“You just tell ‘em how the cows eat the cabbage and you’ll be just fine.”

I don’t understand why HIGH TENSION continues to get so much flack. If ever there was a horror movie that made zero sense, it’s this pile of…whatever this is.

This week on The Blind Rage Podcast, it’s TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION a.k.a. THE RETURN OF THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, notorious for casting then unknowns Renée Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey

Despite heaps of completely incoherent dialogue, this installment begins similarly to other films in the franchise. We’re introduced to our ensemble of main characters (this time, it’s a group of high school kids on prom night). Of course, they have a wreck and find themselves stranded in the middle of Texan woodland. During their seemingly endless quest for help, they come face-to-face with various members of a new inbred family, which, interestingly enough, don’t appear to be cannibals.

As the film progresses, the subplot concerning members of an underground society similar to the illuminati, whose objective is to capture random people and terrify them to the point of reaching a spiritual and transcendent experience., is introduced I suppose writer/director Kim Henkel ceased to realize that such a concept could traumatize someone to the point of sheer madness, i.e. Sally at the end of the original.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Henkel cranked the script out during an acid trip, because I doubt anyone other than he could possibly understand his true intentions. That doesn’t mean Tony and I aren’t going to give it a try. Join us as we fight to make sense of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW BIZARRO WORLD.

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