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BBC Sounds. Music, radio,

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podcasts. Oh no! It's

0:51

going to be a world record. It's

0:53

a new world record. It will

0:55

be a new world record. You

0:57

join us as a new world record is being

1:00

broken at the moment in the World Cup. Welcome

1:05

to the Tailenders Fun Bus. Thank

1:07

you for having us on the Tailenders Fun Bus. As we

1:09

leave Sheffield. Was it Sheffield match in or was it... Oh,

1:12

are we

1:12

going to get into that now? Yes. What

1:16

did you say to the people of Sheffield last night on stage

1:18

in Sheffield at the City Hall? I had a little

1:20

bit of a Ron Burgundy moment. No, what word did

1:22

you say? How did you greet them? Hello Nottingham!

1:28

Might as well have been. It

1:30

was a faux pas and I apologise to the people of Sheffield. Yeah,

1:33

well you apologised again and again and again. The rest

1:35

of the show was basically you apologising. Welcome

1:37

to Tailenders. Thank you for having us on Tailenders.

1:41

This is G-Force. This

1:43

is Felix White. This is

1:45

Timmy Banderson.

1:45

This is Matt Shentendalker.

1:49

And we're here with Shantnado Shaggy Shaman. We

1:52

are currently watching the Australia-Netherlands

1:56

game and we mentioned the new world

1:58

record.

1:59

Maxwell has just scored 140 balls

2:03

and what was the world record?

2:05

Well I think the world record could be,

2:08

sorry the world record, could be Delader

2:10

the bowler is currently on 9.4 overs 2

2:13

for 114. Delader,

2:17

see you Delader, take a blow mate.

2:20

It could be the most expensive figures.

2:23

We've had a really nice week so far and I've not

2:25

seen Felix this happy because who

2:27

is in your fantasy team? Oh yeah because I

2:29

decided, because I've been losing at the fantasy

2:32

which includes us lot and Sharkey of course

2:35

but also Stuart Broad, Jack Leech, Ellie

2:37

Oldroyd, Izzy Wong and Katie George

2:40

and I'm struggling. I've had a bad couple of weeks so

2:42

I thought left field curve ball, no one's

2:44

going to pick Glenn Maxwell because he

2:47

has been struggling so I decided

2:49

curve ball put him in, he's replaying

2:51

my faith by being 101 of 40 not out. Yeah

2:54

and I just checked how many people did

2:57

own Glenn Maxwell in the draft and it's 31% of

2:59

the entire draft users. Okay

3:02

so I've slightly misjudged that but none of you guys

3:04

do. You've sort of Liam Livingston

3:06

yourself there by saying he's upcoming new talent. Quick

3:09

point I want to bring up is that Glenn Maxwell's been smashing

3:12

sixes left right and centre and Felix actually

3:14

said I'd be bowling slow ball bouncers here.

3:17

Delader just bowled a slow ball bouncer, went for

3:19

one. Thank you Jimmy. Very

3:22

good. Good knowledge, good reading

3:24

of the game. Let him fetch it, change your

3:26

speed. It's very simple. So

3:29

we're in this bus and we've just done three nights

3:32

of the tail enders tour, Nottingham was

3:34

the first one, great fun. Nottingham

3:37

was the second one, oh no sorry mate. Oxford

3:39

was the second one and then we

3:41

went on to Sheffield last night where you

3:44

called everyone Nottingham which

3:46

was amazing and as Felix was saying. Aside

3:48

from that I'm having a week of my life. Yeah we'll have

3:50

a week of our life but you did keep over correcting. It

3:53

was like when you get someone's name wrong and you then remember

3:55

their name and you say oh Emily, lovely

3:57

to meet you Emily, thank you Emily, great to chat to you Emily.

3:59

up soon enough

4:01

and that's what you were doing last night for

4:03

two hours. Whilst

4:08

sweating profusely the

4:10

minute Nottingham came off his lips just

4:13

beads of sweat dripping down the side

4:16

of his face. You actually thought of it

4:18

looked like you shrunk two

4:20

foot in height because you were so devastated

4:22

by it. You could feel the air

4:24

being sucked out of the room. Well

4:27

yeah you could because you kept saying can everyone

4:30

see me and the fact you're nearly seven

4:32

foot tall and you're in the middle stage with a spotlight

4:34

on you. And cricket wise. And cricket in

4:36

cricket wise tended to

4:39

allure to the fact that everyone could see you

4:41

but in your mind you were sort of panicking

4:45

weren't you? Yeah I was panicking. I was panicking?

4:47

Oh shock them Maxwell. Oh that's

4:50

not come where it's supposed to go. Alright

4:52

well let's do more tall stuff in a minute because we've

4:54

got lots of stories from the

4:56

road but we've been enjoying a lot of the World Cup.

4:58

It's been really nice. I mean it's

5:00

so nice to all hang out together. I love

5:02

this so much. We very rarely when people

5:05

say oh what's the show like what do you do? Well

5:07

it's very difficult to explain it but we very rarely are

5:09

all in the same place for a prolonged period of time

5:12

because Jimmy's playing cricket, Mattion's

5:14

got shoes to sell, we're all over

5:16

the place but this is so fun. We've actually had

5:19

a load of time to watch the World Cup as well in

5:21

the bus. And I've got even more

5:23

into it because it's so nice to have it in

5:25

the background of it isn't it? Yeah exactly. Well we always

5:27

talk about the World Cup being a constant don't we?

