0:42

And welcome to another episode. I am your host, w I

0:46

z e, and I'm excited. My next ghost is, my

0:49

next guest Because the guest is the entrepreneur,

0:54

coach, fellow podcaster, and

0:58

author. Welcome to the show, David Kitchen.

1:01

Hey. What's going on? What's going on, man? Glad to be here. Oh, the

1:05

pleasure's all mine, brother. Pleasure's all mine. So you you have

1:09

quite an amazing story. So let's just jump right

1:13

into it. Yeah. Alright. So can you Can you

1:16

share that pivotal moment or realization that inspired you to

1:20

transition from one of the youngest NCAA

1:24

strength coaches to to a

1:27

leadership consultant. Yeah, man. I, so I was

1:31

fortunate to have the career that I had in in strength and conditioning. You know,

1:35

10 years in the industry, and and it's it's a tough place to be, man.

1:38

It's a tough place to live. But, basically, there there was 2 prongs.

1:42

So, one, I had always been entertaining this This idea of

1:45

leadership in the back of my mind, like, it's always something that really,

1:49

resonated with me, something that I was really interested in. It led to my degree

1:52

in sport psychology, my master's degree. And so it was something that

1:56

I had always had an interest in and a passion for. So that was

1:59

there. And then the 2nd piece was, You

2:03

know, we when you at the division one level, you're

2:07

attached to your head coach, and so if he leaves, you're fired.

2:10

Or you can interview for your job and hope that the next guy keeps you.

2:13

Right? So it's it's a brutal business, man. It's tough. And we

2:17

had come off a 22 win season at Georgia Southern. The NCAA

2:21

tournament had just got shut down because of the pandemic, and

2:25

our head coach the way I found out that our head coach took another job

2:28

Was literally we got off the bus, and he said, go see your family. My

2:32

family was in Pennsylvania. I was living in Georgia at the time. I flew up

2:35

to Pennsylvania, And I get off the off the plane, and my ESPN

2:38

alerts are blowing up, and he had taken another job. Right? So I had just

2:42

seen him a couple hours earlier. He knew he was taking the job. We

2:46

just never had a conversation about it. Right? So that was just a harsh reminder

2:49

to me that, like, this thing is a business, dude, and and you are

2:53

always attached to the people around you. It's no hard feelings for him, and it

2:56

was a great opportunity for him. Went on to be very successful. It was it

2:59

was a phenomenal move for him, but it was just a reminder to me that

3:02

this is a business. And that was kind of the moment for me that I

3:06

woke up a little bit, and I was like, I need to control my

3:10

own future. I need to control my own destiny. And for some people, that might

3:14

mean working a 9 to 5. But for me, it was,

3:18

I'm gonna start a business. Right? I'm gonna launch a business. And so Had a

3:21

conversation with 1 of my players who was the best player, and

3:25

the best leader that I had ever coached. Right? He's making a lot of money

3:28

now playing his sport, and he said, coach, I've been the best player on every

3:32

team I've ever been on, and everybody's always telling me to lead, but

3:35

nobody ever taught me how. And that was, like, the light bulb moment for

3:39

me. Like, that was the last piece of confirmation that I needed,

3:43

to to launch this business at the step away. So, You know, sent out the

3:46

text messages to the friends and family and just said, hey, guys. You know, the

3:49

ride's over. It's time for me to do something different. And flash forward

3:53

3 years, man, here we are. So you you started the the Edge Leadership Academy.

4:01

What is your core mission with that? The biggest thing for

4:05

us is to arm people with the skills that it takes to be a leader

4:08

in their life, a leader in business, and a leader in athletics or whatever endeavor

4:12

they choose, but who we are, man, we're built not born. Right? So

4:16

a lot of people say, successful people are born with certain things

4:19

or Whatever. I just don't believe it. Right? Because I'm from a single parent

4:23

household. I never met my biological father. My stepfather was an

4:26

addict. Like, I've been there. Right? And so I

4:30

statistically shouldn't be where I'm at, but I'm here because I've built a set of

4:33

skills. And as I got access to High performing

4:37

athletes, high performing coaches, entrepreneurs, I realized they're not special

4:41

either. Right? And so our core mission is to

4:44

remove that barrier for people And get them to understand that leaders are

4:48

built, not born. Whether it's a leader in industry, a leader on the field, a

4:52

leader in the family, a leader in the community, These are skills that you can

4:55

learn. These are skills that you can build over time, and you can become

4:59

whatever you wanna become. We wanna be the driving force behind people's

5:03

success. So so how does your background in

5:06

strength and conditioning influence your approach to to

5:10

leadership development? Oh, it's got a huge it it's it's got its

5:13

fingerprints all over it, man, because strength and conditioning is such a

5:17

beautiful thing because you're literally Asking people to

5:21

fall in love with the process, right, because you don't get strong in a

5:25

day, and and I can't I don't care if you're the best strength coach in

5:28

the year or best strength coach in the world. I can't make you strong in

5:31

a day, just like I can't make you a great leader in a day, and

5:34

I open my keynotes with that all the time. I'm not a guru. I'm not

5:38

gonna stand up here and tell you if you listen to me for an hour,

5:40

you'll walk out of here and be the world's best leader. What I do is

5:43

I ask you to engage in the process, and I'll give you the

5:47

steps along that process. So for strength and conditioning,

5:51

if I want an athlete to be more powerful, that I need to build their

5:54

max strength. I need to build their their power development. Right? Those are

5:58

key elements of it. For leadership, if I want you to be a better leader,

6:01

I need to build one of the 5 main characteristics of leadership.

6:05

And so it's the same it mirrors it very much so, and I think that's,

6:09

what kind of set us apart from the beginning with this business was

6:13

the fact that in strength and conditioning, everything is working on a reverse

6:17

engineered type system. Right? So you look at the end result that you

6:20

want, and then you play it backwards, and that's where you start. And it's the

6:24

same thing in leadership. So when I started working on my PhD in psychology,

6:28

the first thing that I did was I started looking at what are the top

6:31

traits of leaders. And then from there, I just reverse engineered it. Okay.

6:35

One of the top traits is character. Well, what are the things that go into

6:38

character? Well, it's self awareness. It's knowing your vision, your mission, and your

6:42

values. It's having a clear identity. Right? All those things go into character.

6:46

So to to say that I've separated, strength and

6:50

conditioning and and leadership would be alive. You know? It's

6:53

influenced every step of the way, and and I'm so grateful for that because I

6:56

think I bring a really different approach, to teaching leadership than a

7:00

lot of other people. So so how does psychology play a

7:04

role in your coaching and leadership development programs?

7:08

Same thing. Fingerprints are all over it, man. Yeah. It's it's

7:12

you know, the understanding the human mind and understanding the human experience

7:16

is 1st off, it's it's interesting, and I nerd out on it. As

7:20

much as I'm a meathead, and I love to lift weights, I also love to

7:22

understand the human mind. But to understand motivations and perceptions

7:27

and the way that we experience the world and how that's shaped by our values,

7:31

in our own experiences and environment is is a really unique trait,

7:35

you really unique skill set to have, and it allows you to Paint

7:39

a more broad or not more broad, a more specific picture of the type of

7:43

leader that you wanna become. Right? So by understanding yourself, You can

7:47

relate to others better, and it allows you to be more empathetic.

