0:00

Welcome to Speaking of Sex

0:02

with the Pleasure Mechanics. I'm

0:04

Chris Maxwell-Rose, founder

0:07

of PleasureMechanics.com, and

0:09

on this podcast we have explicit,

0:12

wholesome conversations about

0:15

sex, pleasure, joy, and

0:17

connection. Come on over

0:19

to PleasureMechanics.com, where

0:22

you will find our complete podcast

0:24

archive, as well as our entire

0:27

suite of online courses, ready

0:29

to

0:29

guide you in up-leveling your

0:32

sexual skills and developing

0:34

more capacity for arousal

0:37

and pleasure and intimacy. Come

0:40

on over to PleasureMechanics.com,

0:43

it is all waiting for you there.

0:46

On today's episode, we are speaking

0:49

with Robert Johnson, founder

0:51

of Shameless Care. Shameless

0:54

Care is one of our new sponsors here

0:56

on the podcast, and I was so excited

0:58

about their offerings, I invited Robert

1:01

onto the show to talk with us

1:03

about accessing shame-free

1:06

sexual health care. This

1:08

means that you not only get the testing

1:10

and medications you need, but you

1:12

get your questions answered in a respectful,

1:15

shame-free environment, and that is

1:17

just what ShamelessCare.com

1:20

offers. If you are inspired

1:23

by this episode

1:23

to take next steps in your

1:25

sexual health care journey, go

1:28

to ShamelessCare.com and

1:31

use the code PLEASURE for a discount

1:33

on your first order.

1:35

We hope this episode inspires

1:37

you to have more shame-free

1:40

conversations about your

1:42

sexual health and provides you

1:44

tools for more pleasure and

1:47

enjoyment of your sexual lifestyle,

1:49

whatever that looks like to you. Please

1:52

join me in welcoming Robert Johnson

1:55

to Speaking of Sex. We're going

1:57

to dive right into the interview where

1:59

he tells us

1:59

us about why he started shameless

2:02

care.com. And let's

2:04

talk about this word shameless care.

2:07

And I really want to talk about access

2:09

to shame free sexual

2:11

health care. So what is the

2:14

service you offer? And why

2:16

did you feel the need

2:17

to start this?

2:19

Because I know it's really a love project

2:22

for you. Sure. Yeah,

2:24

I'll start with that. So you

2:27

know, my wife and I are non monogamous.

2:30

And I had a woman write

2:32

to me about maybe three years ago, maybe a

2:34

little bit longer than that now. And

2:37

she said, Hey, you you gave me gonorrhea.

2:39

And well, that's a

2:41

that's a conversation nobody wants to have, first

2:44

of all, but and it was quite a shock to me. But it

2:46

was more of a shock to me, because I had actually

2:49

just been STI tested and had

2:51

purchased what was sold to me as a complete

2:55

STI panel. And that came back

2:57

completely negative. So I

2:59

shared that with her. And she said,

3:01

Well, were you throat swab tested? And

3:04

I said, I had never heard

3:06

that term throat swab testing until

3:08

she said that. You know, I've

3:10

been I've been strep throat tested at the doctor and

3:12

stuff like that. But I didn't know that there was something

3:15

like that for STIs. And she educated

3:17

me all about it. Because,

3:20

you know, she was quite sure that I was the

3:22

person who had had given this to her. And she

3:24

had in turn given it to her husband. And, and

3:27

so anyway, I spent the next couple of

3:30

weeks finding a doctor here locally

3:33

who would do the throat swab test. And I was

3:35

shocked that not

3:37

only had I not heard of this, but several of

3:39

the doctors in the area had not either.

3:41

I finally found one who would

3:43

do the throat swab test. And sure enough,

3:46

I had a completely asymptomatic.

3:49

So

3:50

no symptoms at all. I didn't have a cold.

3:52

I didn't have a sore throat. I didn't have bad breath.

3:54

I didn't have you know, everything looked

3:56

and felt fine. I had no reason to think that

3:58

I had this completely. asymptomatic, but

4:01

I did in fact have an oral

4:03

gonorrhea infection that I had no

4:05

doubt given to her and she had in

4:08

fact given it to her husband. And all of this could have

4:10

been avoided had I had

4:12

a better STI test.

4:14

I then polled members

4:17

of a local Sweeter Club and found

4:19

out that 93% of them were not throat swab

4:22

tested during their last STI exam.

