0:00

Hi, everyone. It's Pat Billy here.

0:02

Thanks for coming. Listen

0:04

to our podcast. If you want more podcasts,

0:07

You can go patreon dot com slash

0:09

boat lore where you can give us

0:12

the money and I like money so

0:14

I can buy snacks.

0:20

Other reference, let me tell you a tale of

0:23

three heroes over the globe. abruited

0:26

crude and the thing who is

0:28

but not years old. You know

0:30

that my name, you know that my name,

0:32

their quests are famously dairings. So

0:35

here, I said, singing to you and

0:37

adventure that is for sharing. Tap

0:40

is the broom. She knows how to spell me

0:42

last to sing and find. Things

0:45

at the house and shifts to shape and meal

0:47

to stay with great mind. Billie's

0:49

a thief. This tiny size does that

0:52

the largest lawn. Best

0:54

in reds. They may not be able to

0:56

think about where is this lawn. So

0:59

gather up friends.

1:08

so

1:10

Hello,

1:12

everybody, and welcome to Spout

1:14

lore. I'm your game master, Shawn O'Hara.

1:16

Joining me is always playing to comedown the Barbarian

1:18

Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing

1:20

Veng the half out Drew at Paul Oppers. Hi

1:22

there. Playing Fability, the half length thief at

1:24

Jessica time. Hello. When last

1:27

we left our heroes, they had been delivered

1:29

the judgment of how Bonya's Oval

1:31

Council. Kill the

1:33

man known as the Ranger King or forfeit

1:35

your own life. The party then

1:38

hit the beach and spent

1:40

a long time trying to figure out how to get out

1:42

of a thing that had not been declared

1:44

yet. In

1:46

classic spell Lord fashion, how do we get

1:48

out of the rules that we don't even

1:50

know yet. We

1:53

meds artholomew Theodore

1:55

Tiddley winks the second. Esquire. Esquire.

1:59

A quote unquote lawyer slash

2:01

barrister, end quote, who

2:04

said that, you know, he wasn't sure that he could help

2:06

you, but he'll take some notes and he's got, you know,

2:08

he's gonna start working on a plan to get

2:10

you out of this guesh that has

2:12

been laid upon Vings

2:14

brow alone. Mhmm. Billy

2:17

made a quick visit to

2:19

a cave. that existed on

2:21

the shore of Hibernia, which

2:23

appears to hold many memories

2:26

and many momentos. from

2:29

Billy's eternal past,

2:31

a little home, home away well, home

2:33

at home -- Mhmm. -- to visit when he

2:35

comes home. Billy was feeling very

2:37

strongly about having to leave viburnia. It

2:40

was so sad. It was so sad. Yeah.

2:42

Jessica cried. I know. I didn't mean too.

2:45

That was maybe the best actually we've ever done in

2:47

the podcast to say. Okay.

2:50

So the guest was applied. kill the

2:52

man known as the ranger king in two moons time

2:54

or your life is forfeit. The

2:57

party, left hyperspace, packed

2:59

up the sunrunner, Tuck made an impassioned

3:01

plea to the green speaker,

3:04

Judah, Savannah, throwing her

3:06

a small bale of hay. After

3:10

summoning a large portion of the villagers

3:12

of Hibernia with a Veng

3:15

enhanced scream of her name,

3:18

Yeah. I mean, a plea

3:20

is maybe a strong maybe

3:23

too strong in terms of like what I did.

3:25

I mean because I wasn't asking for

3:27

anything. Not on the outside.

3:29

Not on the inside. You were begging,

3:31

pleading. Please love me. And

3:34

you know what? She didn't

3:37

or at least lust me. And in that

3:39

way, all of Chuck's actions could

3:41

be considered in passion, please. And

3:44

then the party headed off, the sunrunner

3:48

sailed away into the gray once more,

3:50

traveling through its impenetrable mists

3:53

Until emerging from a stone

3:56

jutting out of the ocean, Stone I,

3:58

who said that he doesn't care what the

4:00

council says, You have broken

4:02

the accords of the island, and he will

4:04

visit his wrath upon you in due time.

4:07

And then tuck in vain

4:09

sat with Billy as he

4:12

hid his tearful face in his

4:14

anger at leaving Hibernia before

4:17

being presented with a mimic moth in a

4:19

cage containing images

4:21

of his island home. And

4:24

that is where we find our heroes now

4:26

traveling through the gray. how's

4:29

everybody been doing? I think it's maybe been

4:31

a day of sailing,

4:34

slow going. Ollie's trying to keep it

4:36

real tight because you don't have guides

4:38

this time, so he's just trying to plot his

4:40

way through. He also, I think,

4:42

is like, oh, where he doesn't know

4:44

what Jonai is planning. I think we're all

4:46

kind of, like, Yeah. He could be anywhere.

4:48

Living under the Paul of that potential threat.

4:50

So we're like, what the we gotta get out

4:52

of here as quick as possible and onto dry

4:54

land. Mhmm. No problem.

4:56

towards the edge of the gray. Oh,

4:59

really, Vang. Thank you. Just

5:02

keep on keeping on. Just go to that. just

5:04

leave the fog. That's Because

5:06

why didn't I think about that? He breaks

5:08

his hand across the bow of the boat.

5:10

Oh, is that where I'm going? Oli

5:13

seems more stressed than he's been this

5:15

whole time. He's just dancing

5:17

over shoulder. There's a lot of, like, beer

5:19

bottles clanking around on the ground.

5:22

wondering, like, where he got all this beer

5:24

from.

5:25

Billy's catching in them and nets as a

5:27

game.

5:27

Yeah. He's just

5:29

tossing them over his shoulder poop into

5:31

their water. So

5:33

I guess yeah. Is is there anything in

5:35

particular that the gang has pursued

5:38

or talked about that we wanna

5:40

cover in the last day?

5:41

I think we had, like, a dinner,

5:43

like, a dinner. Maybe we, like,

5:45

talked about our plans for when we get there.

5:47

Well, then let's manage provisions,

5:50

baby. Okay. it. What is that? That's

5:52

the other move where we make dinner.

5:54

Oh, cool. Dinner time.

5:56

Who's who's making dinner? Yeah.

5:59

Billy good. No. I think we're all we

6:01

should all do it. It's fun. Well, someone's

6:03

got a role. Oh, Billy u role. Yeah.

6:05

Billy prep. Okay.

6:06

Billy suggests we make a family dinner.

6:08

Mhmm.

6:08

Yeah. And we feel bad

6:10

because we told him that moth was gonna die.

6:13

So we were just like, sure. Yeah. Whatever

6:15

you say. because after left, we're like, I

6:17

shouldn't have had that thing. I

6:19

shouldn't have reminded him that everything that

6:21

has. So her role, plus

6:23

anything. Wisdom. twelve.

6:26

Wow. Beautiful. It's a great show.

6:28

On a Polish show. I mean, I already

6:30

know what one you're gonna choose, but on a

6:32

ten plus choose one from the list below. Careful

6:34

management reduces the amount of rations consumed,

6:36

ask the GM by how much. Or

6:38

the party consumes the expected amount of

6:40

food and the food you prepare is ex talent

6:42

to describe it, and everyone who licks their

6:44

lips takes plus one forward. As if

6:46

anyone would pick the knot I know.

6:48

Exactly. Of course, you would pick that. Like, I'm not

6:50

even gonna tell you what the second one is

6:52

anymore because the other one's the most

6:54

fun. Yeah. Yeah. We all wanna lick our

6:56

lips at each other. Okay. Let's

6:58

hear it. What kind of meal do you

7:00

make? We're

7:02

making like a macaroni and cheese

7:04

with hot dogs because that is

7:06

what Ollander has

7:07

on board. Yeah. He's like, no. It's the perfect

7:10

meal because the macaronis dry already,

7:12

so it keeps for a long time. And the hot dogs

7:14

are already cooked, like, they're smoked. So

7:16

they stand they keep for a long time too.

7:18

I've had these hot dogs for three and a half years.

7:20

But

7:20

the cheese is the hard thing to make.

7:22

Yeah. The cheese cheese is not so

7:24

good. We can use c cheese. What's

7:26

c cheese? It's a foam that gathers on

7:28

the shores of the north after

7:30

a storm. Looks like a

7:32

byproduct of An

7:34

LG? I'm sorry. This I'm not making it sound good,

7:36

but trust me. It's fucking delicious when you make it with

7:38

hot dogs. I mean, the only other

7:40

option is

7:41

like this old bread

7:43

that looks cheese

7:45

flavor. You have blue

7:47

cheese? It's it's not cheese flavored,

7:49

but it is technically kind of

7:51

cheese now. We can put our hands together.

7:53

Yeah. So where do

7:55

you get the c cheese from? You said it is on

7:57

the door, back lips off.

7:59

So BOB.

8:02

Ed, where so where does Vic go to get this cheap? Just

8:04

along the shoulder, along the shore. So he can see He

8:07

just finds a shore. Yeah. There's, like, a little

8:09

alcove, you know. Gotcha. We had to wait for

8:11

slacktide, of course. Mhmm. Then

8:13

I'd come back with a, like, a

8:15

net, empty

8:17

net, and then I will hold it. I'm like,

8:19

I'll be right back. Come back with

8:21

a bladder full of sheep. And,

8:26

yeah, so you throw it in the macaroni

8:29

and hot dogs. Yeah. Any

8:31

powdered red cheese. Yeah.

