

got him occasionally. Like I was seriously

5:25

in Byron Bay. This guy rode

5:27

past on a bicycle with dreadlocks. And

5:29

I'm in the front yard with the kids and he just goes, hey

5:32

Mikey Roberts in Byron Bay.

5:35

And he just kept riding along. Right. I

5:38

swear the next day he drove past in a minibus with

5:40

people on it. And he looked out the window and you're

5:42

everyone Mikey Robbins celebrity.

5:46

I'm not. Oh yes you are.

5:48

You've been spotted. You've been spotted.

5:51

You can't talk him out of it. Yeah. No

5:53

it's interesting. Anyway look

5:56

here comes the music. Yeah here

5:58

it comes. Welcome

6:05

to Somehow Related Now. Please welcome your hosts, Glenn Robbins and Dave O'Neill.

6:17

Well welcome to the podcast and

6:19

we get two topics and we're going to be going how

6:22

they are related. Somehow.

6:25

Somehow meaning like why

6:28

is it so? Yeah. Professor Sumner

6:30

Miller. The great man. Why is

6:32

it so? The great man. Why is it

6:34

so? Why is it so? Shall we get the topics?

6:36

Yeah.

6:37

Alright. Elon Musk and

6:39

satellites. Well I mean

6:39

come on Sam. I mean he

6:41

sent up a rocket ship didn't he? Remember that great

6:43

phallic rocket ship? No. Was

6:46

that him that seemed to look like a penis? That

6:48

was him wasn't it? Sent up the rocket ship? SpaceX.

6:51

Yeah that's him isn't it? He's done SpaceX. I must

6:54

have seen his rocket. You didn't see the rocket? No

6:56

he got mixed up because Virgin did one as well. It

6:58

was very phallic looking. Do

7:00

you reckon he knew? It looked like.

7:03

Because he'd have a rocket designer. Oh

7:05

that's a full on job. Well it's

7:07

not rocket science. Yeah

7:11

he's obsessed by going to Mars. He's

7:14

obsessed by settling on Mars. Why? Yeah

7:17

I know. It'd be hotter than bloody camera. Because

7:19

he just wants to go further. I mean he's

7:21

done everything. He's worth like $200 billion. Ok

7:24

here's a little quiz for you. Where does he make a

7:27

lot of his money? What thing that we all use

7:29

these days? Tissues. No

7:33

I don't think he was around for

7:35

the invention of tissues again. Dual

7:38

flush toilet. No. Ok

7:40

hang on hang on hang on. You would use it? We use it

7:42

all the time. A lot of people use it. A

7:44

lot of people use it all the time. Is

7:47

it something to do with? I'm

7:50

thinking technology. Yeah technology. Think

7:52

of your average bargain somewhere.

7:55

They use it. Barbecue.

7:59

That's a... PayPal.

8:02

PayPal. He was involved in the invention

8:04

and the selling of art. That's not really it. Hello

8:07

to all the tokens out there. People use PayPal.

8:10

Don't you reckon a lot of people use PayPal? You're

8:12

saying PayPal's not highfalutin. It's lowfalutin.

8:15

It's easy to use. I've never used it. Oh,

8:17

okay. I just have people that are telling me to get

8:20

it. Yeah, going by. Get some cash. Don't

8:22

worry about it. Anyway, that's how he... But he came

8:24

from a wealthy background. He's South African.

8:26

South African? One of seven kids or something. Little

8:28

Little Elon, come on mate. We

8:31

can't do this. No, he's a white South

8:33

African. Wealthy background.

8:35

Went to uni. Quite smart though. Very

8:37

smart. Physics and stuff. Is he...

8:40

Are we allowed to talk about... He acknowledges

8:42

that he is Asperger. Oh

8:45

yeah, he talked about that on a TV show, didn't

8:47

he? Yeah. So he acknowledges that. Yeah.

8:50

Which the diagnosis of someone with Asperger's

8:52

is that they're very focused. They're

8:54

very... Yeah, it's a form of autism, isn't it? Yeah.

8:57

Brains of autism. Yeah, on the spectrum of. Yes.

9:00

Which means that they are incredibly good at... Something.

9:03

Playing piano. Maths. My Rain

9:06

Man. Rain Man had Asperger's, didn't he? He's a

9:08

very... That would be why he's so successful.

9:11

His ability to focus, take

9:13

things further. And rather than be

9:15

just someone that comes up with a... What did he come

9:17

up with again? PayPal. PayPal.

9:21

He's going, no, no, no. I'm going to do it. But does he do it

9:23

or does he go, I've got lots of money. I'm going to get someone

9:25

to do it for me. Yeah, I don't know if he invented PayPal.

