0:00

Hello, and welcome to

0:00

textual tension. I'm your co

0:03

host, Rachel. And every other

0:03

week, I jump in here before the

0:06

actual show, to give you all of

0:06

the cool, pertinent information

0:09

you might need about what's

0:09

going on on our little universe,

0:12

because I know you really do

0:12

care. I'm aware of that. And you

0:15

know what I live to serve. So

0:15

we'll make this nice and fast

0:20

and get you to the good stuff.

0:20

Hey, did you guys know we have a

0:25

social media? It's true. With a

0:25

lot of them. Actually, we're on

0:28

all the major social media

0:28

platforms at textual tension

0:31

pod. We also have a website at

0:31

textual tension pod.com, a

0:34

TeePublic. If you search for

0:34

textual tension, you'll find

0:37

that there, and at Patreon at

0:37

patreon.com/textual tension. If

0:42

you go over that Patreon, you'll

0:42

find all sorts of cool stuff. We

0:46

have all kinds of neat little

0:46

extra stuff over there. And

0:48

actually, maybe there's an

0:48

announcement coming up in

0:52

regarding it, maybe I'll never

0:52

tell until next episode when I

0:56

do tell you. But things are

0:56

getting real, y'all. And it's

1:00

super exciting. So hey, drop us

1:00

a line, reach out to us all that

1:03

kind of stuff. We like live off

1:03

of your guys book

1:06

recommendations. So if you have

1:06

one, hit us up with it. We want

1:10

to hear about it. Margie or I

1:10

will read it and it'll be a

1:14

blast. And we love to tell you

1:14

about your favorite book, you

1:17

know, because you don't already

1:17

know about it. And hey, you

1:19

know, the biggest reason we like

1:19

to learn from you guys or hear

1:21

from you guys is because we like

1:21

to be friends with you. And

1:24

speaking of friends, because I'm

1:24

a goddamn professional. And that

1:27

was a awesome segue fight me. We

1:27

have a friend that we would like

1:33

to plug to you guys. We think

1:33

you would really love it. Hey,

1:36

you guys should go check out

1:36

cold storage. We have had

1:40

Savannah from cold storage on

1:40

the podcast in the past and we

1:42

do talk about it a lot. But hey,

1:42

y'all, it dropped. They it is

1:47

officially out and guys. It's

1:47

real good. It's so good. Like,

1:52

I'll admit, honestly, I'm not

1:52

usually a audio drama kind of

1:58

person. Y'all. It's good. You

1:58

need to go check it out. If you

2:02

are curious what that is. And

2:02

you might be asking Rachel, what

2:04

is cold storage? Well stick

2:04

around to the end of this

2:08

episode to hear the trailer for

2:08

it. It will play after our outro

2:12

music so stick around for that.

2:12

It'll tell you all about it. And

2:15

it's incredible. Because I can't

2:15

do it justice. So I can tell you

2:20

it is sci fi there's a little

2:20

bit horror in that bad boy and

2:24

it's really good. So go check

2:24

that out. And I think that's it

2:29

actually on my end Gosh, this is

2:29

getting I feel like this is

2:31

getting faster and easier. Hey,

2:31

oh every time um so without

2:35

further ado, here is your

2:35

romance novel wisdom. Guys.

2:37

Condoms are always a good idea.

2:37

No matter what unholy form you

2:40

choose to take that night,

2:40

whether it be Vampire, Werewolf,

2:44

literal team and we've had all

2:44

of those so you know, condoms my

2:48

people remember them. And

2:48

without further ado, let me

2:52

introduce episode 58 Scientology

2:52

fanfiction. tearing me apart

3:03

from

3:09

Hello, and welcome to

3:09

textual tension, a love hate

3:13

relationship with romance

3:13

novels. I am your co host Margie

3:16

and I'm your co host Rachel

3:16

every other week What if as

3:18

reads and summarizes a romance

3:18

novel for the other unsuspecting

3:22

co host this week? It's Rachel

3:22

I'm listening and also Betsy

3:26

Yeah, she's very here

3:27

she is. Allah a gargoyle

3:27

perched on the back of my chair.

3:31

Yeah, but she's been all

3:31

over. She's really living her

3:35

life. And but altogether we

3:35

unpack what the fuck just

3:40

happened. You may notice

3:40

listeners were finally together

3:42

again. So much went into this

3:42

moment. Yes. So much heartache.

3:47

Yes, I know. I was upset. Yeah,

3:47

no, I even Zack was texting me.

3:52

And I was like, Whoa,

3:53

I mean, like, there was

3:53

a quarantine. Margaret joined a

3:56

weird experimental science

3:56

experiment where she got the

4:00

vaccine. Yeah, probably.

4:02

Well, and also like

4:02

wings and Dragon Dragon, which

4:08

is great. It's chill, but like

4:08

unexpected unexpected benefits.

4:12

Thanks. AstraZeneca.

4:14

So now we are sitting in

4:14

the recording cave. Betsy is

4:17

hitting me in the face with her

4:17

tail and we have the fireplace

4:21

going do

4:22

and there's so much

4:22

sexual. What are you doing?

4:24

There's so much sexual did she

4:24

wants so much attention. She's

4:27

unhappy because she doesn't know me put

4:29

her literal asshole on

4:29

my head.

4:31

She did not. I bet

4:31

watching a kiss from the acid.

4:36

Oh, you're gonna get kisses a

4:36

bit more place. Y'all. Okay,

4:40

I'm so excited about

4:40

this because I have no idea what

4:43

Margie and my husband have been

4:43

talking about for the past week.

4:46

But one boy Zach just said,

4:46

well, Marty's figured out my

4:50

cake and I

4:54

discovered some new

4:54

things about sack this week.

4:56

Okay, well,

4:57

I hope I can learn about

4:57

it too as well. So like a little

5:01

bit of before we get

5:01

into this book, I do want to

5:03

shout out. We have a couple of

5:03

people who have sent us books

5:06

that I am going to get to, I

5:06

promise, but I couldn't do it

5:09

this time, just because one of

5:09

them was too long. So ice

5:12

wizard, I promise I'm going to

5:12

get to your um,

5:16

I thought that was the name of the book for a second. Oh, no.

5:19

That's their name. They,

5:19

they they they go by ice wizard.

5:22

I do have your book. I

5:23

am going ice wizard.

5:23

That is a fucking kick ass name.

5:25

I love it.

5:26

It is very cool. And

5:26

Elena, which is every time Elena

5:30

every time I say Elena, I'm

5:30

sorry. I think Vampire Diaries

5:33

and then my big break goes to

5:33

David and then we'll like David

5:36

Salvatore. I'm like, Okay, a

5:36

little bit a whole other place.

5:39

Anyway. I am getting to your

5:39

books, but I couldn't do it this

5:43

time. i They are coming though.

5:43

Anyway, so but I wanted to

5:47

explain how I found this book. I

5:47

was very determined. Uh huh.

5:50

Because I for our Patreon

5:50

listeners over Halloween, you

5:57

know that I did a werewolf one

5:57

for our special episode. But

6:00

that wasn't that was not the

6:00

werewolf book that I had wanted

6:03

to read. Like, I accidentally

6:03

downloaded that one from the

6:07

library because the because I

6:07

thought that I was downloading a

6:10

different one. Yeah, yeah. Your

6:10

face.

6:13

Is this the multiple

6:13

werewolf one.

6:16

It's another multiple

6:16

werewolves. There's more than

6:20

one. So Rachel, I'm gonna pass

6:20

this book to you now.

6:24

Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah,

6:29

yeah.

6:30

Okay, yeah.

6:32

Minaj Amore. Okay, siren

6:32

publishing Jesus. So this book

6:37

is called captive BlackWolf

6:37

gorge number three,

6:43

three, rice, by Gail Stanley.

6:43

And, oh, girl. Oh, okay. So the

6:53

bottom half of this cover? Looks

6:53

to be like, like, ruins or like

7:01

a, like, I'm thinking like

7:01

Turkey and I don't know if New

7:04

Mexico close. That does not look

7:04

like Okay, sure. I was gonna say

7:09

like, ruins of a city in like,

7:09

Turkey or like ancient pose.

7:14

Yeah, but no, no. Okay, if I can

7:14

do Mexico, why not? And then the

7:19

top half is a woman with her

7:19

head, like back like to see?

7:25

Sure. Yeah, that's no, she has

7:25

no emotion on her face. I only

7:30

see half of her head can see

7:30

your mouth, though. And it's

7:32

just flatlined. Yeah. Um, and

7:32

she looks like I'm assuming she

7:36

had a shirt on at one point, but

7:36

it's like, it must have buttoned

7:40

in the back for the way that she

7:40

has it down over her breasts

7:43

right now. Also, there

7:43

is nipple. In that picture.

7:46

There's nipple. There's, I guess

7:46

there's female nipple. There.

7:50

Barely. There's like a tiny bit

7:50

of lip slip.

7:55

Okay, there's some

7:55

areola? Yeah, okay, I was gonna

7:57

say like, it looks like it is

7:57

just barely, like holding your

8:00

arms across your chest to like,

8:00

squeeze them together. Right?