8:32

I'm like crumbling the

8:35

bread with my hands. It's

8:36

because it's so hard. And

8:40

I'm like, Tuck,

8:41

you can cut the hot dogs and I'll make the

8:43

cheese. I do

8:45

that. I take the waning knife and I'm like,

8:47

you're cutting hot dogs with the waning fruit

8:49

out of it. And I'm like, this is what it's

8:52

for, dude. Is it? I

8:54

said, Chuck says that to to the

8:56

ghost of Chose. Yeah. He

9:01

makes Spider dogs. Nice.

9:03

Oh, anglia. Everybody loves

9:05

Spider dogs. He's like Billy Look,

9:07

Whoa. It's like a I

9:09

don't know what that looks like. It's

9:10

a fighter. Oh, god. I

9:13

thought you were gonna say he makes porn and Scorpion

9:17

That's so funny. I'm gonna

9:19

do that now. Spider dogs

9:21

and porn scorpion dogs. to

9:23

see how much it looks like a points curve in? I don't

9:26

know why you would. Was

9:28

it a plus? I don't know.

9:30

dexterity, I guess. text editing

9:32

zero. Tonight, beautiful.

9:34

It looks pretty much like they both

9:36

kinda look the same. But depending

9:38

on what you say it is, you can kinda

9:40

see it, you know. Big eyes. Why didn't uh-oh?

9:43

They look too good.

9:45

I think I wanna fuck this hot dog

9:47

now.

9:47

And Billy's getting really sweaty with the bread, so it's kinda

9:50

turning into like a

9:50

cheese. Oh. What?

9:54

It's not so gross when I make the

9:57

potions. Wait. You

9:59

use your sweat to make the

9:59

potions too. Yeah. We make golden

10:02

fruit. Oh,

10:03

gross. Billing. You need friends

10:05

with that. Yeah. What

10:07

else what else am I gonna use?

10:09

Yeah. You're right.

10:12

Like, you're right. The other one look,

10:14

it tastes the same. No. There's no

10:16

shame in using the juice that

10:18

falls out of your body body. No

10:20

body issues in this family. Right?

10:22

body juice,

10:25

delicious. So

10:27

here was what we've got macaroni

10:29

and porn scorpion hot

10:31

dogs. with mushy

10:33

bread that has turned into sweat cheese. Yeah.

10:35

And

10:35

I did add a handful of paprika and

10:38

a

10:38

handful of salt. That saved it.

10:40

There's the only two spices that Oleander

10:42

has. It's hot. Like, we opened the spice cabinet

10:44

and we're like, wow. This guy is so divorced.

10:46

It's crazy. He hit there's so many

10:49

different jars of different sizes and everything, but all of

10:51

them have either sauce or boneless or

10:53

boneless or boneless. I

10:55

can't taste any other spices, so I just

10:57

use these ones. And

10:59

then on top of that, coastal

11:01

sea cheese -- Yeah. -- was stirred in

11:03

to stirred in, making a

11:05

floppy cheesy. It looks

11:07

kinda cheesy. It

11:09

looks good. It

11:10

looks good. Oh, and what are

11:12

these? And I go in the

11:14

corner of the pantry and there's like a bunch

11:16

of dried chili's, like whole chilies, and I

11:18

grabbed six

11:19

of them. Oh, boy. Of course. I'm

11:21

in the pod. Yeah.

11:25

Billy slips it in there just before everybody

11:27

starts eating. Yeah. Wow. So every once in a while

11:29

someone gets a whole chili and just

11:31

goes, You can't

11:33

hear it, but everybody's licking their lips.

11:36

Just a good look.

11:37

Holy shit.

11:40

Alright. Are my lips weird? No. No.

11:42

I just never see your lips. much of them

11:44

because your especially your upper lip because your

11:46

mustache covers it all. And you're you're kinda

11:48

pulling it up right now. Yeah.

11:50

Okay, Ricky. Ready? I'm gonna do it. I'm

11:52

gonna lick this thing for all I

11:54

choose the non licking lick this.

11:57

That's a good picture. So everybody can see a

11:59

dual's

11:59

upper lip. So everybody

12:01

gets plus one forward to their next role for

12:03

this delicious family meal. which

12:05

even if the food didn't come out exactly like you

12:07

were hoping, the bonding experience has

12:10

raised your spirits. Mhmm. Definitely,

12:13

not hygienic though. Anyway. Well,

12:15

I mean, it's just your sweat building. No.

12:17

You can't be hygienic. There

12:19

is lineup at the

12:21

head. Yeah. Yeah.

12:24

Which is, of course, a hole that goes

12:26

straight into the water. Yeah.

12:28

But it is getting much use Amazing.

12:31

So that was, you know, that was a nice

12:33

kind of afternoon evening experience

12:35

that everybody had. You guys are just

12:37

sitting around on the deck The light

12:40

starts to dim in the gray.

12:42

Lamps begin to be lit on the deck of the ship.

12:44

We have a razor that has like an iron bottom, so you

12:46

can have a fire on the deck. Yeah.

12:48

That's nice. all sitting around a little fire

12:50

pit -- Mhmm. -- on the deck of the ship as you

12:52

sail through the gray?

12:54

Yeah. So okay. This

12:56

is Perrell speaking. He's rubbing his hands in front of

12:58

the fire. I have a question. Do you think it has to be

13:01

me

13:01

that that needs

13:02

to kill the Ranger King

13:05

to fulfill the Gesh? What

13:07

were the what was the words exactly? And

13:09

Bartholomew walks up with his

13:11

clipper and goes, The words exactly were

13:13

kill the man known as the ranger

13:15

king in two moon's time, or

13:17

your life will be offered instead.

13:21

They

13:21

didn't say it specifically though.

13:23

No. I guess yeah. I guess not.

13:25

Uh-huh. Also something

13:27

that I noticed, me, Bartholomew,

13:29

Theodore Tilly Wink's the second s wire.

13:33

That reminds me of Monroe versus

13:35

Monroe. Yes. That this was

13:37

another case that I took in black in

13:39

black glass. where a man

13:41

had

13:41

driven his cart through the front

13:44

of a taco place. And

13:46

I was able to determine that

13:49

because it was a horse drawn

13:51

carriage that actually the horse was legally

13:53

responsible and not the man. He

13:55

got off scuff free. They killed the horse.

13:57

The horse was hanged by the neck until

13:59

it was dead. But

14:01

trust me, that horse deserve it.

14:04

That horse had a record as long as my

14:06

left arm, which is slightly longer than

14:08

my right. Anyways,

14:12

This reminds me of Munro versus Munro

14:14

in the way that it is not quite similar,

14:16

but there was a technicality involved.

14:18

They said kill the man

14:20

known as the ranger king. true.

14:22

Not kill your

14:24

father, Nathaniel, whatever. So

14:26

what if we just get someone else to be

14:28

the ranger king? Uh-huh. Or we find

14:30

a different Ranger King. Okay? And

14:33

Or perhaps there's something to

14:35

be said for the the

14:38

symbolic death of

14:40

the ranger king, quote unquote,

14:42

perhaps if you were able to, in some

14:44

way, abolish the monarchy.

14:47

Right. Or Yeah. We could

14:48

definitely do that in two months. That

14:50

sounds amazing. I like the

14:52

way you're thinking. How many years has the

14:54

kingdoms in the burial reach existed

14:56

for.

14:59

So many years. Like

15:03

so many. Vangout

15:05

one of the chilis. Stuckiness inside

15:07

my my lips are normal. Many

15:12

many years Yeah. You you

15:14

you like easily -- Yeah. -- thousands,

15:16

thousands, and thousands. So we have two months to

15:18

destroy a monarchy potentially that

15:20

has less info out of here. Yeah.

15:22

That sounds slightly harder than

15:24

registered. I mean, if you've have you

15:26

ever registered it before? Is this

15:28

your first one? Maggie? Me?

15:30

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've done it. Okay. I

15:32

did it one time. And what if you're like,

15:36

well, killing always feels bad. I'm sure

15:38

you're aware of that, but this

15:40

one felt worth it. We're

15:42

eating kraft dinner. Yeah.

15:45

She's also eating kraft dinner. Yeah. I

15:47

think you'll find that it is difficult

15:51

but worthwhile endeavor.

15:53

Was any of them your

15:55

father figure? No. No.

15:58

No. No. But if I had the opportunity to kill my

15:59

father, I think I probably would have done it.

16:02

If you know if you know what I mean.

16:04

What any

16:06

tips or tricks, Maggie? Well,

16:08

actually, one one thing that I

16:10

have found has been useful

16:12

in the past is the

16:14

worst time to attempt to

16:18

destroy a monarch of any kind

16:20

is when they have the support of

16:22

their people at their back. So

16:24

if you can find a way to maybe turn some of his

16:26

allies against him. That might make your job a little easier.

16:28

Okay. So we're back into abolishing the

16:30

monarchy maybe. Or just

16:32

deposing him. Yeah. Or just killing

16:34

your dad. Yeah. You know,

16:36

I've been thinking on that for

16:38

many years. Yeah. Do

16:41

you do you want I kill him?