9:28

I just know he was involved in the... And

9:30

then he sold it for a lot of money. Because

9:32

he came across a good idea. It's the smart one who knows what's a good idea. And

9:34

also had to put it into action. Yes. Like,

9:37

have you ever been part of an idea that wasn't

9:40

a success and then it was and then you picked

9:42

it? Yeah. Have

9:44

you? No, but I'm like you. I think of TV show

9:47

ideas and then three years later you see it on TV show. Yeah,

9:49

yeah. I had a very similar idea than that but that's...

9:52

And I've had people... You didn't act on it, you know. Yeah.

9:55

I've always thought that would be interesting and I didn't act

9:57

on it. I didn't see that. And I've had ideas.

10:00

described to me and I have actually

10:02

gone like the movie

10:04

Elantana I didn't think it was very good and

10:06

it you're in it I read the script and

10:08

went well you know I'm famous for telling

10:10

Eric Bennett don't do a movie about Chopper Reid would

10:12

you do that and I've had

10:15

other people tell me ideas that have gone on I

10:17

won't say the shows but they I've

10:19

gone it's not a bad idea ended

10:21

up being massive yeah

10:23

and he's and then other times I've gone that

10:26

is gonna be a cracker of an idea and

10:29

yeah but having said that my

10:31

radar is pretty good yeah

10:33

yeah we go is this just any idea

10:36

or just TV ideas no I'm gonna have for dinner yeah

10:40

I was saying what do you want to have for dinner I

10:42

don't know anymore how do you answer that question

10:45

because I'm whatever I say she's not gonna feel like yeah yeah

10:47

yeah it's tends to be the it's a it's

10:49

a really tough that's probably the one of the biggest

10:52

decisions you make you know I

10:54

was at the gym yesterday and the guy always

10:56

Jim said what are you having for dinner good

10:58

question you know we sent me to a spiral no

11:00

but you know we are having a lot of

11:02

hmm I'm

11:03

telling you whoever invented this must

11:06

be like Elon Musk lasagna nope

11:09

can you get instant noodles it's in it's

11:11

been around for a while but no boneless

11:14

chicken those ones in the coming of

11:16

pack with no it's chicken with no bones

11:18

on it oh not in

11:20

a can not chicken in

11:23

a can it comes it's a chicken a whole

11:25

chicken that got no bones in it and

11:28

you can lay it on the barbecue we can put it in the oven

11:30

oh wow and every you can just go whole

11:32

hog it every cuz you know I don't like the how do they get the bones

11:35

out well that is

11:37

the genius of it that's a guy called

11:39

Keith he's Keith Keith the chicken last

11:42

chicken the boner chicken yeah

11:45

so that's what we were having

11:47

last night anyway in answer to his question

11:49

and he said I did the same thing great on the barbecue

11:52

not my nose but he caught when you you

11:54

know when you put it in juice for a

11:57

while whatever yeah

11:59

anyway You always want to do that and then it says do

12:02

it overnight. You're like, oh, I can't do it overnight.

12:06

What's the word for that? Yeah, it's a word. Oh,

12:08

God. People are yelling at them. No,

12:10

we'll fall off each tractor. Oh,

12:13

I had it. Not based. It's,

12:15

you got to... Not sautéed. Oh,

12:18

God. Mornay.

12:23

No. No. Marinate.

12:29

Marinate. Thank God. You know, we never got it. Is

12:32

this sad? Is this sad?

12:34

Well, as long as you get it eventually. Marinate. Anyway,

12:36

so yeah, it's marinated in a plastic bag. Suddenly

12:39

you have a Greek one. You can have a... Oh,

12:41

wow. Yeah. We had Greek last night. Hello.

12:46

Yes, sir. What's on for the night? Not today.

12:49

Having a bit of Greek style tonight. Not today. Now

12:55

I know where you get the bones out of the chicken. Boom, boom. So

12:59

Tesla. Yeah, he was involved

13:01

with Tesla, absolutely. Which was going to be the ultimate

13:04

electric car. And you know where he makes most of his money

13:06

out of Tesla? It's carbon offsets

13:09

or whatever. The government pay him every time he makes

13:11

an electric car. So

13:13

it doesn't actually turn a profit within

13:16

itself. Because of the carbon offset or whatever.

13:19

Okay. I think he's a bit... He's

13:21

a bit of an idiot, isn't he? He says some

13:23

crazy stuff. Well, I was going to give

13:25

him a call, but I won't. I love the... During

13:28

COVID, he said, I'm not taking a vaccine. I'm not

13:30

going to get COVID. Then he got COVID two weeks

13:32

later. And some guy, some

13:34

journalist call him Space Karen. He's a Space

13:37

Karen. Because he loves space

13:39

and he's like a Karen. He complains and stuff. And then he

13:41

said, I know we've taken the vaccine. We've all taken it.