8:04

But also holding a thing over

8:04

Yeah. Okay, there's a little bit

8:07

like yeah, you're right,

8:08

which is more than we've

8:08

ever seen. It's true that female

8:10

a female

8:11

and then standing in

8:11

front of her facing her with his

8:13

head to the side is another dude

8:13

without a shirt on and then

8:16

behind her is a second dude

8:16

without a shirt on. I can only

8:23

assume she's about to get spit roasted

8:29

happens to this bitch. Okay,

8:30

so how bets right now

8:30

listeners on how long are under

8:34

the covers is going to be? Oh

8:34

boy. No, no.

8:38

So here is it I want to

8:38

know that this book on Amazon

8:43

has 14 reviews. And it was given

8:43

two and a half stars. Oh my

8:49

God.

8:50

Is it self pub? No. It

8:50

said siren publishing anyone

8:53

know the worst thing? Well, I've got to tell you guys that later.

8:55

Okay, so so this is

8:55

quite possibly the worst rated

8:59

book. Yeah.

9:00

I have had read worst

9:00

books of pros. However a lot

9:05

wise, it is probably one of the

9:05

worst that we've

9:07

ever run. Oh, yes. Is I

9:07

don't know how I feel about

9:11

this. Oh,

9:11

well, here you go. So

9:15

no, it's not actually

9:15

okay. Oh, okay. I'm just gonna

9:21

go ahead and read the tags at

9:21

the beginning of this. Yeah.

9:25

Minaj Amore. Erotic paranormal.

9:25

Manassa trois romance. MMF M A

9:31

female and shapeshifters. So now

9:31

you know what you're getting

9:34

into listening.

9:35

Now. You know what Zack

9:36

likes? Wow. Which part

9:36

of that?

9:38

He says he just likes it

9:38

if he's as long as he's

9:40

involved.

9:43

Being involved is my

9:43

king. Sad. Okay. When Janice

9:47

dumps her cheating boyfriend,

9:47

her hopes for love and a family

9:51

and along with a romance, and

9:51

her biological clock is sounding

9:55

louder than Big Ben, because you

9:55

can have one man and never

9:58

again. Her sister In last

9:58

snagged both of her twin

10:03

brothers. Okay, how did sable

10:03

catch two gorgeous men? They're

10:08

your brothers. Okay, I would not

10:08

consider I would not refer to my

10:13

siblings as gorgeous but okay

10:13

when she can't hang on to one,

10:18

but her hooks rise when to drop

10:18

dead sexy men walk into her

10:22

office. Too bad they turn out to

10:22

be gay. Like hey, we're getting

10:27

gay here nice like it likens no

10:27

one wait are in Philadelphia on

10:33

a special mission for their

10:33

Alpha. Thank you hopes to

10:40

increase their dwindling

10:40

numbers. The wolf shifters never

10:43

expected to bring a woman into

10:43

their sexual relationship

10:46

especially a human but one night

10:46

in bed with Janice changes

10:51

everything they believe she may

10:51

be their mate. But if they go

10:55

through with their alphas plan

10:55

Janice's family will be

10:58

destroyed along with any chance

10:58

of making her their own. You

11:03

could replace the two of them

11:03

with a single person in this

11:06

entire description and it would

11:06

make sense so I'm kind of

11:10

wondering if this is some weird

11:10

to people to dekes two heads one

11:14

body kind of situation it's are

11:14

they do they have different

11:19

enough personalities that you

11:19

can tell the difference

11:22

between them? No you

11:22

can't you can't tell the

11:24

difference between any of the characters

11:25

this you cannot convince

11:25

me otherwise that they are not a

11:29

horrible conglomerate of

11:32

no liking body cars a

11:32

lot of intersection acrobatics.

11:38

What is happening

11:39

just wait for the

11:39

covers.

11:42

I I am okay listeners.

11:42

Here my initial thoughts on

11:47

this. I'd like to just throw

11:47

this out there we really run the

11:51

gambit on like, quality of

11:51

romance. No, like we do like

11:54

some really serious ones. We do

11:54

some fun silly ones. Right. This

11:58

is so left field Yonkers and I

11:58

am

12:02

it's so here for me

12:02

though. Like I always do. Like I

12:05

tried to find the craziest ones.

12:05

I can't I really work hard.

12:10

Oh god. Yeah. And I

12:10

would also again, like to throw

12:15

this out there. If you are into

12:15

two dudes on one woman like in

12:21

sexy bits to more power to you,

12:24

I think awesome. So

12:24

let's get into that a little

12:27

bit, which is the representation

12:27

of polyamory, which is really

12:30

what this is. It doesn't do a

12:30

good job, I don't think okay,

12:35

polyamory and

12:36

I just like to preface

12:36

this we're like yeah, we're

12:39

gonna giggle it live ridiculousness of it. But that is kind of the approach that I

12:41

would like to take to this. Yes,

12:44

this is a kink that people have

12:44

does it do a good job of

12:47

represent No,

12:47

I don't think so. And I

12:47

am not you know,

12:50

we're not polyamorous. Neither of

12:52

us are I know people who

12:52

are polyamorous I just don't

12:55

think that this depicts like a

12:55

healthy polyamorous

12:57

relationship. I think it's um,

12:57

you know, I'll get into the next

13:00

thing later, but I think the

13:00

representation of LGBTQ A no

13:05

community is not great. I don't

13:05

know why and I will get into it

13:09

in a little bit. Okay, so we are

13:09

characters triggers, triggers,

13:13

right triggers kidnapping,

13:13

horror forming. I know

13:18

it's He gets excited about that.

13:20

She's into that. Well, a

13:20

lot of times I've woken

13:23

up with her laying across my face. I think she might be

13:27

just like misogyny. DOS,

13:27

misogyny.

13:32

I love a good healthy

13:32

dose of misogyny with my morning

13:34

coffee.

13:35

your morning coffee.

13:35

It's great, right? Um, that too.

13:38

I totally wrote sarcasm a child

13:52

you are so bad at me right now.

13:54

I'm not mad at you.

13:54

It's just sometimes it makes my

13:58

editing really hard.

14:02

It does make for a really good episode.

14:04

It does. Margie is

14:04

weird, right? Awesome. You owe

14:08

me so much wine.

14:10

I do. I owe you a lot.

14:10

So much. All right. So our

14:13

characters, and there's a lot so

14:13

like and I want to warn you as

14:17

well. There's a lot of background that I have to get into black wolf gorge three. So

14:19

you know, imagine going into

14:23

Harry Potter certainly a

14:23

Prisoner of Azkaban, right, you

14:26

know, okay, so we have Janice

14:26

and she is our main girl

14:30

character. And she lives in

14:30

downtown Philly. And she's

14:35

basically a leasing agent. Okay

14:35

for apartment apartment building

14:39

that she that's what she does.

14:39

She manages the leasing in the

14:42

building.

14:43

Is there any sanely or

14:43

otherwise or overtly veiled

14:47

reference to the Greek god

14:47

Janus?

14:50

No. Well, the two face

14:50

Guy Yeah, I think in either

14:53

Roman or Greek. He's got Yeah,

14:53

the two phases. Yeah, no.

14:56

Okay. Maybe just the

14:56

number two. Yeah.

15:00

So we have Janice and

15:00

that I think blonde hair and I

15:04

don't remember what her eyes

15:04

look like I'm not worried about

15:06

it. Okay, um, so and then her

15:06

two boys who were gonna say are

15:11

both boys. Well, they you said

15:11

misogyny I know but that's not

15:17

really them. They don't do the

15:17

misogyny. Okay, so we're just

15:21

gonna call them boys. Well,

15:21

we'll determine at the end what

15:23

they are but Noah and Wade,

15:23

okay. And Noah and Wade are

15:28

where will shifters okay and

15:28

they are part of a pack that

15:31

lives in New Mexico. Okay, and

15:31

or maybe they're not I think

15:36

they're in the pack is in New

15:36

Mexico anyway, it doesn't really

15:39

matter for the plot. And their

15:39

pack is dwindling because they

15:44

were like, over half of their

15:44

population was slaughtered by

15:48

humans cheese. Okay, so Okay,

15:48

about 10 years ago,

15:51

are humans aware that

15:51

no, they're not aware. Okay.

15:55

They thought that they were just killing like regular wolves. Okay.

15:59

They just thought they were killing regular people.

16:02

So like their their pack

16:02

is dwindling and they are trying

16:06

to like have more full fledged

16:06

wolf babies in there. Like,

16:12

okay, so I'm assuming they're cold.

16:14

I'm assuming that it is.

16:14

In their in their pack? Maybe?

16:19

No, it's

16:20

a cold cold cold.

16:21

I'm assuming that so is

16:21

half werewolf half human baby

16:24

gonna be a full werewolf? Is it

16:24

like a they come out one or the

16:27

other?

16:28

To try to figure that

16:28

out? That comes into the plot?

16:30

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

16:30

Yeah. So um, those are three

16:34

main people, I will introduce

16:34

more people as we go along. But

16:37

just so that you get a little bit

16:38

of our two hot hunks of

16:38

Manmeet look like

16:41

they have I want to say

16:41

they are have dark hair with

16:46

bright blue eyes and actually a

16:46

thing of the pack. So like a

16:49

whole pack kind of like that

16:49

Irish look the same. Yeah. Which

16:52

is kind of weird. It's because

16:52

they all kind of look, they have

16:56

similar features and stuff like

16:56

that. So I

16:58

am still really getting

16:58

the vibe of you could have

17:02

replaced these two people with a

17:02

single person. It wouldn't have

17:05

mattered.