4:25

And these were people who in some cases went

4:27

to an STI clinic.

4:29

Literally a clinic if this is all they do.

4:32

Or they would go to their OBGYN

4:35

or their PCP or whoever.

4:38

And I just thought, my God.

4:43

So I'm involved in a local Sweeter Club

4:45

and I've been to places like Heatonism Resort

4:47

in Jamaica and stuff like that. And at this point

4:50

I've seen

4:51

more people have sex than I ever cared to. Like

4:54

it's long since been titillating to me

4:56

or no longer titillating to me to see it. It's

4:58

like watching someone cut the grass or something. I've

5:01

just seen so much of it. You need to go to better parties,

5:03

my man. Yeah. And

5:07

like I've never seen anyone use a dental dam.

5:09

And I'm sure some of your listeners do and I'm certainly

5:11

not

5:12

not yay or nay on that one way or another. I'm just making

5:14

a point of like most people are

5:16

having unprotected oral sex and

5:19

they go to the doctor or they order something

5:21

online and they want a complete STI

5:24

exam.

5:24

And the very infection they're most likely

5:27

to get based upon how quickly

5:29

bacterial infections spread.

5:31

And the

5:33

fact that people are having unprotected oral sex. So

5:35

the infections they're most likely to get they're never

5:38

being tested for. That's right. And this was

5:40

an

5:41

epiphany for me. And

5:44

I thought, well, somebody has to do something about this.

5:47

I didn't want to do it. So I spent

5:49

the next couple of years trying to

5:51

get someone else to do this. Like I

5:54

won't name the name of the company, but there's

5:56

a rather popular

5:57

online STI testing.

6:00

company and I reached out to them

6:02

and they declined and so on and so forth.

6:04

And, you know, I finally realized

6:06

that, um, that, that I just had to be the person

6:09

to, to do this. So

6:11

we are shameless care, a telemedicine

6:13

company

6:15

that, um, serves everybody

6:17

in the United States. And we do

6:19

two things. One is at home

6:22

STI testing

6:23

at home, meaning, um, the

6:26

testing kits, you know, the finger prick,

6:28

uh, and throat swab and that sort of stuff is

6:30

shipped to people's homes. They do the

6:33

specimen collection themselves and mail it back

6:35

to the lab. And the other thing is prescription,

6:37

um, ED medication because

6:39

that can certainly be valuable to, and I'm sure we'll talk

6:41

about that, but I feel like right now we're talking about

6:44

the STI portion of things. So that

6:46

is why we started the company. It just felt

6:48

like

6:50

people are using their, they're enjoying their

6:52

mouths for unprotected oral sex and

6:54

yet never getting them tested even when they're

6:56

specifically asking for a

6:58

complete STI

7:00

exam. And that just felt pretty

7:03

disastrous to me and we wanted to do something about

7:06

it. Well, thank you for doing something about

7:08

it. I've been looking for a solution

7:10

like yours because as my wife

7:12

and I have opened up into Cali

7:15

again, um, I have

7:17

this conversation with all my potential

7:19

lovers and people will say,

7:21

Oh, I practice safe sex.

7:23

And I say, what about oral? Well, not oral, or

7:26

I've been tested. Well, what about an oral

7:29

swab? Oh, what is that?

7:30

You know, and it's amazing

7:32

to me that we can try to do

7:34

the right thing. As you say, go to the clinics, try

7:36

to get the information, and it's still not available

7:39

to us or available

7:41

without shaming conversations.

7:44

And that's the other part of this because if we

7:46

want to get healthcare, we need to be able to be

7:49

honest about our lifestyles. And

7:52

so often those conversations aren't available

7:54

to us either because of the doctor's

7:57

bias or their

7:58

preconceived notion. They see

8:00

a wedding ring on our finger and they don't even ask

8:03

about additional sexual partners or

8:05

just because doctors visits are so

8:08

rushed nowadays and we don't have time

8:10

to ask our questions. So

8:13

talk to me about the doctor

8:15

network you use and the conversations

8:18

that are available for people before

8:20

and after

8:20

that specimen testing. Absolutely.

8:23

So there's a 50 state network

8:25

of board certified physicians.

