0:06

I'll get a monogrammed. double dip on this.

0:40

Tell

0:50

him, Steve, Dave, hello and welcome to this.

0:52

Week's the last edition of tell him Steve Dave being broadcast from 35 broad street.

0:59

That is boys.

1:00

It's the end of an era.

1:03

I was going to say they, they throw that phrase around loosey goosey.

1:06

I feel at the end of an era, you always hear that, you know, regarding anything, is it apropos here?

1:12

Is it appropriate to say it's an end of an era?

1:15

I think so. I mean, it might be, you know, maybe a less regarded era than say human history looks at areas, but personally it's huge.

1:26

I w I was gonna say, I would think it would, it meets the standard for a decade.

1:29

It raises up to the level of end of an era.

1:33

There's the Roman era, The

1:40

Mongolian, those areas Will,

1:45

will it be any different you think once we, we have to settle into new digs, our own little spot.

1:50

Oh yeah. I don't think there's any doubt.

1:53

It's going to be different, more comfortable that I don't know.

1:57

I clicked out If

2:02

I'm going to be honest. I really doubt it. I can tell already it's uncomfortable.

2:04

Oh yeah.

2:05

Discomforts

2:05

or

2:05

new

2:05

discomforts,

2:05

a

2:05

little,

2:05

a

2:05

little

2:05

of

2:05

some

2:05

oldest

2:05

comfort

2:13

sense. Some new ones, some really new ones. Unexpected

2:15

ones that I'm just like, wow.

2:16

I didn't think that was going to happen.

2:18

The closing of the stories Deal

2:20

to you then this to me and Brian, right?

2:24

Yeah. I would think It

2:26

would be a bit more significant to me because, you know, I spent 20 years here.

2:32

You know, this was definitely without a doubt, the place I spent most of my time at, other than my home, I would eat.

2:40

If you could make the argument that, you know, it was probably equal when you, when you, if you take out sleep.

2:47

Yeah. So I spent a lot of time between these walls and it's definitely weird to, to think that, you know, I came in here today and Mike and get him was like, you, we need your keys.

3:01

They want your keys, you know? Yeah.

3:02

It's just weird. I had to turn my keys over.

3:06

No. Well, there's new place. Have a bathroom designed for employees that a nice bathroom.

3:12

And I seen not like, not a taco bell, taco surf taco, rather There

3:17

is a bathroom at the new stash, but, but no, one's getting that fucking key.

3:23

That other bathroom that I have, that, that Mike secured, no one would know.

3:26

Can't give it back then.

3:27

Fuck

3:29

it. From my cold, dead fucking hand.

3:31

Like fucking Heston Back

3:34

here. Just to use it, just to walk down the street.

3:36

Whenever I need to use the bathroom, I'm going to use that bathroom.

3:38

That's where you're gonna go. Oh fuck. You totally crushed the parking lot.

3:41

Why was it the bathroom there? It's not as nice as the one that's over here.

3:45

I don't think I don't see.

3:47

And I don't see, to be honest with you, I don't see Mike or get him or anybody actually cleaning that bathroom on the, on the regular basis that they have a cleaning lady at this one over here.

3:57

Right? You didn't include yourself in that.

3:59

I feel like you don't see yourself cleaning it either.

4:01

You

4:01

know

4:03

what? Those lazy motherfuckers are not going to clean.

4:06

It. There's more to it than that.

4:08

But like, you know, for going forward in a new store, those guys are going to be more self-motivated.

4:13

So I don't see them getting the fucking toilet scrub brush out and making sure there's a deep down clean.

4:23

And Why

4:26

do you think you're not good at scrubbing toilets?

4:29

Let

4:29

me

4:29

shout

4:29

across

4:29

the

4:29

fucking

4:29

room

4:29

with

4:29

nothing

4:29

in

4:29

it

4:39

In summer camp, I would train that drop off every time I got it bathroom with train duty.

4:44

Yeah, I would. I hated it. It was fine.

4:46

Well, who did you trade with? Like, who was like, okay, I'll trade with you.

4:48

What was the job? There was another job called runner, which was when they sounded runners call.

4:52

You ran to the, to the dining hall and you set up the tables and then during dinner and during all the meals you got up and got food for everybody.

5:01

So that's everybody else hated that job.

5:04

I loved it. So I'd

5:06

rather do that than the toilets too.

5:08

So every time he came to my job do bathroom, I would trade it off to somebody else.

5:12

So I just no experience.

5:15

I just get the feeling and, and if I got that key, why not use it right?

5:18

Why stop using it? It's a small two second walk over to a nice clean bathroom that smells like heaven.

5:26

I'm I can get them. Don't have that key, right? Oh, they have it.

5:28

Or they have a key too. They could use it too, but I mean, I'm a, get them, use a porta John.

5:33

So that one's fine, right?

5:35

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's going to be, it's going to be different, but yeah, this is a very strange experience when you've seen all those TV shows the last episode of a television show it, they, you know, how are they going to end it?

5:48

You know, there was Seinfeld, people felt it was fun.

5:51

Fulfilling it and ending. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, this isn't really ending.

5:54

It's moving down a block.

5:56

It's Kind of, I mean, yeah.

5:58

I, people keep saying that, but I, yeah, I, I can't get over the feeling that it feels like it's an ending now, but just can't shake it.

6:06

Well, you're too old, I think, to get excited about like the future of the store, right?

6:12

I mean, like moving is more of a pain in the ass.

6:16

It wasn't anything else. It

6:18

was moving 20 years of, of garbage.

6:20

Right?

6:22

Come on down to the stash.

6:25

It's terrible. It's a lot of stuff that basement was full of stuff that like, like hoarders would be like, Oh, you got a problem, bro.

6:35

Something going on here, did he toss a lot?

6:39

Or everything made its way over.

6:41

No, not everything made its way over. There was quite a bit that made its way into a dumpster.

6:45

Sure. Yeah. Gems that you were like, Whoa, I can't believe we have this.

6:50

I mean, if it was a gem, It

6:52

would have been on the dumpster. Yeah. No, I didn't mean the dumpster.

6:56

We found some compliments.

6:57

know the, the very valuable compliment pops.

7:01

We found a, a set of three.

7:03

Not a complete set who you're missing.

7:05

I believe Ming was missing.

7:07

Yeah. Ming was being stolen. Oh yeah.

7:08

What's

7:08

not

7:08

missing

7:08

is

7:08

more

7:08

of

7:08

the

7:15

word. Yeah.

7:15

You think about, Well,

7:18

I was talking to Q about this. Like obviously I don't have any attachment to it as a store, but like comic book men for, you know, seven years we did it here.

7:27

So that was more my attachment. Even more than tell him Steve, Dave, I feel, which is weird because we have done a lot of stuff here.

7:33

You know, like every single video we've done, the white castle hamburger, eating contest, men getting hypnotized, the fucking fraudulent.

7:42

It's endless. That's why it's like, it's hard to shake that, like that melancholy morose.

7:49

Is that the right word?

7:51

I mean, if you're feeling that a little low, Properly

7:55

used though, or melancholy is good.

7:57

Yeah, yeah, Yeah. It's a, yeah.

7:58

I mean, it's, it's true.

8:01

I mean, I'm going to say it again. It's an end of an era Until

8:04

someone stops me.

8:06

Try it tonight.

8:10

I mean, how many episodes of tell him, Steve, Dave, at least 99% of them.

8:13

I would think we're here. I mean, a very few were recorded outside the stash.

8:18

There were a couple.

8:20

Yeah. Like one at a diner.

8:21

Maybe a couple here and there.

8:23

Maybe some at a shared universe. Yeah.

8:25

This is a table going to make its way over there.

8:27

I just wanna want to ask you.

8:29

I hope not. No, no, you guys don't want it.

8:31

Oh, I like it. I would, let's put it to a vote.

8:34

We already voted.

8:39

I was going to break it over. I felt like, you know, like it would be the, it would be nice to bring this over, you know, but maybe that's just me, you know, being, feeling like again, melancholy.

8:50

Yeah. I mean, I look at like Mike and Ming's table over at shared universe and I'm no, that looks professional.

8:55

That looks nice.

8:57

Has fucking crumbs and shit all over it all the time.

9:00

Like every time we come down here, it looks pretty crappy.

9:03

It's all torn apart, Taping

9:05

everything. Know

9:08

what you're doing. I could see the look on his face.

9:10

No,

9:10

I,

9:10

I

9:10

would

9:10

assume

9:10

we

9:10

were

9:10

just

9:10

bringing

9:10

this

9:10

right

9:10

over

9:10

the

9:10

felt

9:17

Because it has like soaked up so many laughs It's

9:20

worth the money.

9:21

It's worth the money.

9:23

Cut it apart and buy a new socket table.

9:26

Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, how much of laughs have like our are like, if you squeeze this out, like, Oh, you squeeze out all the laughs out of this felt.

9:34

Yeah, that's true. All right. Let's keep it.

9:37

I thought about it. That way We

9:39

could vacuum it.

9:40

We don't have to keep them in a little This

9:44

kind of stuff like hanging down and like, it hurts sometimes When,

9:48

when pressure, wrist against it.

9:49

How about this?

9:53

Yeah. I said he won't clean the bathrooms, but can we get a Dustbuster and maybe once or twice a month hit the, hit the felt on the table.

9:59

Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm in, I'm in And

10:02

I'll cut off some of the jacket tape.

10:04

We'll rehab. Yeah. A little rehab.

10:06

Cause I do like looking at people Because

10:08

I'm like, Oh, I recognize that person's name. That's cool.

10:10

You know? Yeah.

10:14

Ooh.

10:16

And I'm terrified of this. I'm terrified. It happened into the new stash is I don't want it to become a soulless corporate looking place.

10:24

And that's, I that's why like, I'm going to cling to this table, Boy,

10:29

boys having a midlife crisis, like it's my child done.

10:36

Right. Why do you even ask?

10:39

Well, that's what I'm afraid of. So like when we go into that new Tom, Steve, Dave general store, you know, seeing this will be like, you know, it'll be like my security plan.

10:48

That's a good point. Cause when I worked stash West, when I got there, that's how I felt.

10:53

I was like, this store belongs on a fucking mall.

10:55

Like this needs to be ugly it up a little bit.

10:57

And that's what I did.

10:59

I took all the fucking Kevin Smith, real shit.

11:02

Put the Simpsons up there. fucking fuck you.

11:07

And

11:07

I

11:07

think

11:07

Kevin

11:07

liked

11:10

it. Cause it didn't look like that's what you guys did. I liked about comic bookstores going in and being like, wow, like it's a, it's going to be a fucking treasure.

11:18

Yeah. Well sort of Dennis. Yeah.

11:19

Not quite. full dentist.

11:28

Yeah. If we go full Dennis and you guys need to pull me aside and be like, well, what's it called?

11:33

When you have an intervention?

11:36

Yeah. That's a, you know what? That might be a good point.

11:38

Maybe new chairs if we had a nice, Sure.

11:40

Why don't we splurge on chairs and keep the table, keep the chair table, get new you.

11:46

But this is the problem. Cause we only use it two hours out of the week.

11:49

So God knows what's happening to those chairs one way.

11:52

Not in them. Get them slobbering All

11:54

over. I mean, every time I come in, these things are broken a stain, this, something like that, you know what I mean?

11:58

Can we get one new chairs?

11:59

I don't want them, us paying for the chairs.

12:01

I think we should get like nice chairs.

12:03

I just, just I'm worried about the chairs when we're not around.

12:07

Well, no one will touch them. They'll be an art in our Tom Steve day general store.

12:09

So those three chairs, no one will sit in your chair.

12:14

I'll get a monitor.

12:20

Beyond the back of the queue on the one and I'll get a w on you.

12:23

And then no, one's allowed to sit in those chairs or less unless you guys are right.

12:26

Wow. That's a fucking awesome idea.

12:28

When the aunts come visit, they won't sit.

12:30

You know, they're going to try and sit in the chairs and get their picture taken.

12:36

If they do Ask to sit in your chair. Yeah.

12:37

I'm gonna look, I'm just going to, yeah.

12:39

I had a feeling he didn't sit in there.

12:41

So, so now how is it gonna work?

12:44

Do you know? It's like, are you going to be stationed?

12:46

There is get up.

12:48

Like who's working the general store.

12:49

I think Getting ripped off.

12:52

And

12:52

this

12:52

is

12:52

a

12:54

Cash only business right now. We don't have to read The

13:01

news. The general store is going to have like an open door.

13:05

So people could just wander into it, you know, while they're walking, looking in the stash.

13:09

So if somebody wanders into the back room, you know, I'm sure that get I or Mike or, or Sunday.

13:17

Yeah. We'll notice it hopefully.

13:18

And if there's somebody wants an item, they'll ask any of the, of the clerks that are out, that are working that day and were like, Hey, I'd like to get a, t-shirt like to get a skull, like to get a hat.

13:29

Yeah. That's called

13:35

And then they'll ring it up at our, we have a little counter.

13:37

We have our own little counter it's it's like, what was the, the name was it?

13:42

Driscoll's in the green, green acres.

13:44

The, the little, the general store.

13:46

It's

13:46

it's

13:46

like

13:46

the,

13:46

it's

13:46

like

13:46

an

13:46

old

13:46

fashion,

13:46

like

13:46

a

13:46

green

13:52

acres.

13:54

I can't wait to see it. Yeah. I see it as like a in Macy's how they have little sub stores with like a Tommy Bahama store within me.

14:01

Right, right.

14:03

Wow. So do you have any intention of ever working the counter?

14:06

Maybe we'll do like days where you and I go in and work.

14:09

That's what I wanted to bring it. The only thing I'm excited about is this idea I had for the new store.

14:14

I want to plant this out to you guys once a month.

14:19

Huh? Once we already know, but okay.

14:21

I

14:21

think

14:21

you're

14:21

going

14:21

to

14:21

love

14:21

this

14:21

once

14:21

a

14:25

month. You say, okay.

14:27

I have, well with your guys' approval, I would like to throw, tell him, Steve Dave town.

14:34

Residents day.

14:37

Okay. So like, let's say for example, March 14th is Frank five day and Tom Steve town.

14:43

And he comes down and we have a celebration.

14:46

We announce it. There's going to be that the stash all day long, that day, you know, for meet and greets photos.

14:53

And we have a Frank five day, I get balloons with his face on it.

14:57

I get a banner and it says we film it until we also make a Patrion episode out of it.

15:03

We also double dip. Yeah.

15:05

Double dip on this motherfucker.

15:06

I

15:06

think

15:06

we

15:06

can

15:06

do

15:11

everybody. I think we can do crystal Dondo day, play day, obviously Sunday, Jeff, he might have a whole week.

15:18

That's called Sunday, but everybody who's anybody Sergeant all 18 is already in.

15:24

I already asked him who, you know, great.

15:26

He, he is super excited about it, but everybody in Thompson, Dave town Maxwell fly man from Tennessee.

15:32

It, you know, his day is, you know, once a month we have a day of tell him Steve Davidson.

