0:00

You know I like to help.

0:03

I'm a good Samaritan. I'm a good guy. Yeah,

0:05

you're a good neighbourly person. Not all heroes

0:07

wear capes, as we say. But

0:11

no, the other night on a plane, you know, we got

0:13

on a plane a bit, went to Darwin, which is nice. Went

0:15

for a swim, they've got a city back there. Performing

0:17

my own spinal surgery is good for me!

0:20

Ah!

0:21

Definitely not. New

0:23

heart-healthy Beyond Steak. This changes

0:26

everything. You know I like to help.

0:28

I'm a good Samaritan. I'm a good guy.

0:30

Yeah, you're a good neighbourly person. Not all heroes

0:33

wear capes, as we say.

0:35

But no, the other night on a plane, you know, we got on a plane a bit,

0:37

went to Darwin, which is nice. Went

0:40

for a swim, they've got a city beach there. Was

0:42

the water okay? Oh, it was beautiful. Was it

0:44

clear? Well, this was the thing. It's brown, isn't

0:46

it? Yeah, I go to the renter car joint, and I'm like,

0:48

where can you swim around here? And the guy's like,

0:51

oh mate, swim around here. And I'm like, where can you swim

0:53

around here? And I'm like, where can you swim around

0:55

here? And the guy's like, oh mate, swim wherever you want. Just

0:58

swim in the bay. Dive out it! There are

1:00

crocs up there. Yeah, and the woman in the hotel goes, don't swim

1:02

in the bay. He's an idiot. So I

1:04

was driving along, and

1:05

I saw a guy who looked like he swam. He

1:07

looked like a suntan. I said, mate, where do you swim? He goes, go

1:09

swim at the city beach, which is all netted

1:11

off. And that was beautiful.

1:12

It's just like a warm bath.

1:15

But it was still salt water. But was

1:17

it, what colour was it? Yeah, it was brown. Same

1:19

as when you go to Port Douglas.

1:21

It's a dirty brown colour. It's

1:24

weird. Yeah, no. Yeah,

1:26

it was brown. Anyway,

1:29

so anyway, I had to get

1:31

off the plane. I was coming back from

1:33

Orange. I did a gig in Orange. How did

1:36

you get out there? Yeah,

1:37

and I've been a fan of this podcast in Orange,

1:39

actually. Hello to him. Anyway, so

1:41

there was an

1:44

old lady in front of me struggling to get

1:46

her bag down from the overhead

1:48

locker. Yep. And you know when there's all people

1:51

behind you, it's all

1:52

banking up. Yeah. So I said, look, I'll

1:54

get it. I'll get it. And I've got it

1:56

down, and bloody hell, it was heavy. And I said, and

1:59

she's trying to get it down. I said I'll carry it. I'll

2:01

carry it for you. So I carry it all

2:03

the way out the plane up the gate, right?

2:06

No, it was her bag. It was absolutely her

2:08

bag and and I said, oh, do

2:10

you want me to keep carrying it? And she went no, no,

2:12

no, no, give it to me. Give it to me. And I'm like,

2:14

are you sure? I'll carry it. What's the fruter's wife? It's

2:16

Marika. It's Marika. Okay. Yeah,

2:21

she was Italian. Mom,

2:23

give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. And

2:25

she I felt like such an idiot. She

2:28

grabbed it off me and just pulled these wheels

2:30

down and just wheeled off with it. I've been carrying it the

2:33

whole time. What

2:35

an idiot. Cuz I don't have a wheelie bag.

2:37

I've just got like a bag I carry over my shoulder.

2:40

Yeah, well, I had an incident.

2:43

I too was an idiot.

2:45

And I was in the front seat of my car. I

2:48

leant forward because someone

2:50

had got into my car with sandy feet. I

2:53

didn't like the sandy feet. I didn't like it. You don't like it.

2:55

Not in the Audi. Not in the Audi. In the

2:57

beach space. And there was two big footprints. I

2:59

said while I'm down the car park at the beach, I'll

3:02

reach over. I'll lift up the mat. Now the mat's

3:04

a little attachment

3:07

thing. So you got to lean over and you get, oh, hang on, it's

3:09

like coming off. So then I push a bit further

3:11

and I go click and then something goes in my back. And

3:14

I know you see it in the cartoons.

3:16

You see it, you know, people turn, oh, I'm about, I did

3:18

my back. And I went, that

3:20

felt a bit odd. I have

3:22

been in, we had to put

3:25

off doing the podcast because I had to get to the Myotherapist

3:27

was that bad. I've been in a lot of pain

3:29

the past four days and look at what they've

3:31

done to me. Oh my God, they strapped

3:33

your back up. Yeah, you've got strapping

3:36

on your back. Are there any,

3:38

she poked me, got me with needles? I can't

3:40

see needle marks, but she strapped your back. Strapped

3:42

me up and I must admit when I do,

3:44

if I do have a bit of strapping on, it's

3:47

a bit of a show off point really when you go down there. Yeah.