7:50

Right? So my approach to leadership is that no matter what industry I'm

7:54

working with, Whether it's somebody in corporate America or it's somebody on the athletics

7:58

field, like, I tell I tell them all the same thing, and that's that we're

8:01

in the people business. I don't care if you're selling shoes, you're selling cars, you're

8:04

trying to get somebody to run an 80 yard, sprint. You know, we're all in

8:08

the people business, and leadership is selfless influence.

8:12

And the only way that you can do that is if you know who you

8:15

are, you know what you stand for, and then you can start to relate to

8:18

other people and stand where they come from and

8:22

what they stand for, and then together, you can fight for the mission. So

8:26

you so you mentioned you come from a single single family household single

8:29

parent household Like myself, I was raised by my mom.

8:35

How how has that impacted you being raised by your mom?

8:39

And I I think your grandmother played a a part in that as well. I

8:42

was in because I I was raised by 2 strong women. I was raised by

8:45

my mom and my older sister. How has that kind of had an

8:49

impact on you on how you do things as well? That best

8:53

gift I was ever given. That's what that that's my exact quote about it.

8:57

Every time I'm asked, it's the best gift that was ever given. Being able to

9:00

see a mother and a grandmother, 2 strong

9:04

women step into those roles. I think I was available, able to avoid

9:08

some of the pitfalls that a lot of young men fall into, which is like

9:11

you have this, cornered idea of what masculinity is.

9:15

Again, depending on what your father figure is like, but Kind of the traditional,

9:20

gender roles and the traditional leadership roles within the household. Like, mine was

9:24

completely different. My mom was the one at football games. My mom was the one

9:27

there, teaching me how to tackle, teaching me how to catch a football, do all

9:31

those things. So I think it it greatly influenced me. I think it

9:34

it allowed me to be more empathetic and and listen to people

9:38

and wanna relate to people. I think it also gave

9:42

me a a level of grit. Right? Like, I watched I

9:46

watched my mom struggle, and I watched my mom work. I watch her pick herself

9:49

up day after day. And so to me, there

9:53

was no other option. Right? Like, when I went into life, like, I it was

9:56

very clear to me, like, Quitting is just not an option to me.

10:00

You you just gotta keep working. Like, it doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't

10:04

matter where you come from. To watch my mom go from the fact

10:07

that We were, you know, packing,

10:11

Salvation Army lunches for for other families, and I thought that they were

10:15

for other families. Right? I was young. I didn't really realize it. My mom would

10:18

always make sure that we grabbed them and and got 1 even though we were

10:21

the ones packing them and and giving them out, and I never realized it. It

10:24

was like, oh, we are that family. Even though even though we're helping those

10:28

people, we're that family too. Like, we need this help. We need

10:31

this support. Right? And so to watch her go from that to where she's at

10:35

now, which is, you know, running the best Alzheimer's care unit in the state of

10:39

Pennsylvania, and speaking all over the state and and doing these things, I'm

10:42

like, oh, you can literally Build yourself up into into anything that

10:46

you want no matter what you're going through. Right? So, I think, yeah, you know,

10:50

coming from that single parent household, like I said, it's it's the biggest gift I

10:53

was ever given, man. It was, a really unique childhood,

10:57

but it it shaped me into the man that I am. I actually live

11:01

in Pennsylvania now. I'm a I'm a Brooklyn boy. I live in the

11:04

Pocono Mountains in, Northeast Pennsylvania. Welcome to the sticks. I'm I'm

11:08

not far from you, man. I'm central Pennsylvania. Oh, okay. Yeah.

11:12

So, I I like I said, I

11:15

was raised by my sister, my mom, and and that's where I get a lot

11:19

of my from a lot of the things that that make me who I am

11:22

because because of the way they raised me. I had my brothers around me, so

11:26

I had those male Figures in in my life

11:29

show me play sports and all that, but the core values of

11:33

of of for

11:37

my mom. Like, she's her house was an open door for everyone. Anybody

11:41

like, regardless if we didn't have much in the house, Her doors were open, always

11:45

open to family and friends that needed it. So that's where I get a lot

11:48

of this a lot of the the empathy and all the caring. I get it

11:52

from her and my sister because they they've always been

11:56

though that those members of the family that regardless

12:00

of How much we don't have if

12:04

we have more than someone else, we're always willing to share it. It's it's there's

12:07

no doubt. There's no doubt that that's where I get it from because, like I

12:10

said, my mom's door was open to anyone who came from Puerto Rico or from

12:14

any other state to come visit. Her house was the house that people came to

12:17

visit because that's how she wanted it. Yep. Yeah. And I I

12:21

think it it over time, man, you once you grow into your own as

12:25

a man, Like, I'm not afraid to lead with love now. Right? Like,

12:29

I'm not I'm not afraid. Like, I think I have both sides, in me,

12:32

especially now that I've grown And now that I've matured and lived life and, you

12:36

know, experienced things, I I think I have both sides of me,

12:40

but it it it's not. I'm not

12:43

afraid to lead with empathy. I'm not afraid to lead with love. I'm not afraid

12:47

to to do those things, you know, and I think that That's

12:50

because it was it was modeled for me at a young age. Right? So I

12:53

almost got got to become my own version of what a man is, right, and

12:56

and figure that out along the way by taking the best pieces of

13:00

the mentors that I had throughout my journey. Right? I wasn't I

13:04

wasn't forced with, and and not that, you know, having a father is a bad

13:07

thing, but, like, I wasn't I wasn't, You know, given this mold of,

13:11

like, this is what a man is. To me, it was I got to

13:14

go through life and look at the men that were out were in my life,

13:17

whether they were Friends, friends, fathers, coaches, etcetera,

13:21

and I got to say, okay. I really respect this about this person.

13:24

I'm gonna take that that part. So it's almost like a patchwork,

13:28

fatherhood type deal for me. And and and I and I and then it was

13:32

similar for me because I had uncles and cousins that that were older,

13:36

that they played an impact. They played a part their part in in help

13:40

help helping me develop as a man and everything. But,

13:44

Again, if it wasn't like, you're talking about

13:47

leading leading with love. If it wasn't for that, for my mom and

13:51

my sister, I wouldn't be able to do that as well. They they they showed

13:54

me to that they they showed me that path, and and and I'm

13:58

forever grateful for that. And I'm I'm like, I got to

14:02

reunite with my dad after 25 years,

14:05

only to reunite with him Father's Day weekend

14:09

and and lose him that's, like, the next day. Oh, wow. So

14:13

it it it was like but for me, it was closure because I

14:17

got to speak to him, And I had already forgiven the fact

14:21

that he wasn't in my life, but to be able to tell

14:24

him and express it to him, they it kind of

14:28

Gave me closure on on that fact, but,

14:31

again, had it not been What my

14:35

mom instilled in me, I don't know. Like, because it

14:39

it was crazy because in no way, I I lose my

14:42

wife in a car accident, And I

14:46

reunite with my dad in 09 just to lose him.

