0:01

Ted Audio Collective.

0:06

Not sure if you know, but I lived in Massachusetts

0:09

for seventeen years, mostly

0:12

in Cambridge and Boston. And one

0:14

thing about these cities, there's cobblestone

0:17

everywhere. Cabblestone

0:19

streets, cobblestone alleyways, cobblestone

0:21

sidewalks, and it was beautiful,

0:24

but it also meant I spent a lot of

0:26

money pairing broken heels or

0:29

just pulling my heel out

0:31

of the little crevice between the cobblestones or

0:33

bricks. If you've ever walked

0:35

down a cobblestone street in a pair of heels,

0:38

you know what I mean. It's so

0:40

annoying. I recently

0:42

read the memoir of Indronui, the

0:44

former CEO of PepsiCo. And

0:47

she mentioned that many women ran into

0:49

similar and even worse problems injuries

0:52

from walking the cobblestone pathways on

0:54

their campus. She talked about

0:56

how for years, women were expected

0:58

to have heels as part of their professional wardrobe.

1:01

And they would get those heels caught in the

1:03

gaps between the stones like I did

1:06

or even have to walk on tip toes

1:08

between buildings to avoid getting

1:10

their shoes stuck. Today,

1:13

women aren't expected to wear heels to work

1:15

as much but cobblestones can

1:17

still be a pain for those who choose to

1:19

wear them. So you know one thing she did

1:22

as CEO? She got rid of

1:24

those cobblestones and replaced the pathway

1:26

with a smooth, heal friendly

1:28

pavement. For ENDRA,

1:31

This was important not only because it saved

1:33

her colleagues money on shoe repair,

1:35

but because it sent a bigger message to the

1:38

women of PepsiCo. That they

1:40

belonged. It's

1:42

one thing to tell women and other underrepresented

1:45

groups that they're valued in your workplace.

1:48

But it's another thing altogether to

1:50

show them how much their experiences matter.

1:54

So how can we make our organizations more

1:56

inclusive place is for all.

2:03

I'm Madhu Bakkenola. This is

2:05

Ted Business. Our speaker today

2:07

is Lily Singh. She's a comedian,

2:09

writer, and late night host. In all

2:12

her life, she thought what she wanted

2:14

was a seat at the table. But when

2:16

she finally got it, she saw just

2:18

how difficult it would be to find success

2:20

at a table that wasn't built for

2:22

her. In this talk,

2:25

Lilly shares why having a seat isn't enough

2:27

and outlines how we can make the table more

2:29

inclusive for everybody. Then

2:32

after the talk, I'll share a few more

2:34

examples of things we can do to make

2:36

our workplaces more

2:37

inclusive. But first, a

2:39

quick break.

2:47

So when I was born, on September twenty

2:49

six, nineteen eighty eight, My grandparents

2:51

and great grandparents back in India didn't

2:54

find out for two weeks. And it's

2:56

not because the phone lines were down

2:58

or because they weren't available. It's because

3:00

there was a complication with my birth.

3:03

And that complication was being

3:05

assigned female at birth. You

3:08

see, because my mom had been told that if she

3:10

gave birth to a daughter, it wasn't

3:12

worth phoning home about. After all,

3:14

she'd already given birth to my older sister,

3:16

and this time everyone had high hopes that she

3:18

would do right and have a son.

3:21

But she didn't. She had me.

3:25

And so there were no congratulations or

3:27

Indian sweets sent our way. Just

3:30

the reality that from the moment I came

3:32

into this world, I was already

3:34

a disappointment to so many people. It's

3:37

as if they had a time machine and already knew the

3:39

trajectory of my entire career and life

3:41

and decided that I had less to offer.

3:45

And it sucked. So

3:47

why am I telling you this heavy story? After all,

3:49

supposed to be a funny person, I have been nerfed come

3:51

out here and hit you right in the fields. How dare I?

3:55

Tell you this because although this is my lived

3:57

experience, It's also the reality

3:59

that millions of girls face every day

4:02

across every culture and in every

4:04

country. And I'm telling you this

4:06

because being born into this reality set

4:09

me on a lifetime mission of

4:11

trying to prove myself and just

4:13

feel like was enough. What

4:15

did I want to be? When I grow up?

