In the end, there can be only one. On this grand finale of Statesmen, we finally crown the BEST STATE IN AMERICA! Is it your state? Is it my state? Did we pull some bullshit and declare the winner as "the American STATE of Mind?" You'll have to

Mortal Statebat Part 2 with Alli Stark

Apr 27th, 2021 1h 39m

FLAWLESS VICTORY or STATELY FATALITY? Find out in this penultimate episode of Statesmen! We're joined by our first ever guest, and a fan favorite, Alli Stark! Who better to pose as an expert decider in the head-to-head matchups between states?!

Mortal Statebat Part 1 with Mohawk Johnson

Apr 20th, 2021 1h 48m

It's finally here. The book of Revelations foretold of this eons ago and many of us wished it wasn't true. This episode is the beginning of a thrilling three-part finale for The Statesmen Podcast! Don't be sad that it's over; be happy that you

State at Home 2 with Aidan O'Connor

Apr 13th, 2021 2h 2m

Lots of bad news in the world these days, but there's one place where all the bad news on earth cannot reach us. That's at home, in front of a video call with other improvisers, showing each other stupid stuff to get giggles and snorts (the mos

Illinois 2 with Jacquis Neal

Apr 6th, 2021 1h 38m

This state is 99% corn and then a fabulous city where bears are cubs, the lake is an ocean, and Ferris Bueller danced in some sort of German pride parade? Wait a minute, he took a whole day off to enjoy Chicago and we have to do it in under two

Louisiana 2 with Jon Dale

Mar 31st, 2021 2h 10m

Like crawdads in a pot, we struggle over one and other to escape the broiling death below. Chitinous claws and furious tail swipes can only get you so far alone. We're all doomed as long as we continue to blame the other crustaceans in the boil

States on Screen - Viva Rock Vegas

Mar 23rd, 2021 1h 37m

YABBA DABBA DO y'all think this was a good idea? Probably not. Choosing this movie to represent Nevada was certainly some CAVEMAN thinking on our part. (We must have been STONED to think up of this one!) On the Sophmore outing of States on Scre

Oklahoma 2 with David Tarantino

Mar 16th, 2021 2h 7m

[To the tune of Rodgers and Hammerstein] OOOOOOOOOOOOklahoma where the pod comes streaming to your ears! Where an awful pun, can be lots of fun, and the cringey jokes can bring your eyes to tears! This week we're joined by the first vegetarian

Ohio 3 with TYGKO

Mar 9th, 2021 2h 16m

It's the state that created the most astronauts in the United States, but it also has a hype level so low that it's practically underground. This week we explore the highs and lows of the Knuck If You Buck-eye State! We're joined by super onlin

Iowa 2 with Andy Rowell

Mar 2nd, 2021 2h 2m

Here's a question for you folks, what does IOWA actually stand for? International orb whipping association? Is that what these people call Baseball? Sure those players do "whip" an "orb" around a "diamond," but is that what Iowa folk say about

States On Screen - Sweet Home Alabama

Feb 23rd, 2021 1h 30m

This week is the inaugural episode of a new and weird format for the Statesmen. Don't be scared by a podcast concept where white guys talk about old movies! INSANE! REVOLUTIONARY! BRAVE! Jokes aside, we had a lot of fun with this new format, an

Colorado 2 with Vinny Thomas

Feb 16th, 2021 2h 3m

When you're at altitude, feet planted on the summit of a mighty fourteener, it's easy to slip right back into the Rocky Mountain State of mind. So light up a legal blunt and enjoy the fresh air, baby, because we're back in the mutha flippin' SE

Texas 2 with Brad Pike

Feb 9th, 2021 2h 15m

Everything's bigger in Texas. Even the podcasts! That's why this episode is longer than usual. And I guess that's also why all of our other episodes are also too damn long. Texas has somehow retroactively embiggened the length of this podcast f

Indiana 3 with Shelby Jo Plummer

Feb 2nd, 2021 2h 4m

Over two thousand years ago a humble carpenter was savagely nailed to a cross and now, in 2021, we remember his sacrifice by rating our segments out of 30 pieces of silver! How many silver coins do we receive? As many as the cursed Judas? You'l

The State at Home Special with Zoe Agapinan

Jan 26th, 2021 1h 41m

Tier 1? Tier 2? Well how about we tier you a new bum-hole from laughing too hard at this hilarious special episode?! (is this too crass? Maybe, but it's also crass to force service workers to attend their jobs indoors during a pandemic. So eat

Massachusetts 3 with Kelsey Judge Buckley

Jan 19th, 2021 1h 59m

The state outline of Massachusetts sort of looks like a cartoon gun, which is good because you'll need all the firepower you can get to survive this THRILLING return to the state whose slogan declares, "By the sword we seek peace, but peace onl

South Dakota 2 with Sean Jordan

Jan 12th, 2021 1h 35m

There are a handful of states that are divided into North and South. The Carolinas, The Dakotas, and even Virginia has a western half. To be honest, sometimes it can even feel like the nation itself is a little divided as well. Maybe it's time

New York 2 with Ellory Smith

Jan 5th, 2021 1h 57m

I know what you're thinking, "Isn't New York City kind of played out? The greatest city in the world? Yeah right! It's just rats, thin pizza, and the setting for You Don't Mess with the Zohan. Is there really more for me to learn?" YOU FOOLISH

ReRelease: Scrooge Returns with Joe Cariola

Dec 29th, 2020 1h 33m

We've been too hungover from holiday partying out in public without masks on, so we're taking the week off! Enjoy reliving the horrific deep lore and confusing cannon of last year's Christmas special! --- Scrooge needs a stiff drink to enjoy t

Socially Distant Santa with Joe Cariola

Dec 22nd, 2020 1h 33m

Spend your Christmas morning on the couch listening to your favorite podcast, while contemplating the empty spot in the home that you thought you might fill with a tree this year, but which you ultimately put off too long to actually buy. The

Minnesota 2 with Tom Dyke

Dec 15th, 2020 2h 10m

The Mall of America has over 500 stores, and this episode has over 500 laughs! (although some of those stores/laughs have adjusted hours due to the pandemic.) This week we're joined by Minnesota native, and gaming savant, Tom Dyke! He'll be ou

Missouri 3 with Caleb Hearon

Dec 8th, 2020 1h 52m

This episode is better than sliced bread! But I know that's not saying much... I promise, it's like so much better than sliced bread... This week we're joined by historically gay internet celebrity (he told us to say that) Caleb Hearon! He'll w

Vermont 2 with Shelby Wolstein

Dec 1st, 2020 1h 59m

Winter is coming and you need a hefty coat to stave off that frigid ice witch when she inevitably knocks on your door. Better head to the place where coats are practically grown on trees... Burlington Vermont! (Burlington like the coat factory

New Jersey 3 with Chuck Sutton

Nov 24th, 2020 2h 9m

The Sopranos Finale cut to black and New Jersey culture let out perfect synchronized scream, "WOAH! WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE?" If only that finale could go on forever. Instead of one hour long, how about 2 hours long? How about longer than that?!