0:00

I went no contact, and

0:02

I got a slew of phone calls from

0:04

her, from different numbers, and

0:07

text messages, saying, hey

0:09

stranger. How are you?

0:26

I'm Jamie Bibby. And I'm Jake Depula.

0:28

On today's episode of Strictly Stock, we're

0:30

speaking with Abigail, who's stopped by a friend she

0:32

met when she was

0:33

thirteen. Adriel met the popular girl at

0:35

school and they were soon inseparable, but the

0:37

friend was obsessed with her Beverly Hills

0:39

lifestyle. Her

0:40

friend soon introduced Abigail to drugs and

0:42

alcohol. Along with cutting and self

0:44

harm. The relationship was toxic and

0:46

went downhill when Abigail was sexually abused,

0:48

body shamed, and emotionally

0:50

tormented. When

0:51

Abigail tried to pull away, her friend attempted

0:53

suicide, and she was put into mental

0:55

hospital.

0:56

After being released from the hospital, the girls

0:58

reconnected their friendship but then went separate

1:00

ways after high school.

1:01

Years later, Abigail stalked her reached out

1:03

again, but things went downhill quickly

1:05

when Abigail realized the girl was telling her

1:08

lies about her life When Abigail ended

1:10

the toxic friendship, the stocking started

1:12

back up. She's here today to talk about

1:14

devastating effects that stocking has had

1:16

on her life. Abiguel, thank you for joining

1:18

us today. Thank you. Tell

1:21

us about your life growing up. I

1:23

I grew up in a

1:26

family who are filled

1:28

with, like, storytelling

1:31

and art and and show

1:33

business. I was a baby of family.

1:36

And I wanted

1:38

to find out what I wanted

1:40

to do within the arts. And if that

1:42

was arts, But

1:45

mainly, it was to put it

1:47

short and sweet. It was more unpredictable,

1:51

exciting. I lived in RDs. I

1:53

lived all over California.

1:56

I lived in Beverly Hills. I grew up in Beverly

1:58

Hills. I'm in two mansions

2:00

in Beverly Hills, crazily

2:03

enough. It's but,

2:05

yeah, my my family was,

2:07

as I said, very artistic, and

2:09

I started to write streamplays

2:12

and acts I acted

2:14

in rounds five. He came just interested

2:17

in that and started writing

2:19

and directing and producing when

2:22

I turned about twenty one

2:24

and said before that

2:26

a lot of a lot of movies

2:29

and my mother and my mother passed way

2:31

when I would spell. And

2:33

she passed way in front of me and my sister

2:36

in the seventeenth time, like, I resolved

2:38

it. And That

2:40

was difficult. That's very difficult. Obviously,

2:43

anybody who's lost a parent who

2:46

understands. It's she

2:49

died of her asthma attack,

2:51

my heart failure. You might lose

2:53

soccer when you were very young. Tell us

2:55

about how you met her her

2:58

what she was like, what

3:01

the first meeting was.

3:04

I met her when I was

3:06

twelve, and she was the

3:08

most popular girl in a school

3:10

that was next to mine. I

3:12

didn't wanna be at the school

3:14

I was going to anymore. My

3:17

mother, she passed

3:19

away. I wanted to

3:22

new drugs. I wanted to I was

3:24

rebellious and I

3:26

was living in Beverly Hills and going

3:28

to a a school very far away from

3:30

Beverly Hills because that's where we live

3:32

with her mom, and I have friends there.

3:35

I saw her at her

3:37

school and I didn't

3:39

speak to her yet, but I immediately wanted

3:42

to be a friend. I was always

3:44

that person's, like, if I felt drawn

3:46

by somebody. I initiated.

3:48

I went after that person.

3:50

I struck up a conversation when

3:53

I was five. When we went through drive throughs

3:55

with my family, I would see a

3:57

a guy, like, get out the food

3:59

and the drive through and, like, McDonald's employee.

4:01

I'm so, you're cute. And

4:03

so I was, like, I was pretty

4:06

out there loud. And

4:08

and with my stalker, I was

4:11

definitely hone me

4:13

in on this person I wanna

4:15

know because I keep hearing about them.

4:17

And she was the most popular girl. I

4:19

was, like, a breathing like, I

4:21

remember I said before, a breathing artist.

4:24

I was a a kid

4:26

who was into hear and loss

4:28

and just wanted somebody who

4:30

can have a best friend and she looked like she

4:32

could be my best friend. My impression

4:34

of her was settling an excess accessible.

4:36

And anything that's inaccessible,

4:38

I think people can get drawn

4:40

to because it's like a challenge. When

4:42

we hang out, she

4:45

would come over to my house in Beverly

4:47

Hills. She absolutely did love the

4:49

Beverly Hills lifestyle that I had. She

4:52

would drop x to see. I would

4:54

drop x to see with her. We would

4:56

party. We would do

4:59

a lot of crazy stuff. Like,

5:01

go to random places and

5:04

just she was a lot more

5:07

rebellious than I. I was always on the

5:09

cautious side of things. It was

5:11

hot pull behavior constantly while,

5:14

you know, demanding very

5:17

demanding and when it

5:19

came to, like, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, they

5:21

were good times. They were good

5:23

times of, like, hanging out going to the movies

5:26

or watching different movies. But

5:28

mainly I was, like, I was a

5:30

a doormat and also an enabler.

5:32

I use a kid who she

5:35

demanded money because I lived in Beverly

5:37

Hills. I gave it to her for weed.

5:40

And when I say demand, I

5:42

mean, like, she was loud and she pushed

5:44

me a lot. She was, like, literally,

5:46

pushed me and tell

5:48

me, like, give me money. And

5:50

I gave it to her, but then she was really

5:52

sweet. And if anybody

5:54

is aware of narcissism, it's

5:57

the that push pull,

5:59

you know, that hot pull And

6:02

I would run to my sister and say,

6:05

she doesn't like me. She doesn't like me. I'll

6:07

be so insecure. What

6:09

did your other friends think of this

6:11

new friendship that you were building with her?