13:43

I remember he had to go at the rescues.

13:46

And that was him had to go at the rescues. In Thailand. Yeah,

13:48

yeah. That go with them? Yeah, that was him

13:50

on Musk, wasn't it? Because every signal provide

13:53

a submarine. He's going to provide

13:55

a submarine. He insinuated one of them was

13:57

like a pedophile or something. He was like, oh, it's

13:59

a bit weird. Okay, when I hear

14:01

the word Elon Musk, what do I always

14:03

think of? You might

14:05

get it. Lollies. Oh, Mustics.

14:08

Yes. Yeah, I love Mustics. What

14:10

is a Mustic for those who... It's a Mustic... It's

14:13

sort of like solidified icing sugar kind of.

14:15

And it's in a star shape and a long stick.

14:18

Yeah, yeah. Most out-laces are no Mustics. There's

14:20

also fruit sticks. You would get a bag

14:22

of lollies and then you often have

14:24

a Mustic sticking out. But isn't it

14:26

interesting? I had some Mustics the other day

14:29

and I had some Must Lifesavers. I

14:31

love the flavor mask. What

14:33

flavor is it? What do you reckon my kids say it tastes like?

14:36

For people that are doing great with masks, what do you reckon it tastes

14:38

like to a kid? So, yeah, because

14:41

it's very perfumey. Oh, yeah.

14:44

I mean, obviously it's very sugary. It's from an animal.

14:47

Really? Yeah, it's from an animal.

14:49

I don't think any more. It's obviously made in labs. Like

14:51

vanilla. Vanilla happens naturally, doesn't it? Yeah. Because

14:54

I'm drinking... Do you want to hear about it? My yogurt,

14:56

not drinking. My yogurt at the

14:58

moment has got a hint of vanilla. Love it. Love

15:01

it. Because it just tastes like boring Greek. What's

15:03

the wrong with the Greek yogurt? I've already

15:05

talked about Greek. The Greeks?

15:08

They invented a lot of stuff. They

15:10

used to do the Olympics in the nude. That's got to be tough.

15:13

Imagine wrestling. You're fighting that

15:15

guy over there. I just did a shower

15:17

today. How

15:20

many kids? Seven.

15:23

Ten. Ten kids. Ten

15:25

kids. Can you name any of his partners? I

15:28

only know because Kieran likes one of the artists

15:31

that he was... He had Grimes,

15:33

who's like a rapper artist.

15:36

Grimes? Like a musician. So he's

15:38

got ten kids. And

15:40

Grimes and him had a kid and they named it a symbol. Then

15:43

they couldn't register it because it was like Greek

15:46

alphabet or something like that. Back to the Greeks. You

15:48

know Prince was a symbol. You

15:50

know Prince became a symbol. I didn't know

15:52

this. He had a fight with his record company. It was all about royalties and

15:54

stuff. So he turned himself into a symbol. Anyway

15:58

Elon Musk, I reckon he's a bit nutty. I

16:00

really reckon he is. Do you know about his mum?

16:02

She's a model. 74

16:05

year old model. Oh really? I think she's in Sports Illustrated

16:09

as a model at 74. So seeing your mum in a bikini.

16:12

A friend of mine talked about the fact that his mum couldn't get

16:14

out of the bath one time and so had to

16:16

go and he said I've been traumatised. Had to see my

16:18

mum in the nude. Very

16:20

traumatised. Yeah not good. What

16:22

did he just bought? Did he buy? What were those big ones? Twitter.

16:25

You bought Twitter. Called X. Oh

16:27

so it's not called Twitter anymore? No it's called X. It's

16:29

called X. Oh that's gonna kill us? And

16:31

then he started selling those blue ticks. He could buy

16:34

one. You know when like celebrities used to get a blue tick

16:36

or whatever? It was a big deal. I've got a blue

16:38

tick. Oh yeah because when you see the blue tick you

16:41

know it's legit. Yeah that's

16:43

how I... So you can buy a blue tick?

16:45

You can buy a blue tick now. Oh that? Well he's stuffed

16:47

it then. Yeah he's trying to make money I think. That's

16:50

a shame. You liked Twitter didn't you? Yeah

16:52

yeah. Used to go a little crazy. Yeah

16:54

well. Big hitters. Yeah my daughter dobbed on me

16:56

to my wife so I've got offered at the moment. What

16:58

have you got so far? You've got Twitter? You've got

17:01

Instagram? Facebook. Facebook. That's

17:03

Pornhub. LinkedIn.