4:18

I wanted to be treated equally. And

4:21

I'm not alone in this mission. In

4:23

fact, us girls, what we desperately

4:26

want is a seat at the table.

4:28

It's what every motivational poster,

4:30

Tumblr post, Instagram account to

4:32

follow business model tells us success

4:34

is a seat at the table. You

4:36

know? And if they wanna be extra spicy, they

4:39

say if there is no seat drag your own

4:41

seat. I'm sure you've heard this. Alright.

4:43

And so my marching orders were clear. Get

4:46

a seat at this coveted table

4:48

by any means necessary. And

4:50

that's been the driving force behind

4:52

my entire career. Now

4:55

in two thousand ten, I noticed that

4:57

no one on YouTube looked like me. You

4:59

know, there was no South Asian woman who's

5:01

very loud and uses her hands a lot. Giving

5:04

her take on the world. There was no me

5:06

in front of a camera. I

5:08

saw a seat up for grabs. So

5:10

I've got to work and I started a channel

5:12

under the name superwoman. Yeah.

5:15

Because although I'm smart enough to do a

5:17

TED talk, I'm not smart enough to understand

5:19

copyright, I

5:24

taught myself how to write, shoot,

5:27

and edit my own content. And

5:29

I worked really hard. When

5:31

I finally got the hang of it, I committed to posting

5:34

two comedy videos a week. And I found

5:36

success. With a backward snapback

5:38

on my head, I gave my take on relationships,

5:41

pop culture, tab and subjects, and

5:43

most popularly, dressed up

5:45

like my parents. Now,

5:49

fast forward to twenty fifteen and I'm

5:52

on stage in India announcing my

5:54

first world's tour. As

5:56

fate would have it the day after this monumental

5:59

milestone, I was set to

6:01

fly up in job India This isn't

6:03

my grandfather for the first time

6:05

in my adult life. And,

6:07

whoa, nothing could have prepared

6:09

me. Or what was about to happen? I

6:12

vividly remember it. I was in the

6:14

car driving to his house. He was standing outside.

6:17

I nervously got out of the car.

6:19

Walked up to him. You walked up to me. He looked me right

6:21

in the eyes and you raised

6:24

his hand and

6:26

decorated me with a flower garland. Adjust

6:29

your fit for people of importance. He

6:32

then proceeded to welcome me into his home

6:34

my mom by my side and proceeded

6:36

to show me all the newspaper clippings he had

6:38

saved with my name and face on them.

6:41

He said the words he

6:43

was wrong. Words

6:45

I had never heard a man say before

6:47

to me. He said that I had done

6:50

what no one else could have done and I'd name

6:52

made the family name proud. Me,

6:55

Lily, the baby born a girl.

6:58

That's right. Now in

7:00

that moment, I truly felt

7:02

like superwoman. I did. You know, through

7:04

my YouTube videos, I've amassed almost

7:07

fifteen million subscribers and

7:09

three billion views. But more

7:11

important than all of that, I

7:13

managed to change one view. I

7:16

challenged my grandfather's entrenched gender

7:19

beliefs. And for the first time in

7:21

my life, I remember thinking in that moment, I

7:24

finally got a seat at the table, hello

7:26

props. Alongside

7:29

the men in the industry, I

7:31

felt like that and encouraged

7:34

by my grandpa's approval, I became more

7:36

confident in my influence. I remember

7:38

thinking, oh, I'm gonna talk at this table. I'm gonna join

7:40

the dinner conversation. You know,

7:43

a lot of my male mentors make

7:45

comments and posts about box office

7:47

numbers and salaries and titles

7:49

and those dollar dollar bills. So I

7:51

thought a chime

7:53

in here. I

7:55

learned very quickly that whenever

7:57

I spoke of money, people got

7:59

a little uncomfortable. Like

8:02

the time I pointed out, the gender gap

8:04

and the Forbes list for online creators,

8:07

a list I'd previously been on. I

8:09

remember wanting to start a critical conversation

8:11

because I saw this article and I was heartbroken.

