Episode Transcript
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0:01
Hi, it's Mount Laureans, Abdulah here, just
0:03
letting you know that we dropped
0:05
a brand new episode of our
0:08
Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Spelt More Mall
0:10
Brats over on our Patreon feed,
0:12
and also dropping a little
0:14
teaser here in the main feed for
0:16
you guys. So if you're
0:18
interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode.
0:21
Links are in the show notes. So
0:33
I think what we're looking at is a clock
0:36
situation. Oh, yeah. Cool. Borbo's
0:38
dad is convinced, you know what I mean? Convinced
0:41
that Borbo's a good guy. But convinced Borbo's
0:43
a good guy within the realm of this
0:45
fabrication that you have
0:48
concocted. The overarching convincing
0:51
is that his father needs to give him
0:53
a longer leash on his life, right?
0:56
Yeah. Yeah, it basically get off his back.
0:58
His dad's too controlling. So this is
1:00
Sway, and you guys are like lying about this,
1:02
right? You're basically creating an even sadder sob story.
1:05
We're like embellishing. And he
1:07
leans back on the circular couch that
1:09
rings the thing and kicks a
1:11
leg over his knee. So
1:14
kids, tell me, how
1:16
did you first come to meet my boy? A
1:19
sordid tale it was, our history.
1:23
We all start from the beginning. Yes, Clover,
1:25
you take the beginning part. Absolutely,
1:27
I will, because it comes
1:30
easy to me. So
1:33
yeah, Clover stands up like she's
1:35
giving a speech. She's
1:37
like, I don't know. We clink our
1:39
glasses. I
1:43
once grew up with a father and a
1:45
mother, as one often does start out
1:47
with. And my mother died
1:49
when I was very young. I missed her
1:52
very much. And so did my father. But
1:54
one day, my father said, my heart is healed
1:56
and I am ready for a new love. And
1:59
he married. My stepmother who at the
2:01
time I thought this is okay, but
2:03
she turned up to be quite evil As
2:12
I grew older I began to look like my
2:14
mother who was once considered the fairest in all
2:16
the land And
2:19
my stepmother grew jealous She
2:22
would visit the mirror a magic mirror And
2:27
she said every day magic
2:29
mirror on the wall Who is the
2:31
fairest one of all and
2:33
the mirror would always say you stepmother you
2:35
are the fairest one of all Until
2:38
one day when I turned 12 Like
2:47
last year yeah, yeah
2:50
last until a few weeks ago when
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I turned 12 The
2:56
magic mirror replied clover
2:59
is the fairest one of all and Stepmother
3:02
grew angry and she
3:04
threw me from the house and and
3:06
there I was alone in the cold
3:08
dark forest And
3:11
I ran I ran so long
3:13
and I was so scared and sad and
3:15
I felt the shadows of my past following
3:18
me Until I
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found solace amongst many
3:22
short beings Smaller
3:25
than me and I pointed
3:27
sentin mostly Franklin's taller And
3:32
they invited me to live in their home, and
3:34
it was a mess And
3:38
so I helped them, but I couldn't do it alone
3:42
It's too much And
3:44
then dear Borbo he thought well these
3:46
children need a hand these small these
3:48
small people need a hand Anyway,
3:53
that's my story. Yeah, I
3:56
can attest to the truth of that. Yeah, her stepmother
3:58
was very hot And
4:02
Vorvo nervously takes a sip from his drink.
4:07
What about you? My story is one
4:10
of revolution. It
4:14
was 1792. The
4:21
king had recently been assassinated and I
4:23
was on the streets of
4:26
the highspear. And I was lemiserable.
4:28
Yeah. I
4:31
was so miserable. It was crazy.
4:34
So sad. And there was an inspector
4:37
who had it in for me. Her
4:39
name was Tina Durgher. She
4:43
was desperate to capture
4:45
me for I had stolen
4:49
a series of French buns. They
4:53
were the softest buns in the land
4:55
and I had pinched
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those buns. She was so hot. She
5:00
was very cross with me. She was
5:02
so cross. And so I
5:04
ran. I ran so far away. I
5:08
ran and I ran all night and
5:10
day. But I could not get away.
5:13
And so it was the Tina
5:15
Durgher. The terrible and obsessive police
5:17
officer found me wrapped
5:20
up in these buns
5:23
and captured me and took me to the
5:25
took me to
5:28
be killed. And
5:36
there I was with my head
5:39
in a noose about to drop just
5:41
a little boy of eight. And
5:47
then from out of nowhere, an arrow
5:49
pierced the rope and Borbo
5:51
came out and he said, this kid's
5:54
eight. What the fuck are you doing? You're
6:00
not allowed to hang an
6:03
eight-year-old for stealing buns, no
6:05
matter how hot and soft they are
6:07
and how much they want to be
6:10
pitched. And
6:15
so I was saved by
6:17
Borbo, the most valiant social
6:19
worker in the land with
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his historic and legendary bow.
6:26
You guys start clapping. Okay.
6:29
Gotta say,
6:32
son, this is sounding pretty
6:34
impressive. Thank you. Oh,
6:37
you're talking to your... You're talking to
6:39
my son. Okay, sorry. Yeah. What about...
6:41
I am also a son, so it
6:44
is confusing when you say that. Yeah,
6:46
yeah, yeah. What
6:48
about you? Well, I
6:51
mean, the
6:54
story starts like any other with
6:56
a woman and her
6:58
roommate just
7:00
living out their lives, doing what they
7:03
do, going out for drinks, trying
7:06
to pick up people, living
7:10
their lives, working, living,
7:13
laughing, loving, laughing, drinking,
7:15
loving, smoking. Didn't
7:18
have any direction in her life, didn't think anything was going
7:20
to happen. And one day
7:22
a mysterious stranger shows up in her life
7:25
and just threw a huge stranger
7:28
wrench into her life, changing
7:30
her life upside down, turning
7:32
her life inside out in
7:34
virtually a day. That
7:37
stranger claimed to be from the future
7:39
and said he was here to stop an
7:42
evil man from coming and said
7:44
that that woman's life was in
7:46
danger. That woman was
7:48
my mother. That
7:50
man came back from the
7:52
future to stop that woman
7:54
from dying from an evil
7:56
robot that was sent back in time to kill
7:58
that woman before I was... even
8:01
bored. That
8:04
man was Borbo.
8:07
Borbo became my stepdad from the end of woman
8:09
was that woman. That woman. That Borbo fucked the
8:11
shit out of my mind. And he burnt to
8:14
me. The leader of
8:30
the resistance in the future until the world
8:32
is bombed on October 17, 2011. When all
8:37
goes down, man, the wick, the leaves, the
8:39
children will fly a bark like leaves. And
8:41
he's got his hand up on the window.
8:43
Yeah, Borbo's like, hey kids, maybe I think
8:46
that milk might have been doing something to
8:48
your tummy. Maybe go to the bathroom real
8:50
quick. And he's not wrong.
8:52
Yeah, we all gladly go to
8:54
the bathroom. It's milk milk in here. But because
8:56
of all this, you still got your role in
8:58
this way. Who's leading
9:00
the group action? I'll lead the group action.
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