6:14

I know my great best

6:17

friend. She was she

6:20

was pissed off, but

6:22

we're all kids. And

6:25

she was pissed off. She said, you left me

6:27

for her. Like, do you know like,

6:29

this was, like, because there's two schools.

6:31

There's the one that was dysfunctional email

6:34

and then there's the one on the straight edge

6:36

Abercrombie and Fitch. And

6:38

so my Abercrombie and

6:40

Fitch friend he's like,

6:42

no. No. That that person she's

6:44

popular. Yeah. Abercrombie Fish

6:47

Friend was the popular one

6:49

too at the different school. Because

6:51

she's like, you know, she can't you

6:53

know, if you wanna hang up her fine,

6:55

but, you know, she was pissed off. And

6:57

eventually, our friendship bated, and

7:00

I was all my soccer's

7:02

friends, and unless she was

7:04

reminding me daily about how

7:07

I'm not her best friend or I am

7:09

her best friend for this person's

7:11

her best friend. And, yeah,

7:13

Yeah. People, they had the impression

7:15

that we were the tightest.

7:18

And, like, very tight

7:20

knit could not inseparable. Both

7:23

of us leaned on each other and,

7:26

you know, it was a a

7:28

mutual thing to where we

7:30

both needed our each other and

7:32

and loved each other. What

7:34

were your soccer's parents

7:36

and her family like? How did they treat

7:38

you. They didn't treat me so

7:41

wonderfully. My stalker has a

7:43

lot of half siblings and

7:46

brothers and all that. She

7:49

was on around. She was not really involved.

7:51

Her grandmother helped raise her

7:54

and but she was

7:56

her her grandmother was

7:58

difficult and that's the understatement.

8:01

What happened the night that she

8:03

attempted suicide? My

8:06

friend at the time, she couldn't

8:09

allow or she didn't have any permission

8:11

to bring friends into her home, her

8:13

grandmother's home. S4 I

8:15

would have to climb up a tree. And

8:17

I did I I would climb I climbed

8:19

up a tree, and I got

8:21

into her bedroom window and

8:24

she wanted a

8:26

forty. So I brought it over.

8:29

And so she was drinking a forty

8:32

and I had a forty actually right next to

8:34

me that I didn't drink. I I remember

8:36

her drunk and her

8:38

pulling out a wooden little

8:40

box. I never seen

8:42

it before, and I said, what is that?

8:44

And she opened it. And

8:47

there were legs. There

8:49

was a little bit of, like, gods.

8:53

And cotton balls and blades,

8:56

like, from pink

8:59

shaving blade type small ones to

9:01

really, really thick ones. And

9:04

it's been many many blades. And

9:06

I and she told me it's her

9:08

cutters kits, and she said it

9:10

pretty happily. Like, she

9:12

said with some

9:15

pride and smiled.

9:17

And she told

9:19

me, do you wanna cut ourselves together?

9:23

I told her, no. I don't

9:25

wanna cut myself. I don't think you

9:27

should cut yourself either. We can't

9:29

do that. And we shouldn't do a

9:31

better way. We can do something else, we

9:33

can watch a movie. And

9:36

she said, well, no. No.

9:38

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's cut ourselves. Said,

9:40

no. No. I'm not going to. Then

9:42

you shouldn't either. I got pressing.

9:45

And she got pressing too. Eventually,

9:47

she just shut up. And she

9:49

just stopped talking. I looked

9:51

down. Here's an awkward silence. I

9:53

looked down at this forty

9:55

that I haven't touched. And

9:58

then I looked up and I saw she

10:00

swipes the blade across her

10:02

arm. And as

10:04

if it was, like, and I always say

10:06

this, ain't really swiping a

10:08

credit card, a grocery

10:09

store, just going

10:12

and it was so quick and

10:15

so fast. Immediately,

10:17

I saw her put her hands on

10:21

her arm and just kind

10:23

of look forward with this blank

10:25

stare. I went to

10:27

her and I said,

10:29

Look at me. And

10:32

she looked me in the eyes, and

10:34

she looked at your side. I

10:36

said, you just cut yourself. She

10:38

said, Yes. She's

10:41

already very pale, and she's already trained

10:43

blue, and blood was dripping down her

10:45

whole arm. And

10:47

I looked down and I said, you need to look away.

10:49

And because if you

10:51

look down at the cut,

10:54

you can go into shock and you can't go

10:56

into shock right now. And so

10:58

she looked away and I

11:00

removed her arm and I saw a big

11:03

wide wide dash, all of

11:05

her fatty tissues, everything,

11:07

her whole arm is open. And

11:10

so I took her arm

11:12

immediately, like, I just

11:14

try to create, like, a tourniquet

11:16

and fold that wound and

11:18

close it with my pong and with my

11:20

fingers. And

11:22

I screamed for her

11:24

sister. And her sister

11:27

came in after, like, the fourth

11:29

time I was screaming. And

11:31

she came in annoyed, like, what is

11:33

it? And I said, she's

11:35

cut herself. You gotta you gotta give

11:37

me a phone, give me bone now, call nine one.

11:39

Gonna be towels. Gonna be towels. And

11:42

then her sister looked very, very

11:44

worrying. Her grandmother

11:46

came in and she

11:48

was not shocked at all,

11:51

although there was all this blood.

11:53

And her granddaughter is

11:56

really, really blue at this point. And

11:58

I told her grandmother call

12:01

911 where she said that would be

12:03

too expensive. We're

12:05

going to the hospital. We're driving there.

