0:44

And welcome to another episode of stuck in my mind

0:48

podcast. I'm your host, w I z e. And

0:52

my well, actually, let me, thank everybody for all

0:55

the kind words and and and

1:00

all the the, the love you support you've shown me and my family

1:04

and and I would say I'm a need. For those that don't know,

1:08

my mother passed away last Saturday, and we just

1:12

got back from Birmingham, Puerto Rico. But, I'm

1:16

greatly appreciative of all the messages and all the love and support

1:19

everybody sent. But, thank you so much,

1:23

man. I really do appreciate everybody's everybody's

1:27

support. But now I'm excited. I'm back to to doing

1:31

what I love podcasting. This is this is my outlet. This

1:34

is my safe place and where I get to express

1:38

myself, and I know she would be proud of what we're we're accomplishing here.

1:41

So, just just

1:45

thank you, everyone. Just thank but now let's just get back into the show.

1:49

My next guest is a fellow podcaster. She has a a great story to

1:53

share. She she's she's overcome a lot in her life, and I'm excited

1:57

to have her. Welcome to the show, Kathryn Lewis.

2:02

Hey. Thank you so much for having me, and I do wanna say

2:06

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you very much. It it

2:09

was we we it was, we knew it was happening,

2:13

and it it it it wasn't a surprise to us. But,

2:17

either way, it was it was still something very,

2:23

it's been it's been it's been kind of surreal for

2:26

me. Like, I I I've, honestly, I've never imagined

2:30

a world without her. So it said have her not here

2:35

is kinda it's

2:38

still, again, like, not not I'm not used

2:42

to it. And then and, of course, it's only been a week.

2:45

So but, anyway, thank you for coming

2:49

on the show. I appreciate you stopping by.

2:53

Let's let's just jump right into it. Can can you share the story behind the

2:57

title of your podcast, Opportunity Made, and what does it

3:00

mean to you personally? Absolutely. So opportunity made is all about how we can

3:08

make opportunities in our own lives.

3:12

And a lot of times we have different beliefs or ideas that

3:16

hold us back. So we may see someone creating that

3:19

company or achieving that dream and being on the fast route and we

3:23

just feel behind or we feel like we'll never get there. And the message that

3:27

I really wanna send with the shows that we do,

3:31

is how anyone anywhere can overcome any barrier. It's

3:34

just about having patience and persistence. So for you, you might have the

3:38

same dream as me. Maybe it takes you a year, maybe it takes me 10

3:42

because of the resources that we each have uniquely available, the

3:46

demographics, the privilege, the previous exposure, education,

3:50

all of those variables go into it, but it doesn't mean that we can't

3:53

achieve it. So in the end, we can all get to whatever opportunity we

3:57

want. We just need to have that patience and persistence. And so it's

4:00

all a matter of telling those stories of people who have overcome incredible

4:04

barriers and how they still create the life that they want.

4:09

Okay. So you your your journey involves a,

4:14

a reconnection with with your father after 13 years.

4:18

I I have a little kinda experience with something like this.

4:22

I I hadn't had any connection with my father for over

4:26

25 years, and

4:30

we do re we reunited. And a

4:34

month so after we reunited, I went to go

4:37

visit him, and he he passed away. So it was it was

4:41

bittersweet, but I know a little something of reconnecting

4:45

with your father and everything. How was that experience for you?

4:49

First of all, I just wanna say that that is

4:54

amazing in a way that you got to reconnect before

4:57

he passed away. And so, what like a

5:01

beautiful moment. What a blessing in your life that that could happen.

5:05

Because I know there are so many people out there who don't get to reconnect

5:08

at all. And it's not until after they lose someone that they're

5:12

like, why didn't I do more? Why didn't we reconcile?

5:16

Or why this, that? You start asking all of those questions.

5:20

So I'm just really grateful that that you had that. And now let's go back

5:23

to your question. You're gonna have to ask it again for me. So

5:27

what what how was the reconnection with your father after

5:31

13 years of not having a relationship with him?

5:34

Yeah. So we broke off our

5:38

relationship when I was 13. It was my

5:42

initiative. I came to him and said, you know, hey. I I don't want

5:45

you in my life anymore. And

5:49

that was very hurtful for him, but he was very gracious

5:53

in stepping back and giving me the space that I was asking

5:57

for. Fast forward 13 years later, I'm

6:01

in my mid twenties and we

6:04

both grew and matured to a place where we could come back together

6:08

and we could reestablish that relationship. We had tried

6:12

multiple times, in the years prior and we

6:15

we still were too raw and we had too much hurt to

6:19

where we could easily trigger each other and and easily

6:23

reinvoke that anger and that pain.

6:27

And we eventually came to this place after those 13

6:31

years where we were pretty healthy and we could

6:34

forgive and we could say, okay, you know, just know that I

6:38

need this boundary in place and I know that you need that boundary in place

6:42

in order for this to be functional. But it

6:45

is just been absolutely incredible. When you think about those 13 years

6:49

that he wasn't there, that's me coming into my prime maturing

6:53

as a young woman and learning a whole bunch of different things about

6:57

life, going through college, starting a career. And it's I mean, you

7:00

always need your parents, but that's definitely a time in life when, I

7:04

definitely could have used my dad for a lot of guidance and different things

7:08

and didn't have that. So I'm getting that now and it's kind of

7:12

like making up for lost time. Not that you really can, but we're

7:15

creating those special memories. I have him to guide me. I get

7:19

to have input into his life. So it

7:22

is beautiful and I'm just so grateful because I could have forgiven him and

7:26

come back to him and said, I want a relationship and he could have said

7:30

no, or he could have been bitter and resentful, and,

7:33

he wasn't. And so I'm very grateful. So

7:37

as as a, multifaceted individual with

7:41

experience in education, technology, and advocacy,

7:46

How do you integrate all these diverse elements

7:50

into your life and work? Yeah.

