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details. It's

0:45

the Bob and Tom Show! Fish

0:55

and worms, fish and worms, everybody's

0:57

wishing they had fish and worms. Find

1:00

them in the garden, turn over a rock,

1:02

slip them in your sandwich, put them in

1:04

your sock, that's fish and worms, fish

1:07

and worms.

1:10

Well my big sister, she don't

1:12

like my fish and worms. Big

1:16

ones, little ones, they scare her

1:18

to death. She

1:21

was making chocolate shake, I dropped a couple

1:24

in the blender. Now

1:27

she's sitting around with faded

1:29

breath. From eating fish and

1:32

worms, fish and worms, everybody's

1:35

wishing they had fish and worms. Do

1:37

your English homework, underline a word,

1:39

circle direct object, intransitive verb with

1:41

a fish and worm. Wrap them

1:44

round the

1:49

corkscrew, twist them in some twine, take them

1:51

to the health spa so they can unwind.

2:00

doing everything you could think of with a fish

2:02

and worm. Oh

2:04

shit. Because

2:06

you want that wiggling squish. There's

2:11

only one thing I like doing with

2:13

fish and worm. And

2:16

that is, of course, to

2:19

catch fish. I

2:21

hate them fish and worms. Fish and

2:23

worms. Everybody's wishing they had fish

2:25

and worms. Send them

2:27

in the backyard, underneath some leaves, make

2:29

them little dresses. Just move off the

2:31

sleeves. There's more. There's

2:36

more. There's more. Move

2:43

off the sleeves. This is

2:45

made laughing like a little maniac. What

2:48

the fuck? Hello, Lucy. Good

2:50

morning. Ladies. It's

2:54

the Bob and Top Show. Christy

2:56

Lee at the News Desk. Hello.

3:00

I got one under the weather. And

3:02

it's been a while. Yeah,

3:04

dad. Yeah, we

3:06

were on a stage. Under the weather

3:09

or new lottery winner? No,

3:12

don't help me. I loaded up on

3:14

tickets. Did we have a winner?

3:16

I don't know. Powerball, did they draw last night? They

3:18

did not have a winner last night. One of them

3:20

did. Powerball did not. Wow. Hello,

3:22

Ace. Hey. That's Josh

3:24

Arnold. I was hoping good things were fast. I know. I'm

3:27

Chick. Here's Tom. That'd be

3:29

interesting if he won the lottery. Oh, he'd be dead in two days.

3:32

Oh, yeah. I'd give him 35 days. 35

3:36

days. And broke. Yeah.

3:38

That's the thing, Christy. He would be so dramatic.

3:40

Yeah, he'd be one of those things you see

3:42

on TV. He won

3:44

the lottery. He invested in a

3:47

restaurant. His friends ate for free

3:49

in $3 million in six months. Yeah.

3:53

God bless them. Oh, well. I think it's

3:55

up to $865 million. It's time

3:57

for old man talk. Don't

4:01

you remember when you started working, Tom? I made

4:03

$195 a week was my first radio job. $95

4:09

a week and I got raised second week to $125. For

4:11

me. Oh, that's great. We were

4:13

getting paid hourly until they realized we could

4:15

work a 70 hour week for their salary

4:18

and make even less than $3 an hour.

4:22

I told you that crazy story. I worked for that

4:24

woman somewhere in Ohio that I can't say anymore. She

4:27

kept track. She

4:30

paid people for 40 hours and if you

4:32

didn't work 40 hours, she kept track of

4:34

how many hours you owed her. Oh.

4:38

And I left over, I don't know, 70 hours? You

4:42

and I had the exact same experience. We

4:44

would get paid Josh on Fridays. And

4:48

Johnny, our boss, I won't say his last

4:51

name, although his name is a famous beer

4:53

and it's not Budweiser. Johnny

4:55

Paps. Johnny was living the high life.

4:58

He would bring the checks in and then it was

5:00

if you were on the air, you

5:02

were screwed because you couldn't run to the bank to

5:04

cash it. So then it would. Bounce.

5:07

It wouldn't. Yeah. So

5:09

that was fun. But alas, those

5:12

were good days. I

5:14

remember I used to eat a lot of, there was

5:16

a local chicken place. Not

5:19

one of the major franchises. Let's

5:22

just say it was called Happy

5:25

Dicks. Happy

5:27

Dicks Chicken. Well, Pappy Dick was

5:30

the famous Sunday morning cartoon. Cappy

5:32

Dick. Oh, Cappy Dick. So sorry.

5:34

It was Pappy Dick's Chicken. I

5:37

like Pappy Dick Chicken. We had these half

5:39

off coupons that we

5:41

were supposed to be giving away in the air and after

5:43

a while folks at Pappy Dick's realized,

5:45

wait a second, these guys are

5:47

coming in constantly eating her chicken. And

5:49

by the way, that was something. That chicken was

5:51

delicious. I bet it was. Is it fried chicken?

5:53

Yeah, it was great. It was great. There's something

5:55

about fried chicken. It's pretty hard to ruin it.

5:58

That's true. I

6:00

don't know. Is there something like when I

6:03

was poor real poor with a budding

6:05

ham all the time? You know that like

6:07

buddy. Oh, no car. But it yeah, but

6:09

it like was like 49

6:12

cents and of them or something my mom would

6:14

never let us have a full put like we can

6:16

only put one or two slices Paper

6:24

on toast and I was white bread and

6:26

eat that underwood tuna salad and

6:28

chicken salad man Oh and

6:30

little cans can't have paper around. Yeah, they

6:32

wrapped him in paper for some reason. Yeah

6:36

Yeah, I remember that Hammond you could hold it up to

6:38

the light and yep yellow. Yeah Translucent.

