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I Can't Be Controlled

I Can't Be Controlled

Released Tuesday, 5th September 2023
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I Can't Be Controlled

I Can't Be Controlled

I Can't Be Controlled

I Can't Be Controlled

Tuesday, 5th September 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Hello, besties! I'm Layla, and I'm

0:02

from India. Please like and subscribe

0:04

to SDA. I was born into a family

0:06

of accountants. And when I was just two years old,

0:09

Dad gave me my first calculator. This

0:11

is a calculator, Layla. If you want

0:13

to be a great accountant one day, you need

0:15

to start now. Of course I had no idea

0:17

what he was talking about. I was just two. Right

0:20

after he left the room, I threw the calculator

0:22

like a flying saucer. And when I was nine,

0:24

I finally realized what I wanted to be after

0:27

watching a space channel on Mom!

0:29

Dad!

0:29

I know what I want to be when I grow up! I

0:32

want to be an astronaut! Layla,

0:34

have you been watching nonsense again on your mother's

0:36

phone? Not nonsense, Dad. YouTube.

0:39

Enough! From now on, you will watch

0:41

educational programs with us. I wanted

0:43

to talk back, but back-chatting in my family

0:45

meant you were grounded for life. I sat

0:47

down and watched their boring accounting channel.

0:50

And then all of a sudden, my eyes started burning,

0:52

and everything became blurry. Mom!

0:54

My eyes are burning! Stop being dramatic,

0:57

Layla, and watch!

0:58

I'm not! I can't see! Mom!

1:01

Dad! Help!

1:02

I think she's telling the truth. We have to take her to

1:04

the hospital. Mom and Dad rushed me to the hospital.

1:07

I was diagnosed with radiation cataracts.

1:09

This was caused by too much light from a screen,

1:11

like a TV, phone, or computer. I

1:14

guess you can forget about being an astronaut now. Because

1:16

up there, you would have to see lots of light every day.

1:19

Why do you have to be so horrible, Dad? I'm

1:21

your child, and I have a sickness! Calm

1:23

down, Layla. Dad

1:24

was just joking. Well,

1:26

no one is laughing.

1:28

I was devastated about what was happening to

1:30

me. The doctor even said that in a few years,

1:32

I would need to have an operation, or else I would

1:34

be blind. But then my hope flourished again

1:37

when I saw a shooting star. I was

1:39

not going to give up. I continued to frustrate

1:41

my parents about my passion. When I was 15, I

1:44

made my own astronaut costume and wore it

1:46

for career day at school. As I walked in

1:48

confidence, some kids laughed, but that

1:50

didn't bother me. Until a douchebag with a huge

1:52

camera flashed the thing in my face, causing

1:55

me to lose my sight. And I walked into a locker.

1:57

Hey, are you

1:58

alright? I... I am... I was so sorry.

2:00

I was just admiring your costume and since

2:02

I'm a future photographer I- Quiet!

2:04

My eyes are still burning from your camera flash!

2:07

Oh no, I am so sorry. Please,

2:09

let me help you to class. My name is Shane. I'm

2:12

actually in your science class. I hate science,

2:14

but you're so brilliant and- Shane, I know who

2:16

you are, so please go. I'll be fine.

2:19

Are you sure? Your eyes are turning red and- Shane

2:21

was the class chatterbox. Everyone ran away

2:23

from him because he could never shut up. And now

2:26

because of this little incident, I seemed stuck

2:28

with him. He even followed me home after school.

2:31

Shane, what are you doing? I'm making sure you

2:33

get home safe. I'm a real gentleman. My

2:35

mother always told me to be polite, but my father,

2:37

well, he's never around. Always busy,

2:39

it is big accounting for him. I don't like accounting

2:41

and I- Okay, okay. I'm home now so

2:43

you can go. Before Shane could cycle off,

2:46

Dad's car pulled over and he got out looking

2:48

so mad.

2:49

Dad, why do you look so angry? I

2:51

just got fired! So yes, I am mad.

2:54

I'm sorry to hear that, sir. My dad owns a

2:56

company. Maybe I can talk to him for you? Layla,

2:58

who is this? Is he your boyfriend? Are

3:01

you bringing boyfriends home while we're at work? No.