5:30

And that's the nice thing about this World Cup actually is people

5:32

have moaned about it being slightly too long but on

5:34

tour it's a really lovely thing because you wake up, the game's

5:36

going, we're getting in the van, we're watching

5:38

the game with Jimmy in the van as we go to the next town

5:40

and we're watching it unfold. As I say that

5:42

Glenn Maxwell has just holed out for

5:45

a hundred and six. I've

5:47

been enjoying watching it with you Jim because

5:50

you get to pick your brains and watch little

5:53

bowling strategies and stuff like that. How have

5:55

you been enjoying it? Yeah I think it's a game

5:57

every day, it's just great to have

5:59

it. there have it on it's all

6:02

nice like we have I think we have it on in the background

6:04

of the you know wherever we are in the

6:06

bus or whatever I think it's quite nice rather than just sitting

6:09

down on regiment Lee watching

6:11

it just flick you know every now and then flicking

6:13

back to it and when Glenn Maxwell it's

6:15

a six you start getting excited and stuff

6:17

like that so it's nice yeah yeah we've had great upsets

6:20

Afghanistan obviously beating it and

6:22

Pakistan Holland beat South Africa

6:25

who look absolutely formidable so

6:27

has been set in place but anything can

6:29

happen it's to begin with it we felt like

6:31

oh maybe the big guns are just gonna mow

6:33

teams and we're just gonna have foregone conclusions

6:35

for about three weeks but we are set up where

6:38

anything can happen again even Holland can beat teams

6:41

and people can score 400 plus it looks

6:43

like Australia are gonna post more than 400

6:45

they're gonna break 400 so it makes it exciting

6:47

to watch definitely

6:50

I don't think the Netherlands are gonna beat Australia

6:52

today that doesn't feel like it does it

6:54

no dare we get into the England stuff well

6:57

it's always a bit sad and no it's really interesting

6:59

to talk about I actually do think it's an interesting

7:02

situation to talk about because you've got some

7:04

of the greatest white ball players ever

7:07

in that team yeah and for whatever

7:09

reason it's just not jelling they're not quite feeling

7:12

it they're out of rhythm they're out of form they're out of the

7:14

tired of something yeah but you look you've

7:16

got you thought Joe it's the captain is Josh

7:18

Butler he is one of the greatest ever

7:21

cricketers let alone white ball players yes he's

7:24

not firing really yeah team is not doesn't seem

7:26

to be jelling you've got best though in there you've got

7:28

Ben Stokes Joe root these are some of the all-time

7:31

great and yet something

7:33

is not quite right within the team the

7:35

the timing of it the cyclical nature of

7:37

those sorts of teams and competitions I don't know what it is what

7:39

do you put it down to Jim it's so hard to

7:42

put your finger on it when you're not actually

7:44

there you're not in the dressing room you know around

7:46

the team all the time

7:49

to know what's actually going on you

7:51

know in India is a really tough place to go

7:54

it's very different cricket styles

7:56

of cricket to anywhere else you play in the world

7:58

so if you get on a bad roll it can be difficult

8:00

to then get yourselves out of it. But you know losing

8:02

to Afghanistan is not something

8:05

that you'd expect from this England team. Just

8:07

not quite at the straps. For the last

8:09

game they changed quite a lot of the personnel,

8:12

you know, with Willy and dropping Wokes,

8:16

dropping Sam Curran and

8:19

Stokes coming back into the team. So there's a bit

8:21

of an unsettled nature about it. I feel like

8:23

in the World Cup 2019 it felt like they had a really

8:26

settled team and it wasn't

8:28

perfect, they still lost games. But they sort

8:31

of, you could see that they had that belief and at

8:33

the minute it doesn't look like they've got that

8:35

sort of belief or that confidence that you need

8:38

to win games consistently. Yeah well that's an interesting

8:40

comparison because actually we forget that in 2019, halfway

8:44

through that tournament, England found themselves

8:46

in a situation where they basically needed to win every single

8:49

game for about 5-6 on the

8:51

bounce to get through to the semi final

8:53

and they did it. I think Australia beat, I

8:55

remember Ben Stokes collapsing, dropping his bat.

8:58

But he just doesn't quite, something doesn't feel

9:01

as in place does it? It just feels like they

9:03

don't know what the team is. But well that's an problem. And

9:05

they don't know the make up of the team and you're

9:07

in a sort of weird trap where you've got legendary

9:09

players who you want to put in there. Right

9:12

yeah. But you want to get those players in, I understand

9:14

why you want to get them in because you've got some of the greatest of all time

9:16

but for whatever reason it's not working.

9:18

And the Ben Stokes thing I find really interesting because

9:20

obviously you want him in the team but does that sort of upset

9:23

the make up of the side

9:25

and I think maybe it does because how

9:27

do you fit them all in? I feel like he's

9:30

someone that you need in your team and he's

9:33

the first name on the team sheet for me. And

9:36

then there's enough quality in that squad

9:38

to be able to work around it and find out

9:41

your best team. But I think the other thing for

9:43

me is it's not an excuse by any

9:45

stretch but England have played and

9:48

will play in nine different

9:50

venues. They don't get

9:52

to play two games in the same venue which a lot

9:54

of teams are. I think they're

9:56

playing Darren Charlotte twice

9:59

but they've you know. There's six games between

10:01

those two games that they play in there. They're

10:03

constantly travelling, they're constantly having to

10:06

assess conditions in different places, they're so

10:08

different the conditions. And

10:11

I'd say, was it South Africa

10:13

that they maybe got the toss wrong, they won the

10:15

toss and bowled first? Yeah. I'd

10:17

say that was probably the wrong decision. Yeah. It's

10:20

a brutal heat, yeah. But again, when you're travelling

10:24

and you're trying to figure out all these conditions and then

10:27

figure out your best team, all

10:31

these things can build up and make it tough

10:33

to build that momentum basically that you need

10:35

in a World Cup. As you're saying that, Jim, just

10:38

to say, I had a very picturesque sight of seeing

10:40

the rolling hills outside of Sheffield

10:42

and Yorkshire and Avan, is it? Yes, I think we'll potentially

10:46

go... It's called Snake Pass between

10:48

Sheffield and Manchester. Oh, yes. It's a very

10:50

beautiful, scenic road. It'd

10:52

be very windy, probably some car sickness

10:54

as well along the way. Are you driving to your house, by the way?