6:40

Uh-huh. The only thing thinner apparently is

6:43

the toilet paper at the airport You

6:46

see They

6:48

have a nail clipper so you can

6:50

get it get the poop from under

6:53

your nails Oh, I don't have that ham.

6:55

I see it every once in a while and remember they

6:57

have a corn beef is our favorite the

7:00

Carl Buddig corn be Orderve

7:05

presentation for some sort of a coup

7:07

d'etat board. What do they call those?

7:12

Boards where you keep score about the dictators

7:14

you've thrown out You

7:16

chop up that meat you put it

7:19

in cream cheese. Oh, yeah You're scally

7:21

yeah, oh awful you hate you hate

7:23

cheese balls I also hate

7:25

you're not an American. I also hate cream chip

7:28

beef on toast. Yeah, that's all right

7:30

Oh, that tasted like vomit. I had a

7:32

beef, Manhattan a couple weeks ago. That's different.

7:34

That is bigger than my head Oh my

7:36

gosh amazing. All right, potatoes and gravy. How

7:39

do you feel about charcuterie boards? My girlfriend

7:41

calls them coochie boards If

7:43

your girlfriend knows a coochie is a slang term

7:46

for the Next time

7:48

your girlfriend has a coochie board you call From

7:56

Petulian Coochie,

7:58

but I think the charcuterie board I

8:02

lately I've been to several events and people they get them

8:04

from nice fancy play. I It

8:09

seems to me there are certain certain components

8:11

of those that nobody touches well, and I

8:13

made one over the weekend That's why I asked

8:15

and the cheese that I bought cuz I'm lazy

8:18

There were four different Colors

8:20

of their four white cheeses in there and

8:22

I couldn't tell people know what is that?

8:25

It's you know, there was a Gouda and

8:27

there was a nasiago And there's

8:30

no way to really drive a nice yugway the

8:32

four door knows a hell of a there's no way

8:34

to really mark them Very well, I've seen people like

8:36

in all of and then a toothpick with a little

8:38

like with a little flag on it And they write

8:40

on the little fly Three

8:47

quarters of them will get untouched. Yeah, because

8:50

which one tastes like ranch dressing. Okay, I'll

8:52

have that One

8:54

of the people in Shark Tank didn't they present? a

8:58

Mass production of church charcuterie boards.

9:00

Yeah, they're doing real well. Yeah,

9:02

I've ordered them. They're great gift

9:04

They ship them right to your house. Yep. It's already

9:07

made charcuterie. They are premium Joshua

9:10

agree with me. There's a fancy place and

9:12

been to for a couple years. They have

9:15

a like a mini Cheese

9:17

thing you can get as an appetizer. It's got four

9:19

or five cheeses on it And of

9:21

course the it's always incredibly pretentious. No one's ever heard

9:23

of them on the waiter Looks

9:25

down his nose. Well, and one of them

9:27

literally smells like puppy poop Completely

9:31

it's completely inedible. No, it was up.

9:33

No You could not eat it

9:35

Well, and then there's the etiquette of eating off

9:37

of a charcuterie board because you got all

9:39

these people eating off one board this just

9:42

happened over the weekend and You

9:44

know, do you put your knife into the I

9:47

don't know. It's just I'm very

9:49

intimidated by it Might

9:51

be a double dip problem. I tell you take the board pick

9:54

it up. Walk over to a table Get

9:56

a knife and fork Back

10:00

off losers. Aren't you

10:03

glad you invited me? Get

10:05

out of the way, I can't see you TV. We

10:07

missed something. What did we miss? We always do. Usually

10:09

Ace will come in and go, hey, you know, yesterday

10:11

was free pizza day or something. What

10:13

was yesterday? Saturday,

10:16

I just saw this out, was National

10:19

Puppy Day. Did

10:21

you get a puppy? That's what you

10:23

need. Maybe your girls could have an, oh,

10:26

they can't hear me, damn it. Right now I have

10:28

three dogs. Your dog, Gus? I was

10:30

out in the rain. I thought you only had two. I'm

10:33

babysitting for six months, a

10:35

gigantic sweet dog, but I

10:37

have three giant white dogs, so I'm always

10:39

covered in dog. Anyway, National Puppy Day was

10:41

Saturday. Oh. By the

10:43

way, this is National Carpet Cleaning Week,

10:45

coincidentally, if you

10:47

have a new puppy. I don't think

10:50

I have a piece of carpet in my home. I

10:52

would just get ready to say I don't either anymore. I think

10:54

I have a very nice area rug.

10:56

Yes. Mmm. Me,

10:59

too. Do you have the kind

11:01

you can wash? I'm an area rug. Is the

11:03

dog A ruggable? Not. I try. I

11:06

have no wall-to-wall carpeting either. I don't either. None.

11:09

Oh, I'm very carpeted. I'm talking to the people who are

11:11

ruggable, and until they hire me as a spokesman, I'm on

11:13

the set. I wanted that. What's ruggable? Oh,

11:15

they're like this mat that lays

11:17

down and then you put the rug on top

11:19

of it, and you can throw it in the, you just pull

11:22

it up and throw it in the wash. You can actually

11:24

throw the rug into the wash. Yeah, that's nice. Wow, that's a

11:26

very nice product. And you can change

11:28

them out for seasons or every week if you'd

11:30

like. Tell them chicks, aren't you? Yeah. Ruggable.