14:50

So it was like, I lose my wife, Then I reconnected my dad

14:54

only to lose him. And and it was crazy because, like, in a 5 year

14:57

span, I lost my wife, my dad, 2 brothers,

15:03

uncle and the aunt that helped raise me. It was like it was just 1

15:06

tragedy after another, And it was like, for me,

15:10

it was what? Why? What? Why? Am I such a bad person? What

15:13

am I doing wrong that all this is affecting me?

15:17

But my it's crazy because my wife had prepared me in a way because she

15:21

introduced me into the world of self development and self growth, And and

15:24

something that I didn't know about. It is not like, I'm from the hood. It's

15:28

not something that they practice in the hood. They don't teach you that You need

15:31

to start reading these books. You need to learn from these mentors. You need to

15:34

seek out mentors to help you develop. These these aren't things that you're taught.

15:38

And so when she introduced me to that world, it kinda prepared

15:41

me for what was to come. Even though I was lost

15:45

for a while And and it took me a

15:49

little bit of time to to get back on that path. It it kinda

15:52

prepared me for that. It it it Yeah. It showed me and and it got

15:56

me, and I got back into self development. I've been reading more, and and I

16:00

and I it's really been It's been the last

16:03

thing has been, since the shift, since I shifted and and

16:07

went back into self development, my life has changed. I'm remarried. I got a

16:11

beautiful wife that's very supportive. I have a wonderful job

16:15

that pays well. I moved from New York to Pennsylvania to get away

16:18

from the in the hustle and bustle to, like, more relax

16:22

and and and more and more peace.

16:26

And so Yeah. With that shift and and getting back

16:30

into self development, it's been a blessing. What

16:33

has self development meant to you.

16:37

Everything. Everything. I would not be here, if if I

16:41

didn't find those things, like, You know, similar to you, and thank you for sharing

16:45

your story, by the way. I think that's really powerful, and I appreciate you you

16:48

open up about that. You know, I I think self

16:51

development to me in one way or another saved my life.

16:55

Right? So I I say that to say when I was in

16:58

college So when I was in high school, I had to raise

17:02

my brother. I had to help raise my brother, and so I had to hold

17:06

myself to a certain standard because he was watching. And

17:10

so I held all these immaturities inside because I couldn't show

17:14

them outwardly, right, because I had to be like the dad. Mhmm. When I got

17:17

to college, nobody was watching, And so it was like a pit bull off

17:21

the leash, man. I I every childish, you know,

17:24

impulse that I had, I I played it out in college. Partying Wednesday

17:28

through Sunday, fighting, talking back, disrespecting,

17:32

like, rules. Like, just everything that you could possibly do, I did.

17:36

And It wasn't until I graduated

17:40

and I've started coaching high school football that I realized, like,

17:43

oh, Wait. I have to be a role model again. I have a responsibility.

17:47

I have to take responsibility for my actions. Right? And I had a college coach

17:51

say to me, during my career, And he said, Kitch, at some

17:55

point, you gotta learn to be the guy instead of being that guy,

17:59

and I had no idea what he meant. Right? He was talking about self development.

18:02

He was about developing my character, and part of that was I

18:06

didn't know who I was. And so as I got through

18:09

college and got into coaching, I did a Ton of deep work on

18:13

myself and figuring out what is my vision for my

18:16

life? What is my mission? What is what am I put on this earth to

18:20

do on a daily basis? What are the core values that I fight

18:24

for in my life and getting clear on that stuff? And then from there,

18:27

once I had that foundation, Being able to start opening up different

18:31

windows and figuring out, alright, how am I gonna be

18:35

consistent in chasing this vision and mission every day? How am I gonna

18:38

start to curate my friend group? Like, how am I gonna make sure that I'm

18:41

surrounded by the right people and getting away from the wrong people? How am I

18:45

gonna learn to emotionally regulate and and be consistent

18:49

in what I do so that I'm worth following. Right? Because at the end of

18:53

the day, if you wanna be a leader, you gotta be worth following. You gotta

18:55

be going somewhere worth going. And so my big

18:59

thing was I'm never gonna stand in front of a group of 18 to 22

19:02

year old kids, which is what I did on a daily basis. I'm never gonna

19:05

stand in front of them and lie. Just like I won't stand in front of

19:08

my clients now and try and preach them something that I'm not practicing. Right?

19:12

So self development was the key to me becoming the coach that I

19:16

became, The man that I am, the business owner that I am, the friend that

19:19

I am, all those things, and it's a never ending process, man. Yeah. It's a

19:23

never ending process. It's it's I got through a certain layer, and then, like you

19:26

said, there's seasons to life. Right? I I get through coaching, and

19:30

then all of a sudden, I gotta go through another identity shift Because now I'm

19:33

no longer a coach. Now I'm a business owner. I gotta figure that out for

19:36

the 1st time. Now I'm trying to do all these things. I'm an entrepreneur. I

19:39

wasn't prepared for the stresses of that. You know? And then I get hit with

19:43

I get an anxiety and depression diagnosis. And I go through that

19:47

for 6 months, and I almost lose everything. Right? And self development

19:50

helped me pull myself out of that hole, like learning to meditate, learning

19:54

to expand my mind, learning to journal, learning to do those things.

19:58

So every step of the way, when I've seen my life

20:01

elevate and seen things in my life change, it's been a direct result of

20:05

the work that I've done on myself and then Giving that light to other

20:09

people. Right? Showing other people the way. Yeah. No.

20:12

It it's it is. Because for me, Actually,

20:16

being able to do my podcast. And, like, when I first

20:20

started, it was, it was it started as a solo

20:23

podcast. And then I I didn't enjoy it because it

20:27

was during the time the pandemic had just hit. I

20:31

was furloughed from work. I was home,

20:35

Not really doing much. Just just going rocking going

20:38

crazy at home. And I had been

20:42

wanting to start a podcast, and I was just kept making excuses. That's

20:46

why I named it stuck in my mind because I was in my own head,

20:49

I was like, Now you're gonna sound horrible. Nobody wants to listen to you. Why

20:52

would you wanna do it? So I was just just making up excuses, making

20:56

up excuses. When I finally decided to do it, I launched it. It was, like

21:00

I said, it started off as a solo podcast, and then

21:05

I enjoyed the podcast, but I just wasn't enjoying the content. I felt

21:09

like, man, I wanna interview people. I wanna sit down and start telling people about

21:12

self development, self growth, and and their journeys and what they're experiencing and what they're

21:16

going to. And for me,

21:20

that really clicked. That when when I got my first has to come on, which

21:23

is a friend of mine. Shout out to, Tracy Mueller for coming through and and

21:28

helping me. And It was like, this is

21:31

what I wanna do. I wanna interview people. I wanna I want them to share

21:34

their stories because maybe there's someone out there that might want might need to listen

21:38

to it, that might need to hear it, And and it's been amazing, man.

21:42

Some of the responses that I've gotten even recently,

21:46

I I had done an interview last year with a friend That

21:50

we record the first she was one of my probably one of my

21:53

first guest

21:57

Early in in my podcasting career, and

22:02

I got her back on because then because at that time, I was just doing

22:05

audio. I wasn't doing video. And so when I transitioned to

22:09

video, I interviewed her last year, and

22:12

and I had for some reason, I I don't know why they release it. It

22:16

just it stood in my in my in my bank with all the other ones.

