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global player and play Steve Allen,

1:00

the whole show podcast. Thank

1:03

you. Morning, everybody. Welcome along

1:05

to your free podcast for today, Tuesday,

1:08

January the twenty fourth, and it's still

1:10

all going on in parliament. They reckon

1:13

that the man with the tax front

1:15

room could be gone by the end of the week because

1:17

we've seen this before. The moment the publicity

1:19

starts building, it's a case of we'll just

1:22

count the hours down. And then eventually,

1:24

he will he will disappear. You

1:26

know? And that's that's the way it goes because the

1:28

the prime minister go Listen, it started

1:30

off. It was okay. You paid the fine

1:32

or whatever it was because you were careless. James

1:35

O'Brien said yesterday, he said when you

1:37

filed your tax return at the end of this month, make

1:39

lots of grammatical errors, and

1:41

it just put down figures wherever you feel like putting

1:43

them down there. And then when the not really. But then

1:45

when the tax man contacts you go, I was just

1:47

careless. You know? And you think

1:50

if you've got that much money that

1:52

he has, you don't make mistakes.

1:55

You really don't. You employ accountants. And

1:58

if your accountants are making mistakes

2:00

like that, get the bloody hell

2:02

shot of them because they must be total

2:04

incompetence. Good. Gold

2:06

in heaven, honestly, it's ridiculous. So let's just wait

2:08

and find out. I bet you anything gone by the

2:10

end of the week. They'll say, oh, he's decided to step

2:12

down to save the government any more embarrassment.

2:15

So it goes on. So it goes

2:17

on. Elton John at

2:19

aged pensioner seventy five, he

2:21

can barely get on an office jet. He

2:23

has a private jet. I suspect

2:25

actually it's probably a rented one. Why would you keep

2:27

a jet on STAMMA? He doesn't, you know, he doesn't

2:29

fly around the world in this thing, but this one was allowed

2:31

to land in Sydney. Pass

2:34

the flight curfew. I don't know why.

2:37

You know, why? You know, is he is he just

2:39

a little bit you know, blas I I

2:41

mean, when you look at the clothes of wear, it's an

2:43

old man of his age, he's wearing,

2:45

you know, trainers, a track

2:47

suit mainly because of the weight he's actually carrying.

2:50

And so he was an hour and a half past the cutoff

2:52

time. His Bombardier global

2:54

express jet was included in the list

2:56

of exempt aircraft So

2:59

he's pictured at the final Sydney concert.

3:01

Apparently, an aviation source

3:03

said the person has been known to arrive after the curfew

3:05

with other flights. In other words,

3:07

he just he's a bit like Naomi Campbell.

3:10

The gigs at seven turn up about eleven

3:12

day. When you feel like it, there's some Elton's a bit

3:14

like that. But as I say, watching getting on and

3:16

off a jet, it looks painful. Very,

3:18

very painful. Because I was hoping to have some

3:20

sort of some really good news about about

3:23

prince Andrew like he'd gone to live on out

3:25

of Mongolia or something, but sadly not,

3:27

he's decided to waste his mother's money

3:29

now having had to borrow money

3:31

from his mother to start with. Now he's got money

3:33

from her will. They say it's about

3:35

ten million. And as

3:38

I say, if if somebody, one of the columnists

3:40

today, recommended that Sarah Ferguson, not

3:42

that you trust her as far as you could throw, could

3:44

actually take the money off her and go, you're not having

3:46

it. Because you're gonna lose it. But of course,

3:48

he's so arrogant. And

3:50

now you've got what are we here the

3:52

other day from the

3:54

the Maxwell woman, the one who's in in

3:56

Nick, she failed to mention

3:58

in her whole interview about the pedophile

4:01

who was a busy mate. She failed

4:03

to mention that, apart from she thought he was

4:05

killed in prison. How she

4:07

knows this? I have no idea because she's such

4:09

an intelligent person, isn't she? Not

4:11

really. Coronation Street,

4:13

spoiler. I love a spoiler alert.