12:07

And I'm holding on to her in the back

12:09

seat, and she says, I'm cold.

12:11

And I looked down and I see that she has

12:13

no shoes on and I only have socks on

12:15

and I managed to keep my arm,

12:18

my hand on her arm and

12:20

keep that my the

12:22

pressure on the wound. And

12:24

I put the my socks onto

12:26

her feet. We got to the hospital. They

12:28

made us wait for

12:31

about, like, twenty, thirty minutes,

12:33

and we are in a holding

12:35

area. And nurse

12:38

comes. And now what

12:40

feels like is so long

12:42

is very quick. They just take

12:44

away my best friend. My

12:46

best friend goes away and leaves.

12:49

After that night, your

12:52

friend went into a mental

12:54

hospital. Can you tell us how that came

12:56

about? Well, she was

12:59

she was suicidal

13:02

and choose diagnosed

13:04

with borderline there borderline

13:07

disorder, but how

13:09

it came about I wasn't

13:11

in I I didn't know anything.

13:14

I wasn't privy to any information.

13:16

The family cut

13:18

me off. I only did speak

13:20

to when she was in the mental

13:22

institution, I spoke to her sister.

13:25

And her sister while

13:27

we weren't friends or

13:30

not talking, my

13:32

software and I weren't speaking because she wouldn't

13:34

speak to me. She wouldn't answer

13:36

my calls when I would

13:38

call the

13:39

institution. She wouldn't call

13:41

me back. Who I

13:43

speak to me? She just I I

13:45

didn't know what happened. So I basically

13:48

I I always hung out with my sister. I went

13:50

to school. And I

13:53

started to work more in the

13:55

entertainment industry and and

13:57

do things on my own. How

13:59

long was she in the mental institution? For

14:01

last three years. And once she got

14:04

out, how were you guys

14:06

able to reconnect? She

14:09

came back to California

14:13

and she lived in the

14:15

same place. She

14:18

would come over to my

14:20

house with Beverly Hills and hang out

14:22

there a lot, went back

14:24

to school, I was the same

14:26

school, went to high

14:28

school. And but

14:30

during this time, there was no,

14:32

like, moment where we

14:34

really have, like, a

14:36

time to sit down and reconnect

14:38

what's what's horrible

14:40

and that I'm realizing this.

14:43

Capture something so traumatic

14:45

and extreme, you would

14:47

think that we would sit down and

14:49

talk about it. But we

14:51

didn't. And that was my

14:53

friend's unknown. Nothing

14:56

happened, although something

14:58

really horrible did. That was

15:00

always her her thing.

15:02

And so, yeah, it's a we

15:05

just we we did

15:07

school and we would hang out but

15:09

I highly just thought to

15:11

myself, she

15:14

she has she acted out. I didn't know

15:16

at that age as suicide times.

15:18

I didn't know the words. I just knew

15:20

what I endured from it. And I

15:22

was at a loss because I couldn't bring

15:25

it up. But we still became

15:27

friends up until seventeen.

15:29

That's when she just upped

15:31

and left out of my life

15:33

shouldn't wanna speak to me at all

15:34

anymore. It's

15:39

a new year and that

15:42

means new goals. Together,

15:44

we can do this. Let's

15:46

save time, eat fresh, avoid

15:48

takeout, and even grocery

15:50

shopping for meals. It's

15:52

time to try factor. I

15:54

just went online and told them about my

15:56

dietary lifestyle and their chefs

15:58

prepared ready to eat meals customized

16:00

to my tastes with the ingredients

16:02

I want and nothing I didn't.

16:04

And every one of my meals is approved by

16:06

a dietitian. Keto calorie

16:08

smart vegan veggie protein plus

16:10

they have everything covered for you.

16:12

And it's no secret I can barely

16:14

cook and I hate to grocery shop

16:16

but I do love great meals and I

16:19

definitely need variety. They

16:21

have thirty four ready to

16:23

eat fresh never frozen

16:25

meals that are ready in just two minutes.

16:27

And if you wanna round out your meal and

16:29

replenish your snack supply, they have an

16:31

assortment of thirty six quick bites,

16:33

smooth these juices, and more satisfying add

16:35

ons. If you wanna save time

16:37

and eat clean without having to leave your

16:39

place to roam the aisles of the supermarket like

16:41

I did have factor delivered

16:43

right to your door. Head to

16:45

factor seven five dot com slash

16:47

strictly sixty. And use code

16:49

strictly sixty to get sixty percent

16:51

off your first box. That's

16:53

code strictly sixty at

16:55

factor seventy five dot

16:58

com. Slash strictly

17:00

sixty to get sixty percent off

17:02

your first box. Strictly

17:08

stalking is brought to you by Progressive

17:11

Insurance. Whether you love True Crime

17:13

or Comedy, celebrity interviews, news, or

17:15

even motivational speakers. You

17:17

call the shots on what's in your podcast

17:19

queue. Right? And guess what?

17:21

Now you can call the shots your auto insurance too.

17:23

Enter the name your price tool

17:25

from Progressive. The name your

17:27

price tool would you in charge of your

17:29

auto insurance by working just the way it sounds.

17:32

You tell Progressive how much you wanna pay for

17:34

car insurance, then they'll show you a

17:36

variety of coverages that fit within

17:38

your

17:38

budget. Giving you options. Now that's something you'll

17:40

want to press play on.

17:41

It's easy to start a quote and you'll be able

17:44

to choose the best option for

17:46

you fast. It's just one of the many

17:48

ways you can save with progressive

17:49

insurance. Quote

17:50

today at progressive dot com to try

17:53

to name your price tool for

17:55

yourself. Enjoying over twenty nine

17:57

million drivers who trust Progressive.

18:00

Progressive casualty insurance company

18:02

affiliates. Price and coverage match limited

18:04

by state law.