7:54

So I have a pretty diverse background. I have a lot of

7:57

experience or high level experience in a lot of different areas.

8:01

And it they crossover, but it also lends me to

8:05

doing a lot of different things. So, I have multiple roles

8:08

within my day job. I run a nonprofit on the side. I'm on a couple

8:12

of different boards. And so I really have a wide

8:16

variety of interests and show up in

8:19

many different spaces but they they cross over quite a

8:23

bit. For instance, I have a background just

8:26

in working with students talking about emotional intelligence and

8:30

leadership and advocacy and change and then I can bring that into

8:34

my day job when I'm working on promoting digital accessibility

8:38

and looking at how do we create products that work for all

8:42

people everywhere. So that's bringing in that emotional intelligence and

8:45

leadership. There's so there's quite a bit of crossover.

8:49

Okay. Alright. So the Leon Foundation of Excellence

8:53

focuses on helping you feel inter intergenerational

8:57

patterns of trauma. What inspired you to create this

9:01

foundation, and what impact have you witnessed so

9:05

far from the foundation? Yeah. So it really

9:09

started from a place of pain. That's where, like, a lot of services

9:12

and products and companies get started is we have a pain point. And

9:16

so for me, that pain was going through that journey of healing,

9:20

all of the anger that I had within myself

9:24

around my own childhood and, and losing

9:27

my father, even though I recognized that I asked him to leave, but it still

9:31

was a form of loss. And so I read

9:35

a ton of books. Luckily I was able to go to

9:38

therapy. I would seek out mentors and I had to go through this

9:42

whole healing process, not by myself

9:46

because I had this village of people around me, but there weren't other people

9:50

who were simultaneously going through that journey who were my age and

9:54

kind of seeking the same goal. And I realized that

9:58

not many people are going through this, you know, when they're 13, 14 and

10:01

thinking about, okay, how do I heal these intergenerational patterns? And so I

10:05

wanted to create a community around that. It was my

10:09

senior year in college when I formed the Leon Foundation of

10:12

Excellence and it's focused on building foundations

10:16

of excellence courage and bravery. You

10:20

need that in order courage and bravery. You need that in order to heal these patterns

10:27

and do that inner work. So we created a community and we've been

10:31

operating for 8 years. We've been mostly in

10:34

Colorado in the United States, but then when the pandemic hit, we

10:38

went international and it was pretty incredible.

10:42

We've been able to serve 100 of students and help

10:46

them kick start that journey. So start looking at those

10:49

patterns that get passed down between the generations

10:53

and how do you heal that. So it's not necessarily therapy, but it's those

10:57

initial steps to get you moving in that direction and recognize,

11:00

okay, what do I actually need help on and what kind of help do I

11:04

need and how do I break this cycle? So that way, let's

11:07

say, my grandfather was abusive towards my

11:11

father and my father was abusive towards me. How do I stop that and heal

11:15

that so I'm not replicating the same thing with my children

11:19

or swinging to the opposite side, the other extreme because I don't

11:22

wanna be like them and I become too passive as an

11:26

example. And so it's coming back to this healthy middle ground,

11:30

and that's what the organization is helping young people do.

11:34

Okay. Can can, in in your opinion, how does childhood trauma affect one's path

11:42

to finding purpose and and per,

11:46

purpose and focusing on personal I'm

11:49

sorry. I'm my camera's going wacky on me.

11:53

It's all good. When we are,

11:57

I'll just start with the first part of that question. When we're looking at

12:02

those patterns of trauma, let's say we have a pattern of

12:05

poverty in our family. We may make different choices around our

12:09

purpose. We'll have different beliefs around what we're capable of doing.

12:13

So if we have been raised in poverty, you know, our grandparents

12:17

were poor, our parents were poor, we were raised in poverty, We might have 2

12:20

different responses. As an example, we might say,

12:24

I absolutely don't want this and I'm gonna go to the complete other

12:28

side. And that means that you are driving yourself. You're

12:31

pushing. You're working super hard to get out of

12:35

that spot and to have this career. Now there's nothing necessarily wrong with

12:39

that unless we're coming from this place of not running

12:42

towards something, but running away from being poor to where we

12:46

just cannot absolutely ever go back to that

12:50

experience. And then we're probably in an unhealthy way

12:53

driving ourselves to this other extreme.

12:57

Or we succumb to that pattern and we say,

13:01

you know what? Like, my whole family has always been poor. It's all

13:05

that I know. It's all that I've been exposed to. This is just the way

13:08

that my life is and that's what you stay in. And then

13:12

you're gonna spend money and you're gonna make career decisions and you're going

13:16

to care about school in the way that like a poor mindset

13:20

would. And so it's that's gonna change your

13:23

purpose in life and that's gonna change the story that you write for yourself and

13:27

the decisions that you make. And so we can recognize, alright, there's

13:31

these patterns and that has exposed me to certain types of behavior

13:35

and ways of life and there might actually be something else out

13:38

there. You can go and and change your purpose

13:42

and seek something else. And then again, you don't wanna go to the other extreme,

13:46

but eventually over time come back to that middle and say, I'm not necessarily

13:49

running away from my past. I know I'm okay where I am now.

13:53

And I I can be driven. I can be ambitious, but I don't have to

13:56

kill myself to get to the other side because I'm trying to stay away

14:00

from what I once knew. Okay.

14:04

So can can you share a specific moment of or realization that prompted

14:08

you to shift from seeking affirmation and

14:11

affirmation and relationships to focusing on your personal

14:15

development? Because that's something that's very key is that

14:19

people don't really realize is that your personal

14:22

development is is is is something that that's very

14:26

important. So how did you

14:30

get started on on on developing yourself, and

14:34

and and what sets you on that path?

