0:04

This is the Tranquilutionist in which

0:06

I, Helen Zoltzman, soothe your brain

0:08

by saying a load of words

0:10

that don't really mean very much

0:12

to give you an emotional break,

0:14

by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue

0:16

with something that you can benignly

0:18

ignore. This isn't like the

0:21

usual episodes of The Illusionist. There'll

0:23

be no learning, no journey, you

0:25

don't have to feel or think

0:27

anything. And you'll

0:29

find previous editions of

0:31

The Tranquilutionist at theillusionist.org/Tranquilutionist.

0:34

They feature champion dogs, gay animals,

0:36

punchlines with no setups, and more.

0:40

Today's theme was requested by Lachlan. So

0:42

long ago that Lachlan will perhaps have

0:44

forgotten, but at some point in the

0:46

past they wanted a Tranquilutionist featuring the

0:48

characters from films that don't have names,

0:51

so in the credits they're listed as

0:53

things like Man in Shop, Lady with

0:55

Pram, Angry Customer Number 2, etc.

0:58

Well, you remember a Lomgenist, Jez Burrows, who

1:00

appeared on the Oolopo episode of the show,

1:02

talking about his book Dictionary Stories, which

1:04

was short stories all composed from the

1:07

example sentences from dictionaries. After

1:09

making that book, Jez spent years

1:11

collecting thousands of this kind of

1:13

film credit and turned them into

1:15

a book called And Introducing. And

1:18

he's very kindly, let me read to

1:20

you from his book today with music

1:22

from Martin Austrich. Content note,

1:24

some of the words used in the

1:27

credits are not descriptors I would choose.

1:30

Also, there are some

1:32

swears, there's one category B-swear

1:34

and four category A-swears. On

1:37

with the Tranquilutionist. With

1:47

Suides, Abused Woman, Accomplice,

1:51

Acid Kid, Acrobat Thug 1,

1:55

Actor Playing Man with Nosebleed, Additional

1:58

Ducks, Additional Football. player,

2:00

additional knight, additional posse

2:03

girl, additional shape, adjacent

2:05

mechanic, adorable boy,

2:08

adorable old man, advocate

2:10

bob, Afghan ambassador,

2:12

Afghan bureaucrat, Afghan

2:15

traffic officer, Afghan warlord,

2:17

African barber, African host,

2:20

African musician, African native,

2:23

African nurse, African storyteller,

2:25

African warrior, airline

2:28

customer, airport bystander,

2:30

airport corpse, airport flirt,

2:33

airport hysterical wife, Albanian number

2:35

six, Albanian hostage,

2:38

alcoholic customer, alien autopsy

2:40

guy, alien fan, alien

2:43

father, alien jumpsuit chick 2,

2:46

alien number one, alien Nordic dude

2:48

number one, Ali

2:51

punk 3, amateur porn

2:54

guy, American announcer, American

2:56

athlete, American broadcaster, American

2:59

businessman, American businessman number

3:01

one, American housewife, American

3:03

mercenary, American news anchor,

3:06

American prisoner, American tourist,

3:08

amiable tourist, Amish

3:10

dancing dude, amnesia grandpa,

3:13

amnesiac patient, amphibian man

3:15

dance double, anesthesia man,

3:17

ancient priest, anesthesiologist

3:20

wife, angry woman,

3:22

angry airline customer, angry billionaire,

3:24

angry cowboy, angry customer, angry

3:26

driver, angry fan, angry feminist,

3:29

angry fisherman, angry garage sale

3:31

woman, angry guy on the

3:34

phone, angry hockey playing customer,

3:36

angry hooker, angry man, angry

3:39

man with mustache, angry mourner,

3:41

angry old lady, angry patient

3:43

with urine sample, angry promoter,

3:46

angry subway patron, angry traffic

3:48

woman, angry villager, angry woman,

3:51

angry worker, animatronic bartender,

3:53

ankles, announcer at

3:55

chicken race, annoyed man in

3:58

library, annoying customer, Annoying

4:00

customer's husband. Annoying Times

4:02

Square guy. Anonymous man.

4:05

Another aide. Another blonde. Another

4:07

bum. Another cousin. Another doctor.

4:10

Another German. Another girl. Another

4:12

Italian. Another kid. Another mother.

4:14

Another reporter. Another student.

4:17

Another thief. Another thief. Number

4:19

two. Another young man. Anxious

4:22

tunnel person. Ape with chain.

4:24

Apple thrower. Apprentice bad girl.

4:27

Arab beauty. Arab clerk. Arab

4:30

reporter in Munich underground.

4:32

Arab swordsman. Architect babe.

4:34

Arguing man. Arguing woman.

4:36

Armed cyborg. Armed little

4:38

lady. Arresting narc. Arrogant

4:40

businessman. Art loving

4:42

woman. Arthritic cowboy. Ashen face

4:45

man. Ashtray babe. Asian businessman.

4:47

Asian man. Asian tourist husband.

4:49

Asian tourist husband. Ask

4:52

me girls. Ask pincher.

4:54

Assassin in bedroom. Assistant

4:56

hangman. Astounded husband. Astrology

4:58

girl. Asylum spokesman. At

5:00

the hospital. At the

5:02

party. Athletic beauty. Athletic

5:04

unshaven man. Attractive man.

5:07

Attractive detective. Attractive passport

5:09

woman. Attractive woman. Attractive woman

5:11

number two. Attractive woman at

5:13

restaurant. Attractive woman at scholarship

5:16

banquet. Australian climber. Australian

5:18

scientist. Australian wizard. Autographed girl.

5:21

Ax murderer. Axles girl.

5:24

I carumba lady. Ayahuasca woman.

5:27

Babe in red car. Background

5:29

gorilla. Backstage man. Bad actor.

5:31

Bad breath. Bad dude number

5:33

one. Bad dude number two.

5:35

Bad girl. Bad guy. Bad

5:37

singer. Bad news boyfriend. Bad

5:39

tempered man. Balancing man. Bald

5:42

guy. Bald man. Balding airplane

5:44

passenger. Balding customer. Ballet heart.

5:46

Balloon boy. Balloon man. Balloon

5:48

pig holder. Banana guy in

5:50

the car. In JFK. Band

5:53

in Mark's daydream. Bandage loner.

5:55

Backstage babe. Bar buddy. Bar

5:57

dude. Bar hottie. Bar thug. Barbecue

6:00

wise guy, barbed wire salesman,

6:03

barfing kid, Barney's Beanery

6:05

patron, Barney's girl, barrel-tested

6:07

man, baseball corpse,

6:10

basketball dad, basketball kid number

6:12

four, basketball son, bassist for

6:15

nasty bruises, barbecue mobster, barbecue

6:17

pig, be aggressive girl, beach

6:19

cop, bear, bearded dude,

6:22

bearded fundamentalist in bizarre, beautiful

6:24

break dancer, beautiful girl, beautiful

6:26

girl across the hall, beautiful

6:28

girl hit by car, beautiful

6:30

job, beautiful mom, beautiful restaurant

6:32

woman, beautiful woman, beautiful woman.

6:35

Becky's girlfriend friend, bedwisting

6:37

dad, bedazzled judge, beef,

6:40

beefy cop, beefy drunk, beefy

6:42

dude, beefy tourist, been

6:44

crying for hours girl, beer belly

6:46

on beach, beer line guy, beer

6:48

luge guy, beer pong guy, beer bot

6:51

5000, beet red father, the

6:54

fuddled teacher, bejeweled woman,

6:56

Belgian mercenary, bell-ringing winged

6:58

creature, belligerent American, belligerent

7:00

guy at wedding, bemused

7:02

coworker, Berkeley girl, Bernie's

7:04

trashy date, the

7:07

spectacle blurker, bewildered policeman, bitter

7:09

at pie auction, big blonde,

7:11

big cotton girl, big boy,

7:14

big Dick Richie's girl, big

7:16

feet, big gun man, big guy,

7:18

big guy in the doorway, big

7:21

guy's girlfriend, big hairy con, big

7:23

headbanger, big Larry, big man, big

7:25

mean boy, big ponytail, big stank

7:28

woman, big stud, big thug, big

7:30

ugly bastard, figurative soldier,

7:32

Bill the Butters gang number

7:35

three, billionaire, bimbo student, bin

7:37

lady, bird girl, bird guy

7:40

alien slash postal sorting alien,

7:42

bird lady alien, birthday girl,

7:45

bitter ex-girlfriend, black eye woman,

7:47

bland doctor, bland man, bland

7:49

woman, bleeding man, blind child

7:52

with dog, blind panhandler, blind

7:54

prisoner, blind xylophanist, blob operator,

7:57

blonde sex slave, blonde thug.

