0:00

Hi, he's Dave Schumke.

0:10

And he's Graham Clark. And together

0:12

we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Hello

0:17

everybody and welcome to

0:19

episode number 827 of

0:21

Stop Podcasting Yourself. My

0:28

name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a

0:30

man who he preemptively took off

0:32

a sweater because he knew he was going to be

0:34

warm in here, but I feel like that's

0:36

the last layer he's able to strip down to.

0:39

But I could be wrong about that, Mr. Dave Schumke.

0:41

What are you wearing? Do you wear an undershirt? Sometimes

0:44

I do wear an undershirt, especially if it's

0:46

like this time tomorrow when it's super

0:48

cold, I'll be wearing an undershirt. Oh, okay. But

0:51

you won't strip down to it. You

0:53

know, it depends on what happens.

0:55

Sure. What could happen? Ah,

0:57

strip poker? I like to start with

0:59

very little clothes on strip poker, just undershirt and underwear.

1:02

I do, yeah, I like to do my strip poker

1:04

on the coldest day of the year so I can

1:06

get some, you know, I

1:09

don't have to show off too much too soon. I

1:12

can lose a few hands and still be in

1:14

the running. In my flannels. What do

1:16

you do when you're like down to

1:19

naked and strip poker? I guess you

1:21

drive and get to put

1:23

things back on if you win. Is strip poker,

1:25

like, is there any reason to

1:27

do it other than to have sex? Well,

1:30

my friend's co-ed in high school did

1:32

it and I don't think any of

1:34

us were having sex. Why did you,

1:36

yeah, did you do it? Yeah, yeah.

1:38

Yeah. Then did you get naked? No,

1:40

I got down to boxers and socks. You

1:43

were allowed to use one sock

1:45

each as an item. I

1:47

think, I can't imagine doing it

1:50

without being like, okay, this was fun, but

1:52

now let's have sex. Like,

1:55

you really set the stage. It's

1:58

just kind of humiliating. Yeah,

2:03

you know, teens, you can't control yourself,

2:05

your physicality, what it wants to do on

2:08

its own. As an adult,

2:10

I can't control it. Oh, me, I've got it

2:12

down. I meditate on it. Yeah?

2:14

Yeah. I say, up

2:16

boy, down boy. That's it? That's it. Yeah,

2:19

that usually does. Okay.

2:21

I mean, our guest

2:24

today, return guest to

2:26

the podcast. So

2:28

funny, is one half of, this is

2:30

that that's going to be playing in

2:32

the Vancouver, Just for Last

2:34

Festival, at the Mighty Vogue

2:37

Theater. It's Pat Kelly, everybody.

2:39

Gentlemen. Hello. Hello.

2:42

Welcome. The Vogue for now. The Vogue for

2:44

now. Let's preface it for now. You know

2:46

what's weird? Gwar is playing at the Vogue.

2:48

They still a thing? What? Yeah, they're

2:50

going to be a thing until the end of the time. I

2:53

thought I saw a thing that they weren't a thing anymore. Their

2:55

lead singer passed away. Ten years

2:57

ago. Yeah. Was

2:59

it? Yeah. And then they didn't miss

3:01

a date. They like, he passed away on a Monday. They had

3:03

a show that night. Is Gwar Canadian?

3:06

No. Okay. Was

3:08

the lead singer Canadian? He might have been. Yeah.

3:11

And then my family, I bought, well,

3:13

let's get to Noah's. Get

3:15

to Noah's. Oh my gosh.

3:21

People are on the edge of their seats

3:23

that you bought your family something. I bought

3:25

my brother and my sister-in-law at

3:27

ticket to go see Gwar in Calgary. And

3:30

in Calgary, they're playing at a nightclub. But here they're

3:32

playing at the Vogue, which seems like a weird choice

3:35

for a show that use blood

3:37

all over the audience and causes.

3:40

Right? Doesn't that seem like a weird pick?

3:42

Can I ask a few questions about Gwar?

3:44

Yes, please. Do you like them

3:46

for the music or is it? Yeah, what's your

3:49

favorite Gwar song? Like what does

3:51

a Gwar song sound like? I don't even know.

3:53

The kind of like, you know, the type of

3:55

heavy metal that's like, is it like hair metal?

3:58

No, it's more like, no. I'm

4:00

not like a crew. No, like, uh...

4:02

Anvil. Yeah, closer to

4:05

anvil, but like songs about like

4:07

intergalactic things and fantasy. Rather than

4:09

like get into my hot rod,

4:11

go for a drive, it's like

4:13

intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic. My son's

4:15

favorite song. Oh, good taste. Oh,

4:17

well, he might be aging out

4:20

of that pretty film. True.

4:26

Any other questions about Gwar? Uh, first

4:28

it was about the music, but then it was

4:30

also about that's the thing. It's like they just,

4:32

it's like a

4:34

show interactive kind of thing where it's like,

4:36

now they do the blood and now the

4:39

thing happens. They have, yeah, giant puppets and

4:41

things that they decapitate them. Yeah, but like

4:43

at a big theater and they

4:45

just tour with one size giant puppet.

4:47

They don't have like their small cabaret

4:50

set. Oh, yeah, that's... Exactly.

4:55

They have a guy that travels with them

4:57

that's their blood guy. And he has like,

4:59

he's in charge of the tank and making

5:01

sure that everything's hooked up properly. Yeah, the

5:03

actual third question. And then I'll stop. No,

5:05

no, no. Does the world know who Gwar

5:08

is? They're all masked and they

5:10

do. Yeah. But do they have personalities?

5:12

Like is there Gene Simmons of Gwar? It's like

5:14

a guy goes on like The View and is

5:16

like, it's the lead, it's the guy from Gwar.

5:18

The Gwar of The View. Oh, it's interesting. He

5:20

doesn't have his makeup on. No,

5:22

he's got a new line of submarine

5:25

sandwiches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Called Palumbo's. Palumbo's?

5:28

Yeah. Which also, where

5:30

are they from? Where are

5:32

they from? They're from like,

5:35

you mean Origin of the Bands, like where do

5:37

they live? That I don't know. So

5:39

we don't know if the guys from

5:42

Gwar, we don't know if they dropped

5:44

their makeup and they just like, hey,

5:46

it's Dean from Gwar. That's funny. It's

5:50

the kind of thing that you're like, oh

5:52

yeah, they're part of the Omaha music scene.

5:54

Exactly. Like everyone else is

5:57

just a band. They're like monsters. They always

5:59

talk about... What is it built

6:01

is it built a spill who's like

6:03

Boise or something? Oh, yeah But

6:05

anyway, I'm the Twin Falls, Idaho.

6:07

Yes. Yes. Anyway, but yeah,

6:09

I'm wondering if guar is like I

6:11

was home guys. It's like

6:13

I'm gonna look up guar now Here's the

6:16

other thing about guar my brother mostly knew

6:18

who they were from the movie Empire Records

6:21

Okay, where the band guar talks directly

6:23

to? One of the

6:25

employees through a television and tells

6:27

him to come to the show What

6:29

I'm also interested in is that if anybody

6:31

listening here has no idea who guar is

6:33

this has been a Colossal

6:36

waste. Okay, that's true. They were formed.

6:38

Yes. Well, guess what year they were

6:40

formed like 1979

6:42

I'm gonna say 1990

6:45

1984 I see right back to impact in Richmond,

6:49

Virginia There you go and

6:51

the lead singer who passed away Dave

6:55

Brocky odorous orungus odorous orungus.

6:57

Yeah, the owner sandwich shop

6:59

in he didn't but he was

7:01

a spokesperson But he was from them, Ottawa

7:05

This is where the Canadian thinking comes

7:07

from. Yeah. Okay So if

7:09

you don't know what guar is also like

7:11

one of the look at up spin doctors

7:13

is from Canada. Is that true? Could

7:18

you guys not do some bonus episodes where you

7:20

just like go through all of guar? Yeah,

7:23

and yeah talk about it. We are Desperate

7:25

for ideas for bonus episodes. I thought you were

7:27

gonna say the name of those bonus episodes would

7:30

be called. We are guar We are guar. Oh,

7:32

yeah, we are guar is pretty good. Mm-hmm, but

7:34

we aren't guar We're not

7:36

claiming to be guar. No, but we're part of the guar Army,

7:39

yeah, you ever see guar gum

7:41

listed as a an ingredient. Yep,

7:44

mostly on Like where would

7:46

you see it? I get I'm thinking What

7:48

do you think when they're writing songs does

7:51

does the does the bass player say to

7:53

the guitar players now time for a guar?

7:55

So yeah, maybe make that Time

7:58

for a gua Guar Tar

8:01

Solo. Guar Tar Solo. Guar Tar

8:03

Solo. Guar Tar Solo. Um, yeah.

8:05

Do you... Have you

8:07

seen them live? No, but I'm thinking of going, but

8:09

I just thought the Vogue was a weird... Where

8:12

are they playing? Um, I don't know.

8:15

Maybe the Vogue. Why is it weird to...

8:17

Because describe the Vogue why it would be

8:19

weird. Too big? You want to

8:21

see them in a mini arena? Yeah, exactly. Oh,

8:23

exactly. I want to go to the Agridome. Yeah,

8:25

I want to... I want it to be like...

8:28

Because yeah, the Vogue's like a

8:30

historic venue that has... All

8:33

this stuff has been redone and the

8:35

interior's really nice and it's... You

8:38

know, it's not really nice. It's

8:40

nice enough. That's nice enough. But maybe

8:42

too nice for Guar? Just... Okay,

8:45

I have my fourth and final question. Go on. Does

8:48

Guar have like

8:50

a... Do they continue

8:52

to put out new music where you're like,

8:54

the new Guar album is awesome? Or is

8:57

it a catalog of like 30 songs? You're

8:59

like, that's Guar. That's something we're going to

9:01

cover on We Are Guar. Right. Coming

9:04

this fall. Oh no, this winter?

9:07

Go to maximumfun.org/join and you can

9:09

hear our upcoming series, We Are

9:11

Guar. It's not an

9:13

extra series like we did with the Cervéne. No, no,

9:15

we're not doing all of them. We are going to

9:17

do... It's going to be played in episode. We're going

9:20

to go dig deep on Guar. Find

9:22

out if they own a sandwich shop.

9:25

If any of them have been on The View. What

9:28

as themselves or otherwise? I think the

9:31

Vogue is a... It's not like

9:33

a playhouse where they just do

9:36

fancy things. I've seen everything from...

9:39

You catch a rock and roll show. The seats go in

9:41

and out. Yeah, I've seen... And it's that kind of place.

9:43

Sometimes they take the seats up. The seats will be out

9:45

for yours. Seats are in. What?

9:49

For Guar? No, for you. Oh, for us?

9:51

Yeah, seats are in. Okay, very sleepy. I've

9:53

seen Umoja,

9:56

the African dance show. Oh, yes.

9:59

Yeah. and tell her. It seems

10:01

like the right place for... Although I would have thought Pat

10:03

and tell her would have been a more of a clean

10:05

Elizabeth size. Not in 1995. Okay, yeah. I think

10:11

the Vogue is also doing kind of TED Talk

10:13

things now. I went by there and I was

10:15

like, is that a band? And I Googled it

10:17

and it was like some tech expert. He also

10:20

has a blood guy. Yeah. It was... Wait,

10:23

did you see a TED Talk by King Gizzard and

10:25

the Lizard Wizards? Oh, that's who it was. Yeah. What

10:27

is that? I think it's a band. Did Dr. Dall

10:31

do a TED Talk? Is that also a band?

10:33

Yeah, man. Exactly who plays the

10:35

Vogue. My first ever... No, my

10:37

second ever concert, the Spirit of the

10:40

West at the Vogue. Nice. Free tickets. You'll have

10:42

to excuse me. I'm not at my best. Is

10:46

that... That's the only thing I

10:48

know about that song. I mean,

10:50

this was when their album Faithless

10:52

came out. They had If Venice

10:54

Is Sinking. Hey, I think

10:56

I know that. No. Yeah, yeah. You know that

10:58

song. Yeah. I know that one. Yeah. Now,

11:00

did they play the big song as their

11:03

encore? I didn't know any of their music.

11:06

I got free tickets from winning a radio

11:08

contest. What did you have to do to win? I

11:12

think it was Rock 101. They used to

11:14

do a thing where you had to

11:16

play elevator music of classic rock songs

11:18

and you had to... Pretty good. Guess...

11:21

Because those still exist. Radio content? Yes.

11:23

Oh, yes. Radio stations just giving away

11:25

money. Yes. This economy? Yeah. Money, tickets?

11:29

Those are the two things. We listen to Z95 in the morning and they do two

11:33

things. They do... Z95? They do Alpha Bucks

11:35

where you have to name 10...

11:37

They give you...

11:42

It's like a rapid fire 30 second. You

11:45

have to answer 10 things with the same starting

11:48

letter. Yeah. Your letter is

11:51

the seed. It's a

11:54

small animal. It's cat. So

11:57

what you sit in... Cheers. That kind of thing.

11:59

Yeah. And then they also do the ZFX

12:01

where they play a sound effect and you have,

12:04

this goes on for weeks. People call in trying

12:06

to guess what the sound effect is. It's a

12:08

cartoon character getting all heated up. Up

12:17

boy, up boy, up boy. But yeah,

12:19

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This

12:23

is all one sound effect. Yeah,

12:26

it's a guy accidentally electrocuted himself. He's

12:28

walking through a door. The

12:32

door's too short, he hits his head. His

12:36

friend is gargling in the other room. Yes.

12:39

Did I get it? No, not in the right amount.

12:41

Oh shit. So the spirit of

12:43

the West tickets flipped out of my head.

