0:04

Hello, and welcome to the Adam Friedland show of the

0:06

podcast I'm joined with Nick.

0:09

Slo

0:10

Slova, Ukraine -- Uh-oh.

0:11

-- heavy Ukrainey, everybody.

0:13

We just got the two boys today. It's International

0:16

Women's Day. We wanna talk about the women who are

0:18

a lot. Slova Womens. Which

0:22

women do you do you think of when

0:24

you think of international women say? Who who

0:26

comes to mind? It's

0:29

weird. I guess the Michelin Man was the first thing

0:31

that popped into my head. It was a man

0:34

but fat. So that's that's

0:36

like a Womens. gotta go fat ass.

0:38

I feel like fat belongs to women now.

0:41

It belongs to women. Yeah. I think

0:43

they killed all of we had all the fat guys.

0:46

Uh-huh. They're off those those are It's

0:48

a very male thing to be fat.

0:49

Yeah. They killed Pelosi, they killed John Kandi,

0:51

they killed Chris Barr. There

0:52

is kind of government conspiracy. All those guys

0:55

Friedland then suddenly, that's,

0:57

like, what you had seven, eight, maybe

0:59

maybe fifteen years later after

1:01

that.

1:01

Uh-huh. It's

1:02

nothing but women

1:04

taking being fat and making it something that's

1:06

not fun.

1:06

You don't hear that enough, I guess. Yeah. The

1:09

only the real the the only hero

1:11

of that whole Melissa McCarthy

1:13

did good work, but -- Mhmm. --

1:15

she was cast aside by her

1:18

some of her contemporaries. So this

1:20

is it kinda like the same people that got

1:22

her, kind of

1:23

got bullshit in them, but

1:25

they just couldn't kill The

1:27

the the deep state could No. I think there was there

1:29

was probably some kind of, like, whether

1:32

it was explicit or not, like, an aesthetic

1:35

argument as to what being a big fat

1:37

bitch was gonna be in in

1:39

in between the years twenty two

1:41

thousand five and twenty twelve. I'd

1:43

say. For that those were the years. Yeah. And

1:45

you had the Melissa McCarthy's and

1:48

the

1:50

well, Melissa is really the only one I can think

1:52

of. And

1:52

then you have to have been more. There's Melissa McCarthy's,

1:55

and then there's The view

1:56

usually has a big a big old girl.

1:58

I'm not including the view. The view is sort of its

2:00

own thing. Yeah. I know that

2:02

you do organize the world in that way in

2:04

your mind. What? You you've said that a number

2:06

of times to me that the view doesn't doesn't

2:08

kind of correspond with if

2:10

the view is its own discrete universe,

2:14

right, in your mind.

2:16

What

2:16

do you mean? They are kind of like

2:18

the aliens playing marbles at

2:20

the end of Well, they don't determine anything

2:23

in black. Okay. The the view is is

2:25

necessarily a reaction. To culture.

2:27

They don't Oh, okay. Alright.

2:29

Nobody's getting their ideas from the view.

2:32

I I get plenty of ideas from Yeah.

2:34

I wouldn't say So whoopi had a couple ideas

2:36

about the holidays.

2:37

Anyways, they were trying to figure out what

2:39

being a big bitch was gonna be. Uh-huh. And on

2:41

the I didn't even think we were gonna get into this

2:43

conference. I was ready to talk about Ukraine.

2:46

But

2:47

I guess, you know, they

2:49

they get down to the they couldn't decide

2:51

what they want, and there was there was people doing good

2:53

work caring on, you

2:56

know, they weren't seeing it in terms of gender, like

2:58

Melissa McCarthy. And then sort

3:00

of, you know, Linde West was kind of in the middle.

3:03

Because she used to be funny back when she wrote

3:05

for the stranger, but then she was really she was sort

3:07

of the Benedict Arnold of the whole thing. And

3:09

then she she decided let's make

3:11

being a big bitch not fun. Uh-huh. You

3:14

know? Yeah. And then that's when it became

3:16

about, like, being an ice cream commercials and

3:19

you know, yeah, getting angry.

3:22

Yeah. Saying that you should be the president

3:24

of the United States. I don't think any of them said

3:26

that. That's the funniest thing about it is

3:28

none of the fat activists has ever

3:30

been, like and we need a fat woman present.

3:32

No. I didn't hear you guys. They know that

3:34

that would be too

3:35

I think you're absolutely right. They know they've been like,

3:38

alright, come on. We're not

3:40

crazy here. That's

3:43

totally true. We just wanna be in the and

3:45

honestly, a lot of they are pretty reasonable.

3:48

Like, yeah, it should be fat women in

3:50

the ice cream commercials. Uh-huh. They're the ones

3:52

buying the fucking ice

3:53

cream. Yeah.

3:55

That is kind of insulting. Yeah. You

3:58

know? But then, like, when it comes

4:00

to, like, I don't know, something a fat woman wouldn't

4:02

do. Seems like those are the ones that are in

4:05

that have the fat ladies in the commercials. Like

4:07

what? I

4:08

don't know. Like a Nike commercial. Yeah.

4:11

But that's who's doing exercises. Fat people

4:13

trying to -- No. -- that's who's doing exercise and

4:15

also buying the most expensive clothes. Is

4:18

the people the people that, like, that if I if

4:20

you see a commercial, it's like some fat lady doing

4:22

yoga, we're earning, like, nine hundred dollars worth

4:24

of yoga

4:25

clothes. It's like, that's exactly who's doing exercise.

4:27

Can you imagine if they charged

4:29

by the, like, amount of textile

4:31

in in an item of clothing? They do.

4:33

They do. Yeah. Large sizes are If

4:35

you get A2X, it's the same price as

4:38

a small number. Yeah. But three x and how usually

4:40

they scale up. Oh, really? Yeah. You

4:42

do that. You sell shirts. P09 of

4:44

which don't sell 33X. I'm selling

4:46

shirts

4:47

again. I heard you sold out. I did.

4:49

Yeah. Sami told me you sold out. Yeah. Yeah.

4:52

And we are we we are gonna be getting

4:55

some

4:55

stuff for the show out as well. We haven't

4:57

had that conversation and that's sort of an

4:59

disagree. You've kind of had that conversation multiple

5:02

times and you've kind of said I don't think

5:03

I don't think t shirts are the move. I don't think

5:05

t shirts are the move. Yeah. No. Hatch.

5:08

I'm gonna I said a leatherman leatherman

5:10

jacket. Leatherman jacket tie clip.

5:12

Yeah. Something for like

5:14

a kind of

5:15

Listen. Like, does something to reflect the maturity

5:18

of the show?

5:18

Right. Yeah. You know, like exploding cigar

5:20

perhaps. Yes. As

5:23

flour that squirts, maybe a stretch

5:26

that you could throw in the wall and it turns into

5:28

a hole that you can reach

5:29

through. That would be, like, kind

5:30

of, like, an me Like, there is any tuning tune tune

5:33

tune tune tune tune tune tune tune tune tune tune tune. We'll be

5:35

selling holes. Mhmm.

5:38

Yeah. Well, eventually,

5:39

we'll be getting some of that. Also,

5:41

Patient really work on inventing that.

5:44

They should. Yeah. Of course. I mean, it would

5:46

take that kind of quantum physics. That's probably the

5:48

biggest l of science fiction. Because science

5:50

fiction, they they they pride themselves

5:53

on, like, oh, every every bit of technology

5:55

we have now. So I love when,

5:57

like, fucking the science fiction, nerds do that.

5:59

They're like, Yeah. Well, if it weren't for Star

6:01

Trek,

6:01

it's all for Star Trek. It's like

6:02

what? Because some guy fucking did

6:05

no work for

6:05

the thing. Some guy didn't So guy didn't invent

6:08

anything at all. He was like, yeah, what if there

6:10

was a machine that sucked your dick and it was also a race

6:12

car that went eight hundred million miles an

6:13

hour. How how would work? I have no

6:15

idea. That would be cool, though. Does that exist?

6:17

What did they say? Eighty years from now, you're

6:19

like, well, it looks like we all owe a big thank

6:22

you to Bob getting your dick sucked in a

6:24

race car for coming up with that

6:26

idea. If it were

6:28

for Jean Rodder or Jean Rodder had fucking

6:30

electric cars, Is that that

6:32

was predicted by sergeant?

6:34

No. But there's other bullets, like The fucking

6:36

thing The thing where you where you

6:38

can, like, zoom in your body. Yeah.

6:40

There Yeah. Everybody has, like, a you

6:43

can just contact anyone by the communicator. Yeah.

6:45

But that's just a phone. Yeah. I mean, Alexander

6:48

Graham Bell predicted

6:49

They had Netflix two ways.

6:51

Yeah. Yeah. The yeah. The

6:53

two way pager. Mhmm. Yeah. Anyways,

6:55

this is we're doing two things on this

6:58

episode. We're talking about Bencrine, which I

7:00

finally got into. I finally you're into it

7:02

now? I finally took the time to Well,

7:04

now they got good news. Started the conclusion

7:06

first. They got good videos now.

7:08

So

7:09

you can watch Should plug it up. Yeah.

7:11

What did you say? I don't know. Just like, you

7:13

know, it's like watching modern warfare.

7:15

Yeah. It is very modern

7:16

warfare. Yeah. It's cool. It is cool.