3:50

Or something or you're taking a bit of

3:52

an injury. Yeah, I'm strapped up. Strapped

3:55

up. But I reckon

3:58

there would be a lot of people. doing

4:00

what you're talking about is getting something

4:02

heavy from above yeah

4:05

and turning and putting it down yeah

4:07

doing the back yeah so

4:09

were you sitting down when you grew up sitting

4:13

yeah so you lent to the passenger seat

4:15

a lent across and then pulled

4:19

up and as i pull up because i can stick

4:22

quite hard those man yeah they're so annoying yeah

4:25

so um anyway so anyone that's

4:27

not very macho is it doing the passenger

4:29

seat rug in the alde no you because

4:32

you want to see your back i had a friend

4:34

said the other day can you plan a charity charity

4:36

golf day and i went oh i can't

4:38

i did my back surfing so i had just

4:41

i had been surfing oh you could have said yeah my

4:43

shag is back mate that's right that's right

4:46

uh so um it's a bit ruffled brand

4:49

so you would have felt stupid see i'm not a wheel

4:51

guy no i'm not a wheelie guy i'm

4:53

over the shoulder guy that's like me you're looking like

4:56

you're a lone wolf you're there you can you

4:58

can shuffle through the crowd whereas people go

5:00

around the corners with those really when

5:02

you hit cobblestones oh my god when you hear in europe

5:05

or where there's cobblestones like oh and then

5:07

sometimes they're on an angle and someone's just

5:09

standing up and it's just they

5:11

fall over i don't know i mean and the bags themselves

5:14

aren't that big you're going i don't reckon you need

5:16

wheels yes some of the tiny yeah you

5:18

get that bag is is way too small for wheel

5:20

yeah you can carry it great big long telescopic

5:24

handle on it but good on you and did

5:26

she say thank you thank you come

5:29

over for pasta well

5:33

you know what it could have been it could have been a sting well

5:36

this is the thing they always say don't carry

5:38

someone else's suitcase because i said what

5:40

if you're a gold bullion in here just

5:43

drugs it could have been some food items

5:45

it could have been some bags of heroin

5:48

bags which meant that you could have you'd be on imagine

5:50

me going down imagine me going down from me

5:52

pointing to the old age it's her it's her in the

5:54

cop yeah yeah oh okay and

5:57

maybe no she's a beautiful lady she's not

5:59

gonna be doing the drugs. No. Yeah.

6:02

So. I tell you what though, she went back to her drug

6:04

merchants to be held up. You know. Oh

6:07

the fat guy is carrying it.

6:09

Nothing worse when you got an airplane and you go,

6:12

my there's no room over me.

6:15

You got to put up the back. And you got to get up the

6:17

back. So once the tight when the plane

6:19

get the surge forward. You

6:21

got to swim against that.

6:23

My bags up there. No way. You're waiting

6:25

till the very end and going all

6:27

the way back down. I mean it's not that bad really.

6:30

But I remember Sam Newman who's been in the

6:32

news recently. My friend used to work in the footy show.

6:35

So they landed and this little

6:38

bike got up and ran towards the front to

6:40

get out be the first person out the front door.

6:42

And Sam Newman just stood in his way and went, what do you

6:44

think you're doing mate? Where are you going? Could you imagine

6:46

him doing that? Well you killed him. Yeah.

6:49

Oh you're in a rush show mate. We're all in a rush show. Yeah

6:51

mate. Well yeah man it's appropriate

6:54

because we all know. Yeah. What

6:56

the rule of thumb is I could go right now.

6:58

But you've got to wait for the people in front of you. The

7:00

row in front of you has priority. So isn't

7:03

it great when the row in front of you is elderly

7:05

and they just go, no you go. You're

7:08

like yes. Yes. And then just like like.

7:13

Run. Run. Run. Run.

7:16

Run. You get out of the airplane and then you

7:18

break wind. Yeah. That's right.

7:22

Oh here's the music.

7:32

Welcome to Somehow Related Now.

7:34

Please welcome your host Glenn Robbins

7:36

and Dave O'Neill.

7:46

Welcome to podcast Somehow Related. It's

7:49

pretty simple. We get two topics

7:51

and we're going to go how they're related. Yeah. Somehow

7:53

unrelated. Somehow related. Somehow unrelated.

7:58

I remember when you told me the idea it came fully. I thought

8:00

that is a brilliant idea. Brilliant genius.

8:04

You are the Bill Gates of... Comedy.

8:06

Australian Comedy. I was just going

8:08

to say podcast. Not really. But

8:12

if you want to be on comedy in general. I'd

8:14

rather be Elon Musk. No I don't want to

8:16

be any of those guys. Warren Buffett. He seems

8:19

pretty smart. Alright well what other topic Sam? Helicopters

8:22

in the Last Supper. Alright.

8:24

Well helicopters? Well they did not

8:26

exist in the same time frame. So

8:28

this is going to be fascinating. I think Jesus was

8:31

on a chopper. Was he? No I think

8:33

Jesus wrote a chopper. Well he was maybe.

8:36

Hey because my dad worked on helicopters. You

8:38

know he was in the air force. He worked on helicopters?

8:42

He was a funeral internment. He was like essentially a helicopter mechanic. And

8:44

so he worked on the Hueys. The Hueys.

