Tonight's special guest is Tonya Doolin from Oxnard, California. She survived child abuse and many other traumas. She's a 50 year old recovering addict who has lived a life of trauma. "My mother was 19 when I was born, and I was child number 3, from husband number 3," she says. "My mother, being an addict herself with a 4th grade education, really didn't know what to do with us, or how to love us. Her taste in men was deplorable. But she always said she'd die in hell before she'd ever admit that she was a failure as a mom like her mom was, who was also an alcoholic." Trauma was part of Tonya's upbringing. "I was molested from the early age of 4, until around the age of 7. My abusers were family members, a preacher, and those that were supposed to love and care for me. The preacher started paying me to stay quiet about the abuse. Between that and my mother saying, that 'as a woman I should never be broke,' it made sense that I allowed myself to be led down a path of addiction, prostitution, being sex-trafficked, and homelessness." She goes on, "My deep conviction of being self employed led me to become a renegade sex worker, working the streets without a pimp. Lonely and seeking validation and self worth I found myself drowning in old habits. At the core my addiction and recovery experience has made me realize that by being through hell, and slowly working to make it back to the other side, my story can help provide a sense of relief and hope to others." Over time, she felt a little less alone. "I hope to get back into writing poetry about love and religion and to one day become a sponsor. I have dreams of writing my own book and I am back in school to help me do so. I want people to see that drugs and alcohol will only make things worse."