8:00

Blonde, Blonde at Bar, Blonde

8:02

Babe, Blonde Baby, Blonde Bachelorette,

8:04

Blonde Beauty, Blonde Bombshell, Blonde

8:06

Date, Blonde Decoy, Blonde Girl,

8:08

Blonde in Drag Race, Blonde

8:11

in Pool, Blonde Lingerie Model,

8:13

Blonde on Train, Blonde Reporter,

8:15

Blonde Starlet, Blonde TV Reporter,

8:17

Blonde with Cellphone, Blonde with

8:19

Jim Morrison, Blonde Celllet,

8:21

Blonde Zombie, Blood Splatman,

8:24

Bloodied Bureaucrap, Bloody Man, Bloody

8:26

Stranger, Blousy Woman, Blue Boy,

8:29

Blue Collar Customer, Blue Collar

8:31

Guy, Blue Monster, Boardroom Babe,

8:33

Bob Saget Girl, Bob's

8:35

Friend in 70s Sex Head

8:38

Film, Bob's Girlfriend, Bolivian Taxi

8:40

Driver, Bones, Bong Genie, Book

8:42

Form, Bookful Patron, Border Crossing

8:44

Riverbait, Board Girl in Dress

8:46

Shop, Boring Date, Boring Girl,

8:48

Boring Speaker, Boring Teacher, Bottle

8:50

Thrower, Bowling Priest, Boxer Shortsman,

8:52

Boy at Pancake Counter, Boy

8:54

eating Jerky, Boy George Lookalike,

8:56

Boy going to Princeton, Boy

8:58

in Chains, Boy in Tree,

9:00

Boy Michael Fights, Boy Outside

9:02

Donuts Shocks, Boy stealing Wheelchair,

9:04

Boy with Goat, Boy with

9:06

Blonde, Brave Face Girl, Brave

9:08

Hop, Brawling Bride's Maid, Try saying

9:11

that 10 times, make it succession,

9:14

Breakdancing Pirate, Bridge Goon, Bridge

9:16

Jumper 2, Brimstone

9:18

Preacher, British Ambassador, British

9:20

Broadcaster, British Dignatory, British

9:22

Gentlemen, British Lieutenant, what

9:25

should be British Lieutenant

9:27

in British, British

9:29

Prisoner, British Soldier, Broken Arm

9:31

Kid, Brooding Psychopath, Brunette in

9:33

Back of Plains, Brunette in

9:35

Pool, Brunette Lingerie Model, Brunette

9:38

Woman, Brunette Zealot, Bugger Man,

9:40

Booch Man, Bugger Bugger

9:42

Woman, Bulgarian Girl, Bulgarian Goon,

9:44

Bullet Wound to the face

9:46

corpse, Bum, Bum Fight

9:49

Filmmaker, Bureaucrat at Party, Burger

9:51

Guy, Burley Cadet, Burley Detective,

9:53

Burley Guard, Burley Man, Burley

9:55

Miner, Burley Orderly, Burley Patient,

9:57

Burley Scary Guy, Burley St-

10:00

date and burn victim number two

10:02

burned figure burning woman burrito

10:04

bus lover bus stop beauty

10:06

bus stop bombshell bushy head

10:08

and mothering wizard businessman's babe

10:11

master's wife bystander bystander at

10:13

harpsichord concerto

10:17

bystander at Metro tabstealer

10:19

cable car heavy cadaver cadet

10:22

with hat Cajun heavy

10:24

number two cake man Cal's

10:27

crying girl California man Callaway's

10:29

beautiful girl in tub Cambodian

10:31

boy can man can

10:33

of vegetables voice candelabra holder

10:35

cannibal boy cannibal woman cake

10:38

plaid fan captive girl car

10:40

crash woman card playing neighbor

10:42

I'm playing patient Carly Simon's

10:44

friend carnival boy carnival rube

10:47

carrot eater carrot top kid

10:49

number one casino lecture casino

10:51

ruffian casino star casino trashy

10:54

woman casting agent number eight cat

10:56

advocate cat lady cat like woman

10:58

cat shit watching customer cavern henchman

11:01

CD wrong woman cemetery ghost

11:03

cemetery maintenance man chainsaw artist

11:05

chainsaw juggler chanting woman charming

11:08

guy with guitar chase scene

11:10

victim cast eyes dealer chat

11:12

roulette girl chatty nude guy

11:14

cheese guy cheeseburger cop and

11:17

terrific woman chesty girl number

11:19

two chicken guy chicken

11:21

lady chicken lady on

11:23

plane chicken ranch girl chief

11:25

of snow leopard brotherhood child

11:28

catcher child in meadow

11:30

child vampire Chilean sailor

11:32

chimera Chinese assassin Chinese

11:34

bodyguard Chinese bus driver

11:36

Chinese butcher Chinese co-pilot

11:39

Chinese cook it detention

11:41

center Chinese delivery guy

11:43

Chinese delivery man Chinese

11:46

executive to need for

11:48

this government man Chinese

11:50

maintenance Chinese Minister

11:52

of Defense Chinese oil executive

11:55

Chinese park goer Chinese pilot

11:57

Chinese referee Chinese way Chinese

12:00

waitress, Chinese water woman. Chloe's

12:03

chilly friend, chocolate strawberry girl.

12:05

Christmas tree salesman, chubby cop,

12:08

chubby man. Church lady,

12:10

cigar thug, clapping guy. Clara's

12:13

wife who is writing a

12:15

book. Clawhammer maniac, clean man,

12:17

client with one eyebrow. Clown

12:19

automaton, clown ice skater, club

12:21

douche, clueless guest, cocaine

12:24

lady, cockfight referee, cockney

12:26

prisoner, coconut guy, coffee

12:28

patron, coffee stiller, coke

12:30

fiend, cold coffee lover.

12:33

Cold old man, Colombian

12:35

judge, colonel's lady friend,

12:37

Colorado man, communist neighbour,

12:40

communist's daughter, complaining villager,

12:42

conceited customer, concerned businessman,

12:44

concerned cabbie, concerned doctor,

12:46

concerned father, concerned Hispanic

12:49

aunt, concerned mother. Confused

12:52

kid, confused party girl, confused

12:54

teacher. Conga line, conga line,

12:56

conga line, conga line, conga line. Consumptive

12:59

Italian, contentious reporter. Whole man,

13:02

cool rocker guy. Cop in

13:04

manhole, cop on fire, cop

13:06

who eats chili, cop who

13:08

sighs, cop with bullhorn, cop

13:11

with whips. Corn face, copse

13:13

with raps number four. Corrupt

13:15

captain, corrupt kickboxing referee, corvette

13:17

kid, corvette kid's friend. Cost

13:20

conscious survivalist, Costa Rican policeman,

13:22

Costco man, cotton candy man.