17:06

Trust me matters later.

17:06

Okay, fair. Besides the

17:09

sexual conquest thing.

17:09

Yeah. But like, Okay, I feel

17:13

like if you have polyamory, you

17:13

have to do a good job of giving

17:15

each character a personality.

17:17

Yeah, totally. But

17:17

here's the thing. None of the

17:19

characters in this book have a

17:19

great strong personality I would

17:21

say fair, so I think and I will

17:21

say this about the book The the

17:25

other three some couple. That's

17:25

the twin brothers and the the

17:29

one check. They seem to be like

17:29

the be the important plot point.

17:33

Like these other three

17:33

characters are just circle like

17:35

that. Okay. Very strange. Okay.

17:35

All right. So let's just get

17:38

into it. Let's dive in. Our the

17:38

first person we're introduced to

17:42

is Janice, it's New Year's Eve.

17:42

She is with her boyfriend,

17:46

boyfriend, Roy, who she knows is

17:46

kind of a douche canoe. And he

17:50

wrote he's the head of a

17:50

research reproductive clinic. So

17:53

he's like a very rich ritzy guy.

17:53

Right? Okay. He and He does come

17:58

into the plot later. Okay, so

17:58

she's kind of like a little

18:02

depressed. She's not in love

18:02

with the sky. But she knows that

18:05

she kind of should be because he's like, He's handsome. He's nice. He's giving her you know,

18:06

bullshit. Well, but yeah. And

18:10

she's like, like, it says a lot

18:10

in the book. Her biological

18:14

clock is ticking. She wants she

18:14

wants that baby. She gets

18:18

married, make baby neg quotes.

18:18

take many, many babies to quote

18:23

Big Fat Greek Wedding. So she's

18:23

there and she's like, I don't

18:27

know what I'm gonna do. But

18:27

like, I haven't found anyone

18:29

else yet. So I'm trying to make

18:29

it work with Roy. So it's like

18:32

10 seconds before midnight. Roy

18:32

is nowhere to be seen. And she's

18:35

like, Fuck, I at least need to

18:35

kiss up. I'm not going to be the

18:38

only person you know who's not

18:38

kissing someone on New Year's

18:41

Eve, because it's

18:41

five bucks says he's kissing someone.

18:44

You are exactly right.

18:44

Hey, oh, I second. The bell

18:48

rings for the new year. Janice

18:48

sees Roy kiss another woman. And

18:52

she's like, fuck this noise. I'm

18:52

out of here and then shit. So he

18:56

actually chases after her a

18:56

harness like it didn't mean

18:59

anything. Baby. She kissed me.

18:59

It means nothing. She doesn't

19:02

matter to me. And she's and

19:02

she's like, You know what,

19:05

whatever. It's New Year's Eve.

19:05

I'm gonna let it go. They go

19:08

home and they have sex. Okay, so

19:08

that's like your introduction to

19:11

Genesis character. Okay. Right.

19:11

Right,

19:14

girl. Girl. Drop that

19:14

man. Like fucking prices at

19:19

Walmart on Black Friday. Jesus.

19:22

That was amazing. Thank

19:22

you. That was really good. We

19:25

switched to something worse. Oh,

19:25

good. Yeah. So we switch to Noah

19:31

and Noah is like I said he's a

19:31

member of this wolf pack. Right?

19:34

Or, excuse me cold. And he's

19:34

currently having sex with a

19:39

woman. I wait. Yep. Okay. Yeah.

19:39

He's like in the middle of

19:44

coitus, who were introduced is

19:44

having sex with this woman

19:48

because his Alpha leader told

19:48

him to get her pregnant because

19:52

they're trying to like increase

19:52

the population. They need quote

19:56

unquote, more pups. Yep, Yep.

19:56

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But he is gay.

20:06

Okay, so he can't get off like

20:06

he's having sex with this woman,

20:10

and he gets her off, but he

20:10

doesn't get off and he doesn't

20:13

come so like, you can still get

20:13

pregnant but it's way less you

20:17

know. And so like pourrais Allah

20:17

this girl that he's have sex

20:21

with is like berated by the

20:21

Alpha leader because she

20:24

couldn't get no off. This is the

20:24

beginning of the book. This is

20:28

chapter two.

20:30

i Okay, hang on. Yeah,

20:30

question. Yeah. What? And I

20:33

cannot stress this enough.

20:36

The fuck so like, yeah,

20:36

like the massage is

20:43

real and this man, he's

20:43

not bisexual. He is gay.

20:47

He's gay. And we're

20:47

gonna get into that you don't do

20:51

well so in here like the right.

20:51

Oh, it gets worse. Yeah, so like

20:59

I said before, no, I don't know

20:59

if I said this before. But Noah

21:03

Wolfpack wade in the Wolfpack

21:03

are in a relationship. Right?

21:06

They've been together for a

21:06

while the Alpha leader Alex was

21:10

was Noah's first love. Okay, so

21:10

they like they and they still

21:14

kind of have some like sparks

21:14

going on between them. Okay, and

21:17

so Alex, the alpha leader, but

21:17

because Alex is the alpha

21:21

leader, basically, he knows he's like, I can't be in a relationship with anyone. I have

21:23

too much responsibility. And

21:25

also I need to be making some

21:25

wolf babies like with this with

21:28

another wolf woman. And there

21:28

are way fewer women than there

21:32

are men left. So they're

21:32

basically trying to get these

21:35

women pregnant.

21:36

Oh, good. It's

21:37

great. Yeah, that

21:38

is very culty. Yeah. Oh,

21:39

it's horrifically cold.

21:41

So Nexium wolf edition.

21:43

Okay, so this is

21:43

horrifying. So Noah has pulled

21:47

aside Nolan Wade are both pulled

21:47

aside by Alex. He pulls them

21:50

what's an office in a cold

21:50

building? It should be something

21:54

else does

21:54

the inner sanctum

21:55

intersect that there we

21:55

go. Okay, so he pulls them into

21:58

the inner sanctum. And he shows

21:58

a picture of a woman and they're

22:01

like, Who is this? But she does

22:01

look like she should be a member

22:03

of the pack. Okay. And this is

22:03

how though as I handed the

22:07

picture back and this is a

22:07

quote, no one handed the picture

22:10

back and shook his head. Who is

22:10

she? Alex said the mother of my

22:13

pups, so he's already decided

22:13

that like they're gonna kidnap

22:17

this woman and impregnate her.

22:19

Oh, is that is a really

22:19

solid start any relationship?

22:23

Well, it's not a

22:23

relationship because he already

22:25

knows that this woman has

22:25

already made it to is already

22:29

made it Yeah. How Okay, so this

22:29

is this woman. His name is

22:35

Sable. Okay, Abel is mated to

22:35

Janice's twin brothers.

22:40

So Oh, so this is her

22:40

sister or what are no no her

22:44

sisters are

22:44

lost. This is the main

22:44

character Janice's sister in

22:47

law. And she and she is married

22:47

to Janice's twin brothers. Yes,

22:53

yeah. And so Alex wants to

22:53

kidnap her and impregnate her to

22:59

grow their population. Why to

22:59

grow their population because

23:03

they're running out they're

23:03

dying. Yes, but why her because

23:06

she's a she's a full fledged

23:06

war. Does she know that? Yes.

23:09

She's been on the run. Okay,

23:09

like it's good. Yeah, Ray and

23:13

that's like another book so

23:13

we're not going to get into that

23:15

it's fine right? Our our

23:15

husbands both know that she is

23:19

okay but they are not they are

23:19

not they're regular men. And

23:23

they have actually so and here's

23:23

the other thing But wait,

23:26

there's more. Sable has had twin

23:26

boys with her husband husbands

23:31

and each of the twin boys has

23:31

has a different partner from

23:35

these from the from her

23:35

husband's Yeah,

23:37

I I guess technically

23:37

the highest possible

23:42

it's possible. It's just

23:42

highly highly highly, highly

23:46

unlikely but they do mention in

23:46

the book that it's more likely

23:51

if you are a wolf Okay.

23:54

Fuck you biology and molecular

23:56

biology. Okay, so I'm

23:56

the Alpha tells them you're

24:02

going to Philadelphia and you

24:02

are going to meet up with

24:06

actually with Roy who happens to

24:06

also be a werewolf

24:16

the doctor the Janice was with

24:16

was hanging out with right was

24:20

dating is a werewolf and the

24:20

reason why Roy has been dating

24:25

Janice is because he wants

24:25

information on stable and her

24:28

husband's

24:29

okay. Let me go put my

24:29

cork boards right yeah, my pins

24:33

and my cork board string some

24:33

red raw red yarn and

24:37

pause for a second. Is

24:37

this clear? Yes can be as clear

24:41

as

24:41

it can do have

24:41

questions. A nun relating to the

24:45

plot. Yeah, but I do have

24:45

questions.

24:48

All right. I do not

24:48

blame you for that. Guide so we

24:55

move on to the next chapter way

24:55

to know that have come in, come

24:59

into the city center. Be into

24:59

Philadelphia.