7:18

Yeah. It's really cool stuff

7:20

to Uh-huh. Yeah. It's white owned,

7:22

white violence. And then celebrating the life

7:25

and work of of Britney Murphy.

7:27

Because we're coming up on the on

7:30

the probably thirteenth anniversary

7:33

of her death, which I think was

7:35

sometime in late August.

7:37

Mhmm. What about that? She wanted

7:39

she wanted to get that or something. Was that she

7:42

wanted to get that? Yeah. think her husband

7:44

ate her. And her husband ate her. Yeah. I think she was

7:46

eaten by I think she was

7:48

eaten by mice in her apartment if

7:50

I remember correctly. Great. Mhmm.

7:54

Then, I mean, not a day it goes by where

7:57

I don't think about her. Yeah. And

8:00

getting fucked on on those

8:02

shelves by eminent in

8:04

the

8:05

factory. That's in the factory. Yeah. That

8:07

was a seminal sex scene in our in our

8:09

childhood. Yeah. That says

8:11

boys. Yeah. What were they making in that factory?

8:13

Something with cars, I think. Yeah. It's Detroit.

8:17

I really wanna I'll go back and edit

8:20

that scene and put in the looney tunes factory

8:22

music while he's

8:23

fucking. What

8:24

they should have been making was That's really what happens to

8:26

damn roles. Detroit fell apart because they stopped playing

8:28

that song in the factory. In

8:34

the sixties, it's just why do we keep

8:36

wasting all this money, licensing this song? To

8:38

play it every day. Yeah. And then people got

8:40

lazy, and then they did race riots.

8:42

No. That's not what happened, dude. They weakened unions.

8:45

Yeah. Yeah. And that was in the collective

8:47

bargaining agreement because because the factory

8:49

guys wanted that zone. Yeah. But then

8:51

the bosses -- Mhmm. -- they fucking make

8:53

a dollar. The guys

8:56

make a

8:56

dime. Can I tell you that movie horrible bosses?

8:58

Yeah. It should be about those

8:59

fucking guys.

9:00

Fucking the auto. Mhmm. Wasn't

9:04

that movie? Harbor Bosses, and

9:06

I have no idea. I

9:12

don't remember it at all. Yeah. Well,

9:15

sounds like a good movie. Anyway, when

9:17

when did you learn about the

9:18

Ukraine? Let's talk about

9:20

it. Nothing. Nothing. You just Well, it's very funny

9:23

if you look at, like, an interactive

9:25

map of, like, the front line of the war.

9:27

It's, like, like, you

9:30

know, it'll be like, oh, the shit that happened in the beginning.

9:32

And then it's just, like, it's just a static

9:34

image basically for the last fucking year

9:36

and a half. And you're like, there's a video still

9:38

playing. There's just nothing. It's just P09, fuck it. They're

9:40

just all, like, just dying. They're just standing

9:42

up there. It's like French

9:43

warfare. Yeah. Nothing is fucking happening.

9:46

You think it's it's that's the plan

9:48

so we could keep selling weapons? What?

9:50

That's what people say. I don't think there's a plan.

9:53

No. The plan is that because we're out of Iraq

9:55

and Afghanistan, now we gotta we gotta

9:57

flip weapons --

9:58

Mhmm. -- told Zelensky Yeah.

10:01

Yeah. You know what, they should be selling?

10:03

What? The numb holes that go through the

10:06

go right in the Putin's bedroom.

10:09

Oh, yeah. The looney tooth. The looney tooth. Yeah.

10:12

Does those go anywhere? I think it's just AAA

10:14

void. Oh, really? It's like a black hole.

10:16

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit.

10:18

I haven't thought about it. What's on the other

10:20

side? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think there is another side.

10:22

I think there's just like a gravity well. Yeah.

10:25

Then you can put and it just it just destroys

10:27

all

10:27

matter. Yeah. But time

10:29

is part of that. So you can pull your hand

10:31

out, and your hand is being destroyed

10:34

as you

10:34

put it on.

10:35

But then when you pull it out, it's reversing time.

10:38

Yeah. So it's being recreated. Would you

10:40

do the would you if it was at

10:42

a glory hell whole height. Right?

10:45

Would you put your penis into it to know

10:47

what it's like to be a lady on the

10:49

International Women's

10:49

Day? More than you could just put the you'd

10:52

put the whole when you

10:54

put the poll around your

10:55

dick. You put the poll

10:56

around your dick, then your penis wouldn't exist.

10:59

And then maybe you'd have clarity for the fact

11:01

that you're saying you wouldn't put hole on a wall

11:03

and then put your dick in and then feel like lady

11:06

you cover your dick with that you the

11:08

other way. You could do it either way. I don't think

11:10

so. You could put the hole here Uh-huh.

11:12

And then your insides would be

11:14

this sort of just this destructive

11:16

void. And then that's what it would feel like to be a woman.

11:20

Oh, because their bodies are killing them at all

11:22

times. Yeah. I guess, if you think if

11:24

you got like endometriosis

11:25

or something. Well, we

11:26

always love the name of that. What is it?

11:28

I think it's guy that invented Ferraris. I

11:31

think it's I thought it was, like, Indo.

11:34

Yeah. I thought Indo Mitriosis. Uh-huh.

11:36

They they they don't call weed

11:38

indoor anymore.

11:39

I know.

11:39

That was a nineties hip

11:41

hop phrase. Yeah. You

11:43

know

11:44

what I mean? Nineties. You

11:46

remember that that damn decade? I feel bad

11:48

for these kids.

11:49

Yeah. They're growing up with fucking just

11:51

immediate access to fucking

11:53

hardcore pornography all their classmates.

11:56

We had to work hard for -- Yeah. -- just their fucking

11:58

all the other girls in fourth grade. They've got an

12:00

only fans

12:00

already.

12:01

Yeah. They can just see their voices.

12:03

Yeah. They don't have to the luxury of things

12:06

like skip it or fucking fruit by the

12:08

foot -- Yeah. -- or imagining the girls'

12:10

plushies and assholes. Yeah. To

12:12

be really discussing,

12:15

and then you find out that, and then you get married to

12:17

her because she's one of the only girls in the town.

12:19

Do people still live that

12:20

way? What? Where it's like

12:22

a town town? Yeah. Yeah. Where they

12:24

they have,

12:24

like, six girls they can get married to. I,

12:27

like yeah. I mean, people still live in small towns.

12:30

They're not moving here and going to NYU.

12:33

Mhmm. Being fucking horrors? No. No. No. No.

12:35

I guess so. I guess maybe they are. I don't know.

12:37

Really? Yeah. I kinda wish

12:39

I grew up that way in a small town. Yeah.

12:42

What what would you be doing? Oh,

12:44

you know everyone? You go to the bootmaker?

12:47

Yeah. You

12:47

go to the bakery. You

12:50

go to the bakery, you man? Yeah. Yeah.

12:52

Small town. I don't think I could handle, but, like,

12:54

a medieval, like like

12:56

village.

12:57

Yeah. I would be I would love

12:59

that.

13:00

If you were to serve, Yeah. Just no. I don't

13:02

know how to read. All the signs have to be

13:04

cartoons. Yeah. I don't like,

13:06

I can't I don't even know. Like, if you wrote church, I

13:08

wouldn't know that that's a church. It's gotta be just

13:10

gotta have cross on there. Yeah. For the

13:12

picture, you know, it's gotta be brand it's gotta be

13:14

a picture you have to draw the brand.

13:17

Yeah. Right. don't know why they're fucking inventing

13:19

letters.

13:19

It's a simple very simple systems.

13:21

There's one homeless guy.

13:23

Yeah. And

13:23

he's also the one mentally in handicapped

13:26

eye. Yeah. My name will be Everyone's like that's

13:28

the idiot. My name will be scissors and my

13:30

my father's name with scissors and what I do

13:32

is because he makes his Well, I cut things. You cut.

13:34

Yeah. I got a giant pair of scissors. So

13:37

if you need something caught, I can do that. You

13:40

wanna open a mall on your guide. Don't

13:42

ask me what a mall

13:43

is. I have no idea,

13:44

but there's a

13:45

big ribbon. You're you're

13:46

fucking that shit up. Yeah. You're slicing

13:48

some scissors. Yeah. And

13:50

I constantly have infections. Yeah.

13:52

Yeah.

13:53

You don't wipe your ass. That smells worse

13:55

in my ass. Can you My ass more. It

13:57

smells What? Bag in the middle

13:59

ages? You get you probably get

14:01

used to it though. You think so? Yeah.

14:04

Absolutely. Oh. Disgusting.

14:07

Yeah. You act to it. Like, I mean, do you think people

14:09

like, going around India being, like, the well,

14:11

whatever. I'm not gonna make that point. But,

14:13

you know, I've been imagine that in the

14:15

in the middle ages, they didn't I mean, there had

14:17

to have been a smelly guy. You

14:20

know, I mean, village idiots. And then so but

14:22

he's gotta be so much further

14:24

away than the rest of

14:26

them. It kinda is that they got a baseline. It's kinda

14:28

the same system, right, where we make our

14:30

mentally, like, insane people

14:32

live outside.

14:34

But back in the day, there was only one

14:36

guy. There's

14:37

only a guy that had a house. The king, you mean? No. No.