15:38

Awesome. Don't you think that's a good idea.

15:40

It's a great idea. I just thought it involved 12 times a year.

15:45

Here's my pitch to you guys.

15:47

I need you to disc is such a great idea in October.

15:52

Yeah. We have the three Baron day.

15:55

Okay. And we're in our Baron costumes, white bear and gold Barron black all day long at the stash.

16:01

One day. You don't want to do it an hour because it's get the, line's going to be out the fucking down broad street, the three barons.

16:08

It's the only chance in your lifetime to meet all three barns at once.

16:12

Yeah. What do you think?

16:13

Can

16:13

you

16:13

get,

16:13

can

16:13

I

16:13

get

16:13

an

16:13

hour

16:13

and

16:13

a

16:13

half

16:13

out

16:13

of

16:13

here

16:13

that

16:13

day

16:13

I

16:13

could

16:21

do. I mean what's a day, eight hours. No, a five hour day, five hours.

16:25

We'll do five hours.

16:27

Five hours is the white barn in October for Halloween pandemic approval.

16:33

You know, you know the pandemics bearings and then feeling their best self to take pictures by October.

16:43

That's why I want to do an October to three barns.

16:45

I'll

16:45

do

16:45

it

16:45

in

16:48

October. You'll have fucking killer. That would be all the Barron balloons.

16:51

All the colors, a barren banner.

16:54

Yeah. We'll have a special Merck made for, just for that.

16:57

That's what our faces on it.

16:58

I

16:58

love

17:01

it. I believe these are going to be the events of 2021.

17:05

I ran into it.

17:07

Yeah. I think it's going to be awesome.

17:09

Speaking of events of 2021, the big show in June.

17:13

I have some good news in best shoes in June.

17:17

Yeah. The 11th anniversary show.

17:20

Okay. Here's the bad news.

17:22

Everyone's going to be disappointed by what I'm about to say.

17:25

The good news is except for one person it's off.

17:30

Yeah. It has to be off. We have to call it off.

17:32

They're just, the promoter is like, I just don't see it happening by June.

17:37

And literally that They

17:39

open with 50% data capacity. It's not, You're

17:42

not going to make any money. Like if we opened it, if we opened it to 50%, because we figured it out, we would lose tremendous amount of money Because

17:50

the tickets were priced.

17:52

Right. So we could like break even, and everybody could afford it and shit know.

17:56

But I don't know that we're doing this with, without live shows right now.

18:00

I'm just like, I don't see us.

18:03

I'm not comfortable telling people to come together.

18:07

You know what I mean? In a, in a, in an area like that.

18:11

So I figured maybe that, that bell works that Kevin did the show at mingle.

18:19

Yeah. The driver that Mingus concert.

18:20

I thought maybe a space monkeys over there.

18:22

Yeah. When it warms up a little bit, I would like to man.

18:26

But the thing is like, if we're gathering all the ants together, if we're doing like a four-color demons, rally, whatever, it's like, you want to be able to like, hang out.

18:33

I'd just be concerned about not being able to like, I wouldn't want to do like for like, if we did something like that, I wouldn't want to do the thing where it's like, we get up on stage.

18:41

We do the show we wave and then we get in the car and drive off.

18:44

You want to be involved a little bit. I just hope we're when's that going to happen?

18:48

When's that going to happen? That's what I worry about.

18:49

So yes, everybody, I'm sorry.

18:52

It was with a very morose about it.

18:57

Well, we'll make, like I said, we're going to have now like these once a month, like events, you know, hopefully, you know, if you guys are up for it, you come down.

19:05

I mean, I'm sure you'll come down. I don't know if you'll come down for Frank five day, but I'd love to maybe, maybe you just zoom in, you know, come around.

19:13

I'll come down. I will. I'm not gonna knock them down if I'm here.

19:16

Okay. I didn't know if you would be a little bit, you know, like nervous about, you know, we'll, we'll, we'll make sure only, you know, like, like two people at a time can come into the room, you know, we'll adhere to all the protocols has meant for you.

19:27

It'll be it. It's going to be awesome.

19:29

Now I like these little mini celebrations.

19:31

Like, you know, maybe we'll have a parade in the backlot by the dumpster.

19:36

Yeah. I like it.

19:38

A little marching band.

19:39

Who's

19:39

in

19:39

this

19:42

parade. It's just, it's just a parade celebrating Frank five foot Ticker

19:49

tape Though.

19:51

You know, it's just, Now we're talking.

19:53

I like to sell that to Frank five.

19:55

Yeah. Everybody

19:56

like every month we're holding parade permits.

20:01

I got a marching band on retainer.

20:02

Get

20:02

them

20:02

on

20:02

a

20:07

trumpet.

20:11

Literally got here. Well, we got stuff to talk about.

20:13

Oh,

20:13

I

20:13

had

20:13

to

20:13

ask

20:17

you. Well, have you happened to drive by Popeye's and union beach?

20:22

I have my jaw having to be picked up off the fucking floor of the car every time as I'm like, how the fuck is there a three hour wait to, to drive a drive through on Popeye's in union beach.

20:36

When you can drive 20 minutes to another Popeye's that has been open for over two years.

20:41

Yeah. I didn't get it either. It's on the highway.

20:43

Like if you're coming down 36 new Popeye's a new that they just Built.

20:48

And I drove by the first day, the line was all the way down the highway.

20:51

I drove by two weeks later.

20:54

Same thing. And I'm like, first off the chicken is not that good.

20:57

It's too spicy.

20:59

I never had it. Yeah. Yeah, no, I don't like it.

21:01

It's just, are you? I have never even eaten at Popeye's.

21:04

I've heard that. I won't like it. People, people have told me that it's too spicy for me.

21:09

I read an interesting article about a real estate in Manhattan.

21:14

And They were like it's and there was this guy and it was pretty candid article.

21:17

I, and he was like, you know how you could tell that the market's real shitty right now.

21:21

He goes, the only everybody's moving out.

21:23

He goes, the only people that are opening more locations in Manhattan are Popeye's really he's like, because when it's like, how that fast food things always in like bad neighborhoods and shit like that.

21:34

That's how it's like. So Popeye's is just opening up.

21:37

They're the only ones opening up new locations.

21:38

That's how that's how fucking bad things are in there.

21:41

I got a feeling our new fuck In

21:43

celebration days are gonna fuck challenge Popeye's lines.

21:47

I would like to see that.

21:49

Yeah.

21:52

I can't get it anywhere else. Popeye's you could get down there 20 minutes away.

21:55

Tell him Steve, Dave And

21:57

residents full access.

22:00

Right? We can talk Frank five-year off for an hour.

22:03

Steve, Dave day, Dave

22:07

day at the, at the stash, he celebrated where he celebrated balloons with his face on it.

22:12

You got to come in on your day off though.

22:17

Okay? Yeah. We'll get a little eight by tens of get them and he could sign them.

22:20

We give away for free. Anybody who shows up, I like it.

22:23

I'm telling you, man, it is going to be a celebration Every

22:27

month in that place.

22:29

It's something to look forward to. That's a problem. These days.

22:31

There's nothing to look forward to hear that brother, you know, you can't schedule anything.

22:36

You can't really schedule a trip.

22:38

You can't schedule it. Like I'm going to go to LA or I think I'm going to go to LA in a month, but then they're talking quarantines and lockdowns did get the, I saw him posting on Instagram.

22:49

He got the vaccine.

22:50

Yeah, Really? I can't wait to take that thing.

22:55

FDN why guys were refusing it. I saw, Oh yeah.

22:58

That's

22:58

surprising

22:58

to

23:01

you. You know, it's not surprising that some of them would input.

23:04

I

23:06

dunno. I actually, a lot of, I say boneheads, but a lot of people that I know and respect you're like, am I taking It

23:12

seriously?

23:14

I read that the Pfizer one, like 23 people died and not this country.

23:18

It was like Sweden or Norway.

23:22

Yeah. Somewhere. I don't know.

23:24

That's all it said. That was just the, Yeah.

23:26

I mean, isn't that every vaccine, right?

23:28

It has some, It's going to have some, some collateral damage.

23:32

Yeah. I went to speaking of the city.

23:34

I was in this city, Mary Beth's birthday.

23:37

We went to the museum of modern art that was open.

23:41

Huh? MoMA. It was open. That's where she wanted to go.

23:43

They have like, you have to set an appointment.

23:46

It's like, you can go in at like 12 or two or four.

23:48

I guess they stagger it. So people don't run a run out, rub up against each other too much.

23:53

Now as an artist, have you been to MoMA?

23:58

Why do you call it MoMA?

24:00

Museum of modern art. It's just, yeah.

24:03

It's just some sort of like the hipsters.

24:06

No, it's, what's written on the side of the building.

24:07

I'm

24:07

a

24:07

hipster

24:07

calling

24:07

this

24:12

place. The stash. Right?

24:14

Have I ever been the moment? Probably.

24:16

Maybe. I don't know, but I gotta be honest with you.

24:18

If somebody was like, Hey, you want to go? I'd be like, fuck.

24:20

Now that's gotta be the most boring ass dude.

24:24

I can't imagine.

24:26

I would rather go to the, to the history and natural Museum

24:30

of natural history. Yeah. Well sometimes they have like pop culture.

24:33

You gotta like at a time they'll have like Superman and shit or yeah.

24:40

Yeah. But most of the time it's just fucking penny farthing, fucking paint, Mason

24:45

jar with a fucking spoon in it.

24:47

It's supposed to come all over the place and umbrella, fucking walking down cobblestone street.

24:53

Yeah. And you're like, it's designed to make you feel bad.

24:57

You're like, well, I don't get it. Why does everyone else get it?

24:59

Like, this is a picture that this is something that was on the wall.

25:05

Okay. It's the red canvas.

25:07

It's a fucking red to Victor. So he could show it up to the viewers.

25:10

Okay. It's a, it's a throw to it. It's a fucking red canvas.

25:13

And I'm like, it's not diaper down by an Alan's.

25:16

And at least I would have been sort of metal.

25:20

It was a red canvas and there were a couple others that were like similar.

25:24

Like one was then there was like this rope thing.

25:27

It was like, basically it looked like a checkerboard of ropes, but then the lower ropes were, were sagging.

25:35

They weren't like symmetrical in that was meant to show the fucking chaos of life or some bullshit.

25:40

And I'm like, fuck off. Oh my God.

25:42

Do you want to see this other? Tell me if you can even fucking find the art in this.

25:46

This is the corner of the fucking room.

25:50

I have four of those in my house.

25:51

Did an artist come in and make them?

25:54

No, They're

25:55

just like cones that touch the ceiling.

25:58

It's yeah. I thought it was part of the wall until I read like, you know, the little, the little thing, the little description Or

26:06

wife have to walk around telling you to stop, critiquing everything, stop saying everything's boring.

26:11

Stop saying, or, or do you, You

26:13

just can't be gay Brian.

26:19

Like you're like, you know, battle to, for, for you to keep your mouth shut and just pretend that you're like you get it or that you're, You're

26:26

quiet enough for her to enjoy it. And while she's there, the resentment, you have a little, there, there are certain ones where I'm just like, like the Salvador Dali stuff.

26:35

Like the surrealist shit. I like that.

26:37

I'm seeing starry night and you know, van Gogh's starry night in real life.

26:41

I'm like, that's weird. Like it's stumped that never thought I'd see.

26:43

But a majority of it, I would just look at, I'll be like, fucking, come on, You

26:48

gotta be kidding me. It's a scam.

26:50

Yeah. But there's somebody there and being like, yeah, sorry dude.

26:53

Like I texted you earlier. I saw your self portrait.

26:56

Oh yeah. That was better than half the shit I saw in the goddamn museum.

26:59

You know, it's a sad thing because I agree.

27:02

Yeah. Yeah. Spoke to me.

27:03

And it was talking about, On

27:06

a dinner party, we had to do self portraits.

27:08

We had the painted, we had to really do it.

27:12

So I did it. I took a real shot at it, but I didn't do my face.

27:16

I did like this conceptual thing.

27:17

Mariano Rivera picked it out of the, he said it was the best out of all four.

27:21

So That's

27:24

a pitcher though. It's an athlete though. Right?

27:26

It's great at what he does.

27:27

I

27:27

mean

27:27

like,

27:27

I

27:27

mean,

27:27

yeah,

27:27

if

27:27

it

27:27

was

27:27

somebody

27:27

like

27:27

Alex

27:33

Ross. Yeah.

27:34

To be honest, take it away while take it away.

27:38

Anybody that looked at the four of our paintings would probably pick one.

27:41

I liked that. It was a lot.

27:43

God was, was funny. Yeah. I thought Sal's was kind of funny too.

27:48

Yeah. Yeah. But, but this, this museum I'm like, I don't know.

27:53

We only got through half of it to it.

27:56

I was there for two and a half hours and inside I was praying that she would just be like, all right, we can go.

28:01

And eventually she did, but she, then she's like, we can come back another time to see the rest.

28:06

Fucking God damn man. That day will never come that's okay.

28:09

What? I'm hoping. Cause we don't really go to the city that much.

28:12

And it was empty, man. I mean, there is no, the museum has, yeah.

28:16

I mean the museum was empty, but I'm talking about the streets.

28:19

Yeah. Like you can't go in and out of Manhattan with no traffic ever.

28:23

And this is, this is what I'm doing the last couple of times I've gone in.

28:27

It's like nothing like right through the tunnel and everything nobody's going in, man.

28:30

Nobody's going in.

28:32

It's not as bad as everybody's saying it is.

28:34

You think like, I mean, I, I go to parts of the city now and that just seems like it used to be.

28:40

I haven't really seen We're

28:42

up on it's up on 53rd.

28:43

But we did. I drove through times square and Holy shit.

28:48

It's like, this is a ghost town comparing to what it would normally be.

28:51

They said, if you go behind a Macy's in Herald square, like that's where all the heroin action is taken place.

28:57

That's where basically everyone's just started camping out, said no way you can do nothing.

29:04

Anything you can do.

29:05

I've

29:05

also

29:05

been

29:05

to

29:05

the

29:05

museum

29:05

of

29:08

torture. Museum of death with toad.

29:10

Toad

29:10

was

29:10

laughing

29:10

like

29:10

a

29:10

maniac

29:10

at

29:10

people

29:10

getting

29:10

hit

29:10

by

29:10

trains

29:10

and

29:16

shit. People around them were pissed.

29:17

Good

29:17

old

29:20

sewed.

29:20

I

29:20

mean,

29:20

last

29:20

year

29:20

we

29:20

went

29:20

to

29:20

Tampa

29:20

for

29:20

her

29:25

birthday. That was a lot more fun.

29:28

And I made it warmer.

29:30

Like I always feel, cause I bought a bunch of photography books when I was getting into photography and stuff like a comic book.

29:35

You open it.

29:37

That's odd. Oh, tell me about it.

29:40

Yeah.

29:42

Speaks to Us. But I bought a book, a like a, I bought a bunch of photo books, like five or six of them and I open them up and I'm like, anybody could have taken this.