16:43

No. I don't anymore. I don't

16:45

feel that I want to. Maybe when I meet

16:47

him. Maybe he'll wanna kill me. I have

16:49

no idea what to expect.

16:51

Did he for sure kill your mom? Is that

16:53

why? No

16:55

one's ever told me that it was him, but I know

16:57

it was him. I don't

16:59

know how I know. Well,

17:01

and this is Borrell. If if

17:03

you share your mother's memories --

17:05

Mhmm. -- as being created

17:09

from

17:09

her, I mean,

17:10

maybe you have a

17:13

memory of him

17:16

killing her? After I was

17:18

born? Maybe. Do you

17:20

think that maybe my memories

17:22

are linked to hers even after we

17:24

were separated? I

17:26

mean, we're all we're all treading new

17:28

water here. I don't see why it's

17:31

impossible. Have you

17:31

ever tried to commune with the

17:34

spirit of your mother? No.

17:37

Would you ever try

17:39

it? Yeah.

17:39

I mean, I've never thought of commuting

17:42

with her as a place.

17:45

I'll try I'll

17:47

try and talk to her sometime.

17:50

Okay. So then the other part of the

17:52

plan is we're, I mean,

17:54

two months. That's not

17:56

nothing. We don't know how far it is from

17:58

here to Batteracks tower,

18:00

but we also do know that

18:02

Shaya said that as soon as we got to

18:04

the Frozen North, Dothania would be

18:06

on us pretty much right away.

18:09

Mhmm. So the plan is go to the

18:11

north and just rely on

18:13

him coming to you. Yeah.

18:15

We

18:15

can also, like, bait them too.

18:17

Mhmm. How? I

18:18

don't know, by being

18:21

generally obstructed divid and and

18:23

laugh. I mean, if we're also gonna

18:25

go for deposing him,

18:27

we could start a political movement as

18:29

soon as we land onshore. Mhmm.

18:31

Mhmm. Interesting interesting

18:34

theory. Billie, you're the trap expert. How would you

18:36

bed him out? Oh, I mean,

18:37

I would just talk amongst the guards

18:39

and see if

18:41

they have any hot gossip to share.

18:44

And maybe, like, I

18:46

don't know. See if they know

18:48

where he is. Oh, yeah. That

18:49

would be a good way to do it. Or if they

18:50

have any, like are there

18:53

a little what are they called? Like,

18:55

little hula

18:56

gifts Are there any, like,

18:58

reg muffins?

18:59

Yeah. I mean, probably, you

19:01

know, there are probably weird little kids

19:04

everywhere. Perfect. That's

19:06

all I need. Okay.

19:08

Then I guess just business as

19:10

usual till we get to us, don't I? Stone

19:12

ax. Stone ax. Where? No. No. No. No. It's okay. Oh my

19:14

God. He's but he's he's gonna he picked

19:16

up one of the empty beer bottles and threw

19:19

it. smashes it on the side of the railing.

19:21

Come gimme a bit.

19:24

So Yeah. He's around

19:26

here somewhere. Presumably will be a

19:28

problem some point, but No. Stoner is a

19:31

huge pussy. I'm sorry,

19:33

Igor. He's

19:35

not

19:35

gonna do anything yet.

19:37

I'd

19:37

like to see him try. Yeah. I think he

19:40

is afraid of the council. I think

19:42

he is like, there's a lot of bluster there. I

19:44

think he might wait until you, like, violate

19:46

the -- Mhmm. -- the cash. You

19:48

know what? I have a feeling you might come in

19:50

handy.

19:50

What about

19:52

the glacier? What are we gonna do when we hit

19:55

AdernEXT Tower? I ask Perrell. Yeah.

19:59

Try looking for her. Well, I

20:01

mean, I never saw AdernEXT

20:03

Tower, but Tower

20:06

is sort of like a

20:08

more an industry term

20:11

than a descriptor of the structure

20:13

itself. Uh-huh. So I don't

20:15

know exactly what we're gonna be looking

20:17

for, but it

20:19

might be I think I always heard

20:21

that Atternax was, like,

20:23

inside the glacier itself

20:26

as opposed to, like, something built on

20:28

top of the glacier. like

20:30

the tower, quote unquote, might be the glacier. Oh. It

20:35

goes below the sea of the water. Like, yeah, ice

20:37

break, how there's more. Maggie,

20:40

you like, the mender set up a

20:42

vault there. Right? Oh, yeah.

20:45

That is yeah. It's a hot spot

20:47

and that's why we know about it because there's a

20:49

vault there. So the wall was built in a

20:51

disused tower, apparently, previously

20:53

owned by Atarac Out All

20:55

Water or built by

20:57

or whatever. So I know that it is

20:59

inside the glacier. I know that there

21:01

is at least one object

21:03

kept there, a ward stone box potentially

21:05

with a wizard inside.

21:07

The only thing is that I have not been in

21:10

contact with the cell in

21:12

the Frozen North in that area for

21:14

quite some time. How long? Eight

21:18

years? Oh, so I don't know the

21:20

state of the tower. I don't know what to expect

21:22

when we get there. I don't know if anything that

21:24

I knew about a previous sleep is even

21:26

still true. Do you know what happened? Well,

21:28

I haven't heard from them in nine years.

21:30

Well, I mean, not for any particular reason. It's

21:33

just the nature of the menders is

21:35

We don't stay in contact terribly

21:37

often unless we need to. Right. It's like

21:39

a desperate network or

21:42

whatever. Yeah. I only know of the cells and I

21:44

really only know their leaders, the one

21:46

in the north, and the one in the Black

21:48

Tree Principleity, where the

21:50

other box potentially exists.

21:53

Who is the leader of the north? So that's a

21:55

great question, which I, of course, know the

21:57

answer to. I haven't told you that I know

21:59

the leader of this cell. and

22:01

that leader's name is Madewong. He's a

22:04

good guy. Yeah. Trustworthy

22:06

enough in the past is trustworthy as a vendor

22:08

can be really. Do

22:10

you have a second name? Just Madeline.

22:12

I actually don't know. But I'll

22:14

try and

22:15

make contact when we arrive. And

22:17

potentially Madeline has other assets

22:20

But, yeah, that's really all we know.

22:22

Kind of generally where it is and that's

22:24

it. How does the Vault operate? Is

22:26

it like the one that we found in

22:29

in the riverways where it's like there's just like

22:31

an autonomous golem there that

22:33

kinda manages them or are they

22:35

all different? They're all kinda different.

22:38

The general conceipt of a

22:40

vault is there is

22:42

a WiFi hotspot there. Not every

22:44

wizard tower would be a

22:46

vault. but because there was a hotspot in this vault,

22:49

the thalmic field

22:51

that exists inside it is powerful enough

22:53

that it can maintain wards

22:55

and spells that are necessary

22:57

for the protection and containment of the

23:00

objects they're in, and the people

23:02

they're in those objects precisely.

23:04

Yes. did we ever

23:06

agree on what we were gonna do with these

23:08

boxes? Are we gonna break everyone out? Or are

23:10

we gonna Maggie, what was

23:12

your pin when we left? I can't remember.

23:14

She puts up her hands, says, I

23:16

have made my position on wizards

23:19

known in the past. I think ten five,

23:21

sir. Double five

23:23

five. I've

23:24

made my position on

23:25

wizards known in the past. I don't trust them. I don't lack

23:28

them. Perrell.

23:29

around I

23:30

also mean you. Thank

23:34

you very much. But

23:36

I don't like you because I do not like

23:39

you. I

23:39

don't not like you because of your

23:42

personality. I don't not like you because of who you

23:44

are. Wait. What? The

23:46

intrinsic nature of Perrell. You

23:48

don't like him. Do you do you like his

23:50

personality? Or He's fine. You like him. He's a

23:52

he's a fine he's a

23:54

fine enough person if you just let

23:56

them talk. You guys never let them talk. And then

23:58

we're like, oh, megawatts

24:00

to hear Parell talk. he

24:03

starts crossing the one index finger over

24:05

his other index finger. What does that mean? I

24:07

don't know this is when we're growing up this man. You like

24:10

somebody? I think it's like Tisk his

24:12

Yeah. This was the the witness in the

24:14

hole. No. No. He's not

24:17

no. Not my not my type. No. Thank

24:20

you. Not interested. Progress

24:22

up. Mhmm. Fine.

24:24

Makes sense. Totally unrelated. What

24:26

is your type? how

24:29

do I see Paul? one finger and it goes over

24:32

behind his pointed ear. That was maybe the

24:34

fastest I've ever seen anyone shift

24:36

into I

24:38

guess, lecture. You know what?

24:41

Let's move on. Let's move on. How about

24:43

Moving on. But, yeah, that's

24:45

what I know about the vault.

24:48

I I mean, you've been to

24:50

the Riverways vault.

24:52

They're kinda dangerous. in

24:55

general? Or is because Chamberlain -- Yeah.

24:58

He broke Billy's arm. Yeah.

25:00

No. He is a powerhouse when he is

25:02

required to be. so we

25:04

don't know what what could exist inside this

25:06

fault. Can we

25:06

spout Laura on

25:09

history is? Yeah.

