Natalia Volz uses her own experience to explain the process of grief, commonly due to death or divorce, and how to still successfully plan for college. Will you need to take a year or two off? Do you need to continue straight through into college? Ms. Volz has the information to help prepare you during the grieving process.

About Natalia

Volz’s husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She had children that were 11 and twins that were 13 at the time of his passing. “Life was turned upside. We don’t learn how to grieve or move through loss,” describes Volz.

It took 2 years for Volz to move through her grief and she became passionate about helping others.

“The death of a parent or spouse makes a huge impact on your life,” notes Volz, “There is no back to normal.”

Grief Facts

Volz discovered some interesting facts through her grieving process:

• There isn’t a timetable to get through grief.
  • Our culture gives people about 6 weeks.
  • The average recovery is 4-6 years.
• School is patient for a certain time.
  • They expect children to bounce back quickly.
• Children grieve in 3 ways.
  • Strive for perfection.
  • Hide or become very shy/quiet.
  • Acting out.
    • This is actually the healthiest way.

Be sure to talk to the school, even if it has been multiple years after the event.

Volz defines, “Grief is the normal and natural response to a loss, or significant change, in our life.”

Applying to College While Grieving

“If you are a parent that is dealing with the loss of a spouse through death or divorce, you need to take care of yourself first,” recommends Volz.

Be sure to advocate for your children. Volz strongly suggests talking to the schools you are applying to, even if it has been a few years.

Something often impacted is finances. Be sure colleges are made aware and they will usually work with you.

“The part of your brain where you can critically think and plan ahead is not operating when you are deep in grief,” explains Volz. You have to recover from your grief first.

Healing from grief requires certain tools. Volz gives these tips:

• Don’t judge yourself.
  • Volz’s website has great resources to help you start to move the grief.
• Grief is not intellectual.
  • It moves through your heart/emotions and you can’t just read a book.
• You can’t grieve alone.
  • You need to be with others and not left alone.
    • Parents must recover from their own grief before helping their children.
    • As you recover, you will be better able to plan.

Parents need to get the proper information about how to heal from grief in order to help their children. If you are choosing a therapist, ask lots of questions and be sure the person will fit your needs.

How to Know If Your Child is Ready for College

“Each situation is unique and each person is an individual,” notes Volz.

Have an honest talk and build your relationship with your child to see if they are ready. Share your financial situation. Talk about if college is something they want, what can they do in high school to help set them up for success.

Volz stresses, “It is important to have open communication and telling them what you are able to do for them and what you are not.”

Look at all your options and don’t judge yourself at where you are in the grieving process. “Friends and extended family are so crucial in both our children healing their grief and our self,” emphasizes Volz, “Turn to friends and others!”

If you have a friend that is going through the grieving process, make sure to reach out to them and offer help. You can do something as simple as filling out financial aid paperwork or visiting colleges.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

• http://www.passingthroughgrief.com
  • Can contact via this website for more one on one help.
• Facebook page: Passing Through Grief
• http://www.griefrecoverymethod.com

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Brad is not affiliated with Passing Through Grief or the Grief Recovery Institute.

The post THCC70 – Impact of Grief on Planning for College Interview with Natalia Volz, Founder of www.PassingThroughGrief.com appeared first on Taming The High Cost of College.