8:27

So everybody on our medical team is a

8:30

MD

8:31

and you know there's some wonderful PAs out there

8:33

and NPs and stuff like that but we just happen

8:36

to use all MDs.

8:38

They all have a high level of expertise

8:40

in STIs so

8:43

that's really helpful as well. So

8:45

believe it or not and this was actually news to me until

8:47

I got into this business. In

8:50

the United States if somebody wants an STI

8:53

test

8:54

a doctor has to write a lab requisition

8:57

for that which is essentially a prescription.

9:00

And so if somebody comes to our website and orders

9:02

an STI test the doctor

9:05

will of course write the lab requisition but

9:07

the doctor is then involved at that point and

9:09

so the patient will receive a

9:12

text and

9:14

video from that

9:16

doctor that will say you know let's say that person

9:18

lives in Idaho. Okay I'm Dr.

9:21

so-and-so a board certified internist

9:23

from the state of Idaho.

9:24

I'm your doctor looks like you're requesting STI

9:27

testing I think that's great just as a reminder

9:29

here's the test that you requested blah blah blah

9:32

and kind of explain the process and then also

9:34

open that conversation up because

9:36

people have a lot of questions about sex and

9:39

STIs and the tests that they're getting and things

9:41

like that. And so the patients are also

9:43

entitled to a year's

9:45

worth of back and forth conversation with

9:47

that doctor. Some choose not to do that at

9:49

all some will have

9:51

you know a question but some people have dozens

9:53

of questions and they're welcome to keep asking those

9:55

questions all that they like.

9:58

Once those test results come in. And of course they're

10:00

reviewed by the physician and they're

10:02

shared to the patient. This is all done through

10:05

a HIPAA compliant patient portal,

10:07

which works really quite well. People

10:09

get an email, they click the link, et

10:11

cetera, et cetera. All the information is

10:13

right there. And then if someone does test

10:16

positive for an STI, of

10:18

course the doctor is right there involved in that process

10:21

as well. If it's something that's

10:23

relatively treatable, like a gonorrhea

10:25

or chlamydia or something like that, then

10:28

the doctor is really asking the patient what they

10:30

would like to do moving forward. Of course

10:33

we can ship medication and some people

10:35

are so worried about the screen that that's how they

10:37

prefer to handle it. But

10:40

if somebody has a gonorrhea infection, time

10:42

is really of the essence because what

10:44

is asymptomatic can quickly

10:46

become symptomatic or what is symptomatic

10:49

can quickly become extremely uncomfortable. And

10:52

also people can only refrain from sex for so

10:54

long. So you need to

10:56

get them treated right away. And

10:58

so we can also send a medication,

11:01

the prescription straight to their local Walgreens

11:04

or CVS or whatever pharmacy they prefer.

11:06

And so it's kind of with them the entire,

11:09

throughout the entire process.

11:10

And I can't stress the value of that

11:12

enough and the importance

11:15

of having a sex positive practitioner

11:18

that you can be honest with and

11:20

be, even if you are a married

11:23

dude, talk about the

11:25

anal play you like or the fact that

11:27

you are planning on giving blow jobs next weekend.

11:31

We all have different sexual lifestyles

11:34

and seasons and

11:37

this discreteness, it's a real thing, especially

11:40

for people who live in rural areas

11:43

or close-knit communities where

11:45

discretion and privacy might be a real

11:48

value to you. So thank you

11:50

for offering this service. And I

11:53

do want to talk about shame-free

11:56

access to erectile medications.

12:00

Before we move on to that, I want

12:02

to ask your opinion on how

12:04

to have this conversation with new

12:06

potential partners. Because

12:09

as much as we want shame-free healthcare,

12:11

we also want shame-free conversations. And

12:14

sometimes the SDI conversation

12:16

can be really loaded and we use words

12:18

like clean or dirty that are full

12:20

of judgment. How

12:23

do you approach this conversation when vetting

12:25

new partners? Well,

12:28

first I'll tell you how not to do it. And

12:32

I can tell you some personal experience with that. My

12:34

wife and I were at a Swinger Club. This was

12:36

probably eight or nine years ago. And

12:39

I had heard on a lifestyle

12:41

podcast, you know, that you should always have this

12:44

conversation about someone's

12:46

testing history. And just to clarify

12:49

for the audience, this was long before shameless

12:51

care. But I had

12:53

heard you're supposed to have this conversation. And so

12:55

we were really, you know, I was hell bent

12:57

to do this. And so we met this couple.