3:03

Dad, how can you think that? No,

3:05

no, sir. I was just making sure your daughter is safe.

3:08

Which company does your father own? The biggest

3:10

accounting firm in the country, B&G, sir.

3:13

Your father is a crook! He just fired me

3:15

for a mistake he made! And he's been stealing

3:18

a lot of money from many people!

3:19

Oh, that's not true. I can- Get

3:21

out of here, you child of a thief! Shane

3:24

drove away and Dad warned me never to speak

3:26

to him again. I agreed, but things at home

3:28

after Dad lost his job were never the same. Mom

3:31

would come home from work and still clean, while

3:33

Dad just sat around all day watching TV. And

3:35

he was so grumpy, we couldn't even laugh

3:37

when he was around. And then one day, during

3:39

the early hours of the morning, I got up to drink a glass

3:41

of water and found Mom crying in the

3:43

kitchen as she looked at the bills. Mom,

3:46

are you okay? Layla, what

3:48

are you doing up?

3:49

I was thirsty. You're crying. I'm

3:52

just so tired. You might have to use

3:54

the money we saved up for your cataract operation

3:56

to pay these bills. It's okay, Mom.

3:58

I'm sure I won't go blind just-

3:59

Days later, I had to eat my words up because

4:02

my eyes were not doing so well, since I struggled

4:04

to see a single thing on the class board. When

4:07

I excused myself to the bathroom, I could hardly find my way. And

4:10

when I got to the bathroom, I got the shock of

4:12

my life when Shane suddenly screamed. Oh! Why

4:15

are you here? I'm here to use

4:17

the bathroom. Why are you here? Using

4:19

the bathroom? Wait, are the boys and girls

4:21

sharing the same bathroom now? I know you ladies

4:24

always fight for equal rights, but this would

4:26

be a little over the top.

4:27

I looked closer at the door sign, and my face

4:29

turned red with embarrassment. Oh my gosh,

4:31

Shane. I am so sorry. I didn't

4:34

read the sign right. It's OK. It happens.

4:37

I made a mistake like that twice before. My

4:39

excuse was my eye problem. I wondered what

4:42

his was. Let me go

4:44

before anyone else sees me. After my little

4:46

incident with Shane, he somehow assumed we

4:48

were friends and followed right behind me during

4:50

lunch break. I think the universe is trying

4:52

to say something to us. What do you think it's saying?

4:55

That we're meant to be friends. My dad specifically

4:57

told me to stay away from you, so

4:59

I don't think so. Wow. I should

5:02

try that too. Chocolate syrup and hot dog. Huh?

5:04

You put chocolate syrup all over your hot dog. I think I

5:07

should try that. Here, you can have

5:09

mine. Mm, this is so delicious.

5:12

Wow, what a discovery. Shane

5:14

was definitely a special kind of species, but

5:16

what troubled me the most was how bad my eyes were becoming,

5:19

because the next thing I did was walk into a wall. And

5:22

of course, Shane was there to catch me when I almost

5:24

fell backwards. You see, I told you the

5:26

universe was trying to bring us together.

5:27

No, leave me alone, Shane. When

5:29

I tried to get away from him, I walked

5:32

into another wall. But this time, I blacked

5:34

out. After some time, I opened

5:36

my eyes and everything was black. It was like

5:38

I was in a dark hole and couldn't get out, so I

5:41

started panicking.

5:42

Ah! Where am I? I can't

5:44

see! Layla,

5:45

calm down. You're in my car.

5:48

I can't see. It's

5:50

over. Oh. Oh. Oh.

5:53

I'm blind. What are you talking about? How

5:56

is this possible? I told Shane everything,

5:59

and he cradled me in his eye. arms as I cried my

6:01

eyes out. I'm here for you, and I'm going

6:03

to drive you to the hospital now. When I got to

6:05

the hospital, I was rushed to the emergency ward,

6:07

and I was so scared that Shane

6:09

was right by my side. Shane, what's

6:11

going on? The doctors are gonna make your

6:14

eyes better. But my parents don't have the money for

6:16

this. Don't worry, I got you.

6:18

After he said that, I dozed off, and I don't know

6:20

how long I was blacked out. When I woke up, I

6:23

still saw darkness, but after some seconds,

6:25

I saw Mom and Dad. Lyla! Oh

6:28

my baby, how do you feel? I can see!