14:38

Yeah. So when I was, young,

14:41

probably about the same time that I ended that relationship

14:45

with my father, I then was looking for significance

14:49

and value and worth in other ways. Right? So when I was young, I felt

14:52

neglected, I felt felt abandoned. I felt unworthy, all of these different things.

14:57

And then I lost a source, my father who,

15:00

you know, inherently we all know they're supposed to affirm our worth and our significance.

15:04

They're supposed to care for us. That's the role that they take on. And so

15:08

in losing that, I started to look for it in other places

15:11

and specifically work. Now being in school

15:15

at the time, the work was academics, sports,

15:19

after school curriculars, internships, and then that continued

15:23

on to into college. And then in my professional setting, it was, you

15:27

know, building companies and taking on board positions and all of this kind of

15:30

stuff. And so that led to a good

15:34

10 or more years of just driving myself,

15:38

pushing all the time. I was working 7 days a week, probably

15:41

16 to 19 hour days, sleeping

15:45

for 4 hours ish, you know, something like that. It just was really,

15:48

really crazy and unhealthy. And it was

15:52

coming from this place of seeking significance, seeking that

15:56

affirmation, seeking that worth and purpose. And then

16:00

finally, over time and through making a bunch of

16:03

messes and stumbling quite a bit, I realized

16:08

like that's not ever going to be enough. And what

16:12

I mean by that is like there's no amount of work that I can possibly

16:15

do that's ever going to affirm my worth and that's the wrong source to go

16:19

to to get that from. And that instead that

16:22

comes just from like the very nature of how I was

16:26

created. Like I was created as someone, as

16:29

we all are, as someone who has inherent value and worth

16:33

and there's nothing that I need to do to prove it. And if I have

16:37

people around me who can't demonstrate it to me in the way that I like

16:41

or in in a way that's healthy, that doesn't mean that I'm

16:44

unworthy. It just means that they need more tools in their tool belt, that they

16:48

need more practice, that they need more awareness, as

16:52

do I probably for them to demonstrate their worth in the way

16:56

that they need it to be affirmed. So it was it

16:59

was a a long journey, but that freed me and

17:03

allowed me to then let go of a lot of extra responsibilities

17:07

and to not drive myself so much, take time off, like,

17:10

have more of a life outside of work. So it was a significant shift.

17:17

As we mentioned earlier, you're you're a podcast host. How how

17:21

which but your podcast often features raw and down to

17:25

earth conversations. How do you approach vulnerability, and what

17:29

do you hope your listeners take away from these conversations?

17:34

Yeah. I love podcasting so much because there are so many

17:38

like, it it truly is a pleasure because there are so many moments.

17:41

When we're just having a conversation, that's all that it is. And in that conversation,

17:46

people are opening up and sharing things and we're having this dialogue.

17:49

Where live on the show, they realize things about themselves, about their journey,

17:53

about their story, their patterns, and you can see them go,

17:57

woah. You know, I wasn't I wasn't expecting to recognize that in this

18:00

moment. And in terms of vulnerability,

18:05

it's been a long journey to learn how to be vulnerable.

18:09

I used to be a very prideful person where I have to

18:13

have this perfect story. And so you're not gonna be able to see behind

18:17

what I want you to see. You're not gonna be able to see the messes.

18:20

You're not gonna be able to see my pain. You're not gonna be able to

18:22

see the ways that I'm broken, and have have

18:26

room for growth. And over time, you you

18:30

learn through life that everyone is broken in different ways. And what I

18:33

mean by that is we all have faults. We all have things even

18:37

in our in our bodies that aren't working correctly. Nobody

18:41

has it all together. No one knows exactly what to do on their

18:44

job. You know, no one knows where their path is is going particularly.

18:49

And so when you recognize that everyone is having the same

18:52

experience in the same boat and you can acquire some humility,

18:56

then it's very easy to have these conversation. It's like, let's just talk about

19:00

life. Let's just say it how it is because that's

19:04

gonna help us grow so much more and connect on a much deeper

19:08

level than all of these,

19:12

socially acceptable conversations, right? And talking about things

19:15

that keep it all pretty and like it looks, it looks like it's together. So,

19:21

you know, and and it's been beautiful because they're the shows tend to be

19:25

pretty long. They tend to be an hour to 2 hours, sometimes

19:29

more. I have another one that's coming out that I think is about 3 hours

19:32

long. And, it's you just get in the flow

19:35

and you're just able to talk about what's real and what's true and what you're

19:38

going through. And time goes by so fast in that way because

19:42

you're not pretending, you're not trying to structure it in

19:46

a certain way or make people get a particular message.

19:51

Oh, no. I I I agree with you. When I first started

19:55

podcasting, I had a couple I had a couple

19:58

episodes that that were extremely long as as a 2

20:02

part 2 part series. So once it was, like, 3 hours me and this

20:06

and this, young man spoke for, and it it was

20:11

it's been a great experience. Like I said earlier, this for me

20:15

is my therapy. This is for this is for me where I get to

20:19

to share what what I'm experiencing now with the loss of my

20:23

mom, what I've experienced in the past, where this

20:27

this podcast journey has taken me.

20:30

And I I can remember the first few episodes

20:34

like they were yesterday, and

20:38

it's it's been an amazing ride to see

20:42

the growth and the the development of myself

20:46

from when I first started to where I'm at

20:50

now, having these wonderful conversations with these experts

20:53

and having some beautiful

20:57

just so they're just so energizing, some

21:01

of these conversations. And to have that, at

21:05

first, I was like I felt kind of selfish because I was

21:08

enjoying a lot of these conversations, and

21:12

it was like, man, I'm learning so much. I'm I'm

21:16

I'm getting so much from doing these interviews and

21:19

from speaking to these people. But then I

21:23

guess the I guess point out that you're not being selfish because,

21:27

first of all, I'm trying to I'm I'm wanting to learn and grow and

21:31

develop. Second of all, I'm sharing it with my audience,

21:36

and and they're getting to experience this, and they're getting to learn and grow with

21:39

me. And so when when they said it that way, I was like,

21:43

okay. I I understand. I get it now. And it it's

21:46

been one heck of a ride, man. I've

21:50

I've loved all these conversations because

21:55

it's so much fun to realize that when you when you speak to someone,

21:59

and and I've spoken to people all over the world.