12:59

We were having a great time. We

13:01

moved it into a playroom. Everybody's

13:04

undressing and, you know,

13:05

everybody's had a few drinks by this point.

13:09

And I asked them about their STI

13:11

testing history.

13:13

And the guy said, oh, don't worry

13:15

about that. We get tested at work. And

13:18

I think I was just so sort of drunk

13:20

and horny at that point that that all made sense.

13:23

And I was like, oh, cool. And then the next morning I realized

13:25

that made no sense at all. Why

13:27

did I go along with that? That

13:30

person clearly had no idea what I was talking

13:32

about. So I wouldn't recommend

13:35

doing it that way, for sure. We

13:38

strive for sober conversations. But

13:40

yeah, for sure. Yeah, I

13:42

think some parties have been

13:43

goal overall in general. But

13:46

yeah, so that's not how to do it. You know, one of the

13:49

things that seems really harmful to me the more

13:51

I think about

13:52

this situation with STI testing is

13:55

the term panel or the term

13:57

complete panel or the term everything.

13:59

or works or what

14:02

have you. Yeah, I definitely agree.

14:04

If somebody has an STI

14:07

using the phrase clean or dirty, I think that's

14:09

a given, that's a really terrible way

14:12

to go about it. It's so

14:14

shameful and aggressive. But

14:17

the reason why I talk about this issue with full panel,

14:20

for example, is because most

14:22

people don't really know what they were tested for.

14:24

And they certainly don't know the areas that they

14:26

were tested for. And that really matters

14:29

because

14:30

two people can meet in a hot tub

14:33

at a resort somewhere, let's

14:35

say. And let's say that they're both

14:37

sober and they're having really thoughtful conversations.

14:41

This is going somewhere, they're gonna have sex, they hope.

14:45

And one of them says, I was tested for everything.

14:47

And the other person says, me too, awesome. Let's

14:49

go do this. It might be that they

14:52

weren't tested for the same things at all. Like

14:54

that is just such a meaningless phrase because

14:56

ultimately it's up to what that doctor types

14:58

into their computer when they're

15:00

half listening, half trying to do their medical

15:02

notes at the same time. In that exam room, everybody

15:05

listening knows exactly what I'm talking about. We

15:07

expect these doctors to do two or three things at once.

15:10

And oftentimes these panels

15:13

are just not anywhere near complete. And

15:15

you know what, that's okay, but we all

15:17

need to be speaking the same language. So if

15:19

somebody says, I was tested for everything, what

15:22

would make more sense is if they took the time

15:24

to say,

15:25

or learn while I was tested

15:27

for HIV, that was a blood test. I

15:29

was tested for hepatitis C, that was a blood,

15:32

so on and so forth. And I think that

15:34

ends up being a much more thoughtful conversation.

15:36

And not everybody's capable of doing that, but certainly

15:39

people who are invested in

15:42

the non-monogamy community, people who are polyamorous,

15:45

people who have really made this their lifestyle in

15:47

one way or another, and people who are listening to sex podcasts,

15:50

that's what I would challenge them to do, is

15:52

if nothing else, take a look at your last

15:55

STI test,

15:56

and try to commit to memory

15:59

what you were actually... tested for and the

16:01

areas that you were tested because if that test

16:03

says gonorrhea and chlamydia, but

16:05

you weren't throat swab tested, then you were

16:07

only tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia, genitally

16:10

not in your throat. And that's okay,

16:12

no judgment. I was in the same place, you

16:14

know, a couple of years ago. But I think just

16:17

understanding what's going on so that you can

16:19

speak speak that language of STI panels

16:21

is really important.

16:23

Yeah,

16:24

totally. And being able to have that conversation

16:27

with potential lovers, you know, the throat swab

16:29

for me is always kind of a shortcut

16:32

into a more thorough conversation. Because

16:35

it's true, we're horny for one another, we're

16:37

trying to, you know, get

16:40

in one another's

16:40

pants, like there's a tendency to

16:43

rush through these conversations, when

16:47

we could actually take the time to slow it down

16:49

and learn something about each other. But

16:52

to get skilled with that, we

16:53

need practice, and we need support.