13:24

Coughing man, cool bond man

13:26

outside pizza parlour. Coven member, cowboy,

13:29

cowboy bartender, cowboy lap

13:31

dance girl, cowboy thug. Crab house

13:33

pianist, crack addict, cranky

13:36

labor nurse. Crazed fan, crazed

13:39

man in massage parlour, crazed

13:41

socks fan. Crazy

13:43

hostile dreadlock voter, crazy

13:45

inmate, creamy creature number

13:48

two, creepy middle aged

13:50

man, creepy young man,

13:52

crematory, concierge, crippled shoeshine

13:54

boy. Creation general, crony,

13:56

crony wife number two,

13:58

crooked official, crosswalk. Crawl

14:02

child, crawl sergeant, crying boy,

14:04

crying bride, crying girl, crying

14:06

hippies wife, crying little girl,

14:09

crying loser, crying man on

14:11

street, crying nun, crying reporter,

14:13

crying skater boy, crying woman,

14:15

Cuban businessman, Cuban dancer,

14:18

Cuban nurse, Cuban officer,

14:20

Cuban president, Cuban translator,

14:22

curious cheerleader, curious man,

14:24

cuffing guy, customer with

14:26

Vaseline and rubber gloves, customs guy,

14:28

cute co-ed number one, cute debutante,

14:31

cute dude at full cycle, cute

14:33

girl, cute groupie, cute guy

14:35

with dreads, cute hobbit child, cute

14:38

market girl, cute mother,

14:40

cute naked girl, cyclopean

14:42

intruder, cynical agent,

14:45

cynical cabbie, Czechoslovakian actor,

14:47

dad in Japanese jail

14:49

waiting room, dainty girl,

14:51

dairyman, damned man, dancing

14:53

businessman, dancing frat guy,

14:55

dancing lady, dancing soldier,

14:57

dangerous woman, dapper

14:59

gent, dart in head guy, dashing

15:02

restaurant man, daughter of a son

15:04

of a gun fighter, dead assisting

15:06

priest, dead blonde woman, dead blonde

15:09

woman's husband, dead boy on tree,

15:11

dead boyfriend, dead father, dead FBI

15:13

agent, dead girl number one, dead

15:16

girl on tree, dead hooker, dead

15:19

Iraqi soldier, dead man begging,

15:21

dead man in the jacuzzi, dead

15:23

nun, dead peasant, dead pilot,

15:25

dead priest, dead showgirl, dead

15:27

soldier, dead meat, deaf and blind

15:30

cop, deen's punk girlfriend,

15:32

deflated husband, demented Mongolian,

15:35

demon voice, demon

15:37

hipster chick, demon nun,

15:40

demonstration chant leader, depressed

15:42

human, depressed patient, deranged

15:44

Mongolian, derelict, deserting father,

15:47

desperate businessman, desperate man,

15:49

detective looking guy, determined

15:52

receptionist, deviant husband, double

15:54

masked man, diner attacker,

15:56

dirty cowboy, disappointed recruit,

15:58

disapproving man. Disco

16:00

Girl Discruncled Agent Discruncled

16:03

Cobbler Elf Discruncled Customer

16:05

Discruncled Fan Discruncled Worker

16:07

Disheveled Kid Dismembrment Goblin

16:09

Disoriented Gym Patron Displeased

16:11

Fretester Distant Relation Distinguished

16:14

Gentleman Number One Distinguished

16:16

Woman Distraught Memphis Pop

16:18

Distraught Woman Distraught Patient

16:20

On Phone Doctor Performing

16:22

Abortion Does this

16:24

smell normal? Man Does this

16:26

smell normal? Dog

16:29

Boy Dogfight Referee Dog

16:31

Spa Receptionist Dog Vendor

16:34

Dog Walker's Wife Dolly Parton

16:36

Impersonator Dominican Banger Number One

16:38

Dominican Priest Don't You Wanna

16:40

Be Cool Kid? Donkey Fluffer

16:42

Donkey Shooter Donut Boy Doomsday

16:44

Guy Dork Dorky Driver

16:47

Douche Douchebag Douchebag Bro Number

16:49

Two Dower Fan Dower Jar

16:51

on the Eiffel Tower Down

16:54

There Dramatic Woman Drawing

16:56

Boy Dredlock Sky

16:58

Dream Ghost Dream Girl Dream

17:00

Lady Dream Nurse Dream Sequence

17:03

Gunman Dream Sequence Hooker Dreamy

17:05

Photographer Drive-By Hector Driver Who

17:07

Hits Chris Droning Guy Drugged

17:10

Out Loser Drunk Up Bar

17:12

Drunk Beach White Girl Drunk

17:14

Cowboy Drunk Driver Drunk Dumb

17:16

Jock Drunk Guy At Urinal

17:19

Drunk Laughing Jock

17:21

Drunk Regular Drunken Doctor

17:24

Drunken Hag Drunken Lady Drunken

17:26

Man Drunken Repeater Drunken Sailor

17:29

Drunken Santa Claus Drunken

17:31

Stranger Drunken Trashy Girl Dry

17:34

Cleaner Woman Dude Fix Your

17:36

Face Guy Dumb Blonde Dumb Football

17:38

Player Dumpster Cop Dumpster Guy

17:40

Dents On Paris Pass Denton

17:43

Matri D Dutch Contractor

17:45

Dutch Cop Dutch Dancer

17:48

Dying Boy Dying Man Dying

17:50

Old Man Dicentry Eager

17:53

Mongolian Ear Doctor Ear

17:55

Guy East German Guard Number

17:58

One East German Officer Eat

18:00

me boy, ecstatic co-ed. Edwins

18:03

babe, the all-eater. Eww

18:06

girl, a feet executive, a

18:08

feet man in gay bar, a feet

18:10

man's friend. Egg boy, egg man,

18:12

eggs over easy. Egyptian guard,

18:15

Egyptian interval officer number one,

18:17

Egyptian shopkeeper, Egyptian slave.