29:50

Anybody could have taken the picture.

29:53

Anybody could have taken it anyway.

29:54

You know what I mean? Like I bought a what's his name?

29:56

Dennis Hopper had a book of Polaroids.

29:57

I was like, Oh, I got to see what polar is in this opera took, I opened it up.

30:01

I was like, it's a, it's a spoon.

30:03

It's a, it's like a car in the middle of a road.

30:06

I'm like, anybody could have taken these.

30:08

Yeah. It's all a scam, man.

30:10

I like the dirty seventies. Polaroids.

30:12

Yeah. Yeah. That'd be for self. Yeah. Like gritty and shit, you know?

30:16

Yeah. But there weren't even any interesting ones in there.

30:21

People are all about like the light. And I know there's a ton of artists and photographers being like these ignorant as they should.

30:29

But I'm here to tell you I don't get it.

30:31

I just like, I look at it and I'm like, it's not for me.

30:34

And some of the shit I'm telling her, I'm going.

30:36

I could do that. I could do that.

30:38

I could do better than that.

30:39

She's like share. Okay.

30:40

She doesn't really say much. She just goes on and looks at the next thing.

30:43

She just goes out and enjoys the artwork for what it is.

30:46

Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Not something I ever would choose.

30:51

I don't know.

30:53

I don't know to do for her birthday.

30:54

Well, you, you forwarded something along that speaking of heart is, it is a giant penis, not art.

31:03

Look at that link that I saw.

31:06

I saw the picture. I didn't get into it.

31:08

This, this was sent to me by Tom Malinowski from the Sunday Jeff show host.

31:14

Huh? He used the word penis alert on ism, but Google.

31:18

Oh, I thought he was fucking with me when he sent me this story.

31:21

But I asked him, I was like, are you, are you sure this is a real story?

31:24

And he goes, yeah, I checked it out. It's real.

31:26

And it's a, it's a story about a children's show in Denmark about a man with a elongated.

31:36

I mean super ridiculously long peels, a rope that can, that uses his penis to save people and it can do tricks.

31:46

It's almost like Dr. Octopus, one, one arm coming from his penis.

31:49

And this is a children's show.

31:51

It is weird. Why, why did they allow that?

31:55

What's going on in Denmark? You never hear about Denmark ever.

31:58

You never hear anything about Denmark.

32:01

Where is it? I don't even know where to find it.

32:04

It's over in Europe. It's like around it's around like Sweden and Northern,

32:09

like the forges for George.

32:11

The What's

32:13

the Denmark fucking travel counselor. We're like, we've got to get on the map, man.

32:16

We gotta do something to get people to notice us. How about a, we do a children's show about a fucking man with the magic.

32:21

Yeah. They're like Holland has wouldn't shoot us. How about we get a giant fucking And

32:25

how could they not think it's not going to lead to kids, pulling out their penis?

32:29

Like it's a magical toy In

32:32

the, in the article it said like, one of the episodes is that this, this guy I guess, was a simpleton long penis and he's always making mistakes.

32:40

And one of his mistakes was that he keeps pulling his penis out and he has to be told you can't pull your penis out in public.

32:46

Why is this?

32:49

Do you remember when the cartoons were two robots fighting each other?

32:52

Like, do you remember when it was just, that was a fucking GI Joe fight?

32:56

No one fucking lasers. They never hit each other.

32:58

Like Boltaron they were like forming arms and legs and shit.

33:01

What is going on? Oh, they said to like in the era of the me too movement, like you should not be celebrating a penis that can do fucking magical trick.

33:11

I mean, no matter how true it is.

33:14

Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. But it says here, like the show depicts a man who is impulsive and not always in control, who makes mistakes like kids do.

33:20

But he's an adult.

33:22

He takes responsibility for his actions.

33:24

When a woman that the show tells me should keep his penis in his pants.

33:26

For instance, he listens, which is nice. He is accountable.

33:29

Yeah. But it's like in that moment, like that's not the way the world works.

33:33

Right. And that woman shouldn't be in a position to tell him, to keep his penis in his pants.

33:36

And he's like, Oh, okay. Now I know. Oh, and he's a fucking hero because he put his Dick back in his pants, after a woman on the streets on the way, everybody who, Who

33:45

witnessed someone, ripped their penis out of their pants would just be like, Oh, I didn't know when to put it back in.

33:48

Everybody's like, okay, let's move on.

33:51

Valuable lesson burns.

33:52

It's insane if this is true and I'm not sure it's still true, but apparently there's a clip that we can run during this, that Tom said he saw on YouTube as well, but Society,

34:06

how could It affect adversely children?

34:08

You think? Well, I think you're to definitely a kids pulling their Dick out, playing with their dad.

34:13

For sure.

34:15

Of course. Like you're going to, you're going to see little kids pulling theirs out to see if it can do magic.

34:20

Yeah. It would do magic. Well, it says, what kind of culture are we creating for our children?

34:23

If it's okay for them to see perfect bodies on Instagram, enhanced, digitally or cosmetically, but not real bodies.

34:29

If that's not real either.

34:32

I have a story about a fat guy having funny adventure, Dick out there doing anything.

34:35

And by the way, talk about a fucking, how those kids going to feel, what normal penises they're going to have a, they're all gonna have syndromes.

34:43

They're gonna think they have small dicks. You think that's not gonna affect their confidence going forward.

34:46

That's how you get serial killers.

34:48

Let me tell you it does. Yeah.

34:51

But if you're talking about the copycat syndrome.

34:56

Yeah. But I always was resentful about, you know, about adults.

35:01

But when I was growing up being like, we can't have the human torch on a fantastic, fantastic four cartoon.

35:06

We have to have Herbie to robot because kids will douse themselves in gasoline.

35:10

And the, that is ridiculous.

35:13

Right? So why is it ridiculous? Because the Dick is right there.

35:15

I'm not going to the store and buying flammable fluids.

35:19

Bring it home. Somehow. My mother doesn't see it.

35:21

I'll pour it all over myself and light myself on fire to be the one of the lamest superheroes there is anyway, the human torture.

35:27

It's like, that's, that sounds weird to me.

35:30

As opposed to let my Dick's right here, that guy's doing magic tricks.

35:34

His Dick she's no.

35:39

Is there just, should we just have the other side of the coin and just have a show, a children's show about a girl whose cavernous vagina, vagina does magic.

35:50

Well, it's funny that you mentioned that because in here they say it could've just as easily been that.

35:53

I don't know why it wasn't, but why not though?

35:56

Why not just have an, you know, let's see, teach these kids early on that girl's vagina is a magic.

36:00

Well, I mean, what are the concrete laws?

36:02

Cause maybe a Patrion video or we got Harris.

36:05

What

36:05

is

36:05

the,

36:05

the,

36:05

the

36:05

giant

36:08

vagina. It already does everything that it does, which is pretty awesome.

36:12

Like, so birth, it gives it like saying right.

36:15

Well we metaphorically, you know, use it as a trap.

36:19

Yeah. But that's the downside of it.

36:21

Right. You know, trap, somebody smells it.

36:24

Yeah. Tuna, right? Yeah. Too much bitter tuna bitch.

36:32

But what do you think?

36:32

Like

36:32

how

36:32

would

36:32

you

36:32

feel

36:32

like,

36:32

I

36:32

mean,

36:32

in

36:32

all

36:32

seriousness,

36:32

like

36:32

try

36:32

not

36:32

to,

36:32

to

36:32

how,

36:32

how

36:32

awful

36:32

is

36:32

it

36:32

that

36:32

like

36:32

kids

36:32

are

36:32

being

36:32

now

36:32

exposed

36:32

to

36:32

something

36:32

like

36:46

this? Like, well, thinking back to like how like uncomfortable.

36:50

Yeah. It it's awful.

36:53

How could you sell toys based on this it's Denmark man.

36:57

They're fucking freewheeling.

36:58

I don't know.

37:00

I don't have kids.

37:01

So I generally the stuff like this doesn't usually hit on my radar, but that is, that sounds really, Really

37:07

sexualizing them early on.

37:09

Yeah. I mean, that's what people think.

37:11

That's where people think they're like, what's her name? Busy Phillips came out with her daughter and she's like, she's gay.

37:16

It's like, she's 10 years old.

37:17

Like first off. Why do you have to announce your kid's sexuality?

37:20

No matter who you are.

37:22

But on top of it, it's like, why is it so important?

37:26

All this sex shit with kids. It's weird.

37:28

I think because it's not something that happened with us.

37:31

No, no. But Denmark has got to have like some much more advanced thoughts.

37:38

That sounds advanced too.

37:40

Well, I'm talking about in terms of like, you know, they must not be, What's

37:44

your deal.

37:44

You

37:44

want

37:44

to

37:44

catch

37:44

up

37:44

with

37:44

them

37:49

That they're like thinking like, you know, like maybe a hundred years in the future, you know, right now, because I'm like, this is too way too fucking radical for me.

37:59

I don't think he goes, I don't think you could get that to fly in the United States.

38:02

Hell no, no, No,

38:03

not it wouldn't even get past the pitch.

38:07

Could you imagine you pitched it to me on the phone?

38:10

Yeah. The American version.

38:12

Yeah. Well, first off the biggest bullshit is the guy's white.

38:15

I always, he a big fat guy.

38:19

What? A giant all Octopussy Dick.

38:21

Yeah. I wonder how it gets hard because I'm

38:26

sure the same way.

38:26

All penises get interact Like

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42:04

No amount Of Bluetooth is going to get that fucking rope.

42:06

He goes Deckard. Yeah. You need a lot of blue chew on that one, but what else do we go to?

42:12

No, I ain't got any new years, man.

42:14

What'd you do for new years?

42:15

A long time. It's felt so fucking silly to do anything fun.

42:21

Well, I was, I was, as the ball dropped, I was having texting Frank five.

42:32

Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause our far ladies were sleeping.

42:36

Oh really? Actually I just, he just texted me.

42:39

He got you up. And I was like, yeah, watch a Pluto.

42:41

Yeah, me too.

42:42

It

42:42

doesn't

42:42

mean

42:46

yeah. When you get to a certain age. Yeah.

42:48

New year's is absolutely meaningless.

42:51

But when was the last time it did mean something to you? Like did it ever for me never.

42:55

Like I never went into the city.

42:57

Like the city always looked like a nightmare to go to watch the ball drop.

43:01

Now only the mayor and his fucking wife dancing Guy.

43:08

You stayed home. I'm assuming queue.

43:10

Yeah. But that, that was, that was gonna happen. No, usually we do a show in New York.

43:13

It's usually my new year's or spent less five years.

43:15

I think I've been, we do a show new year's Eve that night we get off stage around 10 and then wherever we are, we usually go somewhere together and, and like, like, like for it, Mohegan sun.

43:27

Yeah. We'll get a room in their steak house and we'll just sit back there and hang out with our boys and just drink.

43:31

It's it's usually a funnier this year. I just, I stayed home.

43:34

I watched a Dick Clark.

43:36

I watched you guys are texting me that too.

43:38

Yeah, It was awesome.

43:39

So at, at, at when Dick Clark started at 1985, I started it now and then I watched the Clark until the end.

43:49

Really? Then I would switch over.

43:51

Cause you know, they're not always the most exciting thing.

43:52

And, and I caught some of that.

43:54

What's the one with the Fox one.

43:57

Oh, Jamie, Jamie Kennedy. Yeah.

43:59

It wasn't, I didn't see Jamie Kennedy.

44:01

I saw Joel McHale and hold that one.

44:03

Yeah. Jimmy Kennedy was years ago.

44:05

I thought so too. We were talking about, yeah. The one with Joel McKell and Ken, John, Holy shit.

44:11

Like, wow. These guys are fucking drunk.

44:13

I don't even know that they knew they were doing a show.

44:15

Well, at least Ken John at the end there, he Looked,

44:18

he said he appeared to be wasted And

44:20

I've been wasted on stage.

44:23

I, the last time I was drunk, I was, Is

44:26

that guy on stage? I was like, I'm not doing anymore.

44:28

I can't drink like that on stage anymore.

44:30

It was crazy. That show.

44:33

Yeah. He, it, it was weird. Cause it was so much like dead air.

44:37

And they're talking to people who recorded shit long before this.

44:41

Oh, they're trying to fake it. Yeah. They were trying to fake it.

44:44

Some of it. And then they were talking to some, talking to some football player for the longest time and the conversations are so awkward and it's like, it's making that, that zoom sound like that electronically.

44:55

Like zoom sound.

44:57

Oh yeah. I'll tell you who, Kelly, Kelly, Osborne.

45:01

Kelly, Kelly Osborne. She came off really well.

45:04

She was like dopey and like friendly, fun and stuff like that.

45:07

For what she had to work with. Yeah. I thought they did a good, I mean, I just assume everybody on those shows you're drunk.

45:11

You're high right there. They gotta be on something, something loose, you know?

45:16

Good.

45:18

What's it. Cindy lopper. I didn't see them to show you didn't watch it.

45:22

I didn't. I guess I was watching. I was really into Dick Clark.

45:24

Yeah. Yeah. They had some fun. I can't remember them right now, but they had some fun acts and stuff like that.

45:28

It was good. When the ball dropped, we were, I was at Troy's, you know, Troy's over here.

45:33

And the, we were watching ABC at the time and they were a minute off now.

45:39

Yeah. I looked it up and the only person I saw them to mention that also was Travis from the Jim and Sam show.

45:46

But I'm looking at my phone and it says midnight and that's exactly when they started the countdown.

45:52

So ABC was a minute off.

45:53

Try to make 20, 20 a minute longer.

45:56

Fuck man. Get out of that shit.

45:59

It

45:59

was

46:02

fine. Yeah. It was very, very quiet because usually they have so many people there, but this year it was just us and then one other couple.

46:10

And then, you know, some of the kids' friends and shit.

46:12

So he food drank booze, crummy.

46:17

Fucking weird year.

46:19

How are you? What's to do anyway.

46:21

Yeah. There's nothing to do. Although that's what I would have done anyway.

46:23

Like that's what I liked. It would have been more people there though.

46:26

Would have been more of a party and shit.

46:28

Yeah. I guess so.

46:28

Fuck it.

46:30

There's nothing you can do. I'm on my fucking fourth bird feeder man.

46:34

Up my yard. So I'm all set for this new year.

46:36

I'm good to go. He learned a, I was texting with him.

46:39

He learned that the Cardinals. Yeah.

46:41

He should Not have been excited about all those Cardinals.

46:43

Yeah. Bullies. They're fucking assholes, man.

46:45

They're aggressive.

46:47

Right? They really like, if another bird's on there, they'll get pissed.

46:50

They'll come over and just like scream at them until they leave.

46:52

And then just start furiously eating and like looking around to see if anybody's coming.

46:57

Like they're really kinda dickheads Cardinals.

46:58

I'm learning. Is

47:00

there a favorite bird replaced him?

47:03

I mean, there's still the best looking ones. So I'm there, but I'm, I've always been a chickadee guy myself, but there's this thing.

