0:00

Hey, it's Ray Magliotti here, and before we start the

0:02

show, I want to thank those of you who have already

0:05

signed up for Car Talk Plus. Now,

0:07

for the rest of you who haven't, what are you, nuts?

0:10

For just a few bucks a month, you can listen

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Go to the Car Talk channel at Apple Podcasts

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or go to plus.npr.org

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slash Car Talk. Hello

0:27

and

0:46

welcome to Car Talk on National

0:48

Public Radio. With us, Click and Clack, the Tappert

0:50

brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from

0:53

the Center for Linguistic Studies here

0:55

at Car Talk Plaza. Yes, hot

0:57

off the press for immediate release from the Hyundai

1:00

News Bureau. Why Hyundai did

1:02

this, I don't know.

1:03

Fountain Valley, California, January 1995. Residents

1:06

of Georgia, the Carolinas, and the other southern states

1:09

can bask in the knowledge that they have the

1:11

most liked, most recognizable,

1:13

and sexiest regional American

1:16

accent in the United States. New

1:19

Yorkers scored highest in two categories.

1:21

Do you know what they are? Yeah, crude. And

1:23

unintelligible. Close. Unintelligible.

1:26

The most intimidating

1:29

and the least liked American

1:32

accent. Now, get this,

1:34

and this is, I'm sure we have a lot

1:36

to do with the following. I'm sure we may

1:38

be solely responsible. Bostonians

1:42

took honors for sounding

1:44

the smartest. Yes.

1:46

Well, anyone that says words like aunt. I

1:50

mean, what are we, getting here or what? Actually,

1:55

there's a few more things. The sexiest

1:57

female movie star accent was.

1:59

Safiel Oren and

2:02

who was the sexiest male movie star accent?

2:04

Well, it was a shoo-in for this one Sean

2:07

Connery. Absolutely Sean Connery now

2:09

what in the world would Hyundai I

2:11

Think they have a car called the accent

2:14

Hey, so they stretching it

2:16

a lot. Well, they have a car car.

2:19

I mean when you're a big company like this You got nothing else

2:21

to do. You gotta spend your money on your money So

2:23

forget things like that talk about squander

2:25

if you'd like to squander some time talking to us Our

2:27

numbers 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're

2:31

on Car Talk. Hi, this is David

2:33

from Montana. David.

2:35

How are you guys doing? I'm doing pretty well. We're

2:37

about in Montana. I'm up by Glacier

2:39

Park South Tippa

2:41

Glacier Park. Is the glacier receded

2:44

at all? Watch

2:49

and move huh? Hey, do you see

2:51

that? It's equivalent

2:54

to watching paint dry Like

2:56

you know half inch a month and that's pretty that's

2:58

pretty good. Yeah, that's not bad. That's not

3:00

bad What's on your mind David? Well, I've

3:03

got a serious problem, which I hope

3:05

you guys

3:05

can can help me Well, I hope we can

3:07

serious very elderly Subaru

3:10

brat. We went through high school together and well

3:12

we've been together for 13 years and The

3:16

lights are going out on it at a very

3:19

inopportune moment I was recently

3:21

driving down a windy mountain

3:24

road at night with black ice on the

3:26

road and Had

3:28

a car coming towards me and all of a sudden

3:30

my lights went out on me. Just boom

3:33

your headlights Yeah,

3:35

both headlights at the same time. Yes,

3:37

everything went and it was

3:40

a very Unnerving experience

3:42

when you say everything went what's everything the

3:44

dash lights? And

3:47

the headlights, okay, but everything else continued

3:49

to work right right your

3:51

radio is still working It's

3:53

sort of sort of faded in and

3:55

out right well. That's because you're up in the sticks there

4:00

Oh the light, yeah, understandably. Well that

4:02

faded in and out. Faded in and out. Okay, so

4:05

what have you done to try to correct this? Because I can

4:07

name any number of things that could be responsible for this,

4:09

but... Well, I guess the only

4:11

thing that I've done at this point was to replace

4:13

the fuse holder which melted.

4:16

I actually had to tape the wires

4:18

to the fuse to get myself home because

4:20

this whole thing, I heard it smell this burning

4:23

sound. Oh, good, good. Whenever

4:25

anyone gets in the car they say, what's that? You know,

4:28

it's just my headlight fuse burning

4:30

up and... There should be more than one headlight

4:32

fuse though. Yeah, and there's three.

4:34

There's a high beam, a low beam, and then a headlight

4:36

switch. And it's the headlight switch. The

4:40

fuse, that's the fuse that's melting. That's melting

4:42

and I sort of replaced the holder and I

4:45

don't drive at night anymore.

