0:00

This is Steve Allen's a little bit extra,

0:03

leading Britain's conversation. You're listening

0:05

to our podcast of Steve Allen. Hello

0:10

there. I don't mean to be presumptuous,

0:12

but if you're listening to this, then you may also

0:14

be a fan of the Steve Allen,

0:16

the whole show podcast. If you are,

0:18

then this information is

0:20

for you. From mid December, Steve

0:22

Allen, the whole show podcast will be

0:24

available exclusively on global

0:27

player. It's still one hundred percent free.

0:29

It's still a hole shown. It's still utterly

0:31

brilliant. But you won't be able to find it on

0:33

any other platform other than

0:35

global player. If you haven't already

0:38

got global player, it's dead easy

0:40

to get hold of. Here's what you need to do. You

0:42

either download it from your App Store

0:45

or visit global player dot

0:47

com. Once you've got it, simply

0:49

go to the podcast section and search

0:51

for Steve Allen, the whole show.

0:54

If you're listening on Alexa, just

0:56

say, Alexa, open

0:58

global player and play Steve Allen,

1:00

the whole show podcast. Thank

1:03

you. Morning, everybody. Welcome along to

1:05

your free podcast for today, Friday,

1:07

Freightag, January the twenty

1:09

seventh, thirty one days in this month, but you've

1:11

been paid and I bet you're going mad because you've got all the bills

1:13

in and all the other bits that I'm paying with a nightmare. One

1:16

nightmare. Busy, busy, busy, and

1:18

busy in the world of television is Joanna Gosling.

1:21

Most people have no idea who she is. Seriously,

1:23

she's a news reader. She's been around for,

1:26

I mean, since nineteen ninety nine. And

1:30

she said goodbye. Basically, she's

1:32

leaving one company, presumably to go to

1:34

another company. So she decided to

1:36

do a farewell, you know, saying,

1:38

oh, thank you very much for this. She took voluntary redundancy.

1:41

So she's not walked away with nothing. She's walked

1:43

away with money. A lot of people don't even get that.

1:45

But she's a presenter and journalist

1:47

and she says, you know, she came

1:50

off air just for one PM and she thanked the viewers

1:52

and the colleagues and all the rest of it, but she'll be replaced.

1:54

It'll be somebody else, she's an auto QT.

1:57

She reads the auto Q,

1:59

and that's it. And she

2:01

didn't like the fact that BBC were merging its

2:03

international and domestic news channels. And

2:05

so she stopped by saying now it's about time for me to

2:07

say goodbye for the last time, but it won't be the last

2:10

time. You know, she'll pop up somewhere

2:12

else reading an auto queue. I don't know why it makes

2:14

such a big bloody deal about it. You

2:16

know, she's earned a serious amount of money.

2:19

And and then she goes, oh, this is for

2:21

the last time. Well, it won't

2:23

be because you'll be going unless you've saved up a foot a

2:25

small fortune, be going somewhere else. That,

2:27

you know, the BBC must be going, oh, my

2:29

Godfather's shutter up for goodness sake.

2:31

Because a few of them are gonna do it. They've

2:33

taken voluntary redundancy. Which,

2:35

you know, a lot of people do nowadays. She

2:37

didn't, you know, didn't fit into their

2:40

their plans. I was thought she was perfectly

2:42

pleasant. She seemed quite a nice person. She just

2:44

but she's an auto queue t. They

2:46

read the auto queue. Somebody puts her words

2:48

as she didn't put them on auto queue. They're put on by

2:50

somebody else. You know, if you work for the

2:52

BBC, I mean, there's about ten people doing

2:54

your job. Go go and watch your BBC

2:57

radio program going out. You'll be horrified.

2:59

Of what a terrible waste of humankind there

3:01

is on these programs. I used to have a friend

3:03

of mine used to work on one of their top rated

3:05

shows, so to speak, and he was one of the phone

3:07

operators. He wasn't even in the same building

3:10

as the presenter. You know,

3:12

they're so backwards at the BBC. You

3:14

know, it's it's very embarrassing, really, very

3:16

embarrassing. But you know, it's like when Ken Bruce

3:18

left, you know, they didn't

3:20

push him. He decided to leave

3:22

because he got a better offer. They made such a big

3:24

deal about it. I mean, it's easy for the papers. They

3:26

were able to put in over the BBC. You don't like

3:28

anybody over the age of twelve. You know, working

3:31

and all that kind of thing. And some people it

3:33

works like like Gary Linick or he'll sit down and

3:35

take his million pounds a year, whatever happens to be.

3:37

And, you know, that's it. He's

3:39

the highest pay presenter. We can't blame him.