47:10

So Helen got me for Christmas. She got me this really nice bird house.

47:14

It looks like a, like a house it's big.

47:15

It's made of metal and stuff. It's got a roof that opens up and you fill the whole thing in and it's supposed to be squirrel proof.

47:21

Cause like when they step on the bars, it closes a feeding trial.

47:24

So the weight of the squirrel will close the feeding trap.

47:27

Right? Great. This is not fill up. Put it out there.

47:29

Oh my Cardinals are going to love this shit. I get out there.

47:31

I'm seeing squirrels. They get frustrated.

47:33

They can't open it. I'm getting super excited.

47:35

I'm like, this is sweet. I'm going to feed my birds and only my birds.

47:39

Right. And then go, do you want to feed the squirrels? I do want to feed the squirrels, but I have separate gotcha things for them to do that because they scare the birds away.

47:46

Then the birds don't eat. So I try to put out food and different places to be Dr.

47:51

Doolittle here a little bit. Just what squirrels and birds.

47:53

So now I fucking get up in the morning.

47:56

I make my ice tea. There's that's what I have in the morning, my tea.

47:59

And I go to a window to look at my bird house and the fucking squirrels managed to get the roof open and they're, they they're in it.

48:05

They just crawled into the bird house and they just sit in there, chewing their feet.

48:09

And then there's like fake windows in the bird house.

48:11

And I see them looking at me through the windows, like, see if I'm coming out to like close it on them and shit like that.

48:18

There's just no beating these fucking fucking crafty.

48:21

Aren't they? It's unbelievable, man. There's nothing.

48:23

I can do that. Stumpy. I call them stuff. He's got a lot. He's got, he's got his tail cut off.

48:26

I think a cat got on when he was young. He, he gets in everything, man.

48:29

He's just fucking smart.

48:31

Would you consider putting some chicken coops on your land, on your land and raising chickens?

48:37

I mean, it seems like you really enjoy this.

48:39

I mean really getting your hands dirty and really Okay.

48:41

Puerto Rican fucking chickens in his yard now the fuck.

48:46

I mean, this is really hard.

48:49

That's all my, all my, all my crew raises chickens.

48:52

And this is how you're really connecting how you're like, you know, you can really become like vital to their, to their survival.

48:58

Then I would, what I would do is I would let some of the Staten Island turkeys, I would create favorable conditions for the turkeys to live in my house.

49:07

Like a hand.

49:09

Yeah. But not something I have to clean. It's gotta be something that hire somebody for that.

49:13

Yeah. I got somebody on your property cleaning up Turkey.

49:16

Shit. I like it.

49:18

A shit Boy, man. Think about like, I mean that's really interactive.

49:21

It becomes work though. It, then it becomes a job.

49:24

Well, you could have a Turkey cam like inside the house.

49:26

Wait a minute.

49:27

I

49:27

just,

49:27

I

49:27

don't

49:27

want

49:27

it

49:27

to

49:27

become

49:31

work. It's gotta be just Cause then you'll see the, the inner, like the inner workings of the Turkey life.

49:39

No. Well this is the only way you're going to get it to see it.

49:41

Yeah. I don't really care that.

49:42

So you just want to Yeah.

49:53

Turkeys, rip apart. His camera set up.

49:55

Good

49:57

man. Are they mean the turkeys? Because they're notoriously like friendly.

50:02

They're not friendly. Yeah. They'll they'll they are like, we have these turkeys on Staten Island that are, I think I've talked about it before.

50:09

Like they're, they're, they're two different types of species.

50:12

Three. There's a special Staten Island.

50:14

Species of Turkey. Some of them are really nice.

50:16

Like the females, when they have their birds and stuff, they're in the neighborhood.

50:19

I'll feed them and they'll come and hang out and stuff with somebody you don't like What?

50:38

Because they're known for, they always have like roosters, The

50:41

yards and shit. Sage has one it's fucking drives me crazy.

50:51

Do we know any Puerto Rican's? We can call it.

50:52

I never heard that. Oh yeah.

50:55

They always have like Livestock. Like I remember in San Francisco, Julio had a goat in his yard and shit.

51:01

They love keeping like animals, a show from the seventies and a different kind of animal.

51:08

I

51:08

don't

51:11

know. There's a couple of One second guys here. Do you guys have any wildlife?

51:14

Like any domesticated livestock?

51:17

No. Nothing. Huh? There was a house for the longest time bef you know, pre Sandy that had chickens in the yard and I couldn't believe how many chickens they had right.

51:28

In port Monmouth. We would drive by it just to see him with all the chickens out in the yard.

51:32

And we could hear them in the morning.

51:34

There, there was that one rooster, I guess who, who had the cock?

51:38

Yeah, Literally would do.

51:39

He would Crow

51:42

in the morning. Like just sounded just like a cartoon from like bugs bunny or something.

51:46

And They were Puerto Rican.

51:50

I don't know what they were, to be honest with you. I never saw the, the people who own the house, but Sandy washed it all away.

51:56

All the chickens.

51:57

Well, all the, all the hen houses, it was gone, you know, you know, and I don't think they ever never rebuild rebuilt Down

52:06

in key West. There's so many tons of chickens down there and shit.

52:10

They'll wake you up in the morning.

52:14

You can start selling eggs.

52:16

Yes. Turkey, eggs, chicken.

52:22

Yeah. I mean, there's probably, you know, it's just all stuff I don't want to do, man.

52:25

I just want to see the Cardinals Go down to, well, you don't like eggs, man.

52:28

I don't eat eggs. You like bacon.

52:30

They should raise pigs and slaughter.

52:37

That sounds easier.

52:38

What'd

52:38

you

52:38

have

52:38

it

52:38

in

52:43

here? If like your, you know, your Away

52:45

or you're living on the compound, you got to kill an animal that wouldn't have it in me.

52:49

I don't think I would have eaten grass and shit.

52:52

I could fish.

52:52

You could do it to a fish tail.

52:55

How come? I haven't have legs. Right.

52:57

So cute. I can't bond with his crazy eyes.

53:00

Yeah. No personality.

53:01

Can't blink.

53:02

Just stares at you.

53:04

Like I look at it. I'm like, we don't even look like, like, like animals, like see something in myself.

53:10

I think it was Patrice. So Neil said something about fisheries.

53:13

Like they don't have eyebrows.

53:14

I think that was his, his bit where they don't have eyebrows.

53:17

And that's what makes them so difficult to identify with where it's like, you know, like a cat or like over especially dog, you know, they have expressions.

53:26

They have expression in their face.

53:27

Always has the same expression.

53:29

Shocked. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like I can't believe I got caught.

53:32

They said this is going to happen.

53:34

But

53:34

cats

53:34

are

53:34

very

53:38

similar. I think too, like I don't, I don't, I rarely see a look of joy on my cat's face.

53:42

Like he's either fucking staring at me, scratch that.

53:46

Chin. I scratched the chin turns upside down and rolls around.

53:50

Yeah. Sometimes. But their face is always the same.

53:52

Like once they open their eyes, they're just like looking at you.

53:55

I've come to identify different, different looks on my cats.

53:59

I think there's a mouse in the basement somewhere.

54:02

And it comes up through this hole in the wall into like the mudroom.

54:06

And cause we saw a hole in the peanuts that Mary Beth gives to the squirrels.

54:11

She feeds squirrels. He's fucking peanuts.

54:13

I'm like, have you never seen a fucking squirrel before?

54:15

Every time? Like she has her own squirrels.

54:18

She has, she has fucking Skippy.

54:20

She has fun peanut.

54:22

She has fucking Jiffy pop Jeff Johnson Jr.

54:25

All kinds of squirrels that she feeds all the time.

54:27

But even if we see squirrels in the wild, she's like, Ooh, the squirrel a little bit is really so common.

54:33

So you get excited by a squirrel now mouse in the house though.

54:39

Oh, the mouse in the house.

54:42

What? Absolutely make it so I could not relax.

54:46

Right? Well it's in the mudroom because I see the little hole, but the cat and princess Mitch what's that mean princess it's like, which one is it?

54:59

No. No. Like Fred Sanford with his glasses, the cat, the other day sat there for two hours just watching that whole cause he must've, she must've been able to hear something in it and I'm like the patient's exhibited by a cat.

55:14

Just so it's like, as soon as a motherfucker comes out, I'm going to kill it.

55:17

Tell me If this is the appropriate response.

55:19

After Sandy, we got back into our house probably about a month after Sandy and had to get all new appliances because all the appliances in the kitchen were washed, you know, were, were destroyed and the, the fridge, Oh no, the stove.

55:39

Wasn't the, the, the, the kind of like, it's like a stretchy kind of tubing kind of like, yeah, it wasn't corked up properly as it was previously.

55:53

So like things could get through that hole.

55:56

So I walked into the kitchen the first night back into the house after being gone for almost like, I guess it was six weeks and I flipped the light on and at a corner of my eye, on the, on the stove, I saw that tail, that long tail and it jumped down, jumped down behind the stove is the appropriate response to feel nauseous and almost throw up.

56:20

I'd scream for Betty. Yeah.

56:25

I'm not gonna lie, man. I was like, I was like, I

56:30

don't Know why I've seen mice before.

56:32

It wasn't a rat.

56:33

No, it was, it was a mouse and it had a long tail though.

56:36

And I've seen it like at the zoo.

56:39

I watched him, you know, I fucking zoo you go into where it's like, here's the fucking North American mouse Zhou.

56:45

You go into the dark house where the bathroom.

56:46

Oh yeah. You'll see my scenario all the time.

56:48

I could watch that for hours and not feel nausea.

56:49

But in my house I felt like I was going to vomit.

56:54

And just like, my back was all sweaty and like, Oh, I had to sit down and I was also like, huh, Standing

57:03

on a chair.

57:06

Yeah. I like it like that to me, just like is like, that's how I can't even abide by, by having a vermin In

57:14

the house. No, it's disgusting. Isn't It

57:16

think about it. When I think back to when I seen, I could still see it, that the flash and my wife being like, no, you didn't see that us.

57:26

I swear to God. I saw that puke over there.

57:32

Then the next day, you know, like I told her, I was like, I swear to God.

57:34

And I, we barricaded the bedroom door.

57:37

You know, we put stuff in front of the door.

57:39

So the mouse couldn't get in and the next and the next, You

57:42

mean under the door. Right. He was going to knock the door in like that.

57:46

We put up boxes of comics up against the door.

57:48

So the mouse couldn't see, There's a fire though.

57:50

Boxes

57:50

of

57:50

comics

57:54

Into the wall. So they couldn't bounce. Couldn't squeeze Its way in by them.

57:58

Because early in the morning she got up and she went and she went looking around at the cabinets and she saw evidence of a mouse thrills.

58:05

Yet she had to come back up and apologize and say, yeah, we definitely got a mouse.

58:10

Is it a, is it annoying when it's just like, I know what I saw.

58:12

God dammit. Like, why aren't you telling me I didn't sit here.

58:15

Cause I'm prone to hysterics, especially when it comes to like vermin.

58:21

So was it entirely possible that you didn't see it?

58:26

I saw it, but like she didn't, she wasn't, she didn't want to believe it though.

58:30

I think a lot of women was like, no, I don't want to deal with that too.

58:32

But we had to have somebody come over and like re stuff, the holes of all the appliances.

58:38

Cause they didn't realize that, you know, there'll be so much opportunity for vermin to squeeze their way They

58:44

were digging. I know it's fucking disgusting.

58:47

I would kill a mouse or a rat if necessary.

58:51

I could trap them.

58:52

Like when I lived at Pam's house, I would like, there was a mouse that would keep getting into the bridge.

58:56

I don't know how the fuck he did it, but he kept doing it to the bread drawer, a couple of different bikes and I would take them and I released them in the woods, but a rat, I would, I would get my gun out and shoot it.

59:05

It's just, I'm like, it probably has rabies probably gonna bite me.

59:09

Probably not. Probably I put a couple of holes in the floor and the thing would go back into a tall, it looks like a fucking Michael J.

59:20

Fox, Mary

59:24

Beth in the legs.

59:28

But when they, the, they tore up the streets right by Pam and Edgar's house to put in new sewer lines.

59:33

And I guess rats live in those pipes and they would get it.

59:38

They were going into everyone's houses.

59:39

So Pam and Edgar had a whole bunch of rats in their houses and they had to come in and people had to like set poison bait and all this other shit.

59:47

But what happens is the rats die.

59:49

And then they just run away and the rafters and all these fucking flies, like these viral hooks and shit turned into flies at like, they looked like bumblebees.

59:57

I'd never seen fucking flies that looked like this.

59:59

Yeah, exactly.

1:00:01

Man. It was fucking disgusting.

1:00:03

I was like, Pam here, If

1:00:08

you get chicken, so you don't have to worry about that though.

1:00:10

I think it's these cats.

1:00:12

Oh yeah.

1:00:13

I'm covered.

1:00:16

Yeah. So I'm not too afraid because the one cat is like a good Mauser for just Mitch.

1:00:20

The other one, like he lays in bed probably 22 hours a day and he's on our bed.

1:00:28

Just we'll move. It's it's weird.

1:00:30

What are they thinking about? How old is he?

1:00:32

About seven.

1:00:33

What about if I had a rat terrier?

1:00:37

Yep. That'd be all right. Right. They would probably hunt.

1:00:39

I think your dogs with Baton.

1:00:41

I don't know.

1:00:43

All three are up on a chair.

1:00:48

You guys got any last memories? Anything you want to add?

1:00:51

Anything before we leave this building for the very last time?

1:00:57

Well, I am looking forward to the new place.

1:01:00

I'd like to leave for my eye.

1:01:02

Let me just interrupt you real first.

1:01:07

What the fuck? This phone is listening to me subtly.

1:01:09

It's talking about mouse traps.

1:01:10

Holy shit. But you didn't realize your phone.

1:01:13

Listen to you. Oh my God.

1:01:15

The thing I've said, the thing I didn't realize that your phone just will, will do that.

1:01:20

I've heard it. And I know people say it, but I'm just like, I mean, come on.

1:01:25

But like how does it know?

1:01:26

Cause it's listening at all times.

1:01:28

So here's all that stuff I say about Mexicans.

1:01:33

Oh no, no, no.

1:01:36

Yeah. Like how, like it's crazy. Right?

1:01:38

So just, if it comes up, Spying

1:01:41

on you, that's the, that's the price we pay for having these smartphones?

1:01:44

I guess. So, I mean, I don't really say anything interesting enough that anybody would care about Any,

1:01:48

any last, any lasting, like poignant thoughts.

1:01:53

I mean, you're usually the guy to go to, like who has like some really eloquent and really sums it up so beautifully.

1:02:00

I don't really have anything like that.

1:02:03

no,

1:02:03

man,

1:02:03

I

1:02:03

I've

1:02:03

always

1:02:03

just

1:02:03

had

1:02:03

this

1:02:13

place. So linked with Tom, Steve, Dave in my heart.

1:02:16

And since Tom, Steve, Dave is just continuing on.