18:13

After you graduated from

18:15

high school, when was the next time you

18:17

heard from hurricane? So

18:19

after high school, I first

18:21

I Yeah. I I was. I was living my life.

18:23

I was writing, directing, producing, and

18:26

I wasn't posting too much on

18:28

social media because I have an aversion to

18:31

it. But I did have an Instagram.

18:34

And I this is ten

18:36

years. Ten years until

18:38

I I started talking to

18:41

my soccer again. So it was ten

18:43

years in the main game. Elmont happens in

18:45

ten years. I

18:46

moved. I met different

18:50

people. You know, the only

18:52

times that my soccer would come

18:54

up was that my

18:56

sister and I were reminiscing about

18:58

the different crazy stories of our childhood

19:01

and going back and forth

19:03

and my soccer's name would come

19:05

up and I would say

19:08

Yeah. Can we just not bring her up? I

19:10

don't wanna talk about her. I would always feel

19:12

a lack of closure. A complete

19:14

lack of closure from what had

19:17

happened. And my

19:19

sister was very supportive

19:21

in that. She said, look, you know,

19:23

I understand that having, like, with

19:25

mom and and then right after a

19:28

friend and then right after the

19:30

suicide theft and you know, all

19:32

these things and ghosting you and

19:35

it's it's a lot and I I felt

19:37

this void within

19:39

me, whatever, should be brought up. So

19:41

I just I tried my best

19:43

to accept it, let it go. Eventually, that

19:46

happens, works, and work

19:48

work works on movies.

19:51

And then I

19:53

started getting messages of

19:56

last year of twenty

19:58

twenty one. I got

20:00

text messages from people

20:03

who knew my software that I

20:05

wasn't in contact with or I

20:07

wasn't friends with. I've always had

20:09

the same number ever since I

20:11

was a little kid. And

20:13

they were talking and me texting me, saying, hey, it's

20:15

so and so. You remember me?

20:18

And I mean, I don't I I

20:20

mean, do what? Wait. Oh, you

20:22

know so and

20:24

so. You were friends with her.

20:27

Okay? Yeah. What's up?

20:29

And how are you? It's been, like, how many years?

20:32

Ten? So, basically, it

20:35

was weird. They were asking for so much personal

20:38

information. Where I live, what

20:40

I'm doing, and they never knew me to

20:42

begin with. Failing me through my

20:44

friend at the time I saw her.

20:46

And so I believe that was her.

20:49

But what happened was I was

20:51

busy on in production. And

20:54

finally, the social media, I was

20:56

told to post about it and advertise it

20:58

at this pilot. It was

21:01

I posted about it first

21:03

time. And I

21:05

started seeing little likes from

21:07

her Instagram account after

21:10

I posted about more entertainment

21:13

and photos of me with

21:15

different celebrities or,

21:18

you know, different events.

21:20

And another like there,

21:22

another like here, a friend request

21:25

from one of her best friends that

21:27

she used tell me, you know,

21:29

remember that's my best friend. You're not my

21:31

best friend. And

21:33

I declined it because I

21:35

just then and just to find it. But eventually,

21:37

in May of last

21:39

year, she reached out

21:41

after her birthday. And

21:44

I was posting a lot more on

21:46

social media of entertainment, and

21:48

she called me dead in

21:50

the night on Instagram

21:54

twice. And in the

21:56

morning, I was I was

21:58

super happy. I woke up.

22:00

And I made

22:02

a rule. Like, don't touch your Instagram. Yeah. In

22:04

the mornings, be peaceful, have your

22:07

coffee, smoke your cigarette,

22:09

be on the balcony,

22:12

relaxed. And it was

22:14

super peaceful that I had this pilot

22:16

that was done that had

22:18

great people and amazing

22:20

people, a team, and we pulled

22:23

it all off. And then I

22:25

looked down and I see that she

22:27

had called me

22:29

And I thought that's the honest thing.

22:31

You would have thought. I would

22:33

never have thought this person reaches out

22:35

to me after being so

22:38

withholding. And so I

22:41

prepared myself, mentally,

22:43

I responded to her, and I said,

22:46

I, how are you? Wow. It's been a long

22:49

time. Did you call me? And

22:52

then she text

22:55

and me, message me on Instagram.

22:58

And we went back and forth

23:00

and suddenly within it was,

23:02

like, text, like, like quick,

23:04

quick, quick, quick, quick, passing back

23:06

and forth, back and forth. My

23:08

whole work day was going,

23:11

and I went, that's not me. I

23:13

don't work a holler. And so my

23:16

intention was on this. And

23:18

event we're reminiscing and

23:21

about partying and

23:23

how she's a mom now, and

23:25

how she's, you know, that how

23:27

how stupid of that little girl, you know,

23:29

the the the soccer little

23:32

girl you know, do drugs, and, you know,

23:34

how she's doing so much better now. Everybody

23:36

in her family is happy. How I

23:38

took care of her and

23:40

how she's so thankful and grateful. Her Instagram

23:43

looked perfect. You know, baking with

23:45

her daughter photos

23:47

that just by design made

23:49

it look like she must be so

23:51

incredibly happy. Wow.

23:53

One eighty, good for you girl.

23:56

And that wasn't the case.

23:58

She uses a tool and still does to

24:00

show that she is her

24:03

image used to be intact because she

24:05

has no being inside

24:07

of her. It's all image. And

24:09

my software messaged me back. And

24:11

I said, I need to get on the phone with you.

24:14

Gone from. And

24:17

she said, hi. Yeah.

24:19

I just wanted to and she's

24:21

very meat and kind of,

24:24

like, scatter breathing on the

24:26

other end. Like, what's going on?