18:19

Elderly female chemo patient,

18:22

elderly SNM enthusiast, electrocuted

18:24

ghost, elegant lady, elegant

18:26

man, elegant woman, elevator businessman,

18:29

elevator man, elf quarterback, elf

18:31

with kangaroo, Eli's Egyptian friend,

18:33

elixir sniffing customer, Elvis

18:35

woman, embarrassed mum, emergency

18:38

room ghost, emperor wangs

18:40

girl, employee fired for smoking,

18:42

enemy fan, engineer with

18:44

discet, English country town night

18:46

clerk, English dustbin lady, English

18:49

reporter, English reporter in Munich

18:51

underground, enormous asian man, enormous

18:54

bobby, enraged mum, enthralled

18:56

girl, enthusiastic man, eric's

18:59

girl, eric flinn lookalike,

19:01

escaping patient, espresso man,

19:04

estuary victim, burial girl,

19:06

Ethiopian priest, euro trash vampire,

19:09

euro trash man, everyone else,

19:12

voice, evil masked figure,

19:14

evil wagon driver, exceedingly handsome

19:16

guy, excitable customer, excited

19:18

alien, excited woman. Excuse me,

19:20

there's a line, executed man,

19:23

executed woman, executioner, exhausted

19:26

mother, exorcised boy,

19:28

exorcist party goer, exotic

19:31

dancer, extremely unattractive guy,

19:34

exuberant mourner, eye bite

19:36

victim, eye guy, failed

19:38

executive, failed operation corpse,

19:40

fake cop, fake dad, fake

19:43

Elvis, fake id kid, fake

19:45

judge, fake neo, falling man,

19:48

false quag, family friend, family

19:50

man, family near broken window,

19:53

famous actress hit by beer, fanny

19:55

pack man, fantasy baby,

19:57

fantasy sacri, fantasy technician, Fantasy

20:01

teen, farm dog, farmhouse lady,

20:03

sorting agent, muting glee. Ice

20:06

is deep in the city, seties. Eat

20:08

boy, back home. Eat cat, speak

20:11

cowboy, set senate, Eat drunk,

20:13

speak face goalie, Eat guy, back day's

20:15

wife, Eat jack, dog

20:17

or in park, Eat lady, eat

20:19

lady at parade, Eat man,

20:22

eat man eating an acor, Sit man

20:24

with Oreos, Eat man's friend, Eat man's

20:27

fat person, Eat shorty

20:29

to get fit sniper, Eat teen. Car

20:58

fly, Filipino urchin, Film

21:00

class mobi girl, Fine woman,

21:03

fire choreographer, Fired

21:05

employee, first jive dude, First

21:08

sea lord, first victim, First woman

21:10

in line, fish girl, Fisher

21:13

woman's friend, Flusher ghost, flesh balls,

21:16

Flautaceous walker, flirting

21:18

executive, Flirting hospital soldier, floating

21:20

witch, Fluffer, flustered

21:22

man, Fly touching prisoner, focus

21:24

group woman, Foot lady, football

21:26

urchin, Fop, foreign

21:28

attribute band member, Forensics guy,

21:31

forest nymph, Fourth robber,

21:33

frail customer, Frantic mum,

21:36

fat dude, fat guy, Fat guy with water gun, freak

21:38

number two, Freak

21:40

interrupting, freak with basketball, Freak

21:44

motorist, freaky student, French

21:46

artillery officer, French auctioneer,

21:49

French beach waitress, French

21:51

businessman, French dealer, French

21:53

dignitary, French father on beach, French

21:55

girl on yacht, French interpreter, French Japanese night

21:57

club patron, French man, French

22:00

mer, French news reporter, French

22:02

newscaster, French reporter in Munich

22:05

Underground French ski instructor, French

22:07

taxi driver, French ticket agent,

22:09

French trapper, French waiter, French's

22:11

wife, freshman smart arse, friend

22:14

of deceased, friend of young

22:16

deborah, friendly bondage master, friendly

22:18

customer, friendly psychopath frightened memorial

22:21

goer, frightened mother, frog

22:23

lady, frog eyed woman, frozen

22:25

body, frozen dad, frozen

22:27

pediatric cardiologist, frozen theologist,

22:29

frozen vintage car man,

22:32

fruit headdress woman fuck up

22:34

talk, fuck up number two,

22:36

fuck you boy, fuck you girl,

22:39

furious wife, furniture man's wife,

22:41

future scientist, gag me girl,

22:44

gala crooner, gang member number

22:46

three, gang banger, gangly recruit,

22:48

gas girl, gasping man, gasping

22:50

soldier, gator's girlfriend, gaunt young

22:52

man, gauntlet man gawker number

22:54

one, gawky girl at party,

22:56

gay bodybuilder, gay carpenter, gay

22:58

female military type, gay

23:01

friend, gay karate man, gay

23:03

male military type, gay tourist,

23:06

gentleman at cock fight, gentleman

23:08

at party, gentleman caller German

23:11

broadcaster, German businessman, German

23:13

businesswoman, German goon, German

23:15

henchman, German lieutenant, German

23:18

office receptionist, German officer,

23:20

German politician, German potato salad

23:22

lady at deli counter, German reporter

23:25

in Munich on the ground, German

23:27

scientist, German soldier, German tank commander,

23:29

German tour guide, German's friend, German's

23:32

other friend get a room lady,

23:34

ghost at s Girl

24:00

hostage, girl in blood bank,

24:02

girl in coffin, girl in library,

24:04

girl in shower number three, girl

24:06

in the rain, girl in

24:08

upside down bathroom, girl mic hits

24:10

on number two, girl ritzy lifts,

24:13

girl smoker, girl who won't pay,

24:16

girl whose party it is, girl

24:18

with braces, girl with cow, girl's

24:20

girlfriend, gives birth to egg, glamorous

24:23

assistant, glaring man, gloving eyes boy,

24:25

go away please, goat owner,

24:27

goateed latino, godlike man,

24:30

gold teeth man, golf player

24:32

slash sad man, good actor,

24:34

good guy, good looking frat

24:36

guy, good looking guy on

24:38

plane, good morning man, goodbye

24:40

coach kid, goofy guy, goon,

24:42

gorgeous black girl, gorgeous blonde,

24:45

gorgeous wife, gorgeous woman, gossipy

24:47

motel club, granddad thug, grandma

24:49

death, graveyard peeper, greasy

24:51

fbi man, greasy man, greek

24:54

boat captain, greek deli proprietor,

24:56

greek fisherman, greek millionaire, green

24:58

pea sky, greeting card

25:01

supervisor, grenade goon, gray man,

25:03

grieving woman, grilled cheese, grim

25:05

face con, ground church mutant,

25:08

gruff smuggler, gruff uncle, grumpy

25:10

customer, grumpy guy, grumpy party

25:12

guest, guaranteed wholesome DJ,

25:15

guatemalan trucker, guitar dude,

25:17

gun enthusiast, gun head,

25:19

gunshot victim, guss's leg double,

25:21

guy being fucked, guy getting off

25:23

train, guy in photo, guy in

25:26

toilet, guy nearby, guy on donkey,

25:28

guy selling alligator purse, guy throwing

25:30

frisbee, guy who says it'll take

25:32

him only two minutes to have

25:35

sex, girl with cat, guy with

25:37

clipboard, hair combing neighbor, hairy

25:39

man, hairy armed man, Haitian ambassador,

25:42

Haitian gang member, Haitian gardener,

25:44

hallucinating guard, ham, hamburger

25:46

mom, hammy alien, handcuffed

25:48

man, handle bomber star,

25:50

handmade nimbible fantasy, handsome

25:52

actor, handsome barbershop guy,

25:54

handsome father, handsome hospital

25:56

orderly, handsome man at

25:58

party, handsome

26:01

soldier, handsome young man at diner,

26:03

hanged man, hungman, happy

26:06

customer, happy man, happy

26:08

San Franciscan, Hare Krishna

26:10

Zombie, Harlem bystander, harried

26:12

woman, Harvey's girlfriend, hatchet

26:15

girl, have a nice day stewardess,

26:17

Hawaiian dancer, headless boy,

26:19

headless man, headstone salesman,

26:21

heart attack performer, heavy

26:23

man, heavy set nurse,

26:25

heavy ish woman, heckler's

26:28

date, helicopter pilot, it's

26:30

like 30 of those, helpful

26:33

Hawaiian waiter, helpful patrolman,

26:36

helpful person, henchman, henchman

26:38

number two, henchwoman, henpecked husband,

26:40

heroic dog, high five guy,

26:42

high net worth man, high

26:45

society woman, Hindenburg boy,

26:47

hip exorcist party goer, hippie

26:50

in line, hippie neighbor, hippie

26:52

prisoner, hard killer, hitchhiking ghost,

26:55

Hitler hitchhiker, hitman, hockey

26:57

rabbi, hogman, hologram

26:59

babe, hologram woman, holographic

27:02

woman, homeowner slash scientist,

27:04

homeless guy in line,

27:06

homeless vampire, homeschooled boy,

27:08

Hong Kong beauty, hood,

27:11

hood at warehouse, hoodlum, hooked

27:13

hand dignitary, hooker in

27:15

distress, hopeful fighter, hopscotch

27:18

girl, horned witch, horny

27:21

guy, horrible man, horse scooter

27:23

woman, horse teacher, hospital contortionist,

27:25

hot babe on fire escape,

27:28

hot dog girl, hot dog

27:30

eating champion son, hot female

27:32

doctor, hot girl, hot guy,

27:34

hot Indian girl, hot Korean

27:36

girl, hot priest, hot teacher,

27:39

hot teenager girl, hot dog

27:41

brunette, hot waitress, hot woman,

27:44

hotter friend, hottie,

27:46

houseboat cutie, hubba hubba lady,

27:49

huge Aryan, huge boy, huge

27:52

guy, huge hulking guy, huge

27:54

man on plane, huge Scottish football

27:57

player, human cannonball, human dartboard,

28:00

humanoid head humble guard

28:02

humming woman hungarian hood

28:04

husky biker husky man

28:07

hustler hysterical interviewee hysterical

28:10

man hysterical woman i love

28:12

sanity nurse i'm so high

28:14

kid ice cold blonde

28:16

idealized kissing wife idiot

28:19

punk ill-informed guy

28:21

impatient driver impatient

28:23

traveler implosion man

28:25

imposter incessant photographer

28:28

incredible girl incredibly old

28:30

guy indecisive video customer

28:32

indian cop indian grocery

28:34

clerk indian guide indian

28:36

hooker indian prince in

28:38

movie indian princess in

28:41

movie indian reporter indian

28:43

waiter indian wife indonesian

28:46

banker indonesian bodyguard inept

28:48

agent inept archer infected

28:50

kid infected brief infectious

28:53

grooves basis infomercial nancy

28:56

innocent bystander innocent

28:58

looking man innocent young man

29:01

inquiring woman insane bowie fan

29:04

insinuating wife insolent official

29:06

intellectual looking woman intense

29:09

cop intense young intern

29:11

interested mum interested onlooker

29:14

internet expert intimidating

29:16

cop inuit storyteller investor

29:19

at party iranian ambassador

29:21

iranian clerk iranian nuclear

29:24

physicist iraki civilian

29:26

man iraki radio operator iraki

29:29

soldier with map iraki tank

29:31

driver irate driver irate football

29:34

parent irate man irate woman

29:36

in audience irish henchman irish

29:39

longshoreman irish mummy irish

29:41

musician ironing nun irresistible

29:44

screw you woman irresistible fantasy

29:46

woman number three israeli reporter

29:49

in munich underground israeli woman

29:51

watching tv italian assassin italian

29:54

businessman italian guard italian minister

29:56

italian nurse italian officer italian

29:59

playboy Number three, Italian punk,

30:01

Italian scientist, Italian shopkeeper, Italian

30:03

street boy, Italian waiter, Italian

30:06

woman at murder site, jabbering

30:09

old man, dropped Nicholson impersonator,

30:11

Jacob's girl, jaded cashier,

30:13

jaded piano player, Jaguar lady,

30:16

Jamaican escort girl, Japanese

30:18

athlete, Japanese bowler, Japanese

30:20

businessman, lots of these,

30:22

Japanese businessman number one,

30:24

Japanese businessman number two,

30:26

Japanese dignitary, Japanese visitor,

30:29

Japanese movie guard, Japanese

30:31

flute girl, Japanese food

30:33

girl, Japanese partner, Japanese

30:35

immigration agent, Japanese interpreter,

30:38

Japanese matri-d, Japanese policeman, Japanese

30:40

producer, Japanese salesman, Japanese school

30:43

girl, Japanese student, Japanese truck

30:45

driver, Japanese waiter, Japanese waitress,

30:47

Sean Paul's girl, jerk, jerk

30:50

driver, Jersey redhead, Jimmy Carter

30:52

look-alike, Jimmy's girl, jive lady,

30:55

jock girl, Joe's woman, jogger

30:57

babe number three, jogging mum,

30:59

poor his girlfriend, juju man,

31:02

judge killed by robot, juggler

31:04

customer, jump rope guy, just

31:07

wants to dance, karaoke

31:09

woman, Carl's crony number one, Kenyan

31:12

news reader, Kenyan runner, Kevin's other

31:14

woman, kid in line, kid near

31:16

Andy, kid with apple, kid

31:18

with crowbar, kid with gun, killer

31:20

in attic, killer in barn, killer

31:22

in record store, kissing

31:25

man, kissing woman in boat,

31:27

kitchen thug number two, Klansman

31:29

one, knee-capped bank robber, kneeling

31:31

veteran, moccals, Korean cab

31:33

driver, Korean captain, Korean

31:35

grocer, Korean guard, Korean husband,

31:38

Korean news anchor, Korean thug,

31:40

Korean vendor, Korean waiter, Korean

31:43

waitress, lady asleep, lady

31:46

at book signing, lady at snake-a-rama,

31:48

lady crossing street, lady executive,

31:51

lady flag burner, lady in

31:53

Bahamas, lady in ice cream shop,

31:55

lady in trance, lady motor cop, lady

31:57

of the lake, lady shepherds, lady with

31:59

a Lady with that friend. Lady with

32:01

dog. Lady with hair. Lady with snake.

32:04

Lady with the cat. Lanky

32:06

Private. Lardass heckler number

32:08

two. Large billy idol

32:10

fan. Large football player. Large

32:13

man. Large woman. Larrant's nurse.

32:16

Laughing boy. Laughing

32:18

director. Laundry person. Laboratory

32:20

attendant. Leering man. Left

32:22

nut. Leggy blonde. Legless

32:24

soldier. Legs. Leopard

32:26

boy. Letters to Cleo singer.

32:29

Liberace lookalike. Library baby. Library

32:31

ghost. Library girl. Library goon.

32:34

Tenant buttocks. Linda's friend. Linda's

32:36

friend in kitchen. Link's pouty

32:38

dance partner. Lipstick face demon.

32:40

Liquid man number three. Little

32:43

boy. Little boy with birds.

32:45

Little Christmas boy. Little Christmas

32:47

girl. Little ghost girl. Little

32:49

guy's girlfriend. Little lead announces

32:51

grandma. Little screaming girl. Little

32:53

smoking girl. Living corpse. Lizard

32:55

boy. Lobby goon. Lobster man.

32:57

Lobster woman. Local guy. Lob

32:59

cabin girl. Loiterer. Lonely cop.

33:01

Lonely guy at theatre. Lonesome

33:04

lieutenant. Long face bar alien.