12:46

Oh no, I don't know what that one

12:49

is. Have you ever

12:51

won anything from the radio? No, but

12:53

I got on a complaining about your

12:55

hockey team show once and I was,

12:57

I got the way

12:59

more nervous than I thought. It was like

13:01

post game show, driving in the car.

13:04

You know why you're nervous? Because everyone who calls

13:06

into their shows is an idiot. I

13:08

hope it don't sound like an idiot. But

13:10

they also sound, they also, you

13:12

live with the sound of those people

13:15

being the hosts of those shows. So you think you're

13:18

familiar with them and then when they get on with

13:20

them, you realize they come across

13:22

kind of bossy. Right. And you

13:24

get a little intimidated by their sternness. Like,

13:26

okay, now we got Pat. What's

13:28

your problem? And you're like, I just

13:30

don't think Ryan Smith is going to score

13:32

30 goals. I like how

13:35

we played tonight and I think there's a

13:37

problem with the hockey. Get

13:39

off my phone. Yeah. That's the

13:41

only time I've ever talked on a phone

13:45

in radio. Well, Pat, that's not exactly true

13:47

because you hosted a show on CBC for

13:49

many years where you played characters who called

13:51

in. But that doesn't

13:53

make me nervous. No, because it wasn't

13:55

live. I think on an FM radio

13:57

conference was making me nervous. Also,

14:00

you don't know how nice the

14:02

people are. You just hear them doing their thing.

14:04

They, maybe they're really curt with people that don't,

14:07

you know, make a significant effect on them.

14:09

I love the, like when they, you know,

14:11

it's some receptionist at some like loading doc

14:13

warehouse who listens to this show every day.

14:16

And it's like, just

14:18

loyal to the music, loyal to the

14:21

host, loyal to the contest. My mother

14:23

would listen to Dr. Laura.

14:25

Oh, I listened to Dr. Laura. Uh,

14:28

and then she would just keep the radio.

14:30

Dr. Laura was a, um,

14:33

horrible woman, horrible woman. Parenting advice.

14:35

Single or syndicated show. And she

14:37

was, yeah, she was awful. But

14:39

so fun to listen to. And

14:41

then, but then my mom would

14:43

just listen to everything on that

14:45

station. Oh yeah. And so, so it

14:48

would be Art Bell in the middle of the night

14:50

and, uh, this woman called Dr.

14:52

Joy Brown might, one of my, the highlights

14:54

of my life. What was

14:56

her thing? She was just like a

14:58

health, like a physician. Oh,

15:01

like people would call it and be like, yeah, yeah, one

15:03

of my boobs is bigger than the other. As

15:07

you send in measurements. So yeah, that kind

15:09

of radio doesn't exist anymore. Does it? I

15:11

don't know. My mom was like, as a

15:13

doc radio. Yeah. But to that extent, like

15:15

it, wouldn't it be just all podcasts now?

15:18

Like the people calling in are also,

15:20

you just go like you get in your car. If you

15:22

don't have serious or whatever, you just

15:24

turn on, yeah. And, uh,

15:26

the few years ago, my mom was like,

15:29

and she discovered

15:31

podcasts, my mother, and she

15:33

was, uh, by way of this one,

15:35

I think so. And then she

15:37

was listening. Oh, Dr. Joy has a podcast

15:39

and then a few, uh, you know,

15:42

after listening to

15:44

it for a couple of years, she's like, it's

15:46

not updating Dave. There's a problem with my podcast.

15:49

The Dr. Joy podcast won't update. I

15:51

Google it and she died. I

15:57

don't know how to tell you. Was

16:00

it an interesting cause

16:03

of death? No.

16:09

She was a horse's father. She choked on her microphone.

16:12

The Dr. Laura show, she

16:14

had a catchphrase that everybody

16:17

that called in would say off the top of the

16:19

call, which was, hi, Dr.

16:21

Laura, I'm my kid's mom. And

16:23

then they'd go on the... Because she

16:25

said there's like, once you have a kid, that's all you should

16:27

be. You should only be a mom.

16:30

There's no career, no things outside the house.

16:32

Your mom, that's your job. Well, I don't know if that was

16:35

only, but that's my first credit. And

16:37

it was parenting. I remember Dr. Laura,

16:39

but I don't really remember. No, it

16:41

was kind of like some of it

16:43

was... Just life stuff? Life stuff and

16:45

advice and yeah. What was she a

16:47

doctor in? Oh, nothing. Nothing.

16:49

It was only baloney. One of those, you

16:51

can just legally put DR before

16:53

you. Yeah, she was like a, you know,

16:55

had a PhD in kinesiology. Not a PhD.

17:00

Had a degree of some sort. Maybe, yeah.

17:02

I want to start this. Let's start one of these. Yeah,

17:04

Dr. Pat. Yeah. Oh

17:07

yeah. So, what's your hard line? Like what

17:09

am I trying to fix? What men? Men.

17:12

I'm trying to fix men. Now, in what direction? Let's

17:15

just take some calls. Okay. Let's

17:17

take some calls. You got a call or a gram on the line?

17:20

Hi, Pat. Hi. Start

17:23

with the phrase, please. Hi, Pat.

17:25

I don't take no shit. There we

17:27

go. I'm

17:29

from no one. Yourself. Yeah, that's

17:31

right. I don't take no shit from no one and myself.

17:35

Great. I have two different size

17:37

boobs and I'm not sure what

17:39

to do. What are you eating? A

17:42

wet sub. Well, that'll do

17:44

it. And

17:48

that's another man fix. On my left

17:50

side, I eat a wet sub and on my

17:52

right side, I eat oatmeal. That's

17:55

another man fix. Oh, hello. Hi, Pat.

17:58

Yes. Start with the phrase, please. Saturdays

18:00

are for the boys. And?

18:04

And Jesus. Yes.

18:08

Yeah, I got a problem. Can you just

18:10

call me Dr. Pat? Dr. Pat, sir? Yes.

18:14

My wife is, she

18:16

looms large. She's

18:19

sort of a puppet master around here. I

18:21

mean literally. She got me tied

18:23

up to string. Let me ask you this. Is

18:26

your life feel better because of this?

18:28

No, no, no, no, no. Then

18:30

what do we always say? Get

18:32

out of there! Okay,

18:35

off I go. Whee! Well, same catchphrase

18:37

as us. Oh man, that was

18:39

good. That was good. Got

18:42

a good catchphrase for Hope? Get out

18:44

of there? Yeah, but like, elongated. Get

18:46

out of there! I love it. And

18:50

that's, is that how Dr. Pat

18:52

signs off for the show or what's

18:54

the sign off? Like that's what you're saying. Get out

18:56

of here is your command to your

19:00

You're making it sound like get her

19:02

done, first of all. Get

19:04

out of there means like, it's no

19:07

more fight, only fight.

19:12

This is how men need to be. Always

19:14

running. That's flight.

19:18

Adrenaline should only give you the

19:20

flight. Run from everything. I

19:22

used to listen to Tom to Tom,

19:24

who was a big men's, early

19:27

men's rights activist, and

19:29

he had likeus 101, which was how to

19:31

get the most tail for the least money.

19:34

Oh Jesus Christ. Really?

19:38

The least money. What you want to do is

19:40

get some cheap vodka. She put it in some

19:42

orange crush. If

19:44

she's not putting out on the first date,

19:46

get out of there! But

19:48

I remember he a guy called in and

19:51

said, so I'm dating this woman and

19:54

he goes, you mean porken? Yes. Sorry,

20:00

Amy, I'm horking. What do I say? What do I always

20:02

say? We don't use dating.

20:04

Yeah, we're not talking dating. You're either screwing

20:06

or you're horking. Those are the two options.

20:09

And if you're not? Yeah.

20:13

And he had an initiative called Flash Friday

20:15

where he would want women to

20:17

flash a man on the highway. Friday.

20:21

There's another pile up on the 402. Was

20:24

he a standup comic originally? No.

20:27

Tom, I remember this name, Tom Likas.

20:29

Yeah. To

20:31

end the call, people would say, blow me up,

20:33

Tom. And he would play an explosion sound effect.

20:35

That's pretty funny. And then he ended up having

20:38

so many sound effects that they would be like,

20:40

blow me up, robot style. Where

20:44

did you hear this? I feel like. So

20:46

there was a talk radio channel. I

20:48

feel like going back to the contest

20:51

too, sound effects, I feel like there

20:53

was an era of radio where they

20:55

were just amazed that they had a

20:57

library of sound effects. And

21:00

it was like, we can use all of these

21:03

for whatever we want. We don't have to pay

21:05

to use Stewie every time.

21:07

Yeah. Yeah,

21:09

we signed off a license of Stewie.

21:11

Because even those morning zoo shows, they

21:13

just overdid it with all that. It

21:15

was literally that those were the years

21:17

this came out. When you

21:19

were growing up, was Jerry Forbes,

21:21

the man in town in Calgary.

21:23

Classic rock. Classic rock. C.J. 92.

21:26

C.J. 92. He had a wicked mullet,

21:29

like a real buzzed on

21:31

top, long flowing mullet. And

21:34

this maybe lore, do you remember the

21:36

champ? Yes. Oh yeah.

21:38

I think that's from Calgary too. I think Jerry

21:40

Forbes was the champ. And that was syndicated, and

21:42

that was Jerry Forbes. And that was. I thought

21:44

it was Bro Jake. Well maybe

21:47

it was. Maybe what? It was somebody. It

21:49

was a radio Canadian. Yeah, and it

21:51

got syndicated to like every rock station in

21:53

the world. How would you even describe it

21:55

for somebody that hasn't heard the champ? It's

21:58

like. It's

22:00

a he was a guy. It was one of these

22:03

guys and they just turned down the base in his

22:05

voice like crazy Or turned up the

22:07

banged up the bass I mean and it was like he

22:09

would it was always the same joke

22:12

He was a lot a log a monologue about

22:14

coming home and Misinterpreting somebody

22:16

saying something about his wife. Yeah, and

22:18

then he would Describe

22:20

punching this person. I just

22:22

lose it Give

22:25

him up to the solar plexa down on the

22:27

thing and he goes out and he's flat unconscious

22:29

and ever since I've been the champ Yeah, how's

22:31

that? We know how's that? How

22:35

are your mums lemons doing? Like

22:40

literally like so I'm at the grocery Guy

22:43

comes up to me. He says champ.

22:45

I saw your your wife's lemons. I

22:47

gave him a squeeze. I said

22:49

pardon me. I Pardon

22:52

me says I saw your wife or I squeezed

22:54

your lemons And

23:02

this would be on the radio like every day Yeah,

23:04

and people as a kid couldn't get it.

23:07

I also should play like a minute of

23:09

stand-up sometimes I

23:12

don't know. I just remember like Jerry force

23:14

being of the very like pseudo

23:17

Shock jock lots of sound effects

23:19

lots of twisted tune Yeah, and of course the

23:21

champ ever since I've been the chair I

23:24

remember this is so that's exactly cuz I was

23:26

about the age where we just thought that was

23:28

the funniest thing the best a

23:30

guy I says pardon Then

23:34

he would repeat it again, I

23:36

saw your wife I remind you if someone

23:39

says I squeezed your I've a little 11

23:41

you would have I would say part of

23:43

it Like neither writer for this guy. How

23:45

does it really just misdirect the squeeze 11?

23:48

So I saw your wife at the grocery

23:50

store She's looking

23:52

at some no. No, it

23:54

would be like she's looking at buying some

23:56

cabbages by these

23:58

women I

24:01

give him a squeeze. No, it's not working. It's getting worse.

24:03

No. I think it was good the way it was. Yeah,

24:06

I screwed it up. But then you'd have to come

24:08

up with like one every week

24:10

or whatever. Yeah. There's somebody that

24:12

has a file folder of 400 of these. I

24:15

hope so. Can I Google it? Who's the writer of

24:17

the champ? You know what? It

24:19

might be Brojek. I can see

24:21

it being Brojek. He's not around anymore, right? Is he

24:23

still with us? But it did

24:26

get less clever over time. Yeah.

24:28

And then you'd get down to just like, a guy

24:31

came up to me and said, I screwed your

24:33

grandma. I said, bar me and

24:35

your grandma are working. Yeah.

24:37

What are you dating, you mean? Brojek

24:40

was the champ. He was the champ.

24:42

And was Brojek your Jerry Forbes? Boy,

24:46

I think ours were Larry and

24:48

Willie. Oh, Larry and Willie. That was more

24:50

of a, that was a classic rock. That

24:52

was a modern rock station. And ours was

24:54

always classic. It was,

24:56

and I remember there being,

24:58

cause like at the, at that time

25:01

DJs would be at a premium. Like

25:03

somebody that's like a household name. So

25:05

they signed a contract with him where they

25:07

cleared up all his debt and

25:09

bought him a house. That's how

25:12

they kept it. Cause he was going to go to Toronto or

25:14

something. He was going to go onto another station. Got to keep

25:16

Gary. So there's a YouTube channel of the

25:18

champ. Oh,

25:21

okay. Excellent. Just

25:23

all of that. Apparently let's just have

25:25

a listen here. This is a verbo.

25:27

This is bad for a verbo. Which

25:30

is verbo. Hey

25:34

everybody, it's me the champ. I've been losing

25:36

it. And

25:39

out of my mind, been crazy,

25:42

been really, really, really, really in

25:44

pain with my teeth. I've had

25:46

a lot of problems with my

25:49

teeth lately. And

25:51

you know, you probably heard every one of

25:53

them, me going to the dentist. And you

25:55

know, I never, I never believed in the

25:57

deuce fairy until I've seen my dentist walk,

25:59

right? Anyway, he

26:01

comes over to me. Here we go. Here

26:03

we go. Would you like some

26:05

nitrous oxide? I said, well, I'm not into drugs, right?