25:10

You could probably Laura. You could spout Laura

25:12

to potentially recall some details, but like this is something that a

25:14

lot of people might not know about. Hey, Perrel.

25:17

Yep. Do you remember anything

25:19

that anyone

25:19

might have told you about

25:21

Adernack, all water. Or the

25:23

ball. Or the ball? Or, like, the

25:25

ice. What was she into you head when your frog

25:27

thing? And and very specific very

25:30

specifically nobody knows? She was

25:32

very secretive about her work. Caroline, you

25:34

were spy. You were spying on

25:36

Maggie. I'm forever. My name's

25:38

Corinne. Corinne, sorry. That's fine. You just look

25:40

exactly like Caroline. I

25:42

was Caroline for a long time. You're

25:45

looking exactly like this girl. I

25:47

used to take Caroline. Yeah.

25:49

2D6 plus intelligent. Wow. Not

25:52

not great.

25:54

Okay. Six I

25:56

can aid you. And will like to aid me. Yeah. because I can give you

25:58

a plus two if it's historical. Oh,

26:01

yeah. 2D6 plus

26:03

bond. Nine seven. Okay. Perfect. So

26:05

that one seven. Interesting,

26:07

but not useful. So

26:10

Parell kinda says, yeah, since

26:12

nobody really I mean, most towers

26:14

kind of reflect the specialties of the

26:16

Wizards that built them or lived in

26:18

them. And since no one really knew

26:20

what ADNAC's school

26:23

was we don't really know what to

26:25

expect. So I would

26:27

say, and I know this is not

26:29

really the way that

26:31

you operate. I extreme caution.

26:34

Extreme caution when we go to the

26:36

tower. Sounds boring.

26:39

So you're saying we might have to jump

26:41

in with a plan? I would

26:44

say don't jump in. Make the

26:46

plan. Don't jump in. we

26:47

make a plan if we don't know anything. So we

26:50

gotta jump in.

26:51

What's your plan, bro?

26:53

Be very, very careful. Kinda

26:55

stand behind you guys. Yeah. And

26:57

hope that I survive long enough

26:59

to uncover whatever I need to uncover.

27:01

I guess that is not a bad plan. It's

27:04

like we go in their swing and

27:06

draw whatever it is is in there is

27:08

attention. Mhmm. And then Perrell has

27:10

time to, like, I don't

27:12

know, read or whatever shit he

27:14

wants to do. Mhmm. He can do that

27:15

weird, like, candle meditation

27:18

again. Yeah.

27:18

Yeah. You have the other way, which he beach

27:21

moves. Yeah. Yeah. I'd probably

27:23

do that. Who has the eye on Ken?

27:25

Oh, Chuck says, look at your ass. Shit.

27:27

Alright. Parrell does. Okay.

27:29

Why? I just wanted to know where it was.

27:32

Okay? Did you

27:32

use all of it?

27:33

No. Why? Crosses his

27:35

arms. You

27:36

don't want it? just wanted to know. Okay.

27:38

No. I still have some left. Why are you all

27:40

suspicious? I don't know. Why

27:41

are you asking me so many questions? You because

27:43

you

27:43

ask me questions all the time, like, to brush

27:46

my teeth. And, like, do I

27:48

want to learn to read this

27:50

book? I know you're

27:50

sure you brush your teeth because your breath smells really

27:52

bad. Yeah. And I

27:53

say it's not my fault. I eat

27:56

some food that I found after I brush

27:58

my teeth. And also why is your

27:59

toothbrush dry?

28:01

Because I don't have a

28:03

toothpaste. So what am I supposed to do?

28:06

And do you feel like putting on pants today?

28:08

And I say no.

28:09

Perrell, Do I ever

28:11

want plump pants? But I do because

28:13

that is what society expects of

28:15

me. Billy did finger

28:17

quotes around society. Alright.

28:20

I guess we'll undertake a perilous journey to figure out the next stage of

28:22

this journey. Nighting. Yeah. So navigate

28:24

and Scott ahead, who's doing what?

28:26

Kais, Scott ahead

28:27

this time. Yeah.

28:28

I'll navigate. Okay. Cool. So

28:30

Scott ahead is 2D6 plus wisdom. Navigate 2D6

28:32

plus intelligence. Billy's feeling

28:34

better now that he has the mimic

28:36

moth. Mhmm. and food. So many

28:39

macaronis. Oh, yeah. Thirteen.

28:41

Fuck yeah. Pretty good. Four.

28:44

Okay. Damn it.

28:46

So let's get ahead. You get two from the

28:48

list below. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead.

28:50

You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain. You

28:52

make a discovery or notice a danger.

28:55

like to make

28:57

a discovery. Okay. So you're sailing this

29:00

is, let's say, like, a day and

29:02

a half after your little sit

29:04

down on the deck. Sun

29:07

is you imagine if you've

29:09

started to kind of be able to

29:11

track the time of, like, how bright

29:13

it is instead of, like, the

29:15

position of the sun. Right. So it's

29:17

probably late afternoon.

29:19

You are sailing

29:21

along and you hear

29:24

someone a crew member from the crow's

29:26

nest

29:27

goes,

29:28

vessel, there's a vessel off

29:31

the starboard side, I think. A

29:33

vessel means a boat, things says.

29:35

It does. Yes. Starboard means right.

29:38

server does mean right. You're all learning.

29:40

I'm so proud of you. Often means not on

29:42

our boat. Yeah. And

29:44

you're kinda like peering through the

29:46

fog and you do see a midsized

29:49

ship like two sails just kind

29:51

of sailing along and it looks like there's bodies

29:53

milling about like a

29:55

Yep. They seem to be alive as far as you can tell.

29:57

Chuck picks up a bottle and throws it at that

29:59

empty bottle or I

30:01

was gonna put a drawing in there. You

30:05

Okay. You put a dragon in another way. There's so many.

30:07

Yeah. The only under has not slowed down,

30:09

and we have not stopped for supplies.

30:11

So this is pretty weird. And guess what? I'm sailing better than

30:13

I ever have in my life. He is

30:16

not at the wheel. I pick

30:17

my and I have a lot of drawings too. I

30:20

pick my best smiley face drawing, and

30:22

I put it in the bottle.

30:23

Two d go tuck.

30:25

Thanks. Okay. I wanna try and get this on their

30:27

deck. K2D6 plus

30:29

strike. a message of friendship

30:32

and camaraderie between

30:35

seafaring vessels. I

30:37

shall deliver it. in the standard

30:39

way that you do on the sea

30:41

in a battle deck to

30:43

deck fourteen.

30:46

Fucking hell? Yes. Atlanta's

30:48

in the captain's drink holder.

30:51

I'm a little too

30:53

cozy. It doesn't Is it at

30:55

the wheel? Yeah. Yeah. There's a

30:57

cuff holder attached to the Yeah. Lands on

30:59

top of the drink knock the other drink through the

31:01

bottom of the cup holder and completely replaces the

31:03

thing that they had there. And

31:06

you hear

31:07

a voice go Drop

31:09

drop drop it drop drop baker.

31:12

Drop baker. And

31:14

then after some time, A

31:16

ho a hoie there. A

31:19

hoie. Are you friendly? Wait.

31:21

Are you? Did did you read

31:24

my message? There's a there's a message in here.

31:27

It's the standard

31:27

way that people communicate on

31:30

ocean. What'd we assume? Okay.

31:32

Just a sec. It's

31:35

really in there. Let's try

31:37

to shake it out. Oh.

31:42

That's nice. Yeah.

31:44

Okay. You're you're still friendly. We'll we'll meet

31:46

you. We'll we'll meet you halfway. Do you wanna come

31:48

over here? We come over there? We can row

31:50

over there. Okay.

31:52

Oh, I want to do a plank, but that's fine. Okay. I want

31:53

a single plank too. Well, we can get close

31:55

enough in that plan. We can get close enough to

31:58

do a a plank that we walk

32:00

across. Okay. Yeah. Venk does a plank. They all walk

32:02

across them. Rock plank

32:05

board abs. Yeah. Yeah.

32:07

The ship's come up next to each

32:09

other. A blank is laid, and there's a guy

32:11

standing there,

32:12

sure short, kind

32:13

of pudgy,

32:14

bald glasses,

32:16

He's

32:17

got just a vest on and pants. Okay.

32:19

Like, no shirt, just a vest. Mhmm. Oh, and

32:21

then a fur trimmed cap around his shoulders because it's

32:23

cold out. Oh, yeah. and he's

32:25

got a necklace on that has an

32:28

anchor. Oh, cool. Yeah. So I'm, like,

32:30

halfway

32:30

across the plank, and I say, wait a

32:32

sec. And I would like

32:34

to trap

32:35

expert. Smart, very smart.

32:38

Duty six

32:38

plus dexterity? Yeah.

32:41

Sweet. Fourteen. Fourteen.

32:44

Okay. Is

32:44

there a trap here? And if so, what

32:47

activates

32:47

it? Billy, you've been on the sea quite

32:49

a lot now. Like,

32:50

you've spent a lot of time out here. I

32:52

have spent a lot of time on the scene.

32:55

And you know what? These

32:57

are pirates.

32:57

What does the trap

32:58

do you and activate it?