24:28

She said, III and you talked

24:31

to I reached out to you for a

24:33

reason. My boyfriend, who's

24:35

my father's kid, he's

24:37

raped me. He's abused me. He's beaten

24:39

me. He threw me up against the wall. He

24:41

hits me every day. It's my kid.

24:46

And he just drinks, and he

24:48

sleeps, and he didn't do

24:50

anything. And I've been

24:52

locked away by his family in a a

24:54

room with nothing but a bed and

24:56

my kid. I have been drawn

24:58

up against the wall and choked and

25:01

raped and then I had my kid,

25:03

oh, wait, he's here. He's coming. I

25:05

gotta go. Bye. Hings

25:08

up. I wait, petrified what

25:10

the heck is going on. I

25:12

believe in helping and advocating

25:14

for domestic abuse. My

25:16

mom was a survivor. Anyway,

25:19

so She calls back,

25:21

this happened frequently

25:23

where it's intervals of fifteen

25:26

minutes five minutes

25:28

hangs up. Lots of

25:30

graphic information about how she's

25:33

being abused and how she needs

25:35

me. Hangs up, calls me

25:37

back, I wait for fifteen minutes, and

25:40

hangs up again, and

25:42

then again and again and then

25:44

it goes. Eventually I say, what do you mean?

25:46

What do you need for me? What do you

25:48

need? How can I help you? Can I call the

25:50

police? You should call the

25:52

police. Can't do that

25:54

his dad is a part of the police

25:56

department. I'm quartering on all sides.

25:59

And eventually,

26:01

I said, look, I'll just come over

26:04

tonight. And you give me if you can't

26:06

speak, if you keep hanging up like this, you

26:08

don't feel safe to talk. I'll

26:10

come over and meet me. And, yeah, where

26:12

do you live? I'll I'll come to you.

26:14

And you just gotta give me a

26:17

signal. A signal that something is, you

26:19

know, seriously going on, and

26:21

that's how I can help you. And

26:23

that's well too. So my boyfriend

26:26

and I we went. And

26:29

I told him, I said, we're just going in

26:31

and out. In and out. This is

26:34

not anything. And I I repeated this because

26:36

it's like it was I stressed

26:38

it immensely, the boundaries that

26:40

I wanted in place.

26:43

That we're completely stripped. We're going in

26:45

and out, making sure this woman

26:47

is okay. If she's not, we're

26:49

flying, please. And we

26:51

gotta protect ourselves as well. We can't

26:53

just help anyone. We go

26:55

there, it looks

26:57

like the shepherd wives

26:59

in a trailer park.

27:02

It's freaky. It's

27:04

freaky. There's beer. There's

27:06

drunk. There's a loud kid.

27:09

There's a kid running

27:11

around, and my boyfriend and I

27:13

are both, like, in

27:15

the world is going on. And

27:19

everybody's so happy with

27:21

big smiles. And I

27:23

asked my soccer

27:25

what's happening. Do do you

27:27

need let's go talk somewhere. You

27:29

know, girl chat. Alright. Bye,

27:31

guys. Do you need you want me

27:33

to call the cops to sub Bruce? No. It's

27:35

not a Bruce. No. You don't call the cops.

27:37

I mean, it was it was

27:39

interesting to say believe.

27:42

Than startling, and we

27:44

left with somebody who didn't

27:46

need any help. She

27:48

didn't need the police call. She her life

27:50

wasn't in jeopardy, and

27:52

that was it didn't

27:55

but she pawned it off as, like, I

27:57

just need to keep speaking to you.

27:59

You give me the motivation you give me

28:01

the support that I've always needed and

28:03

need now in order to get out of this

28:05

horrible situation I'm in. And

28:08

that maybe go Okay.

28:11

If she needs emotional

28:12

support, I can put in some good

28:15

boundaries. How did

28:17

things become more toxic

28:19

for you after that initial time

28:21

when you went to her house.

28:25

Triulation was one. So it

28:27

became more toxic for me because

28:29

the abusive boyfriend

28:31

was involved. And without

28:33

telling me, she would try angry

28:35

like me against him, she

28:37

would take me and

28:40

say, So, like, I went over to her house at

28:42

one point when she was

28:44

trying to state him, and

28:46

he wasn't there at one, you know,

28:49

one nine and all this very

28:51

dramatic flare is added to it

28:53

always. And I'm there,

28:56

being supportive, And she

28:58

said, I finally told him

29:00

that I'm going to break we have to

29:02

break up after he

29:04

like, a decade and

29:06

less than a decade

29:09

and a kid. And it's just like

29:11

I finally told him and I said

29:13

to him I I was like,

29:15

wait, how did you what did you

29:16

say? Like, what did you do?

29:18

You don't say it, like, right away? How

29:20

do we react? Who said, I

29:23

told him that we're in a relationship together

29:26

and that I'm in love with

29:28

Abigail. And I said,

29:30

what? Hey. I can't believe. You know,

29:32

how do you why don't you tell me? Why

29:34

don't you ask me? Why are you saying you mean?

29:36

It's just like, why we are in relationship

29:39

together? And then she was like, made

29:41

it sound like she's joking. But

29:43

then, you know, seriously, we are in

29:45

relationship together though. I love you. Like, we're

29:47

soul sisters. I love you

29:49

so much and we are. So I told

29:51

him she said that she

29:53

told him for two weeks while we

29:55

were texting about

29:57

how different things that he's doing

29:59

to her and how I can be of

30:01

help, how she was writing

30:03

a treatment for me at one point. That's

30:05

the only way she could see me because she

30:07

was writing a script. Treatments which was a

30:09

lie. I didn't come up with that

30:11

lie. She kissed me in front of

30:13

her abusive boyfriend.

30:16

And I said that's

30:18

dangerous for me. That's

30:20

dangerous for you. Don't do that

30:22

again. And I'm uncomfortable

30:24

And she said, what are you talking about?