25:01

Hey, would you mind

25:01

going to Philadelphia and

25:03

bringing me back this woman? And

25:03

you know, while you're at it, I

25:06

am really craving a cheese

25:06

steak.

25:12

Just can you just like,

25:12

throw her in the back and then

25:15

maybe pick up a cheese steak on

25:15

the way? Yeah, it's fine. State

25:18

milkshake. Yeah, extra, extra

25:18

extra ways,

25:20

please. Yeah.

25:22

So we get back to

25:22

knowing Wait, they're now in

25:25

Philadelphia. And they have

25:25

actually, um, they have decided

25:29

that they're also going to kind

25:29

of like, Hang start trying to

25:31

get closer to Janice to get more

25:31

information about Sable. Okay,

25:35

and so they show up at her

25:35

leasing office on her like, we

25:37

want to lease an apartment. We

25:37

have cash and she's like, cool.

25:41

Do you have a reference? And

25:41

they're like, a Roy. Oh, no,

25:46

that's like the first person that they thought of, and she's actually like, fine with it.

25:48

Because at this point, she and

25:50

Roy are like, not great, but

25:50

they're again, okay. And so

25:55

she's like, that's fine. But

25:55

what your question

25:57

that is in direct

25:57

conflict with the description on

26:02

the

26:02

back of the book. Yeah.

26:02

Okay. Yeah. Well, the the real

26:06

thing between them is coming.

26:06

Okay, though. Yeah, it is.

26:09

Someone's coming. Hey, all

26:09

right. So Oh, yeah, just wait.

26:13

And coming and coming

26:13

and coming and

26:15

going. So Wade is like,

26:15

it thinks that Janice is

26:19

gorgeous and all that, but he's

26:19

not attracted to her at all.

26:22

Noah is super attracted to her

26:22

from the moment like she, like

26:26

they meet in the office, like

26:26

the sexual chemistry is just

26:29

flying. Okay. Um, and Wade does

26:29

not like it. Okay, and why?

26:34

Right, right. Like, and it's

26:34

like flirting with her and

26:37

waiters like what the fuck is

26:37

going on? So, but she leases

26:41

them an apartment. Okay. And we

26:41

didn't know when they're buying

26:45

once they're by themselves.

26:45

Like, wait, it's kind of like,

26:47

Hey, you were flirting with her?

26:47

And I was like, Babe, you know?

26:51

I only got eyes for you at a 69

26:51

All right. In an apartment with

26:57

no furniture just on the

26:57

hardwood floor.

27:01

These are people they're

27:01

robots. You were flirting with

27:05

her? Baby you know I only have

27:05

eyes for you

27:13

and it's time to 69 on this

27:13

floor okay, I don't know if you

27:20

follow Oh, I don't know if you

27:20

fully appreciated my robot sex

27:24

nice to have

27:28

a baby do what a really

27:28

bad quote her so this is about

27:32

Janice her fair coloring made

27:32

her seem Oh seem Excuse me but

27:37

there's a typo. It was supposed

27:37

to be seen made her seem fragile

27:43

and in need of protection even

27:43

though she tried to look so

27:46

business like incompetent in her

27:46

gray suit and high neck to white

27:48

blouse. Another difference like

27:48

in woman like in his werewolf.

27:52

Yeah, like in women weren't

27:52

involved in business of any

27:56

kind. Their only concern was

27:56

making a baby ah.

28:06

Oh my god. Oh my god.

28:12

Their delicate

28:12

constitution or not is not

28:15

suited to the high stress world

28:15

of business.

28:21

Alright, so So, Janice,

28:21

we cut back to Janice, who

28:25

cannot stop thinking about ways

28:25

to know and how sexy they are

28:28

and how attractive they are. And

28:28

all this she Polly she must be.

28:32

Yeah, yeah, she must be because she

28:34

has no Uh, bye. Okay,

28:34

sorry. jumping the gun. Yeah,

28:37

jump in, like jumping

28:37

the wolf just a little bit. So,

28:40

and I will it's at the right

28:40

time that I will explain it, I

28:42

promise. So, um, because I have

28:42

a lot of thoughts on that. Oh,

28:46

good. So she and she is like,

28:46

horny. She's like, I need some

28:52

sex. I need to like get with

28:52

someone out Carrie. So she's

28:56

like, You know what? I'm gonna

28:56

go surprise Roy for lunch.

28:59

He's with someone. And

29:01

yes, hi. So the

29:01

Secretary is blowing him under

29:04

the desk.

29:05

Dude. Roy is a fuck boy.

29:05

No, on the scale of like, boy to

29:12

our boy, all that stuff. Just

29:12

he's just a funny boy.

29:16

And so he like tries to

29:16

shrug it off again. Because

29:19

Janet because like he tells her

29:19

he's like You don't need to get

29:21

blown out Jobson. She does.

29:21

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Right.

29:28

No, baby. I only have

29:28

eyes for you.

29:32

So she's like really

29:32

Janice's really upset and she

29:36

she goes back home and that's

29:36

where Nolan Wade find her so

29:42

they knock on her door How did

29:42

they find her home? Well they

29:45

know they actually explained

29:45

that they they live in this so

29:48

she lives in that that apartment

29:48

building that she leased to

29:51

Julie's an apartment okay for

29:51

them to and they're like oh,

29:54

your name was on the on your

29:54

mailbox. So we knew what what

29:57

number you're

29:58

Yeah, yeah, your name

29:58

was on your mailbox. We went and

30:00

looked at every single mailbox

30:00

to make sure Yep, we knew

30:03

so. So they knock on our

30:03

door, like, they can tell that

30:07

she's kind of upset. So and they

30:07

can and she's like, and they're

30:10

like, Hey, can we hang out and

30:10

you can help us like pick out

30:13

furniture because we're just trying to get close to her because I want to get to save

30:14

all right. And she's like, you

30:18

know, right now, it's not really

30:18

a good time. And they're like,

30:20

but they're really, really pushing. It's not

30:22

a normal human. Hello,

30:22

yes, you're my leasing agent. Do

30:26

you want to just like, hang out

30:26

with two men that you don't

30:29

know? And

30:29

how are they? Let's see

30:29

here. I'm just I'm not trying to

30:34

defend the book. I'm just

30:34

trying, like they say, quote,

30:37

unquote, no, and I thought you

30:37

might clue us in on life in the

30:40

big city, you know, direct us to

30:40

the best places to buy

30:42

furniture, that kind of thing.

30:44

Okay, all right, that

30:44

that is a more human like

30:47

response right now. And I am

30:47

sorry. No, it's totally fine.

30:51

This is this is my people. This

30:51

is my pictures of spider man. I

30:56

hope nobody hates my robot voice

30:56

because you're gonna hear a lot

31:01

of it. Good.

31:02

I can't wait. Okay, so

31:02

um, so she says, I'm sorry,

31:06

maybe another time? I'm afraid I

31:06

wouldn't be very good company

31:09

tonight. And then I'm going to

31:09

quote this right so I'm still

31:13

reading from the book. Noah's

31:13

mind race with possibilities a

31:16

distressed woman would be easier

31:16

to manipulate. If he the wave

31:20

turned on their wolf his charm

31:20

and gained her confidence they

31:22

might find out more. Even better

31:22

if it came to that. It wouldn't

31:26

be the first time they fucked

31:26

for the good of the clan.

31:28

Surprise, Noah found himself

31:28

thinking that fucking Miss

31:31

outlaw which is her last name,

31:31

outlaw last name would not be a

31:36

hardship

31:46

This isn't real.

31:46

There's no way this is real.

31:50

So she had, so they get

31:50

her to have a drink with them.

31:54

So they drink a little bit of red wine.

31:56

Well, yeah, because

31:56

she's just stressed and thus

31:58

easier to manipulate. And

32:01

they ordered dinner,

32:01

they order some pizza together.

32:04

And they're drinking this wine

32:04

and they got her a little

32:06

buzzed. Right. And so now she

32:06

starts to kind of like, fess up

32:10

about sable and her brothers,

32:10

too.

32:13

I would like to

32:13

reiterate these two strangers.

32:16

So these two

32:17

strangers? She does not

32:17

no, no. Um, so then they're like

32:22

getting into the topic of like,

32:22

so. This woman is married to

32:26

both of your brothers and Janice

32:26

like, Yes, I know. It's weird,

32:29

but like, they're all really happy. It seems to work for them. They even have. I have two

32:31

little nephews, thanks to it.

32:34

And they actually have different

32:34

fathers. So like, she's giving

32:36

away a lot of information. Okay.

32:36

I mean, a lot of this

32:39

information. I mean, like, she

32:39

thinks that they're just two gay

32:43

guys who came and you know, you

32:43

know, time with her. I know it's

32:47

sketchy because we know those

32:47

sketchy but like,

32:49

I think this is sketchy

32:49

no matter what the situation is.

32:52

But it's weird.

32:53

It's all weird. Yeah,

32:53

she so so then it kind of gets

32:56

into alright, I'm just gonna

32:56

read this. All right. How do you

32:59

feel about that? No one

32:59

murmured. Do they disapprove?

33:01

Not at all. They're happy.

33:01

That's the important thing. Do

33:04

you think you could do that make

33:04

love to two men? I mean, no, I

33:08

looked at her through slitted

33:08

eyes, the familiar tightening of

33:11

his groin surprised to his cock

33:11

growed hard. Janice flushed red.