16:56

And that's one of the reasons I love your service

16:58

is because you have that support of a practitioner,

17:01

a doctor, that

17:02

relationship with

17:04

a doctor will support you

17:06

in dissolving shame. And I think that's

17:08

the flip side of this. It's not just the absence

17:11

of shame. It's by taking

17:14

healthy steps to care

17:16

for ourselves, to have these conversations

17:18

with our partners, which it's

17:21

really like, you know, we talked about having the

17:23

STI conversation. And that's

17:25

an act of love. That's

17:27

an act of care. That's an act of horniness,

17:29

like just how deeply can I devour

17:31

you tonight, my dear. And

17:34

we can have these conversations with

17:36

a lot of enthusiasm. And

17:38

as we do that, we dissolve shame for

17:41

ourselves and for one another. So

17:44

thank you for

17:44

being part of that conversation. Let's

17:46

take a minute and thank our sponsors for

17:49

this episode. DipseaStories.com

17:53

slash pleasure is where you

17:55

will find a treasure trove

17:57

of beautiful audio

17:59

erotica to inspire

18:02

you, delight you, and turn you on.

18:06

Whether you are lounging by the pool this

18:08

summer, soaking in the sun in your own

18:10

backyard, or even stuck on

18:13

a long commute, dipsystories.com

18:16

can be your portal into

18:19

a world of sexual adventure

18:21

and thrilling stories, with characters

18:24

that sweep you off your feet, speak

18:27

directly to you as a hungry

18:29

lover,

18:29

or take you on beautiful romantic

18:33

journeys. Radically inclusive,

18:35

Dipsy has stories for straight and queer

18:38

listeners, 56% of the stories are

18:41

voice acted by people of color,

18:43

and you can find audio that

18:45

speaks to all kinds of interests,

18:48

lifestyles, and kinks. For

18:51

listeners of the show, Dipsy is

18:53

offering an extended 30-day

18:56

free trial when you go to dipsystories.com

18:59

slash pleasure. That's 30

19:03

days of full access for free

19:05

when you go to dipsystories.com

19:09

slash pleasure. That's D-I-P-S-E-A

19:12

dipsystories.com slash

19:15

pleasure. You will find this link

19:17

in the show notes and at pleasuremechanics.com

19:21

slash toolbox. We'd also

19:23

like to thank Green Chef for

19:26

keeping us well fed and healthy this

19:28

summer, with delicious meal

19:29

kits shipped straight to our door,

19:32

customized for our specific

19:35

dietary needs and preferences. Whether

19:38

you are keto, gluten-free,

19:40

dairy-free, vegetarian, vegan,

19:43

some combination of the above like

19:45

we are, Green Chef has meal

19:47

kits to nourish you and stimulate

19:50

your senses. We love

19:52

the food from Green Chef, eating well doesn't

19:55

have to be boring. Green Chef

19:57

satisfies our cravings for adventurous

19:59

eating. eats and novelties. And

20:02

Green Chef is always delighting

20:04

us with their herbaceous sauces

20:07

and beautiful ingredients like tart

20:09

cherries and salads. That's

20:11

one of my new favorites. Go to greenchef.com

20:15

slash pleasure50 and

20:18

use the code pleasure5050 to get 50%

20:20

off plus free shipping. That's

20:26

greenchef.com slash pleasure50.

20:29

You're going to use the code pleasure50, get 50% off, free

20:33

shipping. Try it out. It's the

20:35

number one meal kit for eating well.

20:38

Big thanks to greenchef.com

20:40

slash pleasure50. You'll

20:43

find this link in the show notes and

20:45

at pleasuremechanics.com

20:47

slash toolbox. And now

20:50

back to our interview.

20:51

And let's shift now and talk about

20:53

erectile medications because

20:56

this is another area that

20:58

there is so much shame-based

21:00

marketing around. We've

21:02

actually never

21:03

run an ad for an erectile

21:06

medication company until now.

21:08

So talk to me about your approach to

21:11

erectile medications and

21:13

how your

21:13

voice, how your offering kind of differs

21:16

from so many of the companies

21:18

that make guys feel bad for even needing this product.

21:21

OK. Well,

21:23

the shame-based thing is really kind of, it's

21:28

an interesting topic, right? Because we

21:30

have this 50-state network of

21:32

medical providers. And we gathered these

21:35

folks together in order to be able to do the STI

21:37

testing. Because we could do the STI

21:40

testing and we had the medical network, we decided

21:42

to do the ED medication as well, which I do

21:44

feel like is really needed

21:46

for a lot of men and important and,

21:49

frankly, useful in certain situations.