1:02:19

I feel like the spirit of everything that we love about this place will still be available to us.

1:02:24

It'll just be down the block a little bit, same magical table.

1:02:28

It's pretty eloquent. Really nice.

1:02:30

The magic, the magic can be transported.

1:02:37

It's not even transport. It's just it's I

1:02:40

never worry about that. Like, you know, like, like a new setting, a new environment, you know, maybe we can't recapture the, We

1:02:49

could do this on a desert Island. We're fucking magicians podcast and magicians wizards.

1:02:54

Yeah, I think so.

1:02:58

I, I mean, I hope so. I we're always worried about that.

1:03:00

I always worry. At some point there's nothing left to talk about.

1:03:03

Look at Tom Brady.

1:03:05

It's

1:03:07

unbelievable. You just picked up his act. He moved across the country and areas.

1:03:10

That's all we're doing. We're going to Tom Braden, this shit.

1:03:12

Ryan's

1:03:12

going

1:03:12

to

1:03:12

think

1:03:12

that

1:03:12

we

1:03:12

should

1:03:12

have

1:03:12

fucking

1:03:12

stayed

1:03:12

or

1:03:12

that

1:03:12

our

1:03:12

best

1:03:12

days

1:03:12

are

1:03:17

behind. This is going to be like this mother fuckers is still doing it.

1:03:21

Tell him Steve, Dave less. We had another commercial.