4:15

I don't know what they are actually. I think it means you're telling

4:17

somebody the story. But to be honest with you, it's so

4:19

crappy at the moment. I don't know why we're bothering. Days,

4:22

initially, is tormented by a social

4:24

media stalker. And

4:26

this is one who claims they're engaged. Now,

4:28

this is not a new story line.

4:30

I've seen these story lines pumped

4:33

up every so often. You get them in

4:35

Eastenders. You get them all over the bay. Even

4:37

in Brooke, side. They had a woman

4:39

in Brookside and she claimed that she was

4:41

going out with one of the blokes in it. She wasn't.

4:43

She was a stalker. But what

4:45

she was doing, she was very clever as

4:47

Stalker's art. She went round to

4:50

this this person's friends, and again,

4:52

so exciting. I'm out choosing the ring and

4:54

he said, no. It was all fantasy. Total

4:56

total fantasy. And so when his friends were

4:58

coming round, They were saying, oh,

5:00

it's all going well with it. He said, we're not in a

5:02

relationship. He said, I've got nothing to do

5:04

with her. And they said, but she came around

5:06

and showed us the ring that you've bought. He said, I haven't

5:08

bought any ring. She's

5:10

screwy. She's completely screwy.

5:12

And in the end, she became

5:14

so deranged that she then

5:17

had decided in her mind that

5:19

they were gonna get married. So when of course he said

5:21

to her, he confronted her and said, why are you

5:23

lying to people? Why are you that

5:25

stupid? And she then tried to kill

5:27

him because it was a case of if

5:29

I can't have you, nobody can have you.

5:31

And it became really quite quite

5:33

dangerous. So when they do incarnations street.

5:35

You think you're about twenty years out of date.

5:38

Twenty years out of date, it's a bit of a shame really.

5:40

Noel Gallagher's wife, Sarah, decided

5:43

she's had enough after twenty two year. I'm who'd

5:45

wanna live with a bloke with a stupid haircut. I

5:47

mean, goodness sake, honestly. And

5:49

so she's hired Harry and Meghan's lawyer.

5:52

In other words, that's called throwing

5:54

money into a pit. The

5:56

pit opens up and it it takes all this money

5:58

in. So she wants the lawyer to

6:00

manage her public image. Which

6:02

is, you know, it's it's a shame

6:04

because once you get to the lawyer's stage, you better

6:06

find money because they they

6:08

drink it whichever way you look at

6:10

it. Kiley

6:13

Jenner gets Peter's seal of approval

6:15

that's people, the ethical treatment of animals,

6:17

for wearing a fake lion's head dress.

6:19

During Paris Fashionment. They all did it.

6:21

Even Naomi, Dreary, Campbell, and

6:24

Erlina Shake, and everybody

6:26

else. Oh, I was watching nothing the other

6:28

day. Here's that boxer up

6:30

north, Imran. Is it Imran Khan the one who

6:32

got robbed? Is it Imran

6:34

Khan? It got robbed when he was walking through a

6:36

shortage of this watch worth of it. Hundred

6:39

and fifty thousand pounds. He's an

6:41

Asian boxer. Isn't he?

6:43

Pakistan y. And he

6:45

drives flash cars and he's got a

6:47

very sort of glamorous wife.

6:51

And she turned out to be a pain in the

6:53

rear end, watching her on this television program.

6:55

They were building a wedding venue, which looked very glamorous

6:57

and all the rest of it. But she didn't want

6:59

to wear a hard hat. Amica. Amica.

7:02

She didn't want to wear the wife. A

7:04

hard hat on the building site. And they said, you've got to

7:06

wear it. Oh, no. Oh, because it's

7:08

dirty. And I'm thinking, what a precious little

7:10

nobody you turn out to be? And so, and then

7:12

they had to find her something else that was clean.

7:15

And then little diddums was happy.

7:17

What a pain in the ass she was. I

7:19

watched it. They're building this sort of think

7:21

it's like a wedding venue. Holds about four hundred

7:23

people in it. So because I don't think I mean, a

7:25

car lives in his country. I think he lives in Dubai.

7:28

I'm pretty certain. Because he

7:30

was talking about in Dubai, they don't do this and

7:32

they don't do that. I bet that's where he's living.