33:16

I don't know that she makes love

33:16

to both of them at the same

33:19

time. It's really none of my

33:19

business. I didn't ask about

33:22

her. I asked about you. She

33:22

might think of none of our

33:24

business, but the sense of her

33:24

arousal told him the idea and

33:27

treat her her reactions

33:27

intrigued him.

33:30

i Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

33:32

I'm not in any way into

33:32

this. I'm not okay, good. Yeah.

33:36

Yeah, well, I

33:37

mean, not good. Like, again, if you're into it, or into it, just this is a bad

33:39

example of this.

33:42

I'm like, Yeah, well, so

33:42

And here. Here. I'm gonna

33:46

preface this scene. Okay, now

33:46

I'll just tell they have sex the

33:50

three of them have sex but and

33:50

we will get into it but there's

33:53

a couple things I want to get

33:53

into first okay. One is the I

33:57

think that this kind of

33:57

contributes to that idea of

34:01

sexuality is a sliding scale

34:01

sure know that sexuality is a

34:04

sliding scale. However, the

34:04

likelihood that suddenly two

34:08

very gay men date you know if

34:08

I'm gonna assume like, right

34:14

most of their lives.

34:16

Well, they've always

34:16

been gay, but they figured out

34:18

hey, yeah, but then

34:19

there's this one magical

34:19

woman that's what I'm because

34:22

like they have had so Linda's

34:22

had other but I think that it's

34:25

so it's kind of like that thing.

34:25

It's the reversal of there.

34:29

There's that porn out there were

34:29

lesbian women. Yeah. Screaming

34:33

for cock, right, which is not a

34:33

thing. Not real. So that's what

34:38

this reminds me of. It's

34:40

very interesting.

34:40

Flipping on its head of the

34:43

whole weird bisexual, you just

34:43

haven't found the right dick.

34:46

Right? It's like the exact it's

34:46

like that flipped where it's

34:49

like, oh, you're gay. You just

34:49

haven't found the right vagina

34:52

yet. And it's really not

34:52

okay. No, like it's not in and

34:56

you know, and the other thing is

34:56

they have the conversation about

34:59

it in the book of like, yeah,

34:59

I'm super surprised I never

35:01

expected to feel this type of

35:01

attraction to a woman before and

35:05

all the stuff maybe that would

35:05

have made it more okay but even

35:09

though not great, not great and

35:09

they don't talk about it Yeah,

35:12

yeah

35:13

and I'm assuming like I

35:13

thought Wade was jealous of Noah

35:16

was the other thing suddenly

35:16

okay with this

35:19

I have no idea all of a

35:19

sudden he just comes up from

35:22

behind her and like grabs her

35:22

waist and starts kissing her

35:25

neck and it's like into it and

35:25

I'm like what

35:27

Where did that come from? It

35:29

came out of nowhere

35:30

I mean to be fair, the

35:30

sex scene came out of nowhere

35:34

she motherfucker

35:35

get you to buy the packer can I get it to what specific of the sex scene

35:38

should we save it for

35:38

under the covers?

35:41

Okay, just know I am not

35:41

sure if this is physically

35:44

possible Hell

35:45

yeah, hell yeah, I

35:48

just awesome. I don't

35:48

know so they have sex right? Can

35:52

you have them have sex at night?

35:52

It is like they all describe it

35:55

as like amazing and magical and

35:55

all this stuff. Okay,

35:57

unbelievable. rate that

35:57

escalated very quickly escalates

36:02

so quickly that it's really log.

36:05

Oh my god. Just watching

36:05

you swiping on your phone

36:09

after the sex Wade and

36:09

no up leave pretty early in the

36:14

morning because they have to go

36:14

and kidnap someone. Oh, they're

36:16

very busy. Right? Yeah. Go get

36:16

that zone outside of tight

36:20

schedule right. So they um

36:26

Oh thank you. Babe. I'd

36:26

love to stay for breakfast but I

36:32

just the whole reason I came to

36:32

Philly was to kid up someone and

36:36

you know Oh, the cheese takes

36:38

thanks for all that

36:38

information. Yeah, the person

36:41

that we thank you for the

36:41

information. The sex Yeah, by so

36:45

and so. Janice has kind of left

36:45

feeling bereft because she heard

36:50

too good word.

36:51

Thank you. Yeah,

36:52

I'm hot wolf lovers.

36:52

She's another wolcen She just

36:56

another wolves Yep. A widow but

36:56

are too hot gay lovers. Yeah,

36:59

have left her and she's like,

37:00

oh, one would assume no

37:00

longer gay magically

37:03

magically Yes. Yeah. Cuz

37:03

that's they just haven't found

37:07

the right vagina. Yeah, luckily

37:07

the vagina that works for the

37:10

one vagina works for both of them.

37:12

You know, sometimes two

37:12

keys fit the same God say that,

37:22

Rachel, Rachel go to

37:28

the backtracking tired

37:28

God Do you

37:33

Okay, all right. All

37:33

right. So healthy

37:35

dose of healthy dose of

37:35

feminism in the morning.

37:38

Janice is depressed so

37:38

she decides you know what I'm

37:41

actually going to leave the city

37:41

and go back into wherever the

37:44

fuck her brothers and sister in

37:44

law are. I'm just gonna go and

37:48

she's gonna go help with the

37:48

kidnap Well, she's not gonna

37:50

help with the kidnap but she's

37:50

gonna she's just kind of like

37:54

sure that a lonely it's like

37:54

okay, I'm gonna go home. So

37:57

wait. You mean some

37:57

people go to their family when

38:02

they're feeling sad

38:06

because with that other

38:06

detail. Janice and her brothers

38:13

parents were murdered by wolves

38:20

So, Janice after they've all

38:20

eaten dinner together is doing

38:24

the dishes for everyone. And she

38:24

looks through the window of

38:29

like, through the kitchen window

38:29

and sees for wolf eyes outside

38:34

the window.

38:34

Okay, so she's with her family.

38:36

She's with her family now

38:38

when I was little wolves

38:38

murdered my parents. Now I am

38:43

become Wolf Man

38:51

with us today? No. I think it's

38:51

the combination of that book and

38:58

us not seeing each other in like

38:58

two months.

39:01

Too long. Okay. All

39:01

right. Crack right back into it.

39:06

One crack

39:06

is about the way we're acting right now.

39:11

Okay, all right. So

39:11

Genesis League, so

39:16

they're come back for me they've tasted blood.

39:18

Jude Okay, so we're

39:18

brothers name are Jude and

39:20

Jonas. I should have mentioned that

39:22

earlier. So you have Jude Jonas and Janice.

39:24

Janice. So Jude and

39:24

Jonas they take their their

39:27

rifles and they go out to check

39:27

out if there's anything else in

39:30

downtown Philly we're not in

39:30

Philly anymore. They're in the

39:33

countryside. Okay. Yeah. So and

39:33

sables like please be careful

39:37

please don't shoot unless you

39:37

have to and Janice is like

39:39

they're wolves kill them right

39:39

you know what, I'm just gonna

39:44

leave it we're gonna species

39:44

guys

39:47

keep rolling with it.

39:47

I'm going to comment on nothing

39:49

with this.

39:50

Alright, so the next

39:50

day. We so we cut to Nolan Wade

39:55

who were like sleeping in a cave

39:55

together because they're wolves

39:58

and it's fine with them, and

39:58

they're like, hey, I really

40:01

don't feel comfortable with this

40:01

whole kidnapping thing anymore.

40:05

I'm really not about this

40:05

especially now that Janice is

40:08

there I'm really upset about it.

40:08

I don't want to do it and

40:10

they're like, Yeah, but the

40:10

alpha so they're like, I guess

40:14

when this gets reduced kidnap

40:14

because now that they see now

40:18

that they see that this woman

40:18

has a family okay they're

40:21

admitted to her mates like

40:21

should we do this? Hmm moral

40:26

dilemma dilemma, but they do

40:26

decide to go along with it.

40:32

Don't worry.

40:33

I just wouldn't be

40:33

loving Second. Second Thoughts

40:36

about actively kidnapping a

40:36

mother of two children. You know

40:40

what do you think I'm over it?

40:43

You know what the sex

40:43

the 6019 that we did? I feel

40:47

better now. I don't know. I don't remember if they actually had sex. Okay. I don't remember

40:50

in the cave in what

40:50

form? Oh, I hope not. Because I

40:53

would not want to read that

40:53

sexy. I would I want to buy

40:57

this book that was gonna

40:57

happen. Damn it. Honestly, I

41:00

kind of wish it did. No,

41:00

I don't just have it actually

41:04

have happened.

41:04

No, no, no. No, at least

41:04

I don't I want you to Beauty the

41:11

Beast to that thought through

41:11

okay, but like

41:13

I know, at least they

41:13

don't have barbed penises. The

41:20

last episode shot.

41:22

Ah. All right. All

41:22

right. All right. Here we go. So

41:26

the next day, just one either

41:26

one dude or Jonas is a scientist

41:31

and he's like working in his

41:31

lab. He's got a lot. Okay. Sure.