17:05

I made the mistake of saying yes

17:07

to LinkedIn once because I thought I'll do the right thing

17:09

for the industry. And then he's got all this

17:12

stuff coming at me. Yeah do you want to do a course in...

17:14

Yeah and do you want to be my friend and you go... For

17:16

me or you LinkedIn's no good. For

17:18

like my sister-in-law who works in the corporate world, very

17:21

good because they learn about jobs and stuff and they

17:23

network but for us no good. Do you

17:25

give my LinkedIn story they don't know? My sister-in-law

17:28

said get on LinkedIn you'll get some gigs out of it. Right

17:30

so and what happens you sign up

17:32

you put your degree whatever you've got qualifications

17:35

and then it has this big thing it says are you

17:37

looking for work? And then I press

17:39

a big green button that says yes. And

17:41

then it brings up potential jobs for you like

17:44

the old CS job board. Yeah and the job

17:47

that they offered me they offered me a few jobs this

17:49

one made me laugh assistant

17:51

manager at Nando's not

17:54

even the manager. Already it was well worth it.

17:58

But not even the manager. Imagine

18:00

me working at Nando's a 58 and there'd be some 23 year

18:02

old lording it over me. Get those chips

18:04

over here. Do you know what happened to David now? He

18:07

used LinkedIn, stopped doing stand up. Assistant manager.

18:10

Assistant manager. The king of peri peri

18:12

sauce. He gives you extra chips. And

18:15

he does, he gives you extra chicken. Peri peri

18:17

sauce darling. And he's tried to introduce the boneless chicken

18:19

to them and they won't have it. No, you

18:21

know what? I don't have any of those. No

18:23

you don't. And you know what I do? No. I

18:26

have someone in my life that knows what's going

18:28

on. I don't know who that person is. You know

18:30

what? You. Oh me?

18:33

Yep. I always know. But hang

18:35

on, are you a lurker? Which is what they call, so someone

18:38

like, they call Matt Damon an Instagram lurker.

18:41

Because celebrities often, they have accounts where

18:43

they can film books. Oh I'm one of those. Yeah you can

18:45

look at other people's stuff but you don't. Yeah no,

18:47

I'm a lurker. But

18:49

only on Instagram. Sounds a bit like a perv.

18:53

A lurker. Everyone's a lurker. I'm a lurker,

18:55

yeah because my nephew in Canada.

18:58

So you want to see what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah and

19:00

he then got back to me last night going, oh I didn't think

19:02

you actually used it. Now you say you

19:04

are looking. And I'm like, yeah I'm looking all the time. Yeah

19:06

you're looking. You're looking. Well I'm looking what I say

19:08

all the time. I allow myself to

19:10

look at it around about seven o'clock till about, yeah

19:14

you know what I'm doing. I'm in a cult. You're

19:17

doing doom scrolling. Yeah I just go, boom, boom, boom. And

19:20

I go, no. No, it's no, Sajamedia's no

19:22

good. It really is

19:24

like eating white bread. It's no

19:26

good. White bread, I haven't seen that white, fresh white

19:28

bread. Yeah. A little butter. It's

19:31

good. A little bit of butter. I know

19:33

he bought James

19:35

Wan's car. I wonder why he wanted to do that. I

19:38

mean would you. It's another warning sign I reckon.

19:41

Yeah I mean buying stuff that you put it in the back

19:43

there. Yeah is that buying John Lennon's guitar or something?

19:46

He says there you go. You know they say around

19:48

his house he says he can use guitar that is. John Lennon's.

19:51

Yeah.

19:52

I suppose it'd be right if you put it in a box probably. Look at it. Look

19:55

at it. Is that enough value

19:57

I must. I reckon. If I said to you you

19:59

can have it.

19:59

a trip to anywhere would you go and want

20:02

to be space trips? Yeah definitely.

20:04

You would you get on board. Yeah would you? They

20:07

do blow up occasionally though that's a problem. He's rocket

20:09

blue. No these things crash just the once. Yeah.

20:14

I would give it some thought but

20:16

I would probably end up going. Yeah I'd go.

20:19

And I reckon there'd be naysayers out there

20:21

saying don't do it. Yeah of course. Yeah.

20:24

Well I floated the idea with Karen said no

20:26

I can't go because of our children.

20:28

So. Take them too. Maybe when they're

20:30

older. Yeah but take them too. Yeah. Well

20:32

if there's anyone listening that can make it happen

20:35

give us a call. And

20:37

you'd be fun to go up with you'd be making jokes all the

20:39

way up there. Good fun. Because it lasts about seven

20:41

minutes or so. Yeah it doesn't go that long.