14:39

There was one guy who was the village idiot.

14:41

And everyone's like, oh, that's the schizophrenia guy.

14:43

We all love him. His name's Larry. He's like a mascot

14:46

for the town. Mhmm. Right? But nowadays,

14:49

There's a there's

14:51

Yeah. I don't You ever notice the year in New York

14:53

City? There's anything about it. It's,

14:55

like, would having down syndrome even be

14:57

a detriment in the year fourteen, seven

14:59

to figure whatnot. Yeah. It's like -- Right.

15:02

-- oh, boy. He's never gonna learn how to read. No

15:04

problem. That's true. That's fine. Yeah.

15:06

He's strong. He's yeah. He's oh, he's stronger

15:09

than the other

15:09

people. Yeah. Yeah. He loves Candy.

15:11

Well, that doesn't even exist.

15:13

So Candy, we can see the concept.

15:15

Right. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It's

15:17

just like, no. There's nothing to worry.

15:19

Really? You're chilling. Yeah. There's

15:21

no books. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In

15:24

fact, you're, like, probably better

15:26

at dealing with having a miserable

15:28

life as a surf. Yeah. Yeah. You probably

15:30

see how the bright side of things Yeah. Much better

15:32

than Yeah. To be the village, early idiot,

15:35

I guess, you just had to be that was probably

15:37

just the gay guy, honestly. I

15:39

don't think it was the the down syndrome.

15:41

Yeah. That guy is really yeah. Yeah.

15:45

That guy's right. That guy's right. Well, I'm always should have

15:48

taught it. And they're like, you know,

15:50

whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

15:52

There's something different about you? Whoa. Whoa.

15:54

Whoa. Whoa.

15:56

Yeah. He lost P09 He lost

15:59

me stupid. He lost me stupid.

16:01

Yeah. And then they put Everyone was the villager.

16:03

Yeah. That guy was probably the smartest guy in

16:05

town. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm.

16:07

Prancing around --

16:09

Mhmm. -- having sex with the king.

16:11

Hopefully,

16:11

this episode doesn't get us in trouble. Oh my

16:13

god. We

16:16

really gotta change our tune. Yeah. If

16:18

we wanna recruit top celebrities to the

16:20

show, we can't be doing this kind of crap. I gotta

16:22

just stick on the things I know that I can

16:24

play today, play safe on. Sesame Street,

16:26

looney tunes, Ukraine.

16:29

What's safe

16:30

comedy? I don't know. Yeah,

16:32

definitely not everything I've been saying. I'll tell

16:34

you what,

16:37

I am suit I'm

16:39

trying to hold it together. I am super irritable.

16:42

This is day

16:42

two. Not of it,

16:45

but not vaping. You

16:47

could hit the air if you

16:48

wanna yeah. No. I just wanna

16:50

I I wanna fucking just burn

16:55

this building to the ground. The entire

16:57

thing? Yeah. It's nice building. It was

16:59

built nineteen twenty something, think.

17:01

That's not

17:02

true. You're

17:03

just guessing.

17:04

I'll look it

17:05

up right now. Yeah. You have no idea. You have

17:07

never looked it up. You don't know. No.

17:09

It's Art Deco. What

17:11

do you mean is art? It's just a style

17:12

inside. It's a white building. Outfront is

17:14

Art Dec. I'm gonna look it up. You think this

17:16

building is nineteen twenty? I'm

17:19

gonna say nineteen twenty four. Nineteen twenty

17:21

four. But you're guessing. You don't know. You presented

17:23

it as if you had this information. You

17:27

do this all the time. I was

17:29

wrong. Yeah. Of course, you're wrong. Were you

17:32

were you resist built? Up or down? Down.

17:34

Of course. Like, down meaning earlier. Okay.

17:36

When you mean up or down? It's

17:39

time. Yeah.

17:41

So next year, I'm going up to no.

17:44

We're going up to twenty thirty four

17:46

earlier. It's still earlier.

17:49

Earlier. Yeah.

17:50

Much earlier. Nineteen o seven. Yeah.

17:53

Much earlier. That's fucking it's twenty years.

17:55

That's ballpark.

17:55

Mhmm. That's P09 depression. Mhmm.

17:58

What do you mean? You're wrong. Please.

18:02

So you were trying to I didn't even I didn't even wanna

18:04

play this game in your room. You know what style the building

18:06

is? What

18:07

style? Yeah. I

18:09

mean, I don't we're in a just a

18:11

It says a P09. Congrats. Our

18:13

building has a Wikipedia pit. I've never looked

18:15

at the outside of the building. We walk up

18:17

on the what are you vaping on? I'm not gonna

18:19

hit it. Stop

18:19

it. I'm not gonna

18:21

hit it. I just wanna see the thing. And

18:24

it looks new to me. It

18:28

is

18:31

clear. No flavor. Clear.

18:33

Can I see it? I just

18:35

wanna look at it. I'm not gonna fucking hit it.

18:39

Lava plus. Yeah. It's

18:41

it's from China. That's how you know. It's just unscrew.

18:44

No. Don't break it. I'm not breaking it.

18:47

It looks like it unscrews.

18:49

Did

18:49

you have play dates when you were a kid?

18:51

No. No. You didn't. No. Because you would

18:54

have done that. Then what? On

18:55

Like, someone no. Someone's playing no. No. Someone's

18:58

playing, like, n64, you would have, like, like,

19:00

been, like, Let's see if we can Oh, my soda

19:02

shit. My soda spilled on it. No.

19:04

Why why would I do that? Just destroy somebody's stuff.

19:08

This looks like it unscrews. Stop

19:11

it. It's it's delicate. No,

19:13

it's not. It's very well built. It

19:15

is. Certainly passes the unscrewing pass.

19:17

Stop hitting it. I'm just logged. It's

19:20

nice. Brought you by

19:22

Lobba Plus. Lava plus an

19:24

art new vaux style or building. Okay.

19:28

Oh, well, I mean, it's like it's just it's

19:30

a white box. Well, the

19:32

front of it, the the facade. I

19:34

have no I I have literally no idea what this

19:36

building looks like on the outside. They got rid

19:38

of this scaffolding. Is

19:41

that our building, though? That's our building? I know

19:43

I know where the door is. I can't tell where

19:45

the fucking it's the part

19:47

that's white. Yeah. Alright. Well,

19:50

what's going on with you this week? Maybe you can pitch

19:52

a topic. A topic. went

19:54

to the top of the Freedom Tower for the first time

19:56

this week. That's pretty

19:57

cool. Spectacular. Yeah. Yeah.

20:00

There were no clouds that day, great visibility.

20:02

You see, we saw you could see all the way to

20:04

Connecticut. Yeah. Just just being on

20:06

top of the Freedom Tower and walking up to a Muslim

20:08

family up there and just being like, I gotta

20:11

tell

20:11

you, at first, didn't know what

20:13

you guys were thinking, but this is fucking

20:16

nice. Yeah. They wanted a little remodel.

20:18

This is way better.

20:22

I I was I

20:25

was a little bit afraid of, you

20:27

know, what falling or another

20:30

Another terrorist another terrorist

20:32

attack? I mean, it would be pretty funny if

20:34

they hit that tower again. I hit it

20:37

twice the first time.

20:38

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

20:40

That's a fool meets wife.

20:42

Yeah. Yeah. They should've just gotten

20:44

rid of one of them.

20:46

Yeah.

20:47

Why they have

20:47

to do too? Honestly, I like, from from

20:49

a if you only

20:52

blew up one of the towers -- Mhmm.

20:54

Then you have this other tower there.

20:56

And it's like, well, what do we do? Reboot the

20:58

fucking the other one? Uh-huh. Because then

21:01

it's just the same towers. Nobody's

21:03

gonna fucking P09. that they already blew up

21:05

one of them, you know, they're coming for other one.

21:07

Right. It would be it said, you gotta

21:09

think that's what I would do. If

21:11

I was a Psalm of Bin Laden, I say,

21:13

no. We're gonna blow up one of them. And you

21:15

know what his family was in, Saudi Arabia?

21:18

Construction. Construction. Yeah. Inside

21:20

job. Yeah. They were, like,

21:22

Yeah. We got a fork we got an idea

21:24

for a job. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah.

21:27

Do insurance scheme. Yeah.

21:29

Yeah. No. I'll be I'll come back to work in a

21:31

minute. I gotta pray. Yeah. I pray, like,

21:33

five times a day. I'll

21:35

do too much work around you. It's mostly praying.

21:37

Uh-huh. Yeah. Yep. In a way,

21:39

they're they're very similar. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

21:44

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And, like, close those

21:46

in the Italians --

21:47

Yeah. -- just replace Lozagna with

21:49

Mohammed. Dude, if you

21:51

said that if you said that twenty years

21:53

ago, people would have legitimately gone mad.

21:55

Yeah. There would have been an Italian nine eleven,

21:57

but they would have done

22:02

their own nine eleven. Oh my god.

22:05

How can you fucking share that?

22:07

How dare you? Yeah. Whatever

22:09

the the the nine eleven

22:11

mask, the Grand Zero

22:13

mask? Yeah. Didn't understand

22:15

because it's, like, for

22:18

the longest time Ground Zero was still

22:20

just a hole filled with trash. Right.

