This week, Dick doubles down on an urban legend about euthanized pets in dog food, to the tune of 200 tons per month--all without a single shred of evidence. It's a Christmas miracle! We also discuss the difficulties that apparently only I have in buying Christmas gifts for women.

Then Dick predictably defends Sony for yielding to terrorists. Hint: it's Obama's fault for not installing anti-virus software. And finally, I point out the obnoxiousness of the phenomenon of "ugly Christmas sweater parties." It's a trendy, insincere, one-note joke that uncreative douchebags have glommed onto. So much so that the second result on Google is from people searching for "ugly Christmas sweater ideas." What ideas are there to be had? It's the same assembly of smug, ironic losers standing around swishing their red Solo cups, winking and nodding in self-satisfaction during their unintentionally ironic self-parodying party.

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