11:33

Ruggable. Like huggable. Ruggable.

11:37

Or like effable. Never mind. Effable.

11:39

You're not talking about Jack.

11:42

Incredibly effable. I don't know how. Just

11:44

to work well. I don't

11:46

think... Just to work well sometimes. They

11:48

don't need to advertise. They know they got a good

11:50

product. You know how you got from ruggable to... Well,

11:52

as you know, it's close and tiny to look around

11:55

the world, I'll tell you what. She's ruggable. You

11:58

ever had rug burns? I don't think

12:01

I've never done it actually on the floor.

12:05

That would involve movement. Here we go.

12:07

Back to how lazy I am. How did this start?

12:09

I demand to know. Is there somebody you want to

12:11

call lazy? You're an only child. Good God. If

12:15

you have older brothers who like

12:17

to wrestle on carpeting, you had

12:19

rug burns. Well,

12:24

I got mine. Now, if

12:26

you go to Chick's house, there

12:29

is no carpeting. No wall-to-wall carpeting. Yes,

12:31

and if you go to my house, you'll see me, a

12:34

massive flesh and tears

12:36

clinics and a fear

12:39

of sadness. A lot of sadness

12:41

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14:13

Down with this button Do! Oh. Oh

14:16

well. It's not that I am not sure

14:18

exactly what was this one or what are.

14:23

You an extra. Maybe

14:26

never the best versus. The

14:29

show as if that's for sure are coming

14:31

up. We have on the Titanic doors in

14:34

the news. And

14:36

I tell you what sports car

14:38

loves is so hard and ways.

14:42

Such an effort. We have a marathon.

14:44

The started by a guy lighting a

14:46

cigarette or rather than I should take

14:48

up smoking over the last every high.

14:50

So now you need a pipe? Yeah

14:52

or oh I see I consider whether

14:54

you're right, I am political Hannah want

14:57

to move my younger sister cigarettes but

14:59

you're right, You're right. I got her.

15:01

Have cited a hook up with A

15:03

to the Center, the Patches mortgage we

15:05

have. Is it me? Hi? That's

15:07

all I have nothing coming up with. Your

15:09

find out what is what is or what

15:11

be by it's in the new is now

15:14

isn't that high level of the noise of

15:16

Move Over Me and will be Ah this

15:18

is the Bob and Tom show. If

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You need Indeed. Welcome

16:23

to Talkville, the ultimate small business rewatch

16:25

podcast. Title transference aired October 27, 2004.

16:29

Director James Marshall, writers Todd Slavkin, Darren

16:31

Swimmer. I really like this episode and

16:33

I'm surprised that you don't like as

16:35

much as you thought you did. I

16:37

actually respect your opinion more than I

16:39

respect my own in general. When you

16:41

say things

16:43

are good and I check them out, they

16:45

are. Jump in now or catch up on

16:48

any of the past seasons of Talkville on

16:50

YouTube or wherever you listen. Welcome

16:56

back. They call it the

16:59

Disarmang giant feet. It's

17:02

the Bob and Tom show. Hello. Hello.

17:05

Here's Tom. Hello, Tom. Thank

17:07

you very much. You're welcome.

17:09

Coming up, we have sex toys in the news.

17:12

Thank you, Tom. Interesting story about

17:14

bullies. Yeah. Really?

17:16

Did you get that in your

17:18

newsletter? Yeah, he does. How to

17:21

man your worst bullies are the

17:23

bullies that don't know they're bullies.

17:25

Bully. Oh, and wait

17:27

till you hear the story. You'll go, yep.

17:33

That should be a category. And now news,

17:35

you'll say, yep. It's I told

17:37

you so new. The one and only time I

17:39

tried to bully a guy. I don't know why

17:42

I did. I was just crabby or something. I

17:44

was a freshman in high school. It turned out

17:46

to be our state's

17:49

runner up and

17:51

Golden clubs competition.

17:54

It was like I was picking on Tyson. That's

17:56

one of the things you never know. You never

17:58

know. Wrong guy. You never know.

18:01

See, that's part of the bully's gift. He

18:05

knows who to bully. Often

18:07

they've been terribly bullied, haven't they? Yes.

18:10

We'll find out. Most often by their parents.

18:13

Coming up in the news, the first possibly abuse

18:15

is taken. Turn to the sports page. Anything going

18:17

on over there? That's a

18:19

great question, Tom. Let's take a look together, shall we?

18:23

Dodger star, Shohei Otani. Show

18:25

them what? It

18:27

doesn't really work. They give up on it. We're

18:30

going to have to back over. He

18:32

had a news conference yesterday. He

18:34

says he never bet on sports and

18:37

interpreter Ipe Mizahara stole money from

18:39

him and told lies. Okay. Otani

18:42

Hill, the news conference at Dodger Stadium, and you

18:44

guys are incredibly lucky. I don't know if you

18:46

know this or not, but I speak fluent Japanese.

18:48

Oh, I do not know that. So I'm going

18:50

to now translate for

18:52

you what... Well, this will

18:55

go well. What Shohei said during

18:58

his news conference. Okay. I've

19:00

been told I should open with

19:02

a joke. How

19:05

is everybody tonight? That's interesting. No,

19:08

no, no. He said, is anybody here from

19:10

out of town? Well,

19:13

this is automatically

19:16

in the dumper. You

19:19

just can't let anybody do anything, can you?

19:21

You're really loud. It's our pretty ear.

19:23

Well, if Ace would leave the button

19:25

bar up in the volume and some

19:27

would hear it, it would be nice.