30:26

You thoroughly got off on it. And

30:30

I went, wow. So if

30:32

they just don't do it again, they can put

30:34

you in a lot of trouble if you

30:36

care. Like, a lot, and I don't

30:38

like it. But, yeah, so

30:40

once she finally did the official

30:42

breakup and told me that was

30:44

because she actually and I do

30:46

believe her, he

30:48

was telling him for two weeks straight that

30:50

we are in a relationship together

30:53

and we're lesbians for

30:55

each other lose her her words

30:57

verbatim.

30:57

What was the final straw after

31:00

reconnecting that you decided you

31:02

needed to end this relationship again?

31:04

My mother's anniversary her

31:06

death anniversary was coming up. This

31:09

is only two months of chronic,

31:11

like, reconnection. And it's coming

31:13

up and she's been out of

31:15

her relationship. She found

31:17

a new guy very quickly.

31:20

My time was consumed

31:22

from her texting

31:24

me all the time, calling me

31:26

all the time to manually time

31:28

coming over the apartment. I didn't I was working on

31:31

boundaries pre

31:32

reconnection. I didn't have any

31:35

boundaries that's on

31:37

me. So, also, she

31:39

inserted herself in her life in my life

31:41

in all ways. And

31:43

I decided to

31:46

look up do I feel

31:48

drained? It always starts with, like, a Google search

31:50

and anything that's toxic. It's

31:52

like, why do I feel drained in

31:55

my friendship? And there's so much

31:57

online that's really just for relationships

31:59

and but friendship,

32:02

not too much. S4 I would go Reddit

32:04

and go on Quora for

32:06

relationships and I would check my brain and

32:08

go think of it like a friendship.

32:10

And get as much info as possible. My

32:13

sister was incredibly helpful as

32:15

she had gone through a narcissist relationship.

32:17

My sister goes, k. What

32:20

you're going through is what I went

32:22

through, and you

32:24

have to stop. You're you're going

32:26

you're going down a rabbit hole.

32:28

You're going down that path, and

32:32

my sister put that in

32:34

perspective for me. That,

32:36

okay, there's bread crumbing that's happening.

32:38

I'm seeing it now a little bit

32:40

more clearly. I'm going no

32:43

contact. For two days,

32:45

I only went no content.

32:47

I just stopped

32:50

messaging, texting her back. I didn't give a reason. I

32:52

didn't wanna give her any energy. She

32:54

blew up my phone and

32:56

called me repeatedly throughout

32:58

the whole entire day, and

33:00

she called me the next

33:03

day she blew up my phone, I felt anxiety,

33:05

and I felt that pride at the same time,

33:07

which is a mind game in itself.

33:09

And I felt uncomfortable, I felt female

33:12

alone, basically, the breaking

33:14

point starts to happen

33:16

more and more and more to where I went,

33:18

oh, okay. I need to see her in person one

33:20

last time as crazy as that sounds.

33:22

And I need her

33:25

to I I know

33:27

all that she's doing now. See

33:29

the manipulation. I see the tactics. So I see everything how I've been

33:32

set up. She came

33:34

over and that's when

33:36

she attempted to

33:38

hit me at one point. And

33:41

she told me that we can't be

33:43

friends. I didn't provide her stability.

33:46

And structure. And

33:48

I was just like, wow, the

33:50

verbal abuse is beyond me and

33:53

emotionally abused is me. And

33:56

eventually, I had her leave my

33:58

apartment, not a confrontation or anything

34:00

after a confrontation. I was

34:02

crying, and I just say I

34:04

had her go or new

34:06

boyfriend was there. And

34:08

I walked her to

34:12

his car you know, after hearing such abuse and

34:14

knowing, alright, I'm done. Like,

34:16

after educating myself,

34:18

why is enough? I'm done.

34:21

I'm done. I'm done. What have I

34:23

been doing? All this for

34:26

nothing? And

34:28

I went no contact. And I

34:31

got a slew of phone calls from her, from different

34:34

numbers, and text messages

34:36

saying, hey, stranger. How

34:38

are you?

34:39

Almost long on

34:43

Pluto TV streamed

34:46

the biggest Tyler movie's free. Watch your

34:49

favorites like Midea's witness protection and Midea's big

34:51

happy family. Joy Tyler Perry is he

34:53

goes on a couple's retreat Sharon

34:55

Lille, and why did I get married? Or a

34:57

Griselda and Gabriel Union in the Tyler Perry

34:59

directed film, Daddy's Little Girls. Plus,

35:02

Pluto TV has hundreds of channels with thousands more movies

35:04

and TV shows available on live

35:06

and on demand. That was the free Pluto

35:08

TV app on all your favorite devices and

35:10

start streaming now. Pluto

35:11

TV, drop in, Watch

35:14

three.

35:15

Hi, everyone. This

35:19

is Jillian

35:21

with Court Junkie. Court junkie

35:24

is a true crime podcast that

35:26

covers court cases and criminal

35:28

trials using audio clips and interviews with

35:30

people close to the cases. Court junkie is

35:32

available on Apple Podcasts

35:34

and podcast one dot com.

35:43

Once you went no contact

35:46

with her, how

35:48

did the stocking begin? And what types of things was

35:50

she doing? So I

35:53

went in contact about yeah,

35:56

about last year, a week after

35:59

my mom's anniversary

36:04

passed. So what happened was she waited two

36:06

weeks without me reaching out to

36:08

her. And she always did

36:10

this and still does so to stay a

36:12

little bit. Where

36:14

she'll wait two weeks, and then

36:16

she'll reach out. And I started seeing

36:19

some suspicious stuff on my Instagram

36:21

account, on my stories, although

36:23

I kept it very limited. Like, I

36:26

didn't want to do anything on Instagram

36:28

because I knew she was active on

36:30

there. And I just

36:32

wanted to also be by myself.