22:03

I've spoken to people in Japan, India,

22:06

Australia, Dubai, all over almost

22:10

every state here in the United States. And it's been

22:15

it's been it's been a a a great experience. It it's been something

22:19

that I am thankful and blessed to be able to

22:22

do. Yeah.

22:26

Absolutely. That's what's so cool about this is you can speak with anyone anywhere.

22:30

And what are what are the chances of everyone meeting in this way?

22:34

I mean, I I probably would never meet someone who's, you know, as

22:38

you mentioned, like maybe Dubai or wherever it may be.

22:42

It so it connects us all in a way that wouldn't otherwise be

22:46

possible. And here we are strangers coming together having these deep

22:49

conversations, and it truly is a unique experience.

22:54

Yeah. As a woman in the

22:58

technology space, how have you navigated challenges and

23:01

opportunities in the field that historically has been

23:05

male dominated? Yeah. It

23:09

has been, and and in many ways, it is. And there's

23:12

definitely been some challenging moments,

23:17

conversations where, you know, sometimes you feel like, you know, you're the only

23:20

female in the room and you feel like you're being talked over and stuff like

23:23

that. But it's honestly been beautiful because,

23:28

when I'm working with a group of women versus working with a

23:32

group of men, there is a different dynamic there. And being able to learn how

23:36

to navigate both is another aspect of the job that's intriguing.

23:40

It does require you to stand up, to speak up, to have

23:44

certain boundaries, to say certain things, but that's required across the

23:48

board regardless. It might just be a different kind of

23:51

conversation than if you were in a different space. And,

23:55

so for me, I would say that it's an exciting challenge.

23:59

It's not something that is like a

24:03

negative or is suppressive. But I will say for

24:07

anyone who is looking to get into the tech

24:10

industry, especially a woman who's looking to get into the tech

24:14

industry. When I first started out, I was very much,

24:18

hesitant about that, and I came from a place of

24:21

believing that I wouldn't fit in. That, that typical

24:25

stereotype, that old one that's not true, that I'm a woman and so I can't

24:28

be good at math and science. That held me back for quite a bit. And

24:32

then you come to realize, like, that's not true. You can you can do

24:35

whatever it is that you'd like and you have the capability. It's just

24:39

about learning and giving dedicated time to that.

24:43

And in those moments when you feel insecure, like, keep pressing through. And sometimes

24:47

it's best just to say that. I've had moments where I've said, hey,

24:51

this is how I'm feeling. This is how that experience came off to me.

24:54

What was it like for you? Is that actually accurate? Because I can be

24:58

misinterpreting things and I can have a false filter that's creating a

25:02

more negative experience than what is actually objectively

25:05

happening. Okay.

25:09

Alright. What what because what what advice would you give an individual

25:16

who's who's struggling with being a a workaholic and a

25:20

professionalism perfectionist, what

25:23

what what are challenges you do

25:27

you feel that, you you've

25:31

had because of these with because you you struggle with being a workaholic

25:34

and and a perfectionist. What what advice would you give someone

25:38

struggling with this right now? I can give

25:42

advice that pertains to those 2, but I'll say, from my

25:45

experience, both of those are a form of an addiction. Right?

25:49

It's something that you have to have and you can't let go and you just

25:52

need more and more of. And so whether someone's

25:56

suffering from that or any other kind of addiction, maybe this can be

26:00

applicable for them. There's a couple of things that

26:03

that I have suffered from because of those particular addictions. I mean,

26:07

it's impacted relationships. It's impacted my health. It's

26:11

impacted my self esteem. Ironically,

26:14

when I'm working and doing so much because I'm spread so

26:18

thin, the quality of what I do, it's still good,

26:22

but it's not my absolute best. And so sometimes that

26:26

generates a cycle of being upset with myself, maybe

26:29

some self deprecation or self hatred. And then what do you

26:33

end up doing when you're in that cycle? You work more. It's like, okay, you

26:36

didn't do enough so you gotta do more. When really the best thing to do

26:40

is to step back. Start saying no. Start taking things

26:44

off of your plate. Start recognizing that it's never

26:47

gonna be enough. You're never you'll never reach that end point. And so you

26:51

have to build an end point for yourself. I'm only gonna work 8

26:55

hours a day, 5 days a week or whatever that is, and you have to

26:59

build structure, discipline, and confine yourself.

27:03

Otherwise, you will just keep going and keep consuming,

27:06

keep saying yes to things. The other piece that I would speak to in

27:10

terms of the perfectionism is,

27:14

recognizing that you're already

27:18

perfect. And I say that in a in more of a faith based

27:21

way where it's like you were created exactly as you need to

27:25

be. There's nothing more that you can take away or that you can add. Yes,

27:29

we can always get better, but once you can come to that place where it's

27:32

like, I can just be and I'm good.

27:36

Now what do I wanna go do? What do I wanna fill my time up

27:39

with? What am I gonna choose to experience in life? What am I gonna contribute?