41:34

Why, okay. The other brother is

41:34

going to go to the stables that

41:38

they also own, take care of the

41:38

horses muck out and do all that

41:41

stuff. And Janice decides to

41:41

join horses famously fans of

41:45

wolves. Yes. Well, right. So,

41:45

Janice, so Janice goes and Joyce

41:51

joins him at that time. Noah and

41:51

Wade do come into the house they

41:55

chloroform Sable, and they

41:55

actually take her babies as

41:59

well. So they kidnap the

41:59

children. And they get them on a

42:03

private plane and they are

42:03

headed back to Philly. That was

42:06

fast. Very fast. So that

42:06

kidnapping like what like boom,

42:09

Boo Boo. Wow. Not they kidnap

42:09

them back to New Mexico. So

42:14

they're now cool. Yeah. So it's

42:14

that's that's great. So Jude and

42:19

Jonas come do Jonas and Janice.

42:19

Come back to the house. And they

42:26

know that the babies in in sable

42:26

are gone. Like they've been

42:29

kidding. Uh huh. And yeah, so

42:29

okay, I'm putting like they're

42:32

putting two two together to make

42:32

five because that's the way this

42:36

plot

42:38

i You should be proud of

42:38

me and how little I am saying

42:41

about how little sense this

42:43

makes it makes zero

42:43

sense. And, uh, so, okay, so

42:48

they kidnapped her. Yeah. And

42:48

her children they're on a plane

42:52

to to back to New Mexico. Nach

42:56

the money for a private

42:56

plane.

42:58

Apparently this this

42:58

Cole has tons of money with a

43:02

call. Never heard of that before

43:02

Scientology. So

43:07

but with wolves, excuse me, it's

43:08

a religion. So anyway,

43:08

um, so they're headed back. And

43:15

Jude, Jude, Janice, and Jude Law

43:15

showed us, that's it. Go back to

43:26

the house. And they're like sables been kidnapped. The baby's been kidnapped? Oh, no.

43:28

What are we going to do? Logical

43:31

mental jump. Well, so Janice

43:31

actually makes a logical jump to

43:35

we need to call the police a

43:35

girl. But they're the her

43:38

brothers are like, Hey, sit

43:38

down. We need to tell you. No.

43:42

And Janice is like, what is it?

43:42

And they're like, well, we can't

43:45

call the police because sable is

43:45

a werewolf. And we think the

43:51

reason why someone took her is

43:51

probably because they weren't

43:53

her DNA or something like that.

43:53

Because they want to like

43:57

reproduce the wolf whatever, or

43:57

something like that. Like they

44:00

want her bio data basically.

44:00

Right? And her children's by the

44:04

Children's bio data. Okay, okay.

44:04

So they call the sky and they

44:09

call this guy Malcolm, who's

44:09

also a local wolf shifter, who

44:12

lives nearby. I need to know how

44:12

she took this information. She

44:16

was kind of like, she didn't

44:16

believe them. But she was like,

44:19

okay, like and then so then they

44:19

call this guy Malcolm nearby and

44:23

they're like sables been

44:23

kidnapped. And Malcolm comes

44:25

over right away. And he actually

44:25

turns into a wolf in front of

44:29

her. Okay, so Jan, this is like,

44:29

Guess this is real. This is a

44:33

thing. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah,

44:36

we're just gonna roll with it. We're just at this point, but we're rolling.

44:41

So Monica was like, she

44:41

was definitely kidnapped by some

44:45

wolves. And so then they're kind

44:45

of like, how did they figure out

44:49

she was here, like, we need to

44:49

go back to the beginning. And so

44:52

they extrapolate somehow,

44:52

because people assume equals

44:56

five. No, actually, excuse me.

44:56

Two plus two equals nine at this

44:59

point. You

45:04

know, two plus two

45:04

equals three

45:10

scandalous. So two plus

45:10

two equals three, they

45:14

extrapolate that ROI is somehow

45:14

connected to this whole plan,

45:19

right. And so it's agreed that

45:19

Jonas and Janice are going to

45:25

head back to Philly. And they're

45:25

going to basically try to entrap

45:29

Roy, so that Roy will lead them

45:29

to where sable is. Okay.

45:36

Sure, keep chugging

45:36

along, choo, choo, fucker,

45:39

they get back to Philly,

45:39

and they come up with this plan

45:41

that what's her name, Janice is

45:41

good calls Roy and says, Hey, I

45:48

really need your help with something. Can I come to your office? And he's like, sure,

45:52

because now she calls because you really want to walk in on him getting a blowing

45:54

again, I

45:55

can't blame her. And

45:55

she's like, you know, what the

45:57

past the past what should have

45:57

been his first red flag that

46:00

some of the what we call, you

46:00

know, the past the past

46:03

whatever.

46:04

He has a history of

46:04

assuming she's just going to be

46:06

fine with it. And

46:07

so she goes into his

46:07

office, I care where she goes,

46:10

and I think she actually just

46:10

calls him she calls him and

46:12

says, Hey, I've got a friend who

46:12

really need some help. She's

46:14

trying to get away from the sky.

46:14

And abuser she and she's

46:18

pregnant and she wants to

46:18

terminate the pregnancy. Oh, by

46:21

the way, she's got these

46:21

features like kind of look where

46:23

Wolfie. So can you like can you

46:23

help her somehow? So Roy is very

46:30

interested because he thinks

46:30

that Janice has found another

46:33

werewolf check. And he's like,

46:33

Great, awesome. Hey, can your

46:36

friend stop by tonight and I can

46:36

see if I can help her somehow.

46:39

And Janice is like,

46:40

yes, because I am.

46:40

Personally the one person that

46:42

handles terminating pregnancies.

46:42

Hey, y'all, so I'll give money

46:46

to Planned Parenthood.

46:48

And the athletes like

46:48

Why doesn't she like go to a

46:50

clinic or something like that?

46:50

Janice comes up with this really

46:52

like weird accent?

46:53

Okay, well, yeah,

46:53

because none of the rest of this

46:55

book has been weird.

46:57

And this all comes with

46:57

like, I want you to know, a

46:59

backdrop of like, covering up

46:59

sense because she doesn't want

47:03

certain wolfies they don't want

47:03

certain Wolfie sets around. Up

47:08

on them, right? I'm glossing

47:08

over all of that.

47:11

Yeah, please do. Yeah.

47:11

Because we would be here for

47:15

God, Roy shows up that

47:15

night. And he's like, Hey,

47:19

where's your friend and rag

47:19

smelly chloroform? Janice, this

47:24

like, she's gonna call me. And

47:24

then I'll tell her whether, you

47:28

know, because she's kind of in a

47:28

weird situation right now. And

47:31

then she'll decide if she wants

47:31

to come out here. So in

47:33

Janice's, like, in the meantime,

47:33

why don't you have a glass of

47:35

wine? And of course Roy's an

47:35

idiot and says, Sure. And she

47:40

drugs, his wine, his wine? Oh,

47:40

yeah. Yeah. And so

47:45

you said that we are

47:45

over halfway through this book?

47:48

Yeah, we are. This romance novel

47:48

has involved our girl. And the

47:54

two main leads seeing each other

47:54

twice. And one of those times

48:00

was for sex? Yep. Okay. Just

48:00

throw that out there.

48:05

So eventually, they try

48:05

to question Roy once he wakes up

48:08

the werewolves and the werewolf

48:08

and the twin brothers right

48:12

about disable it. Yeah, they

48:12

don't really get my job of him.

48:15

But they but he one of the

48:15

brothers manages to hack into

48:18

the mainframe of Roy's computer

48:18

and get into his email and

48:23

therefore find out that they're

48:23

probably in New Mexico. So I

48:26

really wish I'd brought

48:26

in some sort of book or

48:29

something to just beat my head

48:29

against during this bug we

48:33

switched back to

48:33

actually be alpha, Alex, why

48:38

not? Why not? Who is back a

48:38

weird so now we are in New

48:43

Mexico. We're on the compound of

48:43

this wolf cult. Oh, it's bad, I

48:51

think all the GOP out. So we're

48:51

at the compound and he is having

48:55

some serious, like, problems

48:55

with kidnapping this woman

49:01

because now he sees her. Her

49:01

distress is right in front of

49:05

him. Like she has no injury. He

49:05

had this he had fantasize in his

49:09

mind that once she got back to

49:09

her pack to her quote unquote

49:14

people that you be like, Oh,

49:14

this is where I belong. It's all

49:17

cool now and she's not like

49:17

she's like No Where are my

49:20

husband? Alex has a lot of

49:20

problems. He has a lot of

49:23

problems. Okay. So he, he and he

49:23

separated and one thing the

49:29

horrible thing that he does is

49:29

he separates sable from her

49:34

twins.

49:35

Something something

49:35

something separating parents

49:37

from children continue

49:40

through that before. So

49:40

he still separates a mother from

49:44

her children right and tells the

49:44

mother get with the program or I

49:49

will kill your babies.

49:55

We will be here for

49:55

days. Just keep going. Just keep

50:00

So, like, so he's having

50:00

second thoughts. He's like,

50:05

Okay, this is probably not the

50:05

best thing as this human emotion

50:09

is human emotions and. And way

50:09

to know what he's like talk he

50:15

talks to way to know about it.