3:42

That's what his agent negotiates with the BBC

3:44

if they wanna pay him that much. That's problems got

3:46

nothing to do with us except it's our money.

3:48

Thank you very much indeed. Meanwhile, over

3:50

on Love Island. Yes, we've

3:52

had the fake hair girls At

3:54

this time sorry.

3:57

Lana. Lana Jenkins. There's

4:00

a name to conjure with. He'll have to change that date

4:02

to sort of Lana SAFIRE or

4:04

something like that. Lana Jenkins doesn't sound

4:06

too good does it. Anyway, shoot. Sorry.

4:09

Spiting back tears, after

4:11

yet another girl took Ron away

4:13

from it. He motherfucking a

4:15

woman back. She says Ron

4:17

hadn't met his match despite him and Lara being

4:19

a fan favorite with Love Island viewers.

4:22

It's a reality show darlings. It's

4:24

a reality show, get over yourself. Nobody gives

4:26

us stuff about you. And as

4:29

Ron went to sit with his new partner, a

4:31

very unimpressed liner. I mean, she's mississory,

4:34

miss miss little tantrum. Oh,

4:36

daddy's little princess. What a boring

4:38

old bag you are there. But

4:40

and Ellie got him. But,

4:43

you know, unimpressed Lara,

4:45

whispered, Lara, not moaning much,

4:47

come off it. He's handsome. I don't

4:49

think he's mad his match yet. Listen darling.

4:51

He's found somebody better. He's

4:53

found somebody who doesn't moan who

4:55

doesn't be a, you know, is all a drip or anything

4:57

else. And just remember, it's a little reality

4:59

show. Nobody forced you to join it. You

5:01

must have seen it before. I mean, come

5:03

on, it's been the same like that for ages and

5:05

ages. Admittedly, I think it's fairly repetitive.

5:07

I think it's very dull, very

5:09

uninteresting. But, I mean, you know, to

5:12

be sort of, you know, fighting back

5:14

tears is somewhat pathetic dear. That's

5:16

what that's what ten year olds do. But

5:18

there you go. gonna have all this shit. bit difficult

5:20

to tell actually. They haven't put a rage

5:22

down. I'm assuming fifteen. I

5:24

don't know. I couldn't tell these things.

5:28

Brid and Tony only, accused of breaking

5:30

the rules on Britain's got talent. Well, that's what he was

5:32

putting for. He was putting they

5:34

know what he's like. He does the same actor

5:36

that I fantastic. He does the same act.

5:38

It's a feeble campy campy little

5:40

act. And so he's been accused of breaking

5:42

rules. But what they've got is publicity.

5:44

That's all it comes down to. You have to understand

5:46

all these things. They're done for a reason. They're

5:49

done for publicity. It doesn't matter whether you

5:51

like Bruno or you just think he's an asshole

5:53

queen. It makes no difference. He's

5:55

getting publicity for the show, and the publicity

5:57

is the thing that gets you ratings.

6:00

Gardeners. Very difficult to

6:02

have to explain to some really dim people out

6:04

there who say, I'm a real fan, you

6:07

know, but I I don't think Bruno was the right

6:09

person. Imagine you've seen how boring Allan

6:11

Carr is. Him and Amanda Holden have got

6:13

this show. I mean, they've said it's like watching paint

6:15

dry. You know, Alan Carr

6:17

is not a great presenter. He's just

6:19

another campy campy presenter. You

6:22

know, nothing you could do about it. How much

6:24

for the I'm a celebrity stint, Matt Hancock,

6:26

three hundred and twenty grand, but

6:29

he's decided to share his plans to

6:31

know more than his MPs salary to charity.

6:33

Do you know, I'd so like to see David Beckham donating

6:35

the money he got from that homophobic state to

6:37

charity. That would be lovely. Isn't it? Rob Stewart's

6:39

doing it? Perhaps David Beckham's a bit

6:41

a bit tight in the old

6:43

in the old wages, you know, department

6:45

where he's sort of having to give him money away. Don't

6:47

do anything, do there. I'd love to know what what their money

6:49

goes to. How many charities the Baccum's actually

6:51

support because of the amount of crap publicity

6:53

they get It is very, very embarrassing.

6:56

Very embarrassing. And Matt Hancock,

6:58

dull, boring, uninterest. You got to pay

7:00

three hundred and twenty thousand. So makes

7:03

no difference. That was what his agent managed to negotiate

7:05

for and good for him? Good for him.