33:00

they are trying to get a

33:03

good look at you, especially with the gray

33:05

being as debilitating as it

33:07

is, they wouldn't wanna risk just

33:09

like attacking you straight up.

33:11

And what

33:11

else is hidden here? You

33:13

see there's

33:13

probably twelve to fifteen members of the

33:16

screw. And the ones that you see are

33:18

all wearing the anchor

33:20

necklace? One

33:21

second. I

33:22

just have to go to the bathroom. I

33:24

start backing up.

33:26

And then you'd hit our legs.

33:28

I'm like, Billy, what are you doing?

33:30

Back up. No. They're

33:32

friendly. No.

33:33

I don't think that they will

33:35

be friendly. Oh, Yeah. Hey. What's

33:37

what's going on? I thought you guys were gonna come over

33:39

here on. Yeah. We're just gonna we're gonna

33:41

go get some Tell them

33:43

to bring her into that paper and food. You

33:45

probably like toys. toilet paper. You

33:48

know what? We could use some toilet paper. And we will

33:50

bring some toilet paper back from the

33:52

privy is what they call it.

33:54

Alright. We'll be waiting. Okay. Okay.

33:56

Okay. All of the anchor. All of the ball of the anchor.

33:58

Wait. No. Wait. Wait. Wait.

33:59

What's going on, Billie? I think

34:02

they're pirates. Look at

34:04

the vest. Are we pirates? Not

34:06

really. Olyander. Are we pirates? I'm not

34:08

a pirate.

34:10

Well, come a smuggler. You wanna be a pirate? No. Well, on

34:12

the on the level

34:12

of, like, where do a pirate versus

34:15

smuggler sit? Like, are you more

34:17

are you more powerful? What? powerful.

34:20

I mean, I mean, we kinda do

34:22

the we kinda do different things.

34:24

Pirates are more like attacking takes

34:27

stuff from people. a smuggler. I've worked for

34:29

pirates with pirates before. Have you worked with these ones? Do

34:32

you know what the anchor means? They're a one in the same

34:34

chain. Yeah. That's the the

34:36

the sailor.

34:38

What? Oh.

34:38

Yeah. The patron

34:39

of sailors. Yeah. And he reaches in to

34:41

his shirt and he pulls out a little medallion.

34:43

Are you a pirate? No. I

34:46

just am

34:48

AII pay homage to the patron of sailors. We

34:50

know the patron of sailors did. Okay.

34:52

And he puts it back in his shirt.

34:55

he touches his heart. We all know the patron's

34:58

thing. We don't worry. Yeah. You know, we all

35:00

feel his the, like, the guidance of

35:02

them in the in the air, in the season,

35:04

in the in the in the

35:06

lines, in the flesh. And then telcos, it's

35:08

actually a he in this case.

35:10

Okay. Alright. Whatever. Blah blah blah

35:12

blah blah blah blah. So, yeah, they're

35:14

probably just picture. They just, you know, pay homage to the sailor.

35:16

No. I got a bad feeling

35:17

about this. Should be pulling that plank up.

35:19

Do you think

35:21

they're faking it? Well,

35:23

I think they're actually part of the

35:25

patronage of sailors. Mhmm. Do do pirates

35:27

pay on mission sailors? I

35:30

mean, some probably pay homage to the pirate. Could I discern reality and see if

35:32

I can see if there's a change of the same as only

35:35

Anders? Yay.

35:36

Yay. Go for

35:38

it. Great. I got 990

35:43

oh well as a little macular yes

35:46

Shit. Six.

35:47

So Billy looks through

35:48

the binoculars and

35:49

looks really close at the

35:51

chain with the anchor. And and

35:54

The center tying like the middle of the anchor with the two pieces

35:56

that come off the center looks like

35:58

it might actually be a

35:59

representation of

36:02

a blade and

36:03

then the two tie ins are

36:06

hooks. Shit.

36:06

Oh, they're not

36:10

friendly. But

36:10

Can I

36:11

Doesn't like yours, Olyander. Fucking

36:13

pirates. And Olyander stands up and

36:16

he walks over to

36:18

the wheel What do you do? pushes

36:20

down? He grabs the

36:22

sword. He's pretty strong. I don't know.

36:24

What do I do about the thing? Alright. We

36:26

gotta make him think we haven't realized

36:28

that the empire. yet. I don't think

36:30

we're gonna have much time to figure that

36:32

out. They want toilet paper bad,

36:34

and we are gonna give him a

36:36

little bit Do you know that the longer we spend talking here though, the

36:38

more they're definitely gearing up to attack

36:40

us? And then two rules of

36:42

three. You know, whatever

36:44

you got will take whatever extra kind of shit you got lying

36:46

around. Listen to that. We'd better

36:48

go. You know

36:50

what? Make it two. Actually,

36:52

to actually making everything.

36:55

Oh, no. I

36:58

pushed the plank over.

37:00

Okay. 2E6

37:02

plus strength.

37:03

Nine. Nine.

37:04

Okay. So you push the plank

37:06

into the water as I'llander Reese on

37:09

the wheel trying to, like, tip

37:11

the front of the boat away from their boat, but a couple of them are able to, like,

37:13

leap over the side onto the deck. Oh.

37:15

And tech picks up

37:18

a giant a crate of

37:20

empties that's on it's like a

37:22

recycling bed full of empties. It just whips it at

37:24

the guys that jumped across to see if he

37:26

can stop them from getting Yeah.

37:28

Two to six plus this might be because to targets.

37:30

Okay. I was gonna return those.

37:35

two fifteen bottles. One of the

37:38

recycles. Like eleven?

37:42

Yeah. So I I would say that

37:44

four were trying to jump over. And two of them were a little too close

37:46

together and you stop their

37:48

momentum right in the air, the

37:50

bottles crash into them and they fall into the

37:52

water with

37:54

a splash. Nice. Yeah. Two of them. I'm gonna go I'm in fight with Roll

37:56

plus Khan to get some hold. Yeah.

37:58

Totally. Ten. Okay. So

38:00

that's three hold for a fight with Honor. Yep.

38:02

And I

38:04

assume you're squaring off with the the other two that landed on board. I'm

38:06

gonna cross the distance between myself

38:08

and a foe by passing all obstacles.

38:10

Uh-huh. And then deal damage to them. Yeah.

38:12

That's I'm

38:14

gonna run and grab a rope. Like, superman's down,

38:16

swing four fist forward and does not come out

38:18

of the air like that -- Perfect. -- swing around. Roll

38:22

your damage. Three. Yep. So you knock

38:24

one of them right into the water,

38:26

continuing your momentum on the rope,

38:28

swinging gallantly through

38:30

the air, landing back

38:32

onto the deck, but the one remaining pirate

38:34

who jumped first lands on the deck.

38:36

He's got two hatchets.

38:38

He's got really big arms and

38:40

he's like, I'm still real piratey shit. Don't wanna grab

38:42

a, like, an

38:42

empty sack where there are more

38:46

cans? So It's

38:48

like a bottle of jimmy. It's

38:50

like a bottle of jimmy. So

38:52

I grab a

38:53

cloth bag that had a bunch

38:55

of cans in bottles?

38:56

Uh-huh. No. Ain't cans. He's found, like,

38:58

carbonated sand and beers somewhere. And

39:00

I leap on the guy and

39:02

try to put the bag for

39:05

his head. Perfect. Nice. Give me a Defy Danger dexterity to even, like,

39:07

get up on this guy first.

39:10

Eight. Okay. So

39:12

the eight like, he sees

39:14

you coming -- Mhmm. -- and he starts, like,

39:16

swinging his hatchets at you. So you

39:18

can continue onto him

39:20

to do the bag thing with another role. and

39:22

get hit, or you can stop right now and avoid his attack. No. I

39:24

wanna get him with

39:25

the bag. Okay.

39:26

Rolla D64

39:29

Before he nicks you with his blade on one

39:31

of the hatchets dealing for damage. But then you're

39:34

on top of him. And now roll, I

39:36

guess, dexterity again, to get this bag

39:38

on him.

39:39

Twelve. Yeah. It's got a drawstring

39:41

on it. I I tightened it up.

39:43

I'm, like, hanging

39:44

off of it. Look at why I cut.

39:46

Yeah. Now it's around like his knees. So he's like, whoa.

39:48

It's supposed to appear in here.

39:50

Really, you're bleeding. Oh, I'm

39:54

fine. It's just sauce from

39:56

me. You mean blood. He means

39:58

blood. Just to minimize

40:00

his injuries, my colleague's stuff sucks.

40:02

Don't worry. It's just really soft.

40:05

I'm just miracle whipping out of

40:07

my eyes, and you hear

40:09

as the last pirate that made

40:11

it over the

40:14

first time. is taken care of. You hear a real classic.

40:16

Yay. Yay. Yay. As a

40:18

bunch like swing over on lions -- Oh,

40:20

what? -- and try and land onto

40:22

the boat. Tek

40:24

looks around for something to use to

40:26

fight these guys off. And he realizes

40:30

very suddenly he carries a battle axe with him everywhere he goes.

40:32

Oh, right.

40:34

Oh my god. I gotta find more empty.

40:36

He grabs the slice of his

40:38

memory. In which contains the battle ax. She's back in

40:41

ax. And then tuck picks

40:43

up another container full of

40:45

Tupperware containers this time.