8:14

You know, the digital space had always been a

8:16

place that I thought was without gatekeepers. And

8:18

here it was looking just like old Hollywood.

8:22

But let me tell you, the Internet was

8:24

not interested. I

8:26

don't know how it's possible, but it literally

8:29

felt as if Twitter leaked through my screen

8:31

and body slammed me onto

8:33

my desk. And the message was

8:35

cleared. You can be on this

8:37

list, but don't try to start any

8:39

conversations about the inequality on

8:42

this list. I have

8:44

thousands and thousands of videos. One

8:46

of my most disliked videos is

8:49

why I'm not in a relationship.

8:52

Yeah. A lot of the men at the table

8:54

did not like me telling them why I didn't

8:56

need a boyfriend. I

8:58

quickly learned that there's an invisible

9:01

gatekeeper called culture. And

9:03

the table is smack dab in the middle

9:05

of it. Now,

9:09

in two thousand nineteen, I

9:11

made history with my late night show,

9:13

a little late with Lilly Singh. Thank

9:16

you. Thank you. Where

9:20

I was? Lilly, the baby born a

9:22

brown girl, rubbing elbows or at least times

9:24

lots with comedy royalty. And I

9:26

gotta give a huge shout out to NBC. For

9:28

boldly trying to break late night tradition.

9:31

I remember when this show came out. I remember all

9:33

the articles because it looks practically identical.

9:37

Bisexual woman of color gets late

9:39

night show. I

9:42

almost legally changed my name to bisexual

9:44

woman of color. Because that's

9:46

what people called me so often. And

9:48

you know, as strange as that sentiment

9:50

was, I thought, okay, The silver

9:53

lining is that we'll finally get a different

9:55

perspective in late night. Now little bit

9:57

of melanin, a dash, a queer, a different

9:59

take on things. Let's do this. And

10:02

I remember thinking now, oh, now,

10:05

I've been invited to the big table.

10:08

And now, things will be different.

10:10

So I took my seat.

10:14

Now, unfortunately, the budget

10:16

wasn't based on the importance or

10:18

significance or historic nature of the show.

10:21

It was based on the one thirty AM time slot

10:23

that we had. So to say

10:25

the budget was small, the writing

10:27

staff even smaller, And to do

10:29

the first season, I had to shoot ninety

10:31

six episodes of late night television

10:33

in three months. Now

10:36

who was right? To put that

10:38

into perspective, that is shooting

10:40

two to three episodes a day versus

10:43

the network standard of one a day,

10:45

maybe two on Thursday. We

10:47

did all with a writing staff of about

10:50

half a dozen writers versus

10:52

the network standard. That's about double

10:54

that. Words

10:57

cannot explain to you how exhausting,

11:00

emotionally, and spiritually challenging

11:02

that was. And I start

11:04

to feel like, think this chair

11:06

is a little wobbly. Now,

11:08

I think we can all agree that the beauty and

11:10

magic of late night is its timeliness.

11:13

You know that no matter what's happening in the world,

11:16

you can turn on late night television and hear

11:18

all about it. When you shoot

11:20

ninety six episodes in three months,

11:23

It kind of lose that magic. I

11:26

was the only show talking

11:28

about hooking up, partying,

11:31

cuddling, traveling in front of a live audience

11:33

during a literal global pandemic.

11:37

Still, I thought If the budget

11:39

doesn't celebrate the historicness of the show,

11:42

then the creative can. Now I can bring some

11:44

much needed spice to late night.

11:46

And sometimes I was successful. But

11:49

other times, I would receive notes

11:51

like, don't be so loud.

11:54

Don't be so big. Don't be so angry.