4:47

You don't? I just don't drive at night, I don't want to... That's

4:49

good, I like it. I mean, how interested are you in

4:51

doing the proper fix? Or would

4:54

you like us to give you the Walt Disney

4:56

otherwise known as the Mickey Mouse solution? I

4:58

think I want to hear the whole range of stuff.

5:01

Sure, the gamut. Give them the gamut, man. Yeah.

5:03

Well, I mean, the first thing that comes to mind is that you have

5:05

a bad headlight switch and the switch

5:07

on this thing is mounted on the dash, is it not? Ah. How

5:11

do you turn the headlights on? Is it on

5:13

the stalk? Yeah, I just pull it. No, it's on the... It's

5:15

on the dash, you pull it out. Yeah. That's

5:18

what's wrong. Oh. I mean, that would affect all

5:20

the lights, including the dash, because when that's

5:22

off, the dash lights are off, the radio

5:24

light is off and so forth. So

5:27

you've got a shortness in there. Wow.

5:29

Yeah, or it's probably arcing or something. Who knows what

5:31

it's doing, but they may still make

5:33

a switch for this. If they don't, you can

5:36

buy... You can make one. You

5:39

can take that course. It's one of those correspondence

5:42

courses. No, you'll be able

5:44

to go to the Subaru dealer and order a new headlight

5:46

switch. I bet you, when you take this

5:48

thing out, you'll find that it's probably melted too.

5:51

Right. Right. Well, and I

5:53

had this other... Another sort of little

5:56

twinge of doubt popped into the back of my mind

5:58

where I remembered I had five...

6:32

maybe

8:00

buy a relay too. Okay and

8:02

a flashlight. One

8:05

of those things, one of those miners helmet. One of

8:07

those humongous ones that holds about 20 batteries.

8:10

You can just pop that baby out the window.

8:12

Mount them on the fenders. Find two of

8:16

them. Good luck David. Bye bye. 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

8:22

Hi, this is Theresa in Fort Worth. Theresa?

8:25

Yes. Theresa with an H or with an ERE?

8:28

ERE. Gotcha. From Fort

8:30

Worth. From Fort Worth, Texas. Heard of it.

8:33

Yeah. Good. What's up?

8:35

Well, in a few months I'm going to be moving

8:37

to Norway and that has created a car problem

8:40

for me. Oh, Norway.

8:42

Yeah. I need to know what car to take.

8:45

Well you have one, you have two. Two choices.

8:47

Ah, how long would

8:50

it be in Norway?

8:50

How long would it be in Norway? At least two years. Oh, you're

8:53

gonna have to buy yourself some Nokia Hockia

8:55

Politis. You know

8:57

what those are. And they're not

8:59

Norwegian long underwear either. How fun! This is a

9:02

family show. Can you buy yourself

9:04

one? Aren't they made in Norway? They are, aren't

9:06

they? No, Finland. They're made in Finland. Finland,

9:08

Norway, I mean all of them. They

9:11

should just buy those three countries

9:13

into one country. And call it what? No

9:16

way. No,

9:18

you left out Sweden. Oh, Sweden.

9:21

I don't, I mean it's too common.

9:23

Norway, Sweden, Sweden, or Sweden. Yeah.

9:25

Sweden, or Sweden. How about Swindland? That's

9:27

what it used to be called. Oh,

9:30

what? Pardon? Say

9:32

it again?

9:33

Nokia Hockia Politis. Nokia

9:35

Hockia Politis.

9:36

I'm sure we sell those in Texas. I'm

9:38

sure you do. Those are

9:40

Finnish snow tires. Yeah. Oh, you'll have those.

9:42

They reputed to be the finest snow

9:45

tires in the world. Well, what are the two cars?

9:47

Okay, I have a Chrysler minivan

9:50

and it has a 100,000 miles on it.

9:52

Okay, leave that here. Leave that here, right?

9:54

Well, you see, I have to have- No

9:56

wells about it. There are no wells about

9:58

it, Theresa. The minivan. Stays

10:00

in Fort Worth with the other one

10:02

and the other car is a Toyota 4runner And

10:06

it's

10:07

I have 40,000 miles on it But

10:09

I have to wrestle it away from my almost

10:11

soon to be ex-husband because he's the one that

10:13

bought it Almost

10:15

soon to be ex-husband. Did you win

10:17

Norway and the divorce settlement? Why

10:20

are you going there for two you're hiding out? Business

10:23

you want to get as far away from that deadbeat

10:25

as she possibly can and she wants

10:27

the car I don't blame

10:29

you Teresa. You don't have to answer why you're going to Norway

10:32

We people have personal reasons for going to Norway.