26:08

I don't like the drugs. I don't like the

26:10

gas thing, right? He

26:13

said, I got to give you the needle, champ.

26:15

You're a big, tough boy. I remember when you

26:17

fought Liston, right? You fought Liston. He went down.

26:20

He snapped. You got back up

26:22

and he hit you so many times, like I couldn't

26:24

believe the pain you could take. I said,

26:26

Doc, tell me how much pain I'm going

26:28

to feel. He said, well,

26:30

you might feel a small prick in your mouth.

26:35

I said, pardon? I said, pardon? He

26:38

said, you might feel a small prick in your

26:41

mouth. Well, I lose it. I

26:44

snap. I grabbed a nitrous oxide, right?

26:46

I put it right on his face.

26:49

He's laughing. He's just laughing. He's

26:52

floating around the room. Here comes the

26:54

double hammerhead, scissor kick to the groin,

26:56

right? I

26:59

hit him so many times on the right, he was begging for

27:01

a lift. Put him down in

27:03

the dentist chair, spun him around. He was

27:05

still laughing. I stopped him with my big

27:08

number 12. Oh, right there on

27:10

the ground. I said, how's that pal? Does

27:12

that look like I'll feel a small prick in

27:14

my mouth enough for you ever

27:16

since I've been the

27:19

champ? Syndicated. everywhere. Yeah. Every

27:22

kid's favorite. And you know what? Exactly

27:25

as I remember. Yeah. I

27:28

said, I mean, there

27:33

was, was there any like local

27:36

sketch comedy on TV? There

27:41

was a show, I feel like

27:44

in Calgary. Yeah. On

27:46

Shaw TV that had, I don't

27:49

remember the name of the comedian, but it

27:51

was kind of like a funny, silly kind

27:53

of sketch show. Because we had, sorry,

27:56

we had Almost Live, which

27:58

was a Seattle. sketch show.

28:01

Yes. That was on, it preempted Saturday

28:03

Night Live every week. Right. So

28:06

Saturday Night Live only started at midnight here. And

28:09

it would have that kind of like

28:11

repeatable sketch. Like

28:13

they'd do Mind Your

28:16

Manage with Billy Kwan. Okay. Which

28:18

was a like a badly dubbed

28:21

kung fu thing. Okay. They

28:23

would do high... Sounds potential to be

28:25

something racist. Oh, definitely. But

28:28

it had like a cool thing where like Billy

28:30

Kwan would do

28:33

a big like flying jump kick that would

28:35

follow the John Keister around and like there

28:38

would be two feet in front of the

28:40

camera. Pretty good. Pretty good

28:42

for a local show. And then they had the high five

28:44

and white guys. Oh yeah. They

28:46

had Speedwalkers starting Bill Nye, a

28:48

speedwalking superhero. And

28:52

the lame list was

28:54

just a bunch of headbangers calling

28:56

things lame. Did

28:58

any of these people go on to... Bill Nye.

29:01

...beyond the scientist? Joel McHale. Okay.

29:04

This is where he was from. And

29:08

that's it. That's it. I

29:10

think those are the... No, Rainn Wilson

29:12

feels like he may have been around

29:14

them. No. Where did Rainn

29:16

Wilson come from? Seattle, I thought. Yeah?

29:19

Yeah. It's part of the grunge scene, right? Yeah.

29:22

He was in Nirvana, the Baha'i grunge scene. I

29:24

just forget that there was extra members in Nirvana.

29:26

There was those three guys in Rainn Wilson. Rainn

29:28

Wilson and Pat Smir. Yeah, Pat Smir was there.

29:32

And who was their opening band back then?

29:34

Oh, back then? Yeah. Oh, Nirvana's

29:36

opening band? Yeah, yeah. They toured it. It

29:39

was almost live. It was almost live. Yeah.

29:45

Years ago when we took this podcast,

29:47

we went to the Bummer Shoe Festival,

29:49

we had John Keister, who was the

29:51

star of Almost Live as our guest.

29:54

And he was great. And is he

29:56

still doing sketch comedy? I think he

29:58

was teaching at... the art Institute

30:00

or something. Yeah. It was teaching company. We had,

30:04

you may have this show out here too, but

30:06

this is, do you remember one

30:08

called let's go, which

30:10

was improv, right? It

30:12

was like kids on like

30:14

drama blocks and like wearing T-shirts. This is like

30:17

the first time I've thought about this. Yeah. So

30:19

many years. And it was, I think it was

30:21

improv though. It would be like, there was like

30:23

a woman who was kind of the host and

30:25

she'd like, get the kids to like play act.

30:27

But I remember

30:29

that. It was like a cable. We had some

30:31

weird, like it wasn't some

30:34

weeks. It seems like a drama show and

30:36

other weeks it seemed like a sketch comedy

30:38

show. And it had Devin Sawa and Sarah

30:41

chalk and a few other, um,

30:45

like, like, Oh, okay. So like people,

30:47

young local actors who grew into the

30:50

professionals, but I couldn't tell you anything

30:53

about it. I think they shot it at my

30:55

brother's high school. What

30:58

was it called? I don't know. We

31:00

had a game show too. That was, um, uh,

31:04

kid street. Yeah. Street is free. I think we

31:06

talked about this. Yeah. Who was the host and

31:08

Kevin, Kevin Frank. Kevin Frank. Uh,

31:10

there was also a show that was shot out here.

31:12

Did you ever go on kid street? My brother and

31:14

I, we tried out for it. I think we, we

31:17

had, we had. I'm

31:19

trying to remember the particulars of we had worked out a

31:21

way to cheat like

31:24

by, we wanted to tap

31:26

his leg if it was right or so.

31:28

You sat in a bumper car and it

31:30

was a game show for siblings. Was it

31:32

like, was the format like the newlywed game

31:34

a question about your sibling? Yeah. Oh yeah.

31:36

One sibling would leave the other

31:38

one. We would, uh, you know, get there. Be like,

31:41

did he say that? You

31:43

know, what's his favorite class and what'd you do

31:45

to avoid homework? And then they would come

31:47

back on, see how well they match. If

31:49

they made it through that round to

31:51

get into the final, they had to do a, I

31:53

think it was called a rebus. What? Where's

31:56

the weirdest place

31:58

you and your sibling have made whoop. I am

32:01

a butt Kevin. But

32:06

the most memorable part of it is that

32:08

they made the kids clap in the most

32:10

awkward of ways. You had

32:12

to put your hands over your head and it

32:14

was like, yeah. But it was iconic. Yeah. You

32:17

know? Branding. Yeah. There

32:20

was one from out here called Acting Crazy. Yeah. Which

32:22

was charades. Yes. And

32:24

it was just on like a white set with, with

32:27

Waincock. Yeah. Now forgive me.

32:29

So forgive me for entering

32:31

us into this next bit of

32:34

dialogue, but is it

32:36

time to come up with another one of

32:38

these? Another improv. Yeah. Like

32:40

there's got to be some airtime somewhere

32:42

where we could get out there and

32:44

make an iconic show for kids. It's

32:46

not YouTube. So what's our, what are the criteria?

32:48

Yeah. What's our criteria? What's

32:50

our hook? What makes us different than all the

32:52

other improv shows that are on now? For men

32:55

only. And if you don't like it, get out.

32:59

Charades for kids. Charades for kids. Okay.

33:02

Done by adults. Yeah. With

33:04

Dennis Simpson from the polka dot door. Oh yeah. Dennis Simpson

33:06

was on that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

33:10

And Gary Jones from the Derrators. Gary Jones. Maybe to,

33:12

to flip it on its head because it feels

33:14

like the, some of it is, you know, it's

33:16

improv or sketch comedy. This is like dramatic. So

33:18

this is dramatic charades. For kids.

33:21

For kids. If you, if you don't,

33:23

if you accidentally say a word during charades, you

33:25

get slimed. You get, remember you can't do that

33:27

on television. When they get executed? Yeah, they got

33:29

executed. They were given a cigar or cigarette. Yeah.

33:32

And they were brought out to a shooting squad. So we need the shooting

33:34

squad. Yeah. We could steal that. That's.

33:37

If I was given the choice between a cigar and a cigarette

33:39

for that, I would take the cigar because it takes longer. So

33:41

that was, you can't do that on television. They

33:44

had their, the universe had its rules. Yes.

33:46

If you say, I don't know, you get slimed. Yeah. If

33:49

you say water, you get watered. That's right. If

33:51

you go to barths, you

33:54

eat some disgusting burgers. I

33:56

heard that. That's what

33:58

his catchphrase is. Yeah. I

34:00

don't like the champ if you

34:02

predicted Alanis would be a huge

34:04

star you stayed on the show

34:07

yeah So

34:09

this charades for kids dramatic

34:12

yeah, so why are we on board with the

34:14

slime I did a contest is it a

34:16

competition So they what do they sit

34:19

in? Oh like

34:21

a big thing of baked beans are they

34:23

going around like are they in cars are

34:25

they sitting in? No, I said, I'm picturing

34:27

it like loose Plints

34:30

and boxes and you know

34:33

Chest pieces yeah, and yeah, what is? So

34:37

what makes it dramatic charades as opposed

34:39

to what was acting crazy comedic charades

34:41

I think they were doing silly faces

34:43

this would be very somber very somber

34:45

very and you need to be almost

34:47

like artistic in your presentation and the

34:51

Movies and the things that you're getting people

34:53

to name. They're all very serious. Yeah I'm

34:55

over the river quay. Yeah. Yeah Be

34:58

a hard one. Yeah, okay, okay I got one

35:00

and if you lose the champ comes out and

35:03

sucker punch you get you the solar party pardon

35:06

How's that bridge over the river quay for

35:08

you? Do you think rich on he sat

35:10

there with? Notepad and

35:12

wrote down all the things he could misinterpret.

35:15

Yes, squeezing lemons. Look at my mouth Every

35:18

like the way that you know, you have

35:21

a notebook of Comedy I

35:23

just like keeping it a running town.

35:25

Yeah, I am so so okay.

35:27

We're gonna do Serious

35:30

charades. Okay, I picked for this forget.

35:32

Okay Move

35:35

movie to two words Lost

35:42

my mind. No, I don't have it.

35:45

Uh shit leaving, Las Vegas. It

35:47

was Michael Clayton Then

35:50

what happens to the team that loses in this circumstance

35:53

Then they put on their play. Okay,

35:56

so if you lose you must mount

35:58

a white mountain on television And

36:02

can the play be funny or is

36:04

that also all serious? The only way

36:07

we're gonna break through in this market

36:09

of nostalgic cable access kid shows. Is

36:14

cable access still up to its old

36:16

good God? And are kids absolutely

36:19

taken by make-believe? That was

36:25

the promise of these shows. I

36:28

don't know if cable access exists

36:30

anymore because I have

36:33

cable and I wouldn't know what

36:35

channel it is on. No. I

36:38

used to though because it was the stomping

36:40

grounds of... How was that? Urban Rush?

36:42

Urban Rush. But it was channel 4 and they would

36:46

put all the Canadian channels low down so

36:48

they would have

36:51

a competitive advantage when someone turned on

36:53

their TV. People start going up

36:56

channel by channel from 2, 3, 4 and now all my

37:01

sports channels are on the 900s. Yeah,

37:03

that's true. All that stuff has been

37:05

relegated to the almost

37:07

satellite dish region. Well, and the late

37:09

night ones too. That's where all the

37:11

music shows used to come from and

37:13

stuff. Just turn on cable access at

37:15

like 2 in the morning and it would be like

37:18

some crazy guy playing

37:20

a band. Yeah. Yeah. So

37:22

where does that go? I guess. I don't know. It

37:24

all goes to YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. YouTube's got the... Alright,

37:26

let's just go on YouTube. You guys

37:29

just want to watch YouTube? Yeah, I've subscribed to the champ channel.

37:31

Oh, it

37:34

probably exists. It is. I

37:36

thought that was its whole channel. I think

37:38

it's a whole fucking account. Here's

37:40

the thing. I'm going to put it out there. If anybody

37:43

out there has a collection of

37:45

Comedy at Club 54 clips or

37:48

videos, I'm interested in purchasing these things.

37:50

I'm just putting it out there because

37:52

it's not on YouTube. I've looked on

37:54

YouTube. I searched the world wide web

37:56

to find... Where was that from? That

37:58

was from Burlington, Ontario. And

38:01

that stuff doesn't exist anywhere? I can't

38:03

find it. I mean, I'm sure it

38:06

exists in like an editor's basement somewhere.

38:09

But you don't want to go there. No. Who

38:11

hosted that? What's

38:14

his name? Guy Fieri. There

38:17

was Guy Fieri. It was Guy Fieri? Yeah,

38:19

yeah, yeah. Diners, drivers, and fun

38:21

flies. Ben Guy. Ben Guy. Ah, his

38:23

name. And he

38:26

would have people, young

38:28

folks trying to make a name for

38:30

themselves. Lots of old performers that had

38:32

been around. There would

38:34

probably be some very surprisingly

38:36

awesome clips. Well, that's

38:39

the thing. I was in Toronto

38:41

and it was on the local, things

38:43

like CHCH or something at one in

38:45

the morning. And I contacted them and

38:48

they were like, we don't know where this goes. It's

38:51

not there's nobody programming things

38:53

with somebody way away. That's

38:55

doing this programming. And so

38:59

that was my only line of inquiry. Yeah. And

39:01

then you gave up. I gave up. You're not

39:03

like me, man. I'm like a dog when I

39:05

get a bone. Yeah.

39:08

You solved the Zodiac murders. I

39:10

tried. I

39:12

tried. They made a movie about me trying. Yeah.