19:30

Turn it up. Can you turn

19:32

it up? Thank you very much. Now listen to how different

19:34

this will sound. Hey,

19:36

you can hear it now. Like,

19:40

yeah, you're talking over. I

19:47

got a duck under my arm. Anyway.

19:50

Oh, Tani spoke for nearly 12 minutes,

19:52

says he had no idea about anything

19:54

and refers to a document he had

19:56

in front of him and he looked

19:59

just like... to get on with the

20:01

season took no questions i'd never and

20:03

this is a of com almost all speculation

20:05

from all of the reporters yeah the

20:08

fact that this guy was his

20:11

best friend well i don't

20:13

know what i think i don't think he was his

20:15

best friend in like a high school way i

20:17

think it was he happened to

20:19

become his best friend because he was interpreted

20:21

he's been his interpreter since before he started

20:24

playing major league baseball well he

20:26

would need to interpret a very good thing nobody

20:31

good point maybe

20:34

he uh... no

20:36

no about now

20:40

uh... japanese beach impediment uh...

20:43

all no no he's uh... the

20:45

body used to see what i'm saying i mean this guy was his

20:47

body got

20:50

a piece got a feel really betrayed work

20:52

all absolutely this is all got all kinds

20:54

of red flags there's like nine different stories

20:56

we don't know irs is coming in ira

20:59

s is coming in the back and i'm

21:01

a little with the best repair lemme with

21:03

underground betting houses and i don't know this

21:07

is making it possible if you wanted

21:09

to to bet on baseball if anybody

21:11

found out was show a reputable betting

21:13

house probably would contact someone if that

21:15

happened in the big picture for me

21:17

is i don't care this

21:19

money do you want to buy you i

21:21

can imagine the last i can't think of the last time

21:23

i agreed with you but i couldn't agree with you more

21:25

i don't care if he's but i don't care if he's

21:27

been on baseball i don't care i don't care as

21:30

long as he's not you know affecting his out uh... is

21:32

his play of it i don't want to get some games

21:34

right right i don't care if he's been on games i

21:36

don't care i don't know that many do

21:39

i don't yeah i i think that ages

21:42

is and it is in the outrage of major

21:44

league sports these days getting upset about gambling when

21:46

you can walk into the stadium they've got the

21:48

betting parlor right there i

21:50

think they they might want to calm down well

21:53

in peter rose uh... put up on his instagram

21:55

yet if i'd had an interpreter i would be

21:57

in the hall of fame right now and i

21:59

don't know what he meant by that. I've

22:02

heard Pete speak perhaps. I don't know.

22:07

I don't know. He might want to be in a market

22:09

for it. Is that what you're saying?

22:12

So we'll see where

22:14

that goes and updates as they happen. Thank

22:17

you. The NFL is eliminating what they call the hip

22:19

drop tackle. The hip drop.

22:21

NFL team owners yesterday unanimously approved

22:23

a rule that bans players from

22:26

using a swivel technique to

22:28

tackle an opponent. Do you really hear

22:30

the passion again? Do you really

22:32

hear the hip? Do

22:34

you really hear the hip? Do you really

22:36

hear the hip? What is

22:39

this? It's not a good one. The

22:42

hip drop. That's an

22:44

effective tackle though. Oh it'll bring the guy

22:46

down. I was

22:48

surprised at how many players are irate

22:51

over this new rule. They want, what

22:53

are we going to do? They want

22:55

to put the belts and the flags

22:58

on. That's

23:00

what they're supposed to do now. That's

23:02

definitely a big tool taken out of the

23:04

box. However, what are they going to do

23:06

now? They're going to start tackling low. They

23:08

take these bigger guys down. You can't do

23:10

that. They'll

23:13

be replays and then there'll be a penalty. They

23:18

want to vote on changing

23:20

what's reviewable via

23:22

replay. The

23:26

NFL would be better off just embracing the

23:28

true nature of the

23:30

game. You know what?

23:34

People are going to get hurt when we play football. That's

23:36

how it is. We're going to do

23:38

our best, but there will be

23:40

injuries. I don't think they

23:42

should have banned the horse collar tackle.

23:45

Remember this? If

23:47

you can grab his nameplate, you can't

23:49

tackle him that way. That's

23:53

a great way to tackle a guy. Yeah, rip his head

23:55

off. It's so convenient.

24:00

Yeah sometimes jacqueline with a face mask

24:02

their tackled so good they don't get

24:04

up every ah ja rule. they have

24:07

to be pushed around since I have

24:09

to do is reach for a guy's

24:11

face mask notice dropped it was these

24:13

know hey hey they've gone now. I'd

24:17

hazard and off to take this year

24:19

as it is as I would like

24:21

to see. And I'm

24:23

totally serious. In. The Nfl.

24:26

That. Adopt Services Rule. Of

24:28

covering a receiver. So scissors

24:31

Iraq employee tackled. At

24:33

of surprises for an absolute that I have

24:35

a ball how all those are all the

24:37

ball has to be the hands of the

24:39

Qb a man there were no of whatever

24:41

kids the mall wow I never want any

24:43

to get better as as don't get near

24:46

the guy's going to tell you think wide

24:48

receivers are valuable now weight of they have

24:50

that. I

24:52

can loot a tug of war against the

24:54

ball I'm on as rough as didn't sit

24:56

well mans going to visit a slow everything

24:59

down a review every plate see and i

25:01

was tackles of assistance on of explain. The

25:03

hip drop tackle I know you're you're

25:05

a reach around He grabbed the guy

25:07

in the new you actually go to

25:10

the ground while holding the guy and

25:12

your weight and inertia and I displayed

25:14

the physics do you look at how

25:16

we get into the animal. But

25:19

that you dropped down to the ground and take him with you.