1:03:24

No. I'll get a monogrammed So he was a 467 to Frank five. Yeah. 'em Yeah. Also Double dip. Yeah. Double dip. On this mother. Yeah. them, Steve Dave. Hello, and welcome to this week's the last edition of Tell them, Steve Dave. Being broadcast from thirty five Broad Street, that is Mhmm. -- boys. It's the end of an era. I was gonna say that you that you throw that phrase around Lucy Gucci, I feel, the end of an hour. You you always hear that, you know, regarding anything. Mhmm. Is it apropos here? Is it appropriate to say it's an end of an hour? I think so. I mean, it might be a, you know, maybe a less regarded era than say, human history looks at eras. But personally, It's huge. I was gonna say, I I would think it it meets the standard. A decade? It is up to the level of end of an era. There's a Roman era. Not on the empire. The the Mongolian board today. Those areas. Will will it be any 467, you think? Once we we have to settle into new digs, our own little spot. Oh yeah. I don't think there's any doubt it's gonna be different. More 'em? That I don't know. I problem. You're gonna have answers. I doubt it would be more comfortable. If I'm gonna be honest, I really doubt it. I could tell already it's uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. Oh, good. Same. 467 are new dis 467? A little a little of some oldest 467 and some new ones, some new ones unexpected ones that I'm just like, wow. Didn't think that was gonna happen. The closing of the story is a bigger deal to you than this to me and Brian. Right? Yeah. I would think I would think it would it would be a bit more significant to me because I spent twenty years here. This was definitely without a doubt. The place I spent most of my time at other than my home, I would eat. If you could make the argument that, you know, it was probably equal when you, when you, if you take out 467 you could've make the argument that, you know, it was probably equal. Mhmm. When you when you If you take out sleep, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I spent a lot of time between these walls and it's definitely weird to to think that, you know, you know, I came in here today, and Mike and Gitmeid was like, you know, we need your keys. Mhmm. They want your keys. You know, you know, it's just weird. Mhmm. I had to turn my keys over. No. Will this new place have a bathroom designed for employees that a nice bathroom. I'm not saying not like not a taco bell. They're not a taco 467 taco rather. There is a bathroom at the new stash But Let's hear about it. But no one's getting that fucking key that another 'em that I have that that Mike secured. No one Well, you can't give it back that No. No. I'm gonna back. 467 not required from my cold 467 fucking hand like fucking heston. You should come back here just to use it. You know, not just to walk down the street. Oh, yeah. Whatever I need to use, Beth, I'm gonna use that Where are you gonna go? Oh, 467 only it's only across the parking lot. Why was there only a bathroom there? It's not as nice as the one that's over here. Bry the principal I I don't see. And I don't see, to be honest with you, I don't see Mike or get him or anybody actually cleaning that bathroom on the, on the regular basis that they have a cleaning lady at this one over I don't see to be honest with you, I don't see Mike or 'em or anybody actually cleaning that bathroom. On on the on the regular basis that they have a cleaning lady at this one over here. Right. We didn't include yourself in that. I I feel like you don't see yourself cleaning it either. You know, those lazy motherfuckers are not gonna believe it. No. There there's more to it than that, but, like, you know, for going forward in a new store, those guys are gonna be more self motivated. Mhmm. So I don't see them getting the fucking toilet scrub brush out and making sure there's a deep down clean. And what do you think? Not good at scrubbing toilets. I would get in summer camp by the trade side. Why the fuck Let me show that you're also fucking ruined nothing in it. Go ahead. In summer camp, I would train that job off every time I got it in the bathroom. With training duty? Yeah. I would I hated it. It was fine. Well, who did you trade who did you trade with? Like, who's like, okay. I'll trade with you. Anyway, what what was the job? It was another job called runner, which was when they sounded runner's call, you ran to the to the dining hall and you set up the tables and then during dinner and all during all the meals, you got up and got food for everybody. So that's everybody else hated that Bry. I loved it. So But I'd rather do that than the toilets too. It's just so every time came to my job, do me ask them, I would trade it off to somebody else. So Yeah. So I just There's no experience then. I just get the feeling and, and if I got that key, why not use it just get the feeling and and and if I got that key, why not use it? Right. Well, I stopped using it? It's a small two second walk over to a nice clean bathroom that smells like It's it's a small two second walk over to a nice clean bathroom that smells like heaven. No. I can get them. Don't have that key, Don't have that keys. They have it. Oh, they have it too. They could use it too, but, I mean, I mean I mean, get them use a porta john. So that one's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But Yeah. It's gonna be it's gonna be 467. But, yeah, this is a a very strange experience. Like, you've seen all those TV shows, the last episode of television show, and they you know, how were they gonna end it? You know, there was 467, people felt it was -- Yeah. -- unfulfilling and ending. Yeah. But it's this isn't really ending. It's moving down the block. Yeah. It's it's Kind of, I mean, I mean, yeah, people keep saying that, but I yeah. Yeah. I can't get over the feeling that it feels like it's an ending now. Yeah. You just can't shake it. Well, you're you're too old, I think, to get excited about like the future of the store. Right? I mean, Like moving is more of a pain in the ass. It was in the ass. It was moving 20 years of, of was moving twenty years of of garbage. Right. Yeah. That Come on down to the station. It's there was a lot of stuff that basement was full of stuff that, like, like, hoarders would be like, oh, you got a problem, Like, it almost like this. Something going on here. Did you toss a lot or or have everything made its way over? No. Not everything made its way over. There was quite a bit that made its way into a dumpster. Yeah. Gems that you were like, whoa. I can't believe we have this. I mean, if it was a gem, it wouldn't have been it wouldn't have been It wouldn't have been under dumpster. Yeah. No. It didn't mean the dumpster downstairs. We We found some found some comp and pops that, you know, the the the very valuable comp and pops. We found a, a set of we found a a set of three, not a complete set. Oh, who are you missing? I believe, Meng was missing. Yeah. Meng was missing. But you're being stolen. Oh, yeah. That was not missing. 467 blowing does more of the word. Yeah. You think about well, I was talking to Kew about this, like, obviously, I don't have any attachment to it as a store, but like comic bookman -- Yeah. -- for, you know, seven years we did it here. So that was more my attachment. Even more than tell him Steve Dave, I feel. Which is weird because we have done a lot of stuff here. You know, like every single video we've done, the white castle hamburger, eating contest, men getting hypnotized, the fucking You know? Like every single video we've done, the White Castle hamburger eating contest, getting hypnotized the fucking fraudulent It's endless. It's endless. That's why it's, like, it's hard to shake that. Like, that melancholy. Moroz. Is that the right word? I mean, if you're feeling that low about it. That's what I would Properly used though, or melancholy is use Oh, Melancholy good. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's yeah. I mean, it's it's true. I mean, I'm gonna say it again. It's an end of an hour. Until someone stops me. Unless somebody fucking tried tonight. I mean, I mean, how many episodes of tell him, Steve, Dave, at least 99% of many episodes of Hell, Steve Dave, at least ninety nine percent of them. I would think we're I would think. All recorded here. I mean, a very few were recorded outside the I mean, a very few were recorded outside the stash. There there were a couple, but -- Yeah. -- that many. I wanted a diner maybe the couple here and there, maybe some at a shared universe. Yeah. Is this table gonna make its way over there? just want to ask you. I hope not. No. You don't. You guys don't wanna Oh, I like it. I would. It's I I think let's put it to a I mean, it's a Well, I think if we're already voting. I really was gonna break it over. I felt like, you know, like, It would be the it would be nice to bring this over, you know, but maybe that's just me, you know, being feeling like, again, melancholy. Yeah. I mean, I look at, like, Mike and Ming's table -- Yeah. -- over at shared universe. And I'm like, no. That looks professional. That looks nice. It has fucking crumbs and shit all over it all the time. Like, every time we come down here, it looks pretty crappy. It's all torn apart. Taping it. But look at how many You're being ironic. I I know. I'm not what you're doing. I can see that kind of Rolling up. No. III would assume we were just bringing this right over. I mean, the felt has has, like, soaked up so many laughs. Worth money. It's worth money. Let's put it apart and buy it. It's like a 467. Yeah. You know, know. I mean, you know, how much of a 467 have, like, or like, if you squeeze this out, Mhmm. Like, oh, you squeeze out on the left side of this felt? Yeah. That's true. Alright. Let's keep it. I I thought I thought about it. That way it that way. I mean, We could vacuum we could vacuum it. We don't have to sleep in a wrong bottle. It's more that, like, what you'd like This kind of stuff like hanging down and like, it hurts sometimes of stuff, like hanging down, and like it hurts sometimes. When when you brush your wrist against it. How about this? Yeah. I said he won't clean the bathrooms, but can we get a Dustbuster and maybe once or twice a month hit the, hit the felt on the said he won't clean the bathrooms, but can we get a dust buster and maybe once or twice a month? Hit the hit the felt on the table. Yes. Alright. Okay. I'm in then. I'm in And I'll cut off some of the jagged tape. Well, rehab. Yeah. They don't rehab would do it. Because do like looking good people because I'm like, oh, I recognize that person's name. That's cool, you know. Yeah. Then you get some real love inside the club. Oh. What what can be happen and I'm terrified of this. I'm I'm terrified. It happened into the new stash is I don't want it to become a soulless corporate looking it happen into the new stash is I don't want it to become a soulless corporate looking place. And that's why, like, I'm gonna cling to this table. Boy, that's why boys having a mid 467 crisis. Like, it's my child. Like, I'm done. Right? Why don't you even ask you? Let's what I'm afraid of. So, like, when we go into that new tell them Steve Dave general store, you know, seeing this will be like, you know, it'll be like my security blanket. That's a good point because when I worked at Stash West, when I got there, that's how I felt. I was like, this store belongs on a fucking mall. Like, this needs to be ugly up a little bit. And and that's what I did. I took all the 467. And Kevin Smith real shit off. I put the Simpsons up there. Sneugins and pee. Oh. Snugins fucking 467. Yeah. Snugins. That's kind of and I think Kevin liked it because it didn't look like that's what you guys liked about comic book stores going in. And it'll be like, wow. Like, it's it's gonna be a a fucking treasure hunt for shit. You know? Those are the dentists. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not quite that. Yeah. Not going full dentists. Yeah. I'm not going full dentists. Yeah. If we go full dentists and you guys need to pull me your sign and be like, well, get out. We need it. We need it. What's it called when you have intervention? Yeah. That's you know 467? what? That might be a good That might be good point. Maybe new chairs. 467 we had nice Sure. Why don't we splurge on chairs and keep the table, keep the chair table, get new do we use splurge on chairs and keep the table? Keep the chair table, get new chair, but this is the problem because we only use it two hours out of the week. So God knows what's happening to those shares, one way or not, and get them slumber and all of them. I mean, every time I come in, these things are broken, staying to someone back. You know what I mean? Can we get We want new chairs. Got it. I don't want us pain for the chairs. I think we should get, like, nice chairs. I just just I'm worried about the chairs when we're not around. Well, Well, no one will touch one will touch them. They'll be in our in our Tom's Steve Day General store. So those three chairs, no one will sit in your chair. I'll get a monogrammed I'll get a b on the back of the wall, I'll get a q on the other one, and I'll get a w on the wall, and then no one's allowed to sit those chairs unless unless you guys are -- Wow. -- that's a fucking awesome idea. And and when ants come visit, they won't sit you know, they're gonna try and sit in the chairs, get a picture taken. I'm gonna if If they do they do ask to sit in your chair -- Yeah. -- I'm gonna let them. I'm just gonna Yeah. I had a feeling they didn't sit there. So so now how is it gonna work? Do you know? It's like, are you gonna be stationed there? Just get it, like, who's working the general store? I think it's probably not getting ripped off. And this is a cash only business. Right? No. We don't have to report. The new TSD general store is going to have like an open door So people could just wander into it, you know, while they're looking in stash. Mhmm. So if somebody wanders into the back room, you know, I'm I'm sure that get 'em, I, or Mike, or Sunday -- Yeah. -- will notice it, 467, and if if 'em wants an item -- Mhmm. -- they'll ask any of the of the clerks that are that are working that day and be like, hey, I'd like to get AAT shirt. I'd like to get a skull. I'd like to get a hat. Yeah. The skull. I'd like to get a second skull. And then they'll ring it up at our, we have a little they'll Bry it up. We have a little counter. We have our own little counter it's it's like, what was the, the name was We have our own little counter. It's like, what was the the name of was it Driscoll's in the green in green acres, the the little the general store. It's it's like the it's like an old 467, like, green acres -- Mhmm. -- petticoat Junction store. I can't wait to see can't wait to see it. Yeah. I see it as like a in Macy's how they have little sub stores with like a Tommy Bahama store within see it as, like, in Macy's, how they have little subs doors with a Tommy Bahama store within So Bry. Right. Right. Mhmm. Wow. So do you have any intention of ever working the So do you have any intention of ever working in the counter. Maybe we'll do, like, days where you and I going and work. Oh, that's what I want to bring it. The only thing I'm excited about is this idea I had for the new The only thing I'm excited about -- Yeah. -- is this idea I had. For the new store. Okay. I wanna plant this out to you guys. Once a month -- Uh-huh. -- once already know. But okay. I don't know. I think we're gonna love this. I think we're gonna love this. What's a month? It's a month. Okay. We're gonna have well, with your guys' approval, I would like to throw tell 'em Steve Davetown residence day. Okay. So, like, let's say, for example, March fourteenth is Frank five Day, and Thomas D. V afton, and he comes down and we have a celebration. We announce it. Uh-huh. He's gonna be that stash all day long that day, you know, for meet and greets -- Right. -- photos. And we have a Frank five day. I get balloons with his face on it. I get a banner and it says for 467. Right. Right. We film it and so we also make a Patreon episode out of it. Yeah. We also -- Double dip. Yeah. -- double dip on this moment. Yeah. I think we can do everybody. I think we can do -- Oh, sure. -- 467 Laddando day, joy day. Obviously, Sunday, Jeff. You may have a whole week. That's called Sunday, you know. But everybody who's anybody, Sargell eighteen. Oh, he's already in. already asked him who you know. Great. He he is super excited about it. But everybody in Tom Steep, Cape Town, Maxwell -- Mhmm. -- 467 in from Tennessee. Alright. You know, his day is, you know, once a month, we have a day at of it's awesome. Don't don't think that's a good idea? think it's a great idea. I just I'm like You thought it involved you. Yeah. never want to be going there twice. Well, talk to you. Here's my pitch to you guys. Yeah. I need you this is such a great idea. In October -- Yeah. -- we have the three Baron Day. Okay. And we're in our Baron Customs, White Baron, Gold Baron, black. Yeah. All day long at the Stash one day. You don't wanna do, like, an hour? You just wanna do all day. Okay. Because it's the line's gonna be out a fucking down Bry street. Yeah. The three barons. It's the only chance in your lifetime to meet all three barons at once. Yeah. What you think I I'm in. I don't think I have any questions. You are. Alright. Can I can you get can I get an hour and a half out of you that day? I thought I'd It's it's I could do I mean, what's a day? Eight hours? No. We'll always have 467 five hour day. Five hour old time. Oh, so I'm gonna do five hours? Five hours is the white baron in October -- Yeah. -- for Halloween. We would do it. I mean, a pandemic approval, you know, you know. Look the pandemic. It's the three barons. And the one deal in the masks off the tip, but you should shit. You're gonna be damned. But by October, that's why I wanna do it in October, three months. I feel we can't do it in October, I'll do it in October. You know how fucking killer that would be all the barren balloons, all the colors? Yeah. A barren banner? Yeah. We'll have a special merch made for just for the that. That's what our faces on what our 467 on and blue until yeah. What you Yeah. I I love it. I believe these are going to be the events -- Yeah. -- of twenty twenty one. Okay. I read to it. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's gonna be awesome. Speaking of events of twenty twenty one, the big show in June. I have some good news and best news. In June, you have the eleventh anniversary show. Okay. Here's the bad news. Everyone's gonna be disappointed by what I'm about to say. The good news is except for one person. That's off. Yeah. It has to be off. We have to call it off. They're just the 'em is like, I just don't see it happening by June. And So not only that, but if they open with fifty percent of the air capacity, it's not gonna make any money. Yeah. Like yeah. We we If we opened If we opened it to fifty percent because we figured it out, we would lose a tremendous amount of money. Yeah. Because it the tickets are priced right so we could, like, breakeven and everybody could afford it and shit it. You know? But I don't know that. We're doing this with with our live shows right now. I'm just like, I I don't see I I'm not comfortable telling people to come together. You know what I mean? In in a in an area like that. So I figured maybe that that bell works that Kevin did the show at. Right. That that mange yeah, the driveway. Oh, okay. That mange is kinda I thought maybe a space monkeys over there. Yeah. When he warms up a little bit, I would like to, man. But the thing is, like, if we're gathering all the ants together, if we're doing like a four called demons rally or whatever, it's like, you wanna be able to like, hang out. Mhmm. Just be concerned about not being able to like, I wouldn't wanna do, like, 467 like, if we did something like that, I wouldn't wanna do the it's like we get up on stage. We do the show, we wave, and then we get in the car and drive off. You want to be involved a little 467 you wanna be involved a little bit. Right. I don't I just hope we're wieners that gonna happen? When's that gonna happen? That's what I worry about. So, yes, everybody. I'm sorry. It was with I'm very morose about it. Well, we'll make like I said, like, we're gonna have now, like, these once a month, like, events, you know? 'em I'm -- Yeah. -- hopefully, you know, if you guys are up for it, you 'em down. I mean, I'm sure you'll come down. I don't know 467. five day, but I'd love to. Maybe you just zoom in, you know? Yeah. Come around, not come down. I'm not gonna not come down if I'm here. Yes. Okay. I didn't know if you would be a little bit, you know, like, nervous about. You know, we'll we'll we'll make sure only, you know, like like two people at a time could come into the room. You know, we'll adhere to all the protocols. Has met for you. Mhmm. It'll be it is gonna be awesome now. Like, these little mini celebrations -- Yeah. -- like, you know, maybe we'll have parade in the backlog. By the dumpster. Yeah. I like it little marching band. It's in this parade. It's just a it's just a parade celebrating with Frank five. Okay. Yeah. Fleets. That would be amazing. Yeah. Ticker tape a take a take a break from Frank five. Though. You know, it's just That's now we're talking. I like to celebrate. 467 to Frank five, you know, something for everybody. Yeah. Like every month, we're holding periods. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I got I got here in your permits. I got a marching band on retainer. Get 'em a trumpet. What do we got here? What do we got stuff to talk about? Oh, I had to ask you well, have you happened to drive by Popeyes in Union Beach? I have my jaw having to be picked up off the fucking floor of the car every time as I'm like, how the fuck is there a three hour wait to, to drive a drive through on Popeye's in union have. Where is my jaw having to be picked up off the fucking floor of the car every time as I'm like, How the fuck is there a three hour wait to drive a drive thru and popeyes in Union Beach? When you can drive twenty minutes, to another Popeyes that has been open for over a couple years. Yeah. I I didn't get it either. It's on the highway. Like if you're coming down 36 new Popeye's a new that they just if you're coming down thirty six, there's no Popeyes. A new popeyes that they just built, and I drove by the first day. The line was all the way down the highway. I drove by two weeks later. Same I don't like it. First off, the chicken is not that good. You know, it's too spicy. I never had never had it. Yeah. Yeah. No. don't like it. It's too sad. Are you the 467 fan? I have never even eaten at have never even eaten that Popeyes spicy. I've heard that I won't like it. People have told me that it's too spicy for me. Yeah. I don't think you would like it either. I read an interesting article about real estate in Manhattan. Mhmm. And they were, They were like it's and there was this guy and it was pretty candid it's and there was this guy, and he was pretty candid article. I and he was, like, you know how you could tell that the markets are really shitty right now. He goes, the only everybody's moving out. He goes, the only people that are opening more locations in Manhattan are popeyes. Really? He's like because when it's like kind of that fast food thing's always in like bad neighborhoods and shit like that. That's it's like so Popeyes is just opening up. They're the only ones opening up new locations. That's how that's how fucking bad things are in there. I got a feeling our new fucking celebration days -- Mhmm. -- are gonna 467 challenge Popeyes lines. I would like to see that. Yeah. Sure. Because he can't I I can't get it anywhere can't get it anywhere else. Popeyes, you could get down there. You think it's true. Twenty minutes away or thirty seconds. Just to tell 'em Steve Dave Town residents. Mhmm. Full access. Right. You could talk because you wanna talk Frank five zero after an hour. Yeah. Get him Steve Veeveday. Mhmm. I get him Steve Day Day at the at the Stash. Yes. At the time. Where he celebrated. Where he celebrated balloons with his face on it. You gotta come in on your day 467, though. It can't be a day away. Yeah. We'll get eight by tens of get 'em and he could sign them. You know, we came away for free, anybody who shows up. I like it. This I'm telling you, mean, it is gonna be a celebration every month in that place. It's something I look forward to. That's a That's a problem these days. There's nothing to look forward to. Yeah. hear that, brother. You know? You can't schedule anything. You can't really schedule a trip. You can't schedule. Like, I'm gonna go to LA or I think I'm gonna go to LA in a month, but then they're talking quarantines and lockdowns. Alaris did get the the I saw him boasting on Instagram. He got the the team. Yeah. Really? Mhmm. I can't wait to take that thing. No. The all the FDNY guys were refusing it. I saw, Oh I saw Oh, were they? Yeah. 467 heads. Yeah. They're not surprising to you. You know, it's not surprising that some of them wouldn't, but I don't know. Actually a lot of I I say boneheads, but a lot of people that I know and respect it, like, hey, I'm not taking It Certainly. don't know. I read that the Pfizer one, like, twenty three people died and not this country. It was, like, Sweden or Yeah. Norway. Yeah. Somewhere. don't know. That's all it said. That was just the impact. I mean, isn't that every vaccine. Right? It has some sort of It's gonna have some some collateral damage. Yeah. I went to speaking of the city. I was in the city. Merry best birthday. We went to the museum of modern art. It was open. Oh, mama. It was open. That's where she wanted to go. They have, like, you have to set an appointment. It's, like, you can go in it. Twelve or two or 467, I guess, they stagger it so people don't run a run up, rub up against each other too much. Now, as an artist. Have you been to Moma? Why do you call Moma? Museum of Modern Art at Just yeah. this some sort of, like, the, what, the hipsters? No. It's all written on the side of building. On the hipster. like Colin misplace the Stash. This is correct. Have I ever been to Momo? Probably. Maybe. I don't know, but I gotta be honest with you. If somebody was like, hey, you wanna go, I'd be like, 467 now. That's gotta be the most boring ass. Dude, let's go to. III can't imagine. I would rather go to the to the history, the natural? Not using the natural history. Yeah. Well, sometimes they have, like, pop culture. Just you gotta, like, time, it's like What's going on? Yeah. You're right. Yeah. They'll have, like, superman shit or 'em. Yeah. But most of the time, it's just fucking penny 467 painting. It's just like a a decent jar with a fucking spoon in it, you're supposed to come all over the place. You're calling an umbrella is fucking walking down a fucking And cobblestone street. Yeah. And you're like, and it's it's designed to make you feel bad. You're like, well, I don't get it. Why does everyone else get everyone else get it? Like, this is a picture that this is something that was on the wall. Okay? It's just a red canvas. It's a fucking red to It's a fucking red picture so he could show it to the wieners. Okay. It's a it's a throw to it. It's a fucking red canvas. And I'm like It's not dived her down 467 an hailing 'em. At least that would have been sort mental. Yeah. No. It was a red canvas, and there were a couple others that were, like, similar. Like, one was then there was, like, this rope thing. It was, like, basically, it looked like a checkerboard of ropes, but then the lower ropes were were sagging. They weren't, like, symmetrical and that was meant to show the fucking chaos of life for some bullshit, and I'm like, 467 fuck off. Oh my my god. You wanna see this? Tell me if you can even fucking find the art in this. This is the corner of the fucking of your room. I have four of those in my house. Alright. Did an artist come in and make them? No. They're just, like, cones that touch the ceiling? It's yeah. I thought it was part of the wall until I read, like, there's, you know, the little the little thing. The the little description. Does your wife have to walk around telling you to stop critiquing everything? Stop saying everything's boring? Stop saying every or or do you paintings can't be gay, Brian? Is it a constant like or like, you know, battle to 467 for you to keep your mouth shut and just pretend that you're like you get it or at least you're quiet enough for her to enjoy it while she's there. Can can hide the resentment you have a little there are there are certain ones where I'm just like like the Salvador dolly stuff. Like the surrealist 467, like the surrealist shit. I like that. Seeing Starry Night, you know, Van Gogh's Starry Night in real life, I'm like, that's weird. Like, it's something that I never thought I'd see. But a majority of it, I would just look at it. I'd be like, fucking come on. Okay. Like, you gotta be kidding me. So scam. Yeah. But there's somebody there being like, yeah. It's alright. Dude, I like, I I texted you earlier. I saw yourself portrait. Oh, yeah. yeah. That was better than half the shit I saw in the goddamn was better than half the shit I saw in the goddamn museum. Yeah. That's a sad thing because I agree. Yeah. Yeah. Spoke to me. There was What are you talking about? On a dinner party, we had to do self portraits. Oh, I did. We had the painting. We had to really do it. So I did So I did it I took a a real shot at it, but I didn't do my face. I did, like, this conceptual thing. And Mariano Rivera picked it out of the he said it was the best out of all 467. So that's that's a picture though. It's an athlete though. Right? It's great at what he does. I mean, like, I mean, yeah, if it was somebody like Alex Ross -- Yeah. -- maybe To be honest, taking away Walt, taking away anybody that looked at the 467 of our paying things would probably be a one year. Although Garos, I liked Garos a lot. Garos was 467. Yeah. I thought Salos was kinda funny too. Yeah. But But this this 'em, I'm like, I don't know. Like, we only got through half of it too. it. I was there for two and a half hours and inside I was praying that she would just be like, all right, we can was there for two and a half hours. And inside, I was praying that she would just be like, alright, we can go. And eventually, she did budget, and then she's like, we can come back another time to see the rest. Like, oh god damn man. That day you'll never come. That's what I'm hoping because we don't really go to the city that much, and it was empty man. I mean, there is no. The museum yeah. I mean, the museum was empty, but I'm talking about the streets. Yeah. Like, you can't go in and out of Manhattan with no traffic ever. No. This is this is what I'm doing. Like, the last couple times I've gone in, it's like nothing. Like, right through the tunnel and everything. Nobody's going in, man. We're just going in. It's not though as bad as everybody's saying it is, you think? Like, I I mean, III go to parts of the city now and it just seems like it used to be. I haven't really seen Well, we were up on it's up on fifty third, but we did I drove through Times Square. Yeah. And holy shit. It's like this is a ghost town 'em to what it would normally be. Yeah. And if you they said if you go behind Macy's and Herald Square, like, that's where all the heroin action has taken place. That's where basically everyone's just started camping out, said no way you can do That's where basically everyone's just started camping out. Mhmm. Said, no, we can do. Nothing. None of them. Nothing you can do. I've also been to the museum of torture, museum of death with Tod. 'em awesome. Tod was laughing like a maniac at people getting hit by trains and some people around and were pissed. 'em sewed. I mean, last year we went to Tampa for her mean, last year we went to Tampa for her birthday. That was lot more fun. And I made it a lot warmer. You think about like, I always feel because I bought a bunch of photography books when I was getting 467 and stuff like, like a comic book. Mhmm. You open it. That's odd. Oh, yeah. Tell me about it. Yeah. You know what the art that Yeah. Yeah. That speaks to us. But I bought a book of, like, I bought a bunch of photo books like five and six of them and I open them up and I'm like, anybody could have taken this. Anybody could have taken the picture? Anybody could have taken it. Any you know what I mean? Like, I bought a what's his name? Dennis Hopper had a book of Polaroid. I was like, oh, I gotta see what polaroids in this hopper took. I opened it up. I was like, it's a it's a spoon. It's like it's like a car in the middle of a road. I'm like, anybody could have taken these Yeah. It's all scam, man. I like the dirty seventies polaroids. Yeah. Yeah. 467 herself. Yeah. Like gritty and shit, you know. Yeah. Yeah. But there weren't even any interesting ones in there. And that's boons. People are all about, like, the light and I know there's a ton of artists and photographers being like these ignorant ducks. So what does that sound about? As they should. Well, I'm I'm here to tell you, I don't get it. I I just, like, I look at it and I'm like, it's not for me. And some of the shit I'm telling her, I'm going, I could do that. I could do that. I could do better than that. And she's like, sure. Okay? Doesn't really say much. She just goes on and looks at the next thing. She just goes on and enjoys the artwork for what it is. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Not something I ever would choose. I don't know. I don't have to do for a birthday. Well, you you forwarded something along that speaking of art. There's a I feel it is a giant penis, not art. Did you sort of look at that link that I saw? I saw the the picture. I didn't get into Yeah. This this was sent to me by Tom Milozowski from the Sunday Jeff Show. Who's Who's this? Who's penis alert on his in Google. Oh, I thought he was fucking with me when he sent me this I thought he was fucking with me when he sent me the story, but and I asked him. I was like, are you Are you sure this is a real story? And he goes, yeah. I checked it out. It's real. And it's AAA children's show in Denmark, about a man with a elongated, I mean, super ridiculously long Looks like a rope. That can that uses his penis to save people and he can do tricks. It's It's almost like like doctor Octopus one one arm. Got it from his penis. And this is a children's show. And it's weird. Why why did they allow that? Why what's going on in Denmark? You never hear about Denmark. Ever And you never hear anything about Denmark. Where is it? I don't even know where to find this. Yeah. It's it's over in Europe. It's like around an sound like Sweden and Yeah. It's a bit more weather. Northern, like, the 467, the fajors, the 467. Yeah. I mean, it was the Denmark fucking travel counts. We're like, we gotta get on a mat, man. We gotta do something to get people to notice us. How about a we do a children show about a fucking man with a magic? Yeah. So, like, Holland has wooden shoes. How about when we get a giant 467? But how could they not think it's not gonna lead to kids pulling out their penis like it's some magical toy. Well, that's one of the In the, in the article it said like, one of the episodes is that this, this guy I guess, was a simpleton long penis and he's always making in the article, it said like one of the episodes is that this this guy, I guess, is a simpleton. Long penis. And he's always making mistakes. And one of his mistakes was that he keeps pulling his penis out. And he has to be told, you can't pull your penis out in public. Why is this? I think of it. Do Do you remember when the cartoons were two robots fighting each remember when the cartoons or two robots fighting each other? Like, do you remember when it was just that was a fucking GI Joe fight? No one fucking on fucking lasers. They never did each other. Like, Vulture on, they were like forming arms and legs and shit. What is going on? Well, they said to, like, in the era of the Me Too movement, like, you should not be celebrating a penis that can do fucking magical tricks. I mean, no matter how true it is. Yeah. But yeah. But it says here, like, the show depicts a man who is pulsive and not always in control who makes mistakes like kids do, but he's an adult. He takes responsibility for his actions when a woman that a show tells he should keep his penis and his pants 467 instance, he listens, which is nice. He is accountable. Yeah. But it's like in that moment, like that's not the way the world it's, like, in that moment, like, that's not the way the world works. Yeah. That woman shouldn't be in position to tell him to keep penis in his pants. And he's like, oh, okay. No. I know. Yeah. Owen, he's a fucking hero because he was a dick back in his pants. I've got a woman on the streets all of my way. Everybody who who witnessed someone rip their penis out of their pants would just be like, oh, I didn't know and put it back in. Everybody's like, okay, let's move there, but he's like, okay. Let's move on. Valuable lesson lesson learned. You would it's insane. If this is true and I'm not sure it's still true. But apparently, there's a clip that we can run during this that Tom said he saw on YouTube as well. But society How could it affect adversely children? You you think? Well, I think you give me definitely a kid's pulling their dick out. I'll find out their dick. Really. 467 sure. Of course. Like, you're gonna you're gonna see little kids pulling theirs out to see if they can do magic. Yeah. Assuming It would do do magic. Well, it says, what kind of culture are we creating for our children if it's okay for them to see perfect bodies on Instagram enhanced digitally or cosmetically but not real bodies? But this But that's not real news. This is So have a story about a 467 guy having funny adventure, but you're a dick guy to do anything. And by the way, talk about a fucking how those kids gonna feel with normal penances. They're gonna have a they're all gonna have syndromes. They're gonna think they have small dicks. You think that's not gonna affect their confidence going 467. That's how you get serial killers. Mhmm. Let me tell you it does. Yeah. But if you're talking about the copycat you're talking about the copycat syndrome, Yeah. But I always was resentful about, you know, about adults, but when I was growing up being, like, we can't have the human torch on a fantastic a fantastic four car too. We have to have herbeat robot because his kids will touse themselves and gasoline and stuff like that. That is ridiculous. Right. So why is it ridiculous? Because the dick is right there. I I'm not going to the store and and buying flammable fluids, bring it home, somehow my mother doesn't see it. I pull it all over 467 and find myself and find it to be the one of the lamest superheroes there is anyway, the human torch. It's like, that's that sounds weird to me as opposed to my dicks right here. That guy's doing magic trick for his dicks. There's no barrier. Is there just, should we just have the other side of the coin and just have a show, a children's show about a girl whose cavernous vagina, vagina does there just a should we just have the other side of the coin and just have a show, a children show about a girl whose ravenous vagina? The vagina does magic. Well, it's funny to mention that because in here they say it could have just as easily been that. I don't know why wasn't, but But why not, though? Why not just have, you know See, teach these kids are old. No. No. Girls, vagina is a magic. Well, I mean, what the copyright laws because maybe a Patreon video or I get we get Harris. What is this too? What what is the the the giant vagina is? It already does everything that it does, which is pretty 'em. Like, so It gives birth. It gives a nice thing. Right. Only metaphorically, you know, use it as a trap. Yeah. But that's the downside of that's the downside of it. Right. You know, trap somebody -- Smokin'? -- you know, it's tuna. Right. Yeah. Too much tuna. Better than tuna bitch. But what do you think Like, how would you feel? Like, I mean, in all seriousness, like, try not to to how how awful is it that, like, kids are being now exposed to something like this. Like, look, think it back to, like, how 467 that would feel -- Yeah. -- watching out. Watch out. Watch out. Watch out. Watch out. It's off How can you sell toys based on this? It's Denmark, man. They're fucking free wheeling. I don't know. They don't care. It's I don't have kids. So, generally, the stuff like this doesn't usually hit on my radar, but that is that sounds really awesome. Really sexualizing them early on. Yeah. I mean, that's what people that's what people think though. Like, what's your name busy 467 came out with her daughter and she's like, she's gay. It's like, she's ten years old. Like, first off, why do you have to announce your kid's sexuality? No matter who you are. But on top of it, it's like, why is it so important all this sex shit with kids. It's weird, I think, because it's not something that happened with us. No. No. But Denmark has got to have, like, some much more advanced thoughts. That sounds advanced too. Well, I'm talking about in terms of, like, you know, they they must not feel it's your deal? You wanna catch up with a new Yeah. I mean, like, they're, like, thinking, like, know, like, maybe a hundred years in the future, you know, of right now because I'm like, this is too way too fucking radical for me. I don't think you could I don't think you could get that to fly in the United States. Hell no. No. No. It would not it wouldn't even get past pitch. Oh, shit. Could you make your best shit? Get Sydney on the 467? Yeah. The American version. Yeah. Well, first off, the biggest bullshit is the guy's white. Always see a big old It felt like What? A giant all Octopussy giant a octopus y dick. Mhmm. Yeah. I wonder how it gets hard because I'm sure the same sure the same way. All penises can interact. Like Like blue chew. All right. Thankfully, this episode is sponsored by Bluetooth 467, this episode is sponsored by blue chew. guys. Do you remember the days when you were always ready to you remember the days when you're always ready to go? Now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed, bed. Listen up listen up bluetooth.com. 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Like, you know, your, your, your Dick is not, it's not, How would she know that it wasn't performing or wasn't saluting at its highest you know, your your your dick is not it's not 467 right. Know that it wasn't performing or wasn't saluting at its highest mast? Well, if it's like halfway or a semi, she can if it's, like, halfway or 'em, she can tell Yeah. I'll tell you how girls should do 467 I tell you how girls could do that. I'll tell you I'm gonna help the ladies tell you, I'm gonna help the ladies out. I'm going to help I'm gonna help Dispenses. Sprinkle it into the ice out. You say, you say to the guy you say to your boyfriend, he's just be like, look, I want to try You say you say to the guy you say to your 467, you just be like, look, I wanna try this. this. I heard that when women try this, it makes them I heard that when women try this, it makes them crazy. Like it feels it feels weird. It's fine. Yeah. She's like, or makes 467 orgasm. So could you do me a favor, 'em. So could you do me a favor, honey? Could you go on and get it? We'll both take it one night. We'll see how it feels then you, so then you got We'll see how it feels. Then you you so but you it. You're not going to like, if you're a guy and you, and you get that conversation, you're not gonna do a little bit of investigation and be like, this sounds a lot like Spanish not gonna like, if you're a guy and you and you get that conversation, you're not gonna do a little bit of investigation and be like, this sounds a lot like Spanish fly. I don't, I don't think Spanish is 467. I don't I don't think Spanish fly is real. No. Bluetooth. If they looked up a Bluetooth, was she saying If they looked up with Bluetooth, what she's saying Viagara? I'm sure saying the same 'em? sure. But if she's saying this thing thing. Springs brings me this. If I take this too too. I think if women do take it, it, it actually does enhance I think if women do take it, it it it actually does. It it it actually does. Oh, it's this. They're not saying, we're not saying we should say that because I don't know if that's women, I'm saying, if women want their guy to do it, this is, this is what you put in place to do not saying that. They're not saying that. We should say that because I don't know if that's I'm really suggesting that women 'em saying if women want they're gonna do it, this is this is what you put in place to do it. They take a Placebo, the ladies That dude's the real blue they take a placebo, the ladies. Yeah. But the the the the real blue shirt. Sure. And then you got a nice hard, you know, nd ladies just fucking go then you got nice hard, you know, that lady's just fucking go off like it's the best thing ever. Give him give him that, like But let me show you confidence. 'em Yeah. Put up, put on a fucking up put on a fucking parade. Like Dempsey day puts out a Chelsea Day place on parade. Yes. Ordering that food and wonder that that food cats. 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No amount of Of Bluetooth is going to get that fucking blue chu's gonna get that fucking ropey guy's dick card. Yeah. You need a lot of blue chew on that one, but what else do we go a lot of blue chill on that one. What else do we got today? No. I got any Oh, New Years, man. What different new years. Oh, god. It's been a long time. It's felt so fucking silly to do anything It's felt so fucking so weak. Right? No. Did you want anything fun more? I was I was as the ball dropped, I was having a a texting 467 five. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Because our our ladies were sleeping. You guys, I should oh, really? Yeah. Absolutely. Actually, I just he just text me. He got you go you up. And I was like, yeah. Watch watch my food. I'll get me too. It doesn't -- when you get to certain age, New Year's is absolutely meaningless. But when was the last time it did mean something to you? Like, did it ever? 467 me never. Yeah. Like, I never went into the city. Like, the city always looked like a nightmare. To go to What's the ball drop now? Only the mayor and his fucking wife dancing around this fucking guy. You stayed home, I'm assuming, cute. Yeah. But that that was that was gonna happen. usually 'em do show on the news. Usually my new years have spent the last five years, I think, have been We do a show New Year's Eve that night. We get off stage around ten, and then wherever we are, we usually go somewhere together and and like like if like if we're at a Mongolian sun -- Yeah. -- we'll get a room in the estate house and we'll just sit back there and hang out with our boys and just drink. It's it's usually a fun year. This year, I just I stayed home. I watched Dick Clark. I watched you guys are texting me that watched Yes. You guys were texting me that too. Oh, yeah. You you got It was awesome. So at at at when Dick Clark started it in nineteen eighty five, I started it now and and then I watched Dick Clark until the end. Really? Then I would switch you over because, you know, they're not always the most exciting thing. And and I caught some of that. What's the one with the the 467 one? I didn't see Jamie Kennedy. Yeah. It wasn't I didn't see Jamie Kennedy. I saw Joel McHale and hold that I saw Joel Macail. Oh, that one. Yeah. Yeah. And I was, like, oh, Jamie Kennedy, do his years ago. I thought so too. We were talking about, for talking about. Yeah. The one with Joel McKell and Ken Jones -- Yeah. -- the 'em. Holy shit. I was like, wow. These guys are fucking drunk. I don't even know that they knew they were doing a show. Well, least Ken Gianna at the end He he looked he appeared to be wasted. And I've been wasted on stage. I, the last time I was drunk, I was, Let's know. I was drunk. I was as drunk Is that guy on that guy on stage. I was like, I'm not doing anymore. I can't drink like that on stage anymore. It was crazy that show. Yeah. He it it was weird because it was so much like dead air and the they're talking to people who recorded shit long before this. Oh, they're trying to fake it? Yeah. They were trying to fake it. Some of it. And then they were talking to some talking to some football player for the longest and the conversations are so awkward and it's like it's making that that zoom sound like that electronic y like zoom sound. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I tell you who? Kelly Kelly Osborne. Kelly Osborne. I thought she came off really well. She was like dopey and like 467 fun and stuff like that 467 what you had to work with. Yeah. I thought they didn't get I mean, I just assume everybody on those shows are drunk or high. Right? there. They gotta be on something, something loose, you to be on 'em. They got to be on something. It was good to see. What's a Cindy Lopper? I didn't see that show. You didn't watch it. No. Not a didn't I guess I was watching. I was really into Dick Clark. Yeah. Yeah. They had some fun. I can't remember them right now, but they had some fun acts and stuff like that. It was good. When the ball dropped, we were I was at Troy's. You know? Yeah. Troy's every year. And the we're watching ABC at the time, and they were a minute 467. No. Yeah. I looked it up and the only person I I saw them to mention it also was Travis from the Jim and Sam show. But 'em looking at my phone and it says midnight, and that's exactly when they started the countdown. So ABC was a minute off. Heads roll. Mhmm. Try to make twenty twenty a minute longer. A fuck man get out of there. Mhmm. Shit. That was Joyce. That was fine. Yeah. It was very very quiet. Because usually, they have so many people there, but this year it was just us and then one other couple. And then you know some of the kids' friends and shit. Mhmm. To, you know, eat food, drink booze. Lots of crummy cheese. It's a fucking weird year. How are you? And what's to do anyway? There's nothing to do. Although, that's what I would've done anyway. I like that's what I like. Yeah. There probably would've been more people there though would've been more of a party and shit. Yeah. I guess so. 467 it. We can do. There's nothing you can do. I'm on my fucking fourth bird feeder man up my yard, so I'm all set for this new year. I'm good to go. learned Texas with him. He's learned the cardinals. Yeah. He should not have been excited about all those cardinals. Yeah. They're fucking assholes, man. They're aggressive. Right? They really like if another bird's on there, they'll get pissed, they'll come over and just, like, scream with them till they leave and then just start furiously eating. And, like, looking around to see 467 anybody is coming. Like, they're really kind of dickhead's cargoes. I'm learning. Is there is there is there is a favorite bird replace them? I mean, they're still the best looking ones. So I'm there, but I've always been a chicken y guy 467. But there's this thing. So Helen got me for for Christmas. She got This really nice birdhouse. It looks like a like a house. It's big. It's made of metal and stuff. It's kind of 467 that opens up and you fill the whole thing in. And it's supposed to be squirrel proof 467, like, when they step on the bars, it closes a feeding trap. So the weight of the squirrel will close the feeding trap. Right? Mhmm. Great. This is not fill it up. Put it out there. Oh, my cardinals are gonna love this shit. I get it out there. I've seen squirrels. They get frustrated. They can't open it. I'm getting super excited. I'm like, this is sweet. I'm gonna feed my birds and only my birds. Right? Why don't you wanna feed the squirrels? I do wanna feed the squirrels, but have separate Gotcha. Things for them to do that because the days scare the birds away. Then the birds don't then the birds don't eat. Mhmm. So I try to put out food in different places. Trying to be doc do little here. A little bit just with squirrels and birds. Mhmm. So now, if I can get up in the morning, I make my iced tea, that's what I have in the morning my tea. And I go to a window to look at my bird house and the fucking squirrels managed to get the roof open and they're, they they're in and I go to window to look at my birdhouse. And the fucking squirrels managed to get the roof open, and they're they're in it. They just crawled into the birdhouse, and they just sitting there chewing feet. And then there's like fake windows in the bird 467. And there's there's like fake windows in the bird's house, and I see them looking at me. Through the through the windows, like, see if I'm and out to, like, close it on 'em and shit like that. It's just no beating these. Fuck. They're fucking crafty, aren't they? It's unbelievable, man. There's nothing I can do that 'em at home. He's got a he's got a tail cut off. I think a cat got on when young. He he gets in everything, man. He's just fucking smart. Would you consider putting some chicken coops on your on your land and and raising chickens. I mean, it seems like you really enjoy this. I mean, really getting your hands dirty and really We 'em a good porter again. 467 chickens in his yard now. The fuck. But I mean, this is really happening to him. This on my on my on my raises chickens and dogs. Like, this is how you're really connecting. How you're like, you know, you can really 'em, like, vital to their to their survive cool then? I would what I would do is I would let some of the Staten Island turkeys I would create favorable conditions for the turkeys to live in my own turkey house. Like a like a hen? Yeah. But not something I have to clean. It's gotta be something that's higher somebody for that. Yeah. And I got 'em on your property cleaning out turkey shit. I like it a shit little better. Think about man. Think about, like I mean, that's really interactive. Then then it becomes work though. It, then it becomes a then it becomes a job. Well, you could have a turkey 'em, like, inside the house. Wait a minute. I just I don't want it to become work. It's gotta be just because then you'll see the the wieners, the inner workings of the turquoise life. Because they have you ever seen the turquoise ever? No. Well, this is the only way you're gonna get it to see it. Yeah. I don't really care Yeah. I don't really care. So you just wanna It's crazy. I heard it's worth watching. I heard it's worth watching. Yeah. rip apart. His camera set as camera set up. No. Good man. Are they mean the turkeys? Because they're notoriously like unfriendly. Right? They're not not friendly. Yeah. They'll they'll they are. Like, we have these Turkey on Staten Island that are I think I've talked about it 467, like, there there there are two different type of species. Three, there's special Staten Island species of Turkey. Some of them are really 'em of them are really nice. Like, the females when they have their their birds and stuff, they're in the neighborhood. Yeah. I'll feed them and they'll come nice and 467. What's 'em? You don't like peanuts? What? Because they're known for, they always have like roosters, Yeah. They always have, like, roosters in the yards and shit. Sage has one. It's fucking drives me crazy. Do we know any Puerto Rico we can call them? I never heard that. Oh, yeah. They they always have, like, live stuck. Like, America and San Julio had a goat in his yard and shit. They loved keeping, like, they loved domesticated and those kinda holes. A show from the seventies. And a different kind of animal. I don't know. There's a couple of Mexican guys here. Do you guys have any wildlife like any domesticated livestock? No. Nothing. There's a There was a house for the longest time bef you know, pre Sandy that had chickens in the yard and I couldn't believe how many chickens they had a house for the longest time be, you know, pretty sandy that had chickens in the yard. And I couldn't believe how many chickens I had right in Port Mama to drive by it. Just to see him with all the chickens out in the yard and we could hear them in the morning. There there was that one reason I guess who who would cock. Yeah. He would literally would just like a cartoon. He would crow in the morning. Yeah. Like, just sound just like a cartoon from, like, bugs bunny or something. And their reporter again, the No. No. No. I don't know what they were to be honest with you. I never saw the the people who own the house, but Sandy washed it all the way. All the chickens? Well, all the all the hand houses it was -- Oh, right. -- gone. You know you know, and I don't think they ever ever rebuilt. Rebuilt. in Key West, there there's so many tons of chickens down there and should. They'll wake you up in Yeah. You can start selling eggs. You know, it's her. Yext. Oh, let's check it out. If you don't chat 'em 467 chicken. Yeah. You know, I mean, there's that's probably Yeah. It's just all stuff don't wanna do, man. I just wanna see the cartons eat. Go down to the well, you don't like eggs, man. I don't need eggs in. You like bacon, they should raise pigs and slaughter. I don't even eat bacon, but you know. That sounds you. Would you have it in you if 467 you move away or you're living on the compound? You gotta kill an animal? That wouldn't have it in me. Yeah. don't think I would I would be eating grass and shit. If I could 467, you could do it to a fish though. How 'em it doesn't have legs. Right? It's a cute -- can't 467. -- bond with It has crazy eyes. Yeah. No eyes. Yeah. Can't blink. Just stares at you like a serial killer. I look at it. Like, we don't even look like like a like 'em. Like, see something in myself in them. I think it was Patrice O'Neil said something about 467 like, they don't have eyebrows. I think that was his his bit where they don't have eyebrows. And that's what makes them so difficult to identify with where it's like, you know, like a cat or like over especially dog, you know, they have that's what makes them so difficult to identify what it's where it's like, you know, like a cat or like, over a specialty dog, you know. They have expression. They have expression in their face. Right? The 467 always has the same expression shocked. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Like, I can't believe I got caught. They said this is gonna happen. But cats are very similar, I think, too. Like, I don't I don't I rarely see a look of joy on my cat's face. Like, he's either fucking staring at me. Scratch that chin. Scratch the chin. Yeah. Scratch the chin. Scratch the chin. Yeah. Scratch the chin. Scratch the chin. Scratch the chin. Yeah. Scratch the chin. Scratch the chin. Scratch the Yeah. Scugs up against turns upside down and rolls around. Yeah. Sometimes, but their 467 is always the same. Like, once they open their eyes, they're just, like, looking at you. I've come to identify different different looks on my cats. I think there's a mouse in the basement somewhere and it comes up threw this hole in the wall into, like, the mudroom and because we saw the hole in the peanuts that Marybeth gives to the to the squirrels. 467 squirrels. He's fucking fucking peanuts. Like, have you never seen a fucking squirrel before? Every like, she has her own squirrels. She has, she has fucking She has She has fucking Skippy. She has fucking Peanuts. She has fucking Jiffy Pop, Jiff Johnson Junior. Jr. All kinds of squirrels that she feeds all the kinds of squirrels that she feeds all the time. But even if we see squirrels in the She's like, whoa. Whoa. Really? They're so common. So get excited Bry squirrel? No. I was like a mouse in the house though. Oh, the mouse in the house. What? Absolutely make it so I could not make it so I could not relax. Right. Well, it's in the mudroom because I see the little hole but the cat and princess Mitch. That's what I mean. Principal is 467 Phoned as well. Like, which one is it? No. No. We Fred 467 with his glasses. The the cat the other day sat there for two hours -- Mhmm. -- just watching that whole because you can he must she must have been able to hear something in it. And I'm like the patience exhibited by the cat just so it's like, as soon as 467 comes out, I'm gonna kill it. Tell me if this is the appropriate response. After Sandy, we got back into our house probably about a month after Sandy. Mhmm. And had to get all new appliances because the all the appliances in the kitchen were washed, you know, were were destroyed. And the the fridge no. The stove wasn't the the the the the kind of like it's like a stretchy kind of tubing kind of like In gasoline? Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't corked up properly as it was previously. So, like, things could get through that hole. Mhmm. So I walked into the kitchen and I went 467 first night back into the house after being gone for almost like I guess it was six wieners. And I flipped a light on And at the corner of my eye on the on the stove, I saw that tail, that long tail, and it jumped down jump down behind the stove. Oh, sure. Is the appropriate response to feel nauseous and almost throw up? I'd scream for a bevy. Yeah. Because I'm not gonna lie there. I was like I was like, really. I don't know why. Just I've seen mice before. That was a mouse. It wasn't a rat. No. It was it was a mouse. I've been had long tail, though. Right. And I've seen it, like, at the zoo. I've watched them, you know, watched zoo you go to where it's, like, here's the fucking North American mouse. In the Bronx Zoo, you go into the dark house where the bathrooms There's mice in there. yeah. You see mice in there all the time. I could watch their 467 and I feel nausea. Right. But in my house -- Mhmm. I felt like I was gonna vomit and just like my back was all sweaty and like I I had to sit down and I was just like, Hey. You're the mature. But, yeah, like, it like that to me just like is, like, that's I can't even abide by by having a A vermin in the house. It's disgusting. Isn't it? It think about about when I think back to my scene, I could still see it. The the flash and my wife being like, no, you didn't see that. And was like, don't you. Look at my face. I swear to God. I saw that. Get the fluke over there. And then the next day, you know, like, I told her I was like, I swear to God and I we barricaded the bedroom door. Mhmm. You know, we put stuff in front of the door so the mouse couldn't get in. And the next in next morning. I mean, under the door. Right? You know, he's gonna knock the door in? We put up like We put up boxes of comics up against the up boxes of comics up against the door so the mouse couldn't squeeze it. There's a fire that night. Like, how much shit? Long box is a comic term. It's the wall, so they couldn't. The mouse couldn't squeeze Its way in by way in. She Because early in the morning she got up and she went and she went looking around at the cabinets and she saw evidence of a mouse in the morning, she got up and she went and she went looking around the cabinets and she saw evidence of a mouse. 467? She had to 'em back up and apologize and say, yeah, we definitely got a mouse. Is it a, is it annoying when it's just like, I know what I is it annoying when it's just, like, I know it. I saw God damn it. Like, why aren't you telling me in the city because because I'm prone to hysterics. So Especially when it comes to, like, vermin and 'em of house. So was it entirely possible that you didn't see it. I knew I saw it, but, like, she didn't she wasn't she didn't wanna believe it, though. I think a lot of that was, like, no, I don't wanna deal with that too. Right. But we had to have somebody come over and, like, restuff the holes -- Yeah. -- of all the appliances because they didn't realize, you know, that you know, there'd be so much -- Right. -- opportunity for Vermin to squeeze their way in. They were digging. 'em back. I know it's fucking disgusted. I I would kill a mouse. 467 or a rat if necessary. I I could trap Like, when I lived at Pans House, I would like, there was a mouse that would keep getting into the bridge. I don't know how the fuck he did it, but he kept getting into the bridge where couple 467 mics that I would take when I release them in the woods. But a rat, I would I would get my gun out and shoot it. It's just 'em and it probably has rabies. It's probably gonna bite me. Probably not. Probably not. I'd put couple of holes in the floor and the thing would go back into a circle. Oh, I know. Right? Looks like I'm fucking Michael j Fox over here. J. Fox, I'm 467 gonna choose married death in the legs. But when they the they tore up the streets right by a 'em and Iber's house to put in new sewer lines. And I guess, rats live in those pipes. And they would get it. it. They were going into everyone's They were going into everyone's houses. So the 'em Iger had a whole bunch of rats in their houses, and they people have to 'em in and think people have to, like, set poison bait and all this other shit. But what happens is the rats die and then they just run away and the rafters and all these fucking flies like these larvae and shit turn into flies that like they looked like 'em. I'd never seen fucking flies that looked like. This. Even horror. Yeah. Exactly, man. It was fucking disgusting. That is where I was like, damn your gross. But if you get chicken, you don't have to worry about that though. I think it's these cats. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 'em covered. Yeah. That's why I'm not too afraid because the one cat is, like, a good mouser, business Mitch. The other one, like, he lays in bed probably twenty two hours a day. He's on our bed. Just won't move. I it's it's weird. What are they thinking about? How old is he? About seven. Mhmm. What about if I had a Bry terrier? Yep. That'd be alright. Right? They would probably hunt. Mhmm. You think your dogs would hunt? I don't know. All three are up on a chair. You guys got any last guys got any last memories? Anything you wanna know? Anything before where we leave this building for the very last time? Well, I 'em looking forward to the new place. I'd I'd like to leave a blank eye. Let me just interrupt you real fast. Oh. What? What the fuck this phone is listening to me? Suddenly, it's talking about mousetraps. Holy shit. But you didn't realize your phone. Listen to listened you? Oh my god. The thing I've said, the thing I've I mean, you didn't realize that your phone just will will do that? I I've heard it, it. And I know people say it, but I'm just like, I mean, come and I know people say it, but I'm just like I mean, come on. But, like, how does it know? Because it's listening at all times. So, here's all this stuff I say about Mexicans. Oh, no. I don't know. Yeah. Like how like, it's crazy. Right? Yeah. So just If it comes up. Yeah. It's spying on you. That's the that's the price we pay for having these smartphones though. I guess so. I mean, I don't really say anything interesting enough that anybody would care about. But Any, any last, any lasting, like poignant any last any lasting, like, poignant thoughts? I mean, you're usually the guy to go to, like, who has, like, some really eloquent and really sums it up so beautifully yet. I don't really have anything like that. Stash is like a bird house. We like to squirrells within. No, man. I I I've always just had this place so linked with Palms Steve Dave in my heart. And since Palms Steve Dave is just continuing on, I feel like the spirit of everything that we love about this place will still be available to us. It'll just be down the block little bit. Same magical table. That's pretty eloquent. That's really nice. Yeah. The magic the magic can be transported. It's not even transport. It's just it's just it's But you're never worried about that. Like, you know, like, it, like, a new setting, a new environment, you know, maybe we can't recapture the We could like this. We could do this on the desert island. We're we're fucking podcast and magicians. wizards. Yeah, I think Yeah. Right. So Alright. I I mean, I hope so. I we're always worried about I I always worry about that. I always worry at some 'em, There's nothing left to talk about. Yeah. Look at Tom Brady. It's unbelievable. He You just picked up his picked up his act. He moved across a country, and there he is. That's all we're doing. We're gonna stop bringing this shit. We're gonna go down there. And everyone's gonna think that we should've fucking stayed or that our best days are behind. This is going to be like this mother fuckers is still doing gonna like, this motherfuck is still doing it. Tell him Steve, Dave him Steve Dave unless we had another commercial. No.