10:57

We are, yes. The house that Wicket's built, yeah.

10:59

Have you had

11:02

much contact with the England team? You had

11:04

heard much from them? A little bit. I

11:07

try and, you know, spoke to Johnny

11:09

a little bit. And again,

11:11

he's someone who he needs to just

11:14

build confidence and get on

11:16

a roll. Once he does, he'll be... Once he finds

11:18

some form, he'll start... He'll be fine.

11:21

Who'd we like then? Because I love

11:23

watching South Africa. I've really,

11:26

really... I've become completely obsessed

11:29

with their slightly understated

11:31

but unbelievably powerful middle

11:33

order engine room. Oh, unbelievable. It's a joke.

11:36

Yeah, yeah. Because you've got... Obviously,

11:38

you've got the car who's opening up. Yeah. And

11:41

if he doesn't fire, you've got Markram.

11:43

Markram Classen. Hendrix.

11:46

Hendrix and David Miller.

11:48

Miller. Like, the... A

11:50

babooma's not even in the team at the moment because he's injured. Ridiculous.

11:53

I mean, it's awful. Can you imagine trying

11:55

to bowl at that? It's like, you

11:57

get rid of one and you've got another towering...

12:00

giant coming in. Yeah even if you get the cock

12:02

out it's like all these batters

12:04

just keep coming

12:07

down. Lovely.

12:10

We were trying to be serious. We suddenly

12:13

thought we were Adam Collins and Jeff Lemon

12:16

and then we do a cock joke. Jimmy

12:18

did it. I think they do look strong definitely

12:21

but also like the bowling as

12:23

well. Yeah horrible. Janssen opening the bowling.

12:25

Rabada. Can swing it with the bounds. Rabada

12:27

first change. And Giddy. A ridiculous

12:30

Maharaj as well. Wylie. Do you see Rabada's

12:32

catch as well the other day? Yeah. This is

12:35

a guy who's not young. This

12:38

guy. Yeah yeah. Brilliant. I love

12:40

watching them play. The worrying thing for South African

12:42

fans, sorry to interrupt you there Greg, is that

12:45

is this another World Cup where they started

12:48

so strong and they look formidable and they're

12:50

gonna come unstuck at the wrong moment

12:52

during World Cup. Sorry are we in the Everglades?

12:54

It's so beautiful isn't it? It's amazing

12:57

round here. I always thought it's until we go round Sheffield,

12:59

outside Sheffield, it's so beautiful you

13:01

wouldn't know it existed. Built on seven hills isn't it Sheffield?

13:04

Oh. Beautiful beautiful place. Didn't

13:06

you run with me here for the

13:09

Greg Atherton? Yes. For the sport relief. Yeah I did

13:11

yeah. Bad hills. Yeah. Bad up your knees.

13:13

But beautiful. Wow just so beautiful.

13:15

Anyway sorry. But I don't know I

13:17

watched this with the African team and I think they

13:20

look buried together. They look very

13:22

like they look like a unit. They know

13:24

who the team they know what their team is. A couple of changes

13:27

here and there but they look so strong and

13:29

together and I just I feel like they they're

13:31

gonna win. One thing that I

13:33

think could be their downfall is

13:35

batting second so when they're battered first they

13:37

look like yeah yeah they really know what

13:39

they're doing they put keep the foot on the gas and they

13:41

go you know got all these batters that come

13:43

and come and come but then the one game they're lost

13:46

against the Netherlands batting second.

13:49

Interesting. Lost the wicket here or there and then

13:51

just tightened up a little bit and

13:53

didn't quite look as free flowing as they

13:55

do when they're battered so that could be a an

13:57

issue if they go through the tunnel. That's what South African

13:59

fans fans we worried about in that semi-final

14:02

crunch game maybe about in seconds when

14:04

it actually in the moment happens are we gonna have

14:06

another situation like we had

14:09

2015 World Cup like the famous 99 World

14:12

Cup is that history gonna play in their

14:14

minds we get to that big moment we're

14:16

waiting to see. And Afghanistan. Shout

14:19

out to Afghanistan. Yeah you got to Afghanistan. Big

14:21

shout out to you. Second team. Third team.

14:24

Third team. But I think they

14:26

might go very final. Do

14:28

you think? Yeah. Okay. Could

14:31

easily do it. Yeah yeah yeah. I think India could

14:33

go unbeaten the whole way through the tournament. Winning all 11

14:35

games. You think they're gonna win the World Cup? They're

14:37

completely formidable in those conditions.

14:40

Got every base covered. You know Ashwin's

14:42

not even playing some games. Yeah. That's

14:45

how strong they are. Yeah. Well that's

14:47

the thing about what you're saying about England when it was the 2019 World Cup

14:50

we had a huge home advantage. Such momentum.

14:52

We had new conditions, new the ground, new

14:55

the home crowd. I think it's such an uphill

14:57

struggle for England now. The last game you look

14:59

at the guys on the bench. Wokes,

15:02

Mo, Livingston. Yeah. Like

15:05

guys that are Sam Curran. Big guys, big players yeah. They're amazing

15:08

players. Like we should be performing

15:11

a lot better than we are. Can I ask you a question Jimmy?

15:13

Have you seen the you've seen the laser light

15:15

show they do sometimes during a drinks break? Yeah

15:17

it's so weird. I was

15:19

watching it thinking quite

15:22

fun but a nightmare

15:25

if you're a player because a

15:27

lot is made of like getting your eyes used

15:29

to the conditions. Yeah. Suddenly it's

15:31

pitched back and it's like as a Coldplay show starts.