7:34

I have a sneaking feeling he he

7:36

might be because they've got the money and they've got all the

7:38

bits and pieces. But she's

7:41

a holiday place

7:43

in Dubai. I mean, she's a right little precious

7:45

madam. Seriously, not surprised

7:47

his parents didn't like her at all. Sheryl,

7:51

lots of, you know, Cheryl, you know,

7:53

Cheryl. Well, you know, Cheryl. Anyway,

7:55

she reveals that Sarah Harding's death change the

7:57

perspective and girls allowed love each other more.

8:00

Yeah. I believe that when I see it actually.

8:02

I've I've never too much in favor of these

8:04

people who go, yeah, because we all love each other because

8:06

but it's like, you know, that death brought us together.

8:09

Well, I don't believe it did, but that

8:11

doesn't make any difference. Because I

8:13

thought they all argued and most of the time,

8:15

unfortunately poor old cheryl stays inside

8:17

the house looking after the baby. I don't know if she's got

8:19

much else to do. Oh, I tell her, like, she was appearing

8:21

on stage. Wasn't she only three stars?

8:23

But so she's closer now to Nicola

8:26

Roberts, Nadine calling Kimberly Walsh.

8:28

And then I read Ed Ball's the other day.

8:30

He wants to go on this love island thing. Go

8:32

away you boring old man. Really,

8:34

go on to one of these programs where you can

8:36

lose weight, because you're carrying too much

8:39

weight. And it doesn't look healthy on a man

8:41

like you. But he'd go, oh, I'd like to go on

8:43

that dating program. He said, well, wait a minute, you've got a

8:45

wife. Why would anybody in the right mind put you

8:47

on a dating program? Unless,

8:49

you know. Love

8:51

Island fans, Brand Rome, the

8:53

biggest player ever. It's a reality

8:55

show. Of course, he's a player. Who

8:57

are these stupid people who are called love

8:59

island fans. I think they're terminally

9:01

dim. I think they're sort of people who

9:03

are writing, okay, I really like the

9:05

bikini that you were wearing.

9:07

You know, because it's a

9:10

game show. Okay? It's

9:12

not real. It's a

9:14

reality show. Realty.

9:17

Tea standing for tits. Okay.

9:19

I don't know why they get so excited about

9:21

it. So Ron is the biggest player

9:23

ever, claiming that Lana will get her

9:25

heartbroken. So

9:28

get over yourselves. God

9:30

in heaven, honestly, these people are so dead. They

9:32

can't have any life. They really can't

9:34

have it. I worry. For the sanity of

9:36

these people. It's not normal, is it?

9:38

Prince Andrew breaks cover. He

9:41

went for an early morning range or overdraft, probably

9:43

crashing through a few gates, which he's prone

9:45

to doing. This is head of the airing of

9:47

Gillaine Maxwell's interview. And

9:51

but he signed a thing in

9:53

America the lawyers have said

9:55

saying that he's given this money. There's no

9:57

admittance of guilt as we're well aware, but it's a

9:59

case of you can't just open up a

10:01

case again. Think he's gonna be throwing

10:03

good money away. But anyway, so

10:05

he was spotted driving in

10:07

the Range Rover. Gillain is

10:09

serving a twenty year sentence of procuring

10:11

girls for Jeffrey Epstein. So, you

10:13

know, leave her in there, lock her

10:15

up. And she said she'd

10:17

wish she'd never met the business model. Epstein,

10:19

but she never mentioned any of the pedophilia, underage

10:22

girls, she never in the whole interview. I thought that was the

10:24

whole basis of it. I mean, I

10:26

also think there was something very suspicious about

10:28

his death in prison which

10:30

was watched by cameras and

10:32

everything else and special security guards.

10:34

Although, how does that happen? Save them

10:36

a very expensive trial, I should imagine.

10:38

But, you know, there you go, but she was

10:40

convicted. And as

10:42

I say, no remorse. Doesn't appear to be

10:44

any remorse at all. Ryan Reynolds, who heard

10:46

of Ryan Reynolds. He's

10:48

he's surprised Rexam youth

10:50

football team with a sixteen hundred

10:52

pound donation towards their latest kit.

