Mike Ricker
Stoney Baloney | A Narrated Cannabis ColumnEpisodes
Episodes of Stoney Baloney
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It sure seems like everyone has a trigger or fifty these days. Not to say that people haven’t always been fragile, but now we have classified the proper terminology that pinpoints that moment where something clicks like a slipped disc in your m
Most well-rounded people will agree that just because you can effectively navigate your way around a video game, a streaming service, or pretty much anything that has to do with sitting on your ass in front of a screen, it does not necessarily
People tell me this sometimes. But am I narcissistic, or just eager to be recognized? A little of both, methinks. Aren’t we all guilty of wanting attention at some level? I mean, at what point are you self-absorbed, or just looking to feel rel
Altering your reality by meddling with the synapses in your brain is one of the most common ways to entertainment yourself. Whether you’re poppin’ pills or pounding tequila poppers, bending the senses can bring about the most wonderful, kaleido
Amazon screwed the pooch. If your name is Alexa, that is. Because thanks to them, there’s now a glitch in the process of assigning identity to a newborn child, forcing us to rethink how we move forward with the official book of baby names. Now
If it weren’t for the bubonic plague, rats could easily be man’s best friend. And the rat-infested movie Willard didn’t help their reputation, either. You snicker, but what we’re talking about is pretty much just an oversized mouse, right? I me
When you really put your mind to understanding the human psyche, you’ll see that it is easily manipulated. There’s no denying the obvious--that if you reinforce a concept to curious individuals with the right degree of conviction, you are sure
We all know the 10-second rule. When you drop a piece of food, if you pick it up within ten seconds you have beaten the decomposition clock, essentially rescuing the item from the armies of crazed little germs that lie in waiting for food fumbl
Sure, you can sit on your ass all day and pile up the layers of blubber while filling your brain with useless information from the boob tube, but that only goes so far until it’s time to get outside and do shit. And the moment you cross that th
Who’s the marry prankster that decided it’d be a brilliant idea to indoctrinate children with the concept that a man and a woman cohabitating until death is paramount to living a fulfilled life? I understand that for our species to proliferate
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being nice. Because niceness is something that is severely lacking in today’s self-gratification system. Back around the 1950’s, the postman knew every member of the household by name and the milkman was a
We all know that there are some items in life that have an uncanny way of eluding your possession. In theory it shouldn’t happen, but no matter how much attention is directed toward keeping these elusive apparatuses secure, they somehow have a
There she was, standing over a fresh dog poop, looking down upon a thin strip of sidewalk grass along a quiet suburban road holding her only bag, bulging and tied off. The Rhodesian Ridgeback at the end of the leash, quite unfortunately, just u
You work your ass off and deserve a vacation. You save, plan, and prepare while exerting double the energy for the chance to finally check out and head for that sandy paradise for a classic decompress. So, when the bags are loaded with your sce
There used to be a creepy movie called The Swamp Thing where a slothy creature covered in moss was scaring the shit out of everybody in the nearby town by snatching up baddies to take back to his waterbed. Not to be confused with Oscar the Grou
Who’s got a sturdy noose handy so I can hang myself and end the misery? As if the steady banging of neon flashing little boy shoes with the tiny roller wheels into the back of my seat isn’t enough, there’s the incessant whining that is unsucce
A lot of people need to dry out and they know it. So, getting sober is an annual challenge some of my friends will undertake for around thirty days, usually the same month every year. It’s not like they enjoy this exile, but in their mind, abst
Every one of us suffers from some form of dysfunction, which charges our need to act out in dramatic ways. It’s ok, there’s no need to build a defense. Because whatever it is that causes us to project our suffering, we all need to express emoti
It’s true, and I can admit it. I do it a lot. I mean, not out loud so much…well, ok, out loud. But at least I’m hyperconscious about publicly maintaining the flailing arms to conceal any evidence of my attempt to reign victorious in the current
Listen, I’m not trying to be an asshole here. I used to love Xmas just as much as any kid. Catching a glimpse of Santa nibbling on a cookie or hearing the patter of hooves on top of the apartment complex made sleeping unbearable. It’s just that
Everyone knows who Jimmy Buffet was, right? Well, he has little to do with anything other than the fact that he makes me hungry. Of course, this surname obviously has a silent “t”, but when I see the word buffet, my mind does not autocorrect. A
Where is this gate of which they speak? The one that you carelessly enter that leads you into a string of bad decisions, eventually overtaking your better sense of judgment where you surrender to any resistance against an ugly dependency on co
Everyone has known a fat guy that parties, right? Well, maybe not orthodox religious zealots, but that’s just because they don’t have a buddy who drinks, does blow, drops Molly, and then drenches his clothes with sweat from bouncing erratically
People are desperate to escape. And the self-administering of mind-altering substances is the quickest method for your surefire jailbreak from life’s doldrums. However, as these poisons are a guaranteed way to stimulate the synapses for easy a
She used to be more fun. You could ask her where to bury a dead body, and her reply was playfully non-resistant, on board for a senseless jab. But something happened because she appears to have lost her sense of humor. What, did she get indicte
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