27:43

How am I going to serve? And that can help

27:46

settle some of those incessant, obsessive feelings

27:50

around I have to do more and it's not there yet and it's not

27:54

perfect. The last piece that I'll add in here

27:58

is to come back to what's right before you

28:01

today. So a lot of that workaholism and perfectionism

28:05

is future centered. And it's like, okay,

28:09

I need to do this now so I can get to that in the

28:13

future and then that's gonna lead to the next thing and the next thing. And

28:16

so you're very much focused on what's ahead

28:20

which often leads to anxiety and overwhelm

28:23

and feeling this burden of how am I ever gonna be able to handle

28:27

this. If instead, you can come back to what's right before

28:30

you today and just say, okay, what is my most

28:34

important task? Like, my most important task today

28:38

is this podcast. That was all that I had. And so

28:42

that's what I'm preparing for. That's what I'm showing up for. That's what I'm gonna

28:45

do. And then beyond that, like, I've already won. I've already won the

28:49

day. Anything else that I do, it's fine. If you

28:53

are, you know, a firefighter, the fire that's burning right now

28:57

is the the one that you need to put out. It's not the one that's

28:59

gonna light in an hour from now. You don't need to worry about that one.

29:02

Right? You need to worry about the one that's burning now. So it's that idea

29:06

of what's right before me and how can I just give my all to that

29:09

and we'll deal with the rest of it later?

29:13

Okay. How do you

29:17

balance being being an advocate, an educator, a

29:21

podcaster? And with founding a foundation,

29:25

how do you how do you specifically strategize for

29:28

maintaining balance and focus? Because these are a lot of hats you're

29:32

wearing. Yeah. You know, there's a lot

29:36

of different thoughts around the word balance nowadays.

29:39

Can we actually balance it? Is it actually important to balance it?

29:43

But what I would say is I have a pretty regimented,

29:48

schedule. Now I will take some time at the end of every

29:52

day and I will map out exactly what needs to happen.

29:56

And so I'll be rigid in that moment where I say, okay, here's where I'm,

30:00

you know, working out. Here's where I'm getting ready. Here's where I'm taking that meeting

30:04

and I'm doing this task. But then I also recognize that life

30:07

happens and I don't actually have control. And so

30:11

I will start that next day from a place of surrender.

30:16

Okay? Whatever needs to happen is what's going to happen. So

30:20

show me what needs to happen today and you just start rolling through it and

30:23

making those decisions and you'll get to the end of the day and there's things

30:26

that haven't been done. There's things that took longer than you wanted to.

30:30

There's unexpected things that came up. But

30:36

but it's just having this disposition of that's okay. Like, we did the best that

30:39

we could. You're never gonna be able to balance it, especially

30:42

if you're striving for perfection. I know you can idolize and

30:46

obsess around a schedule. It has to be, you know, perfect and

30:50

I have to get everything done. So it's weighing out how can I be

30:54

regimented and plan ahead, but then how can I hold it lightly

30:58

and just surrender and accept to what's coming? And I think it's

31:01

in that mentality that you can find more balance in your life.

31:05

If you're too rigid or you're too loose, you either,

31:09

are hard on yourself or you're not getting everything done that you could.

31:15

Okay. How do you see the landscape of of personal

31:19

development evolving, especially in the content of the

31:23

challenges people face today? Okay.

31:26

Ask that question again. How do you see

31:30

the landscape of personal development evolving, especially in the

31:34

context of the challenges people face today? Okay.

31:39

That's interesting. There are so many different paths

31:43

for personal development because there are so many different things that people are

31:47

going after. And yet, at the same time, we're kind of

31:50

all going after the same things. We want to be seen, we

31:54

want to be heard, we want to be loved, we want to be

31:57

understood, we want to belong. Right? And so

32:01

that's when people are going after personal development,

32:05

a lot of times they're going after how can I get the lifestyle that

32:09

leads me to feeling those things? Or how can I

32:13

become the person that's gifting those things to other people

32:16

depending on where you're coming from and sometimes it's it's a mix?

32:21

So there are many different ways out there. There are lots of books

32:24

and conferences and workshops and,

32:29

experiences, right? Sometimes we will eat or we'll move

32:33

or we'll do things in certain ways to to give us

32:36

that experience. And so what it looks like moving

32:40

forward, you know, will depend on advances in technology. It'll depend

32:44

on themes in culture. It'll depend on just the general

32:48

ethos and mindset of society. But ultimately, it's still

32:52

is us recreating this wheel and trying to come back to

32:55

feeling those things. And so I found in my own life,

32:59

the more I can limit those inputs, the more I

33:03

can actually get to those basics of how do I be

33:06

seen? How do I be loved? How do I see others? How do I love

33:09

others? And there's really not a whole lot that needs to be

33:13

developed within us to get to that place

33:17

because we already inherently have that need within us. And so we

33:21

have the ability to do those things, to give those things.

33:24

And, it's really clearing out that clutter that brings us

33:28

back to that core, not adding a whole bunch more into

33:32

our lives in order to fulfill that need.

33:36

Okay. What

33:40

what does living out one's divine essence mean to

33:43

you, and how can individuals begin to embody their

33:47

own divine essence? So

33:51

the way I'm going to interpret that is basically being your

33:54

authentic self and, the, you

33:58

know, the way that you were created. Now we're all made

34:02

in a certain way and then we accumulate a lot of beliefs, a

34:05

lot of experiences, a lot of traumas over the course of life.

34:10

And sometimes that weighs us down and turns us into a different kind

34:13

of person. Sometimes we can release that and go

34:17

back to who we were before we we had, you know, these

34:21

hurts and these angers and things like that. But

34:24

for me, that that is a faith journey and that's,

34:29

me letting go of a lot of things that I thought were

34:32

real and mattered for life and realizing that they don't.

34:36

And coming back to what does matter. And

34:40

when I'm focused on like what is most important in life in terms of,

34:45

my faith and in terms of like why we're all here,

34:49

then that allows me again to kind of clear out the clutter of everything

34:52

else. And I'm just focused on the core of who I am.

