0:15

Pushkin, and

0:23

sort of what I came to learn was that

0:27

my life has high highs and low lows, just

0:29

like everyone's life, and

0:32

that just because this horrific

0:34

thing was taking my mom away from me, piece

0:36

by piece in a very painful way, it

0:39

doesn't mean I couldn't also find hope

0:42

and I couldn't use my voice to talk

0:44

about Alzheimer's and that I couldn't

0:46

be rallying people together to raise

0:48

money, And it doesn't mean that I can't be creating

0:51

change, and that from

0:53

something really horrible, something

0:55

beautiful has come. And it took me a long time

0:57

to understand that there was room for that. That

1:03

was Lauren Miller Rogan. I'm San Fracoso

1:06

and this is talk Easy

1:08

Well the show.

1:31

Over the past ten fifteen years, Lauren

1:33

has primarily been working as

1:36

an actress, but deep down

1:38

her true ambition is to

1:40

be a writer, and more specifically

1:43

a writer director, And now

1:45

she's making her directorial debut with

1:47

Like Father, premiering on Netflix

1:50

this Friday, August third. It's

1:52

about an ambitious woman who is

1:55

left at the altar, but decides

1:57

to take her honeymoon anyway with

1:59

her a strange father. Here's

2:02

a bit from the trailer, well

2:04

from join the cruise. I was left

2:06

at the altar a few days ago and my dad,

2:09

who I haven't seen since I was five, showed

2:11

up to my wedding unannounced. The two

2:14

of us got incredibly drunk that night,

2:16

and I must have blacked out

2:18

because my

2:20

sweetheart, oh shit, somehow

2:23

I dragged him onto this cruise that was supposed

2:25

to be my honeymoon. Lauren

2:32

and I recorded this conversation I

2:34

think what is now a few weeks ago, and

2:38

she was just at the tail end

2:40

of post production and feeling

2:42

the high of having completed

2:45

something she's worked so hard on for a

2:47

year. And so a lot of the conversation

2:50

is about the challenge of making movies,

2:52

especially your first movie. But

2:55

first we start with her time

2:57

at college, where she began, like many

2:59

other people, figuring out what she

3:02

was going to do with the rest of her life. So,

3:05

finally, here is Lauren

3:07

Miller Rogan. You

3:21

know where I want to start is you

3:24

go to Florida State for college.

3:28

That's where you go to film school. Yeah, tell

3:30

me your earliest memory there about you

3:33

know, your love for for movies.

3:36

Well, it's interesting, I was always a

3:38

writer growing up and wrote like little short stories

3:40

and I acted in you know,

3:42

little camp plays and all that stuff.

3:45

But I was very focused on

3:47

art and I was an artist,

3:50

and I went to an art high school and studied visual

3:52

arts and actually was on a path to

3:54

be a fashion designer and went to f I T in New York

3:56

and after arriving, there was

3:59

an extra in a movie about

4:01

six weeks after arriving and was like, Oh,

4:03

this, this, this is it to be.

4:06

I want to be an extra forever. And I

4:09

don't heard anyone say that before her, but

4:12

so yeah, I realized that fashion

4:15

wasn't necessarily going to be in my path, and then I wanted

4:17

to go in the direction of making

4:19

movies. And after I graduated

4:21

from there, I wanted to stay in New York and be an actor.

4:23

And my parents were like no. And

4:28

my mom was a teacher and my dad

4:30

was a like a plant manager of a manufacturing

4:33

company. So jobs their

4:35

jobs, and you know, we're very passionate about

4:37

My mom especially love teaching and it really

4:39

fulfilled her in a great way and was very

4:42

passionate about it. So I and my dad,

4:44

who was really good and skilled at his job,

4:47

never felt a lot of passion for it, and so both

4:49

of them really instilled in both my brother

4:51

and I to seek out careers

4:53

that would make us happy and make us you know, that

4:56

weren't just jobs for jobs. So my

4:58

dad was like, what about film school? And

5:00

I was like, whoa crazy cool people

5:02

go to film school. But I applied

5:05

and got in

5:07

and went to Florida State, which

5:10

admittedly I went to a bit kicking

5:12

and screaming because I had grown up in Florida and

5:14

it was like, I do not want to go back to Florida.

5:17

I want to go to NYU and I couldn't afford

5:19

NYU. My parents are like Beforida State is a great

5:21

program, and I was like, but I don't want to be in Florida. And

5:23

I really was adamant about not

5:25

going very felt very and couldn't

5:27

have gone with the worst attitude. And I'm

5:29

not joking. On the first day was

5:32

like, oh here, I am okay,

5:34

this is right, and it literally

5:37

it didn't take more than the first day to be like these

5:39

are my people, this is what I'm supposed to be

5:41

doing. Suddenly I feel like

5:43

a person in that time. Do

5:46

you feel like making

5:48

movies is something that's doable. Yeah,

5:52

totally. Immediately. It just felt very

5:56

It felt real, It felt comfortable. It didn't feel

5:58

like, you know, obviously, there was no like,

6:01

you know, disillusions about how easy it

6:03

would be, and you know, but it felt

6:05

like I was learning something that I could

6:07

do and that if I worked hard

6:09

enough, I could do and it. I learned

6:11

it in a way that made sense, and was

6:14

surrounded by people who I knew would be supportive.

6:18

It always felt real. Once I was there, it was like, Oh,

6:20

this is what I'm learning, and then this is after I graduate,

6:22

this is what I will go do. I asked that because

6:26

there's a lot of people who go to film school with

6:29

the idea of making movies, and then once

6:32

you actually start making a movie, it's a real it's

6:34

a pain in the ass. It's really hard. It's really hard.

6:37

It's really hard. It's like the hardest thing I've ever

6:39

tried to do. Yeah,

6:41

and I think people get very quickly

6:44

disillusioned with it. Yeah. Yeah, I

6:46

guess I'm just one of those

6:48

people who's never really taken

6:50

no for an answer throughout my

6:52

whole life. And I

6:54

I don't do well when someone's like, you can't

6:56

do this, and I'm very I was a gymnast

6:58

growing up, so I think it's sort

7:00

of like brainwashed me a little bit to be

7:03

like, must be perfect, must do it. You can do

7:05

it. Set a goal, do it, reach it, do it. And

7:07

so that person sounds yeah,

7:09

I was really awesome and a lot of you know,

7:12

great light childhood. But

7:16

I think it created like a focus in me and just sort

7:18

of a whether it's a naive

7:21

sort of sense of purpose or

7:23

not, it was just sort of like, well, this is what I'm gonna do is I'm

7:25

going to do it right. So you leave college

7:28

and you start by

7:30

looking for work as an actress. No, actually

7:33

I didn't. At that point. Acting

7:35

had sort of taken a bit of a back seat,

7:37

and at that point I

7:41

certainly always wanted to write and direct, but that felt

7:43

a little bit further at that point. And I had done

7:46

a fair amount of producing successfully in

7:48

school, and so I was I'm

7:50

going to go work for a producer and learn

7:52

from a big producer how this industry

7:55

works and sort of how to navigate it. So I

7:57

worked for this producer named Steve Starkey,

7:59

who is Roberts Max's producing partner,

8:02

and they had done you know, from he

8:04

started on back to the Future and was with him and all that stuff.

8:06

So it was obviously a tremendous opportunity.

8:11

Well, I mean I literally of

8:14

my graduating class of twenty

8:16

seven, I think we were we I

8:18

want to say, sixteen of us.

8:21

Fourteen of us caravan to Los Angeles

8:23

together. We had done a short film competition

8:25

and we were going to win an award for it in Vegas,

8:27

so we kind of all met in Vegas to

8:30

get this award, and then we got to La together

8:32

and stayed at the apartments of the people

8:34

who had graduated the year before andrew

8:36

here twenty two two.

8:38

Yeah, and that was that was less than

8:40

two weeks after graduation, and then

8:43

arrived in LA on Monday.