10:34

Maybe maybe Teresa wants to know you Norwegian.

10:37

No What's in Norway?

10:39

Norwegian school of management. No

10:41

kidding. You're going to school. No, I'm going to

10:43

be on the faculty there. No kidding Yes,

10:45

what do you teach accounting?

10:47

All right? Well, I think you have to get used

10:50

by whatever trickery is necessary You

10:52

have to get the 4runner away from my deadbeat.

10:54

There's absolutely no question about it First

10:57

of all drive so nice the minivan Nobody

11:00

will be able to fix the minivan. They have

11:03

them over there. No, they don't but

11:05

it's got a hundred thousand miles on it It's gonna

11:07

need so many things the minute it falls off

11:09

the boat But

11:12

I mean there's no question of the two you've got to take

11:14

the 4runner All right, so you've got to get it away

11:16

from

11:16

him You know the 4runner does not have a wide enough

11:18

license plate holder.

11:20

They don't worry. They'll make you one Oh,

11:22

yeah, they have those big plates in Norway. Don't they

11:24

have the real wide? Yeah, they got 28 digits. Yeah,

11:27

they only have seven cars in the whole country They

11:30

got 28 digit lights, so it's impossible for police

11:32

to catch the do you get the license number? Well,

11:35

I got 13 of the digits. I don't get the

11:37

other eight Anyway,

11:41

Teresa is that the essence of your question?

11:43

Yes, it was do we help at all? So when are you going

11:46

this

11:46

August

11:47

August and you're gonna start right in in the fall

11:50

semester? That's right, Norwegian Institute

11:52

of Technology NIT I'm

11:55

no we just school of management school of management

11:57

and also teaching accounting tools

11:59

all those are norwegians who want to know about

12:02

that but for the window credits for the wall

12:04

it's more interesting than that and it

12:05

was held uh...

12:12

wonderful time in uh... in uh... and what

12:14

north norrish norga

12:16

north north yeah north north yeah

12:21

but yeah have a wonderful

12:23

time to reset and good luck getting the forerunner

12:26

from that debbie ex-wife thank

12:28

you need any help doing that by the way the

12:30

law offices of the week you know our variable

12:33

okay we have a lot of experience this

12:35

kind of a case thank you very much a yes

12:38

by by by by by it

12:40

was a more call from the puzzler into coming

12:42

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15:00

Okay, we're going to try the word association

15:02

thing again. Okay, you're going to like this.

15:04

Yeah. You ready? Alright. Henry.

15:08

The eighth. Jesus. Holting.

15:11

Holting. Hotel accommodations. Rooms.

15:14

Silsweed. Alright, you just get one guess.

15:17

Silver. Toronto.

15:21

The Lone Ranger. Jet.

15:25

Block. Ezra. Pound.

15:28

What else could you say, right? I could have said... Swartz.

15:31

Ezra Swartz. Swartz. Yeah.

15:33

Did I get any right? Okay,

15:35

here's the answers I was hoping you would give. Yeah. Henry.

15:39

Ford.

15:40

Hotel

15:42

accommodations.

15:43

Deluxe.

15:45

Silver.

15:47

Taller.

15:48

Jet. Fuel.

15:53

You expected me to... No, I frankly

15:55

didn't expect it. And did those have

15:57

something to do with the puzzler?

15:59

Of course. Ford, deluxe,

16:02

jet fuel, has something to do with

16:05

the puzzler? Well, no, all those key words.

16:07

Ford deluxe, yeah, dollar, fuel, pound,

16:09

you'll see. I have no recollection.

16:11

I can honestly say I have no

16:13

recollection whatsoever. Okay, here it is in

16:16

all its beautiful- Alright, I'll let you know when I get

16:18

it. In all its beautiful brevity. I'll

16:20

let you know when I get it. Imagine this conversation

16:22

took place some years ago. Here's what you may have heard.

16:25

Boy, it was a great machine and the Ford

16:27

dealer sold me the deluxe, uh-uh, deluxe

16:30

one, deluxe. Oh, yeah. Model for only one

16:32

dollar more. Yeah. And

16:34

later in the conversation here, so I would go

16:36

back to the Ford, Ford, dealership,

16:39

where I would buy the fuel for

16:41

only five cents a pound.