20:44

I mean it's all over and done with. It's

20:46

like getting a feeling. It's right about the same amount of

20:48

time. Fun. Satellites. Oh

20:50

okay satellites.

20:54

All I know is that there's an amazing thing about

20:56

satellites above us now. Whereas

20:59

say 20 years ago that would have been a hundred a

21:01

thousand. I think there's

21:04

at least two or three thousand. I read an article in the magazine

21:06

about it. There's an amount of space junk up

21:08

there. And you know

21:10

that's why the International Space Station was delayed

21:12

in coming back because

21:15

space junk hit them. They got hit by space junk. And

21:18

that would be like a satellite.

21:21

An old satellite. An old satellite. It's not working anymore.

21:23

And now they make these little satellites that

21:26

are say as big as a picnic basket.

21:28

Yep. And they send them up and they're like

21:31

disposable. They only work for a certain amount of time.

21:33

It's terrible. Because you can see

21:35

them in the sky sometimes. Oh isn't it great when you see

21:37

one. Yeah. Because you go star star star.

21:39

Oh there's something moving along pretty quickly. Okay.

21:43

Name is the famous satellite. Go. Sputnik.

21:47

Skylab. Yes. Remember Skylab?

21:50

When it crashed in western Australia. No.

21:53

Eighties or seventies. Yeah. Because you can go to the Skylab

21:55

museum in Esperance. Because when I was going to... was

22:00

there, Fleety? There was a few of us on the Comedy

22:02

Festival tour. They had a Skylab museum

22:04

I convinced you to go along with. So it

22:07

crashed in the 80s did it? Yeah

22:09

it was the 80s I reckon. And then they phoned all the remnants

22:11

and put it in this museum. And what happened?

22:14

Well it didn't hit anyone, it was in the desert. It wasn't manned?

22:16

No. No. Because the lights aren't manned. No, no. There

22:19

was one that... That's one that... There

22:21

was one that... Because I went to a park the other

22:23

day, down in... I forget what suburb it was in, but

22:26

in the park, in the kids playing park, they built a UFO. Oh

22:28

great. And it was based around the UFO that landed

22:31

in the school. Oh yeah, yeah I know. Yeah

22:33

that one is back in the 60s. Yes. And

22:36

I think it rolled through and it was like a silver

22:38

and weird looking and it ended up being I think

22:41

a Russian weather satellite.

22:43

Oh great. Yeah right. And with

22:45

little men working in it with big nostrils. They

22:47

were green but anyway. Why is it weird

22:49

nostrils along fingers? I know, the aliens

22:51

always look the same. Aliens really... I don't

22:54

know. They need to... It's

22:56

a great thing. We can map the world.

22:59

Mm hmm. Because they used to do... It's also a bad

23:02

thing. Because it's intrusive?

23:05

Yeah I think so. Do you reckon? Well

23:07

it's used for warfare, you know. We've seen

23:10

all those war moves and the satellite photos of the

23:12

guys and... Yeah but I can now

23:14

know how long the hole is. Yeah.

23:17

With my GPS which is on my wrist. Find

23:19

my phone, is that the satellite? You know,

23:21

find my phone. So all my kids' phones

23:24

are all attached to my phone and my wife's

23:26

phone. And so we can see where the kids are

23:28

at any moment because of their own... Let's get them

23:30

to do a satellite. It works. I

23:33

don't know, is it? I'm no expert.

23:35

How does the phone know where you are? Well it goes through

23:37

an app. Or something, I don't know. It

23:39

goes through an app because it knows where it is... Oh

23:41

yeah, no you're right. Because it knows where you are on Google

23:43

Maps and Google Maps is satellites. That's

23:45

satellite, isn't it? But it's not good because you know the other

23:48

day like... You know, Kara rings me up. Are

23:50

you in a drive-thru? I'm like, what? Yeah.

23:53

And you weren't? You were at a strip club. Oh why? My

23:55

car had broken down and the good people at McDonald's were

23:58

helping push it. All

24:00

I know is I bought, this

24:03

is weird, not weird, and probably

24:05

going to go duh, but I want to get

24:07

a new diary because I like to get my diary a

24:09

few months. Paper diary? Yeah,

24:12

is it toning your voice? Mm-hmm.

24:15

Oh, whatever. Okay, and Frank,

24:17

you got your diary, mate. Yeah,

24:20

what's in your diary? No, I wanted to get a new diary so I

24:22

had to look it up. So, I

24:24

go bingo bingo on my computer, diary, ordered

24:27

and by the way it's coming today. Okay, new diary, paper

24:29

diary, week to an opening, pen and

24:31

paper. This is for next year.