8:46

Within that week, found an apartment and found

8:48

two internships, and the following Monday started

8:51

and turning at two different companies and

8:54

very quickly figured out

8:56

some life here. Yes, well I instantly

8:59

had already. I don't know how I found out about the UTA

9:01

job list, which now

9:04

it's so large that it's impossible to get a job from

9:06

it, but at that point, I guess it was still building. So my

9:08

resume got in there, and I was lucky enough to get two

9:10

internships, and then and

9:13

then I met how

9:16

did that happen? Oh? A short film of mine had

9:18

played at a Jewish film festival in Florida,

9:21

and the woman who ran the festival in Boca

9:25

Boca vertone. It was I made a Jewish film called

9:27

Happy Holidays, Oh my God, and perfect

9:30

audience for her. It was perfect. And so this

9:32

woman who ran the festival her, I want

9:34

to say it was her daughter's friend. I

9:37

think this guy Jordan, who lived

9:39

in la and she was like, meet this boy's very nice and

9:41

we became friends. And he worked at Image Movers, which

9:43

is Zamex's company, and he told

9:45

me they were looking for a second for Steve, and I

9:48

applied and luckily my boss

9:50

that I was interning for had worked with

9:53

them years ago, so we called and anyway,

9:55

long story short got me in there, and I was there for

9:57

three years and was

9:59

there for the end of Polar Express and

10:02

Beowulf and Monster House, all the sort

10:04

of the birth of motion capture, which was obviously

10:07

very interesting time to be there. So that

10:09

time, you're not are

10:11

you writing? So yes, So I was writing.

10:14

Around a year into it, I started sort

10:16

of being like why aren't I acting still? So I started

10:18

taking some improv classes and improp writers

10:20

classes and stuff like that. But

10:22

I wrote a script while I was there, while I was an assistant,

10:25

and the director of development sent

10:28

it around to agencies and that's how I

10:30

landed an agent. Yeah,

10:32

and that that worked out. Yeah, I can see

10:34

it because of what you said earlier, which

10:37

is you're someone who's

10:39

diligent and like going to keep

10:41

going at it. Did you face

10:44

rejection early on there? Oh?

10:47

Yeah, a big time huge. Well

10:49

I don't want to class over that. Yeah, this industry

10:51

is, certainly, you know, just comes with constant

10:54

rejection. How do you deal? You said

10:56

when you've received rejection

10:59

that you're pretty undeterred by

11:01

it. I mean it's hard. I didn't want to say it like

11:03

rolls off my back because it doesn't. And don't

11:05

get me wrong, it sucks, but it's

11:08

part of this industry. So it's part of many

11:10

industries, but this industry

11:12

in particular, it's about putting yourself

11:14

out there and there's no version

11:17

where you get it. Yes, every time you put yourself

11:19

out there. It's just it's not reality, and I understand

11:22

that, and it's just sort of I guess

11:24

for me, it's believing enough

11:26

that my work or

11:28

whatever it is that I'm putting out there is worthwhile

11:30

and to just keep going and sort of Okay,

11:33

that person didn't get it, who will? Where's the person

11:35

who's going to get it? Yeah, something about it

11:37

feels more personal though, the rejection

11:40

as opposed to you know, like, my mother's

11:42

a lawyer, and so if she didn't

11:44

get into a certain law

11:46

firm, it feels

11:49

one gender

11:52

based them in a lot of women lawyers were rejected

11:54

for years. Yeah. Something about

11:56

acting though, or writing,

11:58

but especially acting is like do you

12:01

like me as a human on the

12:03

screen, And then they're like, no, we don't

12:06

like we don't like your face. Yeah,

12:09

I don't like anything about your personality.

12:11

Now, you know, I think that I'm

12:13

really I think

12:16

I'm a little bit fortunate in

12:18

that in film school I cast

12:21

actors for my projects

12:24

and understood

12:27

a little bit, whether I realized it

12:29

or not, that it

12:31

often doesn't have anything to do with the person.

12:34

It's what the director's looking for and what is

12:36

right for the role. And I really

12:38

do understand that. I think the frustrating

12:41

parts are It's rare when

12:43

it's like, oh, I'm perfect for that,

12:45

and there have been a few of those, and those nose

12:47

are painful and I still hold on to them

12:49

today. But honestly, that's

12:52

it's so rare because I

12:54

think there are, you know, the things

12:56

that you're really right for, especially a

12:58

role, there are specific actors who will

13:01

bring that role to life in a way that it deserves

13:03

too, versus you know, someone that isn't quite right for it.

13:06

Yeah, rock me through one

13:09

who leave the company? What

13:11

are your days like at that point? So

13:14

the last three years settled in. Yeah, In the last

13:17

year, I had sort of started to be like,

13:19

Okay, what's happening here. I gotten

13:21

an agent that I was essentially doing nothing with,

13:23

and so I saved up a

13:25

fair amount of money that could help me live

13:28

for It was like six to eight months

13:30

that I could live on. So eventually was like, okay, I'm just

13:32

gonna I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna quit, and

13:34

so I quitted. At that point, I was I was in regular

13:37

and acting class regularly and doing

13:39

that, you know, once or twice a week. So

13:41

you're twenty six, Yeah, And

13:43

I had coincidentally

13:46

had started dating my husband a year and a half after moving

13:48

to LA And I guess about

13:51

a year and a half into our relationship was when they

13:53

made Super Bad And was

13:55

that right? No, no no, I'm sorry. The first year that we were dating,

13:57

they made it, and I happened to be on set when

14:00

an actor dropped out for the next day and

14:02

the producer was like, do you want to play this part?

14:05

And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

14:07

I do, Yeah, I really do. And

14:09

and so luckily I'd had this little tighty

14:11

part in a funny movie. And so

14:13

then I, you know, occasionally would

14:15

be led into audition for things, but for the most

14:17

part was writing, and you know, I was

14:19

trying to come up with an idea to sell

14:22

or you know, just create a sample that would

14:24

help me get jobs or whatever. And I'd come

14:26

up with this idea, and I

14:28

guess about five months after leaving

14:31

my job, I sold it to a production

14:33

company and made

14:35

enough money to keep on living. And honestly,

14:38

it took me a long time. I didn't even because at

14:40

the point when I met my husband, I

14:42

was only really in class at that point. And I actually didn't

14:45

even tell him because he made a comment when we first met

14:47

how he doesn't like to date actors. So I actually

14:49

didn't even talk about that. I acted for like the

14:51

first like three months of our relationship,

14:53

and it just like lean more into the writing

14:55

because at that point I wasn't even really taking any classes.

14:58

I was taking writing classes and was

15:00

more focused on that just and I had a lot of

15:02

insecurities and still do about it because

15:04

it's it's hard, you know, and it's

15:06

a very judgmental area. Um,

15:10

what are the insecurities? Am I good enough?

15:13

Do people like me? Do they when they look at me? Do they

15:15

think I'm a bad actor? Do they think I'm just you

15:17

know, doing the wrong thing? Like was

15:20

that real? You know, all the normal things

15:22

I'm trying to think. No, I don't think

15:24

so. No, Well look at

15:26

you right now, and I didn't think you're

15:28

a bad actor. Oh thank you. But I also

15:31

wasn't thinking about that question. You said it

15:33

to yourself. Yeah, but I think, well,

15:35

I can't speak for other actors, but I

15:38

think that well, any artists, whether you're

15:40

an actor or writer, director, visual

15:43

artists, etc. I think we

15:45

all you know, when you put yourself out

15:47

there personally, it's scary

15:49

and even the most confident person. I

15:52

don't I don't know, but I

15:54

certainly can never be like I fully believe in myself.