7:07

And then he's doing another one, isn't he? Because he obviously

7:09

likes it. Well, the trouble is too will be enough for him. You'll

7:11

suddenly realize is about as boring

7:13

as wallpaper paste. Holly Willoughby

7:15

gets the giggles on this morning. Co

7:17

host, Philip Schofield reluctantly introduced

7:20

the segment on trimming your bush.

7:22

I mean, you know, Philip, for a gay

7:24

man, honestly. Come on, grow up a

7:26

little bit for goodness sake. You're a bit old

7:28

for this. Philip, who is sixty now. And

7:31

still doing trimming your bush gag,

7:33

so holy goat. And then he

7:35

laughs at all the rest of it. You think, I'm not

7:37

surprised, Pip, you're single. I mean,

7:39

camel mate. I think god's name is gonna

7:41

go out with a sort of a a patently, you

7:43

know, mid twenties person. And

7:45

so they were sort of they they made a big gag about

7:47

all of this. And he

7:50

went on. Philip introduced

7:52

a segment on trimming your bush. I mean,

7:54

you do realize it's, you know, What

7:56

I tell you what they should do really. They should

7:59

strip Philip Schofield off, hold him to the

8:01

ground, rip his pants off a

8:03

go, well, you don't. You know,

8:05

and do it that way. If you really wanna make a bit of

8:07

a fun joke about it, pip, come on

8:09

mate, but I should imagine white hair on the

8:11

head, and that's only on the veranda.

8:13

Could be a little bit embarrassing, couldn't it

8:15

really? Meanwhile, Stormzy joins

8:17

the British Awards set list as the organizers

8:19

confirm he will perform at

8:21

an annual event like it was yet we were waiting

8:24

for God to come down from the mount of Olives

8:26

or something. But he is

8:28

the newest performer to entertain the crowd at

8:30

the Brit awards. And my friend,

8:32

professor Jonathan Chapman, he loves

8:34

the British awards. He loves it. It

8:36

said he he loves it seriously. Where he gets

8:38

his energy from? I've got no idea. He's

8:40

a little bit like Dormease and they seem to have

8:42

boundless energy. But if

8:45

you work in the media and you

8:47

love what you do and you reap the rewards, Why

8:49

would you not have boundless energy? I don't

8:51

understand it, really. Kenny Brook,

8:54

amidst she was unhappy in her twenties,

8:56

and could breathe after turning forty.

8:58

I see her here all the time. She's

9:00

lovely. Absolutely lovely. Lovely and

9:02

charming. I can understand a lot of people

9:04

going. I'm not very happy. In my

9:06

twenties, I didn't sort of achieve anything, but when you get

9:08

to your forties, in your fifties, in your

9:10

sixties, believe you me. You reap the

9:12

benefits. You reap the benefits.

9:14

It's lovely. It really is. Freddie

9:16

Flintoff is putting his TV career

9:19

on hold. This is after the horror

9:21

top gear car crash. I advised him to

9:23

do that. I said to

9:25

him, really, this is too dangerous.

9:28

You know, we've seen other people who've done

9:30

top gear and he

9:32

was airlifted to hospital and then his

9:34

family said stay away from work as he

9:36

recovers. Absolutely. It's too dangerous. It

9:38

is too that's why you get stumped men and even

9:40

stumped men lose their lives. You

9:42

know, you have to be very, very careful. Stacey

9:45

Solomon, I saw her program on the toesia

9:47

that's where they go around to somebody's house.

9:50

And they take all their stuff out and then they put it

9:52

and they say, right, throw this away, throw that away.

9:54

This this this time that they weren't

9:56

married. And they they had I've never

9:58

seen this much. Stuff. Seriously

10:00

rubbish. Soft toys like it was hundreds

10:02

hundreds and hundreds of them, but it

10:04

was it was very boring because the trouble

10:06

Stacey Solomon gets a bit overexcited. Oh,

10:08

I can't believe it. Oh, really

10:11

is it? Oh, dear. It's it's

10:13

a bit as exciting as Joe Wash.

10:16

Wash. Who's forty? And

10:18

can only manage to get a children's television

10:21

program slightly scary, slightly

10:23

scary, but then Joe is a slightly

10:25

scary person. Ekinsoo

10:27

is gonna be a nun. They're

10:29

making a big deal about it. This is

10:31

only in a routine. So

10:33

she's going to be a nun in the Sound and

10:35

Music routine after the Ofcom complaint.