39:14

Yeah. And I was scared. Remember the moment where

39:16

he goes downstairs with the guy? That's what I

39:18

think going to an editor. An editor's basement? Yeah.

39:21

We got all the Calvary at Club 54s in

39:23

here. Yeah. Just keep

39:25

going. Keep going to them at home. Yeah.

39:27

That sounds like a pretty minor

39:30

investigation you're in. Yes. But I'm

39:32

wondering, would you ever be compelled

39:35

to actually, either of

39:37

you, go into a serious rabbit hole

39:39

of obsession, solving

39:42

something, finding something? I

39:44

did a thing

39:47

like that where... And can we make a podcast

39:49

about following you? Yes. Yeah. This

39:52

was... Do you remember

39:54

Stand Out Comedian from Canada, Mike McDonald?

39:56

Yes. He

40:00

had a liver

40:02

transplant. And one of the things that happened

40:04

when he got a liver transplant is he

40:06

lost his long-term memory. So

40:09

he couldn't remember his act and

40:11

he couldn't remember, like he could remember things

40:13

within a day or two, but he couldn't

40:15

remember any of these things. So he

40:18

solicited people like, if you

40:20

have a video of me, can you

40:22

send it to me? And give context too

40:24

of like, this was you doing this. Wow.

40:27

Yeah. And so, I

40:29

hunted down. Is he still with us?

40:31

No, he's not. Ah, there

40:33

goes a podcast. Yeah.

40:36

Surprise ending. We

40:38

screwed that up. Uh, but

40:40

I found a guy who

40:42

was the producer of a special he made and I got

40:44

in touch with him and he's like, Oh yeah, I can

40:46

send to you on CD. Like

40:49

he was so happy to oblige. Well,

40:51

and so I got that connected to him. You

40:53

brought, you gave it to Mike McDonald. He was

40:55

like, I don't remember asking for this. Where

40:59

he's like, who are you? Yeah. What

41:03

is comedy? I,

41:07

I don't remember that. He took another

41:09

job in the meantime, like I work

41:11

at a lube shop. Yeah. He,

41:13

yeah. That's so I was able to do that.

41:15

And that was kind of my investigation. Like, okay,

41:18

I'll watch the end of the

41:20

credits for whatever comedy now

41:22

or whatever. Find out who it was who

41:24

directed it and who produced it. But

41:26

there's always people like, you know, even people

41:28

who like my uncle is passionate

41:31

about our, our family history and

41:33

his research and collecting files and

41:36

spending his nights like databases and

41:38

stuff. I, I like think that

41:40

would be just so I don't, I'm not compelled

41:42

to do it. Yeah. Beyond like two

41:45

clicks. I'm like, ah, whatever. Well,

41:47

I remember these people who were alive

41:49

a hundred years ago. Yeah. I don't

41:51

have any. Organize

41:53

a hunt, a search, a thing. I

41:56

would just don't want it. Yeah.

41:58

My, my father-in-law. But I know you want

42:00

me to, Graham. That's just a thing. Well, but I want you

42:03

to be happy about it. I don't want you to be

42:05

going along just because I want you to be. Well, I just

42:07

thought I needed to be honest with you because you are

42:10

constantly saying like, go on an adventure

42:12

path. Yeah. Go on a hunt. Yeah,

42:14

go on. Here's a shotgun and some shells. Go

42:16

on a hunt. Yeah, come back. Don't come back

42:18

without, you know, a

42:21

basket full of memories. Yeah, get out of

42:23

here. Is it get out of here? Yeah, get

42:25

out of here. Yeah, get out of there. Get out of there. Get

42:27

out of there. Yeah. Sorry, Dave,

42:29

you were going to say your uncle was an

42:31

investigator? Yeah, well, I was going to say my

42:34

father-in-law. He did that whole family tree thing. And

42:37

then, you know, got to the bottom of

42:39

it. And then he started doing mine.

42:41

And I was like, OK. Yours

42:44

was different than your own. Yeah, I see.

42:46

Yeah, we're different. I see. My father-in-law. Is

42:48

it not your father? No, it's, um,

42:51

wait. Wait, is your father-in-law your father? Yes.

42:53

My father-in-law's my father. Yeah, it's one of

42:55

the things I get. It's my sister-in-law. That's

42:58

why you weren't allowed on the kid's tree.

43:00

My father-in-law is my father twice removed. And

43:04

then apparently, we're all related to Charlemagne.

43:07

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I

43:10

don't have anybody in my family that does that. And

43:14

so you want to know if your

43:16

great grandfather, Procop Schumka, was the mayor

43:18

of Sifton, Manitoba? That's pretty

43:21

good. Prominent role in

43:23

a small town. It was a town

43:25

next to Sifton. Do we think now

43:27

that with the digital presence of our

43:29

algorithm, my

43:32

algorithm is completely acoustic?

43:36

We will no longer need, it's not

43:38

going to be a mystery. Of

43:40

what? Like these family searches

43:43

that people go on, it's because they're trying to go back

43:45

to like the 1500s. Starting

43:48

like as of 40 years ago,

43:51

everything's going to be like, oh, just go

43:53

on Facebook. Oh, that was my great grandfather.

43:55

What if you found your relatives

43:58

like quite a ways back were very well-liked? and

44:00

just got less wealthy over time. Like they

44:02

were the original wealthiest. Yeah, like they owned

44:04

by the time it came to you in

44:06

Calgary in 1985. There was

44:08

nothing left. Nothing left. I,

44:11

generation after generation, squandering. That'd

44:13

be amazing. I was, we

44:15

were watching good television series.

44:17

Yeah. Long poor. Tonight.

44:22

Long poor. And

44:24

then dramatic charades. Yeah. We

44:26

were watching something and someone on

44:28

TV had a Scottish accent and my kids

44:30

were like, oh, he talks like Shrek. And

44:33

I was like, well, he's Scottish. So did

44:36

you know that you're actually, you know, your

44:38

last name is Ukrainian, but you're five

44:41

eighths Scottish. And my kids were like, are

44:43

we related to Shrek? You're

44:46

five eighths older. Well,

44:49

how did you answer it? I did yes, we're related to

44:51

Shrek. In fact, your

44:54

Scottish name is Donke. We

44:56

related to Shrek. I love it.

44:58

Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well,

45:00

I'll tell you, Gray, I'm speaking of these dang kids of

45:02

mine. This is our first recording of 2024. Happy

45:07

new year. Happy new year to everyone. And

45:09

we, so we just finished our winter break. Yeah.

45:15

And the kids, we were home a

45:17

lot. And like once a week, no, maybe once every

45:20

couple of weeks at my house,

45:22

we do a month. And then the whole

45:24

week at my house, we do

45:26

a movie night where we like to drag in

45:28

an extra futon mattress. You

45:31

lie on the floor, we watch a movie. What's

45:33

the snack situation? Popcorn, you

45:35

know, if there's, you know, an

45:38

M&M available, throw some of those around. But

45:41

the highlight is just the floor and the mattress.

45:44

Like it's tonight, no couches. Tonight,

45:47

no couch. Well, no, there's a couch next to

45:49

the mattress. But it's like everybody comes. It's just

45:51

more horizontal space. It's a flop. It's a flop

45:53

house. It's our flop era. And,

45:58

but over the holidays. We did

46:00

this like a couple times

46:02

a week, three or four times a week. Oh wow.

46:04

And we even did a couple movie days. Did you?

46:07

You weren't trucking this futon in and out and

46:09

in and out. No, no, futon, it was a

46:11

week of futon. Do you think you did it

46:13

more during the holidays because the futon was there?

46:16

I intended, I intentionally was like, let's

46:21

make this a thing. Right.

46:24

Because it's still there, by the way, too. The futon?

46:26

Yeah, I thought it went. What are we gonna watch

46:28

after this? Yeah, exactly. It's disgusting. Trek

46:30

one or two? Or three? Well,

46:33

we are related to the Trek family. By

46:37

marriage or by blood? But on Abby's

46:39

side by marriage, but my side

46:41

by blood. Whoa. Yeah. Same

46:43

father though. Yeah. She had to

46:45

live on those blood tests. Where you guys getting married?

46:47

Well, you know what? We're freaky. So,

46:52

like, and normally we'll watch, we

46:55

watched kids' movies for a while, but now they're

46:57

more interested, and we are very interested in showing

46:59

them movies that are for

47:01

like, you know, tweens. Oh,

47:04

okay. What's it, let me guess, what's

47:06

a good tween film? E.T.

47:12

Cool Runnings. Cool Runnings, you're nailing it.

47:14

Cool Runnings would be good. We

47:17

did, this time we did 13 going on 30. Okay,

47:20

yeah. Jennifer Garner. Jennifer

47:22

Garner, Mark Ruffalo vehicle. And

47:26

one that I hadn't seen since I

47:28

saw it in the theater, Jurassic Park.

47:32

Now, I feel the footsteps.

47:35

Oh yeah, yeah. I saw that a

47:38

drive-in. Oh, wow. A

47:40

lot of it is very car heavy. In our heavy

47:42

core. In some,

47:44

like maybe a van of some sort, and

47:46

it was threatening to rain, so it was

47:49

like very overcast. This is

47:51

in Whitefish, Montana. Were you under the

47:53

belief that the dinosaurs exist? No,

47:58

my family never, they. said dinosaurs

48:00

never existed. And yeah, you've got a

48:03

whole other Jesus put the bones. Yeah,

48:05

yeah, yeah. Yeah. The bone. Yeah. Um,

48:07

I did you, did you see it

48:10

at the time? You're a little earache. Yeah.

48:12

I mean, I, I, I definitely did. Yeah.

48:15

I'm that's why I could feel I can feel the rumbling.

48:17

Did you love it? I did

48:20

because I feel like I didn't love

48:22

it. I may be thinking

48:24

of Twister. Which

48:26

one had Helen hunt? Yeah. There's a lot of

48:29

rumbling in that as well. And they had that

48:31

Shania Twain song. That was in Jurassic Park, right?

48:34

No one needs to know right now. Is that from, you

48:37

know, the 40th most popular Shania

48:40

Twain song. Yeah.

48:42

We're going to have a little girl, a little boy, a

48:44

little dog named Leroy. No

48:46

one needs to know right now. You guys, why

48:48

didn't you start singing? You hang me up

48:50

to dry a little bit of a ballad. No,

48:53

it's kind of a fun. It's kind of a hobby song.

48:56

Boy, I think the only song I remember

48:58

from the Twister soundtrack was Human's Being by

49:01

Van Halen. I might be wrong about that.

49:04

Anyway, Phil Zumaur-Hoffmann, that is worse, they would

49:06

say. Yeah. In Twister.

49:09

Yeah. He was like the

49:11

like goofy scientist. No,

49:13

like more like a neurologist. No,

49:16

van driver. Yeah, van driver. He was more

49:18

like a van driver. Was he, did he

49:20

have like a tinfoil hat kind of guy?

49:22

Camera, news cameraman guy. No,

49:25

he was like, was he a chaser?

49:27

If the main characters kissed each other,

49:29

he'd be like, whoa, get a room.

49:32

Wrong time, you two. Now get it.

49:35

Did the main characters kiss each other? Yeah.

49:38

Yeah, tornado. I haven't seen it. I've seen

49:40

it. Yeah, they started on either side of

49:42

the tornado. They went into the smooch in

49:45

the middle. They got

49:47

the big boy. Yeah. I

49:50

know a lot about that movie, but I haven't seen it. I

49:52

think I know what you're doing on the futon

49:54

tonight. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty fun. Yeah,

49:57

it's a tween movie. Yeah. Any

49:59

tornadoes. It's a metaphor for

50:01

puberty, dude. Oh

50:04

yeah, kids. They close with

50:06

that dude. You see how the,

50:08

you know... That's your inside of your

50:10

body right now. The tornado kind of looks like a

50:12

uterus. And

50:16

there's a bunch of stuff gonna get pushed out. And

50:19

then when you're done, you're not in Kansas anymore. My

50:22

dad said I had to sit out in the hallway.

50:24

You guys learned sex education because he's already taught us

50:26

everything we need to know. But

50:29

you showed us twisters. Boys go

50:31

through a dinosaur phase and girls go through

50:33

a twister. Yeah, I mean look, you take

50:36

one look at Ville Paxton, you

50:38

come out changed. I

50:42

didn't love Jurassic Park. I

50:45

was not dinosaur crazy anymore when

50:47

that came out. Right. And

50:50

then I watched it this

50:52

time and I gotta tell my 12 year

50:54

old self, I was wrong. It's so good.

50:56

It rules. It was a great movie. And

50:59

it was the introduction of the Ford Explorer. Really?

51:01

Yep, it was. It was like sponsored

51:04

by Ford. Like

51:06

here's our new car. Put it in the

51:08

movie. Do you mind if we

51:10

completely trash it? Yeah. But

51:12

you know what parts of it hold up pretty well? What

51:15

isn't like the windshield that they hold

51:17

that between the dinosaur and their feet?

51:20

Pushing up the windshield. That's a lot

51:22

about the quality of the car. And the but like I so.

51:28

My wedding song. Yeah, that's right. Was

51:30

it really? Yeah. Was

51:33

this coming from a guy who didn't wasn't sure he

51:35

liked the movie? Yeah, I just like that soundtrack. Did

51:38

you walk slowly to it? It

51:40

was sort of like the. Did you

51:42

dance to this or you came down the aisle? No,

51:45

this was like the introducing for the first time

51:47

ever. So you had to walk slow. Did

51:50

you rumble? Did you open up? Did they rumble? There

51:52

was a little rumble. Everyone kind of jiggled the water

51:54

in their glass. You

51:56

know how they did that? They

51:59

ran a good. string

52:01

underneath where

52:03

the water was and they plucked it and it made

52:05

the perfect rumble. I love

52:08

practical effects. I know, I know. I mean, it's

52:10

just the way it's gotta go. And

52:12

so, we're living in this

52:14

algorithm, I'll tell you. So,

52:20

show them that. Yeah. The first hour

52:22

is so much set up. Yeah.