16:44

Yeah. Gee, I remember- I'll read

16:46

it again because I don't think- Read it again without the stress. I

16:49

wasn't stressed. The general- I actually

16:52

did my yoga before the show. Boy,

16:54

it was a great machine and the Ford dealer

16:56

sold me the deluxe model for only one dollar

16:59

more. Yeah. And then later in the conversation

17:01

you might have heard. So then I would go

17:04

back to the Ford dealership, where I would buy

17:06

the fuel for only five cents a pound.

17:09

What were they talking about? I remember

17:11

this now and I remember I had no idea except

17:13

I remember making the comment, I'll bet it wasn't a Ford

17:16

car. Wasn't and I give

17:18

a hint. You wouldn't get this at your Chevrolet dealer

17:20

or your Buick dealer. Yeah. You

17:22

astutely guessed at that even then in your

17:25

stupor. In my stupor, it was- In

17:27

your Ford, post puzzler, mid puzzler stupor.

17:30

Yeah. That it wasn't about a car. That's

17:32

right. I still don't know what it was. Well,

17:36

as we know very well, Henry Ford

17:38

was a cheapskate. Okay. Known

17:40

for that. Yes. Yes. Old skin

17:42

flint, I think they called them. Yeah. Anyway,

17:44

he had a lumber operation where they used to make

17:47

wood panels for the station wagons, the

17:49

woodies.

17:50

Yeah. Okay. Now,

17:51

being the cheapskate that he was, he hated to see scrap

17:53

wood go to waste.

17:55

So he would take the leftovers and he had

17:57

them made into charcoal briquettes.

18:00

I remember that too, I knew that. You

18:02

did know that? I did know that. Okay, so

18:05

that there would be customers for the briquettes, he

18:07

had grills made up, and

18:09

forced the Ford dealers to sell them. Gas grills?

18:12

Not gas, but I almost said gas grills, but I caught

18:14

myself at the last minute. He had grills made

18:16

up, charcoal briquette grills. Ah,

18:19

and this person had bought the deluxe grill. And it was $2

18:22

for the cheap old grill and $3 for the deluxe. For the deluxe

18:25

one, which must have had the rotating spit.

18:27

Yeah. Okay, and it lasted until like the mid-40s

18:31

when the plant closed down. And they went back

18:33

and bought the fuel, which was these briquettes

18:35

for five cents a pound. That's

18:37

right, and now, just a little bit of historic...

18:40

That's historic and good. Yes, and

18:43

the manager of that

18:45

plant, who later went on to briquette fame,

18:47

was

18:48

a fellow named, I believe, his name was Kingsford.

18:51

Kingsford! The Kingsford Edge! Do

18:53

we have a winner? Yeah, we got a

18:55

winner, we got a winner. It's

18:58

Margaret Morris from Casper, Wyoming,

19:00

who knew the answer this week. And

19:02

for having her correct answer chosen at random,

19:05

from among all of the right answers that

19:07

we received, Margaret gets not only

19:09

a Car Talk travel mug, but also...

19:14

Ah, get ready for this. A cassette

19:16

copy of this very show, the

19:18

show on which we announced her

19:21

name. You, Margaret Morris, from

19:23

Casper, Wyoming, have won the puzzler,

19:25

and you won this lousy cassette too, and if for

19:27

some strange reason someone else might want a

19:29

copy of this show, stay tuned because we'll

19:32

give you the number to call at halftime.

19:34

Now coming up in the second half,

19:37

after the halftime show today, we

19:39

have a new puzzler inspired by none other

19:42

than

19:43

Douglas Punk and Lips Berman. No

19:45

kidding? Yeah, well, through his ingenuity...

19:48

But everything is puzzling to him. Well,

19:50

but this actually happened to him, and through his

19:52

ingenuity... He came up with a puzzler? No,

19:55

he created a puzzler. Inspired it. Inspired!

19:58

No, he created it!

19:59

He created it!