10:54

I mean, to be honest with

10:56

you, sixteen hundred quid is like

10:58

dropping that down the back of your settee

11:00

for Ryan Reynolds. It's

11:02

nothing at all. It's absolutely

11:04

nothing. I mean, it's very nice, but

11:06

it it doesn't it doesn't tell the thing I promised

11:08

you. Meghan thinks Prince Harry is a shoe

11:10

in for a Grammy for the audiobook

11:12

of spare. God, you love the

11:14

publicity. Don't you darling. Shame you

11:16

with such a crap actress for

11:18

suits. I mean, really, honestly,

11:20

a shoe in. I don't know what shoe in means.

11:22

Assuming that means sort of like a sort

11:25

of guaranteed sir. Why

11:27

dear? Why would you think that?

11:29

You realize he's desperately unhappy.

11:31

Don't you? Have you have you dealt with that.

11:33

Have you got him seeing somebody so they could

11:35

sort out his emotional problems? They

11:37

say he's a he's a natural

11:39

storyteller, really? I thought he was reading

11:41

was atrocious. And I

11:43

speak as a professional reader, but

11:45

she says he has a soothing voice. And

11:48

we're talking about the same bloke,

11:50

the drunk. The one who dressed up as a

11:52

Nazi, the one who stripped off in

11:54

Vegas, a soothing voice,

11:56

Harry. No. It's not the same. They must be

11:58

talking about somebody else's love. But he's not a

12:00

natural storyteller. In fact, his reading

12:02

ability is is practically zero,

12:05

I'm afraid. So

12:07

is Anna Reid says

12:09

I have nine cups of coffee every

12:12

morning, rely me. That's that's

12:14

that's too much to do. And changes

12:16

into her pajamas on Lorraine, which means

12:18

that what she does is she changes into

12:20

pajamas, the car arrives, she gets in the back of the car, she

12:22

lies down, and it takes a home.

12:24

That's how it works, I should imagine. And

12:27

she sports an eye mask, but

12:30

the importance of sleep I mean,

12:32

everybody knows about the importance of sleep. I mean,

12:34

it's funny people sort of say to me. So, you know,

12:36

when you go home, you climb straight into bed, I go I

12:38

don't get a bed at all, why won't I go to bed? I've already been

12:40

to I'm up. This is my my

12:42

daytime works very well.

12:44

Anton Deck, I think

12:46

they die their hair. Have you seen it? On the

12:48

television release, it looks It looks a bit died,

12:50

but they've signed a new deal with

12:53

ITV thought to be worth more than

12:55

thirty million quid. They need to

12:57

come up with another game show.

12:59

Need to come up with something because I

13:01

think the best one out of here is

13:03

Saturday Night Takeaway, but they're

13:05

running out of celebrities. They're having to use

13:07

people from you know, the lower

13:09

end of the market. Eamon Holmes

13:12

sixty three and looking at says

13:14

an s club member got him back

13:16

on Yes. Apparently, it turns out to be Jo O'Mira, and you

13:18

know how little we think of Jo O'Mira.

13:20

Perhaps Eamon can't choose people properly.

13:23

Go go back, Eamon, and

13:25

watch the Joe Mira thing on on

13:27

big brother with Shilpachete. Then

13:29

maybe you'll realize, perhaps you don't remember,

13:31

you know. And he said motion

13:33

is the lotion. So he's

13:35

he's basically he's walking with a

13:37

stick because he's he's got

13:39

three slipgits and they fell down the stairs

13:41

as well. I mean, to be honest with you, I mean, it

13:43

looks like he's on his last legs. It

13:45

says they're sixty three. It's nothing in

13:47

this day and age. But I mean, I've

13:49

seated him by five years and I'm managing to

13:51

get around. Thank you very much indeed, but he had

13:53

a double hit replacement. When he

13:56

was fifty five, and

13:58

he said years of struggling with his weight.