33:06

Long hair yuppie scum. Long

33:08

fingered boy. Loony woman. Loose

33:11

lady. Lost son. Lotto man.

33:13

Loud American wife. Loud

33:15

guy. Loud kid. Loud lady.

33:17

Louder guy. Loud mouth. Nouns

33:20

complainer. Loving man. Loving woman.

33:22

Low life number one. Lunatic.

33:25

Lunatic band member. Lynched man.

33:28

Macedonian God number one. Macho

33:31

attorney. Mad old man. Main

33:33

bad guy. Make out girl. Make

33:35

out guy. Make up babe. Making

33:37

out. Male officer in flashback.

33:40

Male robot. Male sticky contestant.

33:42

Malibu jail woman. Man at

33:44

funeral. Man at Hitler rally.

33:46

Man at museum postcard rack.

33:48

Man at tarpet. Man at

33:50

taxi convention. Man couch potato.

33:52

Man crying. Man eating dinner.

33:54

Man fighting. Man flowered pants.

33:56

Man ghost. Man glaust in

33:58

bar. Man in a hurry. Man

34:00

in a suit, man in basket, man in

34:02

bathtub, man in blue coat, man in bondage,

34:04

man in cage, man in Christmas box,

34:06

man in confessional, man in dark suit,

34:09

man in debt, man in dryer,

34:11

man in falafel barn, man in

34:13

fez, man in green jacket, man

34:15

in line. We're

34:18

just going to take a quick break for some

34:20

tranquil ads. The

34:22

illusionist is sponsored by Bombass,

34:24

makers of the softest t-shirts

34:27

and the most carefully designed socks,

34:29

from knee-high to low rise, lightweight

34:32

to thick, and in a range

34:34

of colours and patterns, all

34:36

with Bombass's thoughtful features like

34:38

extra art support and anti-blister

34:40

business. So your fancy socks

34:43

perform well, and your performance

34:45

socks are fancy well. Whatever

34:48

activity you need socks for, Bombass

34:51

have got you covered, specifically they've got your

34:53

feet covered. For instance, he

34:55

requires socks to wear while performing feats

34:57

of athleticism. Bombass has got a new

34:59

collaboration with none other than tennis legend

35:02

Venus Williams, who's not going to mess

35:04

with her sub-par performance sock, and they've

35:06

got her mottos stitched in to keep

35:08

your feet inspiration while they wick away

35:10

your perspiration. And as

35:12

always, Bombass donate an item

35:14

of clothing for everyone you

35:16

buy. So get comfy and

35:18

give back. Head over to

35:20

bombass.com/illusionist and use the code illusionist

35:23

for 20% of your first purchase.

35:26

That's beat them in. beat

35:28

8 s.com/ illusionist.

35:31

And use the code illusionist at checkout. The

35:34

illusionist is sponsored by Squarespace, our

35:36

one stop shop for creating and

35:38

running our own website. And I

35:40

just realised something, I've been using Squarespace

35:42

for more than 9 years now for

35:44

the illusionist.org and my other podcasts, VMI

35:47

pod.com. That's not the

35:49

thing I just realised, I've been aware of that the

35:51

whole time. But what I

35:53

realised is that in all that time,

35:56

Squarespace has succeeded at many things, making

35:58

it easy to build. The website

36:00

that is likely designed user friendly,

36:03

behind the scenes and in front

36:05

of the scenes automatically adopted the

36:07

browser tablet immobile. Is

36:10

what square space has failed to do. It.

36:12

Has failed to piss me off. In.

36:15

Nine years. Was. A

36:17

mighty achievement. I get pissed off at least forty

36:19

times a day. even buy things I like or

36:21

love with not you square space. Don't.

36:23

Try harder! Yeah, keep up this losing streak.

36:27

Etti Square space.com/illusionist.

36:30

For free trial. And when you're

36:32

ready to lot, he's the other code. Ali's next

36:34

to save ten percent of your first purchase of

36:37

a website. Or to me, He

36:39

knew to the conclusion list of

36:41

no name characters themselves. Man

36:45

In Need of A Save Man in Purple

36:47

Tie Man and Riot Man in the Car

36:49

at The Theater, Man in the Dungeon, Man

36:52

In the Rain. Man in tree man

36:54

and trump man and white coat. Man

36:56

killed a Mexican restaurant man mistaken

36:58

for both regular man moping man

37:01

on crap man on fire man

37:03

ordering shots man selling the hook

37:05

man serving divorce papers man shot

37:07

in had three man stealing tab

37:09

man on the microscope man on

37:11

interested man waiting to cross man

37:14

who cannot touch joe Man who

37:16

gets shot Man with a cough

37:18

mom with bloody foot mom with

37:20

dog man with duffel bag mom

37:22

with envelope mom with flame thrower

37:25

Man with give back. Mom with

37:27

goat Man with home Mom

37:29

with lighter man with mismatched

37:31

eyes man with mustache Mom

37:33

with nosebleed Mom with the

37:35

pigeons Mom with prosthetics playing

37:37

guitar Mom with stutter man

37:39

with the newspaper man with

37:41

the raised eyebrows Man with

37:43

holes Maniac mansion violinist mantis

37:45

man mariachi man marine that.

37:47

Guy's Molson Go Molson

37:49

Wife masturbating Roka must.