19:59

there's no created it yeah so the puzzle

20:02

was not simply inspired by douglas cool

20:04

vermin berman such vermin set us

20:06

up there was actually the front yard

20:08

dog was cube roman berman it's

20:12

like the goddess with a question or anything else

20:14

yeah our numbers one eight hundred three three to nine

20:17

to eight seven hello you're a guard dog

20:18

this is where

20:20

i live on that boat hello road and

20:22

marking county indiana goggles

20:24

hollow go

20:26

carlo rally

20:28

in were morton county indiana

20:31

says even as a the raiders city

20:33

a town near misses account the whole county

20:36

indiana

20:36

between ohio and elena we know

20:38

we're in such a success okay

20:42

routes when i would you mind

20:44

i had kind of hesitant eric

20:46

read it as specific class and okay

20:48

and we had an old

20:50

classic

20:52

that my daughter uses like she's home from school

20:54

and we needed to campus during christmas

20:56

break

20:57

you know sound old enough to have a daughter

20:59

ah yeah was going to get some some of your voice

21:01

was a teenager was sixteen years old

21:03

i

21:03

have a little squeaky voice words

21:05

to israeli out really

21:09

well not that old i've noticed i mean not as

21:11

old as my brother nonsense insisted

21:13

no one is also space and

21:15

only what you got this old car yes

21:18

and we're trying to jump the car

21:20

and i have this at that the powder

21:22

puff adder mechanics as many years

21:24

ago and they gave me this far back as

21:27

our i do things size of that and

21:29

my husband does not to stick buy the book

21:31

and he does not like the way the book says

21:34

to just the car yeah and

21:36

i can i play with the books that sure

21:39

sure i will have caused such as a he's wrong you

21:41

going to read rights in the books on

21:42

jerry rice in the back on

21:43

it is it's it's almost always the case

21:45

in situations like this and i hit the make

21:48

these broad generalizations

21:50

yeah sweeping i think they call sweeping generalizations

21:53

point of us anything about the has wait a minute

21:55

is almost always room for take going

21:57

to say something about police departments or law

22:00

years old or you want to talk so

22:03

we're gonna predict that thought that your husband is wrong

22:05

and that the book is right but what does the book say the

22:08

book says connect the first

22:10

cable to the positive terminal

22:12

on the discharge battery and

22:14

to the positive red terminal on the good battery

22:17

next attach the second cable to the negative

22:19

terminal on the good battery then connect

22:22

the other end of the second cable to a solid stationary

22:24

metallic object on the engine of

22:26

the discharge battery

22:28

that is the classic recommendation

22:30

for jumping a dead car

22:33

it is absolutely correct it

22:35

is and what does your husband say well

22:37

he says that he wants to connect

22:39

the the

22:40

positive cable last so

22:43

that the juice like it's not in the cable

22:45

while you're working with it

22:47

so the juice is not in

22:49

the cable yeah oh

22:52

oh I see so when you when you connect the negative

22:54

cables first there's

22:58

no juice because the positive all the truth

23:01

the way it works is these little

23:03

electrons they're in in the batteries right

23:06

well in one of the batteries any one of the batteries and

23:08

the other electrons in in the dead

23:10

battery are all asleep but the electrons

23:12

in the positive battery will not go

23:15

any place until that whole

23:17

circuit is complete so until

23:20

all four connections are made

23:22

absolutely nothing happens no but I

23:24

understand her husband's rationale and

23:26

and and it's

23:27

what he's trying to do is prevent the

23:30

positive terminal from accidentally

23:32

being shorted out against something and

23:34

for example if you were to disconnect the battery you

23:36

know how it's held on with with with

23:39

battery terminals there are battery

23:41

terminals on each on each terminal on each

23:44

terminal of the battery connectors in each terminal the battery

23:46

you always click the disconnect the negative one

23:49

first okay and the reason

23:51

you do that is the negative one goes to ground the

23:53

positive one goes to feed everything if you're

23:55

inadvertently in trying to disconnect the positive

23:57

one first touch the wrench to that and

23:59

to

27:42

California.

28:00

Now you get this. Dear

28:03

car guys, I need help from esteemed professionals

28:05

with your honorable credentials and vast experience

28:08

to confirm a very basic principle of

28:10

automobile ownership, a principle of which I

28:13

have been aware for years, but I'm

28:15

unable to substantiate without your help.

28:17

Now even though this letter is signed by Tricia and Bill,

28:20

it's clear that Tricia wrote it.

28:22

My husband and I have two vehicles.

28:24

One

28:27

is a 79 Volkswagen van

28:30

bought for the express purposes of hauling around

28:32

our two German Shepherd dogs and

28:34

my husband's surfboards. So they'd feel right at

28:36

home in a German vehicle I guess. Exactly. The

28:39

second is a brand new Mazda

28:41

Miata bought for the express purpose

28:43

of having a cute car in which to scoot around.