15:35

I mean they turn all the lights off. Is that not

15:37

mad? You'd hate that wouldn't you? I don't know

15:39

really. I've

15:41

not really thought about it. I think it's not actually that

15:43

light when the lights are on if that makes sense. It's

15:46

not like bright beaming light. Right

15:48

yeah yeah I guess it's actually still quite

15:50

murky. Right. So I don't

15:52

think it would affect them that much. It just feels completely

15:55

like you're just not in the zone suddenly. You've

15:57

just like got these lasers shooting past you. I'd like to

15:59

see some analysis. if batters are getting

16:01

out immediately after the lights show. Yeah. No

16:04

one's actually used that as an excuse yet, but we'll keep our

16:06

eyes open. Yeah, exactly. If anyone

16:08

listening who is batting in the World Cup, use that as an excuse

16:10

if you get out after the drinks break. Because it

16:13

tends to happen in cricket, that a breaking

16:15

concentration happens, and then a wicket falls

16:17

after a drinks break, whatever. But with a super

16:20

drinks break, where the lights go off, and suddenly

16:22

the chain smokers are out there too. Yeah, yeah.

16:25

So, sorry, that just broke my concentration

16:27

completely, because I thought I was at a festival. Yeah, yeah,

16:29

right. OK, so World

16:31

Cup continues. What game are we on? Game 25. Oh

16:34

my God. 500 and a half. I don't

16:36

think it's even 25, is it? Brilliant. Good to

16:38

see you. That's my one bugbear of this

16:40

World Cup, is when watching it on

16:42

the telly, and they've got game seven

16:45

of 45. Jesus Christ. It's

16:47

going to be here for months watching this. It's

16:49

like it's a fitness app or something. Yeah. Do

16:52

a lingo. Yeah, all the way. I might

16:54

just get through. Do you want me to turn it off and come back

16:56

in 45 days? Yeah, exactly. It's like a

16:58

festival. This is a thing if fans are playing. It's

17:01

a little like unsaid rule, but because there's

17:03

so many bands and festivals, you don't say, OK, we've

17:06

got three songs left every one, or

17:09

two songs left, because as soon as people know that, they'll walk

17:11

and leave. They'll feel like they've

17:13

seen it all, and leave the gig type thing. So it's like

17:15

giving you that impression, oh, I'll just come back later then,

17:18

or go and watch something else. Same with quizzes. You

17:20

never announce how many quizzes you've got left. Exactly.

17:23

It feels quite unsafe for your quizzes, mate. It's

17:25

quite unconfident for them saying, this

17:27

is seven of 45. Maybe they're over

17:29

it. We're excited by it. I like that.

17:32

Love it. It's nice to have it up into the winter. More

17:34

cricket, please. Quick, look at the

17:36

draft then. What's the current standings

17:38

in the fantasy? Well, don't do it now, because

17:41

I'm struggling, aren't I? It's matching. Give

17:43

us an update. I was. I got

17:45

up to the dizzy heights of third at one point, and

17:49

now I've slipped. The

17:51

Bristol heavy breathers are now

17:53

fifth. Greg James' leapfrog

17:55

me. Izzy Wong is top of the table.

17:58

Followed by Jack Lee. Jimmy

18:01

Banders in there at three. Propping

18:03

up the table we've got Ellie Yul-Droid. Sorry

18:06

Ellie. And the Mark Shaman.

18:09

You've got off the bottom though which is good. Strewbawr's

18:11

not doing well is he? He's probably not changing it.

18:14

Is Strewbawr thinking about it? I'm thinking about it

18:16

every half an hour. He takes me the day so the app's a

18:18

bit clunky. We love the cricket drafts. Despite

18:20

Jimmy saying it's clunky, that's part of his charm. We

18:23

love the people that make it and they're very sweet

18:25

and they're brilliant. This is how lovely they are Greg. Izzy

18:28

changed her team the other day. She texted me

18:30

telling me this. She took Pandia

18:33

out but for whatever reason

18:35

the app didn't give her the money for the substitution.

18:38

So she emailed the cricket

18:40

draft people saying, erm,

18:43

can we sort this out please? And they

18:45

corrected it. But I was just thinking about the draft

18:47

guy who's literally getting Izzy Wong. Emailing

18:50

him saying I need this fixed immediately

18:53

please. So they're actually interacting

18:55

with the greats of the game. It's a

18:57

point I'm making this. Yeah I was only, I was being

18:59

flippant about it. I've really enjoyed

19:01

the league and... I know you're

19:03

into it. You're checking it all the time. Keep

19:06

picking the wrong players. We're talking about it all the time. Exactly.

19:09

I'm refreshing it when we're doing rehearsals for the live show.

19:11

Look how beautiful that is! Jim, what's this called?

19:13

This expanse of water. This is Lady

19:16

Bower Reservoir. Oh that is fantastic.

19:18

Beautiful isn't it? You'd make a good

19:21

coach guide. Very

19:23

good. You should get on the coach of. Yeah you should

19:25

write a thought. Bill Bryson book. Oh

19:27

I love Bill Bryson. That'd be nice wouldn't it? I could see you

19:29

writing that. Well obviously Phoenix would write it. I'd write it

19:31

before you need to take the credit. You could claim to write it.

19:34

I think it'd be nice trips around the UK. Talking

19:36

of which, one of my favourite parts of the show, Jimmy

19:39

is doing a, basically he's launching

19:42

a book on his tour and in

19:44

that he does a book talk where

19:46

you learn all the different grip

19:49

the way he bowls, how he's bold to which people,

19:51

which is a part of the show that I am absolutely

19:54

loving because we've done this before in TailEnders

19:56

and in the podcast itself but never in life have

19:58

we had a sort of. let's call it a Jimmy Anderson

20:01

lecture, a Jimmy Anderson seminar in which

20:03

he actually talks through the techniques

20:05

that have taken him all the wickets and indeed bought

20:08

him the house that wickets built. Jim,

20:10

have you enjoyed that? I felt like the

20:13

theatre is still when you say that and the people were

20:15

trying to absorb the information quickly. Yeah, I

20:17

have enjoyed it. I think one thing for me is that

20:20

I feel like when I talk about it, it bores

20:22

me. And I worry that I'm boring

20:24

people. But you said that on stage last night in Sheffield.