52:25

Yeah. And then it was like... Once you get to

52:27

that park, though. Yeah, you get to the park and

52:29

you see them and they're like, okay, they have diarrhea.

52:34

They're just like us. Yeah. And

52:37

like, Wayne Knight is there and like,

52:39

don't worry about that. Yeah, yeah. Oh,

52:41

yeah. Yeah. Here's a question for the

52:43

most recent viewer. Did the kids... Did

52:46

they turn out to be adult famous? One

52:48

of them is The Boy. I

52:51

think he was in the Freddie

52:53

Mercury movie. He plays the bass player. Oh,

52:57

okay. Would never have clocked that. Yeah, he's in

52:59

a couple things. I don't think the girl is

53:01

in anything. Although, I don't know. But

53:04

they're not... It's not like, oh, yeah, she turned

53:06

out to be Meryl Streep. But

53:08

it's not... She has to start somewhere. And Bill

53:10

Paxton is no longer with us. And Bill Paxton

53:12

was never in it. He wasn't?

53:15

No, that's Wister. Oh, I mean, who am

53:17

I thinking of as the guy then who's

53:19

our main... Bamb Neal? Bamb Neal.

53:21

Did he die? No. No, he's... And

53:24

Laura Dern. And Jeff Goldblum.

53:28

Richard Attenborough, David Attenborough. David

53:30

Attenborough and Wayne Knight. And

53:32

Wayne Knight. Wayne Knight's scene. I

53:34

didn't know when I was getting how funny it was, where he's at

53:37

the eating with the guy who's

53:39

gonna get the embryo. He's

53:41

like, oh, shut up. And he's like, hey,

53:43

everybody. See, nobody cares. Nobody cares. Hey, everybody,

53:46

good to steal the thing. Nobody cares. And...

53:48

Who played T. Rex? L. Jackson was in

53:51

it as well. Who played T. Rex? Who

53:53

played T. Rex? That was a young Tobey

53:56

McQuire. This was also...

54:00

That movie inspired the

54:02

naming of the Toronto Raptors. Yeah, true.

54:05

Like it was like, what's the most popular

54:07

thing right now? Jurassic Park. What's

54:09

your name or basketball name? The

54:11

Raptors. The Raptors. Wait, are the

54:13

Anaheim Mighty Ducks already named as an idea? Okay. So

54:16

we gotta use that. Yeah. We're

54:18

gonna be the Toronto Cool Running. Which

54:22

is my son's favorite movie by the way. Is it? Yeah.

54:26

Watched it about 17,000 times. Parts of it anyway. Who's

54:28

his favorite part? He's

54:31

Senka, who's the brakeman. Yeah. He's

54:34

a very funny guy. Very funny. It's

54:37

just, we track all the action parts.

54:39

Yeah. And there's a Calgary, he likes the

54:41

Calgary part of it too. Yeah. But

54:43

John Candy's coach. Absolutely. John

54:45

Candy is just known as coach to

54:47

him. Sorry. Every time he

54:49

sees John Candy's face, he's coach. Are you, did

54:52

you feel any pressure this Christmas to get him a bobsled?

54:55

We played a lot of bobsled. We pretended to

54:57

bobsled. Oh, a bath is often

54:59

a bobsled. Oh, have you done that thing where you

55:02

put him in a laundry basket and show a bobsled

55:04

run? Roll down the stairs? You

55:06

show a bobsled run on YouTube and then you move

55:09

the laundry basket. Oh, that'd be fun. Dave, this has

55:11

not happened, but it's happening. Yeah. Great

55:13

call. Yeah. But we

55:15

only watched parts of it, but you know,

55:17

we skipped the, you skipped the boring parts.

55:19

What about the scene where they arrive at

55:21

the Calgary airport and they walk out so cold and they

55:24

have to put on all the clothes that they brought with them? Dougie

55:26

Doug, where's his bag to? They

55:29

use real footage at the end too

55:31

to show the tragedy. Not

55:35

a tragedy, but they crash. They

55:38

don't make it, but they walk across. Okay.

55:41

Yeah. There's a beautiful slow clap in

55:43

this at the end. I

55:47

was there the day they filmed not that

55:49

one, but like it

55:51

was extras and it was abandoned the

55:53

track and everybody, whoa, all that. You

55:55

were an extra in it? Yeah. Well,

55:58

not, can I see you in it? No. No,

56:00

but it was at COP. Yeah. And it

56:02

was, I was snowboarding that day

56:04

and you just go. And they were like,

56:06

they're filming right now. Yeah, get in there.

56:09

Amazing. Yeah. How about Eddie the Eagle,

56:11

you see that? I did actually

56:13

watch that. You know what? It's

56:15

fine. Yeah. That was a big

56:17

underdog Olympics. It was. I think it

56:19

was the last underdog Olympics for some reason. There's

56:22

no more underdogs? No. Everyone's just a

56:25

good at Olympic. Yeah. Everybody was assured that. No,

56:27

they don't let in just nobody's

56:29

now. I think after. They

56:32

don't let in nobody. No,

56:34

you're right. They don't. They let

56:36

in people who are good at it. The premise of cool

56:39

runnings, like I said, we've skipped a

56:41

lot of parts. I've literally watched this

56:44

100 times in the

56:46

last two months. I have never

56:48

seen the setup as to why Jamaica gets a

56:50

team. I can't tell you. Oh,

56:53

yeah. There's just a team of John Candy in

56:55

a bar in Jamaica. His life is like falling

56:57

apart. He's a former guy. He's

56:59

just like drinking in a bar. And

57:01

then he gets the idea somehow. And

57:04

then they get trapped. It's sort of like

57:06

the producers. What if I made a, you could make

57:08

more money with a bad bobsled team. It's

57:12

also, don't they rig up something that

57:14

can be on the dirt? Yeah, they

57:16

practice with

57:19

basically a go-kart. Yeah. Yeah. But

57:21

I don't know why. But I don't know

57:23

why I've missed that part of the movie

57:25

the last two or three times I've watched

57:27

it. There's that new soccer movie that's the

57:29

same kind of premise, right? You're in your

57:31

game next. Yeah, next goal wins. Yeah. And

57:33

is that, but you're still at

57:35

Underdogs in soccer? In soccer,

57:37

you're allowed not the Olympic. Oh, OK. Yeah, because

57:39

there are a lot of soccer teams, especially

57:42

the UK, that suck. That are just like

57:44

the town loves them. Their

57:47

towns pride and joy, but they stink and

57:49

they never win. Oh, yeah. There's that Rexham.

57:51

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And Dr. Solo or whatever

57:53

it's called. Yeah, Dr. Solo. Dead

57:56

laughing. OK. So

58:01

we watched that, it's great, it's a

58:03

monster movie, then it's a slasher movie,

58:05

it's great. It rules. What's your

58:07

favorite part? The slasher part

58:09

with the clever girls chasing

58:11

them around. Yeah, that rules.

58:14

Running at her and then oh, it just lands into

58:16

a mirror or whatever. It was just a reflection. And

58:21

then so I watched, I was like,

58:23

oh, if you like kind of like

58:25

big action movies, here's one that I

58:27

fell asleep during. But

58:29

I'm sure it's good, everyone says it's so good.

58:32

We watched the original Pirates of the

58:34

Caribbean. Oh yeah, Pirates of the Caribbean.

58:36

I don't remember loving it, but I

58:38

do remember thinking Johnny Depp's onto something.

58:40

And I watched it and I was like,

58:42

oh, this is, I understand this is good,

58:44

but I hate it. I

58:47

hate everything about this movie. I couldn't tell you

58:49

why. Like there's nothing wrong with it. I just

58:51

don't want to be here. I don't want to be on a

58:53

boat with these people. It was,

58:56

I don't remember it at all, but

58:58

it was, that was a decade worth

59:00

of billions of dollars of money making

59:02

that thing. And I feel like it was

59:04

the turning point for movies that they all

59:06

became, they all now need to have like

59:08

an extra half hour. Yeah,

59:11

it was also I think the turning point

59:14

for anybody that was doing costumes in

59:16

front of a man's Chinese theater. All

59:18

of a sudden there was 10 Jacksparks. I

59:21

feel like everybody raced out on the Jacksparks. What do you

59:23

think is the latest version of that? Who's

59:25

the latest costume? Barbie? Probably.

59:27

Oh yeah, probably. Feel

59:30

like there's a fandom down there. I feel

59:32

like if you, the Barbies on Hollywood

59:34

Boulevard would be kind of like extra

59:36

like, oh, you're not, this

59:39

is, you're not Barbie. Yeah, you're not. I'm not

59:41

going to take my picture. You're

59:44

not. There was, when I was there last,

59:48

it was, there was a big

59:50

protest about the, or

59:52

whatever, Roe versus Wade, the big protest.

59:55

And you were on the side of the, the.

59:58

I was just there, I was just there to enjoy the show. But

1:00:01

there was a Freddy Krueger that got

1:00:03

swept up in the march and didn't

1:00:05

seem to know how to get back

1:00:07

out of it. See, even Freddy supported

1:00:09

this. Well,

1:00:13

just one point of order. Do

1:00:17

you know what might be an interesting, if

1:00:19

you're on this action movie, kick

1:00:22

on the futon? Which

1:00:24

I think was, and I

1:00:26

haven't seen it in a long time, but it's kind

1:00:28

of a perfect movie. It's national treasure. Oh, that's a good

1:00:31

one. You know, I'm already behind that. Yeah,

1:00:34

they try to get the Declaration of

1:00:36

Independence. He's got to steal it back. Is

1:00:39

it kind of a map on the back?

1:00:41

It was Jerry Bruckheimer who lost

1:00:44

a bidding war for

1:00:46

the DaVinci Code. Oh, so he just

1:00:48

made it up? Yeah, he's

1:00:50

like, we'll just make this. It's like the DaVinci Code.

1:00:52

I like that. I like that's a

1:00:54

can-do attitude. Yeah, but if you give it a go, I'd like

1:00:56

your review. I mean,

1:00:58

I think we've shown them a

1:01:00

bit of Indiana Jones, and I

1:01:02

think like... Someday. A couple

1:01:05

of those would scratch that itch. Yeah.

1:01:08

I feel like the quality of the

1:01:10

original ones would just bore kids. Yeah,

1:01:12

I worry about that. You're like, this

1:01:14

just looks like an old movie. Yeah,

1:01:16

that's true. But you don't have that

1:01:18

giant ball to roll. Guitar

1:01:20

string. What

1:01:23

note were they playing? B-flat. That was the

1:01:25

brown note. Oh, fine. Anyway, so we're going through

1:01:27

the classics. I'm

1:01:32

trying to think of one that would be good in that

1:01:34

category as well. I would say

1:01:37

down the road, Back to the Future is a fun one,

1:01:39

but not in the same... I wonder if there's too much

1:01:41

like... There might be too much sex stuff. No,

1:01:43

I just mean like the context of it. Too much

1:01:45

old-time rock and roll. Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:49

Can I share with you my list? Mm-hmm.

1:01:53

Oh, you know what would be good? Harry

1:01:55

and the Hendersons. That movie, just

1:01:57

watched it recently. Still funny. That's it?

1:02:00

John list go it's hilarious. Oh, we were

1:02:02

so we've been through recently

1:02:06

13 going other Jurassic Park dumb

1:02:08

and dumber. Oh, yeah with

1:02:10

minus a few scenes and Reaction

1:02:13

reaction good good positive. I think

1:02:15

we finished it though. Mrs.

1:02:18

Doubtfire Killing

1:02:20

it rule of rock. Oh, yeah princess bride or

1:02:22

act no phobia Oh, yeah, I'm so say business

1:02:24

ride shit. Good one. Yeah, and then the ones

1:02:26

that are on the list bill and Ted Yeah,

1:02:29

love it That's another one where I'm like do

1:02:31

we do they need to know about history here

1:02:33

to they learn it through bill I think they

1:02:35

learn it through that's how I found out about

1:02:39

Napoleon was speaking of

1:02:41

Napoleon dynamite. Yes. Yeah,

1:02:44

there's something I'm gonna be boring. I think

1:02:46

Napoleon dynamite will be boring Yeah, I think

1:02:48

it'll be even for you. You're gonna

1:02:50

be like this was yeah What I

1:02:53

thought it was princess bride though that that nails it

1:02:55

that's not the best of all I don't There's

1:02:59

I'm not of the generation that is in love with hook

1:03:02

Me neither. Well, but I wonder if that

1:03:04

would be a thing. Yeah One

1:03:11

I was I thought rat race would be a good

1:03:13

one. I never saw it. I never saw it I

1:03:16

looked it up and there's dead poets society. It's not

1:03:18

appropriate. Yeah, if you're only gonna pick one

1:03:21

Robin Williams go if that yeah both

1:03:23

or awakening. Yeah, my kids really wanted

1:03:25

to see one hour photo one hour

1:03:27

photo I just watch that. Yeah. Yeah

1:03:30

and creepy it is creepy,

1:03:32

but it's so you couldn't show

1:03:34

that to anybody Who was born beyond

1:03:37

like? 1990

1:03:39

as it's the whole premise of developing film yet

1:03:41

You're getting filmed of Ellen that this is these

1:03:44

people know so much about us. We

1:03:46

trust these people with our film Yeah,

1:03:48

they filmed that in like yellow knife

1:03:50

too, right? Isn't there a lesson insomnia?