11:56

Smile more. And my all time

11:58

favorite, don't over

12:00

index on the South Asian stuff. After

12:04

all, everyone else at the table who's been sitting

12:07

there for years, you know, people are used

12:09

to them. I might be a little jarring

12:11

to audiences. Now

12:13

during season two of my show, I remember

12:16

I went into overdrive. And I found all

12:18

the loopholes, I did all the necessary jobs

12:21

to try to make the show more timely. And

12:23

I and I was excited to and I felt

12:25

compelled to because for the first

12:27

time in history, we had a woman not to

12:29

mention half South Asian woman become

12:32

vice president of the United States. Now,

12:34

we witnessed one of the greatest protests

12:36

in human history with the farmer protest

12:39

in India. And was excited to finally

12:41

give my take on these things. But

12:44

my take was almost never included

12:47

in topical media news coverage

12:49

roundups. You know, we still got the same

12:51

voices the same perspectives even

12:54

though someone and something different was literally

12:56

in the next time slot. I

12:59

kept trying to pull up my suit. Now, I kept trying

13:02

to join the dinner conversation. I kept trying

13:04

to ask for a more supportive seat. But

13:06

every time I would be told that I should

13:08

be grateful to have a seat in the

13:11

first place. After all, everyone

13:13

else that looks like me is still waiting

13:15

outside the restaurant in the cold. You

13:17

know, the strange thing about having a Wobbly

13:20

seat is that you spend so much time

13:22

trying to keep it upright that

13:24

you can never bring your full self to the table.

13:28

So now, why

13:30

am I telling you all this? Well,

13:33

because my therapist calls two hundred dollars an hour

13:35

and this is way cheaper. But

13:38

also because I just experienced

13:41

one of the most notorious boys clubs

13:43

ever in late night television. And

13:46

I'm here to offer solutions. I

13:49

don't always follow-up a venting session with

13:51

solutions, but when I do, it's a TED Talk.

13:55

That's right. You

14:00

see, my goal was always a

14:02

seat at the table. It's what women

14:04

are conditioned to believe success

14:06

is. And when the chair

14:09

doesn't fit, When it doesn't reach the table,

14:11

when it's wobbly, when it's full of splintures, we

14:13

don't have the luxury of fixing it

14:15

or finding another one, but we

14:18

try anyways. We

14:20

take on that responsibility and we shoulder

14:22

that burden. Now,

14:24

I've been fortunate enough to sit at a few

14:26

seats at a few different tables. And

14:28

what I've learned is when you get the

14:31

seat, trying to fix the seat

14:33

won't fix the problem. Why?

14:36

Because the table was never built for us in

14:38

the first place. The solution,

14:41

build better tables. So

14:48

allow me to be your very own IKEA

14:51

manual. I would like to

14:53

present to you a set of guidelines. I very eloquently

14:55

call how to build

14:57

a table that doesn't suck. I've

15:00

been told I'm very literal. Now,

15:03

right off the bat, let me tell you, this assembly is

15:05

gonna take more than one person or

15:07

group of people, it's gonna take

15:09

everyone. Are you ready? Should be diving?

15:12

Let's do it. Up first,

15:15

don't weaponize gratitude. Now,

15:18

don't get me wrong. Ratitude is a great

15:20

word. It's nice. It's fluffy,

15:22

a solid eleven points in scrabble. However,

15:26

let's be clear. Although gratitude feels

15:28

warm and fuzzy, it's not a

15:30

form of currency. Women

15:32

are signed ten percent more work,

15:35

and spend more time on unawarded, unrecognized,

15:38

and nonpromoted tasks. Basically,

15:40

what this means is all the things men don't want

15:42

to do are being handed to women.

15:44

And a lot of those things largely include

15:47

things that advance inclusivity, equity,

15:49

and diversity in the workplace. So

15:52

hear me when I say, a woman

15:54

should be grateful to sit at a table.

15:56

She should be paid to sit at

15:59

a table. Especially

16:03

once she largely helped

16:06

build and a woman say she shouldn't be

16:08

threatened if she doesn't seem grateful enough.

16:11

In other words, corporations, this

16:13

step involves a woman doing

16:15

a job. And being paid in money,

16:18

opportunity, and promotion, not

16:20

just gratitude. And

16:23

women. Now go ahead. Live it up. Dude,

16:25

live it life. And

16:28

women, a moment of real talk. Trust

16:30

me, I've been there and I know it is so

16:32

tough, but we have to understand

16:35

and remember. That being grateful

16:37

and being treated fairly are not

16:40

mutually exclusive. I can be grateful

16:42

but still know exactly what I deserve.