36:34

I didn't wanna be coaching or

36:36

communicating with Instagram.

36:39

I so she texted

36:41

me, hey, how are you doing? Atkins,

36:44

if nothing happens, I didn't

36:46

respond to

36:48

these messages. I don't wanna block

36:50

her just yet. I didn't wanna do any of

36:52

that, but I every time I'm gonna text, I'll get

36:54

anxiety, and it would

36:56

physically shake through my

36:58

whole body. I dropped it to the bathroom,

37:00

ground going, okay, what's

37:02

happening to me over a text

37:04

message? My

37:06

nervous is and was getting just completely shot and

37:08

triggered of years and years

37:10

of going through different

37:13

trauma and retramping And then when I did

37:15

post I hit her my story on Instagram, and when I

37:18

did post something on

37:20

my story, I

37:23

saw a sex spot. Like, this this

37:26

I can't put it any other way. It's this

37:28

like, this woman, a nude, and

37:32

it's very unattractive women in

37:34

these profile pictures with random

37:38

names and too

37:40

many numbers and they're looking at my story. It never happened

37:42

before. Right? So that's really

37:44

odd. And

37:46

then I

37:48

would get more text each time I would post story and

37:52

from her. And then, eventually,

37:54

I go, I know you're on

37:56

your phone. And why

37:58

are you ignoring me instead of just

38:00

all these very sweet attacks?

38:02

And I went to AAA

38:05

event and she blew up my

38:07

phone, and she knew about

38:09

this event. And I

38:12

got an award

38:14

that night for filmmaking. And she

38:16

I had to have security up front and

38:19

gave them

38:22

a picture. And so

38:24

they watched for her. And,

38:26

yeah, she was around that

38:29

area, around the event. S4

38:31

blowing up my phone. I started getting

38:33

messages from different

38:36

people. Text

38:38

messages claiming to be, you know,

38:41

someone that's Jenny

38:44

or, hey, Jenny. How

38:46

are you? And

38:48

there's been so many of those.

38:50

And it there wasn't

38:52

one moment where I went, what's

38:56

going on? I knew. Oh, no.

38:58

This is her. This

39:00

is this is definitely her. And

39:04

so big Instagram

39:06

accounts happen. The first one

39:08

was a music producer,

39:11

claiming that they wanted to

39:13

work with me And so she she

39:15

when interviews, she would become

39:18

clients, quote unquote,

39:20

she would approach me

39:22

as a client. And,

39:24

eventually, with this music

39:26

producer, one, I because

39:28

this tying behind the phone, I did want to get a little

39:30

bit of an answer. And I said,

39:32

I asked a question

39:34

that led to her saying,

39:37

only breaking down and saying over

39:40

Instagram, look, I'm just a single

39:42

mom. Okay? I'm just a

39:44

single mom. Now are you

39:46

interested in buying our music or

39:48

what? And so that's

39:50

and then there was another

39:53

account that fill all this personal information about their

39:55

best friend and that

39:58

how their best friend is horrible

40:01

to them and how they loved them

40:03

and missed them, that they had a reconnection, and that they

40:06

were the closest in the world, and they were in

40:08

a, you

40:10

know, at one point, they're in

40:12

a room together and something serious had happened, and

40:14

all of the sounds that's very familiar.

40:18

And then my boyfriend was getting stuff, my

40:20

sister is getting stuff, my boyfriend is

40:23

getting news, and times

40:26

of women asking him over text and

40:29

WhatsApp and Instagram. Hey,

40:31

you know, I he

40:33

wants sex and Yeah.

40:36

So I didn't message her

40:39

back even though she

40:42

kept messaging I'm calling

40:44

these numbers back. And

40:46

they are saying to me,

40:48

who are you? I never called

40:50

you. And I learned

40:52

about SIFI. And restaurants would be calling me.

40:54

And they said, we don't I don't

40:56

I've never heard any what's going on.

41:00

And this could be going on and on every single day.

41:02

Now I'm not even exaggerating every

41:04

day. It would be going on. I'll be

41:06

getting tons different numbers from the

41:10

state that she was in for a mental institution,

41:12

for New York. And

41:16

because relevancy like I

41:18

shared information about how I love New

41:20

York to her California

41:24

Beverly Hills and places where she lived

41:26

and all area codes.

41:28

Those were the fake numbers, Google voice

41:30

numbers that would be calling

41:34

me I would

41:36

say about fifty times every day.

41:38

Every day. Starting in August,

41:43

all the way up to October.

41:46

That's when I eventually got a

41:48

text message from her from

41:51

actually her number. I hadn't blocked her,

41:53

but I blocked her on

41:55

Instagram. So she

41:58

texted me how come,

42:00

you know, talk to me.

42:02

And I said that's it.

42:04

And I I got it I'm good.

42:07

I went to my sister. I went to my boyfriend. And I

42:09

said, look, I'm gonna meet up with her.

42:11

And I'm going to talk to her. III

42:13

spoke to my therapist. And

42:16

I said, what can I say that can break through

42:18

to her and software? I haven't

42:21

texted her once. Maybe

42:24

she needs a tiny bit of

42:26

closure. She's after all, she is a

42:28

human. She is borderline. She is in

42:30

our system. Maybe she just is looking for something,

42:32

and I can diet down a little

42:34

bit. So my

42:36

therapist said, let's get you on

42:40

a script. That's made to where you say one thing

42:42

and variations of that one thing.

42:44

Again and again and again, you do

42:46

not break, you do

42:48

not falter, You do not say

42:50

anything else, she will try to play

42:52

every single card and gas like

42:54

you. But you could try it because right now you

42:56

have nothing to lose.