15:57

It's just I don't know who is like that,

15:59

not me? Is that the goal? I

16:02

don't know. I don't it's

16:05

not the goal for me, because certainly I know it's not achievable

16:07

at this point. Do you think it's not achievable? I

16:10

think part of what keeps artists

16:14

going is that desire

16:16

to work harder and be

16:19

better and tell a better story

16:21

or you know, sort

16:24

of explain a stronger emotion, or

16:26

you know, to constantly be working toward getting

16:28

that. And I don't know, for me, at

16:30

least, if I felt a fully

16:32

satisfied creatively, I don't

16:35

know, because I've never felt it. I've always felt the urge to keep

16:37

going, keep pushing, get better, work harder.

16:40

It can always be better. How much of that is

16:42

the gymnasts mentality? Probably

16:45

a large part of it. I had a

16:47

therapist early on who was

16:50

one day she was like, oh, oh I get

16:52

it, Oh now I get it. You were a gymnast.

16:54

You're constantly striving for a completely

16:57

unobtainable perfection you want to tend

16:59

and that's not achievable. But a

17:02

gymnast will constantly work for it even

17:04

though they know it's essentially not possible. And

17:06

I don't know if that's something that's ingrained in me, but

17:10

I think that's what keeps me going. Right then,

17:13

I guess the question is is that Okay?

17:16

I think it is. I think within balance.

17:18

I think, you know, through a

17:21

lot of work on myself, and through a

17:23

lot of good therapy, honestly, and great

17:26

friendships and getting positive

17:28

feedback from my work over the years, it becomes

17:30

a balance. But I don't

17:32

want to ever lose that desire to

17:34

work harder or do better or

17:37

you know, be a stronger artist.

17:39

I don't ever want to lose that the people

17:42

in the beginning when you're working and

17:45

I feel like the work ethic has been the same, you

17:47

know, this is a strange place to live. I

17:51

was thinking, were people ever

17:54

intimidated by you? I don't

17:56

know, by like your ambitions. Maybe

17:59

one of my best girlfriends we met

18:01

in high school, but she always talks about

18:03

when we first met in ninth grade. She didn't like me for

18:06

a year because she thought I was

18:08

snobby. And I think that's all my friends.

18:10

I think that that's how they tell a story to everyone.

18:12

I didn't like him in the beginning, And I was like, Jesus,

18:15

these people who are closest to me didn't like me in

18:17

the beginning. Isn't that weird? It's not good?

18:19

Why do you think they felt that way about you? But for the

18:21

same reason, you know, the complete

18:23

pain in the ass and stubborn and

18:27

arrogant and all that. Yeah, I

18:29

think it's I'd especially stopped saying that. I

18:31

think, you know, I think I had a focus

18:34

of just sort of a I'm going to do

18:36

this stuff and that

18:39

you know, maybe you know, young people didn't.

18:41

I don't. I don't think. I hope people don't feel

18:44

that way anymore. I don't know. That

18:47

was the most vulnerable you've been in

18:50

the last twenty five minutes. I hope they don't. That

18:52

was a sincere hope that you. Thank you. I

18:54

really hope they don't. Are

18:57

you worried that they do? Sure? I'm

18:59

a human, I

19:02

think for me and

19:04

Lisa, and I'm just talking about me, probably

19:07

a little bit. Yeah, to get

19:09

over that. It is althowise, I get older,

19:11

I do care a little bit less.

19:14

Okay, a little bit less is a note

19:16

for myself. Yea, yeah, older,

19:18

care less Yeah, people always

19:20

say that, but I'm like, do you really? I know I had always

19:22

heard that, and then honestly, in this past year, and perhaps

19:25

it's because I've been so focused, I haven't had time to think

19:27

about all the other ship. But like I literally,

19:29

like like a month ago, was like, oh, I

19:32

I think I might care a little bit less

19:35

what people think. I'm not saying I don't care

19:37

at all, because certainly I do, right, But I

19:40

think it's part of like getting older

19:42

and also feeling more confident

19:44

in myself. And you know, having

19:47

now directed and having done sort of

19:49

one of my largest life goals

19:52

has given me, you know, a more

19:54

comfort with myself and where I am. Did

19:56

it feel like when you made for a

19:58

good time call that you had and

20:00

whatever sentence like made it for

20:04

a good time call was such a wild,

20:07

wild experience. Well, now

20:09

we're far enough for a moon that we can talk about it.

20:11

Yeah, And now that you have like retrospect,

20:14

Yeah, you know, I

20:16

had written the script with a partner with

20:18

a friend of mine, and we'd

20:21

set it up at a production company and

20:23

I was not going to act in it, and we were

20:25

just going to try to sell it and get it made with big

20:27

name actors, and it

20:30

was like going down a path and we're going to some people

20:32

and like no one really bit and whatever. And then

20:35

one day I was traveling

20:39

on a press tour with my husband who was working,

20:41

and I call it my lost in translation moment because

20:43

I was like in a hotel room in a foreign country having

20:45

this sort of what am I doing with myself moment?

20:48

Right, and was like, what

20:50

am I doing? Like I wrote this script.

20:53

The character's name is Lauren, like

20:55

it's based on me, Like why

20:57

don't I just make this movie? And

21:00

literally in that moment, I like email my partner, emailed

21:03

our agents, was like, hey, we're

21:05

going to take it away from this production company, who were

21:07

lovely by the way, and we're

21:09

going to make it on our own. And my brother, who works in finance,

21:11

had always been like, I can find a little bit of money for you to

21:13

make a movie, and I was like okay,

21:16

And so we set off on this journey

21:18

to make it on our own, which was a crazy, wild

21:20

ride and got, you know, just some really

21:23

wonderful people to work on it. And Jamie

21:25

Travis, our director, was so great, and Ari

21:27

Grayner, who acted in it with me, was a

21:30

dream come true. But

21:32

we did it so fast. We shot it in sixteen

21:35

days, which was insane, and

21:37

you know, and then literally three months

21:39

after we finished shooting it, it it was at Sundance

21:42

and it was just such a fast, wild

21:44

experience and very overwhelming. And I felt

21:47

a lot of insecurity about

21:49

it, just being out of the performance,

21:52

about the performance, about about all

21:54

of it, honestly, because it was the first time I'd put

21:56

myself out there in such a such a big

21:58

way, and it was really scary,

22:02

and I honestly can't even

22:05

pinpoint why, except that I just had this fear

22:08

of great injection and that everyone wouldn't

22:10

like it that,

22:14

you know, when I think about it now, it was just such a crazy

22:16

time. But yeah, but luckily, you

22:18

know, people seem to still

22:20

like it, and it's got a warm place in some people's

22:23

hearts. I like the lost in Translation moment.

22:25

Yeah, I actually think

22:28

it's more interesting if it's the woman in the lost

22:30

in Translation role. Though Bill

22:32

Perry was great, it very great.

22:34

Did you feel that

22:37

a few didn't act

22:39

in it, that you didn't do it yourself, that

22:41

the movie would just take

22:43

it longer and longer and longer, and then maybe

22:46

it just wouldn't even happen. It

22:48

was more about me.

22:50

It was more about like, this is my chance,

22:53

Like this is what I'm talking about all the time.

22:55

I want to do something for myself. I want to make something.

22:57

I want to I want to show people that I

22:59

can do this, this thing that it seems like no

23:01

one thinks that I can do. And

23:04

it was more about proving to myself

23:06

and I think the world around me, who probably

23:08

didn't care, but just proving that I could do it. What

23:11

world around dude didn't care? I mean,

23:13

I just mean, like I don't think anyone was thinking, well,

23:16

Lauren can't do this, because people don't think about other people

23:18

that way, you know what I mean. I'm saying they didn't care. It

23:20

was just like, it's crazy

23:22

how often those things are imagined

23:25

by us. Oh totally, Like I

23:27

think our people don't have time to like, no,

23:29

no one cares what I'm doing. They barely

23:32

believe that they can do the things they're doing exactly

23:35

exactly. It's so sad. Yet

23:38

it's a complete hang up for all of us.