1:03:53

Where the Sun doesn't but Robin

1:03:55

Williams. Yeah, it was this it came out

1:03:57

the same year Rob Williams playing too bad guys, right one

1:04:00

time the other one hour and i was the idea

1:04:02

was that he just lived in where the sun didn't

1:04:04

go down. They couldn't sleep

1:04:06

away crazy that al Pacino goes

1:04:08

crazy interesting problems never saw

1:04:10

this it's good it's a christopher no

1:04:13

one is it now it's good most

1:04:15

memento. I want our photos

1:04:17

good but it's literally stuck in amber like

1:04:19

you couldn't describe second amber have i told

1:04:22

you that i showed my

1:04:24

kids to rest of her. Graham

1:04:26

what's up i'm.

1:04:29

I'm trying to get my routine as a

1:04:32

traveler for i was in calgary alberta flying

1:04:34

here to bank or high school to. That's

1:04:37

your business between me and the champ

1:04:39

i. I

1:04:43

got my packing down to a

1:04:45

site okay sweet science

1:04:48

one time i was going through security couple

1:04:50

of trips ago and i got

1:04:52

pulled over to do the you know the

1:04:54

bomb sweeten and the security

1:04:57

agent of the exactly one of those

1:04:59

little. I

1:05:02

was holding up my glasses cleaner exactly

1:05:04

what it is. And

1:05:07

she saw how i packed and she said

1:05:09

a plus packing so to me that's

1:05:11

coming from somebody sees a lot of

1:05:13

packing jobs. She said i'm

1:05:16

in the top tier wow a plus

1:05:18

what what you do sir a really

1:05:20

tight folder you don't know everything has

1:05:22

a place yeah there's that's like a

1:05:25

comedian me you've been traveling

1:05:27

you travel a lot. And i'm going

1:05:29

everywhere man you've been everywhere i've been

1:05:31

to medicine had red do you got

1:05:33

your you got a mic and in

1:05:35

there you've got your mic yeah your

1:05:37

blazer you've got your white

1:05:40

sneakers your cards your cue cards you

1:05:42

got your prop box. Your

1:05:45

brick wall yeah we're all

1:05:47

yeah that i folded perfectly

1:05:50

well congratulations thank you that's

1:05:52

also makes me i feel

1:05:54

embarrassed for the people who

1:05:56

do that job who

1:05:59

have to come across. uncomfortable

1:06:01

stuff. How they deal with it.

1:06:03

I couldn't do it. I'm

1:06:07

remembering there's a video of a guy opening up

1:06:09

a bag, like a

1:06:11

security guy, opening up a bag of sex toys.

1:06:13

Yes, yeah. Like I couldn't do it, just

1:06:16

my nature would not allow me

1:06:18

to do that job. To be the one who's down in

1:06:21

front of a stranger and be like, I'm going to open

1:06:23

your stuff. And I'm going to look at it. There's

1:06:26

some guys that get off on it, I think probably. But

1:06:29

the woman that was at the security when I was

1:06:31

flying for Calgary, she was having

1:06:34

the best day of her life. She

1:06:36

was smiling at everybody. Nobody

1:06:39

likes going through security, it's no fun. She was

1:06:41

making it fun. She was making

1:06:43

comments to people that they walked through. And

1:06:47

I went through the after, she didn't put

1:06:49

me through it. She wanted

1:06:51

to get a good look at your phone. And

1:06:55

yeah, you should go to the doctor. It looks like there's a little

1:06:57

cavity in there. 15 year bones. But

1:07:03

yeah, on the other side of the x-ray machine, she said I

1:07:05

have to open it up. And I

1:07:07

just brought some snacks home for my mom. Sent

1:07:10

me off with some snacks. So

1:07:12

these were homemade things. These are homemade things. Now

1:07:14

in the past, she's given you chili. Chili, yeah.

1:07:17

That did not make it through. But was, they

1:07:19

found the chili. And then the one

1:07:22

guy called over his supervisor, and then that supervisor

1:07:24

called over their supervisor. There was a discussion. Well,

1:07:26

they were like, is it a solid or liquid?

1:07:28

And they finally decided on that it was a

1:07:30

liquid. So these three guys in Calgary?

1:07:32

Yeah. Three agents. Have

1:07:35

decided for all of humanity that chili is a

1:07:37

liquid. Chili is a liquid, yeah. So that's on

1:07:39

a soup. It's on the soup scale. Yeah.

1:07:42

Because it can fill the container. But also

1:07:44

sand can fill a container. That's not a

1:07:46

liquid. Anyways,

1:07:48

she... I could put a brick in a

1:07:50

container. I couldn't call it a liquid. Yeah.

1:07:53

Oh, yeah. We didn't talk about the side of our mouth the

1:07:55

whole time. Yeah. Yeah. See?

1:07:59

Yeah. But they put it through

1:08:01

she had to open the bag and

1:08:03

that was a little apple pie She

1:08:05

pulled out of the bag apple pie yells at

1:08:08

the guy apple pie like they were discussing earlier

1:08:10

like yeah What it

1:08:12

was or that he was like I bet you see an

1:08:14

apple pie today. Mm-hmm What

1:08:16

do you do you think that's what it was or do

1:08:18

you think they had discussed what it could possibly be? I

1:08:20

think She I mean, I

1:08:22

think she had an idea of what it

1:08:24

was. This is probably in the holidays. This

1:08:26

was after the holidays So they're probably seeing

1:08:28

a few leftovers. This is what I'm saying.

1:08:30

Yeah, right. Maybe they had Maybe

1:08:33

in the break room. There's like a full chart

1:08:35

of like they're filling out. They're like Are

1:08:40

we gonna see like 19 apple pies

1:08:42

today so like she I might have been

1:08:44

number 19. Yeah. Yeah number came up like

1:08:47

This guy bringing an apple pie I didn't have

1:08:49

that on my 2024 bingo card.

1:08:52

Oh wait, I did I

1:08:55

keep that working like once brought

1:08:58

From Saskatoon brought to Saskatoon berry

1:09:00

pies. Yeah back and it was

1:09:03

every day was my whole I Had

1:09:06

to look up. Did these counters liquid because they're filled

1:09:08

with goo And

1:09:10

I had to it was my whole flight

1:09:12

was just trying to keep them from they

1:09:14

like fell those in the airport They're pretty

1:09:16

pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't get

1:09:18

mine at the airport. It's the greatest berry on earth.

1:09:20

Yeah I think every

1:09:22

race based on your recommendation. They need

1:09:25

to be Pied

1:09:28

or or jammed jammed

1:09:30

or what about a wine who

1:09:32

or syrup? Yeah syrup. Okay. Yeah

1:09:34

Let's get to very wine But

1:09:38

yeah I'm

1:09:40

a I'm a fan. I like them a lot to

1:09:43

me raspberries always gonna be the king

1:09:45

of berries, but sure Yeah, you know

1:09:48

Blue blue pineapples are technically

1:09:50

berries. I think yeah no and an

1:09:52

upside-down pineapple. We all know what that

1:09:54

means Exactly,

1:09:57

yeah. Oh wait that's

1:10:01

a sweetie player I just heard me you

1:10:03

know I was hanging in her final pineapple

1:10:08

h amp I saw your

1:10:10

wife up fucking a pineapple

1:10:12

I said your wife fucking

1:10:16

a point it was a

1:10:19

McDonald's your

1:10:22

wife blowing grimace and I said

1:10:25

things that can be

1:10:27

not like non-mistake no double attention yeah so I'm really

1:10:39

working on my baggy skills the other thing I wanted

1:10:41

how is it high I was delicious

1:10:44

but very funny share it with your wife

1:10:46

nope oh wow I

1:10:49

offered mm-hmm turn it down and so I

1:10:51

ate it ever since I've been your wife

1:10:53

I says part you're turning

1:10:58

down an apple and she says

1:11:01

I do and I said part

1:11:04

ever since

1:11:06

I've been

1:11:08

your wife

1:11:11

but traveling wise my ideal situation

1:11:14

is to go through security walk

1:11:17

either straight to a place

1:11:19

where I can grab a drink and have a drink and then immediately

1:11:22

like land the exact second

1:11:24

that I was born yeah yeah like

1:11:26

not not last boarding but just like

1:11:29

to hit that exact moment where things

1:11:31

are moving yeah you know categories

1:11:33

are getting numbers is where there was what zone are

1:11:37

you any typically last well mostly zone three but

1:11:39

last time zone two yeah I'm usually done to

1:11:41

yeah it's on two rules I don't understand how

1:11:44

you sometimes get a good seat but bad zone

1:11:47

I don't know even like a

1:11:49

purchased seat sometimes yeah like you're

1:11:51

like yeah I found

1:11:53

that word I don't know if I'm getting

1:11:55

done too because I'm traveling with kids or

1:11:57

because I have some kind of Point

1:12:00

status. I think I was

1:12:02

two because I had a point status, but mostly I've

1:12:05

been three sometimes I've been five and it's like why

1:12:07

even bother showing up for the flight? I don't carry

1:12:09

on at all. Yeah the Pre-sort

1:12:11

of heightened security, which is a long

1:12:13

time ago now feels but there

1:12:15

used to be a real ability to

1:12:18

just game it So you'd like get

1:12:20

out of the cab or get off the

1:12:22

train walk into the airport check in walk

1:12:24

onto the plane Yeah, I use the log

1:12:27

in the airport by your ticket. Yeah Hmm

1:12:32

Yeah, I'm trying to get it down and

1:12:34

walk on the plane. Yeah, this trip was

1:12:36

pretty close I had a drink and

1:12:38

I got get the bill right away. That's another mmm

1:12:41

You get the beer you get the bill you pay for

1:12:43

it so you can what time is it? What time of

1:12:45

day you're drinking this airport? This is like 4 or 5

1:12:47

p.m. Oh sure happy hour Yeah,

1:12:50

exactly a nice airport beer some

1:12:52

people I was in an airport in

1:12:56

California recently and it was like

1:12:59

845 a.m. Yeah several beers not

1:13:01

me But I'm oh yeah, but

1:13:03

I'm just like always amazed people.

1:13:06

They're on different time zone It might be four

1:13:08

o'clock in their body. Yeah, I

1:13:10

gotta get drunk before calling my body But

1:13:15

yeah the but

1:13:17

the Beer doesn't have a

1:13:20

time zone in an airport No,

1:13:22

you're actually careful with drinking before

1:13:24

going on a flight because the

1:13:27

bathroom conundrum. Yeah, unbelievable place Yeah,

1:13:29

so you one beer fine

1:13:31

two beers. You're out of your head.

1:13:33

You got it. You're gonna be squirming

1:13:35

in that seat Yeah, waiting for that

1:13:37

seatbelt sign. Yeah. Yeah, and then climbing

1:13:40

over whatever you squirm in in German

1:13:42

if you're flying to Germany Also,

1:13:45

the guy who is the flight attendant is

1:13:47

one is by far the biggest

1:13:49

flight attendant ever seen like Oh, baby

1:13:52

easily six to like, you know, the

1:13:54

top of the the aisle was like

1:13:56

basically touching his head and wide like

1:13:58

a linebacker Wow Oh, yeah. He

1:14:01

was nimble. Oh, he could. Not in

1:14:03

a profession you think he would go

1:14:05

for right away. No, like what am I naturally

1:14:08

suited for being inside of an airplane? Yeah. And

1:14:10

he comes to my seat, he says, you want a sack of

1:14:12

penis? I said, hard

1:14:15

word. You want a sack of my

1:14:17

penis? I

1:14:20

says, what do you, I'm asking you if you

1:14:22

want a sack of my penis? No.

1:14:25

No. No. No.

1:14:27

No. I didn't

1:14:29

lose it. What happened?

1:14:33

Come on, one more airplane, one, please.

1:14:35

Somebody do it. Oh,

1:14:39

boy. Fight it, then, guys. I

1:14:47

just put my hand in your white pillow. I

1:14:50

said, spartan. I

1:14:53

just put my hand in your white

1:14:55

pillow. Why

1:14:57

would a flight attendant say

1:14:59

that? Yeah. Excuse

1:15:02

me, sir. I just put my hand between your white pillow. What?

1:15:05

What? What? You

1:15:07

would, but you'd be like, why

1:15:09

are you putting your hand between

1:15:12

my white pillows? And why does

1:15:14

she have two? I tell her every time, we're

1:15:16

only traveling with one pillow. You don't

1:15:18

need two. That's a pain for that second pillow. I've got

1:15:20

to pay for that other pillow. You know what's going to

1:15:22

happen? Somebody's going to put their hand between them. I'm

1:15:26

going to lose it. So

1:15:28

the airplane crashed, and they're still trying

1:15:31

to retrieve your wife's black box. I'm

1:15:33

sorry. My

1:15:35

wife's black box? Ever

1:15:40

since I've been a child, ever since I've

1:15:43

been my wife. My

1:15:47

brother and I have been saying for

1:15:49

probably 30 years now, care

1:15:51

for a candy? Because a

1:15:53

flight attendant once said that to us.

1:15:56

When we were kids. Care for a candy? Yeah,

1:15:58

do you ever wonder? if something you've

1:16:01

said in public has been in a

1:16:03

catchphrase or a roaming bit the other

1:16:05

time. One time we went, I

1:16:07

guess I was in, it was 1990, I was nine years old, we were in New York

1:16:11

walking through a department store and a woman

1:16:14

working there said to me and my dad,

1:16:16

would the young gentleman like a cookie? So

1:16:21

anytime I've been offered a cookie since, and

1:16:23

that person has no idea. No idea.

1:16:26

Yeah, they've helped shape a part of

1:16:28

your bond for years. But

1:16:31

I'll tell you, anytime anybody says anything

1:16:33

to the champ, they remember. Yeah.