21:51

But we could

21:53

have also done other things like testosterone

21:55

replacement therapy or baldness

21:58

medications or these sorts of things.

21:59

that people clearly want

22:02

but I couldn't think of a way to possibly

22:04

market those without you

22:06

know like the TRT medication they all

22:09

use like really jacked guys as like

22:11

the as like the marketing and that's sending

22:13

the message like if you don't look like this you

22:16

need this drug you know or baldness

22:18

you know like I'm a bald man I'm totally

22:21

totally fine with it it's hard to sell baldness

22:24

medication without talking

22:26

about how unattractive bald people are

22:28

or something like that so we've

22:29

we've really tried to focus

22:32

on marketing without

22:34

shame and that has its challenges

22:37

quite frankly when you're talking about STI

22:39

testing because

22:41

I'm extremely sex-positive and

22:43

I already shared the story about how I at

22:46

one time contracted gonorrhea but guess

22:48

what that was not even really a problem

22:51

of all the the colds I've

22:53

had and things like that my gonorrhea

22:55

was it didn't I mean like I told you my

22:57

case was asymptomatic so I had a little

23:00

better than some other people but you

23:02

know I ended up getting a shot of antibiotics and

23:04

and boom you're cured it's like you never got it it's

23:06

just not anything for people to be I

23:09

mean people are gonna be upset and I

23:11

get it I'm not shaming them for being upset but but

23:14

but physically it's just not

23:16

really that big of a deal and that's

23:18

not the way that most people sell STI

23:21

tests and so we're trying

23:23

to sell STI tests from this really sex-positive

23:26

sex is great go do your thing live your

23:29

best life point of view

23:32

and boy adding a little bit of shame in there

23:34

probably would help close to more sales

23:37

I dare say because you you

23:39

have

23:39

to have some reason why people are are

23:42

compelled to buy but but but I appreciate

23:44

you saying that because shame

23:46

free is something that's that's really important

23:49

really important to us

23:51

yeah and as you said it all plays on

23:53

so many you know tired gender scripts

23:56

and you know

23:58

scripts around

23:59

that sex needs to look like in order to

24:02

be successful. And this is why

24:04

we've been in conversation for almost 500 episodes now is

24:07

because we need to unpack all of that. And

24:10

we have spoken on this podcast countless

24:13

times about

24:14

erections being able to come and go.

24:18

Soft penis pleasures is one

24:20

of our most popular episodes and

24:22

we get so many responses to

24:24

that because a soft penis

24:26

can be pleasured, can be used for

24:29

intercourse. There

24:31

is so much play available

24:33

for penises in all states

24:36

of erection. And

24:39

sometimes you want a

24:42

more reliable erection and these

24:44

drugs are really effective for

24:46

that. I recently have had

24:48

a few lovers that use them and there was something

24:51

for me about kind of seeing and feeling

24:53

them in use that really, it's

24:55

like there's something really beautiful about it because

24:57

it can just relax

24:59

the situation so you can relax

25:02

and enjoy each other which is what we always

25:04

talk about on this show.

25:06

So some guys

25:08

have used a right dial medication, some

25:10

guys have been curious about it. We

25:13

also hear from a category of guys who say

25:15

that they used it, it used to work,

25:17

but it no longer works. What is that

25:19

about?

25:20

That's a very good question. So sometimes

25:24

people are not dosed properly and there's

25:26

several different drugs out on the market but

25:29

for example, if somebody's taking five milligrams,

25:31

it's a dollar fill, that's a dose

25:33

that we offer but that

25:36

is under dosing for a lot

25:38

of people.

25:39

And so if somebody has taken

25:41

the drugs and it used to work and now it doesn't,

25:44

I would suggest that then that they should probably talk

25:47

to their doctor and try to switch the medication or

25:51

up the dosage. Something else

25:53

to realize about these drugs, there's a couple

25:55

things. One is that the research is

25:57

quite clear

25:59

that people do not... become dependent upon

26:01

them. So in other words, it's not

26:03

like if you start using ED medication

26:05

as like a performance booster and then,

26:10

but suddenly now you can't get hard without

26:12

it. That's not

26:14

something that happens.