10:37

That's how desperately tragic her career

10:39

is. She's going to be doing probably,

10:41

you know, she's gonna transform into

10:43

system, Maria. Oh,

10:45

Marie, she got a hundred and twelve Ofcom

10:47

complaints, which, to be honest with you, is like a rank

10:49

amateur. This is she

10:52

says, Whenever you see in the performance,

10:54

whether I'm playing Britney Spears or Maria from a

10:56

singing music, I will be that person. No,

10:58

you won't hear. I'm so sorry to explain that. It

11:00

was like Sheryl the other day said, she's

11:02

still getting messages from Sarah Harding from

11:04

the other side, which of course is a

11:06

lie. She isn't getting any messages from Sarah

11:08

Harding. Oscar

11:11

and BAFTA nominated actress, Leslie Mandel,

11:13

is gonna play Cynthia, who was Amy

11:15

Winehouse's grandmother. They're

11:17

doing a film about Amy

11:19

Winehouse. To be honest with you, I think

11:21

she was on so many drugs. I

11:23

remember seeing her on stage. Great singer.

11:25

Great singer. But just drugs

11:27

completely destroyed her she hadn't done

11:29

drugs she'd be alive today. Pamela

11:32

Anderson says she had a frisky

11:34

evening on mezco with

11:36

Julian Assange. There's just basically

11:38

nobody she won't go with. Rumoh, she said she'd

11:40

been with Sylvester Stallone,

11:42

and he went, this is a lie. Because

11:44

Pamela Anderson, who's fifty

11:46

five, but pushing about ninety

11:48

has got no idea. And she's vlogging a

11:50

book. So she's got to come up with some of the book is

11:52

called Love Pamela. And she's

11:54

talking about her ties with the serge and so

11:56

she had a frisky evening with him. For that

11:58

read, you know, they had sex. A frisky evening deal

12:00

was jumping over things and that that

12:02

frisky. If you're talking about sex, why don't you just

12:04

come right down with it? You know you made a porno film.

12:06

Your acting career was practically

12:08

flatlined, I'm afraid. And she said

12:10

we consumed distilled

12:13

alcoholic beverage, mezcal.

12:15

And so they had a frisky exchange.

12:17

You're welcome to him. He's not in a bath

12:19

in ages apparently. You could smell

12:21

him from around the corner of Pamela Anderson

12:23

whose career is based on who she's had sex

12:25

with. You know, basically, it's it's

12:27

all finished here. Finished. Nobody's gonna buy your

12:29

book, but, I mean, at one time, we had chat shows

12:32

for people to appear on. There's no way for people to

12:34

appear now. No way for people to

12:36

appear at all. You know, people used to appear on

12:38

Alan Titchmarsh or they would be on

12:40

Paul O'Grady show, and then there was

12:42

Deso Conner with Lord now. You haven't got

12:44

anything. You've got this morning,

12:46

you know, we sort of pipp and watch it. I mean,

12:48

you don't want to be interviewed by the other two

12:50

because, I mean, they can't do anything without

12:52

their scripts. They said all their time. I

12:54

mean, you know, Dermato Dreary.

12:56

He can't do anything without his script. He

12:58

literally sits there holding it. And when they're doing

13:00

an intro and the camera does a pull away shot, he sitting there

13:02

it, not even interested in the person they're talking

13:04

to. Amateur. Moderna

13:06

has added more stops in London, New York,

13:08

and LA on her anniversary tour.

13:11

But as I say, you will get another glimpse of the

13:13

material girl hitmaker. I mean, to

13:15

be honest with you, she's sixty four of them. She makes

13:17

it on stage without creaking. You know, we

13:19

should be should be in with a

13:21

chance. And Britney

13:23

Spears has begged her followers to

13:25

respect her privacy after obsessive fans

13:27

called the police Overse Ellis

13:30

people. And

13:32

she said she felt that she was being gas

13:34

lit and bullied. And

13:36

anyway, it went a little bit too far. The police

13:38

were called in all the restaurant because in America,

13:40

they're all mad. They're mad as, you

13:42

know, mad as fools, I'm afraid. Autonomic

13:45

kit install, Natasha Hamilton, set

13:47

to join the real housewives of Cheshire,

13:49

what a revolting bunch of people they

13:51

are. Jack was saying to me, oh, they're doing the

13:53

real houses with Cheshire, said it's gone on for

13:56

years. It is full of the nafest

13:58

people you can ever imagine. Christine

14:00

Hamilton, not Christine Hamilton. Christine

14:02

who was married to no like he, no like

14:04

he, him.

14:06

And she appears on it. Talk about bloody

14:08

boring. I'm not surprised the relationship split

14:10

up. Guard in heaven. The the

14:13

these people argue all the time.

14:15

They're all doing one upmanship. I've got a bigger

14:17

house than you. I've got a business. I do this.