20:27

And we had to leap up and

20:29

go, no, this is the most interesting

20:32

bit of cylinders when you're just showing pictures of your

20:34

fingers on the big screen. But I feel

20:36

like the show is meant to entertain people and

20:38

when it's deadly silence and people

20:40

just looking up at me, I'm thinking, are they entertained

20:42

or not? I can't tell. Whereas when like... You

20:45

should say that, are you not entertained? When

20:47

other things are happening, there's more

20:50

interaction with the audience, there's more laughter, there's

20:53

stuff like that. You get instant feedback.

20:55

So with a lecture, I'd say you don't

20:58

get that, which scares me. Swing-bolting is

21:00

many things, but it's not funny. Well,

21:02

that's what I'd say. But you say that,

21:05

but when Jimmy put a picture of his Instagram

21:07

out, someone did laugh and Jimmy went, that's not a joke,

21:09

that's my Instagram. That's

21:11

because the big screen is so massive, it's just fingers.

21:14

Yeah, yeah. So what are you laughing at? They're

21:16

laughing at fingers. It's amazing

21:19

how much money your fingers have made. So

21:21

much that your whole career has been built

21:23

around your theme position. Yeah, amazing.

21:26

And that's why it's so interesting to look at, because my

21:29

new shy of cricket is what we're all interested in. And

21:31

you're putting your theme position up on the big

21:33

screen and people are sitting there in silence, respectfully.

21:36

Yeah, apart from the one guy who's giggling.

21:38

I think it was because...

21:41

What was the funny one? There's one where your fingers

21:43

look a bit stubby. Knuckleball? Oh, Knuckleball.

21:47

Well, no, it's only because you folded them over. Do you get manicures,

21:49

Jimmy? Your fingers do look really nice. Thank

21:53

you. I don't get manicures or pedicures, I'm like

21:55

Greg. Uh,

21:56

yeah, actually that's a good question,

21:59

because the amount of times...

21:59

your hands are on camera. Do you ever

22:02

get self-conscious? Yeah, manicure reasons, your

22:04

hands thinking like. I'd get hairy

22:06

like knuckles which I get a bit. Really?

22:09

Because on the screen you can see your hands so close. Mm.

22:13

Get some manicures. Swear by pedicure by the

22:15

way. Thing I've learned on this tour is I'm

22:17

gonna get a pedicure when we get back. Great. Great.

22:20

Well, go get it, son. Your review was it feels like you're

22:22

walking on air when you come back. Yeah,

22:25

I went with Bella a couple years ago.

22:28

And then I just now go on my own, it's really nice. Really

22:31

nice. And in your latest pedicure they

22:33

painted your nose nails. Because at the end of it,

22:35

the lady said. Would you like a colour?

22:38

Yeah,

22:39

I'd love one.

22:39

So a bit of neon yellow. Yeah. Quite

22:42

like. I didn't think though, what I didn't think was

22:45

that that it was gonna be revealed on stage. Because

22:47

Matching had a game where I took my shoes off. Yeah.

22:50

And then the other thing was we were in the David Lloyd Center

22:52

in Oxford and. Winter's sorta. Yeah.

22:55

I thought it was toxic about your feet like they were glowing in

22:57

the dark because the lighting in the sauna was. It

23:00

was like blue light that. A bit

23:02

like everything glowing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

23:04

So it's just people doing drugs in the toilet and stuff.

23:07

They have the same lighting in the sauna. Yeah, to find

23:10

the yeah. Yeah, the three bodybuilders that

23:12

were in there with us were staring at you. Yeah.

23:15

He's this guy. Yeah. What

23:17

is that? I think there are more shots

23:19

by the fact that Jimmy Anderson walks in in his pants into

23:22

the sauna while they were just sitting there. This is a great

23:24

thing. I could always see if he was face

23:26

like, oh, okay. You can if

23:28

you walk around. It's like messy walking. Yeah, it

23:31

is though. You can get into, here's a good life

23:33

hack. You can get into any sports facility or

23:35

gym if you walk in with Jimmy Anderson. Well,

23:38

so now we went to the gym on the first

23:40

day in London. I took Jimmy to one of my,

23:43

get these gyms all over the country. It's like 20 pound a month

23:45

and they've got gyms all around. And so

23:47

we went there. I thought I could get him in as a guest pass and

23:50

then for some reason it didn't work. And

23:52

then they've got those kind of tubes you have to walk in,

23:55

security tubes. So you walk in and it opens

23:57

and then lets you in. Because we couldn't get Jimmy

23:59

in. I said don't worry we'll both go in at

24:01

the same time which was breaking the law so

24:04

we both squeeze into one tube and

24:07

then it opens so everyone's then looking and going oh

24:09

those two guys are sneaking in and then I was

24:11

like oh my god is that Jimmy Adams

24:13

stuck in a tube with a massive guy

24:15

and yeah it was lovely. Well I've

24:18

not mentioned this yet but news traveled so

24:20

far and wide modern world that I

24:22

got a text to the breakfast

24:24

show to the radio one number saying

24:27

hi Greg I finally sorted

24:29

my life out it's just 10 to 9 in the morning finally

24:31

saw my life out managed to get myself to the gym upon

24:34

entering I'm greeted by Jimmy and Matt

24:36

Chin doing an ab workout on the map. They

24:41

go on to say is this what happens

24:43

when you go to the gym? It

24:47

is a real privilege to see like to be on tour with

24:49

Jimmy. Were you starting each other? Yeah.