25:22

And of the most. Obvious.

25:26

Example was when Mark Andrews titan for

25:28

the Ravens attack on last year and

25:30

as the guy's going to the ground

25:32

he lands on Andrews ankle and immediately

25:34

and his ankle and his lower leg

25:36

or reached a separation agreement with whom

25:38

and house out of the rest of

25:40

the season. Oh yeah yeah I mean

25:42

it's Rajar and it's rough. But.

25:45

i mean andrew said why is scientifically

25:47

i'm right i'm a big guy what

25:49

does he want you know what what

25:51

are what are we supposed to do

25:53

as defensive players save legislative defense out

25:55

of my national football league tom are

25:57

your thoughts mob And

26:01

speaking of basketball, yeah Are

26:04

you enjoying the tournament? Are you liking the

26:07

you liking your bracket? Watch the ladies? Oh,

26:10

I saw an ESPN this morning. There were three

26:13

Brackets that were still all intact.

26:15

No kidding on the ladies side Yeah

26:17

on the women's zero and the men

26:19

right I'm not sure but they

26:21

call them brockets on the ladies side. Oh Oh,

26:24

that's funny Not

26:26

really. Oh, they don't do that. No. No.

26:28

Okay. Why don't they? Why

26:31

don't they have by the way,

26:33

do you think it's I Heard

26:37

one guy that should know better saying in the

26:41

woman's Women's oh,

26:43

but he was saying he was a woman repeat I thought

26:45

it was a mistake the first time then when he did

26:47

it like five times in the woman's

26:49

tourney Isn't it

26:52

technically women's tournament? That'd

26:54

be your group. Yeah This

26:57

was someone who should know better on you probably can't say

26:59

girls either on the girls side The

27:02

boys bracket no bracket. Yeah, I just don't think yeah, nobody would

27:04

say that I don't think I

27:07

say why can't they instead of you know,

27:09

like they wore warm-ups for basketball Yeah, like

27:12

the tracksuits and the tracks. Why can't they

27:14

have ladies wear aprons and Do

27:18

you want to get? castrated

27:25

Yeah Him

27:31

by himself Second-centered a

27:33

roost. He wrote he wrote now. We're back

27:35

to this again being by myself Being

27:39

lazy. I don't

27:41

know how this is started. You know, it's okay to

27:43

be alone I

27:47

Was I was surprised shocked and kind

27:49

of pleased that you went to a

27:51

movie Although you say you went

27:54

to a movie god knows what really happened. I

27:57

never believe anything. No movie by yourself. I

27:59

hit myself the girls at the airport

28:01

went to a movie. By yourself. Yeah, I don't believe

28:03

in work. Well, for you. That's

28:05

correct. It was a last minute decision. The

28:07

movie was starting in 15 minutes. It didn't have time to...

28:10

Okay. There you go. Did you hit

28:12

any snag while you were trying to get into the

28:14

movie, like a less than enthused employee at the cinema?

28:16

No, they were very nice. Did you hit some popcorn?

28:18

I did. They weren't selling tickets at the

28:20

front. Yeah, yeah. When you get your drinks, you get

28:22

your ticket. There were maybe

28:24

four people in theater, five maybe. Wow.

28:28

You didn't use your phone to get your ticket, and then

28:30

they shoot your phone? I didn't have time. Okay.

28:33

Made the decision in the car. All right. Yeah,

28:35

it's great. Good movie called American

28:37

Fiction. Well, last night, you're all by yourself.

28:39

Did you have dinner alone? Did you go

28:42

out to a restaurant? I had eggs and

28:44

chicken sausage. Very nice. Okay.

28:47

Boiled the sausage. Now, with the chicken sausage... Boiled?

28:50

That is really... The way you'd cook a broth.

28:52

Yeah. Delicious in the bizarro world. Yeah.

28:55

Scrambled eggs and chicken. You didn't fry it up?

28:57

Scrambled eggs and chicken sausage. It was delicious. They

28:59

keep the feathers in there for the chicken sausage?

29:01

I couldn't tell. I know they... The

29:03

one I got to organically is

29:05

organic less anus. Now

29:08

with less anus? Which is funny, because that

29:10

was the name of our program director in

29:13

DeLand, the less anus.

29:15

He was good. For the

29:17

love of God. We

29:19

know where DeLand is. We're

29:22

not even doing it anymore. Okay,

29:24

fine. Why not? Why not?

29:27

Our ratings drop. Delightful listeners. They

29:29

know the drill. I'm sorry. I

29:32

think we interrupted you about basketball. NCAA

29:34

tournament could be heading toward expansion. Oh,

29:38

God. This is basketball,

29:40

not the football side. Basketball

29:42

wants in on the action. Why do

29:44

they want to expand the tournament, Tom? More

29:46

money, more change. Money, money, money, money. Nope.

29:50

It's more money. The tournament field is currently set

29:52

at 68. That number could go up to 76

29:54

schools in the coming years. Is

29:57

that one more day of playin'? I

30:00

don't know how it works out bracket-wise. This year

30:03

only one of the double-digit teams made it to

30:05

the Sweet 16. Yes, North Carolina

30:07

11 seed. That was the only one that...