14:00

It's because he shoves it all in his

14:02

gob. That's what it is. All this

14:05

below me that these people come up with,

14:07

but then he went on to this juice

14:09

start, very unhealthy. You can't just

14:11

exist on juice and he lost about three

14:13

stone. And then the weight came up. Then

14:15

he started getting the back pain. Work

14:17

that one out, maybe not. But no, it's

14:19

because he eats too much. That's what it

14:21

is. I mean, at his age, he should

14:23

be slimmed down. Look at Andrew Castle

14:25

plays tennis, you know, fit. He even

14:27

runs down the road naked. Shouldn't

14:29

imagine Eamon owns to be running down the road

14:31

naked. Please, gold. Alex

14:34

Baldwin will still star in Rust

14:36

despite being charged with manslaughter

14:38

and dreary old Rebecca

14:40

Vardi. Mhmm. I be a star It's

14:42

filming in Jehovah's Witness documentary. She

14:45

moves on from Wagga to drama, yeah, because she was

14:47

guilty. She had to pay over a million

14:49

pounds. And so she's turning her hand to

14:51

presenting an investigative journalism. I

14:53

think you'll be fed up with her within about five

14:55

seconds. Nick Knowles, breaks

14:57

silence on the age gap romance, his

14:59

girlfriend, who is thirty

15:01

two, he says

15:03

people online claim that his

15:05

girlfriend Katy Dadzi is

15:07

a gold digger. And he

15:09

says she's actually more successful than he

15:12

is. But you know what Trolls are

15:14

like? Generate. They've got quite a few screws

15:16

loose. Quite a few screws loose. And

15:18

they write in under under different

15:20

sort of names and everything else, but

15:22

all the time, They they've got nothing

15:24

going on in their life. They don't have the friends

15:26

that they think they have. They they

15:28

generally live in very poor standard

15:30

housing. They they

15:32

sort of probably drink quite badly.

15:34

They also if you if you got a hold of

15:36

their computers, you discover the

15:38

main thing that they watch is pornography.

15:41

That's the trouble with Trolls nowadays. They're all

15:43

a bit sick. And

15:45

luckily, you can root them out very quickly.

15:47

And finally, he's decided to cancel

15:49

all TV work Chris

15:51

Packam. He says he feels burnt out. So

15:53

instead, he's going to

15:55

create abstract sculptures

15:57

of animals, including a blue whale, don't

15:59

know how he's gonna manage this. So

16:02

he he fronts all to watch winter watch and

16:04

spring watch. He's sixty one now.

16:06

And and he said he's just taking a bit

16:08

three months. He said he's gonna take a break, and

16:10

he's gonna do something else. I thought if you're taking a

16:12

break, you take a break completely. Because

16:15

he's he's basically, you know, just gonna he's

16:17

he's got a studio, he says, or

16:19

he's got some space. And he said he's gonna

16:21

have to put on lots of duvets and

16:24

blank and all the rest of it to keep himself

16:26

warm. Why don't you just buy a heat today? I

16:28

mean, save an awful lot of time and

16:30

trouble. It can't be that difficult. Can it?

16:32

Can it? I don't know. But anyway,

16:34

Makeda Stracken will presumably

16:36

carry the torch into the

16:38

Internet. It's only three months he's

16:40

canceling. I mean, it's not like like a

16:42

major thing is it's not like three years,

16:44

three months. So take

16:46

my word for it by the end of the week, Sunak

16:48

would have made a decision regarding

16:51

HMRC, and and we

16:53

will be proved right yet

16:55

again. Have a lovely day. Don't

16:57

forget Download, please.

16:59

Download the global player, global player

17:01

dot com, click on the podcast, and you've got

17:03

access to loads and loads of stuff. It is

17:06

all even though you've downloaded it and maybe you can't see

17:08

it. It is there. You just click onto it

17:10

and then it will it will open up bits and

17:12

pieces. Okay? So, I mean,

17:14

listen, how was I to realize that we'd be

17:16

downloading one million a

17:18

month, which is very good indeed. So thank you very

17:20

much indeed for your time. And

17:22

your money, and your assistance in

17:24

many cases. And I'll talk to you at the same

17:26

time tomorrow. Until then, please

17:29

Stay warm. Leading Britain's

17:32

conversation, LBC.