22:22

And they're like, oh, they're building a moss down there

22:24

and it's like, so I just have always a hole in, like,

22:27

a moss in, like, a junkyard basically.

22:29

Like, there's like a dog and a stack of tires

22:32

and there's just a mask like behind,

22:34

you know. Yeah. It's a crappy place. Yeah. Right.

22:37

I don't understand like what that

22:39

couldn't conceive of what was going on.

22:41

There is like a brand new Greek

22:43

Orthodox Church down there. Have

22:45

you seen it? No. And I think they

22:47

just thought that was the nine eleven mask.

22:50

They because it has a dome and

22:51

stuff.

22:52

Oh, like an onion dome.

22:53

Yeah. But they put a fucking they put

22:55

a cross on top. Mhmm. Which is

22:57

a classic trick. What's with the Greeks

22:59

and the or the I guess it's all eastern orthodox

23:01

churches. They use those those onion domes.

23:03

Yeah. Yeah. What is

23:04

that? My Disney,

23:05

they're really into Disney.

23:07

Is it? I don't know. Does

23:09

Disney have a lot of onion Isn't that

23:11

what the fucking

23:13

I don't know. When I was a kid and I saw pictures

23:15

of the Kremlin, I used to always think like

23:17

that was

23:17

It says Kremlin that's Saint Basil.

23:19

Say whatever. I used to always think they had their

23:21

own Disneyland. Yeah. You

23:23

didn't think that? No. I thought it was

23:25

like I thought it was just how they like buildings.

23:28

Oh, I thought it looked like Disneyland.

23:29

Mhmm. Disneyland. Mhmm.

23:32

It was, like, all slightly off brand. So

23:35

what's up? We should probably we should probably hate

23:37

Putin.

23:38

Right? Or is that your conclusion

23:40

on the getting into the Ukraine stuff?

23:42

Well, I think it's important

23:43

Center left. I think it's important for this show that,

23:45

you know, we identify loudly

23:48

as center left, we're we're a liberal

23:50

progressive show and naturally

23:53

we're very pro war. Mhmm.

23:56

No. Yeah. We're

23:58

gonna we're gonna remove the

24:01

Not even historical context. Just

24:03

--

24:04

Yeah.

24:04

-- just everything from twenty

24:06

fourteen on that happened before this

24:08

war.

24:09

Yes. I need it. I fucking Putin's doing

24:11

it because he's a fascist. Yeah.

24:13

Yeah. I hate war.

24:15

Yeah. But You

24:17

have to you have to no matter what,

24:19

you have to

24:19

Yeah. Yeah. But I I

24:22

hate it. Mhmm. But you Our job

24:24

being anti war means doing

24:26

wars to prevent

24:28

wars. Right. That's the point.

24:30

Is that it's you're not gonna

24:32

go to war if there's

24:34

if there's a

24:35

war.

24:35

Right. Exactly. Right. It's

24:38

sort of like it's

24:40

sort of like

24:42

like bug chasing. Right.

24:45

If you fucking if you get HIV,

24:47

then you're not gonna fucking get HIV.

24:50

Okay. Here it is. Why? didn't get it. You got it. Exactly.

24:52

If I and I didn't get HIV, I

24:55

got HIV. Yeah. You know what I

24:56

mean? Yeah. And that's sort of the that's the

24:58

difference, I

24:59

guess. Mhmm.

24:59

I don't know. I didn't really look into the Ukraine thing

25:01

at all.

25:02

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But they

25:05

haven't moved. The lines haven't moved. Yeah.

25:07

I I was laughing at people saying

25:09

it's the SlavA Ukraine on the Internet.

25:11

She's very famous for making videos saying that. What Slavo

25:13

mean? I have no idea. don't give a fuck. It's

25:15

some dumb thing you say. Slavo

25:18

It's like it's like fucking it's just it's another

25:20

one of these, like, fucking, I say, DASH

25:22

or, like, one of these, like, oh, yeah.

25:24

This word activism people

25:26

do. Yeah. Right. Steve. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

25:28

The Ukraine. Yeah. The Ukraine

25:31

-- Yeah. -- the Ohio State University.

25:34

Yeah.

25:34

Yeah. Yeah. That's fuck

25:36

them, dude. Fuck Ukraine.

25:40

Oh, racist. Oh, okay. Races.

25:42

Yeah. Races. Just

25:44

fuck them. Fuck them all. Are

25:50

there any

25:54

either of the sides, they have like a like

25:56

queer unit? Or Yeah.

25:59

There is a trans person that's,

26:01

like, doing, like, a a bracebelden

26:04

for Ukraine sort of. Oh, really?

26:06

Yeah. Which way? What

26:09

do you mean? Which way? To

26:11

effort, to aim? Oh,

26:14

it's a MTF trans

26:17

woman that is acting

26:20

as a mercenary in Friedland

26:23

I just put the butcher fighting

26:25

Russians. Yeah.

26:26

But And she's cashing bodies. I

26:30

have no idea. I mean, you know, I mean, I sort

26:32

of look at Twitter like everything else. I

26:34

don't actually even search for anything. The only thing

26:37

I really look at is like just what are what are the fun

26:39

vaccines, conspiracy theories going on?

26:41

Which those are dead now. There's been nothing new.

26:43

The the shit that I like. The stuff

26:46

that I like there's been nothing

26:48

there's been no new developments. Mhmm. And

26:50

in in just wildly

26:53

just hip shooting, fucking just just

26:56

saying whatever you want and then getting a bunch

26:58

people to believe

26:59

it. People are tired. They're tired.

27:01

People are tired. Yeah. Yeah. I

27:03

I feel like I you know, when you and Will were talking

27:05

about that

27:07

non binary administration

27:11

person that was stealing the suit. Same Brent.

27:13

Was a great one. I feel like if people weren't so

27:15

tired, they'd be having a lot more fun with that. that happened

27:17

a while

27:17

ago. Was that

27:18

was that the case? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The pictures

27:20

are very fun.

27:21

The pictures are lairy. The pictures are very fun.

27:23

Well, it's such a weird face for anyone to

27:25

have.

27:26

Yeah. Weird skull shape. Yeah.

27:28

Right. Yeah. Kind of like a mega

27:30

mind kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

27:33

Like a villain. Yeah. Yeah. A villain that

27:35

wears dresses and steals while it. That's

27:38

like the type that's not even type of thing like another

27:40

another mammal would do. That's

27:42

like a crustaceans

27:43

cross. Well, it is kind of like a it's very

27:45

old world. In terms of a crime.

27:48

Yeah. It's like one bitchy. I was gonna

27:50

say a bitchy

27:50

accent. Yeah.

27:51

Oh, the romer gonna come steal her luggage.

27:53

Yeah. I told you my friend

27:55

Brian was in France once -- Uh-huh.

27:57

-- and he was like he

28:00

was like waiting for a for a train.

28:03

And, like, a train station, a guy, like, walks up

28:05

to him. He's like, hey, do you have the time? And

28:08

he was like, no or

28:11

he, like, gave him the time and he was, like, are

28:13

are you all right, dude? And he's,

28:15

like, no. I'm actually not all

28:17

right. And he's, like, what's wrong? And he's, like,

28:21

So some gypsies like

28:24

knocked on my door and

28:27

now it's their house. In

28:31

Texas stole his house. We basically stole

28:33

his house. How? They just

28:35

came Friedland

28:36

there's, like, I don't know, squatting rights or something.

28:39

That's crazy. They can just I guess, it's like, vicious.

28:42

Nobody never really thinks about

28:44

that. Yeah. You could just if you're if you're just

28:46

gonna steal sports outs -- Yeah. -- people

28:48

steal cars all the time. Right.

28:50

Yeah. You can still house the house in

28:52

sixty seconds. Dude, that's crazy. This Nick

28:54

cage and Angelina Jolie walking in and

28:56

fucking on your

28:57

couch. Yeah. Alright. I'll see

28:59

you. We live here now.

29:01

You do? This is our house. That's

29:03

really that's really sad, though. That would really

29:06

that would really bump me out with

29:07

gypsies. Stole your house?

29:08

If anyone sold the house.

29:10

Damn. I can't wait to eat breakfast. didn't

29:12

have breakfast today? I thought we were starting ten. So

29:14

I got

29:15

here I got here and I missed it. got here

29:17

at ten ten.

29:18

You was a little boy. You got here at ten seventeen.

29:21

No. It was not. This was. No. It wasn't.

29:23

No. It was ten ten. Nope. Nope.

29:26

No. No. That's not true. Adam.

29:28

Our editor, the other Adam,

29:30

he got here at ten thirteen.

29:33

You were not here. He was the first person. When I got

29:35

out of the car, I saw through the

29:37

through the door, Adam at the elevator.

29:40

Wow. He got it. Wow. So

29:42

true? A

29:43

lie. You know, so he got he walked through that

29:45

door.

29:45

Why would I

29:46

lie to you at ten thirteen? What

29:48

kind of guy would I be if I would

29:49

lie to you? I I've already accepted you

29:51

that you're a liar. You do it. You you perpetually

29:54

What's the last And it's what is the the difference?

29:56

What's the last lie. Hold on. Just the one

29:58

right now that's a lie. You did

30:00

not get here at ten ten?