23:40

Yeah, because to

23:42

create something is not

23:44

only takes a lot of time, but it is

23:46

so personal. Yeah, and a rejection

23:48

of that, you know, it's like the acting thing, it's

23:52

a rejection of me. Yeah,

23:55

and that feels it

23:57

feels bad. I mean it feels bad. It feels

23:59

really bad. Do you ever wonder, like why the hell

24:03

people want to make movies? Yeah,

24:07

because it's so hard. It's

24:09

so hard. But I think that

24:12

when it's not hard, when you're on set

24:15

and it's working, and your

24:18

script is written and your actors are doing

24:20

it and your crew is doing what they're good

24:22

at, it's worth it.

24:25

It's worth all that

24:27

struggle and all that rejection and all

24:29

that pain of people saying

24:31

no to get to that,

24:33

because that high is Yeah,

24:36

that's kind of high, the best kind of high.

24:39

Yeah, that's true. That's

24:41

a good response. Yeah. I like that you're more positive

24:43

than I am. Yeah, And I'm like the younger person

24:45

in this conversation. I mean a year ago, I wouldn't have given

24:47

you that answer. But really that's

24:50

encouraging. Yeah. Yeah, But now

24:52

that I've been through it well and now that I

24:55

know that, like the all the I

24:57

mean, it was not easy to get this movie. No, no

24:59

movie is easy to get made. But we had

25:01

a lot of struggles in this movie and you know,

25:04

very came very close to not happening, and

25:06

I had some very dark moments. This is like

25:09

father, This is like father. Yeah, what is

25:11

What are some of the harder moments?

25:15

So many of them? I mean getting

25:18

cast was difficult. Um.

25:21

We had an actor drop out three weeks

25:23

before we were supposed to start production, which

25:26

killed the movie, um, and nearly

25:28

killed me. And

25:31

how do you respond to something like that? I

25:33

mean I didn't to the person

25:36

who dropped out right, um, but

25:38

um. And then my response was I

25:40

literally like gope was in physical pain.

25:43

I like threw my neck out and couldn't move my neck

25:45

for a week. And I

25:47

mean it really it defeated

25:49

me in a very dark way. However,

25:53

whatever it is inside me was like, but no,

25:55

we have to keep going, we have to keep pushing, we have

25:57

to push harder. We can do this, we can do this, we

26:00

can do this. And then we did. Um.

26:02

You know, and before cast, it was getting people to

26:05

read it, getting studios to read it, getting production

26:07

companies to read it, like you

26:09

know, getting someone to get behind to

26:11

finance it like was nearly

26:14

impossible. You know. Yeah,

26:16

it's it's you know, I think there will be some people

26:20

who hear this, And there's

26:22

an obvious thing, which is like, your

26:25

husband is doing so well right, and

26:28

I am incurious lessen

26:31

him and more about like how do you

26:34

grapple with that with like the fact

26:36

that your husband is doing incredibly well right, but

26:38

you also independent of him,

26:40

very independent of him, want to

26:43

make your own stuff. Yeah, it's

26:45

been an interesting journey, honestly. We um

26:48

Our first date was the week after they wrapped

26:51

four year Old Virgin, so that movie hadn't

26:53

even come out yet, and it was so

26:55

early on that like I didn't even we didn't

26:58

text like it was before texting, Like I didn't google

27:00

him, you know what I mean, Like, and I'd seen I'd

27:03

seen like some episodes of Freaks and Geeks, so I like

27:05

kind of, you know, he was like an actor that was on a canceled

27:07

TV shows even like before it was cool

27:09

again kind of and so you

27:13

know, But then I would say, I think it was through or four

27:15

months after we started dating for the year Virgin had come

27:17

out, and so

27:20

shortly after that things started to pick up for him and he would

27:22

get scripts sent to him, and this was when

27:24

they would arrive on your doorstep at

27:26

the end of the day from a messenger, and

27:28

so I would come home from work to his apartment

27:30

and they would just be sitting there and he wouldn't read them.

27:33

And I remember early on I got really frustrated

27:35

because I was like, I'm answering

27:37

the phone and getting lunch all day and you're getting scripts

27:40

that you're not even reading right, And

27:42

we had to have this moment of like, this

27:44

is how you do things, and this is how I do things,

27:47

And then what

27:50

does that mean? Meaning that like that's

27:52

his process, and like I don't need to be

27:54

frustrated if he doesn't go after

27:56

every opportunity that comes his way, just because

27:59

I wish that I had those opportunities. And

28:01

it was a hard it was a hard

28:03

thing to overcome, but I but I did because

28:06

I just realized that's his process, not mine,

28:08

and his career was going to be his career. And

28:11

honestly, it's been an amazing example

28:14

for me to learn from, and I feel very

28:16

lucky to have had a front row seat to it, because

28:19

I don't know anyone that works harder than my husband,

28:21

and he is

28:24

so smart and he

28:26

is just so naturally

28:29

gifted to know his own voice and

28:31

what is right for him, and that's

28:33

what's been in the incredible lesson to

28:36

learn is that like he knows when something

28:38

won't be authentic to him. And

28:40

I feel like I've gotten to watch that process

28:42

and have learned from it, and I never

28:45

after we sort of had that talk, I sort of never felt

28:47

that way again because

28:50

I've never seen anyone work harder than him.

28:52

I really haven't, And like everything,

28:54

it's just I feel like I've learned so much. And

28:57

there are people who were like, well, couldn't your husband,

29:00

Like when I had for a good time called there, well what is your husband

29:02

help you set it up right? And I literally

29:04

would be really insulted by that, and

29:06

like I literally was like grossed out. People

29:09

would say that to me, like you you think I need

29:11

my husband to make calls for me? Like

29:13

thanks a lot. Yeah, you think I'm not worth

29:16

it, You think that the script I've written is not worth it, that I

29:18

need him, And I

29:21

think that's a symptom of you know, people of

29:23

of things historically

29:26

in this industry or any industry. But

29:29

it's also I mean imagine the flip side

29:31

of it, say like you had the career

29:33

of Seth and he had your

29:35

career. I don't think he

29:39

would be you know, he would go out and then his

29:41

friends would say, well, why doesn't

29:43

your wife just make calls for you? No, well,

29:46

I think it's it's very much about gender

29:49

in this case, one hundred percent. And then

29:51

at the same time, if he did make those calls

29:53

for me, those people wouldn't respect me, right, you

29:55

know, and they may begrudgingly do

29:57

it exactly, and so it

29:59

will always be under the pretense of exactly.

30:02

And I never I really

30:04

tried really hard to make sure to

30:06

not put myself in that situation and

30:09

to never open myself up as much as

30:11

I possibly could to those

30:14

comments, just because I was very sensitive to it. And

30:17

yet there's another part, which is

30:19

like, he is your partner, and

30:21

we do ask our partners for help, Like

30:24

anyone who's ever been in love with anyone,

30:27

it's like, hey, yeah, you're we're doing

30:30

this because like you can help me and I can help me,

30:32

right, and also it would be fun to do together, right,

30:34

Yeah, So how do you how do you navigate

30:36

that sort of like I do want your help on this, right,

30:39

but I also need to do this on my own. I think

30:41

it's picking and choosing how to ask for help,

30:43

you know, with for a good time calls as an example,

30:46

once we sort of had the idea there

30:48

are these, like, you know, a few

30:51

phone sex calls throughout the movie, and

30:53

once you should have had the idea to make those cameos

30:56

and to cast funny comedians. Of course,

30:58

I was like, would you do it? And the

31:01

thing is, he'll say no if it's

31:03

not funny enough. And if I can create

31:05

a case that's that is funny. And he thought it

31:07

was funny, right, and so he said

31:09

yes, you know, and it's just one of those things where

31:12

like but I never helped

31:14

asked him to help me set it up, or never

31:17

sent one of my scripts to anyone like, you

31:20

know, because that doesn't that's not

31:22

true to who I am. Wouldn't feel right. Have

31:24

you felt a lot of people writing you off

31:27

as someone who's the partner

31:29

of someone doing great? Yes,

31:32

I mean I often

31:35

have said that. I you know, when we go out,

31:37

I feel like the shadow who stands next to

31:39

him, right, And you know there have been

31:41

many times where you know, we'll

31:44

go out two nights in a row and we'll hang

31:46

out with someone for twenty minutes one night and then

31:48

the next night, I'll see them and say hello, and they

31:50

have no idea who I am, because all they've

31:52

done is look at my husband. Or like

31:55

even in a simple example like our coffee

31:57

shop, if I go there by myself, they don't

31:59

know me really because

32:01

they're so focused on him. But

32:04

it is what it is. Yeah,

32:07

but what does that do for your spirit? Now?