8:48

And so when he was in Vietnam. Oh

8:50

there is a great photo of him. I'll try and find it. Of

8:52

him standing next

8:54

to a helicopter. And there's

8:56

bullet holes in it. And he's like holding a can

8:59

of beer giving him the thumbs up. Wow. Because

9:01

they had this thing at school called Wayback Wednesday. Where the

9:03

kids. My

9:05

daughter when she was in grade 4. Had to bring an old

9:07

person to talk about the olden days. Really?

9:10

Bring an old person. Yeah thank god I was deemed too young

9:12

at that stage. So dad went and he turned

9:14

up in his fly suit. Which

9:16

is like a jumpsuit. Like a onesie. Oh yeah. And

9:19

he's like. Look it still

9:21

fits. Not really. I

9:24

know the flying suit. Yeah. Yeah not really. It didn't really

9:26

fit. He showed these photos. What happened?

9:29

The helicopters would crash. They'd get shot at by the Viet Cong.

9:31

But the Americans, the Australians. They

9:33

didn't want to leave their helicopters there. They would

9:35

drop in the mechanics like dad. And he's

9:38

colleague. He would go right

9:40

in there. And fix the helicopters

9:42

up. And fly them out. No.

9:47

He wasn't the pilot. But he said they gave him a go occasionally. Don't

9:49

you love it? Do you want

9:51

to go Kevin? Why did he fix a

9:53

crashed helicopter? Or maybe they just went down and

9:56

landed sort of thing. As opposed to crashed. Yeah,

10:00

even the crash really badly. They surely there must

10:02

be an assessment thing where they triage and go...

10:05

People don't realise this but helicopters can still

10:07

come into land even if they... They

10:09

can glide. They can glide. Whereas a lot of people think the

10:12

prop stops so therefore they drop out

10:14

of the sky. They don't. When you think about it,

10:16

how are helicopters any genius because there's the

10:18

big rotor on the top and there's that little one on the

10:20

back. Yeah. So one goes up and one that

10:22

goes round. Yeah. You would

10:24

have been the helicopter. Yeah. Oh, tons of

10:26

times. Really? Oh yeah. No,

10:30

never. The first thing about a helicopter

10:32

is that because with a plane you go along,

10:34

along, along, along, gently, gently, then you gently

10:37

go... A helicopter, you go straight and straight

10:39

line straight up in the air. All of a sudden the ground drops

10:41

away from under you. That would freak me out.

10:44

No. Would you? Are you afraid of

10:46

heights? Yeah. It probably would freak

10:48

you out. Helicopter is a funny because like I was doing a

10:51

helicopter once and I remember

10:53

if you stop and think about it, it's

10:55

not a good feeling. Yeah. When you're

10:58

depending on... We came into land in Melbourne

11:01

one time with a bunch

11:03

of celebrities or whatever and you come

11:05

down and you go along... What

11:08

celebrities were in there? The era. Yeah.

11:11

So you're going building, building, building,

11:13

building, building, building, building, building, and then you drop down on the

11:16

helipad on the era. Yeah. Could

11:19

easily go wrong. Oh yeah. You could

11:21

flip sideways or you could... What celebrities were there? Greg

11:24

Norman. There's been so many times I've been in here. I've got lots of movies.

11:28

Al McPherson, the Colin Kenyon. Jack

11:30

Klugman is... I remember catching a helicopter with

11:32

him. Jack Klugman? Yes. From

11:35

the Odd Couple? Yes. Is that

11:37

Jack Klugman in the Odd Couple? Yes. This is when

11:39

I had to play on a comedy golf day with

11:41

me and we were flown to

11:43

Sydney. Oh yeah. The helicopter dropped you off somewhere.

11:46

Yeah. It was me, Jack Klugman, John

11:48

Blackman, and Connor Fruderer. And

11:50

we... Aah. Dickey

11:53

and I. He's coming up on that. Connor

11:55

Fruderer. He's just having... He's just having...

11:57

He's just having... Now, Jack Klugman was the Odd Couple.

12:00

He was Felix thing I was the other one. Yeah.

12:02

We get flown out there and I plan this golf.

12:04

I don't have anything to do with Jack Huggman. I

12:07

don't think I'm I maybe I said later and maybe

12:09

I had a photograph with him. That was it Some

12:13

years later They

12:17

want me for this is your life. What

12:19

for Jack Huggman? Well, I'm getting to that

12:22

That they want me for this is your life and

12:24

with this is your life You can't be you don't get asked

12:27

they just do it and they ring

12:29

my partner Selena and then say look we are Organizing

12:32

it. Can you get some information? She goes? No,

12:34

you shouldn't do this. He would not want this

12:37

Oh, that's right. You heard Selena talking to your brother.

12:40

Yeah, no. Yeah, and my brother was ringing Yeah

12:42

was ringing. I said, what was that all about

12:44

talking to my brother? I can't say I can't say

12:47

I all I heard I say was it's a life thing

12:49

meaning. Oh my god, someone's bill

12:51

and she said it's a this is your life thing I

12:54

just said to them that if they're gonna do this is your

12:56

life. You wouldn't want to do it Is that okay? And I went oh my

12:58

god. Yeah, I don't want to do it. I would never

13:00

want to do it I would never want to stand out there and That's

13:07

called the freedom or dicky knee I can't tell anyway

13:10

they said Something

13:12

to the effect of we really don't want to cancel

13:15

it because we're booked Jack Klugman

13:23

When I met him for five and rode an helicopter

13:26

with him never got to didn't do it And

13:28

then anyway, and then Jack Klugman died

13:30

so he never got to do anyway So I didn't do this

13:33

is your life and Jack Klugman didn't

13:35

get flown out for a free trip to Australia But

13:38

as we pointed out before this is your

13:40

life for people that remember they would surprise a celebrity

13:43

Then they bring on to a soundstage and then say

13:45

do you recognize this voice? I thought Glenn Robbins

13:48

in grade four and no one gets paid.