40:48

Yeah. No with no lids. No lids. Not a single lids. I know

40:50

all of this is garbage that they were planning to

40:52

throw it away. It's all these ones, they

40:54

got fucking sauce in them, and then the

40:56

sauce never comes out. Wholly under is

40:58

a bit of a hoarder. A little bit. You know, you

41:00

know, I mean, it's not hoarding if I'm preparing for

41:02

eventualities. The board's dads are always holding

41:04

on a garbage that I eat out of? It's garbage.

41:06

If I have, like, use for

41:08

it. We're telling you don't hoard

41:12

on board. There's such limited space on the sunrunner too.

41:14

Like, it's not a big But Drew talks about it a

41:16

lot. They're like, he's really hold on. There's like six

41:18

mannequins in the back. Like, he said he was

41:20

gonna make

41:22

like a coat rack out of them and he still has

41:24

it. So you grab

41:26

a crate full of old Tupperware.

41:29

and I grab the biggest temp wear and I pull it

41:31

up as a shield and then I grab the ax

41:33

off my back. Amazing. And then I go

41:36

I wanna fight, the biggest guy. Is there a big guy swinging? Yeah.

41:38

There's a big guy he's got a

41:40

big poll that looks like it's a club.

41:42

Is it phantom? No. It's just a

41:44

club. Okay.

41:46

It's just a big guy with a stick and he's

41:48

he's missing one eye and he's got a

41:50

patch on the other one. It took us

41:53

fade him. Is that you? Higher. Kobe

41:56

fat him. And and Tony's like, oh my

41:58

god. I'm so sorry. You look like a guy.

42:00

I know. and the club begins whistling

42:02

through the air towards your head. Chuck

42:04

blocks it and then smashes him in the

42:06

face with

42:08

the head of the ax. Yeah. That sounds like defend. So I'm gonna roll.

42:10

I'm gonna get you to roll defend. Oh,

42:12

finally. I'm making it happen. Yeah. You are.

42:15

this is great. So 2D6 plus constitution.

42:18

Okay. So that

42:22

sucks plus to finish

42:24

three. So nine. Okay. So on a

42:26

nine, you hold one. Redirect

42:28

an attack from the thing you defend to

42:30

yourself. Have the attacks, effect,

42:32

or damage. Open up the attacker to an ally giving that ally plus one

42:34

forward against the attacker or deal damage equal

42:36

to your level. I'll deal damage equal to my

42:38

level. Okay.

42:40

Yeah. Oh god. What's your level?

42:42

Eight. This guy's toasted. There's you know, people don't

42:44

have a lot of hit points in this. Yeah.

42:47

yeah, the poll begins whistling through the air towards your

42:50

head. Yeah. You block it with the ax and then

42:52

just whack them in the face. Yeah. Yeah. With the

42:54

head of the ax, like the broad side

42:56

of it, and he gets smoked right in the teeth. I he didn't have

42:58

many teeth to begin with, but the ones that were

43:00

there fall out. And it

43:02

sounds like Yeah.

43:04

They clatter all over the

43:06

deck. It talks like fuck. I'm sorry. Yay.

43:08

I was gonna kill you. Get

43:10

any evolutions into the water. and

43:14

the crew has begun

43:16

battle, the fights happening all over the

43:18

deck. Maggie comes fucking

43:20

charging up from below deck and

43:22

shoulder checks a guy into the

43:24

water. Just pull up it. She's like,

43:26

fartally. And

43:28

she's just beating the shit out of

43:31

the guy. But Ollie is trying to get

43:33

the ship away -- Mhmm. -- and you need to

43:35

hold off these people to give the boat

43:37

enough time to kinda get

43:39

under catch us with their helmsman? Are they

43:41

trying to chase us in the Oh, yeah. They're trying to chase you.

43:43

And like, every once in a while, a rope

43:46

will, like, fling over

43:48

the deck with like a grappler on it,

43:50

and it'll slam and try and grab

43:52

onto something. I wanna use my

43:54

superior technique in my fight with

43:56

honor -- Yeah. -- to deal damage

43:58

to a foe within sight. Yeah. As long as you

43:59

can see the helmsman, but you can, like you

44:02

can see someone at the wheel. Okay. I wanna

44:04

try that. Okay. So you just spend your hold and deal your damage.

44:06

Great. My damage is AD6

44:08

And I guess because I'm using Nature's

44:10

Fury, I get a d ten.

44:13

Oh, yeah. It's a d ten

44:16

instead. Ten? That's a ten. Holy

44:18

shit. So yeah. What how does Bing

44:20

do this? Describe it. guess he

44:22

pushes with the water. Mhmm. Mhmm. Fucks

44:24

with the rudder because that's what he's holding onto the

44:26

wheel. Yeah. The wheel controls the rudder. The rudder.

44:28

So then he just takes the rudder and,

44:30

like, the water around the rudder, moves in opposite

44:32

direction. They flings the guy off the

44:34

boat. I'm just like because

44:36

he's wheel spins. wheel spins and he's

44:38

holding on. He's not expecting it. Yeah.

44:40

He gets tossed right into the water. You hear

44:42

a splash and a scream. And the rudder is,

44:44

like, a ten is a lot of

44:46

damage. Yeah. you hear, like, a crash as

44:50

a thing, like, grips with the

44:52

water and just destroys the back of

44:54

the boat. and the guy with the glasses is

44:56

running around on the deck going, no.

44:58

Fucking shit. It's out of

45:00

a bitch. Fucking

45:02

boat. No.

45:04

and the rest of the pirates who are fighting on the deck are, like,

45:06

looking over and going, oh, boy.

45:08

Our ship is being destroyed

45:12

and worse stuck on this one. We're all just like

45:14

yeah. So the pirates that are on the

45:16

deck are fighting with a renewed vigor realizing

45:18

their lives are hanging in the balance.

45:21

I'm still hanging off that bag. Still? Are

45:23

you killing this guy? No. I'm just

45:25

keeping him for later. Whatever. I don't

45:27

know. Billy, you hear it. as

45:30

you start seeing, like, the blades of axes

45:32

poke through the material of this bag.

45:34

Whoa. What

45:34

are you doing? Get get

45:36

off me. I'm trying to get out of here.

45:38

Do

45:38

I have a move where I put them to sleep? Yeah. It's dust.

45:41

k. Very dust

45:43

on this guy.

45:45

Chan Hell yeah. I just

45:47

sneeze on him. And I think with

45:49

the ten, you get to choose three

45:51

from the list, which I believe

45:53

is they'll stay sleep for a long time.

45:55

You can do it to a group of people and you do it from a distance. Stay asleep for a long

45:58

time and a group of people.

45:59

Yes. Some

46:00

big sneeze. That's amazing. because

46:02

it like,

46:03

usually, just fake it, but this one's actually real.

46:05

Yeah.

46:05

It's wearing a lot of perfume, this pirate. He

46:07

is this is a very perfumed boy.

46:10

Yeah. He has covered indra Carna

46:12

r. Oh, yeah. It is, like,

46:14

being in line outside

46:16

of touch nightclub in

46:18

Hamilton in nineteen

46:20

ninety eight. And the

46:22

perfume gets up inside your nose. There you

46:24

go. And it's

46:28

a huge, like, pump

46:30

of fairy dust that extends over the

46:32

whole deck. Gazoomi, the pirates fall asleep.

46:34

The one in the bag slumps to the ground.

46:36

And even a few of Ollander's crew members the deck

46:38

and start snoring. Tuck in, vigor, just like, whoa,

46:40

whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. It's

46:44

up. evil. It's like, no. But

46:46

we don't wanna fall asleep halfway through a fight. No,

46:48

I guess. It's fine. It's normal. It's a part of

46:50

your body, but we just don't wanna get touched by

46:53

wasn't embarrassed

46:54

until now.

46:56

sorry Sorry.

46:58

Hey,

46:59

guys. Ollie

47:00

the land

47:01

Anders? What's up? Do we win? Yeah. We

47:03

won. Alright. Can we get the anchor up? Does that guy

47:06

hey, fuck her. Any bells across

47:08

the water? And the guy's just like,

47:12

now. Like bailing, you see him running up and down between the

47:14

ship just throwing a bucket of water. Things

47:17

throwing sleeping pirates back

47:19

on their ship. Oh, you're tossing them back out.

47:21

Yeah. And that, yeah, bodies are hitting the deck or the water

47:23

or the side of the boat. Let's get a move

47:25

on. And fucking you big man.

47:28

Get the

47:30

anchor up. What are you doing? Do you want me to pull the up?

47:32

No. I want you to stand around and ask

47:34

me about the anchor some more. Why'd you be

47:36

a dick to me? I'm

47:39

dressed out. You

47:42

sound like beer smells. 2D6

47:47

plus strike. Are you just gonna grab the anchor and haul it up? And,

47:49

yeah, obviously, I don't know how to

47:51

use any of his fucking shit

47:54

dude. Duck is talking to all the

47:56

other because he heard his feelings. He made him feel dumb.

47:58

And he's like, I obviously don't know how to use any

48:00

of this. Like, the fuck is this. Okay. Just pull it up. And if you at

48:02

what he's pointing at, he's pointing at a mask.