22:19

And just recently, I was looking for, audio

22:23

episodes to release, And I was looking, and I saw her, and I was

22:26

like, I didn't release this episode? So I released it.

22:30

And When I released that, I filled out the description and

22:34

everything. I put I picked the picture that she that

22:37

looks amazing of her, And I used it for the thumbnail and

22:41

everything and tagged her in it.

22:45

Like, she she messaged me later on and was like, you know,

22:49

She's like, is this the episode we recorded last year? She's

22:52

like, thank you because I

22:56

haven't been that person. I haven't been feeling like that person. Like, the description about

23:00

her and and everything was it was a wonderful thing about and and that's how

23:03

I felt. And she's like, I need she's like,

23:06

I haven't been myself. I haven't been feeling like that person. She's not

23:10

the guy we did this interview. It it was

23:14

one of the first times that her own words,

23:18

her own interview Helped her. It

23:22

impacted her because, again, like, she like I said, she wasn't feeling herself.

23:26

And to see those words describe her, and she's like, you know, you picked the

23:29

perfect Picture of me. Thank you. That's, like, one of my favorite pictures. I feel

23:32

so beautiful in it. And when she when

23:36

she said that, it was like, okay. This is it. This is

23:39

this is why I continue to do this, to have that kind of impact. If

23:43

it's just 1 person that I'm impacting, I am doing what I'm supposed to

23:46

do. And I and I was And that honestly, I didn't know why I picked.

23:50

I was like, yo, I have I'm like, something just said release this episode.

23:54

Like, this is the episode you have to release. And to have that

23:58

impact on her and have her message me and tell me, like, thank

24:01

you. That that's this is why I love doing these interviews and having

24:05

these conversations. Absolutely. Absolutely. And

24:09

it's it's cool because you you never know, like, you

24:12

never know who needs to hear a message, and you never know when that message

24:16

needs to be said. Right? Like, there's certain things. Like, I love going back to,

24:19

like, my old journals or, like, my old notes or stuff and just being

24:23

like, oh, man. Like, I I take that differently now. Right? Like, you you know

24:26

what I'm saying? Like, it hits different because of who I am now versus who

24:30

I was then. So it's so interesting to be able to look back and see

24:33

your own mindset, how you've elevated, how you've grown, how you look at things

24:37

differently. Or as a reminder, like you're saying here, As a

24:40

reminder, like, hey. No. This is who I am. Like, this is even

24:44

though I'm going through this season of life that's really testing me and

24:48

really challenging me, This is who I am in my core, and

24:52

that's the power. That's why I'm so such a huge advocate and

24:55

so passionate about people writing down their vision, their mission, and their

24:59

values Because you need those reminders, even the

25:02

best even the best. Listen. I get in seasons of life, man, where I'm getting

25:06

my butt kicked, And it's like, I need that reminder of, no,

25:09

dude. This is who you are. This this is who you are in the storm.

25:13

This right here, You need to be excited about this adversity because it's gonna give

25:17

you an opportunity to answer the question that most people run away from.

25:20

Right? Are you who you think you are? Are you as tough as you think

25:24

you are? Are you as as gentle as you think you are? Are you as

25:27

caring as you think you are? Can you hold your ego in check through this

25:30

season of adversity. Like, that stuff excites me now, but, again,

25:34

you need those reminders to anchor you in that of who

25:38

you are and what you're about and what you're put on this planet to do.

25:42

No. You're absolutely right. And and and it's funny because I'm I'm

25:45

47 years old. And when I started my podcast, I was 44

25:49

or whatever, and I didn't really know my

25:53

purpose. I didn't know I didn't really Think of it. I didn't really

25:57

and so when I started doing my podcasting, and then I did receive messages

26:01

from people like, yo, keep do because, again, I'm in you you're your own worst

26:04

credit, And I'm always Mhmm. I'm like, oh, man. This sucked. That sound

26:09

and then when people people, like, listen to the show, they're like, dude, darn.

26:13

What's wrong with you? Like, No. You they're like, you you have that voice, man.

26:16

You have a voice. You have that keep doing it. Just

26:20

and it it was just like You get that little self

26:23

doubt in you, and then but then when you start receiving those messages and you're

26:27

like, maybe I am on my right path. Maybe this is what I'm

26:30

supposed to do. And it's it's it's been a

26:34

blessing to be able to find my voice and being

26:38

able to find that, hey. Listen. You can make an

26:41

impact. Continue to do what you're doing. You're touching people's

26:45

lives. You're you're changing. I had a conversation, like,

26:49

one of my earlier episode earliest episodes, I had a conversation with a high school

26:52

friend, and we were talking about self development. We talked about This is,

26:56

he's one of the hottest real estate agents in Brooklyn right now. He's killing the

27:00

game. And we had a wonderful conversation about self development,

27:04

growth, and things that we were doing. And someone who went to high

27:07

school with us saw that episode, and

27:11

they had been on the fence about Entrepreneurship going into their own starting

27:15

their own business, and then hearing 2 people

27:18

that they grew up with and that they knew personally. Talk about

27:22

it. Talk about self development. Talk about entrepreneurship. Talk about all the

27:26

it gave them to the courage to start that business, to

27:30

go on On the fence, like, I don't know. But then hearing, like,

27:34

2 people that you know personally talk about it and

27:37

and and give details about how what they're doing, and and

27:42

They sent me a message. Like, thank you. I needed that episode. To hear y'all

27:46

talk about like, hearing 2 people that I know personally talk about things

27:50

that I have doubt about and

27:53

realizing that, look. These are 2 guys that I know personally. They're doing it. Why

27:57

can't it not why can't I do it? And so, again, to have that

28:01

type of impact is what I love, to be able to to touch someone's life

28:04

like that where They've they're on the fence on anything,

28:08

and then me or my guest say something that impacts them, and

28:12

they're like, yeah. That makes sense. And and

28:16

so on. And and you're you're exposing people. You know? You're exposing people

28:20

to to success. Right? Like, you can't

28:24

You can't be successful if it's foreign to you. Yeah. You

28:27

know? And and success in whatever whatever definition you you have of it for

28:31

yourself, but you can't be successful if it's foreign to You gotta speak the language,

28:35

so you gotta expose yourself to it. Right? And so listening to podcasts,

28:40

watching videos, ebooks, Getting out and being in the right social

28:43

circles, all that stuff, you start to make those connections, and then that's when the

28:47

change happens. Right? That's when people start to make decisions and say, Okay. I'm I'm

28:50

actually gonna do this. I'm gonna take the leap, because there's such

28:54

a disconnect between who we think These other people

28:58

these, quote, unquote, successful people are and who we are. We're like, oh, the the

29:02

gap is so big, but it's really not. It's really not. It's

29:06

it's a a series of experiences and information that you can find. Right?

29:09

And so exposing people to that is so important,

29:14

And it's so powerful. And on your side, man, this is the beautiful thing, and

29:17

this is the way what I want you to hold on to, man. And I

29:19

know I'm I'm giving you your flowers here because this this is cool.

