There is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding what we do, and who we are. Sometimes, these misconceptions give us a chuckle at our local dungeon, but sometimes, the broad-stroke generalizations may cause confusion, or even alienation.

Our communities have history. We have traditions. We have our own lexicon. Words have meaning, and sometimes, our words have special meaning within our culture. Not all kinksters are alike, and some of us may do things that others just don’t understand.

Everyone who hears words like “Bondage”, “Discipline”, “Sadomasochism”, and other terms we use to describe what we do and who we are, approaches them with their own ideas of what those words mean (preconceptions). If you think back to when you were new, you may have had an idea of BDSM that came from fantasy or popular cultural references.
You may have discovered that these ideas, or how others (even within the community) view your predilections isn’t an accurate representation of your experience. (misconceptions)
If you have spent any time reading the stories and journal entries, or looking at the pictures on FetLife, you may have picked up on some sweeping generalizations of how certain roles are supposed to behave (generalizations).
You have probably heard about the correct way, or the old way. You will see laments about “the scene these days“. While some of that may be true, does it automatically follow that their experience is the only way? (one-true-wayisms)
You have probably noticed that some words are interchangeable … but, are they really? (conflated language).
And, what about those vanillas? What do they think of us, of what we do? Are they really as prudish and judgemental as they are portrayed in the annals of FetLife? These questions are also generalizations, in themselves, because we can’t take a broad-stroke approach to any group of people without creating, or perpetuating, a stereotype.

Join me, AuntieSocial, and my occasional guests, as we try to unravel some of the myths in our lifestyle. Think of this as the Kinky Myth Busters … except I don’t get to blow shit up.