28:46

Since we have a very egalitarian relationship,

28:49

my husband can't understand my reasoning that

28:51

I should be the one to drive the Miata and he should

28:53

be the one to drive the van whenever we're

28:55

not together. Together with

28:58

the dogs, we take the van. Together without

29:00

the dogs, we take the Miata. But when we're

29:02

alone, what do we drive? My

29:05

reasoning for those very logical

29:07

conclusion is this. When my husband

29:09

drives the van, he's got his surfboard

29:12

on top, don't forget they're from California,

29:14

and two adorable dogs riding

29:16

with him. This therefore makes

29:18

him look adorable. A cute

29:20

surfer cruising down Highway 101, taking his dogs

29:24

to the beach. The girl

29:26

dog can even fit her head out the wing window

29:28

which is in which increases the adorability

29:31

factor even more. Oh yeah, those Baywatch babes

29:34

are gonna be all over him. They are. On

29:36

the other hand, when I drive the van, I'm in

29:39

a business suit and they look like a

29:41

poor 30-something woman who

29:43

looks like she's hanging on to the last vestiges

29:45

of hippiedom or is too poor to

29:48

afford a cute car. Oh worse than that, you must

29:50

look real bad when you get out with all those dog hairs

29:52

all over your suit. Clearly this latter

29:54

scenario is in direct violation of one of the main

29:57

principles of proper automobile ownership.

30:00

premise that owning and driving one's car should

30:02

make him feel good about himself and

30:04

that one should make every attempt to look

30:06

as cool as possible when being seen

30:09

in the vehicle. Yeah?

30:12

Since I can't remember where I learned

30:14

this principle, I, for instance, I

30:16

couldn't find it in either of the owner's manuals, I

30:19

told him I would ask you guys to confirm it for

30:21

me. I'm certain your library has the book in

30:23

which it was originally written. He agreed that

30:25

if you both could confirm my

30:27

statements, he would never again doubt

30:30

my intention. Your assistance will be greatly

30:32

appreciated. And by the way, the Miata

30:35

is bright red and the van is tan.

30:37

Ooh.

30:39

Thank you guys. We'll be hanging out waiting

30:41

for your response. P.S. Melissa

30:43

Peterson doesn't know good radio from a hole

30:45

in her muffler.

30:47

Well. Now,

30:51

is that good? Come

30:53

on. She's right. She's absolutely

30:56

right

30:56

because there's no way she can look cool

30:59

in the van. Women don't look

31:01

cool in van. You just put a woman. You could take –

31:04

who's the sexiest woman alive? Virginia

31:07

Pippalini. You

31:10

could take Virginia Pippalini and put

31:12

her in a van and she would look like a

31:15

dowdy housewife with kids. Not

31:17

Virginia Pippalini. Absolutely.

31:20

Whereas the guy, she's right. He looks

31:23

cool. He's got the cute dogs. I –

31:26

I – well, I vote for you, Trish. I mean,

31:28

we can do a survey. Well, he's gonna look cute in the Miata.

31:30

He's gonna look – she's done for. Yeah, but he's gonna

31:32

look cute in the Miata too. I mean, everyone looks cute in the

31:34

Miata. Well, I

31:37

think she needs a boyfriend. If you want to vote for Trish or –

31:39

what's his name?

31:40

Or Bill.

31:42

Just send us a card that says Trish is right

31:44

or Bill is right. I want to know. Call her 900 number. Call

31:46

her 900 number. Do we have one? One 900, Bill. Bill.