34:56

And as I'm focused on that core, that core continues to grow. It

34:59

continues to solidify. And then my actions are able to come

35:03

from that place rather than all the pain and all the false

35:07

beliefs that I took on over the years. Yeah. And

35:11

then that's something that it's

35:15

a lot of us has have struggled with is the programming over the

35:18

years. And for me,

35:22

just stripping

35:26

down a lot of the stuff that you learn that

35:30

you're programmed. And

35:34

and for me, really getting into reading more and

35:38

and seeking mentors and and speaking to

35:42

people who are

35:46

where I wanna be at. And Mhmm. And

35:49

being able to to have these kind of, like,

35:53

that's one, like, that's one thing I'm so grateful right now is

35:57

the fact that I've been able to

36:05

make an impact on people's on people's

36:09

lives with the podcast and

36:14

that the the podcast has given me some purpose. Like, when

36:18

I I say this When I first started my podcast,

36:21

I I didn't know what I wanted to do with life. I was 44

36:25

years old. This pandemic had

36:29

hit. It was like, I was out of work. I was

36:32

home. Kinda lost,

36:36

and it gave me a purpose. It gave

36:39

me something that I

36:43

didn't know I was missing. Like, I didn't know that this was gonna be

36:47

something that meant so much to me. I didn't know

36:50

I was gonna love podcast. Yeah. It was just I had

36:54

started getting into listening and watching podcast, and

36:59

I I honestly, I wanted to start a sports podcast.

37:04

And something I just kept making

37:07

excuses to why not. I couldn't do it. And when I

37:11

finally did start podcasting, I

37:14

wanted to discuss self development. I wanted to talk

37:18

about the mindset. I wanted because it was

37:22

something that was affecting me personally at that time. It was, like, something

37:25

that I I wanted to get back to, because

37:30

years before, I I was into self development, and then life happens,

37:35

and you kind of lose your way,

37:40

and and and podcasting has given

37:43

me an opportunity to get back into self development and

37:47

and get back into discovering who I am

37:51

and being my authentic self, being able to be

37:54

me. Like, I don't have to put out the facade for anyone. I can

37:58

actually just be me and not be judged for it, be

38:02

able to to show vulnerability, be able to show that

38:06

as a man. It's okay if I show emotions. It's it's

38:10

okay if I if I show being vulnerable. It's

38:14

there's nothing wrong with it. And so

38:17

being able to do that and have these conversations

38:21

and and realize that, like you said earlier, we all want the

38:25

same thing in life. We all wanna be happy. We all wanna be

38:29

recognized. We want our family to be healthy and and we wanna be

38:32

successful and all these and when you

38:37

when I started having these conversations, I I realized that

38:42

we're different, but, yeah, and at the core of it all, a lot of us

38:46

are the same at what we want in life.

38:52

Yeah. That's so beautiful how through your

38:55

pain, you birth something new. And it's you

38:59

it's also a part of you finding purpose in

39:03

giving back and contributing. Right? You were able to serve others and then you

39:06

felt fulfilled and felt like you had this purpose.

39:10

I'm curious. You mentioned that you had these excuses and

39:14

reasons I can't do this. I can't do this. Well, you're doing it. Like, this

39:17

is I would have never met you if you didn't do it. And so what

39:20

switched you over from that place of I can't to I

39:24

am? For me, it was just I I

39:28

I decided I I decided to face

39:32

fear of because it was

39:35

more of I can't fail if I don't do

39:39

it. Right? So but

39:43

that was my excuse. It's like, oh, I can't I I can't but, technically, I

39:46

had already failed because I didn't go out and do

39:49

it. So for me, it was like, you know what? Let me just stop being

39:53

afraid. The first episode was, like, 5 minutes

39:56

long, And when I when I was about to release

40:00

him, I left him. He was like, no. Let's let's let's work on a little

40:03

bit more. Let's I was like, no. I want people to see

40:07

from where we start, and and and you can see from

40:10

episode 1 to my first

40:14

20 episodes to just lose because it went from, like, 5 minutes to

40:18

10 minutes to so with each episode, it just started growing.

40:23

And with each episode, I just

40:27

gained more and more confidence. It it

40:31

was just like something like, oh, man. I can do this.

40:35

And so when and and I when I really,

40:39

really started really wanting to get into podcasting

40:43

and everything, like, when I once I really truly immersed myself in

40:47

everything because, like, for the 1st few months, I didn't do

40:52

thumbnails. I didn't do descriptions. I barely had titles.

40:57

I just wanted to release it. I just wanted to just I

41:00

was just challenging myself just to get it out. But then when

41:04

when I started, people started listening and and

41:08

friends started commenting and all this stuff, then I started doing

41:12

the, the thumbnails. I started adding

41:15

descriptions. I started adding all these different things,

41:20

and it just started growing and growing. And and then

41:24

last year, I started doing

41:29

automation. I weekly emails,

41:32

building my my email list, building my subscriber list and all this

41:36

stuff. And then the show really started

41:40

growing. And it was like,

41:43

okay. Like, I went from

41:47

8,000 downloads my first year and a

41:50

half, almost 2 years, till

41:56

2023 going over 16,000

42:00

downloads. So, basically, doubling what I've did my first two and a

42:04

half years. Wow. And that to me was amazing.

42:08

Mhmm. It it was like, oh, man. And and

42:12

it's because I started doing certain

42:16

things, and I I really

42:20

started learning about

42:23

podcasting, really started focusing on little things that I that I

42:27

didn't do when I when I first started. And

42:31

it it it's it's really

42:35

been an amazing ride to see

42:40

where I've come from, to where I'm at now, where,

42:44

as far as my audio podcast, I've released

42:48

episode 220. Hey. Yeah.

42:52

220 episodes. And that's not counting.