16:45

And that's the way to do it. Up

16:50

next, invest in

16:52

potential. When investing

16:54

in women, don't invest in the one

16:56

thirty AM time slot. Invest

16:59

in empowering something different. Invest

17:01

in a new voice, given the support they actually

17:04

need. Cultural change takes

17:06

time. And money, heck it took my

17:08

grandfather twenty five years. To

17:10

see that I was worthy of born. So

17:13

a true investment is one that values

17:15

potential over proof.

17:17

Because so often that proof doesn't exist

17:19

for women. Not because we aren't qualified, but

17:22

because we haven't been given the opportunity. In

17:25

other words, if you're trying to be inclusive,

17:29

don't give someone new a seat made of straw

17:31

until they prove they deserve a better one.

17:34

Don't hold again something called a proven again

17:36

bias, which requires less privileged

17:38

people to constantly keep proving themselves

17:41

even though white men tend to get by on

17:43

just their potential. So give

17:45

them a seat that they can thrive in,

17:47

that they can do the job you hired them to

17:49

do in, allow them to contribute to

17:51

the table and they will make it better.

17:56

Up next, this is my favorite one. My

17:58

favorite one. It's quite common sense actually.

18:01

Make space for us. Now,

18:03

for every three men at a table,

18:05

There's only one place setting

18:08

for a woman. People are so

18:10

used to more men showing up that they planned for

18:12

it. There's an extra seat in the corner.

18:14

There's a stake under the heat lamp. When more

18:16

men show up, the table gets longer.

18:19

But when that extra RSVP is

18:21

a woman, more often

18:24

than not, she's encouraged to compete

18:26

against the only other woman that was invited

18:28

to the table. Instead,

18:32

we need to build multiple seats for

18:35

multiple women, not just one or

18:37

two. So that women are not sitting on top

18:39

of each other's lapsed fighting for one meal.

18:42

We already know that more diverse

18:44

teams perform better. A

18:46

recent study shows that corporations that

18:48

have more gender diversity under executive

18:51

teams were twenty five percent more

18:53

likely to experience above average profitability.

18:56

And more racially diverse companies had

18:58

thirty six percent more profit. So really no

19:00

matter how you look at it, it's time to build

19:02

longer tables and more seats. And

19:06

I I wanna say something and I wanna

19:08

admit something, I wanna be vulnerable for a second because

19:11

I fall in victim to this so many times. And women

19:13

let me know if you've experienced this. We

19:16

have to get rid of the scarcity mindset and

19:18

champion each other. Now because

19:21

I've learned what's the better win. Me

19:24

sitting at a table or us sitting

19:26

at a table. Don't be convinced

19:28

to fight for one spot. Instead,

19:31

fight for multiple spots. And

19:39

Last, it's time to

19:41

upgrade the table talk. Now

19:43

I believe stories make the world

19:46

go around. You thought it had

19:48

something to do with the solar system, jokes on you with

19:50

stories. Stories

19:52

are how we understand ourselves. How

19:54

we understand others and how we understand

19:57

the world. And arguably the

19:59

most important stories are those we

20:01

see in the media. Because we've seen

20:03

time and time that they control the narrative

20:05

and impact culture. Now

20:08

when it comes to genre, you can argue

20:10

that certain genres have certain target

20:12

demographics. When it comes to the

20:14

world news, the target demographic

20:16

is the world, and we know

20:18

half of the world is female. Yet,

20:21

women and girls make up only a quarter of

20:23

the people interviewed or that the news is

20:26

even about in the first place. Instead,

20:29

when it comes to issues that impact women,

20:31

we not only need to be included in the coverage,

20:33

we need to be driving those stories and dimensionalizing

20:36

our own experience. Inviting everyone

20:39

in on the table top isn't just a nice

20:41

gesture. It makes her better, more

20:43

productive, smarter conversation with

20:45

more than one point of view. And that's

20:47

you get better. So

20:51

this all sounds like a lot of work.

20:54

And it is. But I'm gonna

20:56

tell you why it's necessary and

20:58

worth it. To be honest, this

21:00

is about so much more than just

21:02

women in the workplace. Now in fact, I could probably

21:04

come up with many more guidelines across many

21:07

other industries. This is

21:09

about creating a world where

21:11

half of population can thrive.