24:51

Oh what an image. And also it's just like

24:54

how what privilege to see one of the

24:56

greatest sportsmen of our generation

24:58

just work out and learn from him. The

25:01

whole tour I might be more Jimmy trying

25:03

to work out what he does. Yeah it's

25:05

actually been quite nice being going for runs and

25:07

actually trying to keep fit a little bit throughout

25:09

the tour. So this one morning when we went to the gym

25:12

Matt said I'll just follow your program.

25:15

So I was alright if you feel

25:17

comfortable in that. And then

25:19

by the end during the ab workout

25:23

he was shaking like a dog.

25:27

To the point where he went I went you

25:30

got to do this for 20 seconds got to eight seconds

25:32

like now got it. Workout

25:36

did break me but I think both by the time we

25:38

get there both of you at the bar I'll be alright. In

25:40

defense of matching that you're coming back from an influencer

25:43

injury. So that's what I mean we

25:45

got to ease him into his rehabilitation process.

25:48

Actually talking about rehabilitation processes we

25:51

brought the wrong trousers on this tour

25:53

but they haven't come out much. We had them for

25:55

Johnny Bear so didn't we in at Palladium and

25:57

Jimmy walked out first night in it. Well

26:00

they did at the moment, Sharky. What are the wrong trousers

26:02

doing? They just side of stage? I've faded

26:04

up? Yes, you've faded up. They are there, they're

26:07

ready. You can use them whenever you like. Is

26:09

Timmy Banderson wearing the wrong trousers too much?

26:12

Right, right, right. I'm glad someone's

26:14

mentioned it. Right.

26:16

I feel conflicted here because I don't want to say

26:19

too much about the show, but

26:21

I do want to talk desperately about

26:23

a new character that has

26:25

been created called Timmy

26:28

Banderson. Yes. Based on something that Matt

26:31

came up with on this podcast. And

26:33

Matt,

26:35

how much do you want to... It's too fun

26:38

to... I want to save it. I want

26:40

to save it a bit. If you're coming to the

26:42

shows, you will not be disappointed

26:45

at a special guest by the name of

26:47

Timmy Banderson. And Timmy

26:49

Bander... Let's just tell who Timmy Banderson is

26:51

so you're ready for the possibility of it. Yeah,

26:54

so this came up because of your...

26:57

It was after... I think it was the first... Was

26:59

it in the first game of the Ashes? And I said...

27:02

Jimmy was getting a little bit of criticism and I said, look

27:04

at the last 12 months Jimmy's played. Don't

27:07

look at the last 20 years. Just look at the last 12 months.

27:09

You're not seeing the whole pie, Jimmy. You're

27:11

not looking at the

27:13

whole pie. And he's extraordinary

27:15

starts for the last 12 months. And if there was a new player

27:18

that had come out who was 20 years old, and let's

27:20

just call him Timmy Banderson, people would

27:22

be losing their mind over

27:24

how good this young upstart was. Cross-spec. Yeah.

27:27

So that was the birth of Timmy Banderson

27:30

and he's taken a new life on tour. Well,

27:32

actually he was born at about

27:35

midnight in the Rosen Crown

27:37

in Oxford.

27:39

And we all thought it was an amazing idea at the time

27:42

to make Jimmy dress

27:45

up as Timmy Banderson. It was

27:47

about an hour after we met Martin Keown. Yeah,

27:50

a lot going on, isn't there? There was a lot going on

27:52

after that night. We got into this pub,

27:54

which is one of the best pubs in the world, I think,

27:56

in Oxford. Got the Rosen Crown. Starkey's

28:00

mate, Will Gumpert, I

28:02

would never have put you two together. How did you meet former

28:05

BBC Arts editor Will Gumpert? I...

28:08

You have faded up. Thank you. I produced

28:10

a Five Live show and a Five Live podcast

28:13

with Will. So he was there, and he was

28:15

there with his mate, and his mate said, oh,

28:17

I'm waiting for my friend Martin to turn

28:19

up. And we said, okay, don't want your life story.

28:22

And then we... And

28:24

then we turned round, and the Martin was

28:26

Martin Keown. I've never seen

28:28

Greg as starstruck as that. Your

28:31

mouth dropped. I was really... It's one of

28:33

those people I never thought... You never think you're going to

28:35

meet Martin Keown? No, you don't, yeah, not...

28:37

And he was a mythical figure. And I started liking

28:39

football in the 90s, mid-90s, because I copied

28:41

my cousins because they spotted Arsenal. And he

28:44

was one of those... He's one of the Invincibles. Not

28:46

the other Invincibles, of course. We had the new Invincibles.

28:49

He was one of the Invincibles back in the day. And

28:51

then suddenly, in this situation, we

28:53

were in a pub with Jimmy Anderson and

28:55

Martin Keown just having a conversation with each

28:57

other. Yeah, it was nice, wasn't it? Yeah. But

29:00

a spider-bust. What wasn't quite as nice was the confusion

29:03

that Martin Keown had over who Jimmy was. Oh.

29:06

So when you were chatting to Martin

29:08

Keown, and Martin Keown seemed

29:11

quite starstruck, but he was like, oh my God, that's

29:13

incredible that he's in here. And then

29:15

he said, he's retired recently, haven't he? And

29:17

Greg goes, no, he definitely is not retired.

29:20

Don't mention that to him. He's definitely

29:22

not. He went, I think he has. And Greg went, I

29:24

know he hasn't retired. Please

29:26

don't bring out with him. And he used...

29:28

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's retired. And

29:30

isn't he working on a farm now? Greg was like, no.

29:33

That's how I used to cook. Different legend.