30:04

I wasn't paying attention. Okay. But

30:06

if you who said the exact

30:08

time. But you're adamant about that. If you said the exact

30:10

time, then that just means that you're you're

30:14

not painting yourself in a very good

30:15

light. I don't care. You're

30:17

like, missus missus time. I'm

30:19

being honest.

30:20

You're like, oh, my. And now ten,

30:22

twelve, ten, thirteen. You

30:24

said

30:25

the time. You said be her ten. I

30:27

said, let's get

30:27

I didn't get there a ten. I didn't say

30:30

we're gonna be here a ten. I just said I said

30:32

it was a test. It wasn't a test. What

30:34

do you

30:34

mean? It was a test. You said you said you said the time

30:36

I mean, you were like,

30:37

I'm gonna I'm gonna be having

30:39

I'm gonna get it on whole call. I'm doing You're

30:43

still testing me. No. It's on a test. So

30:46

I don't there's no reason for test. Thirteen years

30:48

in a friendship, you're still testing. Exactly. That's what I mean.

30:50

There's no reason for test. I just know how I should

30:52

know better at this point. It's not even a test.

30:54

So you played yourself, you're

30:56

sorry. I did not play myself no better.

30:59

I said, you know, what difference you should know? What

31:01

difference does it make? Because then it's up to

31:03

me. I'm gonna spend more energy guessing

31:05

when you're gonna be here. Then

31:07

if I just show up knowing you're gonna be

31:09

late, If I say, okay,

31:11

well, I have to include an Adam factor.

31:14

What if I thought? Adam's gonna be twenty minutes late.

31:16

Then I'm three minutes late because you're here at

31:18

ten seventeen.

31:19

So instead of, like, wasting like, oh, well,

31:21

if I get there a ten fifty

31:23

You're saying I'm It's mental energy. I'm saying I'm

31:25

consistently late.

31:26

You're you are consistently

31:28

among You've been consistent. Doesn't necessarily

31:31

mean that you you're late, but there's always something

31:33

you're lying about. If you got here on

31:35

time, if you got here at ten and

31:37

no one was here, you would tell us I've

31:39

been here since nine thirty. It has

31:42

nothing to do with, like, being

31:44

late or being on

31:45

time. It's you're just a liar. So there are

31:47

security cameras. I what

31:50

do you mean? So how would you know if I haven't

31:51

been there since then?

31:52

Because I know he I know you to be online.

31:54

So there are you have set up ring cameras

31:56

all over the office. No. I wouldn't use ring.

31:58

What would you use? CCTV.

32:02

Yeah. I would go old

32:03

school. I would

32:03

go to the old, like, tape So

32:05

the giant Analog. Yeah.

32:08

Giant tape.

32:10

Like, whole film can't even have those in

32:12

bags.

32:12

So we should do more hidden

32:14

camera stuff for the show.

32:16

Yeah. And it should always be in a giant turbine.

32:18

Yeah. Yeah.

32:22

We usually go with, like, where is Solton's? Or

32:24

Yeah. She's going into Chase Bank with a giant

32:26

turbo. Camera on and being, like,

32:29

I'd like to talk to the CEO of the

32:31

company who is. have just some

32:33

on off the record questions. To

32:36

ask him. We have, like, Project Veritas.

32:38

Yeah. Yes. I just will go into

32:40

the Pfizer headquarters. I'm a gay

32:42

man looking for a Friedland was wondering

32:45

if I could talk to the CEO off

32:47

the record about

32:49

a potential

32:50

relationship. We

32:52

should be doing

32:53

Your your response.

32:54

We should be doing more project Veritas.

32:56

Yeah. Yeah. We honestly should. And

32:58

just by that, I've been getting on Grindr and having

33:00

a good time. Seamakon. Seamakon. That's what they

33:02

did with the Pfizer

33:03

guy. Yeah. Yeah.

33:05

I catch up on all that stuff when I'm in the hotel

33:07

watching tucker. Yeah. That video

33:09

is crazy. What is that guy doing

33:11

right now? He do you lose his job?

33:14

He's just fucking just gone from the

33:16

fed. Nobody knows where he is. That

33:17

that video is crazy. Like, at the end

33:20

when he's freaking out, and he was like, I

33:22

was on a date. Mhmm. I was on a

33:24

date. I was trying to impress my date. I was lying

33:26

to impress, yeah, my date.

33:28

Yeah. I under I understood.

33:29

Mhmm. I understood him truly. Yeah.

33:32

You are one of those guys, kinda. Yeah.

33:34

Of course. Yeah. Pfizer

33:36

employee Adam Friedland says she was

33:38

at the lab at nine thirty AM

33:40

on the day that the virus

33:42

leaked. Yeah. Of course. No. I've

33:44

I've claimed

33:45

I've claimed I mean, that

33:48

way more on first dates.

33:50

Yeah. Yeah. That you were

33:52

responsible for the COVID nineteen?

33:55

Yeah. I said my grandfather

33:57

has a pangolin farm in

34:00

Wuhan. What is pangolin again? It's like,

34:02

oh, it's like a turtle that got pulled out of

34:04

its shell. Yeah. I think it's it's little

34:07

scaly. It looks like knuckles. Oh,

34:10

really. I thought it was like Who's,

34:13

like, the platypusy looking one on Pokemon?

34:17

Oh, I know what you're talking about. Like, his like,

34:20

a farm or something? Alien.

34:22

Ant. Ant. Yeah. Alien. Ant

34:26

to Ant Mark. Dave?

34:29

Who's on Pokemon? No. No. No.

34:31

We'll figure it out. This

34:33

is good. This is beautiful. It

34:37

no. It's like a little hard work guy. I know what you're talking

34:39

about. He's yellow.

34:42

No. But he's got a bill. Oh,

34:44

a bill. Then I have no

34:46

idea who you're talking about. Sid

34:49

Duck. Sid Duck. I thought

34:51

that's what a pangolin

34:52

was. No. I

34:53

was imagining knuckles from sonic. Yeah.

34:56

But there's an orange guy in Pokemon.

34:59

Alright. Let's figure out who that is. Let's

35:01

not. Let's let's change gears.

35:04

Let's talk about Chinese

35:05

food. Have

35:08

you had any good Chinese food lately? had

35:11

my girlfriend's birthday on Monday --

35:12

Yeah. -- to try to I tell you, I'd like to take

35:15

I'd like to see the Chinese take on a bagel.

35:18

Oh. It'd be interesting.

35:20

Yeah. Yeah. What do they do with it?

35:22

I don't know. Imagine be good. Yeah. Like

35:24

a round, like, steamed bun with pork?

35:28

Oh. Yeah. Like a pork bagel. Mhmm.

35:31

It'd be difficult to manipulate with a

35:35

chopstick. Yeah. Well, you eat

35:37

those with your hands. You

35:39

get a lot of it's good point. Yeah. Guess

35:41

you would use two sets of chopsticks to either

35:43

bagel. You do kind of wouldn't move. Yeah.

35:49

You know what I like? Uh-huh. That when

35:52

when your mom would make corn on the

35:54

cob, our

35:56

mom's and you they'd have the

35:59

mini You were learning how to make corn and cob

36:01

as an adult and you were like blown

36:03

away at how fucking easy it is. You boil

36:05

it. For four to eleven minutes.

36:08

Yeah. little bit of milk in the boiling water.

36:10

Or you put it on a

36:11

grill. I do not

36:13

like some grill marks. I do not like

36:15

grill and corn. I think it's bullshit. Why is it

36:17

bullshit? Billed corn is way better.

36:19

No. I like They take steamed dumplings,

36:21

way better than fried dumplings. No.

36:27

Fried dumplings are good. Depends. Depends.

36:31

Depends. No.

36:34

You're again, it's like, I mean, I know

36:36

we'll we'll go out to dinner, and

36:38

then we'll be there with somebody. And

36:41

it'll be let's say, you know, it'll be famous

36:43

person. And those are steamed

36:45

dumplings and you and right in front of

36:47

me, you won't make eye contact with you. You'll tell them,

36:49

I've always saw steamed dumplings better. After

36:52

that, we'll have this conversation. You'll do it.

36:55

Mark I'll set it up. That's

36:58

a test, if you will. You're

37:00

still testing me. I know. I I

37:02

had a feeling you were still testing me.

37:04

That's my job.

37:05

Yeah. As a producer of this show, it's gonna

37:07

be nothing but test from your own

37:09

out. You

37:11

gave me the psychopath test, didn't you?

37:15

What is that? Did they have a test? That seems weird that the

37:17

unions have a test. For that.

37:18

Yeah. I think it

37:19

is. And then what happens after that? Why would you

37:21

take that test?

37:23

I think that you're a substitute. I

37:25

think that the psychiatrists it's like psychiatrist

37:28

does it to you when you're at arkham.

37:31

But being a psychopath and not turning into,

37:33

like, fucking Jeffrey Dahmer, that's, like,

37:36

You know, it's like being, like, over seven feet tall, but

37:38

you're not in the NBA. Yeah. You're a great

37:40

guy. What? We just got a big

37:42

response to a DM. What do

37:44

you mean we got a big response?

37:45

A guy that

37:46

we want for Are we gonna fuck do Elipa?

37:48

Is that what's gonna happen? I'm sure

37:49

I say it on the show, so he has to do it.

37:51

Yeah. Just way, we got live mics

37:54

on. Let me just show it to me. Let's see.