50:15

Well, so he goes in and sees the

50:19

kids first and he sees that

50:19

they're crying, they're upset,

50:22

like they want to be with their mother, they're like freaking out. Sure. I don't know if you

50:23

guys know this, but separating a

50:29

parent or a child from their

50:29

parent is horrifically

50:32

psychologically damaging for a

50:32

very long time. So Khan, die has

50:37

quite really, I had no idea I

50:37

had no idea Australia, um, and

50:41

he tells like, the he tells one

50:41

of the wolf women who of course

50:45

she's with the babies, because

50:45

only women can take care of

50:47

babies naturally to return the

50:47

children to their mother. And

50:50

he's like,

50:51

what a good person.

50:52

I guess. I did the wrong

50:52

thing. And he goes to wait and

50:56

no, and he's like, okay, get her

50:56

out of here. I don't want her

50:59

here. I want to return her. i

50:59

This was a dumb idea. This

51:02

entire

51:02

plot is based on a take

51:02

vaccines rule. kidnap the woman.

51:11

I don't want her anymore. That's

51:11

the plot. Yeah, so

51:16

Okay, so the mothers

51:16

returned to her children, they,

51:19

they begin to plan how they're

51:19

going to get her back to the

51:23

outskirts of Philly.

51:24

This has anything No,

51:24

it has nothing to do with a

51:28

relationship between these two

51:28

men and this woman. All right,

51:31

we're

51:31

getting back to that.

51:31

Okay. Yeah, almost at the end of

51:34

the bus same time. As this is

51:34

happening. Jude, Janice Jonas

51:38

and Michael Malcolm Bengo are

51:38

planning to break into the

51:44

compound and they do not

51:44

succeed. They are all kidnapped

51:49

and brought inside the compound

51:49

Yo dawg. Yo, do you like

51:53

kidnapping?

51:54

How about we kidnap?

51:54

Oh, my

51:56

stables actually

51:56

returned her. Her sable is

52:00

actually reunited with her

52:00

children and with her husband.

52:02

Oh, good, happy families

52:02

together. And this is when

52:06

Janice, Janice, I don't remember

52:06

how but she knew that way to

52:10

know uh, were involved in all of

52:10

this like she had they put her

52:13

together probably from Roy

52:13

somehow. Sure. So she knew that

52:17

they were involved. But so then

52:17

Alex the Alpha comes comes into

52:24

the room with Noah and Wade so

52:24

we have in the room right? This

52:27

one little room. Janice, Malcolm

52:27

Sable, Jude, Jonas. Alex the

52:36

alpha, Wade and Noah. Okay.

52:36

eight characters. You got this?

52:41

Okay, okay. Okay, ready?

52:41

Is he a werewolf?

52:47

Yes.

52:48

Okay, click click,

52:48

click, click. I'm guessing a

52:54

does he look like a bitch? As we

52:54

sit here and play Guess who with

53:00

a roomful of people.

53:02

Okay, so. So Alex tells

53:02

the family, so. Uh huh. Does

53:10

that make sense? Yes, family

53:10

tells the family you can leave.

53:14

But Janice has to stay. And wait

53:14

and no are like what? And he's

53:20

like, Yeah, your family can go

53:20

free. If Janice stays.

53:26

I feel like something

53:26

happened in your life when you

53:28

were younger. Maybe his whole

53:30

family was slaughtered

53:30

right in front of him. Yeah,

53:34

that'll fuck you. Oh, fuck yeah.

53:34

All right. So so, um, and he

53:39

tells Janice you have until

53:39

morning to decide otherwise,

53:42

like Something terrible's gonna

53:42

happen. Basically, I don't

53:45

remember what it doesn't really

53:45

matter. This the next part is

53:49

what matters. So Janice, it is

53:49

separated from everybody else.

53:55

And this girl, and the girl

53:55

tells her that she's taking her

53:59

to her own room. No, she takes

53:59

her to like this like,

54:03

sex dungeon.

54:05

Like a steam bathroom.

54:05

Like there's this giant pool and

54:10

it's steamy and hot, so she

54:11

can be baptized into the cold. Great.

54:15

So, so she goes out

54:15

there and she's like, No, that

54:19

doesn't sound half bad. Why

54:21

the fuck not sex in the

54:21

bathtub? Yes, got it.

54:24

Oh, she's sitting in the

54:24

bathtub. She's thinking about

54:27

Noah Wade she's getting all hot

54:27

and bothered. And when a wolf

54:30

walks up to her she

54:31

is in the middle of a

54:31

kidnapping. This is 365 Tni all

54:38

over

54:38

again. So she well

54:38

except a wolf.

54:43

I didn't think I could

54:43

get worse apparently it can.

54:45

So I'm a wolf walks up

54:45

to her while she's in the pool.

54:50

And she's like, Oh, fuck, and

54:50

but she knows it's Noah so she

54:53

feels safe. It's fine. And she's

54:53

like, I don't know her aura.

55:03

chakra

55:09

she has her heart chakra

55:09

she has her chakras aligned with

55:12

Wolf chakras. There are more

55:12

wolf chakras than human chakra.

55:15

Wade comes

55:16

up them behind her

55:16

naked. And

55:21

we have human on human

55:21

on wolf action Tammen.

55:25

So he's like, Oh, she he

55:25

just wants you to be comfortable

55:28

in his wolf form. So they

55:28

explained to her, hey, guess

55:32

what? We've both made it with

55:32

you. And she's like, What the

55:35

fuck does that mean? Like

55:35

they've marked her so she has

55:37

this like, weird bite mark on

55:37

her neck that she's had since

55:39

they had sex together. And

55:39

they're like, guess

55:42

what? You had no choice

55:42

in the matter. We Romain.

55:45

We've made it with you.

55:45

You're like, in in wolf terms.

55:49

That means you're our wife now.

55:49

But, but we will let you go

55:55

home. If you don't want to stay

55:55

here. If you don't want to stay

55:57

here. You and the family will go

55:57

for you. We talked about it with

56:00

Alex like, you have a choice.

56:00

You don't have to stay here. And

56:04

she's like, really? I want to go

56:04

home and that they have sex.

56:08

Is that the end of the

56:08

book? No. Okay, it's

56:10

almost over. Okay, so

56:10

close. So they have they have

56:14

sex in the Steam Room. The next

56:14

morning, she wakes up really

56:17

early. And like gets cleaned up

56:17

and sees her family again. It

56:22

says we're all going home. We've

56:22

worked it out. It's okay.

56:27

They worked it out.

56:28

Yeah, they sure did. Oh,

56:28

they worked sup that like fact a

56:31

couple of things. And they

56:31

actually had to breakfast with

56:38

like the Alpha leader, Noah and

56:38

Wade. And this the Sable. And

56:45

the brothers can tell that

56:45

there's something going on with

56:47

Janice. And Janice isn't saying

56:47

anything. They just noticed that

56:51

she's really sad and depressed.

56:51

And so like Janice, like it's

56:55

really over emotional and runs

56:55

out of the room. And it's like,

56:58

I can't deal with this. I can't

56:58

she is a woman. She is a woman,

57:01

right? Your ovaries were just

57:01

like bouncing or a uterus,

57:04

uterus, excuse me, which is

57:04

bouncing everywhere across her

57:07

body. And so she like goes

57:07

outside to get a breath of fresh

57:10

air. Because she's allowed to do

57:10

that now. And actually, Alex is

57:16

the one who follows her and says

57:16

like, Hey, I know the choice he

57:20

made. But I don't think it's the

57:20

right choice. And I think you

57:22

should stay here with us. I

57:22

think you'll be happier here

57:24

like they've chosen you to be

57:24

there, mate. Yeah,

57:26

you know what? That's a

57:26

really good point. And I think I

57:30

am going to listen to the psychopath that kidnapped my sister and her children and then

57:32

separated them and then also

57:34

said that I couldn't believe

57:34

Yeah, yeah. Seems like a

57:37

trustworthy person to believe. Well,

57:39

that's pretty much her

57:39

thought too. So she packs up her

57:43

stuff, she and she in the family

57:43

get ready to leave. And at the

57:47

very, very, very, very, very,

57:47

very, very, very, very, very,

57:52

very, very, very last minute,

57:52

she turns around, and runs to

57:57

into Noah and Wade's arms and

57:57

stays there. And he's like,

58:01

Nope, I'm staying here. I love

58:01

these two men. I can't leave

58:05

them. And God, just so Jonas and

58:05

Jude are like, What the fuck is

58:11

happening? What are you talking

58:11

about? Because they had no idea

58:15

that she was like in a sexual

58:15

relationship at all with these

58:17

two men. And she's like, No,

58:19

it's totally cool. Sable.

58:20

Can you explain to them

58:20

and stables like, I got you

58:22

girl. It's fine. Like, she'll be

58:22

fine here. Don't worry, her men

58:27

will protect her.

58:30

Please tell me that's

58:30

the end of the book. It is. So

58:33

there's like one more

58:33

sexy between the three is the

58:37

the seven where it's seven,

58:37

seven. So there's one more sex

58:41

scene and basically, they all

58:41

tell each other that they love

58:45

each other and

58:47

have been together for

58:47

like two weeks. They had no no,

58:50

they have no interactions. Three

58:50

times two of them were sex.

58:56

Before she said that she loved

58:56

them. Right? No one else has

58:58

known about this right? This is

58:58

they weren't even in the same

59:03

half of the country for half of

59:03

this book. Right.