26:17

But the other thing to realize about these drugs is

26:19

that you do have to be

26:21

somewhat relaxed and sexually

26:23

aroused. So if somebody

26:26

is in a full on panic,

26:28

which can easily happen, especially in some

26:31

non-monogamy situations like

26:33

there's been plenty of times when I felt

26:35

like a total rock star. I'm in this

26:38

crazy fun situation, but

26:41

goodness knows what's going on in my brain

26:43

is probably a lot of panic alarms going

26:46

off that are not conducive to erections.

26:50

And so that's the other thing too. Like if someone finds

26:52

themselves in a situation where they're

26:54

just not comfortable in the situation for whatever

26:56

reason, then they can take all the

26:58

drugs in the world and it's not going to make much difference.

27:02

There is obviously

27:03

billions of dollars

27:05

per year in the illegal drug

27:08

trade. These drugs are fair to

27:10

get from online

27:12

websites and things like that, or

27:15

just from friends. One

27:18

of the things, because I'm not an MD, we

27:20

hire MDs. One of the things that was really surprising

27:23

to me is just how dangerous these drugs

27:25

can be for some men. They are prescription

27:27

drugs in the United States for a reason. Sometimes

27:32

men have cardiac issues

27:35

or they're taking another medication that

27:37

this would interfere with. When

27:42

I first started in the lifestyle, Viagra,

27:45

for example, was not in generic form.

27:47

It was about $70 per dose. That

27:50

was a time in my life when my income was pretty

27:52

low. That was a pretty big decision for

27:54

me if I wanted to take a $70 pill or not. But

27:58

now companies like Shameen...

27:59

care for probably three or

28:02

four dollars per pill can

28:05

help men get the prescription, the

28:07

year's worth of ongoing medical care,

28:09

the medication, and the shipping. And

28:12

so there's just no reason for people

28:14

to fool around with these illegal drugs

28:17

that can really be dangerous because

28:19

even if the drug itself is not

28:22

dangerous for somebody out there, like there might be somebody

28:24

listening who's like, yeah but I'm healthy and I'm not in

28:26

any medication.

28:28

The fact is these drugs

28:30

that are circulating in the United States illegally

28:33

are not pharmacy, real pharmacy

28:35

drugs. These are drugs manufactured

28:38

for the illicit drug trade and

28:41

nobody really knows for sure what's in

28:43

them or what the dose desire or what the inactive

28:46

ingredients are. And so there's a really

28:49

opportunity for people

28:51

to be harmed in that way. And so whether

28:53

you use our company or not, and I certainly hope that people

28:56

do use our company, at

28:57

the very least walk away

28:59

from these illegally obtained

29:02

drugs because they really can be quite

29:04

dangerous.

29:06

And that's so good to notice again,

29:08

the way shame drives

29:10

us into behaviors that

29:13

we deserve better than,

29:15

right? We all deserve access

29:17

to

29:18

adequate health care. And that's a bigger

29:20

conversation in this country, right? Access

29:22

to health care period. But

29:24

we certainly deserve access to

29:27

legal,

29:29

real prescription drugs

29:31

when we need

29:32

them. And to doctors

29:34

we can be in conversation about. I'm so glad

29:36

you brought that up because, you know, if you buy

29:38

meds from the dark web, there's no one

29:40

to text to if your

29:42

heart starts racing during

29:44

sex and you're worried about that

29:46

or if you want to change your dosage

29:49

and want to try something new.

29:52

To me, you know,

29:54

and we have a lot of clients that really,

29:57

without the medication, they are physically incapable

29:59

of. obtaining or maintaining an erection. But we

30:02

have a lot of customers who use this basically

30:05

as a confidence booster, as

30:07

a performance booster. And what I mean by that is,

30:10

is somebody's on a first

30:12

date and somebody's

30:16

on a first date and those

30:18

genes are being unbuttoned or something like

30:20

that. And boom, if that dick,

30:23

and I'm not shaming people who wouldn't be in this situation,

30:25

but if that dick is hard, like immediately,

30:29

everybody just feels like, wow, this is

30:32

no problems today. And then that's like the

30:34

end of thinking about it. Whereas, I can

30:37

assure you that a lot of men, if that

30:39

dick is completely flaccid at first, one of

30:41

their first thoughts is, oh no, is

30:44

this going to work? And as

30:46

anybody with a penis can tell you, that is a great

30:48

way to make sure that it doesn't work.