29:23

You're the one, right, in your family. So what what I mean by

29:27

that, if you look back in in families, whether somebody

29:30

has generational wealth generational wealth, generational wealth, whether they're

29:34

extremely physically fit, whatever the family is, if they're successful by

29:38

some metric, right, They weren't always that way.

29:42

Somebody in that family bloodline, somebody in that family

29:45

tree changed it. Somebody in that family tree changed the way they

29:49

think about business, changed the way they think about self development, changed the

29:53

way they think about relationships, Change the way they think about fitness, about

29:56

health, about what's possible, about education. Right? Every family

30:00

has 1 person like that, And by you hopping on the mic

30:04

and diving into your journey, you're being that one for your

30:07

family. And not only that, You're allowing other people, and you're empowering

30:11

other people to be the one for their family. Like, that comes with

30:15

a responsibility. Like, I feel like I'm the one for my family. Yeah.

30:19

And but it's also it's an honor. Right? It's an honor, and it and it

30:22

should give you drive. It should give you passion and reaffirm that you're doing

30:26

the right things Because somebody in your family bloodline, somebody in

30:30

that family tree has to be the one that steps out

30:33

because each generation is just gonna get better if you're if you take on that

30:37

Jody. And and it's funny that you mentioned that because when I was

30:41

younger, I didn't realize that my aunt was the one was that one.

30:45

She's the one who bought her family over from Puerto Rico, and

30:48

and and that when I was younger, I didn't know what entrepreneur is, but it

30:52

was her. She she owned rental properties. She had a a a

30:55

a social club that she had, and she was a she was a

30:59

grinding hustler, and she was an entrepreneur. And

31:03

and it and it took me to get older to realize now,

31:07

like, even after her passing, now after her passing, I'm realizing, like, She was

31:10

that one for us. She was the one that made that change for

31:14

us. She changed she impacted a lot of lives by bringing her family

31:17

over here. And And and now that

31:21

I look at it and see, I'm like, man, she was that entrepreneur. She was

31:24

that first one in our family that really was owning

31:28

rental prop and own multiple rental properties. I had a little

31:32

social club where people came and had their drinks and all that and everything.

31:37

She ran numbers. She was she was a hustler. She was a hustler,

31:41

but she she did her thing. And and and it and now

31:45

when I'm older, I'm realizing, like, she was that one. Now it's now

31:49

my turn to continue that legacy And and and be the one

31:52

for this upcoming generation and everybody else to look like my grandkids, and everyone

31:56

else to look at me like, yo, that's my pop up. He's doing some amazing

31:59

stuff. Look at him on Put them on TV or whatever it is, YouTube, whatever

32:02

it is. So it's it's it's

32:06

amazing as The journey progresses that you start realizing things from

32:10

your past that you didn't know this when you were younger.

32:15

You learn so much, man, and there and there's so many people that close the

32:19

book on the past, and they don't look back and look for the lessons. Right?

32:21

The the the past is a beautiful thing to learn from. Past is a is

32:25

a beautiful thing to be able to look back and say, hey. Look at the

32:27

lessons. Like, everybody's life is like a hallway, right, and there's doorways on

32:31

each side. And if you open those doors, There's all types

32:35

of information and and lessons and and things that you can pull from

32:39

that that can make your life better. Right? And then

32:42

as you get further along in your life, you gotta look back down your own

32:45

hallway and revisit those doors a little bit and say, hey. What what did I

32:49

learn from this season of life? What were some things that I can pull out

32:52

of here that maybe I didn't realize or maybe I wasn't? Because as we talked

32:56

about earlier, you're not always in a place to pull the lesson out. Right? Maybe

32:59

you're not there yet. Maybe your mind wasn't open to it at the time, or

33:03

maybe it was so emotionally charged that you have a different perception

33:07

of it back then, and you've just held on to that perception. Right? You

33:10

never sat down and really investigated and analyzed what happened

33:14

during that time in your life, now you can look at it and say, without

33:18

the emotion, oh, here's what was going on there. Like, yes,

33:22

x, y, z happened, but, also, here was my role in it, And here's these

33:25

things, and I'm glad I'm not that person anymore, or I'm glad I am that

33:28

person now. Right? Whatever it is. But we have to revisit our past, and we

33:32

have to be willing to Sit with that uncomfortable feeling of the

33:35

chapters that we we tend to skip. Right? Especially when we tell our story. Like,

33:39

a lot of people tend to skip Those dark and gloomy days because they don't

33:43

wanna revisit them. For me, man, that's what makes your story what it is. Right?

33:46

Like, superheroes are all born from something dark. Mhmm. You know? So you you have

33:50

to you have to own those stories and own those scars. And and first, when

33:54

I first started, I was kind of I didn't share my story. And

33:57

then when I finally did, I realized the impact that it has.

34:01

Like, I I've like, to lose my wife

34:05

at 31, Right? So a car accident,

34:09

and and go through the way I I I dealt with it in in

34:13

the grief. And then, Again, the following year, lose my dad, and then, yeah, it's

34:17

like just like I said, 1 tragedy after another. I

34:20

I like, kinda kinda like how you said, I didn't I didn't wanna go touch

34:24

stat subject. I didn't wanna go back to that place. I didn't wanna go back

34:27

to that dark place. But then I realized, like, no. I need to share

34:31

that. People need to see that part of it. They they they're seeing the

34:34

end result now. They're seeing me go

34:39

go through my growth and development and and the conversations that I'm having,

34:43

But they need to see where it came from, where where where

34:47

this really kinda started in a way. And

34:50

They have to know about the loss, and they have to know about the tragedy.

34:53

And they need to know that regardless of what you go through in life,

34:58

You can pick yourself up and and continue to continue to grow

35:01

and and and learn. And for me, it it's just

35:05

been It's like when

35:08

I when I gave up that that victim mindset, like, oh, oh, it's

35:12

me, why me, or why why is this happening to me?

35:16

And focused on, listen, this is life. This is what these are the

35:19

challenges that you're that's gonna be thrown ahead of you. How are you gonna

35:23

deal with it? Like, that head that voice in my head was like,

35:27

this isn't what you're here for. This is this is not your purpose to be

35:30

here. Drinking away your sorrows, drinking away your

35:34

problems. No. You got you got bigger things.

35:38

And when and when I decided to really Change

35:41

that and and focus on, like, listen. Life happens. Yes. It's

35:45

it's I'm hurting. I'm going through I went, sought the help that I

35:49

needed. Went to therapy, spoke to people, and

35:54

and that allowed me to get back to to self

35:57

development. Really get back into reading and really

36:02

wanting to do something

36:05

about Helping people get

36:09

through these try get through hard times.

36:15

Yeah. It's it's, it's interesting, man. Like, the the

36:19

more you the more you dive into this stuff from the deeper down the

36:23

rabbit hole you go, the more you realize, that as much as it's

36:26

called self development, it it ultimately ends up being other development. Right?

36:30

Like, As much as we get into it for our reasons, like, we get into

36:33

it because we need or we want to grow or we wanna be the best

36:37

version of ourselves or whatever, the further we go, the more

36:41

We pour into other people because you start to realize and this is

36:44

leadership. Right? This is goes back to exactly what we're talking about at the beginning.