6:29

I can see, Mom! Thank

6:32

God! Dad just looked at me sternly. Dad,

6:34

what's wrong? You disobeyed me. I

6:37

told you to stay away from that boy. But when we

6:39

got here, he was here. I had to chase

6:41

him away. You chased him away? He

6:43

saved my life! He saved your eyes,

6:46

not your life, and you will pay him every cent

6:48

back. We are not a charity case! Dad

6:50

walked away, and Mom never said anything

6:53

back as usual. Mom, why don't

6:55

you ever say anything back to him? Why do you always

6:57

leave to be so mean? I didn't want to start

6:59

a problem.

6:59

The most important thing right now is that

7:02

you are fine. When I was well enough to go back

7:04

to school, Shane was the first person I couldn't

7:06

wait to see. I didn't care what Dad said. I

7:09

was going to be his friend, and he loved

7:11

taking pictures of me. Oh, Lyla, you're

7:13

a natural. You should be a model or an actress.

7:16

I could, but I love space science. I

7:19

know it's a strange career choice, but it gets

7:21

me excited. Follow your dreams

7:23

no matter what. If it wasn't for your help,

7:25

Shane, my dreams would have been shattered.

7:28

Thank you so much. It was

7:29

good to have a friend like Shane who encouraged me, but

7:32

back home when I was in grade 12, I came home

7:34

and found Dad smiling for the first time

7:36

in ages. What happened? Did

7:38

you get a job? No, even better! This

7:41

is your acceptance letter to study accounting

7:43

at the best college in the country. You applied

7:45

for me? Yes, it's what we plan

7:47

for your future. But that's not what I want! You

7:50

know how passionate I am about space. Why

7:52

do you always ignore what I love? Lyla,

7:55

you are going to study accounting. This is what we

7:57

are good at. No, Dad, it's what you

7:59

are good at.

7:59

I applied to study space science and

8:02

that's what I'm good at then you will not live

8:04

under my roof You might as well start searching

8:06

for a new home in space fine I'll

8:08

definitely do that dad when

8:11

mom came home from work I cried on her shoulder

8:13

and asked her to speak to dad, but she was

8:15

being the typical submissive wife again Oh

8:18

Layla my baby just listen

8:20

to your father and all will be well What

8:23

are you not even gonna speak to him and tell

8:25

him that there is nothing wrong with being an incredible

8:27

scientist? We can't take risks like

8:29

that

8:29

on accounting is much safer

8:32

than that career. Please think about it I

8:34

was so mad But I had to calm down and

8:36

play nice at least until I completed my

8:38

grade 12 and when I eventually did graduate

8:41

I was so excited that I even forgot that my parents

8:43

were present and hugged Shane dad

8:45

wasted no time to attack Lila,

8:48

what are you doing with this boy? Come on

8:51

dad? It's our graduation. Everyone

8:53

is happy I told you I don't like

8:55

this boy, but I did nothing wrong to you,

8:57

sir And my father told me what really happened

8:59

you were stealing enough Layla. Let's

9:02

go. No, what is he talking about? You

9:04

told us that Shane's father was the crook dad

9:07

looked at me like I wasn't even his daughter at that

9:09

moment So I drew back but him he was

9:12

cold as a monster Layla, let's

9:14

just go. No, she's done with school

9:16

now. She can find her only in life I

9:18

couldn't believe how my parents walked away from me

9:20

like that I was hurt but I

9:22

had to stay strong Layla. I'm

9:24

so sorry. I didn't expect them just to leave

9:27

you That was a bit too

9:28

harsh. I looked at Shane and

9:30

I couldn't hold back my tears I had no

9:32

idea what I was going to do Oh Shane

9:35

What have I done? I have no money.

9:37

No job. No place to stay. My father

9:40

will never take me back I'll speak to my

9:42

dad for you to stay in the guest house your family

9:44

already helped with my eye operation I don't

9:46

want to be a burden. Hey, you could never

9:48

be a burden You're like my best friend in

9:50

the whole wide world hearing Shane say

9:53

that help ease my shattered heart from my parents

9:55

Shane's family offered me a nice space in their guest

9:57

house. It even had a balcony Shane

9:59

me a telescope to look at the stars as a motivation

10:02

for my career. And one evening, while

10:04

I was out gazing into the telescope, I accidentally

10:07

gazed into Shane's room. He was at his window,

10:09

with his shirt off, and oh boy was

10:11

I amazed! I had no idea how much

10:14

muscles he had. I was literally drooling.