42:56

Well, like, all the other stuff, like, the video. Because

43:00

when I originally started, I was just strictly audio. I didn't go

43:03

video to, like, episode after I had

43:07

recorded 132 audio

43:11

episodes. And so

43:15

it's only recently that I've started doing

43:19

video, and I I do

43:23

I record 3 shows a week, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

43:28

I I release 1 audio podcast a week,

43:32

and it it's been

43:36

it's been, so much fun to be able to

43:42

just for me, like, it's been able it's been so great to just to impact one

43:50

person's life. Mhmm. It's where whereas

43:54

I don't know what what kinda, like,

43:58

I don't know what kinda impact I've had on their life, but if I've impacted

44:01

their life, and it's how now how they're gonna impact other

44:05

people's lives. So it's like a ripple effect. So I impact one person's life,

44:09

and they go on and impact the 1,000 or whatever.

44:13

To me, that's that's that's success to

44:16

me. Mhmm. To be to to be able to do that

44:21

and and see that get receive messages from

44:24

people that have said thank you for this episode or

44:28

that conversation you had with such they'll name the they'll name the

44:32

episode. They'll tell you when in the episode that they when

44:35

where they heard it, and it's those moments

44:39

that I'm like, this is why I do it. This is this is

44:42

why I get up and record, and and I do

44:46

what I do because you never know who's listening.

44:50

Mhmm. That's so beautiful.

44:54

It's crazy how perfectionism is a dream

44:58

killer, and yet success is done by a 1000

45:01

steps. And you've you've made those 1,000 steps. You've done those

45:05

200 and more podcasts all because in one moment,

45:09

you just decided, alright. Let's do this.

45:13

Mhmm. And I just love that. I love that that's

45:16

how life works. We're so so scared and we put things off for

45:20

so long. Put it off. Put it off. Put it off. And all we had

45:24

to do is just press record. And there you go. Like, we've that is

45:27

the act of crossing over the threshold. You are officially a podcaster. Like, you're

45:31

not And you say and you say it and you say it, like, you know,

45:34

you gotta do this first you say it's it's just that simple. It

45:37

is. It really is. It it it really is.

45:41

And I don't want people to think, like, podcasting is easy because it's not.

45:45

Because there there are podcasts out there that they put a lot they put a

45:48

lot of work, especially independent podcasters who so

45:52

I'm yes. I'm I'm not saying that podcast isn't easy, but it is. You

45:56

can technically just take your phone and record the converse

46:00

record yourself. It it is. People make it more

46:03

difficult than what it's supposed to be. But it takes a lot of work and

46:07

dedication to to build a successful podcast.

46:11

Mhmm. To start a podcast is simple. Yeah.

46:16

But to sustain it and build it up, that's

46:20

where the journey lies, and that's where you

46:24

have so much fun getting to build something

46:27

from scratch and and grow and develop it and

46:31

see see it take off from its infant

46:35

stages to where it is now.

46:39

Mhmm. And that's the thing. Whenever we wanna start

46:42

something and we feel that overwhelm, we feel that heaviness, and, oh

46:46

my and I don't even know how I'm gonna do this, Our minds

46:50

aren't thinking about the moment when we just push record and now we've

46:54

done it. We're thinking about the how are we gonna sustain this? And I

46:57

all the work that I'm gonna have to do and this and that and this

47:00

and that. And, oh my goodness, I don't know how that's even gonna happen.

47:05

But our mind condenses it all into one thing as

47:08

if we need to climb the highest mountain right

47:12

now and we forget that in order to climb the highest

47:15

mountain, it's a 1,000 steps. And so that's why,

47:19

you know, getting over perfectionism and workaholism and just fear

47:23

in general, whatever it is you wanna start, come back to just what

47:26

do I need to do today? Today, I'm only gonna allow myself to

47:30

record myself for 5 minutes. That's it. And then I'm cutting myself

47:34

off. That's all I get to do. And tomorrow, you know, and the next day

47:37

and the and so you break it down that way. And you're so

47:41

right. It's that consistency, that's where you build

47:44

the kingdom. That's where you summit the mountain.

47:48

It's not by doing it all at once even though our minds like to frame

47:52

it in that way and that's what blocks us, that's what keeps

47:55

those barriers in place and paralyzes us so we can't move forward.

47:59

But you just say, what what's that one thing I can do today? And ask

48:03

that question for 365 days in

48:07

that year, and you're gonna be a complete different person at the end of it.

48:12

Yeah. No. It's at

48:15

like, I've I've built the

48:19

system on how I do my podcast. I like I I

48:23

I have certain tools that I use to do the

48:26

thumbnails and do titles and all this different

48:30

stuff, But it's it's taken me time

48:33

to develop it. It's taken me time. I've had to learn

48:37

and build the system on how I want to

48:41

build my show. And so it's

48:45

it's been, it's it's just funny because

48:52

to see to to see from where I started at. And

48:56

when I first started interviewing people, I was interviewing friends and

49:00

people all over. And it wasn't with it wasn't until the

49:03

last year and a half that I really focused on

49:08

bringing on coaches, entrepreneurs, and focus

49:11

more on mindset and development and wanting

49:15

to help people grow and everything.

49:19

So it was when I

49:22

started focusing on that. Right? Really narrowed down my

49:26

niche to who I wanted to speak to. That's

49:29

when it it really it it for

49:33

me, it really solidified what I

49:37

wanted to do. It really kind of nailed it for me, and

49:41

it was like, alright. This is this is the path that I wanna go down.

49:43

These are the people I wanna interview, and this is what I

49:47

want the show to be about. Yeah. And I

49:51

love that you mentioned that because sometimes people will try and define their audience

49:55

ahead of time. And if you know, you know, I specifically wanna talk to

49:58

this demographic only on these topics, that's awesome.