29:36

Interestingly, in the

29:39

last,

29:39

I'd say, what, three months,

29:42

I've had so many people come up to me and say, how's

29:45

retirement? Fascinating. And I'm like,

29:47

no, that's the other taller one. And they actually say people

29:49

do confuse you. It's a bit like Noel and Liam

29:51

or something where no matter how famous

29:54

you are individually, people will continue

29:56

to... Yeah. And like,

29:59

I mean, it does... It's happened a lot actually, the confusion

30:01

between players and

30:03

it used to happen a lot with me and Alice to cut to

30:06

the point where, I'm sure I've told this before, where Broady's

30:09

stepdad Nick

30:10

once came up to me and went, well bad mate. I

30:14

was like, no it wasn't me. Oh. GBC

30:17

Five Lines. Hello and welcome to Kerry

30:19

and Ben's proper football podcast. Absolutely

30:22

thrilled to say we've been invited back

30:24

to third series a long time ago. I

30:26

thought he was cheating.

30:31

My captain had been sent off because initially

30:34

it was raining injury. All the boys were going, have

30:36

you given up the mum line and I went, yeah, yeah, yeah. So

30:38

a couple of players went, did you sell it? I've

30:42

had so many nice comments about

30:45

our podcast. It's incredible. Kerry

30:47

and Ben's proper football podcast. Listen

30:50

on BBC Sound. We

30:53

just jumped out the van by bus

30:55

stop on Snake Pass

30:58

and it's so beautiful up here. This

31:00

is proper, you're like this feed, proper postman

31:02

pack territory. Oh yeah. Isn't

31:05

it? Yeah, it looks like it. I can tell I'm

31:07

from London because all of our actual fresh air has made me really dizzy.

31:09

It's nice up here, isn't

31:11

it? Yeah, so beautiful.

31:13

Well,

31:14

I don't want to talk too much about Toon Bandsom but if

31:16

you have come to the show so far, thank you for coming.

31:19

We've had such a fun time. It's been

31:21

our favourite live shows we've done, isn't it? I

31:23

was falling asleep last night actually giggling

31:25

to myself about how much fun I'm having. It

31:28

was really brilliant. If you want to come out and see

31:30

us then do. There's a

31:32

few tickets available. Well, listeners of Tellingers

31:35

from the past will know that I have alluded to my

31:37

Pakistan tracksuit across

31:39

the history of this podcast. I am wearing that in

31:41

its full glory so if you happen to own

31:43

a Pakistan tracksuit or any one

31:45

day tracksuit from any country over the years,

31:48

don't leave me hanging and come wearing

31:50

it too please. Imagine any other thoughts? It's

31:52

just been the most fun week. I'm out to the 11-ep. Tennis

31:55

was a particular highlight for me this week. Oh

31:57

yeah, yeah, doubles.

33:18

with

34:00

the person, do you remember who it was? It was

34:02

great that you put me on the spot like this. Well

34:04

they were a great quiz

34:07

contestant and the name of, and

34:09

Yaz is searching for it now. You

34:12

should welcome Yaz to the Telendors community by the way. Yes

34:14

you pay it out. Hi!

34:17

Go well Yaz. Cheers. Yes,

34:20

Johnny P. This is your prize. You

34:23

won the quiz, I think it went really well. How

34:25

many people showed up? Over 200. Really?

34:28

Wow! Yeah. Really? That's

34:30

great. We could have filled a pub. It

34:33

was a pub quiz and it was interactive so there will

34:35

be more apparently. So, what

34:37

I watched is space. Well well done Johnny P. for

34:40

winning it. Go well Johnny P. Next up. I'm

34:42

sorry I got to pass it all quickly. George Brody

34:45

in London via Norfolk. Go well. Cheers.

34:47

Cheers. Shane won most improved

34:50

player for Ekington Cricket Club. Go

34:52

well. Cheers.

34:53

Birthdays. Human being birthdays.

34:56

William, Amos, Chris, Hannah who

34:58

is going to be at the Bath Homecoming Show for matching, David,

35:00

the real Taylor, Dom,

35:03

Robbie who's listening to the Batcast dialogue and is only half

35:05

way through it. Cheers. Well hurry up. You know we hear that

35:07

for years before you hear this. Holly

35:10

and Liz who was born the same day as Felix.

35:13

Oh, it's the 21st of September. Liz is a bit late. Go

35:15

well. Cheers. We miss your birthday. You

35:19

were away weren't you? I was in America

35:21

for my birthday. Did we miss your

35:24

birthday? No, we said half a birthday on the

35:26

group. Yeah yeah yeah.

35:28

Didn't get him a card or a present which we don't

35:31

do anyway because we're not like that. I think

35:33

it's fine isn't it? Just a shout out on

35:35

the podcast is enough for most people but

35:37

go well Felix. Can I do a special

35:39

birthday go well to my very very

35:42

good friend Felix White. Go well. I think you

35:44

missed mine as well. Cheers. And also I'd like

35:46

to do another very special shout out to my very good friend

35:49

James Anderson. Go well. Cheers.

35:51

Happy birthday. And mine. You missed mine October.

35:54

I'd also like to do a very very special happy birthday.

35:56

Was it a significant birthday? Well

36:00

no, because no wait it what no the

36:02

reason why we're out of kilter is we

36:05

celebrated his 40th late Oh,

36:07

yeah, and then so then therefore we've forgotten

36:10

Okay, I'd like to the massive shout out my good friend

36:12

very friends match in tendulk on his birthday

36:14

to go well Cheers. Cheers. Okay,

36:16

and mine is the 17th of December. That

36:19

is soonness What would

36:21

you like anything shout out from you on this

36:23

on the discord quiz? Yes, please We

36:26

have some brand new it's not worried about old

36:29

people's birthdays. Let's worry about new people's birthdays

36:32

New tail enders human being babies

36:34

first of all, or nya Leonardo Billy

36:37

Marley and another Felix go

36:40

well cheers lots of Felix Felix

36:45

new gen. Yeah Felix and Freddy. That was

36:47

sweet. They cut did they come from bowl? No, I think

36:50

it was another brother and Jackson

36:52

came about a bowl. Yeah and Ran

36:55

me out ran you out and the pre-mentioned

36:58

Timmy banderson Did

37:00

not hold back when ball in the Jackson, but I'll leave

37:02

it there Joe

37:04

got his first ton Go well,

37:06

she's Katie's coming to the Birmingham show. Hello

37:09

to you. Go well. Go well Also

37:11

cricket clubs human being cricket clubs Brighton

37:13

and Hove cricket club. Oh Welton's

37:16

under 11 go well and Black

37:19

marklets cricket club as well go well. Cheers.