32:12

I don't care at this point. Honestly, maybe

32:15

early on it would have mattered, but like, at

32:18

this point, it is. It is what it is. There's

32:20

so many more benefits to you

32:23

know, so many nice things that come along

32:25

with his very fortunate success that of

32:27

course that those things. It's it's

32:30

not hard to not focus on it, you know, even if

32:32

it exists. You know, it's funny because this

32:34

this scenario you're explaining,

32:38

you know, the details are very specific

32:40

to you, but it's not uncommon

32:43

for people of any you know. It's like, I'm

32:45

thinking just about my own parents, and

32:48

I had seen it in social settings where you know, my

32:51

dad was like the focus, and

32:54

my mother would go out and she would come home

32:56

and they'd be fighting and they say, you know, the

32:58

one said a goddamn thing to me. So

33:01

it's not like specific. It's not just like Hollywood

33:03

stuff, No, not at all. It is like dynamics.

33:05

No. And you know when I understand

33:08

it a bit, and you know, you go to these Hollywood

33:11

parties and the truth is it's full of insecure

33:14

people, just as insecure as as

33:16

me and my husband, and everyone's just trying

33:18

to fit in. And it's taken

33:20

me a long time to sort of grapple

33:22

with that and understand it that everyone just wants to

33:24

feel comfortable at a crazy party. Um

33:28

well, because you know those parties, you

33:30

know, the when I first

33:32

moved here, I was like, oh, I gotta do that, I gotta try And then

33:34

then you do that, and then you're like, oh Jesus Christ,

33:37

these are actually the

33:40

most painful things because it's

33:42

a bunch of very insecure people who

33:44

are probably weird and

33:46

like upset with themselves about whatever,

33:49

all like projecting things

33:53

onto you. And then

33:55

on top of it, like there are drugs involved. So then

33:57

it's like Jesus, but do we know the state of mind

34:00

to any of anyone? Yeah, and it's very

34:02

rarely about the person you're

34:05

with. But I'm gonna I'll be honest

34:08

when you describe that scenario of like I

34:10

talked to someone for twenty minutes and then I

34:13

see them and I'm like, I have

34:15

a good memory, but I'm sure

34:17

I have forgotten people because also in

34:19

that twenty minutes, I'm like anxious,

34:22

right, and I'm like, oh God, does this person hate

34:24

me? Right, I'm not thinking like I'm going to see them tomorrow,

34:27

so let me like retain all this information, right,

34:30

So I guess my point

34:32

is it's difficult. Yeah.

34:35

I think the thing is that it's and

34:38

again, this probably all comes with age

34:40

and just sort of where I'm at currently

34:42

is sort of recognizing that everyone

34:46

sort of has shit and no one

34:48

I don't know anyone who one hundred percent has it together,

34:51

you know, and constantly

34:53

reminding myself of like, oh

34:56

I feel uncomfortable, so does everyone else

34:58

here, and we're kind of trying our best,

35:00

and you know, I'm going to go

35:02

home and think of everything I said wrong. But

35:04

you know, it's so it's probably

35:07

you know, are you still doing Yeah,

35:10

don't you do that. I'm working on blocking

35:12

those statements out. I mean unless

35:15

there's something like deeply like terrible, right,

35:17

right, I've said like something where I'm like, oh God,

35:19

was that like almost racist Jesus

35:23

Christ, and I hope

35:25

they were drunk enough to forget that. Look,

35:30

this is a show where we're trying to be honest, be honest

35:32

here. I just admitted that I've you've said almost

35:35

racist things. Let's be honest. It was racist.

35:37

It was not almost totally added the

35:39

almost because it was like completely, maybe like

35:41

more if it was almost, it

35:45

was Trevor, there's person No,

35:49

I just it's a it's

35:51

a it's a minefield. Um.

35:54

I I was gonna ask you do you take

35:57

that stuff personally?

36:00

You know, when you're going into a coffee shop and

36:04

they're like, we've seen you

36:06

here a hundred times more than that,

36:09

we don't know you m does

36:12

that bother you? I mean, clearly it

36:14

does, because it's you know, you're mentioning

36:16

on a podcast exactly. You know. Can

36:19

I say that it's something I think about often if you hadn't

36:21

asked the question, not

36:23

really okay, But

36:26

but it's there, you know, it's certainly there,

36:28

and and it's something that you

36:30

know in time, as you know, as

36:33

my husband has grown in you

36:35

know his and

36:39

how recognizable he is over the years. Whatever it is,

36:41

it's grown, it's it's changed, and it's you

36:43

know, and it ebbs and flows a little bit, i'd

36:45

say in how much I care about it? Um,

36:48

you know, and it's there, but I you

36:50

know, at this point, who knows,

36:53

maybe if it'll change, but at this point it's sort of

36:55

just it's there and it is what it is. You know,

36:58

it is what it is. It's part of it. What

37:00

does your family think about

37:03

about that dynamic? About your career

37:06

now all of it? I

37:08

mean, my

37:12

my family's very Oh

37:14

gosh, my family so many things. It's

37:16

hard to like say one thing. They're great.

37:19

They they There wasn't there was an honest thing.

37:21

I think you were going to say, Well, I know I

37:23

was going to say, they're they're practical. Okay,

37:25

they're very practical. Give me some practical

37:27

tidbits from them. Well, Like, as an example, my

37:30

mom was very strong

37:32

on there is no future in acting be

37:34

a fashion designer, which

37:36

I know is an outrageous statement and

37:39

I don't know why she thought of being a fashion designers

37:42

very stable, it's the most stable industry. Haven't

37:44

you heard that? I have actually just now for

37:46

the first time. Um,

37:51

so there, you know, I think you know,

37:53

in some of my extended family,

37:55

and you know, I think there's

37:57

a sort of a conception of, oh,

38:00

Lauren doesn't work because I don't have

38:02

a traditional job that I go to every day, and

38:04

that we don't live in the real world because we

38:07

have some of these extraordinary experiences.

38:10

Um. Um.

38:13

But my dad, I've just kind

38:16

of touched him before, was a dreamer

38:18

and he never felt a

38:20

lot of career satisfaction. And

38:23

therefore he instilled in both me

38:25

and my brother to have big dreams and

38:27

to go for them and that we could do whatever

38:29

we wanted. So for my dad, he

38:33

would say none of this is a surprise and

38:35

that he saw all of this coming. Um.

38:38

Whether he actually did or not, I don't know, but

38:40

um, but that he, you

38:43

know, believed in anything

38:45

that I or my brother honestly wanted to do.

38:48

And so for him, this is you know, he'll say it's

38:50

very natural. I don't know if that's true

38:52

or not, but um,

38:54

but yeah, So it's it's been an experience. And you

38:57

know, my dad is a huge movie buff.

38:59

It's the reason why I was into movies, and

39:02

so for him it's been amazing

39:04

and and he lives out here now and

39:08

it's for him, it's exciting and greyton.

39:11

He loves to sort of have a window into this world.

39:14

You know, I have read

39:18

up on your mother a little bit. Do

39:20

you remember when you heard

39:23

the news about her illness. I

39:25

mean it was a progression, so it wasn't just you know,

39:28

one day we got a phone call and yeah, this

39:30

is your mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

39:32

It's not how it went, you know. It was my grandparents

39:35

had My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer's,

39:38

my grandmother was. Her diagnosis

39:40

was always mixed up between Alzheimer's and Parkinson's

39:42

and general dementia.