50:02

Like, kudos. Sometimes, we don't really know and

50:06

it's just like, I just wanna have conversations and I'm not sure where

50:09

this is gonna go and who wants to tune in. You can

50:13

block yourself by spending too much time overthinking and

50:16

overanalyzing and trying to narrow that down. Sometimes, again, you just need to

50:20

go do the thing and then see who's responding to

50:24

you and that'll help you formulate who your audience is,

50:27

who's listening, who's tuning in. That'll be defined over time. And then

50:31

once you have that information, you can go back. You can revamp the

50:35

system and add more structure around it because you know exactly who you're

50:38

targeting. You've got your base laid down, and you

50:42

can bring in those strategies you're mentioning around the thumbnails and

50:46

building your email list and specific targeted ads and stuff

50:50

like that. But people try and do that ahead of time, and and

50:53

sometimes you just gotta go for it. It'll be defined over time.

50:58

No. Yeah. No. It when I tried to do all this when I

51:01

first started, I would've would've probably been overwhelming.

51:05

I probably would've quit. Like, it would've been too much to so I

51:09

I'm I I I've enjoyed the process

51:13

because I've learned so much in in in doing

51:16

it all and and wanting to to to

51:20

improve and and taking courses on

51:24

editing or and and audio and video

51:27

and all the diff these different things

51:31

that has that has helped me

51:36

in really developing what I want. And and and it's been

51:43

like, okay. This this is

51:46

the lane that I I feel comfortable, and this is this is the lane

51:50

that I'm having so much

51:55

engagement on and and everything. So so when I did,

51:59

it zeroed down and focused more on these

52:03

topics. It was like, okay. Alright. This is where my audience

52:06

lies. This is this is where I wanna be at.

52:10

And and and it was it was crazy because when I first started, I

52:14

I went to, Podfest 2 years ago.

52:17

Mhmm. And someone told me, like, I they they told me I

52:21

needed to niche it down. And and in my own head, I

52:25

was like, no. I'm enjoying what not realizing what

52:29

they were really trying to explain to me. What they were trying to say to

52:32

me was like, listen. I get I understand you wanna talk to everybody,

52:36

but target your audience. Really find out

52:40

where your audience is and and and focus on

52:44

that. And when I really truly started doing that is when things really

52:47

shifted for me. Mhmm. Yeah. That's beautiful. This this has been wonderful. I've

52:56

we've almost fell for an hour. This has been a great, great time.

53:00

But now is the time when you get the solo screen. You get to plug

53:03

away, let everybody know where they can find you,

53:07

what where they can check out the podcast, everything.

53:11

Yeah. So Opportunity Made is available on all podcasting

53:15

platforms. I also have a newsletter that goes along with that.

53:19

Sometimes I'm talking about the show. Sometimes I'm talking about lessons

53:22

I'm learning in life, but you can find the opportunity made newsletter

53:26

on LinkedIn only. So you can follow me

53:30

on LinkedIn. It's the LinkedIn URL slash opportunity made,

53:34

and there you'll find the articles as well and you can subscribe to

53:38

that newsletter. And the last resource I'll throw out there

53:41

for y'all is leonfe.org

53:45

and that is the Leon Foundation of Excellence website. So

53:49

leonfe.org. On there, you'll find our free

53:53

Leadership Academy. It is geared towards high school

53:56

students, but anyone anywhere can take it and it's

54:00

30 modules helping you get started with developing

54:03

emotional intelligence, self awareness, looking at those intergenerational

54:08

patterns, and figuring out how to break that cycle.

54:13

Alright. Thank thank you once again for being a guest. This has been a

54:17

great conversation. I have had a great time talking to you.

54:23

I'm gonna close out the show now, but don't leave just yet. We'll chat a

54:26

little bit off the air, but it's been a pleasure having you on the show.

54:29

This has been good. I I said, I I can tell when the

54:32

conversation is going pretty well when it it

54:36

exceeds some of the like, I've been trying to limit myself to, like,

54:40

35, 45 minutes. But when you have such a good

54:43

conversation, I I don't mind extending it. I I I

54:46

actually enjoy it more when I get when I do get those conversations where

54:50

I do get to extend it because, I mean, that that means the conversation

54:54

is so so engaging and and entertaining

54:58

and and just being able to learn and

55:01

and see speak to someone who's

55:06

gone through struggles in life and and been able to to really

55:09

make an impact and and and show people that, hey.

55:14

We all struggle and all those things, but you get

55:18

all the wonderful things you're doing out there right now with starting the

55:21

foundation and having the podcast and and doing

55:25

all the things that you're doing. So kudos. I I I appreciate

55:29

you, and and thank you for being a guest. Thank you for having

55:32

me. Alright. Let me close out the

55:36

show. Big shout out to everybody who's stopped

55:39

by in the in the chat. Snowman, what's going on, brother? Love

55:43

you too. Appreciate you. My man, Drew, what's going on?

55:47

Thank you for all the love and the support. Once again, shout out to

55:50

everybody out there who's who's shown me so much love and support and

55:54

my and show my family so much support in in this

55:58

time. And, listen, I'm I'm just

56:01

grateful that I had 80 wonderful 84 wonderful

56:06

she had 84 wonderful years. I'm just grateful that I got

56:10

47 great years with her. And and

56:14

without her, I wouldn't be the man that I am today.

56:18

So I'm just I'm blessed to to have

56:22

such a wonderful family that we've, it was it

56:26

was a great it was a great experience to be around my

56:29

family and and having all that support, but it it was just

56:33

all the support from all my my friends and and

56:37

and a lot of coworkers and I is I've

56:41

just been blessed, but thank you so much, everybody.

56:45

Shout out to my nephew, papa j. Shout out to the boss

56:48

lady. Love you and appreciate you. And as always, a big, big

56:52

shout out to all the essential workers out there. God bless y'all. Be safe.