48:04

It's not even the part

48:07

of the shit. That's a that's a coil of rope

48:10

type. Billy's trying to push on

48:11

that anchor thing. It's

48:13

not working, obviously.

48:15

Yeah. Thank

48:17

you, Billy. He's got the he's, like, hanging from the capstone leg.

48:19

Go. His legs are just I

48:24

got twelve. Yeah. You grab the

48:26

chain and haul it straight up from the water.

48:28

Your fuse fucking rippling

48:30

in the gray light of dead. Yeah.

48:32

There's a rare beam of sunlight that

48:34

cuts across the scene. It glitters off of the pectorals and

48:36

the abs and the obliques and

48:38

the like, you can really see,

48:40

like, that lower and upper try

48:44

go on my back as I haul stuff up. And for a moment,

48:46

everyone becomes still as

48:48

they look at the poet tree

48:51

that is the human body in

48:54

full blue. You hear the bigger

48:56

than the baby oil.

48:58

You hear the pirate on the other ship go, you

49:00

know what? I can't go against that. He's

49:03

a specimen. Beautiful. Chuck,

49:05

you're beeping. And then Chuck's like,

49:07

thanks, and he hands only entered

49:09

the entire anchor. And when it's

49:12

killed, he just drops it full on onto the

49:14

ground. And he turns the wheel and you

49:16

start sailing away and he goes, and a little

49:18

ever catch captain and all I under

49:20

Dreyfus, and he grabs a bottle that

49:22

he was drinking from and throws it

49:24

with all his mite directly into

49:26

the ground of his feet and

49:28

shatters. Let's go boys

49:30

and you sail off into the gray,

49:32

having escaped the pirates. And then

49:34

Tucker's over to Billy and Vagan. He's like, good job too. You too, bud.

49:37

Do you feel like Olyon is drinking too much?

49:39

Do you think that maybe we should take away

49:41

his command of the ship? Should

49:44

we mute knee him until his sober's up a little

49:46

bit? Whoa. Whoa. And you hear

49:50

Ollieander. Did you

49:52

say mutiny? completely sober. We're just saying

49:54

I think you're a little too under the

49:56

influence to be making decisions for the entire

49:58

boat right now. Not anymore

49:59

on that. I hear

50:01

the word mutiny. My brain's firing on all

50:04

cylinders. Alright. Mutiny, mutiny, mutiny, let's get out

50:06

of here. I got my eye

50:08

on you. Then I'm union,

50:10

union union union union union union

50:12

union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union

50:14

union union union union

50:16

union union union union union union union

50:18

union union union union, your sleep, you better wake up

50:20

when you need me. Every time they say you need, they

50:22

get closer, closer again, until their

50:24

nose is okay. It's like one of those

50:26

cats are fine. Yeah. And all the others

50:28

quite a lot shorter than me. He's like five eights. He's a

50:30

hooking the chest. Yeah. You need

50:32

me. You need the shit out of you.

50:34

You need shit

50:37

out of your shit. You better mutiny with one eye open. You

50:39

better mutiny and wipe twice motherfucker. Don't

50:41

pull that line.

50:44

I will. Captain slutes him, goes and pulls the line. Alright.

50:47

He snaps it. He's fist in

50:49

a salute on his chest. laying

50:51

some sort of previous naval experience perhaps. Oh.

50:54

And goes back to the wheel,

50:56

and the day continues

50:58

without incident. Though you

51:00

see Ollieander reach into his shirt

51:02

and kind of like rub the

51:04

anchor medallion around his neck as he

51:06

sells. Is that like

51:07

a thing for luck? Like

51:09

a religious thing, I think. I mean, as much as

51:10

the patronages are

51:12

a

51:12

quote unquote religion. Yeah,

51:14

I guess so. It's

51:17

more just like it's just reminding me

51:19

that there

51:20

are a billion billion sailors that

51:22

came before me and we all,

51:24

are you did in our our mastery

51:26

and love to see, you know? And he's

51:28

he's he's he's actually warmed up quite a

51:31

lot to Billy because everybody does

51:34

eventually, but he really throws on this,

51:36

like, kinda cool, like,

51:38

dad thing around Billy. And you're

51:40

not really sure why, but

51:42

he's, like, You know, it's just a

51:44

little medallion reminds me, what I do, where I came from?

51:46

That's cool. Oh, I just

51:47

imagined

51:48

Billy likes sitting kinda

51:51

on, like, the little box and front of the wheel,

51:53

like, hang out. Yeah. Totally. Where'd you

51:56

like, what was the kinda your favorite food

51:58

from where you come from? from where I come

51:59

from my favorite food.

52:02

Oh, boy. You ever

52:04

had, so there's this thing that we have.

52:08

It's called Fuck. It's called like a grabka.

52:10

Uh-huh. It's like a disc of flat bread and then

52:12

you cut the bread open and you create like

52:14

a pocket. Yeah. And then you put

52:16

like meat and

52:18

vegetables, and sauce, and it creates like this little

52:20

pocket of bread. Nice. When

52:22

we get to port, I'll make you some stuff.

52:24

I'll get the stuff

52:26

for it. Do you have any weird dreams ever? Like Oh,

52:28

yeah. Oh, hell of weird

52:30

dreams. Why do you have weird dreams

52:32

too? Totally. And would

52:33

you ever wonder if dogs

52:36

have thoughts? We're kind of

52:37

bouncing around topics a lot, but yeah,

52:39

I guess so. Why wouldn't everybody has thoughts?

52:41

That's a good point. What about

52:44

cats? Yeah. Definitely. No. Actually,

52:46

no. Cats don't have dogs. I don't

52:47

know. Vink says they do.

52:48

Vink would say that

52:51

though. And also,

52:53

Why did you why does your

52:55

wife leave you?

52:56

Oh, boy.

52:58

That's a big question. Whenever I ask, you

53:00

always change the subject. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

53:02

I mean, I

53:03

guess if I had

53:06

to if I had to pick one, it's

53:08

kinda because I became so committed to

53:10

my job that I started

53:12

thinking of myself as like a

53:14

smuggler first and a husband

53:16

second at a time when we really needed that

53:18

support in each other. and she just

53:20

kind of grew further and further

53:22

apart. From me, because, I

53:24

mean, she had her own

53:26

things like she had her she had her

53:28

text op business, and that was really important to her

53:30

and I respect that. If I had to pick a second

53:32

answer is because she fuck my

53:36

brother.

53:38

ah yeah Yeah.

53:40

Anyway, any follow-up

53:43

questions there, little guy. Let me

53:45

think about it. Okay. Alright. I'm gonna

53:47

keep sailing while you think you got to us for a second. Yeah. We're below decks trying

53:49

to organize an intervention with the rest

53:52

of the crew members. Be like,

53:54

he's drinking do

53:56

much. Okay. Billy's up there distracting him so that we

53:58

could organize this thing with you guys. I haven't

54:00

seen him leave the helm in

54:03

three days. How are we gonna get him down here? He hasn't slept?

54:06

He has not stopped drinking.

54:08

He's purely

54:10

flushing only alcohol, I think. I don't

54:12

think I've seen him pee. Should I have that one time we beat him that

54:14

selkie? I mean, he has been

54:16

drinking quite a lot.

54:18

Yes, but he has been

54:20

operating at more or

54:22

less, let's say, sixty

54:24

percent capacity. And Chuck grabs

54:26

this guy's army. He goes, like, You're being an

54:28

enabler right now, dude. Oh my god. You're right.

54:30

I am.

54:32

III

54:33

just love my captain so much. I just

54:35

want him to have what's best

54:37

for him. Well, then you guys stand up

54:39

to a sweet seller above and

54:42

below. You

54:44

are correct. Thank you

54:45

so much for and he grabs

54:47

both sides of your face and pulls you in. Thank you

54:49

so much for revealing my biases to

54:52

me in such a kind and

54:54

supportive way. And Chuck kisses him on the lips. Alright.

54:56

Yeah. He he returns

54:58

that kiss fervently. And and then Chuck

55:00

goes, you know, go get only after.

55:04

Okay. I will. And if dual turns everywhere, it goes, do you guys wanna do

55:06

it in reverse? Yes.

55:09

Alright. Yeah. While you're in harm

55:11

reduction, is this a dangerous thing

55:14

for us to be making fun of. No. No. No. No. This has nothing to do

55:16

with that. Okay. So it's Who

55:18

is this guy that I just can't This

55:21

guy this guy's name is Darcy

55:25

Spice. Darcy Spice. I like that

55:27

a whole lot. Darcy Spice. Darcy

55:30

is He's the quartermaster, Darcy Spice,

55:33

Darcy. m a

55:36

captain. Anyway,

55:37

So what I was

55:39

saying was sometimes when you toast bread, you know,

55:41

it just gets too hard for your

55:43

gums. That's true. noticed

55:46

why I like to put toast in my mouth for a little

55:48

while and let it sit there. Me too. It's

55:50

like I call it bread

55:52

soup. Captain. kept in,

55:54

committed, you just said the

55:56

valedex form, ma'am, please.

55:58

I have to

55:59

go to

55:59

the bathroom. Oh,

56:02

alright.