37:57

Oh, yes. Amazing. Should

37:59

we say it to the audience so it has to happen?

38:02

Yes. Yeah. So you said,

38:04

it's your show. Folks,

38:08

our hero. His son Piker.

38:10

His son Piker will be on the will be

38:12

on the show. He's agreed to

38:14

it. Mhmm. Hour you walk it back

38:16

now. You can't walk it back. He literally didn't

38:18

even say he's going to be on the show. He said,

38:20

sorry, I was in Japan when you sent

38:22

me this. And

38:22

now he's about to be in Japan,

38:27

Japan, Japan to

38:32

Japan. So I just say we just

38:34

announced Japan Day Express. I'm gonna

38:36

say we just announced

38:37

all Japan Womens from Japan.

38:40

Is that where they got the name for the bear? Chinese,

38:42

dude. I'm

38:47

just gonna say, we just announced on the

38:49

show.

38:50

Yeah. We announced on the show that he's coming

38:52

on.

38:52

You're you are

38:54

coming on. So now he has no get yet.

38:56

And if he's got the money to fly to Japan, he

38:59

can certainly come to New York City. Should I say

39:01

that to him as well? Yeah. Certainly. Where does

39:03

he live again? Billings Montana? No.

39:06

No. He lives in Hollywood. Oh,

39:09

yeah. Know why I thought he lived in Montana.

39:11

Why? I don't know. I just thought

39:13

that lot of influencers moved there.

39:16

Yeah. Yeah. I would. Branches. Would if

39:18

I was making fucking eighteen million dollars a month

39:20

onto which would live at the top of a fucking mountain

39:22

in a castle. They don't

39:24

have castles in Japan. You know, I'm looking

39:27

I'm looking at that castle from the movie in

39:29

Trappment. You're

39:31

in both

39:32

of lasers where she where she goes there

39:34

and Yeah.

39:34

Yeah. Yeah.

39:37

What the fuck are you doing? It's

39:38

when Katherine's here to go. Joe, why are you doing?

39:40

You don't I know the scene. You don't have to she's

39:42

first of all, she's not even doing that. Stop.

39:44

She's

39:45

here. Why?

39:46

You think it's Gus? You think it's Gus.

39:48

It's beyond Gus. I just don't like it. I'm

39:50

like, I don't see what his son says. He

39:52

said, That

39:56

means you gotta you gotta that means you have to

39:58

come on. Yeah. And you're out here of

40:00

me. Yeah. We love you. We

40:02

gotta we gotta we gotta have got a we're

40:04

gonna have a a little chat with Hassan and figure

40:06

out this whole this

40:08

whole fucking somehow being in

40:10

your mid thirties and making content for

40:12

twelve year old because I can't we can't figure

40:15

it

40:15

out. So

40:16

we're trying so hard to get the sound

40:18

bump. I wanna be you. A cynical

40:20

dumb person would say it's just the politics,

40:22

but it can't be that. Because it was just

40:24

the politics, and I could show you a million guys

40:26

that are just the politics guys, but they're in

40:28

their thirties, and children hate them.

40:31

They come off like pedophiles basically. You

40:34

know what I mean? Yeah. Because it's

40:36

he because he's cute.

40:38

Yeah. I think there's more than that. He's selling

40:40

sex. How do we get the kids in the

40:42

Adam Friedland

40:44

van? Yeah. That's what we need to understand.

40:46

Yeah. What kind of candy are

40:47

you working with? Yes, ma'am. I don't even think kids

40:49

like candy anymore. What

40:51

is he giving out? Womens and baby carrots?

40:54

Don't know. I think that the children are watching, like,

40:56

fucking, like, hand tie now. There's

40:58

something like hand tie soundcloud. So we

41:04

gotta get on

41:04

that. Whatever it is, we gotta figure it out.

41:07

I tell you, you know what I

41:08

mean? He says my fan base is more agro

41:11

than Matt Healy. Now,

41:13

what does that mean? I don't

41:15

know. You know, he's he's he's

41:17

taking shots at Maddie Hill, you know. No.

41:20

He did a response video. Mhmm.

41:22

NYSEAN is now publicly claiming via

41:25

the these Instagram DMs that

41:27

he will kill Maddie Healy given the

41:30

opportunity. If I'm understanding that correctly,

41:32

no. Let's not make accusations. I'm not making

41:34

accusations. I am simply a vessel for

41:36

what's being DM. Breaking news,

41:38

folks, Hassan Piker

41:40

has threatened to kill Maddie

41:43

Healy. His issue as

41:46

an issue to pass by against Matti Hilli

41:48

and demanded that his audience kill

41:50

Matti Hilli

41:51

Mhmm. Given the opportunity if

41:53

it's shallots should come up.

41:55

Yeah. It's just can you imagine, like,

41:58

their symbols? Is gene shallots still alive?

42:01

Imagine that guy eating pussy. Imagine

42:04

that guy just swap switching between

42:06

the asshole and the pussy. This is must

42:08

have driven just fucking going back before

42:10

this hair bobbing up and down being like, do

42:12

you like

42:13

this? Just the fucking just

42:15

the big mustache and I

42:17

don't remember. Was he he likes every

42:19

movie. He was one of those guys? I don't know. He's

42:22

like the guy in the taxi cab that likes every

42:24

movie. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have fucking care, dude. just

42:26

really want like a pesto

42:29

side salad, a a side salad

42:31

of pesto pasta

42:34

salad side. I literally

42:36

had that for breakfast. I was maybe I

42:39

don't know. Dude, I'm a mine Crazy fucking

42:41

mind

42:41

reader.

42:41

I have a good recipe for you that's vegan that

42:43

that would be very easy to make at home.

42:46

What is it? It's like is

42:48

there a recipe or is it just three different ingredients?

42:50

No. It's like a pot it's a saucy

42:52

way for pots of kale. Okay. What

42:55

is it? You basically blitz

42:57

kale. What do you mean blitz

42:59

kale? You P09 it in the

43:01

blender. That's

43:03

called the blitz. Is the blitz on

43:05

process? You know the blitz?

43:08

No. It does stop trying to be cute. What the is

43:10

that a real

43:11

Like, tell you what's in this. But

43:14

what do you mean you blitz kale? Is that a thing?

43:16

Is that like a food network thing? Did they say

43:18

that? I

43:18

think I've been watching a lot of chefs on on

43:21

Instagram that are British and they

43:23

say blitz. Yes. Wow. I mean, we gotta ask Hassane

43:25

about this when he comes on the show next. I can't wait

43:27

till You know what this fucking this I just

43:29

what are you gonna wear? I don't know what I'm gonna wear.

43:31

Me? I don't know what I'm gonna go down

43:33

the costume shop and I'm gonna get some some

43:35

fun.

43:36

gotta wear some of those. He he thinks it's cool.

43:39

Yeah. What what is this? I

43:41

don't know. Neon sneakers and, like,

43:43

we got, like, brand new socks We gotta

43:45

go to That's all. The only thing I know about zimmer culture

43:47

is they've they'll never re wear a pair. I've never

43:50

seen a zimmer wear like, have socks on.

43:52

That look like they're not fresh out of the fucking

43:55

package. Those brand brand

43:57

new Nike dryfits, every single one

43:59

of them. We

44:03

gotta go to, like, Palace or supreme

44:05

-- Mhmm. -- and get full fits.

44:09

That song gets here. Damn.

44:11

What was I gonna say? Oh,

44:17

tell me more about this sauce. My

44:21

I have the P09, no, I can't find

44:23

it if I Google it. Mhmm. She's

44:26

a it says girl lie

44:29

or something.

44:36

Also eat the sauce.

44:37

Yeah. So you blend scale. It's a

44:40

lilag.

44:44

Blitz wait. Just tell me to me. You said

44:46

you knew it. I have to just forget to it. No. It's

44:49

somebody else's recipe. You can't

44:51

keep doing this. You can't keep getting away with

44:53

this. What do you mean? It's nonstop.

44:56

Here it is. Here it

44:56

is. I know a recipe. You're

44:58

gonna I know I

44:59

did a recipe last night. That

45:02

was like a but it was a

45:03

cat map. It's the Friedland recipe.

45:05

I didn't make up a recipe. Alright.

45:07

Well, you present things. Things as if,

45:09

you know, kale, stems removed. Great

45:12

apartment, you could replace that for vegan.

45:15

Lemonade. The second ingredient is non vegan.

45:18

You can replace that. But with

45:20

what? There's options.

45:22

They people use, I don't know, like, fucking

45:24

No. All of the vegan cheeses are discussed.

45:26

Okay. Alright. Womens,

45:29

olive oil, garlic cloves,

45:33

and pasta. That's it. And then you instead

45:35

of cooking all that crap, you just put

45:37

it in a food

45:38

processor. You cook the

45:40

kale quickly for five minutes until softer

45:42

than you put that what what you mean? Blanche

45:45

is you blanch it. Blanching is

45:47

in water. You blitz it in a

45:49

in a food processor or blender. So

45:52

but so you blanched the kale first and then

45:54

blitzed it. Blanched it and blitzed. Alright.

45:56

Mhmm. Well, I'm not doing all that. Why?

45:59

Because it sounds like it's just fucking

46:02

It's just pasta sauce with lettuce

46:04

in it. Yeah. But it

46:06

doesn't taste like it's just lettuce

46:08

sauce. It tastes it tastes not

46:10

good. Yeah. Yeah. That's

46:13

healthy. It's good for you. You get your veggies. Yeah.