30:10

That is cool when there are

30:12

upsets, but... Well, sure there. Would

30:15

you have some sub-500 teams making it at this

30:17

point? Yeah, I

30:19

say put everybody in. I don't care who wins

30:21

what. Put them all in. Add one other weekend?

30:24

Put them all in. The tournament. This

30:26

would strip the NIT of its... Gravitas.

30:30

Yeah, there'd be nobody laughing. No, there

30:33

wouldn't. How's

30:35

the NIT going, by the way? I

30:38

hate to nitpick, Tom. Amazing.

30:42

See, I haven't there. They play tonight. Yes,

30:45

Indiana State hosts Cincinnati. Go Sycamores. That's

30:47

right. Indiana State has a

30:49

magnificent basketball player named

30:51

Robbie Avila who wears

30:54

goggles. He's a

30:56

tall fellow playing basketball, but he's earned

30:59

the nickname Cream, C-R-E-A-M,

31:01

Cream Abdul Jabbar. All right.

31:03

That's cool. Because he wears

31:05

goggles like Abdul Jabbar used to. That'd be a

31:07

cool name for a drink. What? The

31:10

Cream Abdul Jabbar. Like

31:12

some kind of... Like with Bailey or

31:14

something? Mocha drink with an arthritis muscle. Oh,

31:17

I'd give him alcohol. With

31:19

what you say. Isn't he doing arthritis medicine, I don't know. Yeah,

31:22

I think he'll do it. No, he has asyb,

31:24

I think. Oh, yeah. Oh,

31:26

yeah, yeah. He does asyb. Yeah. You

31:29

know he has arthritis. Have you seen him? Oh. That

31:32

man's tall. Yeah. I can't imagine

31:34

being that tall. Doesn't his knee have to hurt? Isn't his head

31:36

getting really heavy? Yeah. Man, oh,

31:38

man. But what

31:40

a fine actor. You can't beat him

31:43

in the movie Airplane. That's classic stuff.

31:45

You know, he said that people used

31:47

to ask him how the weather is

31:49

up there. Chamberlain said

31:51

the same thing. And he said,

31:53

I spit on him and said it's raining. I

31:55

spit on them. What do you

31:57

think of that? Wow. There are 350. one

32:00

schools that are full members

32:02

of division one basketball conferences.

32:05

So 68 teams. Now,

32:10

if you go with me here

32:12

and wonderful world of math, I

32:16

don't know how many more they'd have to add, but

32:19

I don't know why not, but everybody in

32:21

the tournament, Tom make it fair, you'd have Cinderella

32:23

stories out the ass. No, you would for a

32:25

week. Then they'd be gone. Well,

32:31

I don't even know why they do it the way they do it.

32:33

Now they should just stop the tournament. Nobody enjoys it. We

32:39

haven't had the vasectomy story yet. Oh

32:41

yeah. Get that every year. We haven't

32:43

had that. No, we haven't. That's surprising. I think

32:45

it's being done across the country. And

32:48

isn't it, they've got it down in

32:50

such a non-invasive way that there's

32:53

very little, very little recuperative

32:55

time. I'm not aware of that. We're talking about

32:58

the first week of the tournament, certain

33:01

urological associations, whatever you call

33:03

them, have vasectomy

33:07

things so you can get a

33:09

vasectomy and then sit around with the frozen peas

33:11

and corn on your nuts while they recover. And

33:14

you can just watch basketball all day. Right. Pretty

33:16

good idea. But I mean, that is a good

33:18

idea. You could sit around and as we know

33:20

about me, Tom, I sit around all the time

33:22

and watch a TV all the time because that's

33:24

what's on TV. Didn't you? On record as saying

33:27

you've run out of things to watch. I'm

33:31

on record of saying I lived with

33:33

a man in San Francisco, California for

33:35

three years. Do you think that's true?

33:40

My, my, my apologies. I

33:42

don't believe you, but

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That's buyraycon.com slash Tom. Thank

34:37

you very much. We're getting coming up. We

34:39

have what happens if you pee your

34:42

pants on the prices right in the news and

34:44

300 cats, one house. And

34:48

Caitlin Clark in Iowa Advance last night. We'll talk

34:50

about that. Alright, this is the Bob and Tom

34:52

show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom

34:54

show this morning. The show is also out there

34:56

for you on our YouTube channel. Watch

34:59

and subscribe. Second

35:03

and now. What?

35:08

I know you. Yeah.

35:11

Yeah. Uh huh. Sure. That's what you said.

35:13

OK. What? Look. The

35:15

Bob and Tom show. Hi,

35:18

everybody. Here's Tom. We

35:21

were talking about some of the

35:24

unusual stuff happening in the world of college basketball.

35:26

I'm looking at this picture

35:28

of our Robby Avia, and he's got on the Mr. Moto

35:31

glasses, I guess you call. You

35:38

wouldn't ever. You would never call

35:40

that publicly. And I don't think is

35:42

the Kareem goggles, right? The I don't

35:44

see. Have you seen him? Yeah.

35:47

Chris Sabo. Have you seen him in the goggles?

35:49

I'm looking at him right now. I was in

35:51

the press release. He's wearing his regular glasses. Yeah.