31:51

I thought that was a classic dilemma. It is a classic

31:53

dilemma. We sort of have that problem

31:56

at my house. My wife always wants to drive my

31:58

car because she looks cool. cool

32:00

in a 63 Dodge not even though

32:02

she can't steer it but

32:05

going straight ahead she's good all

32:07

right you're gonna puzzler I do is

32:09

it interesting is it folkloric no

32:11

challenging no no

32:14

all right oh this is Doug's Doug

32:16

is what Dougie did yeah we

32:18

had a snowstorm a few weeks ago yeah

32:20

and and and Dougie decided

32:22

his car was parked in the street he decided to get

32:24

it off the street so the plows wouldn't come and smash

32:26

it on like they did the last time we had a snowstorm

32:29

so he he shoveled a spot in

32:31

his driveway okay

32:32

this

32:33

if he so he's got the spot that's just barely big

32:36

enough for his car and it's snowing

32:39

but it's pretty much stopped and he figures me shovels

32:41

this spot he'll be all set in the morning he could just blast

32:43

right out

32:44

right he

32:45

black last got it I got it so

32:48

he does this he he backs into this spot

32:50

that he shoveled out and he shuts

32:52

the engine down and he goes in for the night

32:54

and has his hot cocoa and puts on his slippers and

32:56

whatever with the belief that

32:58

everything is gonna be perfect tomorrow morning he comes out

33:01

sure enough his car is sitting right there and he

33:04

gets in he turns the key and it goes and

33:11

he keeps doing this because it doesn't know any better it cranks

33:13

and cranks and cranks and cranks okay

33:15

and he finally gives up when it starts going

33:18

back in the house and it doesn't go to work that's back in the house

33:21

if you stay there till spring has the car towed

33:23

to his friendly mechanic let me guess

33:27

so that's right up no oh

33:29

it doesn't oh good they

33:32

try to start it with it as they after they

33:34

drop it off the top off literally yeah boom

33:38

they try to start it doesn't start they push

33:40

it in they don't know what's wrong with it a few hours

33:42

later because they hadn't got a chance to get around

33:44

to it right away and coffee you're having coffee

33:47

right let me guess a few hours later starts

33:49

right up no doesn't start not this

33:51

week I'm sorry to keep interrupting

33:53

a few hours

33:59

later it's starts right up. And they can find

34:01

nothing wrong with it. I'm

34:03

kidding. And in fact, there

34:05

was nothing quote, wrong

34:07

with it, but there was something wrong with what

34:09

he did. Yeah.

34:11

That night.

34:14

Okay,

34:17

that's good. That's a good one. Challenging,

34:20

folkloric, interesting.

34:21

Epidemic. Yeah,

34:24

all of those. Yeah, I mean, I

34:27

was coerced. I didn't really want to use it. No, I think

34:29

it was fine. I think he says, you're going to use my puzzler?

34:31

All right, we'll use his puzzler. Please, maybe we'll use my puzzler. Sure,

34:34

we'll use his stinking puzzler. He probably

34:36

just wants to get a t-shirt. He does. But

34:39

he forgot. Now, if you think you

34:41

know the answer, write it on the back of anything you want.

34:43

No organic matter of-

34:46

No fruit. Well, organic covers it, right?

34:48

Everything, yeah. Right.

34:49

No organic matter of any kind.

34:52

We haven't had a salami yet. Oh, why did I say

34:54

that? Send

34:58

your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car

35:00

Talk Plaza, Post Office Box 3500 Harvard

35:02

Square, Cambridge-

35:06

Our fair city. Massachusetts 02238.

35:09

And if your answer is correct, then we choose it at random

35:11

as this week's winner. You could win not only a

35:14

cheap plastic Car Talk travel mug, but

35:16

also a cheap plastic cassette copy

35:18

of the show on which you are chosen as

35:20

the winner. Wow. Well, that will be a memento

35:22

to lose. Oh, world place. I imagine though, when the mail

35:24

comes- Well, you know, when people

35:27

lose theirs, we can charge them like $50 for

35:29

a replacement copy. That's

35:31

right. If you'd like to call

35:34

us, the number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car

35:36

Talk. Hello. Hi, who's this? This

35:38

is Norm from Jackson, Wyoming. Hi, Norm.

35:40

Yeah.

35:42

From where? Jackson, Wyoming. Jackson Hole. Jackson.

35:45

Oh, Jackson. Wyoming. Yes,

35:47

it is. It's actually called Jackson, right? Yeah,

35:50

beautiful place to live. Oh, it's gorgeous. Yeah,

35:53

in the summer. I've never been there in the winter. Both.

35:56

What, snow, huh? A lot. Yeah,

35:58

good.

36:00

What's up, Norm?

36:01

Well, I have a problem with my car. I have an old

36:04

1980s Sentra, and it's got

36:06

a very interesting problem. But

36:08

I can't seem to solve if,

36:11

during the cold start process, you know,

36:13

it's idling at, say, 2000 RPM

36:15

and stuff, if I take it out of gear, you

36:17

know, I'm just sitting still, not going anywhere,

36:19

putting a clutch, take it out of gear. The island

36:21

is down. The rev is like 6000 RPM. Right. It's

36:24

dead. If I put it back in gear, it

36:26

goes back down to whatever's

36:27

proper, 2000, 1800. It

36:30

goes to 6000 RPM? Is that

36:32

what you said? It just goes off, like at 166. Maybe not at 6,

36:34

but it probably goes to 4. Something like that.

36:36

4 sounds like it's ready to become airborne.

36:39

Yeah. There is a switch, I believe, on

36:42

the shifter in that car,

36:44

which in fact does exactly that. And what it

36:46

does is it controls a little solenoid on

36:48

the, or a little vacuum-operated

36:51

valve on the carburetor, which

36:53

actually boosts the idle.

36:55

And why they make it do this, I've never

36:57

been able to figure it out, but it had to do with something with

36:59

pollution or whatever, or a problem stalling.