13:50

It's free TV It's free and

13:52

it's a book of studio and you're

13:54

the star of her like I think we're for an hour And

13:57

they're selling your life. Yeah, but they're

13:59

putting advertising into your life and they

14:01

book a few people who want to be on the telly and then

14:03

I mean it is a tribute and then there's innocent

14:06

people who just like your your

14:08

relatives who go oh he must want to do this

14:10

yeah I mean it would be insufferable

14:13

I'll just sit there and have to it's like bad

14:16

enough doing a speech at your own birthday party let

14:18

alone you know some people would like it

14:20

so anyway helicopters helicopter

14:23

helicopter good things fires yeah

14:26

great they never crashed they rarely crash

14:28

yeah what is it was Elvis Elvis

14:31

is the name of the helicopter that I just I think

14:33

I say Elvis done the helicopter Elvis

14:35

is the name of the helicopter came out for fighting the fire yeah

14:39

ocean rescue I remember in that was

14:41

that city of Hobart I don't know what year it

14:43

was when the helicopters did an amazing job and all

14:45

the yeah

14:48

getting you see the Westpac helicopter down

14:50

at the beach these drop the line down with the guy

14:53

in the end of it going in and getting people out of the

14:55

ocean when the waves were about a 30-foot high just

14:57

incredible man I got pulled up once they'll just hit

14:59

easy ATM guys sorry about helicopter

15:04

I was in a helicopter once again they

15:06

said we're opening a driving

15:09

range down on the peninsula

15:11

they would like you to

15:14

go down there and hit

15:16

some golf balls and we'll put it on the news this

15:18

is back in the day when you kind of did anything for the

15:20

sake of doing it and they said don't worry

15:22

we'll put you in a chopper we'll chopper you down

15:25

there you just hit a few golf balls and

15:27

then chop your back chop your back yeah

15:32

I don't have to do it this is I just have to hit if you I

15:34

said I don't have to perform no anyway so

15:36

I turn up and I get chopper down

15:39

and I do the gig and

15:41

the guy who loved who's got the driving range

15:43

gets really shitty cuz I'm not dressed as uncle Arthur

15:48

and go we're jumping mid to be hitting golf balls

15:50

on glove again no you didn't book if you want an uncle

15:52

after gonna cost you money body by the body by the law

15:55

anyway I said I've had enough

15:57

of this get me out of here where's my chopper

15:59

you know got a bit anyway so they put

16:01

me in the chopper and they're going around

16:03

Port Phillip Bay and I say

16:06

to the guy sort of arrogantly I go

16:08

oh yes it's fun but you can't get this

16:10

very low near the water can you he goes you want

16:12

a bit and he dropped

16:16

down to what I reckon felt

16:18

like about 10 foot it was probably

16:20

a little bit higher than that but we ran

16:22

around the line of Port Phillip

16:25

Bay in a helicopter very very

16:27

close to the ground and it was one of the

16:29

best things it was and

16:32

then here we are well then there was another time

16:35

in Hawaii on the island of Kauai

16:38

you could get a helicopter right and you can go down into

16:41

dormant volcanoes

16:45

unbelievable the in the helicopter and

16:47

you completely surrounded the wall

16:49

of the volcano it feels like from here that wall

16:51

away and some

16:55

months later that

16:57

very company that very

16:59

helicopter crashed

17:02

crashed and they can't cancel

17:04

it I went in a helicopter below

17:06

the line of the Grand Canyon helicopter

17:10

a lot but ten times oh

17:12

we did I went to the Melbourne Cup in a helicopter one

17:15

I'm an old hand and the

17:17

great thing about being a helicopter is when you put the headset

17:19

on yeah you just sound important

17:21

oh yeah yeah sweet like that yeah

17:24

well I remember when helicopters before

17:26

drones if you were

17:35

on a show and they had a helicopter

17:37

shot in the show that was a big deal cinematography

17:40

on helicopter that's not a crane shot that's not

17:42

a helicopter shot that's a helicopter absolutely

17:45

I actually over

17:47

in this the other day I think

17:50

it might be Latin helico means

17:53

spiral

17:55

and I think no the rest of the word

17:57

helical means wings

18:00

Yeah, well many of word is spiral wings

18:02

didn't Eric banner do it was that one of it?

18:05

I'm sorry black walk down where Did

18:08

he we had to sort of hang out the door and head wires

18:11

on him and stuff and nails black hawk down I called

18:13

down down which is about the blackhawk helicopter.

18:16

Yeah in Somalia crashing Yeah,

18:18

they put they got to them down to or threw them down.