56:02

I I mean, somebody's gotta

56:04

somebody's gotta watch the helm,

56:05

though. What I

56:07

mean is I will watch

56:09

the home. Oh,

56:10

okay. And I will go I'm just because I'm

56:12

just gonna whiz off the deck right here,

56:14

and then I will be at the home

56:16

-- Okay.

56:16

-- right away. I'll be I'll

56:18

be right back. Like Billy Porto. Sorry. And

56:22

Stop. Stop. Stop. As Ollie

56:24

comes down the the stairs, and

56:27

sees all of you standing there presumably? Yeah. There's a big

56:29

banner that says intervention. Whoa. Whoa.

56:32

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. slams

56:34

logs behind them. What the fuck

56:36

is this for us? us. I

56:38

don't need an intervention. Like,

56:40

dude, we're here because we

56:44

love you. k. This is lesson to intervention. This the

56:46

safest way that we thought that we could tell

56:48

you that there is no more

56:50

alcohol on

56:52

this boat. What

56:54

the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. We're not a hundred

56:56

percent sure what an intervention is, so we're

56:58

we're just here to tell you that

57:01

this boat is dry. and

57:03

there's no more. Alright. You you're

57:06

what? You drink it all, but that

57:08

can't be that can't be true. That

57:12

oh, Oh my god. When we were at Forefrost, we

57:14

left so quick. I didn't have time. Oh my god.

57:17

Yeah. Oh my god.

57:19

There was only eight barrels. Why

57:21

did only bring eight barrels? All

57:24

the bottles, the bottles are gone?

57:26

Yeah. What about those weird cans that I found?

57:28

They're all fizzy. Yeah. You

57:30

drink those. Oh my god.

57:32

They were so refreshing. And then

57:33

Tecos, Darcy wrote

57:35

you a letter. It's

57:38

true captain. I did write the alert there. And

57:40

the important thing to know is that

57:42

this come from place of love, does

57:45

save space. A cat,

57:48

I just and he pulls out a little

57:50

pair of pin's nose glasses.

57:52

He puts them on his nose. a

57:55

letter? Captain. Captain?

57:57

Oh, captain. My captain.

58:00

When you drink as so much

58:02

that I'm afraid we will

58:04

crash into the rocks.

58:06

Find that your drinking

58:08

becomes a fear of man.

58:11

but I do not want to fear

58:13

you, my captain. I want you to be

58:15

as good as air as you

58:17

are a friend. And

58:21

I am worried that, occasionally, when

58:23

you drink and say it is

58:25

pretty bad ass, that

58:28

doing it too much will lead to your downfall and

58:30

also the diem of the people

58:33

on this vessel. I

58:35

want you to know that I

58:37

love you. Next

58:38

page flips it over. And you

58:40

see that he actually has several pages.

58:44

jeez. Hey. Write

58:46

this so fast. And there's a.

58:48

He's had this first. Yeah.

58:51

and we do a a slow panning

58:54

montage -- Yeah. -- of him reading the

58:56

pages. There's just music

58:58

over it. and you see, like, it cuts

59:00

to Darcy and he's, like, crying and all the Anders crying. And then

59:02

it fades and then fades back. And

59:06

Darcie's reading and the captain's laughing a lot and everybody's laughing

59:08

and hugging. And then it

59:10

fades out and fades and

59:14

tuck in finger holding all the other back. We try to

59:16

beat everybody's tryna beat

59:18

Darcy up. And then

59:20

it fades back in. And in

59:24

conclusion, Captain,

59:25

we all love you and

59:26

we want you to be to be good

59:29

and healthy and not die until

59:31

it is narratively or fictionally

59:34

appropriate. At

59:38

the end, Question

59:40

mark. Question marks. Question marks.

59:42

And then it says at

59:44

the bottom, captain Oleander Drive is

59:47

wheel return dot dot. And

59:52

Ollie standing there for a second, his arms crossed,

59:54

tears in his eyes. I can't believe

59:57

I only brought eight burels. Well, you

59:59

did. So but if there's one

1:00:01

thing I know about

1:00:04

the driveuses, It's that we

1:00:06

get over stuff really fast. So

1:00:08

I think that I'll be I understand

1:00:11

what you're saying. And I think

1:00:13

that if I can go, like, by the time I get to

1:00:15

port, I might not even wanna drink anymore. You know

1:00:18

what I mean? That's the attitude. Yeah.

1:00:20

One

1:00:20

port at a time. I just

1:00:22

wanna wanna thank

1:00:24

you all for putting

1:00:26

kind of this kind of

1:00:29

I

1:00:29

don't know, priority on my wellness, I guess. I

1:00:31

haven't been putting my own priority on my

1:00:33

own wellness. You know,

1:00:34

ever since my divorce eight years ago.

1:00:36

eight years. And,

1:00:42

you know,

1:00:42

you know I

1:00:44

just really needed this reminder that I'm not just what

1:00:46

happened to me, I'm what

1:00:48

I'm gonna do, you know? I'm

1:00:51

the people that I love, and I'm I'm a

1:00:54

fucking sailor god damn it. Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:56

Yeah. You are. pulls out the the

1:00:58

necklace. This this necklace means something.

1:01:00

That's crazy tough. There's a

1:01:02

show whiskey name. Okay. That's the end.

1:01:04

That's the last that's the

1:01:06

last emergency

1:01:08

room

1:01:08

gone. And that's

1:01:11

it.

1:01:11

That's there's no more on the

1:01:13

boat that I

1:01:16

can remember. I gotta discern realities when he goes to

1:01:18

to fight the rest of it. Yeah.

1:01:20

And you know what?

1:01:23

I love you. I love you

1:01:25

and he walks up and he hugs Darcy and he

1:01:27

gives him a quick peck on the lips. I love you

1:01:29

and he goes to the next crew member and he gives him

1:01:31

hug and a quick peck on the lips. I

1:01:34

love you. and he goes to each person in the hold and gives him a

1:01:36

quick back on the list. And as he's doing it, you can

1:01:38

clearly see that he's patting

1:01:40

them down. Yeah.

1:01:43

He gets to tuck.

1:01:45

And I don't just

1:01:48

tuck a notice that he's getting patted down.

1:01:50

Yeah. Totally. And I love

1:01:52

you. Thanks, man. I have no pockets in

1:01:54

this come up. I don't know what you're talking about.

1:01:56

And he gives he gives big

1:01:58

Veng's looking at him like I have so

1:02:00

many vials of liquid on me right now. I really

1:02:03

love you Veng. And

1:02:06

I think

1:02:08

I think I'm gonna

1:02:09

be okay. Jess, Ben, you hear.

1:02:12

Yeah.

1:02:12

Whatever you

1:02:14

want is launched to

1:02:18

decide we just we look over Billy's down here with

1:02:20

him. I I also

1:02:22

want a hug. Yeah. He

1:02:24

reaches out and he hugs Billy, and

1:02:27

he goes I love you. Wait a

1:02:29

second.

1:02:31

Into the home.

1:02:35

So you the

1:02:37

boat runs the ground with this

1:02:40

thunderous cacophony of shattering

1:02:42

wood. You you

1:02:44

run upstairs. to the to the

1:02:46

top deck and you're greeted by like

1:02:48

your eyes, you all, like, shield your eyes.

1:02:50

Oh my

1:02:52

god. Brilliant. brilliant blue

1:02:54

second winging your ear for some reason.

1:02:56

As your vision resolves in

1:02:58

the light, you see the the beautiful brilliant globe

1:03:00

of the sun hanging in the

1:03:02

sky. Holy shit. We were down there for

1:03:05

a long time. It's like you guys were reading

1:03:07

a book or something. And

1:03:10

you have arrived. upon the

1:03:12

shores of the Frozen North.

1:03:14

Oh. That's where we're

1:03:16

gonna end it for this

1:03:18

week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me is always playing to come down

1:03:20

to Barbarian New Jersey. so long everybody. I'm

1:03:22

playing ding the half elf druid Paul Oppers. Take care

1:03:24

of guys. I'm playing Fat Billy, the Halfling thief,

1:03:28

Jessica Tye. Bye everyone. Thank you to Erin Reed for our intro and outro music.

1:03:30

You can find all of the music

1:03:32

composed and performed by

1:03:34

Erin for the

1:03:36

show at the Spell Lord

1:03:38

SoundCloud account, which you can look up.

1:03:40

And you can check out Aaron's album

1:03:42

healthy, healthy by ACR, which you

1:03:44

can find at erin Reid, AAR0NREAD

1:03:46

dot bancamp dot com. Thank you to

1:03:49

all of our supporters around the world for supporting

1:03:51

the show. If you want to

1:03:54

support show and get access to tons

1:03:56

of audio content, merchandise postcards,

1:03:58

a

1:03:59

whole bunch

1:03:59

of shit. Check us out at

1:04:02

patreon dot com slash spelt lower or speller

1:04:04

dot com slash money, please, and we'll

1:04:06

see you next time. And so

1:04:08

when's

1:04:09

the tail adventures three, who tried

1:04:11

the medicine. The dumbest

1:04:14

kid in the last

1:04:17

name in for times of rest

1:04:19

in relery.

1:04:21

he

1:04:23

And

1:04:24

no hard journey may

1:04:40

Turn next week to hear some

1:04:42

more well you

1:04:44

commute or do

1:04:46

your chores.