37:52

Guy matronly women, mature singles

37:54

man. Mathilde singles woman Mic

37:56

Reynolds's girl mean dude mean

37:59

face mean. Man on Subway,

38:01

mean Mongolian, meaner dude,

38:03

meanest dude, meat boy,

38:05

medieval kid, Meg Ryan

38:07

customer, melancholy musketeer, melon

38:09

lady, memory child, mensroom

38:11

man, mercenary in new

38:13

suit, Meryl Streep's posse,

38:15

metal kid, med girl,

38:17

Mexican at family dinner,

38:19

Mexican cowboy, Mexican DJ,

38:21

Mexican dignitary, Mexican dishwasher,

38:23

Mexican doctor, Mexican federale,

38:25

Mexican gorilla, Mexican joust,

38:27

woman in care, smoking,

38:29

Mexican maid, Mexican nun,

38:31

Mexican reporter, Mexican server,

38:34

Miami blonde, Miami brunette,

38:36

middle aged businessman, Mikey's

38:38

dream friend, milkskin blonde, mime

38:41

waitress, miscellaneous family member,

38:43

Miss Potato Famine of

38:45

1922, Miss Shapen Troglodyte,

38:48

Mitch's young blonde, moaning girl, Moby

38:50

type kid, mole man, mom in

38:53

Japanese jail waiting room, mom

38:55

in line, money hungry man,

38:57

Mongolian elder, monotonous voiced woman,

39:00

monster dad, montage opponent, moon

39:02

man double, mooner on plane,

39:04

mop executive, morgue attendant, Moroccan

39:06

market vendor, Moroccan minister, morose

39:09

old guy, mortal yuppie, mosh

39:11

pit oaf, mother and daughter

39:13

at death feast, mother walking

39:16

by, mother who dated pricks,

39:18

mother whose baby is snatched, mold

39:21

man, mountain man, mountain

39:23

of flesh, mourning harry christener,

39:25

mouse spouse, moustacheless man,

39:28

mrs. satman, muddies floozy

39:31

number two, mugger, mugging victim,

39:33

municipal dump owner, murder

39:35

bystander, murdered waitress, muffle

39:37

head, muscular boyfriend, music

39:40

lover guy, music nerd,

39:42

moustache boy, moustached goon,

39:44

moustachioed anarchist, mutant, mutant

39:46

biker, mutant child, mute

39:49

drummer boy, myspace escort,

39:51

mysterious Arabic woman, mysterious

39:53

woman, mystery man, mystery

39:55

woman, naked businessman, naked

39:58

guy in car, naked Indian, in. Naked

40:00

lady in car, naked

40:03

woman. Namibian scientist, NASA

40:05

wife, nasty man, nasty

40:07

stewardess, nasty teller, Natalie's

40:09

octopus brother, Nathan's corpse,

40:11

Nativity instigator, Nazi goon,

40:13

Neanderthal, Neanderthal number two,

40:15

near death patient, nearby

40:18

boy, nearby criminal,

40:20

never-she-husband. 1920's seance

40:22

attendee number four, 1949 cop, 1950's policeman, 1950's

40:24

lady, 1982 redhead,

40:30

911 nun,

40:34

neighbor lady, neighbor man,

40:36

neighbor with roses, nervous

40:38

accountant, nervous cheerleader, nervous

40:40

engineer, new trogena,

40:42

national gymnastics championship gymnast, never

40:45

called again bar woman, new

40:47

daughter, new sweet boyfriend of mother who

40:49

dated pricks, new york guy,

40:51

newscaster at execution, next

40:54

woman in line, nice lady,

40:56

nice lady on plane, nice

40:58

old grocery man, Nicholas's girl,

41:00

next wife, Nigerian vendor, night

41:03

slasher, nightclub lunk, nightmare character,

41:05

nipple confusion guitarist, nipples,

41:08

no abomer man, no

41:10

sideburns, no sideburns his

41:12

friend, no manager, noisy

41:14

neighbor, Nordic blonde, normal

41:16

dad, Norwegian assassin, Norwegian

41:18

witch, nose biter, nosebleed

41:21

woman, nosebleed woman's best

41:23

friend, noseless troubladite, nosy

41:25

neighbor, not Denzel, not me

41:27

man, not professor X, not

41:30

Zach, nude pomegranate Tory, nursery

41:32

zombie, oafish foster father, oafish

41:34

rank man, oblivious mum, obnoxious

41:37

bar guy, obnoxious bus kid,

41:39

obnoxious customer, obnoxious sky, obnoxious

41:41

son, obnoxious toddler, obnoxious woman

41:44

in elevator, obsequious executive, occultist

41:46

number four, octopus ride operator,

41:49

octopus security guard, odor eater

41:51

babe, offended customer, ogling man,

41:54

boingo, boingo band member, bold

41:56

crone, bold crusty man, bold

41:58

dead soldier, Old dude, old

42:01

duffer, old farmer, old fisherman, old

42:03

indian, old jewish man, old lady,

42:05

old lady pushing wheelchair Old man,

42:07

old man in headlights, old man

42:09

in town, old man on toilet,

42:11

old man on train, old man

42:13

under truck, old man with flowers,

42:16

old mountain woman, old naked man,

42:18

old pirate, old prospector, old scientist,

42:21

old timer, old west doggy

42:23

dude Old woman asked for lunch, old

42:25

woman in pyjamas, old yacht

42:27

man, older dude, older man

42:30

at beach bar, older man in

42:32

boat, older smaller woman, older woman

42:34

at beach bar, older woman in

42:36

boat, oldest lady, olives dead lover

42:39

One ear, one eyed Salvadorian, one

42:41

of jinx girls, one eyed informant,

42:43

one legged man, one man xylophone

42:45

kick drum band, one night stand

42:47

guy, one percenter number one On

42:49

the girl, orange suit man, orc

42:51

hot-eared party, orc housewife, ordinary

42:53

guy, organ player clown, other

42:56

apache, other cop, other cowboy,

42:58

other doctor, other fisherman, other

43:00

gorilla, other inmate, other man

43:02

at auction for the screaming

43:04

girl Out of work actor,

43:06

overdressed lady, oversharing man, overweight

43:08

freshman, overworked detective, oyster

43:10

man, pack of cigarettes, pageant

43:13

yodeler, pained man, painted

43:15

lady, pakasnani chef, pakasnani

43:17

profritor Palestinian

43:19

teacher, pallbearer, palsied lady, anarchy

43:22

woman, pants at angle sky,

43:24

pants on fire person, paperclip

43:27

guy, parades child, parasol lady,

43:29

parrot lady, party-busting pop,

43:31

party-buckler robot, party chick,

43:33

party child, party guy,

43:35

party wife passerby, passing

43:37

scholar, passing student, pathetic

43:40

defiant man, patient woman,

43:42

peanut vendor, hair juggler,

43:44

pedestrian with cupcake, peeing man,

43:46

peeing man friend, peeing man

43:48

with dog, peering girl on

43:51

train pencil machine operator, pepper

43:53

spray cutie, perfect boy, perfect

43:55

girl, perfect mum, perfect

43:58

passenger, period blood girl Perky

44:00

Girl, Perky Salesman, Person digging in

44:03

the alley, Peruvian porter, pet activist

44:05

at party, Peter lookalike, Petite

44:07

nurse, Pharmacist slash clown,

44:10

Pharmacy stoner, Phone sex

44:12

sister, Fizz-Ed dweeb, Piano

44:14

Brodigy, Piano Wholesaler, Piano

44:16

Playing Policeman, Pick me up

44:18

kid, Pig Pocket with six watches, Pig

44:20

Pocket for Compass, Pie Guy, Pie Lady,

44:23

Pig Tailed Blonde Server, Pigeon

44:25

Boy, Pilgrim Man, Pilot

44:27

Friend, Timbles, Simply Faced

44:29

Freshman, Pimpy Faced Kid,

44:31

Pinata Woman, Pinball Cowboy,

44:33

Pinching Customer, Pinecone Girl,

44:36

Pinkberry Executive, Pizza Boy,

44:38

Pizza Skateboarder, Slacid Man,

44:40

Flinko's Goon One, Slate

44:42

Spinner, Pleading civilian woman, Pleading

44:44

woman, Plump Blonde, Plump

44:46

Neighbor, Plump Woman, Polar Bear

44:49

Woman, Police Officer who gets

44:51

shot, Policeman who takes statement

44:53

from Vagrant, Policeman with theory,

44:55

Polish landlady, Polish officer, Polish

44:58

workman, her light husband, political

45:00

prisoner, Pormated Man, Pond Boy,

45:02

Ponytail Hitman, Pool Hall Creep,

45:05

Pool Hall Goon, Pool Room

45:07

Thug One, Pope, Porkman,

45:09

Porno Stage Hand, Posh

45:11

Lady, Potatoes, Potential Juror

45:13

Number Nine, Poultry Man,

45:15

Pouting Boy, Pouting Girl,

45:17

Prying Woman, Praying Applicant,

45:19

Prying Man, Prying Soldier,

45:21

Preacher Murderer, Pregnant Customer,

45:23

Prehistoric Pregnant Woman, Prehistoric

45:25

Woman, Premium Fantasy Woman,

45:27

Presence Number Three, President's

45:30

Robot Daughter, Pretty Beach

45:32

Girl, Pretty Boy, Pretty

45:34

German Girl, Pretty Girl, Pretty Girl at

45:36

Shoe Store, Pretty Girl Bowler, Pretty

45:39

Girl Gym Number One, Pretty Hitchhiker,

45:41

Pretty Lady, Pretty DeGost Girl, Pretty

45:44

Woman, Pretty Woman in NYC Doorway, Pretty Young Thing

45:46

at Wedding, Priest

45:48

on the Beach, Primal Man, Princess

45:51

on Air Matrix, Prisoner, Pro-Choice Woman,

45:53

Professional Woman, Prostate Nurse,

45:55

Prosthetic Leg Kid, Protestant Number

45:58

Two, Provocative Dancer, Like

46:00

except photo blogger like a guy

46:02

total soldier party guy put a

46:04

rican can see way to put

46:07

a rican housekeeper puke in boxer.

46:09

Think. Tank Girl In Think. Punk

46:11

Receptionist Punk Rock by Antitrust

46:14

Purple Lady Her Spade Number

46:16

Two Puffs Man Puzzle Mass

46:18

Quack Doctor. Queens Businessmen

46:20

System Lady Quiznos. Guy:

46:22

Rabid sports fan racist

46:24

spitting women. Racist kid

46:27

racquetball colleague random Amsterdam stoner

46:29

random skinhead rap and white

46:31

though rock and alien. Altman

46:35

Rat. When the way the dude

46:37

lady to have that skill ready to

46:39

have sex is friend. Real homeboy,

46:41

real church, really drunk man,

46:43

really time dude reaper who

46:45

takes Lulu for subsistence new

46:48

distance Him: Red faced Noon

46:50

What head Which. Led had

46:52

had it took says that had

46:54

it fellow red headed lady said

46:56

had a sex slave red headed

46:58

pin reformed steam and number one

47:00

refugee dog reindeer though religious zealot

47:03

number. Six reluctant, certain upheld

47:05

pacify Repulsed strip club

47:07

patron retirement home assassin

47:09

Rhino Wrangler rich tent

47:12

which lady which man

47:14

which old reached old

47:16

lady twit rich woman

47:18

in months. And right

47:20

hand ringworm Mother River Woman

47:23

robot quarters and robot delivery.

47:25

Mon Number Two. Robot Thief

47:27

Rock folk. Rock. Climbing

47:29

dude number one Roka dude

47:32

process Friend: Romanian accountant rookie

47:34

angel Protons: drunk roughneck number

47:37

two Rpg nerd rather man

47:39

group Excuse boy. Rude.

47:41

Man ruined old man

47:44

room spreading Executive Russian

47:46

announcer. Russian bodyguard was and

47:48

border guard with some pro pastor

47:50

robson gangster Russians henchmen brush an

47:52

interpreter boston lead officer Russian made.

47:55

Russian mechanic Russian mobster Russian thing

47:57

to Russian Police Officer Madison Police.

48:00

Russian priest, Russian radio operator,

48:02

Russian scientist, Russian singer, Russian

48:04

soldier, Russian taxi driver, Russian

48:07

thug, Russian waitress, Rasti's French

48:09

girl, she probably is 50.