18:21

They got the Americans. It's a good movie black walk down

18:24

Ridley Scott Alright, let's

18:26

talk about the last supper

18:29

The last so what are we doing? It's a last supper

18:31

because I mean we went to church. Are

18:33

you religious? No, but did you go? Yeah,

18:36

I'm Church of England. What are you saying? Yeah, see

18:38

of a yeah, we went to church We

18:40

went to Sunday school. So I do remember

18:42

the last supper Was Jesus

18:44

last supper before you got hung on the cross

18:47

his idea You go what are

18:49

you doing Thursday? I used to do a routine about how

18:52

done on Friday I should retain about how it was like a bucks

18:54

night You know what I mean? Yeah, so

18:56

Jesus they can turn water into wine. That's handy.

18:58

Yeah Did he do that? They didn't he

19:00

sort of go this is bread Yeah And

19:02

they sort of go pretends my body and you can eat it as

19:05

a celebration of me then it goes and this is here's

19:07

my Here's some wine and we'll pretend it's

19:09

blood So you're drinking bit of

19:11

my body and a bit of my blood which we

19:13

do it communion Yeah, so

19:15

we're we're reenacting the last summer

19:17

by having oh, yeah true. Yeah, well the last

19:19

supper All I know it was in an upstairs room in a restaurant.

19:22

There's no women. So it was 12 of them But

19:26

was Judas there wasn't there was

19:28

he there? He was a good question We're

19:30

not we don't know but anyway, say if he was there

19:32

there's a few of them anyway, isn't there? Yeah, and

19:34

they're they just and when you see the photos, it looks

19:36

like they're having a good time It's not

19:38

a photo. It looks it up for that looks set up though

19:40

for that because it's not you would think it's

19:43

like a wedding Table. Yeah, you would think they'd

19:45

be in a round table Heaps better or

19:48

a long long table where you know,

19:50

cuz two tables like the money. Yeah,

19:52

yeah Yeah, you would think that they

19:54

because it would be hard to talk to the other end of the table.

19:57

Yeah Jesus was in the middle. He's

19:59

in the middle at the bride And they had steak,

20:01

did they not? Fish I think. Was it fish?

20:04

Oh it's probably a bit of both. It's probably consecutive

20:06

meals. Fish, then steak. Probably chicken and

20:08

beef. Do you reckon they had entree and entree,

20:10

main and dessert? What would Jesus

20:13

have for dessert? Probably something boring like figs

20:15

or something like prunes. Oh yeah. Something

20:18

healthy. Even though if he knew it was his last time he'd be ordering an ice

20:20

cream sundae. Oh this is my death

20:22

row meal guys. Let's just bloody

20:24

have chips and ice cream and... But

20:27

they were, the guests were the

20:29

twelve apostles. Yeah the disciples. The

20:32

disciples. Is that what they're called? Not apostles.

20:35

Well no. Well no. What

20:37

are apostles? Why aren't they the same

20:39

thing? Am I? Actually

20:42

we should ask Sam. Sam.

20:43

An apostle is a messenger

20:45

or one who is sent while a disciple

20:48

is a student or learner. Apostles

20:50

were primarily people who had met

20:53

and followed Jesus during his life

20:55

and were called by him to spread the gospel.

20:57

So let's just recapture. I'll

20:59

read the story so far. So

21:02

Judas, yeah I don't know what he dobbed but

21:05

did he tell the Romans where they were or something? Well

21:08

we know that Judas dobbed him in but

21:10

he wasn't in hiding during the Last Supper.

21:13

Judas Iscariot was one

21:15

of the twelve apostles. He is notorious

21:18

for betraying Jesus by disclosing

21:20

Jesus' whereabouts for thirty pieces

21:22

of silver. Judas brought men to

21:25

arrest Jesus and identified him

21:27

with a kiss. Thanks Sam. Meaning

21:29

that he goes, okay I'm going to

21:31

go in and I'm going to kiss Jesus just to let you know

21:33

which one it is. Yeah.

21:36

And the dead both ways. When Luke came up for a kiss, no back off man. Don't

21:38

go anywhere. Back off. You don't want

21:41

to kiss me now mate. Trust me. You don't

21:43

want to kiss me now. I take 30 pieces of silver back BC. But

21:45

didn't he feel like... Hey. A lot of coin.

21:49

30 pieces of silver. They really wanted to get Jesus didn't

21:51

they? Yeah. Really

21:54

dude. I think he would have been a lovely man. Jesus. He

21:56

told good stories. I help with Paul. Hang

21:58

out with the prostitute. I help with Paul. pretty good

22:01

guy. The sort of shoes that he was wearing

22:03

still around to this very day. Yes

22:05

the Birkenstock, the sandal. Yeah you

22:07

know. Even now they do a bit of a roast.

22:09

Do you reckon? Hey Jesus. If

22:12

you were the one who got up and said a few words

22:15

and you know. Remember his mum

22:17

said it was a macular conception everyone.

22:21

Jesus was a carpenter. Everyone remember him at trade school.

22:25

You couldn't build another mate. Remember

22:28

you used to get a couple of dimmies, picture magazine, triple

22:31

M on radio. You have

22:33

your dog barking. He's had

22:35

the last buffer. He's gone

22:38

here's some bread, my body here's some wine,

22:40

my blood. He's finished up. It

22:43

was a restaurant. I wonder who paid. I don't

22:45

know. Surely there would have been discussion.