39:45

And so when my mom started showing symptoms

39:48

which I first noticed at my college graduation, what

39:51

happened at college graduation. She was

39:53

repeating a story and I don't even remember what the story

39:55

was at this point, but she just told

39:58

us the same story a few times. You

40:00

remember that very clearly, very clearly, And

40:03

it was just sort of like weight

40:07

that entered my body. And

40:11

but I didn't say anything to anyone, obviously.

40:14

It's interesting that it happens on a

40:17

day of celebration. I know, I wonder

40:19

if it had happened another day, if I would have remembered

40:21

it. No, probably not.

40:24

No, it's because there's a high

40:27

of something of like I've worked two and a half

40:30

years. I think it was right at Florida State

40:33

and then receiving this news

40:35

that like only you in that moment

40:38

or processing. Yeah,

40:41

it seems vivid even now. I mean, yeah,

40:43

we're how many years were removed from that, I

40:45

mean yeah, fourteen fourteen years?

40:47

Yeah, yeah, And you know, so then

40:51

you know, over the next year

40:53

or two, you know, it started happening

40:55

more and there were more signs of something

40:59

wrong in her brain um and

41:02

um. And then eventually, I

41:04

guess three years after that, we you

41:06

know, sort of my dad had taken a review

41:09

places and then eventually went to a neurologist

41:11

and got this diagnosis. And

41:16

we weren't surprised. I think it just sort of confirmed

41:18

what we were all very afraid

41:20

of, you

41:23

know. And I wasn't

41:27

prepared for it, even though we had sort of been

41:29

thinking it was coming, and certainly

41:31

wasn't prepared for what would come after, which

41:33

was a lot of darkness and devastation

41:37

and hopelessness and anger and

41:39

depression and guilt and

41:42

all those dark, dark feelings

41:44

of just utter hopelessness about

41:47

her, about me, about the world, And

41:53

you know, it was really hard. It

41:55

was a hard time. It was a hard

41:57

time. In those first few years. You felt like

41:59

there was no way to move forward. I

42:03

felt like, what was the point, Like

42:05

if this was going to happen to her, and

42:08

this could happened to such

42:10

a wonderful, amazing, perfect

42:14

person, which I felt like my mom was, you

42:16

know, what's

42:18

the point, Like how terrible,

42:21

Like this is the world, this is what she gets, This

42:23

is so unfair. And really

42:25

had a hard time reconciling with how

42:27

do I live my life while this is happening

42:30

to someone that I

42:33

love so tremendously right, And it

42:35

was really hard to watch her go through

42:37

it, to watch my dad go through it. And

42:39

then you know, eventually got

42:42

to get great therapist who helped me

42:44

gain a perspective on it and started

42:47

talking about it, and you know, for the

42:49

first while, didn't tell anyone about it. My

42:51

mom didn't want us to tell anyone about it. She

42:53

was embarrassed, She was embarrassed.

42:55

She was very embarrassed. She was very ashamed

42:58

that she had this disease that was going to take her brain

43:00

away from her. She

43:03

didn't want people to feel sorry for her. She

43:06

didn't want it to change our lives. She

43:08

made it very clear I was not to move home

43:10

to Florida to take care of her. She

43:13

did not want that. She

43:17

didn't. I think she was a really

43:19

strong, independent, just

43:22

a fighter in every way, you know, and

43:26

this thing was going to happen to her that she

43:28

would was not going to be able to fight. And

43:31

I think it was hard for all of us to

43:34

reconcile with that for a long time. So

43:37

what's the perspective you get that allows

43:39

you to move forward. I think

43:41

the work that I have done in therapy is

43:43

that, And you had sort of touched

43:46

on it before, which was, this

43:48

can be my mom's journey over here on the side,

43:50

which is horrible and terrible and the worst

43:52

thing ever, But that doesn't

43:55

mean that over here there can also

43:57

be good things. And sort of what

43:59

I came to learn was that my

44:02

life has high highs and low lows,

44:04

just like everyone's life, and

44:07

that just because this her fick

44:09

thing was taking my mom away from me piece

44:11

by piece in a very painful way, it

44:14

doesn't mean I couldn't also find hope

44:16

and I couldn't use my voice to talk

44:19

about Alzheimer's and that I couldn't

44:21

be rallying people together to raise

44:23

money and it doesn't mean that I can't be creating

44:26

change, and that from

44:28

something really horrible, something

44:30

beautiful has come. And it took me a long time

44:32

to understand that there was room for that. I

44:35

a dear friend of mine. I've

44:38

done a lot of Tony Robbins's work in her life,

44:40

and she would always tell me like, no, there's

44:43

a light in here that you have to find it, like

44:45

it's not all darkness. And I can remember

44:47

this one conversation with her where I was just like no,

44:50

I No, there's no good here. I don't

44:52

understand how there could be any good

44:54

from this. This is horrible. When

44:56

was this, I mean at this point that was

44:58

probably seven years

45:01

ago. I don't I don't know if we'd started

45:04

Hilarity for Charity at that point, because

45:06

shortly after we started Hilarity for Charity, I

45:08

was like, Oh, this is what

45:10

she was talking about, right, There can

45:12

be good that comes from bad. And

45:17

everyone has shit, Like I said,

45:19

you know, everyone deals with

45:22

their own version of devastation,

45:24

whatever it may be. A lot

45:26

of people have it much worse than I do. And

45:32

if we're going to choose to live

45:34

life, we have to accept that there can be

45:36

shit here and good here

45:39

and they can co exist together. And you know,

45:41

sometimes we have to go over here and live

45:44

in the sadness and then we can go over here

45:46

and live in the good things. And that's how that's

45:48

how the world keeps going. What placed are

45:50

you mostly in these days? Mostly

45:52

I'm in a positive place, which is weird because

45:54

a few years ago I would have never

45:57

believed me if I had said that, I really

45:59

wouldn't have like, I mean really like. I had

46:01

some major anger problems for a long time.

46:04

Oh yeah, what were the anger? Oh my god?

46:06

I was just angry at everything. How do you

46:08

like hit a garbage can? Or Um?

46:12

No? I I mean I still

46:14

have road rage, but the road rage is really bad

46:16

back then. Oh um, so funny. I was talking

46:18

to my best friend on the drive over here, and I

46:21

said something about someone who's stopped on the side of the road

46:23

who was like, up there you are, but

46:28

um, when you walked in that there was

46:30

some rage. Whenever I get out of the car, I have

46:32

to be like, um, but

46:34

um no, it's it was. I

46:37

had just a very negative attitude about the world.

46:39

I just thought everyone was just

46:42

like everyone's stupid. No one knows

46:44

what they're doing. Everyone's dumb. Everyone

46:46

just wandering around without

46:48

a new purpose. No one's doing anything. Of

46:53

course, not I'm the only one who's doing everything right,

46:57

of course, but

47:00

um, you know, I just I had a real I

47:02

had a real like what's the point of all of it? Attitude

47:05

of like what's the point and keep you

47:07

know, what's the point in doing of trying of

47:10

trying to find a positive because there isn't

47:12

because all that's going to happen is we're going to just get

47:14

sick and die. And

47:18

you know, that was a really sad place to

47:20

live for a long time. And you know, through

47:23

honestly, like through an amazing therapist,

47:26

I got to the other

47:28

side of that. Maybe

47:30

that is the point? Well,

47:34

she would often say, what if the point is how

47:36

we affect each other, how we affect each

47:38

other's experiences, And that

47:40

really resonated with me of like, maybe

47:43

there isn't a large

47:45

point of at all. Maybe we're not all working toward this

47:47

big thing and we're here just to affect each other

47:49

every day, to have an interesting conversation

47:52

to make someone feel good or make them honestly feel

47:54

bad so that they could learn something. Yeah,

47:56

you know, I feel awful right now? Can you feel awful?