46:15

Yeah. What's wrong with that? I don't know.

46:18

I'm just hungry right now. And I'm I'm I'm very

46:21

I'm I'm trying to be on

46:23

my best behavior, but I tell you with that.

46:25

Day two of not vaping, I really just wanna

46:28

Just just

46:31

fucking break glasses.

46:34

Looking at you. My glasses. Yeah. I just

46:36

wanna fucking snap them. But

46:38

what? But I need them to see

46:40

I know. And then with you doing that makes it

46:42

worse. And it has nothing

46:44

to do with you. It's not personal. I said, can I see the vape

46:47

again? I just

46:49

wanna look at it. Okay.

46:52

Fine.

46:54

Well, I'll tell you what. Because Dave said that when you

46:56

can

46:56

if you ever get upset, he said that

47:00

we can use him. I'm not upset.

47:02

I'm just

47:02

fucking. I'm just so like,

47:04

just aggravated. I need a bit

47:06

to jump on or fucking

47:08

just

47:08

to punch a hole in drywall.

47:10

don't know.

47:10

It's I I tell you, hate to see

47:13

It was so much easier to put some like,

47:15

you're so, like, island

47:17

redams normally. Yeah. You're so,

47:19

like, live and let live Christian normally.

47:21

Yeah. Yeah. And seeing you like

47:23

this, like, worked up, aggravated. I'm

47:25

sweating. I'm sweating. And I just all I can

47:27

think about is that fucking those goddamn elf

47:29

bars. Why don't you get, like,

47:31

a toothpick? It's not the

47:33

same. But, you know because

47:36

you're fucking hopelessly addicted to this

47:38

shit. You just you puff on that thing all

47:40

day long?

47:41

Yeah. Of course. Yeah. It's it's

47:43

such a whack thing. Yeah. It's such a

47:45

whackles to make you feel sick. I way I was waking

47:47

up. I that's what that's what I know because I've quit before.

47:49

But when you're waking

47:50

up,

47:51

it's worst thing is when you're in bed. Yeah.

47:53

Yeah. You

47:53

had to do it all night long. That's that is

47:55

pathetic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And

47:57

last night, I didn't sleep well, and I was just, like,

47:59

tep, like

48:00

Well, that cigarette water hit again. Yeah.

48:02

I'll wake up in the middle of night with nicotine

48:04

cravings, which cigarettes never fucking did

48:06

to me. But if I can't go if I can't sleep,

48:08

then it's like, you know, I gotta cut this out.

48:11

Mhmm. This is terrible. Good

48:13

thing. We don't have any vape sponsors. Is it even

48:15

legal for them to advertise? I

48:19

don't know. It's legal for fucking create them

48:21

to advertise. No. I think

48:23

I think vapes are, like, they

48:25

keep changing the brands. That's why you see the

48:27

same, like, cases with, like,

48:29

different words on them. Uh-huh. Because

48:32

they're like the FDA just shuts them

48:34

down. They start a new company. Yeah.

48:36

That's cool.

48:37

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a moff I need.

48:39

Oh, is it? I

48:40

think so. I saw this video.

48:41

think it's just the vape companies. We all just

48:43

decided were Chinese. We just decided

48:46

to blame you. No. No. No. I saw this video of

48:48

the wait. Look, elf. Bar factory

48:50

-- Yeah. -- of

48:52

all these Chinese guys just hitting.

48:54

Dude, Dude,

48:57

look it. Dude,

49:04

wait. What? What do they do that for to test them? Like,

49:06

because they're ripping vape too.

49:09

Yeah. There were you.

49:16

Yeah. If it is for the audience at home,

49:19

it's like a thousand elf bars

49:21

like impact like, in a cube.

49:23

And in Chinese guy, the factory is just

49:25

getting

49:28

get the music in

49:29

there. And that's

49:31

that's their looney tunes factory music.

49:33

Yeah. Yeah. That's their beating

49:35

us in the fucking That that would

49:37

fire me up to work at the Elfa factory.

49:48

They're looking elsewhere. I still love these

49:50

little, like, train conductor hats. They make

49:52

them wear in the factory. They're like, yeah.

49:54

You're gonna look like remember when fucking

49:56

Pluto was Mickey's boss.

49:59

They're back before they figured out who Pluto was.

50:02

Dude, it's crazy. These

50:04

guys must be hitting so much alpha.

50:07

Mhmm. Yeah.

50:10

Yeah. I'm I'm jealous of that. New

50:12

jealous of those guys. I wanna factory.

50:14

I wanna hit a

50:15

goddamn. I

50:18

wanna hit a goddamn fucking

50:21

What's this? What are you looking

50:23

at my Amazon packages? What

50:26

are you getting? Other

50:28

I do get ethernet cable to

50:32

what? You're always getting cable. Well,

50:35

I I wanna hardwire the I

50:37

put I put a TV

50:38

in. I put I had a TV in the bedroom,

50:40

and I

50:40

put it on the wall. Uh-huh. And I wanna

50:42

put the put

50:45

the Apple TV back

50:47

there and then

50:48

maybe maybe another cable

50:50

box and I wanna hardwire it rather than having

50:53

WiFi. Yeah. Better. Yeah.

50:55

Yeah. Yeah. You can really

50:57

tell the difference. Yeah.

50:58

Yeah. No movie I watched last

51:01

night, I've never seen? The Jim Carrick an ad

51:03

movie? No. I haven't seen that. Yeah. Was it

51:05

good? don't

51:06

know. I just guessed. You asked me to guess.

51:08

It's a a ed

51:09

wood. Oh, okay. It's

51:11

a good movie. Yeah. Pretty good.

51:13

Yeah. Yeah. Snow fucking

51:15

cat in the hat, but there

51:18

certainly

51:19

Certainly something. Did you see plan nine from

51:21

outer space when you were a kid? I remember, like, when I

51:23

was a kid, they were like, oh, that that's the worst movie

51:25

ever. It was like the room before the room.

51:27

Yeah.

51:27

Yeah. No. I'm trying think of

51:31

the goonies. Obviously, I saw that. When

51:33

you were a kid

51:33

yeah. An American beauty. I think those were the two.

51:36

Yeah.

51:36

Yeah. You would

51:39

you you would sell with your parents? What?

51:41

American beauty?

51:42

No. I think it was just fucking the VHS

51:44

tape, like, You know, my dad

51:46

rent

51:46

movies from blockbuster and then tape, like,

51:49

tape them. So the it

51:51

said what? With

51:54

Harrisy? Are you doing a bit where you're pretending

51:57

to be upset about blockbuster Harrisy?

51:59

You wouldn't steal a car? Yeah. You

52:02

wouldn't seal a car. That was more about downloading

52:04

stuff. What was it downloading? Yeah. What's

52:06

the FBI warning for? It was so funny too.

52:09

It's Your dad's gonna get mo. To put that

52:11

to put that, like, in front of movies

52:13

or whatever, like, just misunderstanding,

52:16

like, even the basic technology that,

52:18

like, that that would have to show

52:20

up in whatever you downloaded, that they could

52:22

only pirate the entire thing.

52:25

Wait. Say it again. I don't That they would put that

52:27

that, like, don't download, you know, like,

52:29

nobody who downloaded movies gonna see that. They

52:31

don't leave that part in the

52:33

fucking torrent

52:34

file.

52:34

Right. You're seeing it illegally. Yeah.

52:36

Right. So it doesn't yeah.

52:38

Right. They're lecturing the wrong people. But the

52:40

aesthetic of that of that video was sick.

52:42

It was like a very, like, Ronan

52:46

It's very run run lower

52:47

run. Do you remember that movie? Yeah.

52:50

It was very, like, early two

52:52

thousands.

52:52

Yeah. Yeah. Totally hogs. You know what it's funny? Tony

52:55

Hawk. Yes. You know what? Maybe I will blow

52:57

it up because it's, like, I don't know how

52:59

well their business is, but there is

53:01

a and I don't mean blow it up in a bad

53:04

way. But there's a restaurant

53:06

in dumbo called Super Fine,

53:08

that

53:09

was, like, probably, you walk in, you're like, this

53:11

place was open and two thousand two. Let

53:13

me just fucking peg it immediately. And

53:15

it I don't know. I don't think they changed anything.

53:18

So it's like it's like, very much,

53:20

like, being in a time capsule. And,

53:24

like, I there's just good

53:25

vlog. Maybe it's, you know, it's we're the same age. Where's

53:27

it from? Two thousand two. You go

53:30

in there

53:30

How do you know? Was it just just like

53:32

factories I have no idea, but you go in there

53:34

and it fucking feels like it. Right. I mean,

53:36

maybe move locations or something. But it's

53:38

like very much like What was the restaurant

53:41

back then? It was before food

53:43

was like good. Good. Yeah. The food

53:45

actually there and I don't wanna shit on

53:46

it, but the food is disgusting. Yeah. But

53:48

it's like it feels like

53:50

it just makes me feel good to Food

53:52

would like restaurants were good. Yeah.

53:54

The boys, like, for me for a guy like

53:56

me going in there is like, boomers used to

53:58

feel going to, like, fucking like a it's

54:00

a diner and there's little jukebox on

54:02

the fucking Yeah. You go in this place and it's

54:04

like, oh, remember when you could see through the iMac.