22:48

So then that image was

22:51

then painted by Leonardo DiCaprio.

22:54

Great actor.

22:56

Da Vinci. You can still see that painting

23:00

to this day. It's in Milan or somewhere?

23:02

Where is it? I don't know. It's in Italy somewhere. Have

23:04

you seen it? No. I've

23:06

been to Milan though. But apparently it's quite decayed

23:09

and it's like you know you don't you can't

23:11

stay there for too long and can't take too.

23:14

No flash photos. No flash photos and a bit

23:16

to be falling off. Because what period would that have been

23:18

painted? That would be... He

23:20

was around 14, 15, before

23:24

that maybe. Yeah. We're never good with that

23:26

sort of history. Never. Ever. Ever.

23:29

I don't think what Sam is talking about

23:31

is the painting or maybe she is.

23:35

The painting or the event. Or both.

23:37

Yeah. I think she's talking about Jesus.

23:40

What else can we say? Well it's just

23:43

one of those things that's gone into you know

23:45

folklore and that you know the Last

23:47

Supper. Oh it's their Last Supper. People

23:49

say it all the time but they also say he's a bit of a Judas

23:51

too don't they? So it's interesting. Do you reckon

23:53

we have Judas's in the comedy industry? Yeah

23:56

definitely. People who... Well let's name them right

23:58

now. No I mean... I mean what's

24:00

dobbing though, you know, like who's telling

24:02

on someone? There's more just badly behaved

24:05

people. Like you know, in America you've

24:07

got Bill Cosby or whatever. But Judith

24:09

must have wandered around going, I feel pretty bad about

24:11

that. Did he or did he just? I don't know.

24:13

What did he do with his 30 pieces of silver? Did I read

24:15

somewhere that he felt guilty and then he just gave the money

24:17

away or something? I'm not sure. Did he? I

24:21

don't know but like, tell me down in casino what did he do? Did

24:23

he buy him some new shoes or something? I

24:25

was getting betrayed by one of your best friends. I mean, admittedly

24:28

he had 12 best friends but anyway. But

24:31

that's often the way. It's the ones

24:33

who are closest to you. Yeah. Imagine

24:36

that. Anyway, poor old Jesus, you

24:38

know, he did some good work and he'd be

24:40

happy to know that he's still around

24:43

today and we still celebrate

24:45

his... Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah,

24:47

but there's a lot of people using his name to do bad

24:49

things, aren't there? Stupid things. Yeah, that's

24:52

right. Jesus told me. Jesus said. Jesus

24:54

made me do it. Who did that great routine? It

24:57

might have been your

24:59

friend. Yes, Dilson. After sport,

25:02

they thank God but they never blame. Yeah,

25:05

yeah. When they play badly. Yeah,

25:07

so you know, I was going really well in that marathon but

25:09

then Jesus made me lose. Yeah, yeah. That's

25:12

right. Jesus made me lose. Jesus made me

25:14

lose. From Jeff, Jeff Dilson. Fantastic.

25:16

All right, well let's have some thinking

25:18

music. Yeah, I think so. What

25:21

about one of those Christian ads? Who are those Christian

25:23

ads in the ad? I did one. You were in one, weren't

25:25

you? Yeah. What did you do again?

25:27

They were always a bit of a choos. I can never work out what

25:29

the fuck was going on. Well, mine was

25:32

I was eating my lunch in like an underground

25:34

table thing with

25:37

a couple other guys with hard hats on and

25:39

we all opened up our lunch and

25:41

the message was, tell

25:43

someone you love them today and I'm pretty

25:46

sure I had a sandwich and a

25:48

boiled egg with a heart written. I

25:51

can't remember that. Christian

25:54

television. You don't see that many ads now for the Christian

25:56

television. No. I remember on

25:58

Full Frontal we wrote. sketch and

26:00

I think with Eric Banner walking along, he was one of the first

26:02

Poiter before he was walking along with the boggling

26:05

wig on, and there was a priest coming out

26:07

of a church and Eric

26:09

Banner's coach said, excuse me mate, I was just

26:11

watching TV and saw one of those Christian television ads,

26:14

I'm really interested in Jesus and then it had tales

26:16

of the unexpected. Believe

26:19

it or not, or something like that. As

26:21

if anyone would see those ads and go, oh yeah I'm

26:24

interested in Jesus. The church

26:27

I drive past regularly still has those signs

26:29

they put out there. Yeah, so does mine. And

26:31

not puns, but they're kind of blurred

26:33

plays. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like God is

26:35

the ultimate app or something like that. Yeah,

26:38

yeah, yeah. When Jesus came fourth,

26:40

who came fifth, I don't know, it's not

26:43

better than that. Bob Fungen is a routine,

26:45

there's a big billboard near his house and it's got churches

26:47

changed. And it's got a picture of some of the

26:50

congregation and as he points out, it

26:52

looks exactly like it did in the 70s. It's just

26:54

like a bald guy and a few women.

26:56

The church hasn't changed. What is the classic one? What

26:58

would you do if Jesus

27:00

came... Yeah, we've talked about that, we did

27:02

that in graffiti didn't we? If Jesus came to Hawthorne,

27:05

you'd move Peter Hudson to... Yeah,

27:07

yeah, yeah. Jesus!