24:34

Again. You know you're getting old, aren't you? Well, but hang

24:36

on, what about... Am I going to go to the post

24:38

office tomorrow and you're up in front of the queue holding me up?

24:41

Oh, for fucks. And I'll be chatting. I'll

24:43

be chatting about... How long have you run this? Tell

24:46

me, how does it work to post office? Now,

24:49

I've got to pay my gas bill. I pay

24:51

my gas bill here. Yes. So,

24:53

my point being, then I went

24:55

to Instagram. Yeah. Am I?

24:58

A lurker. You're a lurker on the graph. I

25:00

reckon there were... On Instagram,

25:02

which has nothing to do with my computer,

25:04

my iMac, Instagram,

25:06

I reckon 28 ads for diaries

25:09

came up on Instagram. Yeah, that's what the cookies

25:11

do. You know when they say cookies, allow cookies?

25:14

That's just... It's just a tracking system. Yeah.

25:17

My phone doesn't do this anymore. I get in my car

25:19

and turn it on and I go, oh, 28 minutes to... And

25:22

it would tell me where I'm about to go because it went

25:24

there last Thursday. Oh, wow. That's

25:26

interesting. It doesn't do it anymore. No. Because

25:29

it knows where you... It goes, oh, well,

25:31

you went to this destination. Yeah. You

25:33

went to, you know, Daily Planet. I promise. It's

25:36

a newspaper in

25:38

Superman. You went to get

25:40

a special massage at this place. Yeah, tender

25:43

hands. Yeah. There's a thing now

25:45

on the thing where you turn it off because it's like both

25:48

of our phones are listening to us. Oh, it's not good.

25:51

I think it's good. And that

25:53

would be your saying, connected to the satellites.

25:56

I think phones are satellites, aren't

25:58

they? My

26:00

brother occasionally when he was in Africa, Glen,

26:02

my twin, he would ring me from a satellite phone.

26:05

I've got a satellite phone here in Somalia, I'm ringing

26:07

you from the satellite phone. That was the very first

26:10

thing. That was the thing if you ever went out into the bush or

26:12

you'd have a satellite phone. Russell

26:14

Coot satellite phone? Yeah, satellite phone. It was running first. But

26:17

that's where it's good, isn't it? Oh,

26:19

that's great. The beacon. I

26:22

tell you. E-Perb. I was

26:24

in that hiking shop buying a raincoat from one

26:26

of my kids who was going on a hike or something and someone

26:28

was getting a beacon to take to Tasmania. You can

26:30

hire him to set off when you...

26:33

That's an E-Perb. Yeah. And the guy

26:35

goes, okay, here is the beacon.

26:37

Do not set it off if

26:40

you're running out of food. Do not set

26:42

it off if you get wet. Do

26:44

not. Because the police will be coming. Yeah,

26:47

you get lifted. It's an alert and they go, someone's

26:49

in trouble. Oh, I know

26:51

because Dave O'Neill is down in the shops and he can't find his

26:53

car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No big deal.

26:56

Well, look. So that's defence, intelligence,

26:59

imagery. Communication. Entertainment.

27:02

Because I remember back in the day, television would come

27:04

in, we've got the satellite booked between 8

27:06

and 8.15. Yeah, they

27:08

bought that satellite. That's right. And then the satellite would drop out. But

27:11

nowadays... Was that

27:14

for live crosses? Yeah. Because at

27:16

first it was by coaxial

27:18

cable. That's right, God, you're good. By

27:21

coaxial cable, that was a cable that ran through

27:23

the ocean. It's probably still there. There's a cable

27:25

that ran through the ocean all the way to the US. Oh,

27:28

no, still there. They still use it. They

27:30

still use it. And occasionally the cable gets cut.

27:33

Because of... You know there's a cable that runs from

27:35

Melbourne to Hope, Tasmania, with power.

27:38

Oh, really? We send them power. Yeah. And

27:41

it got disturbed the other day. And

27:43

then... Someone kicked out the double adapter. A

27:46

shark. Didn't you talk about...

27:49

You met the guy that did the computer? In

27:51

Malaysia. In Malaysia? And he said, watch this. I'm going to turn

27:53

off all the... I'm going to turn off the internet. Yeah,

27:57

different cables. One for Facebook. Well, you're

27:59

controversial. going to get a daily mail

28:01

article written about you saying that the satellites

28:04

are intrusive and bad and

28:06

that you're going to be struck off. They're

28:08

also good. Because

28:10

all the good they do is saving people. I mean,

28:13

you often read about people who would go sailing

28:15

and they got that e-purp. Without the e-purbs, without

28:18

sending you to Hobart, you're e-purbs. You

28:21

don't know where these people are. Anyway, except, I mean,

28:23

how do they lose an airplane,

28:26

the Malaysian Airline one that just went missing?