54:07

Right? Yeah. Remember when people had an inflatable

54:09

bean

54:09

bed That's your Johnny Rockets.

54:11

Yeah. Base and literally That's

54:12

your nostalgia. Yeah. They're just they

54:14

fucking they'll they'll play, like, fucking, like,

54:17

like, fever y corporation? Sick.

54:19

Yeah. It's it's like

54:20

sick. Yeah. It's very much They're from

54:22

DC.

54:24

Yeah. But I feel like even that but that's, like,

54:26

sort of, like, temporarily locked -- Oh, then, like,

54:28

down tempo shit. Like --

54:30

Yeah. -- trip hop or whatever call

54:31

lounge music. Lounge music. Right.

54:33

But does yeah. That I'd I'd love

54:35

going to that place because it's like, oh, yeah. It's

54:37

fucking I'm twelve and I'm fucking

54:40

I'm a loser and I'm never gonna get pubes,

54:42

but they fucking they got

54:44

there's something called Xbox is coming

54:46

out. Every year, I was, like, reading about, like, wow, x

54:48

box. Sounds like it's gonna be pretty

54:49

cool. Microsoft information. That's

54:51

the future. We're living in the future.

54:56

Oh, man. What wait. What

54:58

was it? It was very much okay. What were the

54:59

foods from them, though? I don't know. I mean, they have,

55:02

like, hamburgers and shit, and I mean,

55:04

then people people did be eating

55:06

those. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. And, like, I

55:08

I mean, I'm, you know, I'm I'm

55:10

vegan, so I think I had just I just had a big

55:12

mushroom. A big mush. Did they do that? You're

55:14

gonna place instead of like a bird of bella Yeah.

55:16

Same with.

55:17

Port bella mushroom was like, that was early

55:19

on.

55:19

Yeah. Yeah. I

55:20

remember my dad. He was like, I read about

55:22

this in a he said magazine.

55:25

Yeah. I was in white. You're writing about Portobello

55:27

mushrooms and maximum. Yeah. Yeah. No.

55:29

But I tell you that. You put my

55:31

place. I love going there. Terrible food,

55:33

but just be

55:34

It's kinda nice to be at a bad food

55:36

place. Being in there, I'm like, oh, this is awesome.

55:38

I'm playing I'm renting beetle adventure racing

55:40

from Blockbuster. And eating eating

55:42

seven bowls of honey nuts here. I'm playing playing

55:45

crazy taxes. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Because that no. It's very

55:47

much

55:47

crazy. It's crazy taxes. Yeah.

55:49

Lives in That

55:53

that that game was crazy. Yeah. It was crazy. You

55:55

know,

55:55

that guy should not have been working. Yeah.

55:57

You know, that's not safe. Yeah.

55:59

They don't they don't go into the backstory though.

56:02

Well, what do you mean bad guy shouldn't have been

56:04

working? This is fun too because now we get

56:06

to watch you lie your way through

56:08

ever having played crazy taxi. Well,

56:11

the back story is is that in his country

56:13

he was a doctor. Mhmm. To

56:15

you, in your mind, crazy taxi is

56:18

is a story of an Indian man

56:20

that owns a taxi now. And he's gone

56:23

He got a cab and he's gone mad. He's

56:25

gone mad. Yeah. You know what

56:27

what drove him to mad?

56:28

What? Capitalism. Yeah.

56:32

Yeah. Capitalism's pretty fucking bad. Dude,

56:35

I can't stand it. Mhmm. I wonder

56:37

what it has on things. I don't know.

56:39

It is I don't wanna get too into the weeds.

56:42

Yeah. In front of P09. But I mean, it's just,

56:45

like, how do you how do you, like, earnestly like

56:48

now, like make that your whole like

56:52

but no. But there's a lot of people don't make money

56:54

doing that. Oh, yeah.

56:56

Yeah. They're just, like, that's late

56:58

capitalism for you. Dude, people are doing

57:01

P09 are doing hometown podcasts.

57:04

With three guys that make no

57:05

money. Are

57:06

they?

57:07

Yeah. There have to be a million of them. Honestly,

57:09

I'm surprised that there were not more because

57:12

he's like, I would I would I the entire time

57:14

we did

57:14

it, I always thought there's gotta be like a bunch of people being like,

57:16

I could do this, and then they do, but nobody

57:18

listens to it. Dude, the fucking like,

57:22

every younger comic I know -- Mhmm.

57:24

-- says, like, oh, you're so lucky. You don't go

57:26

to mics anymore. I'm like, why? And they're

57:28

like, it's just people trying to beat Nick.

57:31

Yeah. But that's an open mic. That's different.

57:34

Well, whatever. But it's an effect

57:35

on, you know Yeah. And then what do

57:37

they do? Like, what is happening at those open mic?

57:40

They're just like, what if a fucking Indian

57:42

guy was crazy

57:43

taxi? It's

57:46

not very good. Just say that instead.

57:48

Eddie was a doctor, this country. Before it.

57:51

But he got a cat medallion. Yeah. And because

57:53

of the rise of Uber, that's why because

57:55

of the rise of Uber. Mhmm. Yeah.

57:57

His cap medallion is now worth twenty

58:00

thousand

58:00

dollars.

58:00

It

58:01

Womens worth one point five million

58:03

dollars. Do you see now they're like they're reporting

58:05

every trained derailment because of this

58:08

thing in Ohio. Oh, so people wanna

58:10

front like they always cared about. Well, they're

58:12

reporting that they're trying to pick right off the

58:14

cliff. It's fucking walking. It's

58:16

what just happens every day. It's just fine. There's just

58:18

constantly trains,

58:19

derailleur. Wait. I thought that people said it was, like,

58:21

the safest way to travel. I just

58:23

not traveling. It's the way we ship

58:25

shit. I mean, it's the same thing, though. It's the

58:27

same idea. Yeah. I mean, I

58:29

was already on track yesterday. I didn't have

58:32

I didn't have any trouble. But you watch

58:34

those trains around with videos and it's

58:35

like, how are these tracks much different than

58:37

the

58:38

the passengers? Right? Yes. Is there no

58:40

safety regulation?

58:41

don't know. I mean, I'm sure there must

58:43

be. You because you don't hear about passenger's lanes

58:45

de railing all the time.

58:46

That hasn't happened in, like, fifty years. Yeah.

58:49

But there's another video from Ohio. It's the same

58:51

fucking railroad. Just some guy waiting

58:53

in a train crossing, and just tapes it, and the

58:55

train just, like, just just

58:57

fuck something like that. Just According

58:59

to the guys to

59:00

just, like, casually back his car up while the

59:02

train is just being destroyed. Damn.

59:04

It is white genocide then. Yeah.

59:06

They are trying to fuck up Ohio.

59:08

Yeah. I'm convinced. Yeah.

59:12

Wait. Are people still on that that they're trying

59:14

to poison Trump voters or something? I

59:17

would imagine. Yeah. There's

59:19

nothing to move on to now. The

59:21

vaccine stuff is all dried up,

59:23

really? It's not it's, like, just back to being

59:25

RFK saying shit.

59:28

Yeah. There was this thing with, like, the latest

59:30

thing is there was some, like, I don't really

59:32

understand British politics, but he

59:36

was like an m p or APM or

59:38

something, but he was like, WhatsApp. Fucking

59:41

like, text got

59:43

leaked. And it's like him texting the

59:45

other, I don't know, British

59:47

fucking the the chance or

59:49

whatever the fuck or whatever the heck. And

59:51

he's, like, checkeried. Yeah. I don't know. He's,

59:54

like, fucking talk to the other guy.

59:56

He's, like, when are we releasing

59:58

the new variant? No

1:00:00

way. But there's

1:00:02

He's like, we gotta get people scared about

1:00:04

the virus, and

1:00:05

we don't be I mean, we say something

1:00:06

else. Yeah. That's doing a bid. Yeah.

1:00:09

He's doing a bit. It's funny if they're in the parliament

1:00:11

he's taxing with us. Yeah. But, I mean, if the Epstein

1:00:13

thing teaches you anything, it's like they could

1:00:15

It really could. You could have a fucking video

1:00:18

from doctor Fauci with his penis and

1:00:20

like going into a four year old girl. And he's like,

1:00:22

did I tell you what what creating

1:00:24

a virus with the Chinese -- Mhmm.

1:00:26

-- and we're gonna release it on people

1:00:29

to make Donald Trump look bad.

1:00:31

And oh oh, I'm coming

1:00:33

in this baby. And then

1:00:35

they can that could be just out. They could

1:00:37

release that video. And then

1:00:39

fucking the New York Times should be like, god.

1:00:41

So it turns out doctor Fauci had a little

1:00:43

more involvement than we thought. And then Republicans

1:00:46

would lose their mind. But then a week later Republicans

1:00:48

would be like, and then the the Greek m and

1:00:51

m's, you know, they would it would be down there

1:00:53

too. Another would happen They're two they're two

1:00:55

ADD. But also, there's nothing like it's

1:00:58

just not nothing will ever happen.

1:01:00

Yesterday is news. Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:03

Yeah. Oh, boy.

1:01:07

Oh, boy. Yeah.

1:01:09

Oh,