36:48

It's selfless influence. Right? I'm selfish about being the best

36:51

version of me so that I can be selfless in my service of

36:55

others. So Right. You mentioned that you no. That's

36:59

perfect because when I've had a guest on,

37:03

and And I told him about because at one point,

37:06

I felt kinda selfish because of the and I was

37:10

enjoying doing the podcast. I was enjoying having these conversations, And

37:14

I was and I thought in in my my own mind, I was like, oh,

37:17

man. This is self is this selfish of me of really being being enjoying

37:20

these conversations? And and And the guest goes,

37:24

no. They're like, no. That's actually self love, and

37:28

the fact that you're sharing it with your audience shows that you're not selfish

37:32

because you're not hoarding this information. You're not keeping this this content to

37:35

yourself. You're sharing it with your audience, so there's nothing self

37:39

there's nothing selfish about that because you're wanting, your audience to

37:43

grow and and develop with you. So, yes, you felt you felt the kinda way

37:47

because you've you're enjoying these conversations, and you felt like this. They're like,

37:50

that that you're not you're doing the complete opposite. You're sharing what

37:54

you're learning. And I was like, oh. It's okay.

37:59

Yeah. Yeah. It's being selfish about being selfless. Yeah. Right? You you're

38:03

selfish in that you built the skills to be able to launch a platform like

38:06

this, But now you're selfless in what you do with the platform. Yeah. Right?

38:10

And and I look at my own career the same way. I was selfish in

38:14

the fact that I poured into myself. I quit my job. I put my

38:17

my career above a lot of things in my life so that I could

38:21

be selfless in my service of our student athletes for 10 years

38:25

And now selfless in my pursuit of giving people

38:29

the skills that they need to be successful in life and the mindset that they

38:32

need to be successful in life and business and all the things that we do,

38:36

I wouldn't be able to do that if I didn't spend those scary hours

38:39

on myself. Mhmm. Right? I wouldn't be I wouldn't be able to.

38:43

So To really be selfish would have been

38:47

to not do that work. You know what I'm saying? And so it

38:50

it it's a really interesting there's layers to it, But it it's being

38:54

selfish so that you can be selfless. That's the it's it's a beautiful cycle.

38:58

Like, One of the things for me was

39:02

alright. I I I was like I said, I was furloughed from my job.

39:06

Lose I was getting extra money, And

39:09

what I decided to do was I was gonna help I was gonna develop my

39:13

skills. I was gonna I was I'm invested in quality equipment. I I got

39:17

me a a Great mic. Got me a RODEcaster Pro.

39:21

I started taking courses on on

39:25

Editing video, editing audio, just things that I wanted to improve

39:29

on because I felt like people were giving me something very precious, which is

39:32

their time. And I wanted to give make sure that I was giving them

39:36

the best quality available. So I want like I said, I invested

39:40

in equipment in myself Because

39:44

I wanted to make sure what I was providing was the best quality.

39:48

Right. It mattered. It matters, and and that's and and and that's when you know

39:52

it's it's something that's important to you. Like, how you do anything is how

39:56

you do everything. Right? So if you start to build that piece of your character

39:59

where I'm I'm gonna do this with with everything that I have. Like,

40:03

I'm gonna I'm gonna give you the best that I have. That starts to show

40:06

up in every area of your life. Right? Your self care, your relationships, The

40:10

way that you you put these shows out, what you do on your 9 to

40:13

5 job, like, it it comes across. It's it's everything. Right? And and one

40:17

of the beautiful pieces of that is the fact that Even for me as an

40:20

entrepreneur, my business is a direct reflection of who I am as a

40:24

man. Like, my business reflects those same values. Right? So

40:28

we talk about I talk about in my personal life, I fight for

40:31

honesty. I I'm caring. I'm driven. I'm committed to

40:35

growth. Those are all stamped all across my

40:38

business and the way that we operate, those same values. Right? Are

40:42

our business core values a little bit different? Yeah. They're tweaked a little bit,

40:46

But there's traces of my values in there, and there's influences

40:50

from my values in there because I want that to be a reflection of

40:54

me. Right? I want that to be that. And that's what happens when you get

40:57

really, really clear on who you are and your purpose and what you're trying to

41:00

do is it starts to leak into things, and then you start to make Decisions

41:04

like that. Right? So, like, you made that decision to invest in quality

41:07

equipment. That's a legacy decision. That's a legacy decision

41:11

versus When you're living on autopilot and you're not sure, you make

41:15

ego decisions, right, because you're ruled by your preferences.

41:18

You're ruled by those momentary impulses. You're ruled by those little feeling in that

41:22

little voice in the back of your head instead of being ruled by

41:26

principles and ruled by values. Right? So, if you're not

41:29

ruled by principle, You will be you will be ruined by

41:33

preferences. I promise you. Like, it's either be ruled by principle or

41:37

ruined by preferences. That's your choice. But if you do the work on

41:41

yourself, you'll be able to make those legacy decisions instead of ego decisions.

41:45

No. Yeah. You're right, man. It's because

41:51

when my wife seen that I was podcasting and do it because I I've

41:55

Spent hours gaming. I used to be a gamer and spent time gaming

41:59

a lot. And when I started podcasting, I just

42:03

Kick that to the side. And my wife goes,

42:08

I know you're serious about this. I she says, I I I know you're serious

42:11

about this because You have not touched a PlayStation. You completely

42:14

abandoned it. It's comp collecting dust over there. He says,

42:18

alright. So you you love doing this. You're passionate about this.

42:23

What do I need to do? What can I do to help you

42:27

make this profitable? Make this Worth

42:31

what where it is because she she started seeing all these these

42:35

these YouTube words and all that. She's like, wow. She's like and she's

42:38

and she and she does not watch any of my episodes. She's my biggest

42:42

fan, but she's like, I speak to you enough at

42:46

home. I don't need to hear you

42:49

anywhere else, but she does wear my shirts and wear my so

42:53

she she is my biggest fan that hasn't listened to an episode yet.

42:57

But the fact that she could easily been like, you're dude. You're 40

43:01

something years old. What do you mean you wanna start a podcast? What do you

43:05

what do you mean? No. Don't you got some you know, something better else to

43:07

do? Like, don't you no. She's seen that I was passionate about it, and I

43:11

love doing it. And she's actually encouraged. She's like, Alright. So she helped me start

43:14

my LLC. She helped me start RealWise Productions and get that off the ground.