21:14

You see because the work we do today can

21:16

create a world where future generations

21:18

of girls can have equitable access

21:20

and opportunity. And here's the best part.

21:23

Are you ready for everyone listening today?

21:25

All the men, the women, everyone in between,

21:27

the big companies, the small ones, the media outlets,

21:29

all of you, You can help create

21:31

the future, a future

21:34

where we have longer tables and more

21:36

seats that actually work. Instead

21:39

of fighting for a seat at the old ones that

21:41

don't. A future where

21:43

everyone is seated at the table equally.

21:47

And a future where being assigned

21:50

female at birth is not a

21:52

disappointment or disadvantage because

21:55

girls are encouraged empowered

21:58

and expected to do great

22:00

things. And I can't wait

22:02

to make that a reality. Thank

22:04

you so much.

22:19

Lily's call to action is pretty clear.

22:22

We all need to take an active role

22:24

in building a sturdier and more inclusive

22:26

table. Just like India with

22:28

the cobblestone walkway at PepsiCo, If

22:31

we all just looked around, we

22:33

might notice the ways our workplaces aren't

22:35

designed with everybody in mind.

22:38

One example, the closed captioning

22:41

feature on video conferencing platforms

22:44

like Zoom or Google Meet. I

22:46

remember in the earlier days of the pandemic,

22:49

Zoom didn't even have a closed captioning

22:51

feature, which meant that non native English

22:53

speakers or folks who had hearing impairments

22:56

often had a more difficult time keeping

22:58

up. Especially if the WiFi

23:00

was bad. I was really

23:02

pleased when Columbia Business School and other organizations

23:06

decided that they would include captioners to

23:08

facilitate this process. They

23:10

looked around, saw a need, and

23:12

addressed it. And my guess

23:14

is since so many organizations did

23:16

this, these platforms like Zoom

23:18

were responsive, creating these captioning

23:21

features within the technology. Or

23:24

another thing that comes to mind, the temperature

23:26

in office buildings. I remember

23:29

reading an article a couple of years ago.

23:31

About how most office buildings set their temperatures

23:33

based on what's comfortable for men.

23:36

As a petite woman, I'm always

23:38

cold at work. I keep a heater under

23:40

my desk and a scarf nearby at all times.

23:43

If you feel this regularly and know

23:45

your colleagues do too, Why not

23:47

talk to those in charge to see if they can

23:49

adjust the temperature to make it more comfortable

23:51

for everyone? And if they

23:54

can't, Given how fancy

23:56

the HVAC systems are these days,

23:58

maybe together, you can brainstorm ways

24:01

to address this issue. So let's

24:03

take a few moments to really think about

24:05

what others around us need to feel welcome

24:07

at the table I'm describing. One

24:10

thing I just realized is that

24:12

people might need us to know the difference

24:15

between closed captioning and subtitles.

24:18

Because I didn't know before working on this

24:20

episode. Subtitles assumed

24:22

a viewer hears the audio, so there

24:24

are no additional cues of context.

24:27

Close captions do include

24:29

context cues like water

24:31

running or music playing

24:34

or laughter. Which allows

24:36

those who have hearing impairments to truly

24:38

experience what's happening in the video. Learning

24:40

this little fact help me have

24:43

a newfound appreciation for some of the challenges

24:45

associated with being deaf or hard of

24:47

hearing. So now, rather

24:49

than looking at those captions every now and then and

24:51

being like, why the heck are they including this information?

24:54

I get it. I finally

24:56

get it. And I'll make

24:59

sure that closed captioning is available

25:01

for the lectures and meetings I facilitate

25:04

from now on. That's

25:07

it for today. This episode was

25:09

produced by transmitter media with help

25:11

from Jordan Bailey and fact checked by

25:13

Matthias Salas. Special thanks,

25:16

to Anna Filan, Michelle Quint, Corey

25:18

Hay Jim, and Colin Hall. I'm

25:20

Madhu Bacanola. Talk to you again

25:22

next week.