37:01

But that thing is adjustable. I

37:03

see. Huh? I

37:06

see. You see? Sure. You

37:09

need to figure out what it is. You could actually do it yourself if you take

37:11

off the air cleaner and have a friend sit

37:13

in the car and do exactly what you do, put it in

37:15

gear, and then take it out of gear, you

37:17

will see the throttle actually opening

37:19

up. Right. It's just like someone stepping on the gas

37:21

pedal. Okay. And you may even figure out which

37:23

screw to turn, because there are about nine of them there.

37:26

And try all of them. That's

37:28

the way we figured it out. We don't know. But

37:30

just keep turning those screws until something

37:32

happens. And then the next day, when the engine is

37:34

cold again, you'll see if you turn the screw the right way.

37:37

Right. But that's what it is. And

37:39

obviously, over the years, something has gone haywire. Maybe

37:41

someone else turns a screw trying to rectify

37:43

some other problem and turn the screw up and never realize

37:45

it. In fact, he did it. I see.

37:48

Until the next day when you started it up and it was going

37:50

whaaaat.

37:52

But you could probably disarm this whole

37:54

thing by finding that little switch and unplugging it. But I never bought

37:56

it to look. I always did the adjustment

37:58

at the carburetor. But it's easy.

37:59

I see. It's easy. That's

38:02

it? That was it. Oh,

38:05

good luck. Nice

38:08

to talk to you, Norm. Thank you. Alrighty, bye

38:10

bye. Well, you've wasted another perfectly

38:12

good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer

38:15

and puzzle editor this week is Doug Punk and

38:17

Lips Berman. Berman. Berman. Our

38:19

associate producer and Dean of the College

38:21

of Automusicology is Ken Babyface. Rogers,

38:24

our engineer and assistant producer, is Jennifer

38:26

Jiffy Loeb. Our chief bottle washer

38:28

is Ken Okano. Our technical advisor

38:30

is John Bugsy, Sebastian, Mr. Heights, Sweet Cheeks. Free

38:34

lunch, trickle-toes, hula-hips, donut breath, make

38:36

that two triple cheeseburgers, Lawler. Our

38:39

public opinion poser is Paul Murky of Murky Research.

38:41

Our automotive medical researcher is Dr. Denton Fender.

38:44

Our fleet manager is Oscar de la Rental. Our director

38:47

of computer services is Dot Matrix. Director

38:50

of congressional funding is Fred Knott. Our

38:53

literary critics are Ernest and Julia Hemingway. Our

38:56

art critic is Philistine. Our trial

38:58

development expert is Dr. Benjamin Spark.

39:00

Our emissions tester is Justin Hale IV.

39:03

Just neither third, but the thing was nasty.

39:05

They're

39:07

going fast. They're up to four. It's all even

39:09

a life. It's all even a life. It's one

39:11

a week. Our

39:13

confirmed corporate surgeon general is C. Everett

39:15

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39:18

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39:20

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39:22

expert is C. V. Butros, Butros Galley.

39:24

Our congressional lobbyists are Orrin Hatchback,

39:26

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chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheetahman Hall

39:33

is Yule Lewis Dewey, known to the

39:35

ABA as Yule-Luey Dewey. I don't

39:37

know. We're clicking

39:38

black with Tappan

39:40

from the station listening and

39:42

don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother.

39:45

We'll be back next week. Bye-bye.

40:28

and

40:30

WVUR in Boston. And even though NPR's

40:33

congressional supporters deny it while we're on,

40:35

this is NPR National Public Radio.

40:38

Support for NPR and the following message

40:40

come from State Farm. As a State Farm

40:42

agent and agency owner, Lakesha Gaines

40:45

understands the support small businesses

40:47

need.

40:48

Knowing that no business is the same,

40:50

knowing that we're all impacted by things

40:52

that are beyond our control like catastrophes,

40:55

and hearing and listening and understanding what's

40:57

important to a business owner, understanding

40:59

how much is truly affordable and what makes

41:01

sense at that moment. Because a three-year

41:04

psychiatrist is going to be very

41:06

different

41:06

than a 20-year doctor. And a two-year

41:09

sign owner is going to be very different

41:11

than a one-month restaurant owner

41:13

who's just trying to figure out what's going

41:15

to be on the menu next month. Those are the things

41:17

that I think are extremely important that

41:19

come to my experience as a small business

41:21

owner. It's me figuring out how to

41:23

help the people that I live with, how to help

41:26

the people that I work with, how to help the people

41:28

that I volunteer with.

41:29

Talk to your local agent about small

41:31

business insurance from State Farm. Like

41:34

a good neighbor, State Farm is

41:35

there.