28:29

You know, with all the satellites, you know what I mean? They just lost

28:31

their plane. Yeah. I mean, there's

28:33

a lot of ocean out there. There's a lot of ocean.

28:36

No, there's aliens. Aliens. There's

28:38

a lot of ocean out there. A lot of aliens. Only

28:40

got to accidentally go

28:42

for a walk in the bush. This is safe. Like,

28:45

we went for a walk in the bush the other day, not far from a

28:47

park with a grandchild, and suddenly

28:49

the track went the wrong way. Yeah, you get lost. It's

28:51

so easy to lose your bearings. Yep.

28:54

Next thing you're in a cave eating a Mars bar. Why are

28:56

you eating a Mars bar? I remember that was a famous case in

28:58

the guy who survived on a Mars bar and he's on 60 Minutes.

29:01

Oh, really? I didn't know about that. The Mars

29:03

bar guy? I remember the guy that got lost in a rock

29:05

fell on his hand. He had to cut his hand off. Oh, that's

29:07

horrific. Okay, so we have some thinking music?

29:10

Yeah. Elon Musk doing a speech.

29:13

Oh, God. How about the noise

29:15

satellites? Just for a couple of minutes we hear the noise.

29:18

Sputnik. How about the landing of Sputnik?

29:21

The landing of it? It landed back

29:23

in the ocean or something? Yeah.

29:26

How about we

29:31

do a recreation of what it's like

29:33

to live in the, what's the name,

29:35

the space station? International

29:37

space station. Because you know the Russians sleep in one end, the Americans sleep in the other,

29:40

and there's Europeans there as well. People do like a caravan. Yeah,

29:42

it's very indicating. How

29:45

about I'll be

29:48

an Australian that's

29:51

not very popular? Okay. Alright.

29:54

For a number of reasons. I'll be an American. I'll

29:56

be an American in charge or the Russian in charge. Where

29:58

do you want to be? Russia? your Glenn.

30:01

That's good. My accent is going to be bad. Okay.

30:03

And I will be, will I be Glenn? Yeah. I'll

30:05

be Glenn. Yeah. And I'm on the space, I've just come

30:08

up here. And you've been annoying people.

30:10

Yeah, they've done a little. Okay. Here we go. Do

30:12

it. I'll just up the end. Okay,

30:14

I'll call you in. Yeah.

30:23

A three letter word. Great

30:26

domestic animals. Glenn,

30:28

Glenn is commander

30:31

Sordunov here. What's a three letter word?

30:33

I am a commander of the International Space Station. I need to talk

30:35

to you Glenn. Glenn, a domestic animal

30:38

starting with C. I think it might be a cat. Even

30:40

though I'm watching. Oh yeah, a cat. Glenn,

30:42

there's been some talk. We've had a bit of a vote and

30:45

it's become known to us that you have

30:47

become unpopular on this space station because we

30:49

are in confined spaces Glenn. Just hang

30:51

on a second. Yeah.

30:53

That was one of the things that came up your constant sniffing

30:56

and snobbing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

30:58

That's something that I have to do. I wrote

31:00

it on my application that I have to do

31:02

that. And I also occasionally

31:05

I do have some stomach problems and occasionally,

31:08

yes, that was a burp you

31:10

may have just heard. Glenn, this is another thing

31:12

that has come up with the burping, the sniveling,

31:15

the constant. Yeah.

31:17

The clearing of the throat. Oh, yeah.

31:21

I can confine space here. Yeah. Yeah.

31:23

But, but, but I

31:26

did put on my form that I do

31:28

have a stomach problem. Occasionally I

31:30

will do this. That

31:33

was one. Okay. Again,

31:36

the farting is constantly inside.

31:38

It's not farting. It's like a caravan here. It's

31:41

not farting. It's me just dealing

31:43

with it. Excuse me. And now

31:47

it's stinking in here. Anyway, I get

31:49

to the point. What about me is so

31:51

unpopular? Well, it's the throat clearing,

31:53

the burping, the farting, the constant name dropping.

31:56

Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Look at the window. Look at the window.

31:58

See that? See that? lights down over

32:00

there. If I told you that's my

32:02

place. The big noting. The

32:05

big noting. Yeah. The name dropping. And you

32:07

know who I live next to? Who? Normie Rowe. Normie

32:09

Rowe the singer. You don't know who Normie

32:13

Rowe is. And guess what we have

32:15

every Sunday night when we have sieg.