47:58

I'm so glad, see, but this was my point to make

48:01

you feel awful. What

48:04

about actually was saying that. I was like, I'm

48:06

in an awful play. But see, I don't care as much these

48:09

days, so I'd be like, oh, that's your journey, okay,

48:11

cool, No,

48:13

this has been lovely, that's

48:16

been good. I feel I feel that, you

48:19

know, not enough

48:21

public conversations sound

48:23

like the things you're saying, yeah,

48:26

which is weird because conversations

48:29

do you have like with a person

48:32

are often about this, Yeah, are

48:35

often about trying to figure out how

48:37

to move forward even when things

48:39

around us seem

48:41

impossible. Bleak. It's

48:44

hard, It's really hard. And I

48:46

think that there

48:48

seems to be a lot of sadness in the world these days.

48:51

But the truth is there always has been right and

48:54

does it seem especially bad right now?

48:58

It's hard to say. I mean, you know,

49:00

I wasn't alive during the Vietnam War. I feel

49:02

like that was probably a pretty rough time, you know,

49:05

And I think that I'm sure

49:07

it ebbs and flows a little bit. You

49:09

know, when you think about history, I think that,

49:11

um, I think the statement two

49:13

steps forward one step back is pretty

49:17

accurate. Probably personally,

49:20

I have a lot of you know, fears

49:23

and sadness about the current state of

49:26

things in this country. What we're talking about.

49:29

Things are wonderful, um,

49:32

you know, but I

49:34

I can't let go of hope that this is a

49:36

step back and hopefully we'll get well

49:38

soon we'll get to take two more steps forward. Yeah,

49:41

I hope, Please God, I hope.

49:43

I mean, or at least just like

49:46

slight steps forward to anything at this point, we

49:49

help take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. You

49:51

know. There's, um, you know, the

49:54

obvious thing to ask you about, and I don't

49:56

really care too, but I'm going to bring it up

49:58

lightly. Is uh you know, as

50:00

someone who is directing and

50:03

writing and and

50:06

you're a woman, those are still

50:09

You're an anomaly, right totally. You know, it's not

50:11

common. It's becoming

50:13

more common, but not nearly

50:16

quickly enough. What

50:18

have you made of the last

50:20

year and a half. That's more a larger

50:23

question of like it's crazy, Yeah, this is let's

50:25

just talk about this as like, people, what

50:27

do you make of all this? To me too?

50:30

Movement the hall, like it's so crazy

50:32

because we also live here. Yeah,

50:34

how do you feel about I'm trying to make sense of it

50:36

still, obviously as someone who

50:40

was trying to make this movie before this

50:42

started and was

50:45

very much an anomaly before you

50:49

know, getting the yes to say this, to making

50:51

this movie, and now, I

50:53

mean, in the past six months,

50:56

like being a female director, I suddenly I'm

50:58

like, well, I'm kind of cool right now there's

51:00

all of us female directors and maybe I'm not

51:02

so special anymore, which I don't mind. It's

51:04

awesome, but it's changing and

51:06

we're in the middle of this change.

51:09

I don't I don't know. I honestly, I'm still

51:11

sort of waiting to gain a perspective

51:14

on it. I'm excited. I'm excited that

51:16

women are being considered for big

51:19

projects, that are doing big projects, aren't just being considered

51:21

that are you know, making Wonder Woman

51:23

and are you know, doing huge

51:25

movies that women would have never really

51:28

had the opportunity to do before. Perhaps,

51:30

And I'm excited,

51:33

but I certainly felt it the

51:35

opposite and the sort of you

51:37

know, no one considered my movie

51:39

a few years ago because of because

51:42

of my gender. I was going to ask you, how were the meetings

51:45

like when you're a meeting to make this movie?

51:48

What were they like a couple of years ago, two three

51:50

years ago? Um? I mean meetings are

51:52

hard because people can say whatever they want in a meeting and

51:55

you know they'll never I don't think you can sit across

51:57

the room from someone and they're like, well, we'll never make

51:59

your movie. Yeah. No, one's honest like that.

52:02

It's always it's often a lot of false hope

52:04

or or you know, just a lot of blowing smoke, which

52:06

is the script is great, but we need great cast and

52:09

you know, if you bring us this movie star, we'll

52:11

make your movie. And it's like, well, I need

52:13

you to help me get the movie star, Like,

52:16

don't who, I can't get this person.

52:20

And so there was a lot of like it's

52:23

just a lot of talk, a lot of like we love your script.

52:26

No, no, we're not going to do it. Oh but

52:28

we love it. It's great, but we're gonna starry We're not doing

52:30

that. But honestly, even

52:32

just getting people to read it it was hard. And

52:34

now I feel like perhaps it would be

52:37

a this little tiny

52:39

bit easier, not much. I love

52:41

your script, We're not going to do it is like a mantra

52:43

here I mean just I

52:46

mean, I'm for a good time call. I mean Jesus.

52:48

We went on I think we went on over fifty

52:50

meetings with people who by the way,

52:52

this was we went on. It came out. I

52:55

think it was like four months before Bridesmaids

52:57

had come out, and was

53:00

when we did our tour I like to call it,

53:02

of meeting everyone who loved the script. It weren't going to make

53:04

it. The rejection to the rejection tour, and

53:08

I mean everyone's like our rate of female

53:10

comedies, it's not And I had seen early

53:12

screening Bridesmaids and

53:14

I was like, you don't know, there's this movie. It's

53:16

going to change everything, and like, no, no, women don't

53:18

talk like that. Like we had one woman

53:20

who was like, women aren't dirty, like that woman said

53:22

that to us, and we were like, oh my gosh,

53:26

I don't know, I don't know. I just remember she

53:28

were very bad khaki pants. And I

53:32

was just like, I can't believe that meeting we just had.

53:35

And you know, but

53:37

but it goes back to like just sort of

53:39

not, you know, trying really hard

53:41

to not get bogged down with that and believing

53:43

and keeping you

53:45

know, continuing to push. Yeah,

53:49

I guess is it better that a woman said that instead

53:51

of a man. Probably. I mean, at the time,

53:53

everyone was rejecting us, so I didn't it didn't

53:55

feel it didn't feel like one sex was

53:57

rejecting us more than the other because everyone was.

54:00

It was. Yeah.

54:02

I mean, honestly, I've been I've been fortunate

54:04

that I I haven't experienced

54:07

a lot of it directly, the

54:09

sexism, but in the sort of underlying

54:12

of you know, people

54:14

just like sending

54:16

the script to knowing that they never actually read

54:19

it right. That's painful. That

54:21

happened a lot. And now next

54:24

steps after this movie coming out at drops

54:27

August. Third third, Yeah, I

54:29

got it right, you got it right. That was impressive. Thank

54:31

you, Yeah, thank you. I

54:35

like how supportive you are of me in this whole

54:38

interview. I'm very supportive person. Has

54:41

that always been Joe? I

54:43

think so? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,

54:45

I think I'm I try to be very

54:48

much. Is

54:50

something I've been trying to change. But my parents are very

54:53

like do one to others kind

54:55

of attitude. Yeah, that's good.

54:58

Yeah, it's better to be supportive than not supportive.

55:00

Yeah, especially as a director. Right, So,

55:02

which is like the one job you have? Yeah,

55:05

it's to support everyone. Yeah, make them feel good about

55:07

what they're doing. So, now that you've done that with this

55:09

movie, what are next steps for

55:11

you? My next step actually

55:14

is hopefully to make the script.

55:16

That very first thing that I sold after quitting

55:18

my assistant job. That's

55:20

hopefully next up. That was like a decade ago.

55:22

It was a decade ago, it was, And

55:24

so that's sort of been around,

55:26

and I've rewritten it and rewritten it, rewritten it. It

55:28

It actually used to star men, now it stars women,

55:32

which is my own sexism. I think that.

