It’s finally over. Trump lost. Biden won. Which those of us who were paying attention for the last three weeks already knew. But not before we got the wildest conspiracy theory ever: that Hugo Chavez stole the election for Joe Biden from beyond the grave, because reasons and because obviously. Analysis from Eric and Joe flows forth, like Rudy Giuliani’s hair dye under sweat-inducing lights. Could it be? Mike Madigan is finally out as Illinois Speaker of the House. As of right now, enough House Democrats have said they won’t vote to reelect him to the position he’s held for almost all of the last four decades. President-elect Joe Biden has announced a few of his cabinet picks and they’re pretty boring. Is it too much to hope that we’re on the road back to boring politics? The latest COVID hypocrite politician is Naperville mayor Steve Chirico. But even that story isn’t as infuriating as NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo getting an Emmy for the eloquence of his COVID briefings while his actual policies killed scores of old people in nursing homes. And finally, a 12-hour-long line forms at the grand opening of an In-N-Out Burger in Denver. Is there any food you’d wait 12 hours in line for that wasn’t bread in a communist country?

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