42:58

contacting the police. They just couldn't do

42:59

anything. When you finally decided

43:02

to contact the police, what did you tell them

43:04

and how did

43:06

they respond? He told them that I'm terrified for

43:08

my life right now. It's

43:10

very difficult to leave my apartment. I

43:12

feel like I'm being

43:14

constantly watched. And

43:16

I have seen my friends that

43:18

I've known since I was a kid

43:21

essentially drive by

43:24

my apartment. Show up at liquor stores or

43:26

just a couple of blocks from my

43:28

apartment. I'm Danny's Texas, these phone

43:30

calls, my boyfriend, everybody, all this

43:32

I don't feel safe.

43:34

And then they said, yeah, we

43:37

can't do anything. You

43:39

know, it's unfortunately, this

43:41

sounds just like cyber

43:44

stalking. Can't really do much with that. You

43:46

can look into some course, look

43:48

into a restraining order. I

43:52

felt I was training her, so I'm gonna do anything. It's not gonna

43:54

do anything except for both this this type

43:56

of situation. She's already high

43:58

in line with the phone. So

44:01

it's just gonna make things worse. So they

44:03

kinda do anything, they set themselves, and

44:05

they just point me in

44:07

different

44:07

directions, resources, sock up

44:10

lines, and that's where it's stopped. Where

44:12

is your stocker now? Is she still

44:16

stocking you? Yeah. So she's

44:18

he's somewhere and last

44:21

I heard, last

44:24

I knew, was that

44:26

she's she's actually in a

44:28

she's in a relationship or, you

44:30

know, I don't look at her Instagram.

44:32

I am blocked her. Sounds

44:35

crazy, but I believe in, like, forgiveness. I believe

44:37

in letting go. And I had so

44:39

many big accounts that were

44:42

blocked. That I just went I'm

44:44

gonna document, like, screenshots, screenshots, all of these, but unblock

44:46

and block and

44:47

block. I don't want this

44:49

on my list. And also I

44:52

hardly use Instagram anymore.

44:54

He is with her kid

44:58

and She's probably doing this too. A ton of other

45:00

people. She does whatever she can and all cause

45:02

for attention. Her friend

45:04

or her one of her ex's

45:07

a long time ago when we were kids,

45:09

he follows me on Instagram. Just yesterday,

45:11

I had posted a story for the

45:13

first time in

45:16

a while. And I got a text message the day

45:18

after. And so it's,

45:20

like, I don't know. There's different

45:22

things where big accounts will be

45:25

following the people I follow, although

45:27

I'm private and same with

45:30

my my boyfriend. But

45:32

they side down a lot I

45:34

I die down tremendously to where I

45:37

get text messages where she

45:39

poses as somebody else. The

45:41

last one was recent

45:44

to where she said,

45:48

hi. It's been a long time. That was

45:50

last week.

45:50

Do you think that she'll ever

45:53

fully stop stocking you? No.

45:56

But I think what's more

45:59

important is one day, maybe she'll just get,

46:01

like, so disinterested or just,

46:04

like, I don't

46:06

know. But I think

46:08

it's more important for

46:10

me that I realize.

46:12

It's not about her

46:16

stopping. It's about her it's about me

46:18

going finding the person who

46:20

I want and reclaiming her and

46:24

going, okay. If you

46:26

show up, show up,

46:28

I'm not afraid of you.

46:30

I'm certainly not afraid.

46:32

I don't let it consume me

46:35

anymore. That's it. Why did

46:37

you decide to go public

46:39

with your story? Why did

46:41

you come forward? Well, I hope that it

46:43

helps somebody, at least one

46:46

person. Or at least,

46:48

like, one thing that I had said.

46:50

I remember who so

46:52

much last year when

46:55

everything was as peak and

46:57

high as I would go

46:59

to Google. I would go

47:01

to the Bible. I would go

47:04

to so much to find that

47:06

validating piece

47:08

of information and go

47:10

up. That's something I can

47:12

use. And if somebody can at least

47:14

just take one word or one sentence

47:16

I say and be able to go around, yeah, I know I

47:18

can change my perspective. Because it's all

47:20

these baby steps. And it's up

47:22

to them. It's up to the

47:24

individual. However, they cross it,

47:26

whatever it

47:27

clicks. What advice do you have

47:29

for someone who has a

47:32

toxic friendship

47:34

that gives another person access

47:37

to their life and

47:39

then ultimately has to deal with

47:41

a stocking situation. You've got to have

47:43

a support system. And

47:46

you gotta educate yourself because

47:48

the more that you find

47:51

out about yourself And the more

47:53

you find out about what's going your

47:54

life, whatever it is,

47:56

especially when it's toxicity

48:00

or abuse, you are

48:02

able to dismantle its

48:04

power. And it starts

48:06

to go

48:08

from huge looming and big and dark

48:10

and gargoyle evil thing

48:12

lurking over you to, alright,

48:14

it's going smaller and smaller

48:17

and smaller. What's life like for you now? Fire,

48:20

nicer.

48:20

I love how the thoughts

48:22

are going quiet. Abigail,

48:24

thank you

48:24

so much for joining us today.

48:27

Thank you. Thank you, Abigail. If

48:30

anyone out there is in need of help or is a victim

48:32

of stalking, please reach

48:33

out. You can find a list of

48:35

resources on our Instagram at strictly

48:37

stocking pod. If you'd like to share your story with us on strictly stocking, you

48:39

can reach us at strictly stocking pod

48:41

at gmail dot

48:43

com. That's strictly stocking P0D at gmail dot

48:46

com. As a listener of strictly stocking,

48:48

please leave a review and read us

48:50

five stars on Apple

48:52

Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon

48:53

Music, or wherever you listen. I'm

48:55

Jake Deptula. And I'm Jamie Bibby. Thank you for

48:57

joining us on today's episode. Abstractly

49:03

stocking.