48:12

She's a special snake girl, sad

48:14

autographed boy, sad geek, sad

48:17

cute girl, sad looking girl,

48:19

sad man in line, sad

48:21

geek, sad woman, sad

48:23

woman with horns, sailor's friend,

48:25

sales guy, salesman with a

48:27

rubber duck, salon customer number

48:29

two, same shirt girl, San

48:31

Francisco guy, sandwich game, sandwich

48:34

method, fantastic British

48:36

reporter, fantastic cop,

48:38

fantastic teacher, sarsaparilla man,

48:40

Saudi translator, sausage

48:42

girl, save ferris singer, save

48:44

the rhino man, saved baby,

48:46

saved woman, say no

48:49

more woman, sculp taker, scalper, skunk

48:52

with squirt gun, scantily clad

48:54

woman, scared batter, scared girl,

48:56

scared man, scared popcorn man,

48:59

scary German guy, scary inmate,

49:01

scary prisoner, sci-fi bodysuit girl,

49:04

scrabble man, scraggly vagrant,

49:06

scrawny kid, screaming tasumu

49:08

woman, second

49:39

man, second man, second protester,

49:42

second victim, second

49:44

whore, second woman, secret service

49:46

thug number two, security guard

49:49

with lobsters, CD

49:51

bar patron, CD biker, seizure

49:53

customer, Selena's astral image, self-conscious

49:57

bridesmaid, semen man, sensitive

49:59

moviegoer, Serious Woman,

50:01

Sewage Plant Manager, Sewer Monster,

50:03

Sewer Harg No. 1, Sex

50:06

Edition Group Member, Sex Offender

50:08

No. 3, Sex Slave Girl,

50:10

Sex Slave with Blonde Partner,

50:13

Sexaholic, Sexy Blonde, Sexy Businesswoman,

50:15

Sexy Girl, Sexy Neighbor, Sexy

50:18

PA, Sexy Prignant TV Star,

50:20

Sexy Center Stripper, Sexy Senior Bowler, Sexy

50:22

Sister, Sexy Waitress, Sexy Woman, Shabby Woman,

50:25

Shadow Boy, Shady Character Outlaw, Sexy Patient,

50:58

Shouting Pro, Show a Girl, Shredded

51:00

Wheat Man, Shut Up Lady,

51:02

Shy Waiter, Sickly Nerd, Silver

51:04

Suit Man, Simone's Gang

51:07

No. 2, Sinner at Fadesite,

51:09

Singing Bush, Voice, Singing Kangaroo,

51:11

Singing Lady, Singing Prisoner, Singing

51:14

Soldier, Singing Vigilante, Sister

51:16

Fetus, 60

51:18

Year Old Man, 70 Year

51:20

Old Waiter, Skanky Dealer, Skate

51:23

Punk Guy, Skating Audily,

51:25

Skeptical Father, Skiing Customer,

51:27

Skinhead, Skinny Prisoner, Skype

51:29

Son, Slacker, Slapped

51:31

Man, Slapping Brunette, Sleepover Friend,

51:34

Sleepy Girl, Sleepy Time Boy,

51:36

Slicked Guy, Slicked Hair Man,

51:38

Slimy Guy, Slimy Lawyer, Slob

51:41

Child, Slow Clapper, Slow Recruit,

51:43

Small Drunk, Small Guy, Small

51:46

Liar, Small Ponytail, Small Son,

51:48

Small Woman's Friend, Smarmy Old

51:50

Man, Smart Guy, Smiling

51:52

Man, Smiling Receptionist, Smug

51:54

Intern, Smug Kid, Snaggle

51:56

Tooth Monk, Snake Bite Lady, Snake

51:59

Oil Salesman, Sniffle girl, snatched

52:01

baby, snobby saleswoman, snocking,

52:03

sobbing girl, sobbing nun,

52:05

sobbing technician, sobbing woman,

52:07

soccer playing sherpa, social

52:09

security man, society man,

52:11

society woman, soda machine

52:13

man, sodomised cop, soft

52:16

nick, soft voice woman, fair

52:18

dude, soldier, death throes, soldier

52:21

in mist, soldier who finds elizabeth,

52:23

soldier who gets smacked, soldier

52:25

who sees ape, solemn anarchist,

52:27

some asshole, some farmer, some

52:30

guy, soon to be dead man number three,

52:33

sort of weird guy, soup

52:35

lady, powerpuss immigration man, south

52:37

african reporter, south american

52:39

vip, south korean scientist,

52:41

southern gentleman, space babe, space

52:43

people eat my mum and dad, spanish

52:46

bartender, spanish captain, spanish dignitary,

52:49

spanish nurse, spanish official, spanish

52:51

park goer, spanish reporter in

52:54

munich underground, special effects man,

52:56

spectator, spectator slash soda thrower,

52:59

speedo guy, sperm,

53:01

spinster number three, spooked memphis

53:03

cop, spooky hotel bartender, sport

53:05

magazine guy, sports car man,

53:07

spot the dog, spotty man,

53:10

squabbling husband, squat old lady,

53:12

squealing girl in parking lot,

53:14

squid man, squirrely assistant, stabbed

53:17

gambler, stable boy, stern

53:19

nurse, steve girl,

53:21

stolen pencil case girl,

53:23

stomach operator, stoned boy,

53:25

stoned motorcycle cop, stoner

53:27

guy number one, straggler, straighter,

53:30

strange lady, stranger on train,

53:32

strangled deputy, street crony, street

53:34

dude, street person, stretchy boy,

53:36

stringy haired woman, strip club

53:38

pervert, strung out guy, stuck

53:41

up girl, studious co-ed, duggliest

53:44

kid at bar mitzvah, stuffy old

53:46

guy, stun gun girl, stunning

53:49

woman, stunt baby, subpoena

53:51

man, suburban businessman,

53:53

subway ghost, subway rat woman,

53:56

sudoku man, suicidal freshman,

53:58

suicide man, Suicide Nurse

54:00

Sullen Warder Sunburned Old Man

54:03

Sunburned Sailor Sunset Corpse

54:05

Superhot Giant Alien Supermarket Stud Surf

54:08

Nazi Number 5 Surfer

54:10

Dude Surgeon in Nightmare Surprised

54:13

Neighbor Sump Village Chief Swarthy

54:16

Cop Swarthy Man Sweater Dog

54:18

Lady Sweater Friend Sweater Guy

54:20

Sweating Copper Massage Parlor Sweaty

54:23

Dealer Sweatish Chef Sweet

54:25

Kid Sweet Man Sweet Old

54:28

Lady with Dog Swiff Businessman

54:30

Swiff Guardsman Sword Salesman Taco

54:33

Bell Entertainer Talking Joint Tall

54:36

Husband Tall Indonesian Brinker Tall

54:38

Memphis Top Tall Witch

54:40

Tap Dancing Classmate Tarzan's Girl

54:44

Tattooed Kidnapper Tattooed Man at

54:46

Factory Tattooed Torturer Taunting

54:48

Classmate Tavern Mad Teacher with

54:50

Carrot Teen Babe Number 1

54:53

Teen Bistender Teenage Cowboy Teenage

54:55

Cyborg Teenage ostrich girl

54:57

Tenement Murderer Tenement Snitch

54:59

Terminated Employee Terrible Liar

55:01

Girl Terrified Girl Terrified

55:04

Soldier Thanks for the loan Mr.

55:06

Tumson The Abused Neighbor

55:08

The Accountant The Alien The Blonde

55:11

The Bunny The Cheetah The Chestnut vendor

55:13

The Confused Girl For The Crying Man

55:15

The Deformed Man The Devil Voice

55:17

The Dogs The Eggman The Erotic

55:19

Commisser The Fat Man The Fat One

55:22

Who Sweats A Lot The Frintic Lady

55:24

The Frog The Future The Gal at

55:26

The Piano The Guy The Guy at

55:28

The Piano The Helpful Sailor The Kansas

55:31

Runaway The King of Dry Cleaning

55:33

The King of Sweden The Lady The

55:35

Lying Woman The Man with the Big

55:37

Suit The Marine Sister The

55:39

Minotaur The Moper The Mute Envalid

55:42

The Nervous Man The Old Whore

55:44

The Other Thief A Poke The

55:46

Predator slash Helicopter Pilot The Pussy

55:49

Reporter The Quiet Man The Red

55:51

Head The Supesnatcher The Squatch Man

55:53

The Stomach The Strawberry Alarm Clock

55:56

The Thief The Vegetable The

55:58

Wench The Zany Reporter Theatre

56:00

Dork. Therapy Businessman. The

56:02

Mummeter Boy. Firmestat Girl. Thin Cop. Thin

56:05

Grizzled Man. 13 year old boy in bar. Those

56:07

we don't speak of. 3 Brasted Woman. 3 Card Monty

56:09

Chump. 3 Card Monty Victim. 3 Headed

56:11

Devil. Thug. Thug with Yo-Yo.

56:14

Thug's Girlfriend. Thug-ish Constable. Ticket Scalper.

56:16

Timid Crew Member. Timid Girl.

56:18

Timid Woman. Tina Turner Impersonator No. 4.

56:21

Tinder Boy. Tiny Freshman. Tiny

56:23

Old Man. Trony's Short Sky. Timi

56:25

Woman. Tipsy Cop. Tired Beef.

56:28

Toe Suckin Girl. Toilet Man. Tom's

56:30

Other Wife. Tommy's Girlfriend at Copa. Tongue

56:32

Giant. Toothbrush Girl.

56:34

Toothless Arab. Toothless Carnie. Toothless

56:37

Cheerleader. Toothless Cowboy. Toothless

56:39

Cripple. Toothless Flower Girl. Toothless Flower

56:41

Girl. Toothless Celebrity Girl. Toothless Cgentine

56:43

Girl. Toothless Little Boy. Toothless Candy.

56:46

Toothless Croom Man. Toothless Elephant Man.

56:48

ToothlessCarpa. Toothless Botany. Toothless confer.