55:35

Way back when I came up with this idea, I was like, of course,

55:37

it's just stared dudes. And

55:39

then three years ago I was like, what am I

55:41

doing? This movie wouldn't pass the Bechdel test. I

55:43

can't do that. Now that I've

55:45

talked to you for an hour. The

55:49

Kristen Bell character not

55:51

entirely dissimilar to you. Is

55:55

that off? I mean

55:57

she's focused and driven, That's what I

56:00

mean. Yeah, is

56:02

not what I'm talking about. Yeah, I think it

56:05

was really important. It was interesting. The

56:07

idea was pitched to me by andrew's

56:09

Bard, who's the producer, one of the producers of the movie,

56:12

and I was like, oh, I'd love it. I'm in. And

56:14

then I sat down to write it and

56:17

I was like, Oh, this is so much more difficult

56:19

than I thought it was, because

56:21

what I don't want to do is tell a story

56:23

about a woman who gets left to the altar and is just

56:26

looking for love. That is

56:28

not what I want, right, And I thought

56:30

that's what I wanted originally, and I started writing

56:32

it and I was like, you, yeah, gross,

56:35

And the

56:38

answer is another guy, which is

56:41

so sad like it shouldn't be, which

56:43

is like a thousand other movies exactly. And

56:45

so but I think in a way it's hard to

56:47

accept even just

56:50

you know, the response to the trailer. People have been

56:52

calling it a romantic comedy, right,

56:54

and it's not. Um,

56:57

it's a dramedy, and you

57:01

know, I don't want to give much away, but

57:03

the love that she finds is not romantic, you

57:06

know. And I think that's almost hard for people

57:08

to accept in a movie. Even if there

57:10

are per se romantic

57:13

aspects of the story, it is

57:15

not a romantic comedy. In the general sense.

57:18

And that's an interesting thing to see

57:20

how people have been sort of digesting

57:23

that. Yeah, I mean you shot it last summer, that's

57:26

thirteen years after college.

57:28

Yeah,

57:30

you know, they want have set

57:33

like how well what is your headspace? Like, I

57:36

mean, the week leading up to it, I was in

57:39

I was in a place of like, this is happening,

57:41

all right, I guess I guess this is happening.

57:43

Oh my god. It's just you know, it's like the

57:46

the train has left the station, you know, I mean, it's not stopping.

57:49

And like I went away the weekend before

57:51

just to like get out of New York and sort of like be in

57:53

the country and quiet and sort of go over

57:56

my shot list and sort of like go over everything.

57:59

And I just shle

58:01

weekend was like this happening happened.

58:03

And then it

58:06

was the first day. Couldn't first say or the second day.

58:08

But just like I was so lucky,

58:10

and I had an unbelievable

58:12

DP and a great a d

58:14

who was very supportive of me, and great

58:17

actors who did not bring their

58:19

egos with them and were

58:22

just willing to play and

58:25

be supportive and be kind and like

58:28

you know, and like our movie had a

58:31

fucking hurricane two weeks into shooting,

58:33

three weeks into shooting when we were supposed

58:36

to get on a cruise ship and we all hung

58:39

out in an Orlando at a Disney hotel

58:41

for six nights because we were derailed,

58:43

and like, you know, I feel

58:45

like I could have lost my ship during

58:47

that time, being like is this gonna happen? Are we gonna

58:49

get shut down? Because that was the question, are we gonna

58:51

get shut down? Like are we gonna get to finish making this movie?

58:54

And how did you not lose your ship?

58:57

I don't know. I was just talking to the producer about it the

58:59

other day. We were like reminiscing, and I was like, I don't

59:01

know how I kept my cool during that time. I

59:04

just I just did, because honestly,

59:07

it was kind of like when I got

59:09

to film school. It was like, Oh, this is me. This

59:11

feels right, And even

59:13

if we're sitting in Orlando for six nights

59:16

trapped in a hotel, it's

59:18

going to happen. It's got to happen. I

59:20

just maybe it was naive, but it did

59:23

right. So yeah,

59:26

that is impressive. I think a lot of people would

59:28

have gone mad

59:30

in that time. Yeah, I don't know. I,

59:34

like I said, I think I went through

59:36

so much over the past few years of like deep darkness

59:38

that like it didn't compare to

59:41

that. Yeah, I was thinking, you know,

59:44

what do you think it is inside

59:47

of you that allows you to

59:50

keep moving forward? Because you have this movie you

59:52

know that you've been wanting to make, and you've been wanting

59:55

to direct for probably even

59:57

more than thirteen years, and

1:00:00

you have, you know, your mother

1:00:02

who's very sick in a way

1:00:04

that I

1:00:07

think would push a lot of people

1:00:09

down, and you've had all these

1:00:11

things that you've seemed to work

1:00:14

through. What

1:00:16

do you think it is about you that has allowed

1:00:18

you to even do that time?

1:00:23

I think that time And honestly

1:00:25

I mentioned to so many times, but I have a

1:00:27

great therapist. I worked really hard at it.

1:00:30

I've I've I've really worked really

1:00:32

hard, like personally and emotionally

1:00:34

speaking. Um, you

1:00:37

know, I think I've I've

1:00:39

just through the work

1:00:42

and the therapy and the medication

1:00:45

and you know, just

1:00:48

and meditation and just

1:00:51

a lot of hard personal,

1:00:53

deep work of realizing

1:00:56

that I have been through

1:00:58

this and it was horrible, but

1:01:02

yet I'm surviving and

1:01:04

you know, and I'm getting through it. And

1:01:08

this is terrible, but I will get

1:01:10

through it because because time passes,

1:01:13

it just does, and I'll get through

1:01:15

it. And then it's also like, what's

1:01:18

the alternative? Exactly what is the

1:01:20

alternative? Like I don't want to take that

1:01:22

alternative? Like might as well just

1:01:24

keep pushing, you know, And it's and

1:01:26

don't get me wrong, like I will sit in

1:01:28

it sometimes, sit in that dark ship, but like

1:01:33

I've built a world

1:01:35

where I don't do that anymore.

1:01:37

And I have an amazing husband and an amazing

1:01:40

dog who makes me happy, and

1:01:42

friends who know my story at this point

1:01:45

who give me beautiful support and

1:01:48

hilarity for charity has given

1:01:51

me so much, so much hope

1:01:53

that with shit can also come

1:01:56

good stuff. Well, Lauren, thank

1:01:58

you for sharing your story on here. Thank you, thank

1:02:00

you for having me. This is good. I think we're good. We

1:02:02

cover a lot of ground. I feel like we covered a lot of ground.

1:02:05

You started with my ankle and my dog

1:02:08

and it ended up with us

1:02:11

getting into it. Yea. Well, thank you for listening,

1:02:14

Thanks for coming on special.

1:02:56

Thanks this week to Rochelle at Independent

1:02:59

la Without her, this episode

1:03:01

would not have happened. If you're

1:03:03

interested in Lauren's directorial debut.

1:03:06

It's called Like Father, and it comes

1:03:08

out on Netflix this Friday,

1:03:10

August three. To find out

1:03:13

more about Lauren and her new movie,

1:03:15

you can do so at our show notes at www

1:03:18

dot talk easypod dot com.

1:03:20

Also on the website is every episode

1:03:23

we have done of this show now one hundred

1:03:25

and three. If you have not checked

1:03:27

out our latest episodes with Alan Alda

1:03:30

and Rob Ryder and My

1:03:32

Father, you

1:03:35

can do so on the website. I think those

1:03:38

those turned out pretty well. I think people are liking those.

1:03:41

If you like what you're hearing and want to support the show,

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at talk easypod at gmail

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dot com. As always, our

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show is executive produced by David Chen,

1:04:08

Graphics by Ian Jones, illustrations

1:04:10

by Krishna Shani. Our new

1:04:13

associate producer is Elliott Weintraub,

1:04:16

and the show is produced by Dylan Peck. I'm

1:04:18

SANFORCOSO. Thank you for listening.

1:04:21

To talk easy. I'll see

1:04:23

you next week.