1:16:36

Fucking, they lose it. Well,

1:16:39

do you guys, do you want to move on

1:16:41

to some overheards? Sure. Sure.

1:16:44

From the twisted minds that

1:16:46

brought you the adventure zone,

1:16:49

balance and amnesty and

1:16:51

graduation and either see and

1:16:53

steeple chase and ultra space

1:16:56

and all the other ones, the McElroy

1:16:58

brothers and dad are proud to reveal

1:17:00

bold vision for the future of actual

1:17:02

play podcasting. It's

1:17:05

um, it's called

1:17:07

the adventure zone versus Dracula.

1:17:09

Yeah, we're going to tell Dracula that. Well,

1:17:12

we're going to attend that we haven't recorded

1:17:14

all of it yet. We will attend to

1:17:16

kill Dracula's out. The Avengers zone versus Dracula.

1:17:18

Yes, a season I will be running using

1:17:21

the D&D fifth edition of rules set and there's

1:17:23

two episodes out for you to listen to right

1:17:25

now. We hope you will join us. Same

1:17:28

bat time, same bat channel. And that's

1:17:30

what I see what you did there. People

1:17:34

say not to judge a fish by its ability

1:17:36

to climb a tree. Which

1:17:38

is why here on just as you have us, we judge

1:17:41

them by so much more. We

1:17:43

rate animals out of 10 in the

1:17:45

categories of effectiveness, ingenuity and aesthetic, making

1:17:47

into consideration each animal's true

1:17:49

strengths, like a pigeon's ability to

1:17:52

tell a monon from a Picasso or a

1:17:54

polar bear's ability to play basketball.

1:17:57

Guest experts like biologists, entologists and more

1:17:59

join us. to share their unique

1:18:01

insight into the animal's world. Listen with

1:18:03

friends and family of all ages and

1:18:05

maximum sun got lit wherever you

1:18:07

get the sun. Overheard.

1:18:22

Overheard. The segment where, you know what?

1:18:24

We, or you, hear it. We

1:18:28

want to share it. We want to share in the fun

1:18:30

and the magic. And we always

1:18:32

like to start here on the podcast with

1:18:34

the guest. Pat, do you have an overheard?

1:18:36

I do. I'm always listening. And

1:18:40

so this was maybe a couple weeks

1:18:42

ago at the grocery store by my

1:18:44

house, which is a... This

1:18:49

guy, ever since he's been the champ. I

1:18:52

was thinking, did he overhear something?

1:18:54

I'm on my melons. Somebody

1:18:58

overheard somebody... Talking

1:19:01

like this. And

1:19:03

I went up to him and I was like, excuse me, are you the

1:19:05

champ? He says, pardon me. I

1:19:08

said, are you the champ? And he says, how's

1:19:10

this for me being the champ? How's this for

1:19:12

me being the champ? For you champ enough for

1:19:14

you? And he just

1:19:16

like signed an autograph and I was like, thanks, man.

1:19:18

Thanks, champ. But

1:19:21

yes, this grocery store by my house,

1:19:24

that's an independent grocery store. As you

1:19:26

can picture, it's quite

1:19:28

cluttered, narrow. Bodega

1:19:30

style? It's a little bit bigger

1:19:32

than that, but it's narrow aisles.

1:19:36

You got to learn it. You learn it. One

1:19:39

of the things you learn, and I think this

1:19:41

came from maybe the pandemic, but it's... You wait

1:19:44

in an aisle to go to the

1:19:47

checkout. They only have two often, but

1:19:49

one. This

1:19:51

particular day, just one lady. The lineup

1:19:54

is quite long. Yeah. I'm already in it. Probably

1:19:57

two or three people behind me. One

1:20:01

guy comes up, what happens is you

1:20:03

see a newbie, they kind of think

1:20:06

they're just going right to the thing and then they

1:20:08

turn their head around and they can see how long

1:20:10

and they often mutter some

1:20:13

phrase that makes them show

1:20:15

everybody how frustrated they are. Give you

1:20:17

how long this is. Oh my gosh.

1:20:19

Should have gone to a dependent grocery

1:20:21

store. So this guy, there was honestly

1:20:24

probably about six people, six people deep.

1:20:26

Grocery store, that's pretty deep. He

1:20:30

says to the person next in line who's front

1:20:32

to go next, hey,

1:20:35

can I just go ahead, I just have an onion.

1:20:38

This looks like a

1:20:40

chef or something, like he's just grabbing a quick thing to

1:20:42

go back to work at the restaurant. He's like, I just

1:20:44

got an onion. There's Jeff Hadd, but he sort of says

1:20:46

it to this person but all of us are a bit

1:20:48

incredulous by this. The person in front of the line goes,

1:20:50

I don't give a fuck. I don't give a

1:20:52

fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't

1:20:54

give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.

1:20:56

I don't give a fuck. To put

1:20:59

the onion back and leave the store. I love it,

1:21:01

I love it. I would've. Put it

1:21:03

to the place, yeah. I don't care if you just got

1:21:05

an onion. I never would've asked for the first place. I

1:21:07

don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Love it,

1:21:09

I love it. I love the attitude,

1:21:11

I love the payoff. The other day I was

1:21:13

at the Save on Foods on Main Street and

1:21:17

there's a notorious long

1:21:19

lines. No, there's never anyone working

1:21:23

the cashiers. And the lines were

1:21:25

so long I had to go out, I went up

1:21:27

and talked to another employee, being like, hey,

1:21:29

these lines are pretty long, right? Could you get another? And

1:21:33

they made an announcement, do we get more cashiers?

1:21:35

And I felt very proud of myself. No one

1:21:37

knew I'm the one who catalyzed this. Oh, nice.

1:21:39

It's kinda like you called into a radio station.

1:21:41

Yeah, kind of in a

1:21:43

lot of ways. Yeah, the

1:21:45

opening up the second till

1:21:47

is like big wave of

1:21:50

relief goes down the line up. And then there's

1:21:52

a little bit of like, well,

1:21:54

can I just go in there? Or do these people have to

1:21:56

go for a crack? I'm the one who alerted the authorities. If

1:21:59

I'm basically managing. this story. Can I

1:22:01

go first? I don't give a fuck. I don't

1:22:03

give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. You onion fuck.

1:22:07

Well, do I have an overheard you ask? Yes, do

1:22:09

you? Mine is, so

1:22:11

at my kids' school, before

1:22:14

Christmas, they had, the grade sevens did

1:22:16

like an entrepreneur fair. Okay. And so

1:22:18

they had a like a fundraising thing

1:22:20

where they made stuff to sell to

1:22:23

raise money for their classes. So they're

1:22:25

the entrepreneurs. The grade sevens are, yeah.

1:22:27

And so the whole school could come by and buy

1:22:31

like, they made handmade soaps.

1:22:33

They made like friendship bracelets.

1:22:36

There's some kids making soaps. That's pretty advanced.

1:22:38

Yeah. Well, they were part of some kind

1:22:40

of club wearable

1:22:43

tech. They were making, yeah,

1:22:45

they had wearable tech. They

1:22:47

had athleisure. Well,

1:22:50

they had three big things

1:22:52

that were the big hits were soap, friendship

1:22:55

bracelets and slime. Oh yeah. Great. That

1:22:57

homemade slime. Yeah. But then I was

1:22:59

at, I was picking my kids up

1:23:01

from school at the day

1:23:03

of this fair and the first girl

1:23:05

out of the school spot, like opened

1:23:08

the door, saw her mom and said,

1:23:10

mom, I got cat food. And

1:23:13

her mom goes, we don't

1:23:15

have a cat. Yeah, but it was

1:23:18

on sale. This guy is practically giving

1:23:20

him away. He's the Elon Musk of

1:23:22

cat food, this guy. But I also

1:23:25

was like, did all this stuff with

1:23:27

homemade, like the soap and stuff. Yeah.

1:23:29

They just like saved up leftovers over

1:23:32

time. I just grounded it. Yeah. Some tuna. What do

1:23:34

you think a kid's brain would consider

1:23:39

cat food to be? What

1:23:42

do you think? What do you think the angle

1:23:44

on this grown up idea

1:23:46

of cat food? I don't even know.

1:23:48

What do cats think cat food is?

1:23:50

I'm just going off of old cartoons

1:23:52

and it's, they love fish bones. Yeah.

1:23:55

I'm going off fancy feast commercials and

1:23:57

they love brown goo in a crystal

1:23:59

goblet. where they throw the treats

1:24:01

and they jump and it's like a catnip. Catnip

1:24:06

is like hot for cats.

1:24:08

What is it? Like a weed.

1:24:11

And it just makes them make

1:24:14

okrails for it. The one that I

1:24:16

just whipped that kid had. There's the

1:24:18

commercial with the guy throwing the... Yeah

1:24:20

those tasty, fantastic stuff. And then you

1:24:23

pull out and the guy's on the

1:24:25

second floor and the cat jumped into

1:24:27

the second floor for tasty, fantastic. Get

1:24:30

your hand off of tasty,

1:24:32

fantastic. He said,

1:24:35

I see your wife's got some

1:24:37

tasty, fantastic. I say, pardon? I

1:24:39

think your wife's got some tasty,

1:24:41

fantastic. I'm

1:24:46

so glad he's back. Yeah. Well I want

1:24:48

50... My 50... My...

1:24:51

My pussy goes nuts for tasty, fantastic.

1:24:53

I hear your wife's pussy goes nuts.

1:25:01

That's really good. Yeah, pretty good.

1:25:04

And it's also an ad for tasty, fantastic.

1:25:07

This is why... We've got

1:25:10

this cat food place by our

1:25:12

house called Dick's

1:25:15

Sausage. And

1:25:17

it's the best cat food. The

1:25:19

champ goes up to... I say, I

1:25:22

saw your wife

1:25:24

take her pussy to Dick's Sausage. That's

1:25:28

tasty, fantastic. I say,

1:25:31

pardon? That's so

1:25:33

many things. I really just needed one.

1:25:40

Slow down. Say it again. You

1:25:42

saw my wife's pussy. No,

1:25:44

that's enough I need. That's

1:25:46

all I need. You

1:25:48

tell me what's good. We got here... Okay, we're gonna do it.

1:25:50

And then pardon. We

1:25:53

don't need the whole sausage and

1:25:55

the head on the hat. I

1:25:58

mean, cats don't even have sausage. We all know it's a

1:26:00

fishbowl. You're fired. Hey,

1:26:05

you guys. Good for the soul.

1:26:08

What's up with you, overheard-wise? My

1:26:16

mother and a son, and

1:26:18

just hearing what they

1:26:20

said I can infer what had just

1:26:22

been said was the kid going, like, well,

1:26:24

it sounds a lot boring. So she had

1:26:27

just said, it's maybe a

1:26:29

little boring. No,

1:26:32

you know what, mom? It's

1:26:34

a lot boring. I like that

1:26:36

kid. Get out of

1:26:39

here, mom. You

1:26:41

suck. Everything you like sucks. Twister sucks. Twister

1:26:44

sucks. Twister

1:26:47

rules. But it is the

1:26:49

worst performance of Philip Seymour Hoffman's career. He's

1:26:52

his band guy. Is Jack Black

1:26:54

in it? No. Jack

1:26:58

Black started out as a band guy, though. He was

1:27:00

a band guy, yeah. In a

1:27:02

few things. No, I

1:27:04

think it's Phil's humor. Being

1:27:07

a Jack Black type. Yes. Does

1:27:11

he say I require sustenance? He might. Is

1:27:14

that from something? I

1:27:16

feel like that's from that. That character type

1:27:18

sort of pivoted into the tech guy. Yeah,

1:27:20

the hacker. Eye-rolling, sarcastic.

1:27:24

They started out as cameramen. Yeah. Then

1:27:28

became hackers. What are they now? Hackers.

1:27:32

They're still hackers. They're

1:27:34

manobots. Our

1:27:38

policy here at the podcast is that we would

1:27:40

like you to send in your overheard so that

1:27:43

we can enjoy them. You can send them into

1:27:45

sby at maximumfund.org. The first

1:27:47

one we got is from Tyler F. He's

1:27:50

at a bowling alley. And a kid about

1:27:52

to said bowling alley's just rich with overheads.

1:27:55

You go in there, you're coming out with a bumper crop. And

1:27:58

a bumper bowling. Bumper lane. Bumper...

1:28:00

Bumper... Bumper... Lanes? Bumper Lanes. Bumper

1:28:02

Lanes. Bumper... Bumper... Bumper... Alright,

1:28:06

good. Yeah. A

1:28:09

seven year old was really excited and running around.

1:28:11

His mom asked him to sit down multiple times

1:28:13

and finally says, Jaden, if you

1:28:15

don't calm down, you're going to lose your

1:28:17

KitchenAid privileges. I

1:28:19

wasn't listening. I was trying

1:28:21

to think of a bowling champ. No

1:28:25

more mixing for you, Jaden. I'm

1:28:28

talking the mixer. I'm talking the

1:28:30

whipper. I'm talking the... Pulsar.

1:28:33

What else do they have? Do they have like a

1:28:35

crockery? KitchenAid has

1:28:38

everything. Whatever you... Not

1:28:40

this kid. This guy. Waffle maker. Waffle

1:28:43

maker. She treats it as a privilege

1:28:45

to use the KitchenAid. So this must

1:28:47

be like a bit of a fancy

1:28:49

KitchenAid that they're wearing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:28:52

I think they're big like... They're mixers. The cake

1:28:54

mixers that come in all the beautiful colors. Yeah.

1:28:57

That's a privilege to use one of those. Yeah,

1:28:59

yeah, yeah. I would never be allowed as a

1:29:01

kid if we had one of those. Never be

1:29:03

allowed. Mostly if you didn't calm down. That's

1:29:05

right. If I'm all hyper. Yeah. Got a

1:29:07

bowling alley for growing up with. Were your parents...