43:19

And to have someone that's supportive and and pushing

43:22

me and and inspiring and and just like she see she sees the

43:26

vision. And to have someone lift that is like, oh,

43:30

man. I'm like, I'm so blessed. People could feel

43:34

it, man. People could feel it. When you're doing something that's aligned with your vision,

43:37

people can feel that. Right? And and especially people that care about you, like,

43:41

they get it. You know? Somebody just said the other day, Olympians

43:45

don't have to apologize when they go train. Right? Like, nobody in their family expects

43:49

them to apologize. Right? And it's the same

43:52

concept with this. When you're chasing something that's aligned with your vision,

43:56

you don't have to apologize because they get it. You if they truly care about

44:00

you, if they truly want the best for you, they understand it. And not only

44:03

that, they support it, and they look for opportunities to support it because they see

44:07

that it's fulfilling you. They see that it's bringing you something, that

44:10

that's hard to find, and, you know, it's it's it's conversation I

44:14

have a lot probably too often with people where they're like, you know, I have

44:18

this passion, but it's dumb, or I have this passion, but, you know, my wife

44:21

hates it. I'm like, You know, don't don't do that to yourself. Like, there's a

44:24

lot of people that go through life trying to find something to care about,

44:28

and so if you have something that lights you up, man, Find a

44:32

way, you know, one way or another, and, obviously, you know, you gotta figure out

44:36

your marital issues or whatever those you know, your spousal issues or your friend issues

44:39

or your family issues. Whatever it is, gotta figure that stuff out,

44:43

but don't let go of that passion. Like, if something lights you up and something

44:47

truly gives you meaning and makes you feel like, hey. I wanna get out of

44:50

bed tomorrow do this. I'm excited. You know, that's that's so

44:53

precious, man. That is so precious. Like, I don't know if you've ever had a

44:57

conversation with somebody and you hit especially somebody new,

45:01

and you hit on something and they their face lights up and they start talking

45:04

real fast, they get really excited, and then all of a sudden, they go, I'm

45:07

sorry. I'm rambling. Right? Like, I hate that. I'm like, dude, don't don't apologize.

45:11

No. No. Keep going. Pour that out. Pour that out because that's

45:15

I've noticed now that The conversations

45:19

I have are I don't have unnecessary conversations. Let's put it like that. Like, The

45:26

conversations that I have now are more meaningful. Con when I really

45:30

spent hours talking to all times talking to someone, They're

45:33

meaningful. They're they're they have some substance to it. They have they have they

45:37

have importance. They so the people like,

45:41

when I first started podcasting, I didn't know anyone in the podcasting industry.

45:44

Right? But when I start I kept grinding and doing what I'm doing, and I'm

45:48

started building these relationships and people Seeing like, okay. This dude is serious about

45:52

his craft. He's serious about podcasting. So now I'm attracting

45:56

the people that are where I wanna be And are teaching

45:59

me how to get there because they see how dedicated I

46:03

am. They I have people mentoring me that don't they don't

46:07

don't have to do it. They don't have to waste their time to mentor me

46:10

or to show, but they see that I'm dedicated and I'm serious about what I'm

46:14

doing, that they're, like they they look forward to sitting down and talking.

46:19

I've had people offer coaching that that people pay them do it,

46:23

but they're like, I see this driving you. That's I I wanna work with

46:27

you. You're making people bet on you. Right? That's Yeah. That's cool, and that being

46:30

an entrepreneur. Right? That's being an entrepreneur, And it's it's curating

46:34

your social circle too. Like, when you get to a certain point, I

46:38

I was fortunate because I got to learn this as a coach. Right? You kinda

46:41

had to when I got to division 1, I had to kinda be careful about

46:44

who I surrounded myself with. I had to just be more aware of

46:47

it Because 1 video, 1 not that I do dumb things that are gonna get

46:51

me fired, but 1 out of context statement, 1 out of context

46:55

video could could burn me. Right? Could ruin everything. And

46:58

so you get really aware of, like, who am I surrounding myself with? And then

47:02

as I got deeper into Self development and deeper into becoming the

47:05

best version of myself, and I really started to raise and rise up through

47:09

coaching. I was like, oh, not only Am I,

47:12

like, careful about who I'm surrounding myself with? I want the people that I do

47:16

surround myself with to be pushing me to be better and be bringing value to

47:20

the table, And now it's my responsibility. Like, I wanna feel like

47:24

I have to keep up with my social circle. And when I say keep up,

47:27

I don't mean materialistically. I mean, like, growing. Like, I need to keep

47:30

growing so that I continue to bring something to the table. Right? Like,

47:34

I need to keep earning my way back into my own friend group because

47:38

they're growing. You know? And so that that's really, really important to me. But what

47:42

you realize is as you go, you kinda develop these 3 layers of

47:45

friends. Right? So you have, like, this outside layer that

47:49

I I just call them connections. Like, these are people that, you know, you

47:53

like to have a beer with once in a while. Maybe you play golf with

47:56

them. You watch football with them, play fantasy, whatever. Right? But you're not

48:00

having in-depth conversations. You're not having deep stuff. And the

48:03

thing with them is you have to make sure that those people are

48:07

getting Access and influence to you on your terms. Right? So we

48:11

can't be on their terms. It's gotta be on my terms because I can't let

48:14

you have so much influence on me. Otherwise, it's gonna slow me down. Right? And

48:17

I can't let you have access on me because you're gonna pull my my attention

48:21

on the things that aren't helping me. Right? And so you have that outside

48:24

layer The the the middle layer then, your next layer in

48:28

is gonna be your team. Like, these are people that are on the same

48:32

page with you. These are people that you you love. Right? So you

48:35

like you like the people on the outside. You love the people on the 2nd

48:39

layer, and these are people that are on your team. They want the best for

48:42

you. They understand your vision, your mission, your values. They wanna support

48:45

you. Yeah. They're maybe not on the same level as you growth

48:49

wise yet, but they're getting there. Right? So I I I think of these people

48:52

like your watch list. Like, these are the people that are like, hey. These these

48:56

people have a future. Right? And then inside the that core

48:59

group, that's your tribe. Those are the people that go to war with you on

49:03

a daily basis. These are people to me that I like, I love, and

49:07

I respect. All 3. Right in the middle, and I keep them

49:11

close, man. And I and I I feel a responsibility to that group of

49:14

people that's investing in me. Like you said, those mentors, Those people

49:18

that I spend time with on a daily basis, like, those people are

49:22

investing in me. It's my responsibility to invest in myself so that I can pour

49:25

back into the group so that I can make sure I'm bringing value to them.

49:29

And and I think that's a really valuable lesson to learn,

49:33

and it's Tough because people move within the layers. Right? Like, as you

49:36

grow and as you move up, like, people move within those layers, and and I

49:40

say all the time, like, Access doesn't guarantee a in a in an

49:44

extended stay. Like, just because you're in here in this level at one point in

49:48

my life doesn't mean you're here forever. You know what I mean? And,

49:52

I think that's that's tough for people to swallow sometimes, and I I don't mean

49:55

it in a toxic way. Like, I don't cut people off in a

49:59

violent way in my life. I just don't do it. But But what I do

50:02

do is I'm hypervigilant about the fact that some people get

50:06

altitude sickness. Right? So what I mean by that is I'm climbing the

50:10

mountain, man, and I want you to come with me. I'll bring as many of

50:13

you as I can, but I can't slow down and I can't stop.

50:17

So if you can't if you get altitude sickness and you can't breathe on the

50:20

way up the mountain, you're gonna have to wait here until you catch your breath,

50:23

and then you can try and catch up with us. Right? I'll throw a rope

50:26

down when I get to the top, but I can't slow down for you. And

50:30

if they truly care about you, they understand that, and they respect that.