14:19

I drive this car. Look at my jewelry. I've got this,

14:21

my hair's done by this, and and then there was a couple

14:23

of old queens in it too. I don't know what they

14:25

were doing. What they ever did for a living. We have no

14:27

idea, but they had matching jackets. But

14:29

she's set to join them. Very embarrassing.

14:31

She married a guy called Charles Gay.

14:33

And they've started filming the new series.

14:36

It's it's the, you know,

14:38

the series basically looking

14:40

at the personal and professional arts of several

14:42

women And, really, they are

14:44

revolting the arguments they have. They make the

14:46

American one somehow look a little bit

14:48

tame, a little bit tame,

14:50

but as I say, I don't know what she's doing

14:52

it for. Perhaps she needs the money, but it doesn't pay

14:54

that much money. Perhaps she's got a business to

14:56

promote. And Britain's got talent Francine

14:59

Lewis, who'd never seen her check her out on YouTube. We

15:01

used her on Fives company years

15:03

ago. Years ago, she was

15:05

you know, so when she appeared on the television,

15:07

and Simon Cowell pretended he didn't know her. He

15:09

was lying through his teeth. He knew exactly

15:12

who Francine Lewis was. Exactly.

15:14

You know, she's been an impressionist for

15:16

years. And we used

15:18

to use her all the time on five's

15:21

company. There was her and a number of other

15:23

comedians. We'd have them on So when she

15:25

appeared on the television and Simon went, oh,

15:27

right, so and so he pretended he didn't know who

15:29

she was. What a liar? What

15:31

a liar? Anyway, she doesn't regret exposing her

15:33

husband's cheating live on air.

15:35

She hit the headlines after accusing her

15:37

partner Joel of texting another woman.

15:40

But as I say, what do you do with these

15:42

people? She said, I don't regret

15:44

exposing my husband's cheating lie on

15:46

air. But watcher, she's very good. She does a very good

15:48

Anthony Turner. She does very

15:50

good Jordan, you know,

15:52

and she does quite a number of very,

15:54

very good impressions. It's not a huge

15:56

act. But the impression's a a spot

15:58

on, and she's very good. So go to YouTube,

16:00

type in Francine Lewis, Britain's got

16:02

talent, and you'll find yourself agreeing with

16:04

me going, you're right. Lovely good.

16:06

Lovely good indeed. Listen,

16:08

have a fantastic weekend. I

16:10

mean, have a fun to I'm hoping the

16:12

weather is going to be a little bit better

16:14

than it has been of late. And

16:17

we shall we shall wait and I mean, I'd like

16:19

some sunshine for next week, but I'm not only

16:21

my breath. Seriously, I just don't think it's gonna be very

16:23

likely. I'm more interested in the tanks

16:25

arriving in the Ukraine, and the fact they've now got

16:27

to teach their tank drivers to drive

16:29

the ones coming in from America because they're quite complicated.

16:31

You don't just get in a steer it with

16:33

a steering wheel. It handles, handles

16:36

backwards and forwards inside. They're very

16:38

cramped. Very, very cramped, but

16:40

as I say, Putin losing the war, big

16:42

time. I bet, as I said

16:44

before, he thought he'd walk into Ukraine.

16:46

It'll hold the hands up and go, okay, we give up. Not a

16:48

bit of it. The president is still

16:50

there. You know, the the Russian

16:53

forces are dropping like dead flies.

16:56

But at the end of the day, Putin, whether he

16:58

lives another year, who knows? Who knows?

17:00

Who cares? But he's not

17:02

winning the war, I'm afraid. And if he wants to resort

17:04

to new clear war, but then things could change and it could move the

17:06

goalpost. But with America and Germany and

17:08

us and a few other

17:10

people involved, he's

17:12

really fighting and losing battle. He needs to hold

17:14

his hands up and do the decent thing, which

17:16

Hitler did, but you can't have everything, can you?

17:18

Anyway, have a lovely weekend. I look forward to

17:20

talking to you Monday. And

17:22

don't forget download download

17:25

download as much as possible. The more you

17:27

download, the happier your life will be, I promise

17:29

you. Until Monday, when we

17:31

meet again, and mull over what the weekend is brunch. I don't

17:33

know. So are we resigning? I

17:35

mean, could we be could we be lucky and get that?

17:37

I don't know. I'm a feeling he'll sort of cling on. They

17:39

all do for a little bit. Until

17:41

eventually it just gets completely untenable and the

17:43

prime minister goes, listen, sling your rock

17:45

pal. You brought shame on the family, I'm

17:47

afraid. So have

17:49

a good time. And remember, wrap

17:52

up warm. Leading

17:54

Britain's conversation, LBC.