56:51

Toothless Expo. Toothless Gambler. Toothless

56:53

Gardener. Toothless Man. Toothless

56:55

Merchant. Toothless Redneck. Toothless Woman.

56:58

Topless Angel. Topless Customer. Topless

57:00

Student. Tautless Lady. Tortured

57:02

Pink Girl. Tip number three. Tough

57:04

Boy. Tough Female Customer. Tough Girl. Tough

57:07

Guy. Tough Looking Guy. Tough Boy. Trailer

57:10

Grandma. Tree. Tropical

57:12

Fish Lady. Troubled Guy. Truck Driver's

57:15

Buddy. Trumpet Kid. TSA Zombie. Tuna

57:17

Salad Cane. Tuna Salad Cane. Tuna

57:19

Salad Cane. TSA Zombie. Tuna

57:21

Salad Guy. Turkey

57:23

Man. Turkey Sandwich. Turkish General. Turkish

57:26

Guard. Turkish Prisoner. Turned On

57:28

Man. Turned On Woman. Tweaker. Tweaker

57:31

Teen Number Two. Twelve Fingered

57:33

Piernist. Twitchy Corporal. Twitchy

57:35

Dealer. Twitchy Suspect. Two

57:38

Fingered Man. $2,500 Man. Tarkun.

57:42

UFO Abductee. Ugly Starfir. Ugly

57:44

Waiter. Ukrainian Prisoner. Ukrainian Trained Passenger.

57:47

Ukrainian Train Passenger. Ukrainian Train Passenger.

57:50

Ukulele Playing Soldier. Ultrasound Baby. Umbrella

57:52

Guy. Uncomfortable Waitress. Undead

57:54

Gordy Hooker. Undead Little Girl. Undead

57:56

Stripper Number Two. Undead Little Girl. Undead

57:58

Stripper Number Two. Undead Stripper Number Two. Undercover

58:00

bum, undercover domino player, undercover

58:03

hooker, ungainly swimmer,

58:05

unimpressed woman, Union Station

58:07

woman, unlucky bastard, unpopular

58:09

80s boy, unshaven

58:12

thug, Upper West Red Lady,

58:14

UPS guy, upset passenger, uptight

58:16

mum, uptight mummy, uptight neighbour,

58:19

uptight woman, urinal boy, vampire

58:21

doorman, vampire neighbour, vampire pianist,

58:24

vampire trophy wife, very dumb

58:26

football player, very large man,

58:28

very old man, Viagra sample

58:31

nurse, victory party celebrity

58:33

soldier, video game babe,

58:35

Vietnamese artist, Vietnamese Jesus,

58:37

villain A, vineyard cutie,

58:40

violent wife, violinist at death

58:42

feast, virtual girlfriend, virtual

58:45

psychiatrist, virtual reality woman,

58:47

veto's girlfriend, vodka lady,

58:49

vomit creature, vomit reporter,

58:52

waffle bot voice, waggish

58:54

tourist, wailing mourner, wailing

58:56

woman, waiting customer, waltzing

58:58

crab patron, wanking man, wannaget

59:01

high guy, warlord's daughter, warrior

59:03

alien, wasp woman, wasted guy,

59:06

water glass virtuoso, water man,

59:09

watermelon girl, watermelon guy, waxing

59:11

lady, waxworks proprietor, wealthy dowager,

59:13

weathered human, wedding baby, wedding

59:16

bagpiper, weeping woman, weird dude, weird

59:18

guy with monster trucks, weird old

59:20

man, wild ghost man, well endowed

59:23

wife, warwolf angler, wet

59:25

cinema patron, wet t-shirt girl, what

59:28

the boy, where's the beef girl, whipped

59:30

miner, whispering gallery lady,

59:32

whispering guest at mass party,

59:34

whispering man, whispering woman, whistling

59:36

girl, whistling lunatic, white

59:39

guy 5, white haired gentleman,

59:41

white shorts, white supremacist girl,

59:43

whoop boy, wife of angry

59:46

man number 3, wife of driver, wife

59:48

of horse husband, wife of hue

59:50

glass, wife of man with prosthetics,

59:53

wig salesman, wilson's other dad,

59:55

windbag, window boy, window yeller,

59:57

winking dancer, wisest comic, Eyes

1:00:00

going. Witch number four. Woman at

1:00:02

Burning Villa. Woman at Confession. Woman

1:00:05

at Funeral. Woman at Pancake Counter.

1:00:07

Woman at Poker Game. Woman at

1:00:09

Schmorgasbord. Woman at Target. Woman being

1:00:11

interviewed. Woman buying videotapes. Woman caught

1:00:14

behind desks. Woman couch

1:00:16

potato. Woman crying. Woman from Pasadena.

1:00:18

Woman ghost. Woman giving statement. Woman

1:00:20

in bed. Woman in Christmas shop.

1:00:23

Woman in fancy dress. Woman in

1:00:25

green. Woman in line. Woman in pie

1:00:27

contest number one. Woman in Porsche. Woman

1:00:30

in the puppet theater. Woman mourning Helen.

1:00:32

I'm still alive, it's okay. Woman on

1:00:34

balcony. Woman on bridge. Woman on the

1:00:36

news number two. Woman shot in the

1:00:39

head. Woman trampled. Woman under Ray's

1:00:41

car. Woman who bought television. Woman

1:00:43

who looks nothing like Jordana. Woman

1:00:46

whose car gets stolen. Woman with

1:00:48

bucket. Woman with champagne. Woman

1:00:50

with pen. Woman with red pillow. Woman

1:00:52

with soup. Woman in

1:00:54

line. Woody Allen look alike.

1:00:56

Working class bar patron. World's

1:00:58

greatest dad. Wounded kid. Wounded player.

1:01:00

Wrong kid in alley. Yelling

1:01:03

cop. Yelling kid. Yellow shirt.

1:01:06

Yes executive. Yet another

1:01:08

aide. Yet another anchorman. Yet another

1:01:10

girl. Yo-yo boy. Yogurt

1:01:12

man. Young aristocrat. Young attractive

1:01:15

woman. Young cowboy. Young clown.

1:01:17

Young Henry's older brother. Young

1:01:19

hot girl. Young hot guy.

1:01:22

Young psycho. Young raptor

1:01:24

handler. Young revolutionary. Young

1:01:27

woman's who prefers. Useful

1:01:29

anarchist. YouTube guy. Yepi

1:01:31

dad. Yepi girl. Yepi hostage.

1:01:33

Yepi in Corvette. Yepi with

1:01:36

squeaky shoes. Zestfully clean woman.

1:01:38

Zit boy. Zombie clown

1:01:40

number 10. Zombie dad.

1:01:43

Zombie decapitated by Teddy Roosevelt.

1:01:46

Zombie killed by Garden Rake. And

1:01:49

zombie patient. Those

1:01:52

are a lot of the people in the credits

1:01:54

of films whose characters do not have names. You

1:02:09

can hear more of me on some other

1:02:11

podcasts. I'm on a recent episode of Random

1:02:13

Pursuit, playing Trivial Pursuit from a huge collection

1:02:15

of editions, some of which I am better

1:02:18

adapted to than others. And

1:02:20

I'm on the new episode of our

1:02:22

palusionist, She Done It, the show about

1:02:24

golden age detective fiction. Caroline Crapton and

1:02:26

I are talking about the Dorothy L.

1:02:28

Fair's murder mystery, The Unpleasaneness at the

1:02:31

Ballona Club. It's an unpleasantness quite the

1:02:33

euphemism for a murder. Even

1:02:35

if you haven't read the book, it's always a very fine

1:02:37

show to listen to. Here's She Done

1:02:39

It and Random Pursuit in the pod

1:02:41

places where you pod-seekers find your podcast.

1:02:45

Your randomly selected word from the dictionary

1:02:47

today is... Hexi-ity,

1:02:54

noun, philosophy, the

1:02:56

quality of a thing that makes it unique or

1:02:58

describable as this one. Two, individuality,

1:03:03

try using Hexi-ity in any world

1:03:05

at all. This

1:03:07

episode was produced by me, Helen Zoltman.

1:03:10

The music is by Martin Orstrup. Get

1:03:13

his songs at palebirdmusic.com and listen

1:03:15

to his podcasts, song by song and

1:03:17

neutrino watch. Huge thanks

1:03:20

to Jez Burrows for allowing me to use

1:03:22

his work. You can buy it in book form.

1:03:24

It's called And Introducing. And you can

1:03:26

also get his book's dictionary stories. Find

1:03:28

the books and the rest of

1:03:30

his work at jezburrows.com. Our

1:03:33

ad partner is Multitude. Ad spots

1:03:35

are available for this show in

1:03:38

2024. If you would like

1:03:40

me to talk about your product or thing,

1:03:42

contact multitude at multitude.production.ads.

1:03:46

Find a illusionist show on the social

1:03:48

networks and you can hear or read

1:03:50

every episode, Tranquil illusionist and not. You can

1:03:53

donate to the show and become a member of

1:03:55

the illusionverse with many perks awaiting you.

1:03:57

And if you're one of the people

1:03:59

who is... contact me asking for me

1:04:01

to spell out the randomly selected words

1:04:03

in the dictionary, you can actually see the

1:04:05

whole dictionary entry for every episode at

1:04:07

the show's forever home, theillusionist.org.