President-elect Joe Biden has his pick for Secretary of Transportation: former South Bend mayor Pete Buttieieg. You know, since South Bend is so famous for its transportation innovation and such. But rest assured, he’s ridden Amtrak a few times, and we presume he’s seen a boat before, so he should be fine. Is there a better example that these cabinet officials are chosen for reasons other than expertise than this? The Cleveland Indians are ditching the Indians name. They’re finally going to go by what everyone already calls them: The Cleveland Blew a 3-1 World Series Lead to the Chicago Cubs. Rolls right off the tongue. The Illinois legislative committee investigating Mike Madigan has ended and found no wrongdoing. We’re shocked, shocked! Everyone freaks out over an op/ed questioning Jill Biden’s use of the term “Dr.” when she possesses only an Ed.D., and not an MD or a Ph.D. Titles are stupid. Moving on. And finally, Popeyes is set to debut beignets across the country. The only thing that’ll be lower than our cholesterol after eating them will be the percentage of people who pronounce it correctly.

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