35:54

Yeah. But those aren't the goggles you wear. No,

35:56

they're eye protection. Yeah. So

35:58

what? Have you seen? seen the players that

36:00

are wearing those um they collect

36:02

if you've got a broken nose or a broken eye socket

36:05

they wear the like the plastic yeah double phantom

36:09

on the opera they look kind of cool would it be

36:11

legal if a team

36:13

came out and they all had those on except they had the

36:15

groucho noses on them I

36:18

don't think so two minutes left all of a sudden they all come

36:20

out they do the groucho

36:23

walk out to the court act

36:26

like they're hashing a cigar that'd be

36:28

great it would be fun but

36:31

I mean illegal huh okay yeah they're

36:33

stodgy aren't they maybe the globe trotter

36:35

should try he's

36:38

any averages like 17 points a once a game

36:41

he's got some game yeah of course he does

36:43

they're in the window there that's why they're doing

36:45

so well you see yeah he's a good player

36:47

of a right yeah he's good let's move forward

36:50

here I'm sorry what else is happening support okay

36:55

scored 32 points number one see macho

36:57

glasses in various shades of human flesh

36:59

tones what um didn't

37:01

I was gonna say I think

37:03

so did the one famous rapper

37:05

yeah the Humpty dance yeah Humpty

37:08

wasn't his I'm so excited

37:10

we get to hear Josh Arnold's what was

37:12

that guy's name in the Humpty shock

37:15

shock shock G yeah jockey hey just passed

37:17

away what two years ago not I don't

37:19

know why I was looking at ace having

37:21

him confirm because he knows

37:23

cuz I once got busy in the Burger King

37:26

back oh boy it's crazy

37:28

music that's right stop what

37:30

you're doing because I'm about

37:34

to ruin I

37:38

think his was brown you have

37:41

those available commercially I mean you're not I don't

37:43

know just asking

37:45

oh yeah no need to get all mad about

37:47

it don't run away Bob oh

37:54

chicks doing a move on zero

38:00

What was this gentleman's air

38:02

name? Shock!

38:13

And he's no longer with you? I believe that

38:15

she stood for Gary! Samoan!

38:19

Yeah! He

38:21

just said that in the middle of the song!

38:24

Samoan! That horrible Dan Aykroyd movie. He

38:26

is in nothing but trouble. In fact,

38:28

the entire digital underground is in nothing

38:30

but trouble. Oh my goodness. It's embarrassing.

38:33

He's shocky and known by his

38:36

alter ego, Humpty Hump. Yes.

38:39

Oh, I did not know that. Gregory Edward

38:41

Jacobs was his name at birth. Greg!

38:44

Well, Gary, I was close. Yeah. In

38:46

69, my Humpty nose will tickle your rear. Wow,

38:52

he had several various

38:54

stage names. Humpty Hump, the most prominent.

38:57

He was also known as a Rachidelic,

39:01

MC Blowfish, Gregory

39:04

Racker, I.T. Mike,

39:07

and Peanut Hakeem. That's a lot

39:09

of work. Remember Mother's name. I'm

39:13

still getting in the girl's dance and

39:15

I hear about my own dance. Oh,

39:19

I see. It's

39:23

being presented that he's so popular that

39:25

he has his own dance. Yeah. Much

39:28

like the Freddie. Do you know how to do it? I

39:30

think the tradition of course started by that. It is. Freddie

39:33

and the Dreamers, of course, with the song

39:35

The Freddie. Yes. I

39:37

want to see the Humpty dance. I

39:39

never mastered it. Oh.

39:41

But he tells you how to do it in the song. What do we

39:44

got here? We got the Humpty, we got the Freddie, we got the Dougie.

39:46

Remember we did the Dougie? Oh, sure. I

39:48

forget who taught you how to do the Dougie. Miss Pat

39:50

did. It's

39:52

interesting when a dance, I think

39:55

the most prominent example of course,

39:57

would Be put your left arm in, your

39:59

left eye. How about hockey with again how

40:01

the dance worse were as you do it which

40:03

is. That. More you Like I

40:05

like a psycho theme songs to the the

40:07

them the nature of the shows. You know

40:10

what do we want? Much western as well

40:12

as another that's physically hundred and. What's

40:14

why I know nothing more than let's let's twist

40:17

Serve, Let's twist again to shake your head like

40:19

we did last summer's. like you know, a lot

40:21

of duty, but if you were there last month,

40:23

swell then there are numerous. Oh L S got

40:25

this nice letter here. Are

40:28

the scum Suicide from

40:30

Sandy. Mom.

40:32

I would like to support Tom and his

40:34

love of the song Do the Freddie. Or

40:37

when I was a kid. The for Cel

40:40

Mai Verbal was a Beatles album. Beatles Sixty

40:42

Five. My brother talk to be ended trading

40:44

him for the Freddie in the Dreamers album.

40:47

Oh. My brother cheated me. oh

40:49

sure I like the friday but

40:51

I made a very bad trade

40:53

and my brother new it meal

40:55

l a dummy the same mistake

40:57

digit would you trade for. I

41:00

traded a bite in it's package

41:02

on opened. Derek.

41:04

In the Dominoes I traded for Crosby

41:06

Stills and Nash for Way Street. There

41:08

was one of our them in one

41:10

of the worst live albums ever made

41:12

Moon I'll be because it was actually

41:14

accurately recorded on and I and I

41:16

will be another year before I discovered

41:18

Layla was on dirt and the dominance.

41:21

Eric. Hidden his

41:23

name there's ah are We

41:25

have an email from Lisa.

41:28

Hello people Elisa After listening

41:30

to your attempts at finding

41:32

a catchy phrase our Law

41:34

say Kwan Barclays on Barkley

41:36

for show hey Otan email

41:38

on I suggest. Show.

41:41

Hey Oh tiny! How.

41:43

About show him the money. Oh

41:46

as a more fitting for is. So.