27:11

Hey, is this too hard? Could

27:14

we do a recreation of the Last

27:16

Supper? Sure, it'd be a big

27:18

challenge for Courtney our producer, but yeah, sure. But

27:21

why don't we do just one bit of it? We can't do the whole

27:23

Last Supper, it would have been quite lengthy I reckon. Oh,

27:26

okay, so we'll do the part

27:28

where... I've always wondered who paid for it. Yeah,

27:31

okay, so let's just say... And split the bill? Okay,

27:34

so can you be Jesus? Sure. I'll

27:36

be Peter and I'll just come up

27:38

and so I need a bit of hubbub.

27:41

A plinking of play. A plinking of plants and maybe,

27:43

you know, with a bit like Bunrady

27:46

Castle probably, it was a bit like, you know...

27:48

Yeah, probably. Bring on the beef. Yeah,

27:51

yeah. Alright. So, okay, okay. Here

27:53

we go. Jesus! Oh

28:01

gee, it's been a big day here at the line.

28:03

So I reckon I'll make sure I can get the bill, see it, I'll

28:05

show you the bill.

28:05

Let's get the bill, but can

28:08

I just say, Jesus, on behalf

28:10

of the other 11 apostles, that

28:14

not only have we had a wonderful

28:16

bread, beautiful... Thank you,

28:18

find it in my cry. Yeah, the wine... That

28:21

was originally water that I turned into wine for us. Yeah,

28:23

very impressive. We've got to check

28:25

that bill. If they're charging it for wine, that's

28:27

not fair, because it was actually originally water. I

28:30

like the entertainment, I walk in the water, outside the window,

28:33

in the bay. Very impressive. Yeah,

28:35

really good stuff. What do you want to do? Do you want to

28:37

split the bill? Look, splitting the

28:39

bill would be good. Oh, here's the bill. Oh,

28:42

okay. Well, no, they haven't split the bill. Why don't we just go

28:44

through the islands and work out who has the most, and then we can

28:46

split up. I don't want to be rude, but

28:49

I know what I had, and I just had what

28:52

we've given. Judas, who,

28:54

by the way... Where's he gone? Where is

28:56

he? Judas! Where are you? Judas!

28:59

Oh, he's got a runner on us. Typical. When

29:02

the bill comes around, he's always

29:05

done a runner. So, I

29:07

don't know, is there

29:09

anything we can do to you? I didn't hear you tell

29:11

you it was going to go off and get 30 bits of silver

29:13

to help pay. I don't know how he's going to get that money, because he's

29:15

not working at the moment. How's he going to get that money?

29:18

Yeah. Any idea? You know the gift that you gave

29:20

us? Yeah, I gave you some fish, and we all split

29:22

up. No, the other gift where you... Oh, well,

29:24

this is amazing. I should have announced it. It's their run. Everyone,

29:27

we've got apostles. Are you listening? Yep.

29:30

I decided that you guys are such great guys, apart

29:32

from Judas, as Nick Dolph. There

29:35

are some rocky formations down on

29:38

the Victorian coastline. That's in Australia.

29:40

You probably don't know about it. Anyway, and

29:42

we are going to call them the 12 apostles. Each

29:45

one of them is going to be named after one of you. Can I

29:48

suggest that it be 11 apostles? Oh, it's

29:50

only 11. 11 Judas. Actually, I

29:52

had a reply like there's only 9 left, but anyway...

29:55

Get down there quick if you want to... Yeah, quick on the pot.

29:58

I... I don't

30:00

know what we need to do. Is

30:02

there anything... what are you doing? Today's

30:04

Thursday. Tomorrow's Good

30:06

Friday. And then

30:08

what are you doing? What are you

30:11

doing? It's Easter Sunday. Hang

30:12

on. I need to come to Judas with some Roman soldiers. Hey!

30:15

What the hell? Oh hang

30:17

on.

30:17

Which one of you

30:19

is Jesus? Don't

30:22

say anything like that. Judas, don't...

30:26

Oh God, you just kissed me. This is a bit

30:28

weird. Hey, get your

30:31

hands off me. Put your saddles back on. Put

30:34

your hands off me. We've got to settle the bill. See

30:36

that cross over there? Pick it up. Pick

30:38

it up. Guys, where are you going to

30:40

place the bill for the restaurant? I'll

30:43

come back, mate. When will you come back? Give

30:47

me four days. I'll be back. I'll be back.

30:56

Oh wow. It's pretty exciting. I've got to say,

30:58

if you were in any way religious,

31:01

you were highly... I think there

31:03

should be a number that you can call because that would

31:06

be quite triggering and offensive

31:08

what we just did. Or if you were the

31:10

Last Supper. Or if you were the Last Supper. Or if

31:12

you were a Roman. Yeah.

31:14

Quite funny. We

31:17

apologise to anyone that would have found that

31:19

offensive. Okay, so what's your guess? Helicopters

31:23

and the Last Supper. This is really

31:25

hard. It's a hard one. They're so knock on their

31:27

door. I'm going to say that,

31:29

and I don't know why, a lot of

31:31

the parts of a helicopter

31:33

are named after the twelve

31:36

apostles. Wow! Like

31:39

that one, like that... You've got lots of bits. Yeah,

31:41

fair enough. And I don't know why, because

31:43

maybe because a helicopter can

31:46

rise to the heavens. I don't know. No,

31:49

no. Who invented helicopters?