32:17

We have schnitzel with salad and chips.

32:20

See this is boring. You

32:22

are boring, burping, farting,

32:24

throat clearing. We

32:27

have decided. Did I take you the start

32:29

of the time? Did I spend

32:31

a, I went on a trip with

32:34

all the footballers from Maribyrnong?

32:37

Yeah again Glenn you've told us ten

32:39

times and then you show us. And we go around

32:41

a petrol. And we've seen the photos of your renovation.

32:45

Alright

32:48

so we've decided

32:50

that you need to go outside and clean the windows. Give

32:52

us a bit of a break. Bit of a Glenn free time in

32:55

here. So put on your space suit.

32:58

Put it on. Get

33:00

into the vacuum seal. What do you want me

33:02

to do? Go outside and clean the windows. Here's the squeeze.

33:04

How do I get out the door? Yeah just open the door. I'll

33:06

just lift this lever here. Alright I'll

33:09

talk to you over the radio. Okay which windows

33:11

do you want? Where's the windex?

33:13

Yeah just clean the window.

33:15

Okay I'm out here.

33:18

So much better than here isn't it? Okay

33:21

Flattamog cut all the cables. Cut

33:23

him. Set him free. Hey hey

33:24

hey. Bye bye.

33:47

Wow incredible.

33:48

Yeah alright if you had an annoying habit it

33:51

would be highlighted on the space. So

33:53

what is your answer for this? What

33:55

is it Elon Musk and satellites? Yeah I

33:58

know exactly what this is. got his

34:00

own private one. Oh he'd have several? Well

34:02

that's no big deal to have your own private

34:05

satellite. Yeah I think they're like okay

34:08

well I'm gonna say with

34:10

okay he's got five private ones. Five

34:13

private satellites. Yeah they're just there

34:15

so he can find his... I

34:18

think maybe Elon's must dad invented some

34:20

sort of satellite. Maybe he's involved in

34:22

the Sputnik or the Skylab. I think

34:24

his dad was involved in some satellites somehow. I

34:27

don't know. We don't know. What is the answer Sam?

34:29

Elon Musk owns more satellites

34:31

than the US and Russia combined.

34:34

SpaceX started launching Starlink

34:36

satellites in 2019 as of August 2023. It consists

34:39

of over 5,000 mass-produced

34:44

small satellites in low earth orbit

34:46

which communicate with designated ground

34:49

transceivers. Nearly 12,000 satellites

34:52

are planned to be deployed with a possible

34:54

later extension to 42,000. Oh that's

34:58

frightening. Yeah that means

35:00

he could control the world.

35:08

You have been listening to somehow related

35:11

with Glenn Robbins and Dave

35:12

O'Neill's.

35:20

So he could go into his office and

35:22

go... Hello Elon. What is Elon by the

35:24

way? Is that short for something? That's

35:32

a good question. How do

35:34

you spell it? Elon? Elon? Elon.

35:38

Elon Musk. I think it might

35:41

be. Mr. and Mrs. Musk. Yeah I think he

35:43

might be. Mr.

35:52

and Mrs. Mustang. He

35:54

married a woman called Grimes. Grimes Musk. Anyway

35:59

look Has Elon Musk

36:01

done more good for the world or more bad for the world?

36:04

Oh, more good. Might as well borderline I reckon. Oh

36:07

really? Yeah, I don't know. You're a bit of an old lefty

36:09

like that aren't you? Yeah, I'm not on his

36:11

case but you know I need to know more

36:14

about him. You know what I mean. I want to

36:16

do, I don't think, does he give a lot of money away? You know

36:18

the good thing about Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, they

36:20

give money to, you know, Bill Gates does

36:22

an amazing thing in Africa. Yeah.

36:25

And, and sitting with Warren Buffet, but I don't

36:27

know about Elon. Elon could maybe give some money

36:29

to us.

36:30

Yeah. To support this which talks

36:33

about him. Well you'd think he could solve

36:35

world public just like that, world hunger but he

36:37

chooses that. Well you would think he would

36:39

have, even if he just took like a third of what he's got. Yeah.

36:43

Solving world hunger is a big one. Just like that. Remember

36:46

that great joke, remember that girl joke about we know

36:48

Bono is at their concert? Bono from

36:50

U2 goes, every

36:53

time, how's your direction? Every

36:56

time I click my fingers, a

36:59

child dies in poverty. There's

37:01

some block you yell at. Well stop clicking your fucking

37:03

fingers!