10:17

To get my mind off this sudden attraction

10:19

I had for Shane, I decided to search for part-time

10:21

jobs. And then Shane entered, and I almost

10:24

spilled coffee all over the laptop.

10:26

Hey, what are you up to? Shane, you startled

10:28

me! I was just looking for a job. Why?

10:31

We have everything here. What about your

10:33

studies? I know, I should be happy that

10:35

I even have a scholarship, but I need to make

10:37

my own money. I don't feel right eating off

10:39

you and your parents. I told you, you don't

10:41

have to feel bad. I've got you. I

10:43

know Shane meant well, but I had a very big conscience

10:46

and got a job at a big toy store. I

10:48

had to dress up like different Disney characters every

10:51

day, and kids were always surrounding me. The

10:53

job was fun, until one day, this

10:55

one kid accidentally

10:56

blew a bubble into my eyes. AHHH!

10:59

My eyes! It burns! The

11:02

store owner quickly took me to the back room where

11:04

I managed to wash my eyes and cool down. It

11:06

brought back memories of when I went blind. That

11:09

was the most scariest time of my life. The

11:11

store owner allowed me to leave early, so I

11:13

called Shane. When he came to pick

11:15

me up, I felt so emotional and hugged him.

11:17

Hey, what happened? Nothing

11:19

big. I'm so grateful for you, Shane. He

11:22

kissed me on my forehead. My feelings for him

11:24

grew stronger, but I kept it to myself.

11:26

Every day after work, I had to get down to studies.

11:29

It wasn't easy studying during the evenings. Sleep

11:32

was always over me, but Shane would

11:34

come in with a nice cup of coffee, reminding

11:36

me to stay focused. Thank you so much.

11:38

How are your studies going? It's going okay,

11:41

but there are so many other photographers who

11:43

are better than me. Hey, look at me! You

11:45

are the best. Forget about what others can

11:47

do and always tell yourself that you are

11:50

the best. Thank you. I needed to hear

11:52

that. I was glad to be there to motivate him,

11:54

and I was even stunned at myself. My parents

11:56

letting me go actually made me stronger. I

11:59

scored the highest.

11:59

Just in my grades at university, I helped the

12:02

toy store make the most sales than ever before,

12:04

and a year later, I could finally afford

12:06

my own place plus continue with my studies.

12:09

I was so proud of myself, and so was Shane.

12:11

You inspire me, Layla. You are such a

12:13

strong person. I could have never

12:15

done it without you. I felt like we had a moment,

12:18

so I did the unthinkable. I kissed Shane,

12:20

and he pulled back. Layla, I can't.

12:23

Oh, I feel so embarrassed. I

12:25

thought- It's

12:27

not you. I'm gay. Oh,

12:29

wow. How come you never told me? I

12:31

never tell anyone, just scared of not being

12:33

accepted. I hugged Shane, showing him

12:35

that I love him just the way he is. After

12:37

Shane's big reveal, we would spend even more

12:40

time together, and then one day, I was surprised

12:42

with a new visitor. Dad? Your

12:44

mom is in hospital. Dad said mom fainted

12:46

at work. I wasn't surprised to see mom this

12:49

way. What surprised me was dad. He

12:51

actually looked so weak.

12:52

This is all my fault. I

12:54

put so much pressure on her. You're right,

12:57

Dad. You took mom for granted. She could

12:59

never be free around you, but yet you are supposed

13:01

to love her. Dad looked at me shocked, because

13:04

no one ever stood up to him. How can you

13:06

be so disrespectful? I'm being factual.

13:08

Change your ways, or else you'll be alone on this earth

13:11

with no one to love you. I left dad to think

13:13

about his actions. As for me, I still

13:15

continued in my independent journey, and

13:17

you know what? I made it. I started

13:20

living my dream, all because I never stopped

13:22

believing in me.

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