31:52

I have no idea. Didn't

31:54

Leonardo DiCaprio... Leonardo DiCaprio? Well

31:56

you're doing a Titanic. I've got an

31:58

idea. Had a bit of spare time. and someone said mate, sorry

32:00

we've been invented. Now, Lena DaVinci did a drawing

32:03

of a helicopter. So, is this you saying

32:05

this or do you know this? No, he did a drawing of a helicopter.

32:08

What do you mean he did a drawing of a helicopter? Yeah,

32:10

he had the idea for a helicopter before they could even

32:12

make it. Back in the, so

32:14

he was, what are you doing, Dale? I'm

32:16

drawing up the Last Supper. What's that weird

32:18

drawing over there? Well, that's the thing, he

32:21

also did the Last Supper picture, didn't he? So he did the Last Supper,

32:24

That's the connection. He had a doodle on the

32:26

side. So you're saying the connection is, the

32:29

same guy who painted the Last Supper also

32:31

did a drawing of

32:34

a helicopter. I don't know what he drew. It was a helicopter,

32:36

I've seen it. How would he know the blade's spinning

32:38

round? He was a genius, he was the first person to come up

32:40

with a- But how would he know? The engines weren't even

32:42

invented there. He had little arrows. I

32:45

don't know. You've seen the

32:47

drawing, haven't you? Of a helicopter? He's

32:49

a helicopter. No, it's pretty good. Is

32:52

it? Anyway, what's the answer, Sam?

32:53

Leonardo DaVinci, the genius

32:56

Italian inventor and artist, created

32:58

the first sketches of what became a

33:00

helicopter. He also painted the

33:02

al fresco, the Last Supper, a

33:05

very famous painting.

33:06

Hoax, hoax,

33:08

set up, not real. But we

33:10

would never do anything on this show that wasn't real.

33:13

It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing, yeah.

33:18

You have been listening to Somehow

33:20

Related with Glenn Robbins and Dave

33:22

O'Neill. Because

33:30

did he not do all those wonderful things

33:32

of birds flying? Oh, yes, he came up with that too. Yeah, did

33:34

he not do the human body? Yeah, he had

33:36

some ideas that eventually came to him. But at the time,

33:38

his wife would be going, this is not bullshit.

33:41

No, here we go. What do you mean a helicopter? What

33:43

do you mean a bird flying machine? Why don't you just draw

33:45

things like everybody else? Do a little house with some smoke

33:47

coming out the chimney. Why didn't

33:49

you invent a cat flap like it spoke last week?

33:53

Something practical. Why didn't you invent

33:55

like a toaster? So he was way... Way.

33:57

Way. Let's

34:00

finish on a Jesus joke. Jesus did a

34:03

lot of jokes about Jesus. What about that one where he's hanging

34:05

on the cross? He's hanging on the cross and he's like

34:07

Peter, Peter. And Peter

34:09

tries to get to him and all the Roman guards push him away.

34:12

And then he goes Peter, Peter.

34:14

You know this one. And then eventually he gets to Jesus and he goes,

34:17

Yes Jesus, what is it? He goes, I can

34:19

see your house from up here. Did

34:22

you wear that one on a Scout Jamboree?

34:25

Yeah, I reckon it was. King

34:27

Gangoo, Gilly Gilly Gilly Watcha,

34:29

King Gangoo, Gilly Gilly Jesus. I

34:32

mean Jesus Christ Superstar

34:36

was a great musical, was it not? Was

34:38

it with a new T in that or? Yeah.

34:41

I wouldn't have brought that up because I've

34:43

never seen that. Was it no Hazelhurst? No, it was big

34:45

in the news. Jesus Christ Superstar,

34:48

who are you? Do you want

34:50

to sing a quick turn off? Jesus Christ

34:53

Superturning on his own. Oklahoma

34:56

where that one? I'm going

34:58

to wash that man right out of my hair.

35:02

Happy talking, talking, happy talk.

35:04

Talk about that bird and bees.

35:08

You've got to have a dream.

35:11

One of my friends went to WAPA and she said

35:13

all the musical students, Eddie Perfect was one

35:15

of them. Great guy. Theatre musical

35:17

students will sit in the canyon and just sing those songs all

35:19

lunch. You know a

35:21

musical song? Talking,

35:24

talking, happy talk. My boy

35:26

Bill will be tall and as tough as

35:28

a tree. This is the tolling

35:31

of the time. This is the tolling of the, that's like me.

35:35

Is anyone still listening? Memories.

35:38

What about it? Don't cry for me

35:40

Argentina. We're going for a

35:42

circle. We're shooting the lady on the blind. That's Marika. Don't

35:45

cry for me Argentina. Let's get off

35:47

the plane. What was the parry? Don't cry

35:49

for me. I can't

35:51

remember what it was. We used to do a joke about it. Don't

35:53

cry for me. Was

35:56

it nail on that one down? Yeah, don't cry

35:58

for

35:58

me Argentina. I like

36:01

the truth, he's our neighbor loved you.