50:33

No. And then that's something that we all need to learn is that everybody

50:37

can't. Everybody's not gonna come along for a journey. Everyone And that's

50:41

okay. And and it is. It is okay. And as as much as you want

50:44

everyone to come along for that journey, That that's not their

50:47

path. It it it it's just not it's not meant for them.

50:52

And maybe it is 5 years from now. Maybe it is 3 years from now.

50:55

Like, Yeah. At the so here's a perfect example. Me and my business partner,

50:59

we were close in high school. Like I said at the at the beginning of

51:02

the show, we were really close in high school. We drifted apart. He went his

51:05

way. I went my way. We we kinda got back together later in college.

51:09

Like, we started to hang out a little bit more, And then I started to

51:13

really that was when I really buckled down on coaching. I really buckled down on

51:16

self improvement, and I really dialed everything in. So my

51:20

social circle got very, very small. Mhmm. And at that point, he was probably

51:24

on the outside like a connection. Like, we knew each other. We were still

51:27

friends, but we never hung out. We never really talked. Like, if

51:31

aside from, like, hey. How was the game? Right? And then

51:35

flash forward all these years later, man, I I launched this business,

51:38

And I meet with him, and we talk, and he's in a whole different place

51:41

in his life. And he's had a son. He's married. He's

51:45

he's got all these things going for him, and now He's at a place where,

51:49

like, dude, not me and him are growing at the same speed. Right? So just

51:52

because you grow apart for a season, doesn't mean you're apart for a lifetime.

51:56

Right? So you just gotta let people work their process. Like, you can try and

51:59

bring people along, but you can't force it. And when you do try and force

52:03

that stuff on people, It feels really condescending, and to me, it's

52:07

disrespectful of the relationship. Like, I'm not gonna try and force you to be

52:10

something that I'm not be that you're not because it's not authentic. I wanna be

52:14

surrounded by people that are authentic, people that are the real selves. And

52:18

if I'm forcing you to be something, then that's not authentic. That's not a

52:22

real relationship. Right? That becomes transactional. That's me projecting

52:25

my perceptions of the world and how it should be onto you. That's not fair.

52:29

Right? So I'd rather you just be you, follow your journey. I'll support you in

52:32

any way I can, but I gotta limit the access and influence. And then

52:36

when you're ready to rejoin the tribe, door's open, bro.

52:41

Yeah. No. You're absolutely right. Yeah. There's sometimes

52:44

like, the situations where You try to help

52:48

people, but if they don't wanna help themselves, if they they

52:52

if they're not trying to make a change for themselves,

52:56

Then you can't let that hold you back. You can't let that

53:00

bring you down. No. So you have to keep keep going ahead, going ahead.

53:04

And now you said, Maybe down the line, I dropped a a rope and and

53:07

pulled you up with me, but you gotta have to wanna do it. You

53:11

gotta have to grab well, you're gonna have to wanna grab the rope and pull

53:14

yourself up as well. Now I can't be doing all the polling. Right.

53:17

Exactly, man. Exactly. Like I said, man, some people get altitude

53:21

sickness, and that's alright. That's alright, Ryan. It's like on the airplanes. What do they

53:24

say? You gotta put your own mask on first. 1st. Yeah. Put your own mask

53:28

on. Perfect. Other people. Yeah. Because if I slow down, I'm

53:31

not just were I'm not just letting you down because I'm not gonna take longer

53:35

to get to where we're going. I'm also letting down all the other people that

53:38

I I'm trying to impact. I'm now I'm also letting down all the people in

53:42

my family. I'm letting down all the people that bet on me, those mentors that

53:45

gave me a chance, the coaches that looked up to me, the the people that

53:48

brought me into their businesses, You know, my family like, I'm letting all these other

53:52

people down because I'm trying to wait for a few relationships in my life to

53:55

catch up. That that's not right. It can't work that way. You know? So

53:59

my my saying is I still wanna see you eat, just not at my

54:03

table right now. That's all. It's nothing personal, man. And that's something that's

54:07

something Pac said. Tupac actually said that. He's like, yeah. I mean, I said,

54:10

I I said, I don't hate you, man, and and there's nothing against you.

54:14

And I want you to eat, but just you can't eat at my table. And

54:17

I and that's and that's fully understandable. It's fully understandable because some people

54:21

just are not prepared to eat at your table. Correct. They're just not

54:25

prepared. Correct. But, David, man, this has been wonderful, man.

54:28

Like, almost a hour, we it just flew by. But, yo, bro, this has

54:32

been great, man. I had a I've I've really enjoyed this conversation. Now is

54:36

the part of the show where you get the solo layout, and you get to

54:39

plug away, bro. Damn, man. I appreciate it, brother. Well, you

54:43

know, the the number one thing for me that I always try and leave people

54:46

with is is something that we said earlier in the show. It's leaders are built,

54:49

not born. All this stuff is is open to avail open and available to anybody

54:53

that is willing to do the work. You know, you can connect with me on

54:57

any social media. Keep it simple. I'm at coach d

55:00

Kitch on every social. Our website is edgeleadershipacademy.com.

55:05

We do have a new Cohort of our mentorship group that will be opening up

55:09

here in a couple weeks. So if you wanna get preregistered for that, reach out

55:12

to me. That's called the table, because everybody wants to bring something to

55:16

it and everybody wants to see that. So our mentorship group is called that. We

55:19

also have a couple 1 on 1 slots Coaching available for mindset coaching,

55:23

sales coaching, leadership coaching. And then, obviously, if you wanna bring us in to

55:27

work with your university or your organization, we're available for

55:31

that well through the spring. So it's edge leadership academy.com

55:35

for all of those links. And if you can't find what you're looking for, just

55:37

connect with me on social media, like I said, ag coach d Kitch. So thank

55:41

you so much for having me on, brother. This has been phenomenal. You got a

55:44

great platform, great people. Keep doing what you're doing, man.

55:48

Thank you, man. I greatly appreciate it, man. I really do it. This this has

55:52

been a wonderful conversation. I've had a great time speaking to you.

55:56

I always extend this this open door policy here, bro. So

56:01

next year or whatever, anything, you got any program that you wanna come on, promote,

56:05

Shoot me a message. We'll have you back on, and I love

56:09

having repeat guest on. I I love the fact because then because I get to

56:12

see where where they're at. They get to see where I'm at. So it I

56:15

I enjoy having people come on multiple times on the show, so you're always welcome

56:19

to come back on the show. Thank you. Thank you so much, man.

56:23

Thank you. But don't leave just yet. Let me close out the show and me

56:26

and you chat a little bit. And, Alright. So it is time for shout

56:35

outs, man. Big shout out to the snowman. Thank you for coming through.

56:39

Everybody who's Catching the replay. Thank you. Subscribe, like,

56:43

and share it. I greatly appreciate it. Man, big

56:47

shout out to my real wise fan, Papi j, Brandy j. Love you Guys,

56:51

big shout out to the boss lady. Appreciate and love you, baby, and

56:54

appreciate you. Big shout out to Our

56:58

guest, David Kitchen, for coming through and sharing his story and

57:01

sharing, his fantastic knowledge, man. I it was

57:05

wonderful. I had a great time. And as always, a

57:08

big, big shout out to all the essential workers out there. God bless.