37:22

Can I say another guy well to? Currently

37:25

City Football Club who we've just crossed in

37:27

the lobby of the hotel in Sheffield

37:30

So I imagine they're playing Sheffield Wednesday or Sheffield.

37:32

You know, they'll be playing chefs United cuz shuffle show

37:35

Wednesday Yes, they're beaten by Bristol City

37:37

on the weekend. Were they all right,

37:39

so go on commentary I'll say

37:42

magnanimous Polly

37:44

ran the Amsterdam marathon for a laugh Well

37:47

Sabrina is a new listener after binging

37:50

matching guide to mini-pod. Oh Love

37:53

that Sabrina lovely story. I thought

37:55

we were full well Lee plug as well

37:58

nice Sabrina welcome. Yeah

37:59

Just on that

38:01

I've got a few friends who are coming to the Manchester

38:04

show tonight who have also been listening to them So I

38:06

think if you come into the show and you're bringing a partner or

38:08

a friend that's not listened to the show It's a great way of just

38:10

getting a little insight into the gateway drug.

38:13

It's a good way drug. They're available solely

38:15

exclusively on BBC sounds And

38:18

Holly and Katie are twins. They want to go well

38:21

for Lingfield under 11 go out Cheers

38:23

engagements human being engagement bilateral

38:25

ones. I imagine there are bilateral thing. Yeah,

38:28

honey Don't know if there's

38:30

there aren't any okay simply moving

38:32

on template. Yeah, Chalky

38:34

says it's a standard template there aren't any this week weddings

38:37

though that's human being

38:39

bilateral again bilateral I read our all

38:41

bilateral yeah Rachel and Adam Claire and

38:43

Scott John and Kelly Elliott and Sarah

38:45

and Chris and Josie go well Cheers

38:48

is very well Nick is arranging a match

38:50

on hell vellum in the Lake District. Nice Yeah,

38:53

this would be the highest cricket match played in

38:55

England. Go well That's quite

38:57

like I like to do that Anniversaries

39:00

human being anniversary. Yes, Danny

39:02

and Sally who were the Glastonbury flag bearers

39:06

So happy anniversary to you. I'm

39:08

not a Simon and Danielle go well cheers

39:11

Snipwell, I'll human for sex me this

39:14

must mean yeah is and it's just the one snip

39:16

this week. I agree him Snipwell

39:18

his pipes. Cheers. Well, I'll let it's an

39:20

inaugural snip. Well, he's not reversed it and then

39:22

going back again You're on screen now you can

39:25

reverse your snips Garden

39:27

furniture and equipment shout out now and

39:30

Tom has a new garden homes. He's called it James

39:32

squirtly That's

39:35

quite good. That's James curtley Did

39:41

you his head was even more Parallel

39:44

to the ground he quite singing then yours

39:46

really know he's to his head

39:48

Right. His head used to be like almost

39:50

on the pitch when he evolved right? Okay extraordinary

39:53

action Thanks for listening to

39:55

this telling us from the fun bus you're welcome

39:57

for listening to this tellers we'll see

39:59

See you at the shows, if you're coming to the shows, Birmingham,

40:02

then London, then Bath, Cheers, Go Well,

40:04

tell Enz at BBC of Curdet UK for any correspondence

40:07

of certainty or uncertainty. Yeah.

40:10

Matching Tendulkar, thank you. You're

40:12

welcome. Felix White, thank you. Thank you. I'd

40:15

just like to encourage people to use the hashtag tell Enz World United

40:17

Takeover, because I don't feel like we're pushing that

40:19

enough in the last year to be perfectly honest with you.

40:22

Thank you for being perfectly honest with me. And Jimmy Anderson, thank you.

40:24

Thank you for having me, Greg. Also, yes, thank

40:26

you for your first appearance, inaugural appearance. Thank you.

40:28

And Sharknado. No, you know what to say.

40:30

Have I faded up? Yeah. Oh,

40:33

on the subject. We haven't talked about this. On the subject of

40:35

Am I Faded Up? Yes, I'm faded up. Yeah. In

40:38

the show, the opener of the show, we've got a pre-recorded

40:41

Johnny Bear Stomesses, where he

40:45

says, Sharky,

40:47

are we faded up? And Sharky hasn't

40:49

left quite enough silence on the

40:52

recording. Yeah. And he always rushed.

40:54

You always rush it, don't you? I do. Just

40:56

re-edit it, man. What do you like the danger? I

40:59

like the danger. I knew you liked the danger.

41:01

I want more of a gap. I want more of a gap as well. Because

41:03

I think you could really do a good job there. Let

41:06

it breathe. I'll re-edit for tonight. Let

41:08

it breathe. What like Matt? And

41:10

cut. I'm Mark Chapman

41:13

and this

41:15

is Everton. Nothing

41:20

will be the same. This

41:24

is the story of what happened over

41:26

one of the most difficult and controversial

41:29

seasons in the club's history.

41:31

We go there, I don't think we'll

41:33

even exist in five years, though. We've

41:35

been inside the club talking

41:38

to players,

41:38

coaches and managers who

41:40

are at night and afternoon reading stuff about the one-booking,

41:43

the performance sound from every series, and I

41:45

said nothing will be the same.

41:48

Listen now on BBC Sounds.

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