1:29:09

Were your mothers, let's be honest. Big, hey, you

1:29:12

can lick the batter. And I said,

1:29:14

I heard. I licked

1:29:17

your wife and licked my batter. I was breaking

1:29:19

the cake. I was making the cake for the

1:29:21

baseball team. And

1:29:23

your wife came up and said, can I lick your batter? Go

1:29:27

away. And

1:29:29

she's burned. It's

1:29:33

just... At that one, it was just hard to figure

1:29:35

out who was saying what to who. I

1:29:38

said to him. Wait,

1:29:41

champ. You're saying stuff to people

1:29:43

now? Well, pardon me

1:29:45

for one thing. Champ, we got a

1:29:49

pitch for you. What

1:29:52

if you start saying things to people and they fight you?

1:29:54

You're fired. Pardon me. This

1:30:01

next one comes from Logan in the San

1:30:03

Francisco Bay Area. I was down in Monterey and

1:30:05

heard this from two guys passing by on the

1:30:08

street. Did you see the Zoltar machine

1:30:10

from big across the street? You can

1:30:12

ask to be big. You

1:30:15

can do it every one but you can ask them to be big.

1:30:17

Yeah. It's sort of a 13 going

1:30:19

out 30. Dave, there's a movie for you. No,

1:30:21

but it's the same premise as 13 going out

1:30:24

30. Yeah, but... It's just older and harder for

1:30:26

them to... They've

1:30:28

seen a keyboard that you play with your feet? Yeah,

1:30:31

that's true. And also doesn't he go

1:30:33

in a scary hotel at one point?

1:30:35

Yeah, yeah. But my children hate Robert

1:30:37

Loja. I understand that. They

1:30:40

can get that. What about the Money Pit?

1:30:43

Yeah, or the Burbs. These

1:30:45

are all... Oh, Funny Farm was that one?

1:30:48

Yeah, that was Chevy Chase. This

1:30:51

last one comes from Matt from Oakland, California.

1:30:54

I was a party recently and overheard two women

1:30:56

in their series talking about a Cypress Hill

1:30:58

concert they attended. One of the women

1:31:00

excitedly said, I was concerned about going into the

1:31:02

Mosh Pit, but after I did, I realized this

1:31:04

is such an age-appropriate Mosh Pit. Oh, good. Yeah.

1:31:08

It's funny that somebody's

1:31:11

parents would be going to a Cypress

1:31:13

Hill show now. Yeah. Yeah.

1:31:15

The Mosh Pit would be safe. It'd

1:31:17

be a safe place. Yeah, nobody's gone

1:31:19

into work on Monday with a fucking...

1:31:22

No. My

1:31:24

kids, they're parents went in Mosh

1:31:26

Pits. Yeah. But in my

1:31:28

generation, all the parents of the kids

1:31:30

in my class maybe did Hands on

1:31:32

a Hard Body. Maybe

1:31:34

did an all-night dance

1:31:37

competition. Maybe they shoot...

1:31:39

That's so fox-trotting. Yes, they shoot

1:31:42

horses, don't they? Yeah, they did

1:31:44

as many of them in a

1:31:46

phone booth as possible. Yeah. These

1:31:48

are the classics. A

1:31:51

champ, I saw your wife at a phone

1:31:53

booth. It's

1:31:55

lucky you didn't even say pardon that. What?

1:31:59

Say it again. What? It's like a...

1:32:01

I can't hear you. It's

1:32:04

like a Mr. Bean. You just give him

1:32:06

an environment and you're like, okay, I can come

1:32:08

up with a bunch of gags. Yeah. Oh, the

1:32:11

champ was at the zoo. At

1:32:13

the zoo. Oh, yeah. So... I saw

1:32:15

your wife slapping a chimp.

1:32:20

I went to the dog

1:32:23

show and your wife... Your

1:32:26

wife was quite a bitch. No,

1:32:28

wait. There's a lot

1:32:30

of bitch talk there. The little

1:32:32

setup that drive was like two minutes long to

1:32:34

go, can I put a little prick in your

1:32:37

mouth? Did you

1:32:39

hear the little gay joke he made at the

1:32:41

beginning, though? No. He said something about, like, I

1:32:43

believe in the... I started believing in the Tooth

1:32:45

Fairy when I saw the way my dentist was

1:32:47

walking. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's

1:32:50

not a surprise that... I think the

1:32:52

champ might be cancelled. Oh,

1:32:54

shit. Whoa. We

1:32:56

changed a little, Smirky. I

1:32:58

don't know. It is no words that are written

1:33:01

in. We also accept your phone calls. If you

1:33:03

want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

1:33:08

That's 1. Ugh. Spypod 1,

1:33:10

like these people have. Hello,

1:33:13

David and Graham. This is Annie from

1:33:15

Texas calling in with an overheard. I'm

1:33:18

a librarian at the local public library,

1:33:21

and I had a youngster

1:33:23

in today who was

1:33:27

asking me some questions, and I answered his

1:33:29

questions, and so he was going to put

1:33:31

his backpack back on so that he could

1:33:33

leave, and apparently it was very heavy,

1:33:35

and it kind of knocked him off of his balance,

1:33:37

and he said, oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit, as

1:33:39

he was kind of falling over. And then he kind

1:33:42

of remembered that I was sitting

1:33:44

here, and he said, oh, shit,

1:33:46

I didn't mean to say shit. I

1:33:50

said, it's OK, or something like

1:33:52

that, and he said, anyway,

1:33:54

have a good day. And then as

1:33:56

he was walking away, I heard him under his breath

1:33:58

saying, I.

1:34:03

Really want to let one hour tour and

1:34:05

very as does. Fly. Out of.

1:34:08

Adorable! how the loses good. How.

1:34:10

Home from scheduled holiday

1:34:12

and Jazeera abusing of

1:34:15

aggro on display a

1:34:17

certain cool runnings. Matter

1:34:20

No. Twelve Fourteen Thirty All the old enough

1:34:22

to know that he is self conscious enough

1:34:24

to know that he's got a swearing problem.

1:34:26

Yeah, Yeah. I mean he's He's frustrated

1:34:29

yourself on the way out. Sets.

1:34:32

The. My gonna clean this up

1:34:35

in a movie would be by

1:34:37

their hey I Hate Sam by

1:34:39

so you're whistle Ivers you. Use.

1:34:42

The Dewey Decimal System. But.

1:34:45

I tell me more. Us.

1:34:48

And. Our else

1:34:50

woodsy by a bus that his assessment

1:34:52

is just discussing the thing size. not

1:34:55

gonna say anything is like associates and

1:34:57

yeah we checked out the books and

1:34:59

you know got a couple for my

1:35:01

son and for myself over there. was

1:35:06

a hearty both wrists whose

1:35:08

whose me as. Much

1:35:11

emphasis This a novel Fred's double

1:35:13

hadn't read the I Called The

1:35:16

Wind Beneath my With or. As

1:35:19

you have a library in the

1:35:21

Us, say anything moving guys holding

1:35:24

owes. Us

1:35:29

and great job that there

1:35:31

was out. His

1:35:37

ex. Oh

1:35:39

come on, possible justice

1:35:41

is blind or even

1:35:43

within overheard. All.

1:35:46

Our a bar recently. super funny and

1:35:48

we were all I t. Happy

1:35:51

Gilmore. On I hate this. Elderly.

1:35:54

Man say to his neighbor.

1:35:56

On My Blood is this movie? Owned.

1:36:00

The neighbor went on to

1:36:02

explain who Adam Sandler was

1:36:04

in the whole deal and

1:36:06

eventually I overheard. Him. Say. Alleviate

1:36:10

another movie about this time

1:36:12

I think it was called

1:36:14

Billy Madison. Know for

1:36:16

a a minute. Medicine,

1:36:19

a cell phone so nicely go to sort

1:36:21

of ours is going to was happy gilmore.

1:36:26

Really good you teachers as brings is a

1:36:28

movie yeah I say everybody can. What? big.

1:36:31

Ah, Yeah. That would

1:36:33

translate wouldn't think so. Scary to

1:36:35

predict. What for the children? Yeah,

1:36:38

I. Know. It. Was cause maybe you're going

1:36:41

off of your own. Beer

1:36:43

The you are as. That.

1:36:45

A child or as the at. The

1:36:48

age when I wanted to learn that

1:36:50

the song they say yeah it's own.

1:36:52

No. Not until the like secret

1:36:55

handshake. But it's a song that

1:36:57

they say ah yes, I assume

1:36:59

it's yeah, yeah that I. How

1:37:01

does it resolves? Ah

1:37:04

funds the I always the premise for

1:37:06

what ambulance fact we. He goes back

1:37:08

to being a child. his own child

1:37:10

is himself. He goes back to his

1:37:12

mother Mercedes rule and his girlfriend as

1:37:14

an adult realizes he had sex with

1:37:16

a boy with a little boy. But.

1:37:19

Then when York and in Indiana turn back

1:37:21

and he's like I've learned something now Hub

1:37:23

about how to be a better adult. Like

1:37:25

what allows excel know he's he does. back

1:37:27

into it. it. Went.

1:37:30

Like he's there's he becomes an adult Man

1:37:32

goes back to be good at the and.

1:37:35

Oh. I see it's reverse of what I think.

1:37:38

Yeah, yeah, he was good. became an adult.

1:37:40

Had been beds in his apartment and right yeah,

1:37:42

video games. he wanted his go from one to

1:37:44

sleep over and he said. Yeah.

1:37:47

Yeah, you can get an iota bonus

1:37:49

rec. Defenseless.

1:37:51

It's ago. I guess they must have,

1:37:53

right? Party now, but then

1:37:55

move as. a toddler

1:37:57

that's and tucker Here's

1:38:02

your final phone call. Hi,

1:38:06

I'm calling with an

1:38:08

overheard. My name

1:38:10

is Emily and I live on Vancouver Island.

1:38:13

And earlier this morning I was

1:38:15

at Canadian Tire and

1:38:17

there was an old man working at

1:38:19

the door. And then

1:38:22

another old man came in and was talking to him

1:38:24

and he was saying, Yeah, I'm

1:38:26

in my 80th year of life, you know,

1:38:29

and everyone else in my family died

1:38:31

in their 80th year of life. So

1:38:33

it makes me think like, time to

1:38:36

die. And then the old

1:38:38

man who was working was like, Yeah,

1:38:40

well, I'm 82. Get over it. And

1:38:43

I thought that was funny. Look at

1:38:45

yourself with your 80, right? With your

1:38:47

onion. Oh, man. Well,

1:38:54

I was at Canadian Tire and the

1:38:57

guy that said, you know, what, you got a

1:38:59

hole in your rubber? Yeah, you're doing a lube

1:39:01

job? No, that's fine.

1:39:03

Don't worry about it. I can't even

1:39:05

get any rest. Champ. That's

1:39:08

fine. I'm fine. I

1:39:10

went through therapy. Yeah. Hey,

1:39:12

Champ, I had sex with your wife. Yeah. Yeah.

1:39:16

That's okay. As long as she's happy. Well,

1:39:21

that brings us to the end of this year podcast.

1:39:23

Pat, do we applaud? Oh, yeah, on

1:39:25

the way out. Okay. But you

1:39:27

and your comedy partner, Peter, will drink.

1:39:31

This is that live. Yes,

1:39:33

some version of, yes. JFL Vancouver.

1:39:37

That's right. On February something.

1:39:40

Something. Yeah. Would be a nice

1:39:42

gift for Valentine's Day if you're looking for a gift. It definitely

1:39:44

would. Yeah. Tickets go

1:39:46

out with your sweetie. And there are, you

1:39:48

don't have the dates in front of you,

1:39:51

or they're solidified, but will you be in

1:39:53

other cities as well? Yes,

1:39:55

we will. But

1:39:59

there's one in... Sydney, not Australia.

1:40:01

Okay. Sydney by the sea. Sydney by

1:40:03

the sea, which is before it's in

1:40:05

February as well. And then some

1:40:07

in Alberta coming up, I think at the, um, in

1:40:09

the market. Where can people stay to, where can they

1:40:11

find out this? Uh, they go the

1:40:14

internet, YouTube, I'd

1:40:16

assume. Um, yeah, probably, um,

1:40:18

well, JFL dot

1:40:20

com. Is that right? Yeah.

1:40:23

I think it's ha ha ha. Yeah.

1:40:25

Anyway, yeah. Well, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll let

1:40:27

the word out. Okay. Yeah. Everybody stay

1:40:30

tuned to something. Yeah. Do you have, is

1:40:32

there a Twitter account? Yeah. Uh, yeah. Well,

1:40:34

you could go to, this is that CBC,

1:40:36

this is that. I think it's CBC. This

1:40:38

is that. It's not even called that anymore.

1:40:41

On Twitter, on Twitter, it's CBC. This is

1:40:43

that. There you go. Let's just call it

1:40:45

air. Exactly. Yeah, you're right. Or you could

1:40:47

go to X. Yeah. And have the pack

1:40:49

Kelly. Okay. So there you

1:40:52

go. That's two, two places to learn what's going to

1:40:54

happen. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you for being

1:40:56

our guest. Thank you, Grant. This is so much fun. Thank

1:40:59

you everybody out there for listening to

1:41:01

the show. Be careful. What

1:41:03

type of a innuendo type talk you might

1:41:05

be talking out there in public. Cause you

1:41:08

never know when you're going to run into

1:41:10

the channel. Exactly. Come on back next week

1:41:12

for another episode of stop podcasting yourself. Thank

1:41:14

you, David. Now we clap. Maximum

1:41:41

fun, a worker owned network

1:41:43

of artists owned shows supported

1:41:45

directly by you.