“Nana, I’m going to miss you.”Then today my daughter was to leave in the early evening and we had some time together to do some other things that were necessary for the channel and again the children were sidelined. Then it was time to leave. I think I got to hold them once the night they came and my youngest granddaughter said, “Nana, I’m going to miss you.” Oh I could have dropped to my knees on the spot, she was so sweet and so sincere and I had acted so selfishly the entire time they were here, and the Lord’s conviction fell on me. I couldn’t wait to get back to my prayers space and repent, it was too late to make it up to her.Martha-Mary-Lazarus, Jesus loves children,I Missed The LordAugust 2, 2017Lord Jesus, please help us to be sensitive to the little and tender things and not write them off as unimportant because of our worldly preoccupations. Sorry you haven’t heard from me, my daughter and grandchildren came to visit and it was a whirlwind from beginning to end. But in this visit I discovered how very numb to the important things, I can be. After communion the Lord was silent so I asked Him, Lord, please speak to me, what do you want me to share. Speak about what’s in your heart. (I hesitated) What is in your heart Clare?Contrition and a very big desire to not repeat this sin. Well then, speak on that.Dear heart dwellers, I hope me sharing this with you will make a difference and steer you in the right direction.The last two days, my daughter and grandchildren came to visit and I believe we had planned a little more for our schedule than what was possible. I was not terribly flexible…the children wanted to swim and rather than get in the water and play with them I made a foolish choice to be in the kitchen with one of our helpers. My daughter called out to me, “Mom what are you doing?” i can’t remember the answer but I did end up telling her I didn’t want to get in the pool.How foolish this was. Here was some time to play with the children and I selfishly withheld myself for what? I was reasoning that after the pool we would do something. Well, after that we had pizza and then it was time for them to go to bed. My daughter wanted me to come over to her place so we could plan some things for the channel. I didn’t feel good about that at all. I don’t like leaving the house, but I really didn’t see any other choice. Well, my husband Ezekiel spoke up, “Honey, I’m not getting a confirmation from the Lord that you should be going out.” I rather dismissed it thinking, it’s probably the enemy interfering. He asked me to check and I got God’s Love, which is always a green light. Although deep inside, I had a check in my spirit, I pushed through it. Mind you I hadn’t prayed in two days and didn’t have a message to put up and I felt extremely out of sorts. Well, the evening went as we had planned, uneventful but an action plan. But when I got home I felt REALLY BADLY. Why??? I couldn’t figure it out. Why did I feel so badly? I chalked it off to lack of prayer and went to bed early. But it was very awkward to say the least.Then today my daughter was to leave in the early evening and we had some time together to do some other things that were necessary for the channel and again the children were sidelined. Then it was time to leave. I think I got to hold them once the night they came and my youngest granddaughter said, “Nana, I’m going to miss you.” Oh I could have dropped to my knees on the spot, she was so sweet and so sincere and I had acted so selfishly the entire time they were here, and the Lord’s conviction fell on me. I couldn’t wait to get back to my prayers space and repent, it was too late to make it up to her.I cam in rather downcast but I was hoping for a card of encouragement from my Rhema file. What did I get? “It doesn’t matter what gifts you have, I can’t use any of them if you are not obedient.”Ouch!!!Then I thought, it can’t be that bad, maybe I picked the wrong card…so I pulled another one, “As soon as we begin to seek ourselves, at that very moment we cease loving.” Ouch again. And I saw those sweet eyes and heard it again, “Nana, I’m going to miss you.” Well I went into repentance mode and what do I get from the missal I use for communion services? ”My little ones I am writing this to keep you from sin. But if anyone should sin, we have, in the presence of the Father, Jesus Christ, an intercessor who is just. He is an offering for our sins…” I John 2 Well this whole thing may not seem like much to onlookers, but I hadn’t seen my grand children in a whole year and this was our time to share in our love for one another. And all I did is withhold my love for them, in favor of business…” To make this really stick, I got a precious package in the mail. After my daughter left, I opened it. It was a 2,000 year old relic of Martha, Lazarus and Mary, sealed at the Vatican. I have a healthy respect for the relics of the great cloud and especially the ones that were able to conquer their faults. The brother who sent these to me said, “I knew this was perfect for you because you are a Matha working on being a Mary, and the Lord is going to bring Ezekiel back from the brink of death.” So I wrote a long letter of apology to my daughter for my behavior and she said, “Mom, after reading your message, I agree. I get so caught up in business stuff “the Martha” that I forget about the “Mary” part!! And would you believe she is the one who found that package on her way into our yard and I didn’t open it until she left. So we got a BIG confirmation from the Lord that we had missed Him by spending time on ourselves, when the little ones needed our love.During communion the Lord came and forgave me, but it’s going to take some time for me to heal from being so selfish, it left a very bad feeling in my heart. I can’t even imagine the message it sent to the children. But the next time I get a chance to see them, I will not do that again, God willing.Lord, have you anything to add. You are already feeling very badly, I don’t want to add to that My Beloved. But I do want you all to know that these little souls are very tender. What you don’t give them…they can’t really miss, yet there is a lingering feeling of abandonment that they cannot put their little fingers on. The truth is you are setting them up to be the same kind of parents, preoccupied with the world.Did I not rebuke My disciples and tell them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." They are also there to soften your hearts, to make you ready for the kingdom, by observing their simplicity and uncomplicated ways.But no, adults look down upon the ways of children, and count their business affairs as most important. Oh how sad it is to see an adult pass up an opportunity to enter into a child’s world. Do you not know Heaven is in your midst with these little ones? Yes, the whole world chases after the almighty dollar and leaves behind opportunities to prepare their souls for Heaven and behold the innocent and pure. How I long to shout out to them, “Do you not see? You have turned your back to those I adore and the angels attend to.” But alas, acquisition and building a personal kingdom take the top priority. I am not condemning you My Brides, rather I am pointing the way to greater holiness, the holiness in your midst that reveals the ways of Heaven and should be a welcomed break and contrast from the ways of the world.“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3