30:50

And

30:52

we're gonna continue this cultural conversation

30:55

so there's less and less pressure on

30:57

this quote unquote working or not. And

31:00

while we have that conversation to unpack

31:03

all of the cultural scripts, we

31:05

all still date and play within them.

31:07

And I think that's one of the things I was reminded

31:09

as I started playing with men again,

31:12

is like we can have these aspirations

31:15

towards a new sexual culture

31:18

where these things aren't anxieties and

31:21

many of them are lifelong anxieties.

31:24

And as long as we carry them,

31:26

we need to work with them. And

31:29

these kind of medications are a tool.

31:31

And that's really what I've learned

31:33

really firsthand. And I

31:35

want people to open their minds into is like,

31:37

this is a tool used to enhance pleasure,

31:40

much like a vibrator you might reach

31:42

for to make a certain

31:45

response more reliable. And

31:48

it doesn't replace arousal, as you said. And

31:50

one of the things I love my partners do is they

31:53

ask me if it's a night to

31:55

use the medications, right? So they involve me

31:57

in the conversation. And that's...

31:59

kind of part of our conversation of how do we want

32:02

to play tonight? Because

32:04

sometimes I'm pegging them and so they

32:06

don't need them as much. But

32:09

if it's my turn to get reamed, we do. So

32:12

thank you for

32:13

providing these tools. And

32:16

more importantly, the container

32:19

to access these tools without being

32:21

shamed, and with the support

32:23

of an educated network of practitioners.

32:27

I can't stress the value of that

32:29

enough. People

32:31

come to us with their medical questions,

32:33

we say talk to your doctor. If you

32:35

don't have a doctor you trust, this is a great

32:38

way to access sexual health care,

32:40

shame free. Thank you so

32:42

much for having this conversation with us. We

32:45

will have links to Shameless Care

32:47

in the show notes and at pleasuremechanics.com

32:51

toolbox. You have been generous

32:54

enough

32:54

to provide our listeners with a beautiful

32:56

discount on their first order. So

32:59

they can try these services and start

33:02

this habit of sexual self care. Robert

33:05

from Shameless Care, thank you so much for joining us

33:07

on speaking of sex. Yeah,

33:09

thank you so much. One more thing I will mention

33:11

about that discount code is particularly

33:14

on the ED medication.

33:16

Anybody who uses that discount code can

33:19

try Shameless Care for basically how

33:21

much your copay would cost at your doctor. So

33:23

if you just don't feel like having that awkward conversation

33:26

with your doctor,

33:27

honestly, I think these drugs are so inexpensive

33:30

now as generics that there's really

33:32

no reason to, even

33:34

for people who are fully insured, there's probably

33:37

little incentive to go and have that conversation

33:39

with your doctor. Take a half a day off

33:41

work and then go spend time at the pharmacy for

33:44

basically $30 or so. You can get three months worth

33:46

of treatment, including

33:49

the prescription, the medication, the shipping and

33:51

everything like that. And then all

33:53

of your doctor interactions are with someone who just

33:55

thinks you're really cool. Like no matter what you

33:57

tell them, they're going to be like, right on.

33:59

Yeah.

33:59

Sure, let's do it. Let's figure out

34:02

how to do this safely. Yeah, Robert,

34:04

thank you so much for your contribution to

34:06

a healthier sex culture for us

34:09

all. Thank you. I really appreciate your kind words

34:11

there.

34:11

Big thanks to Robert and the entire

34:13

team at shamelesscare.com. If

34:16

you are inspired to take next steps

34:19

in your sexual health care journey, go

34:21

to shamelesscare.com, use

34:24

the coupon code pleasure for

34:26

a generous discount on your first

34:28

order. And you will find this

34:31

link in the show notes and at

34:33

pleasuremechanics.com slash

34:35

toolbox. Charlotte is

34:38

back from vacation today. Tonight

34:40

I get to pick her up at the airport. And

34:43

we will be back together next

34:45

week for a new episode of Speaking

34:47

of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics.

34:50

I'm Chris from pleasuremechanics.com, wishing

34:53

you a lifetime of pleasure.

34:55

Cheers.