59:10

So let's just get last

59:10

let me get to the last few

59:14

pages. Joe I got it. Well, I

59:14

want to make sure I don't

59:17

anything was Oh my God. Oh,

59:17

yeah. So yeah, they uh it's

59:22

really weird too. Because they

59:22

tell her they're like we want

59:25

you to stay. We want you to stay

59:25

and she's like, but then later

59:29

on she like second guesses as

59:29

she's like, but they love each

59:32

other. They don't love me

59:33

Did they ever discuss

59:33

them magically being interested

59:38

in this woman one woman and also

59:38

way magically not being jealous

59:42

anymore?

59:44

I mean, like the we'll

59:44

get into another the covers.

59:48

Oh, good. Yeah. So do

59:48

you want to ask me about this

59:52

book? No, because I never want

59:52

to think about it again. I I

59:57

cannot

1:00:00

meant I just like cannot

1:00:00

fathom one the lack of emotional

1:00:07

connection between anybody in

1:00:07

this book right? The thought

1:00:12

process that went into

1:00:12

kidnapping someone and then

1:00:15

magically deciding

1:00:19

deciding now I'm not

1:00:19

gonna rape this person to

1:00:21

impregnate her like that seems

1:00:21

like a bad idea. Yeah, like I

1:00:24

was on board

1:00:25

with it before but now I

1:00:25

see her gay he was in a

1:00:29

relationship with

1:00:30

Noah and that's right so

1:00:30

I don't know if he's gay or

1:00:33

bisexual but like, I pretty sure

1:00:33

Alex is also gay. Oh, yeah,

1:00:39

because Alex is also sleeping

1:00:39

with Roy

1:00:48

I, I know that at the

1:00:48

beginning of each episode, we

1:00:51

say we're gonna unpack what the

1:00:51

fuck just happened. I

1:00:53

legitimately think this is too

1:00:53

much to unpack. We can all okay,

1:00:59

listeners. In lieu of going

1:00:59

through and fully breaking down

1:01:06

everything. I'm just going to

1:01:06

give you all the Cliff Notes. Of

1:01:09

here is Rachel's list of things

1:01:09

that we can all agree on. women

1:01:15

or people? Yeah. You need to

1:01:15

have an emotional connection

1:01:19

with someone where you probably

1:01:19

can say that you love them. Yes.

1:01:23

A sad person that you have an

1:01:23

emotional sense, or persons who

1:01:28

you have an emotional connection

1:01:28

with and love must have a

1:01:31

personality of some kind.

1:01:35

Rape is bad. Get that

1:01:38

because bad kidnapping is bad.

1:01:40

separating children from

1:01:40

their parents is bad. Yes. And

1:01:46

sexuality is a spectrum.

1:01:46

However, on and off switch. You

1:01:51

don't just magically become

1:01:51

attracted to one person of the

1:01:55

opposite gender. I'm not gonna

1:01:55

speak for everyone. I just gotta

1:01:59

say usually, that's not how it

1:01:59

works. It's not like all of your

1:02:03

heterosexuality is concentrated

1:02:03

in one person. Realize how much

1:02:11

Britney Spears would be mobbed

1:02:11

by the gays if that was true.

1:02:15

Baby.

1:02:16

She already is by the

1:02:16

gays.

1:02:19

Baby I love you. I'm so

1:02:19

gay for you. I should excuse me,

1:02:25

let me just do my clap on

1:02:25

bisexuality. I

1:02:27

am straight for one person.

1:02:30

I have the clap on gay

1:02:30

Thus ends the list. Yes. Um, I

1:02:34

still don't think these are two

1:02:34

separate humans. I think the

1:02:37

only reason that they split into

1:02:37

two people was for the kinky

1:02:41

sex. Well, it's

1:02:42

for the key sex. I feel

1:02:42

like I just read someone's

1:02:45

really really really bad

1:02:45

fanfiction like and luckily I'm

1:02:49

not friends with the author so I

1:02:49

don't have to be nice to her.

1:02:52

This is my polyamorous

1:02:52

like in Scientology fanfiction.

1:03:03

When did you write this?

1:03:03

Wait a minute. You didn't write

1:03:05

that Zack.

1:03:06

Look, it was a long night. There was a lot of alcohol involved. I was I was

1:03:08

getting into some deep shit.

1:03:13

Oh, you got a deep real

1:03:13

deep.

1:03:17

How many holes?

1:03:19

Oh you'll see. Please

1:03:19

meet us under the cover.

1:03:33

Okay, no. Okay. Are two guys.

1:03:35

Oh, right. Um, can we

1:03:35

write them at the same? Yeah,

1:03:39

one. Okay. Our girl one.

1:03:42

I'm sorry. The boys,

1:03:42

which was a one. Girl I'm gonna

1:03:47

just girl girl one one

1:03:49

plot negative for

1:03:53

the sex. Oh,

1:03:56

do I have to write the sex?

1:03:58

Yes, you must write the

1:03:58

sex Gods

1:04:02

a zero. Now. Now it's

1:04:02

like less. Like negative to a

1:04:11

particular part of the sex that

1:04:11

I will get into that is like,

1:04:14

Oh, no. I mean zero. Like zero.

1:04:14

I lost brain cells reading this

1:04:22

book. Like they and when I say

1:04:22

lost. I mean like they were

1:04:26

reading this and we're like,

1:04:26

this is the end we're jumping.

1:04:30

Like we're jumping off the

1:04:30

cliff. We're sacrificing

1:04:34

ourselves I'm

1:04:34

so glad we have lined

1:04:34

for tonight. Jesus

1:04:37

right so is this was so

1:04:37

bad. Yeah, this was really bad.

1:04:41

But also damn entertaining.

1:04:41

Hilarious. I cannot wait for

1:04:46

stairs episode.

1:04:47

So good. So what were

1:04:47

you consuming in the off times?

1:04:51

Um,

1:04:51

so I am still just

1:04:51

totally a slot for tick tock

1:04:55

like just a hole for tick tock.

1:04:55

But also I've been reading House

1:04:59

of Leaves which It's my third

1:04:59

time trying to read this book we

1:05:03

were talking about there. Yeah.

1:05:03

And it's it's really really

1:05:05

good. It's um, I think it's like

1:05:05

one of those though where it's

1:05:09

like some books are meant to be

1:05:09

like, thoroughly digested and

1:05:13

you really have to like write

1:05:13

yourself into it every time you

1:05:16

open the book. You can't just

1:05:16

like have you know, like this

1:05:19

book I was like, we like okay,

1:05:19

let's just get the fuck through

1:05:22

this. That book you got to like

1:05:22

really

1:05:24

know on that's that's

1:05:24

how I feel with Erin Morgenstern

1:05:28

it's second

1:05:29

right right. Yeah. So

1:05:29

I've been reading that right

1:05:33

now. I do have a big stack I'm

1:05:33

still working through this like

1:05:36

big stack of library books. I

1:05:36

got like it's so nice um, yeah,

1:05:41

and that's nice. That's really

1:05:41

all I got we have a new

1:05:45

president which is awesome still

1:05:45

kind of riding that high? Yeah,

1:05:49

yeah, pretty good. Yeah,

1:05:49

slippery good to spend our

1:05:52

evening Hobbiton

1:05:54

having having a habit

1:05:54

feast and watching Lord of the

1:05:57

Rings so Hey guys, thank you for

1:05:57

going on this fucking wild ass

1:06:00

ride Jesus Yeah, the I'm so glad

1:06:00

I was

1:06:05

on this it was it's a

1:06:05

lot so and if you're gonna join

1:06:09

us for under the covers get

1:06:09

ready it's really fun. Okay, get

1:06:13

your strap out Yeah.

1:06:15

Strap the fuck on yeah

1:06:18

yeah, all right.

1:06:19

We love you all.

1:06:21

Thank you Eleanor you

1:06:21

for the use of your song a love

1:06:23

of the album be held and Hey,

1:06:23

thank you guys for listening and

1:06:27

we'll see you soon see you in

1:06:27

two weeks or under the covers

1:06:31

both

1:06:44

audio present storage

1:07:45

welcome are five residents and

1:07:45

congratulations on being part of

1:07:49

this exciting adventure. Even

1:07:49

selected as one of the lucky few

1:07:54

to be a part of our team at the

1:07:54

Prometheus project. As board

1:07:58

director, I want to say thank

1:07:58

you for your participation are

1:08:02

by the Isaaq independence Bill

1:08:02

deserve your every our engineers

1:08:08

we work around the clock to make

1:08:08

sure you are as comfortable as

1:08:11

possible down there. Speaking of

1:08:11

Concord, you will be able to

1:08:15

relax and enjoy your state or a

1:08:15

personalized state of the art

1:08:18

Coronavirus to stand aside close

1:08:18

your eyes before he knows that

1:08:23

every time you go out into that

1:08:23

brave new world. Our research

1:08:28

team resident overhydration

1:08:28

though he set up for all of us

1:08:33

here at the board we hope you

1:08:33

enjoy your time down here and

1:08:36

thank you for your personal

1:08:36

contribution to the creek is

1:08:41

where the end storage from yours

1:09:01

Hi, this is Savannah, one of the

1:09:01

producers of cold storage. Thank

1:09:05

you so much for listening to our

1:09:05

trailer and we hope that you

1:09:08

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