41:49

It would show hey oh type show him

41:51

the money is got the money you. Have

41:54

known that gets you got. I visited, even

41:56

participate. Thanks very much! Oh, it's a fairer

41:58

suggestion always have. Him. So

42:01

now. I

42:03

as or name is his name mean any

42:05

go way up in his show. A oh

42:08

Tiny means hello and welcome to the Parlor!

42:12

Reluctant incest or she can pass a lie

42:14

detector spewing be as like that and remember,

42:16

can we get one in here If you

42:18

believe it? Probably. It's. Not a

42:21

lot of ah. I

42:23

don't know why you guys still

42:25

believe be after all these years

42:27

as you're so sweet is yeah

42:29

I'm I'm is we've woken up.

42:32

I'll say something is your own seer

42:34

real. I

42:38

disagree. Usually that exactly Rogers, A

42:40

cat that got robots are more

42:42

stuff coming up including a World

42:44

Records. And more the Humpty

42:47

Down dances that explain themselves. Oh here

42:49

we go on our the want to

42:51

see no A boot Scruton Boogie I

42:53

am. I mean we're gonna country line

42:55

dance but I've always wanted to a

42:57

nutshell slide How. Yeah, that's big at weddings.

43:00

Muslims with the I'm Juju on dad beat

43:02

don't know that lot of a lot for

43:04

the height of her. I've been to a

43:06

country bar where country line dance has broken

43:09

out and I was fascinated by how many

43:11

people knew how to do you ever? Uma

43:13

Das right? Remember when we are no

43:15

charge, Charles them into South Carolina. That.

43:18

More we used to play all the time

43:20

of the have been sued line dance per

43:22

might have been where this happens in the

43:24

Cupid Shuffle well as a deadline. Of

43:27

a hassle and we all know other

43:29

versions of this one to case one

43:31

I love my son likes of the

43:33

Local motion of course a little even

43:35

and the great version by Grand Funk

43:37

and Fan and Standard And a chance

43:39

I met Religion. I can of course

43:41

assuming semi cocoa bob will find out

43:43

about this and more important things in

43:45

the new. so when we return this

43:47

is the Bob. A talk show I have

43:49

to say. This

43:54

is Bob and Tom so. Named.

43:57

one of the best personal finance

43:59

typecast The Stacking Benjamin Show with

44:01

Joe and his friends makes financial

44:03

literacy fun. I got an email

44:05

today from the lenpenzo.com HR department. I

44:08

find it really interesting. I'm an employee of one of

44:10

this company, but somebody from the HR department sent me

44:12

an email telling me that I had a raise. If

44:14

I just opened the attachment, I could see how much

44:16

my raise was. Make sure you click on the links

44:18

that are in there too. Oh,

44:20

absolutely. I can't wait. I'm excited. Find

44:23

out more by searching the Stacking

44:25

Benjamin's podcast wherever you listen. Hi

44:28

there. Sorry for the interruption,

44:30

but are you enjoying this show on

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Google Podcast? You should know that

44:34

the Google Podcast app is going away this

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switch to. Be sure to follow

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thanks for listening. Wherever you

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listen. My

44:59

brothers told us that they're doing a five-time job.

45:02

Help me. Help me. Help.

45:07

Hello, and welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy

45:10

Lee at the News Den. Hello.

45:12

Josh Arnold over at the Sidekick chair. Jake, how the heck

45:14

are you? I'm well. Good. There's

45:17

Ace Cosby. Who's he? Who

45:20

has that? I just bought

45:22

something funny. I

45:25

think he met me. I'm Chick

45:27

McGee. Pat got one under the

45:30

weather on his period, I

45:32

think. And here's Tom Griswold.

45:35

Once again, we were talking about bad trades and

45:37

a young Sandra. Bad

45:41

trade? Yeah, when she

45:43

traded the album with Do the Freddie on

45:45

it. And she

45:48

got that and gave away her Beatles 65 album. Right.

45:52

Oh, that's terrible. That's what brothers will do to you.

45:54

And this led us to a discussion of dances that

45:57

are named after the person. You've

45:59

got the... the Dougie. No

46:01

songs, the Freddie. Songs that

46:04

are concentrated, the

46:06

dance and the song, not necessarily

46:08

about the Dougie.

46:19

Is it Doug? I honestly don't know. And is

46:21

there a song about the Dougie? I don't know.

46:24

There is it, it's about time we wrote one. It's

46:26

a little late. Yeah.

46:30

Sorry. How many times have I

46:32

said that? A little late. Let's go home. Fortunately

46:34

I haven't had that before. Now let's

46:36

move forward here in any event.

46:38

Well what else? That's it. We've got the Humpty Dance,

46:40

we've got the Dougie. Is that it? A

46:42

twist? Well we did the Keep it Shuffle.

46:45

The Electric Slide doesn't really tell you how

46:47

to do it, does it? It

46:49

just sings about it. I'm constantly amazed. You go to

46:51

these weddings, you go out and the people that didn't

46:54

know are these stamps. Right. Do you know the Electric

46:56

Slide? No, I don't know the Keep it

46:58

Shuffle. I don't know any of it. The Keep it Shuffle, you just

47:00

have to follow the direction. I don't know, Boots Good and Boogie.

47:03

What's the one where you follow around on a big snake? That's

47:06

the bunny hop, isn't it? Oh, you

47:08

have a conga line. Anybody can do

47:10

that, right? Oh yeah. I'm gonna hit

47:12

you hard with the Electric Slide. What

47:21

is this? The

47:23

Electric Slide. Who's

47:27

singing

47:30

this?

47:32

I don't care for that. I

47:35

think I've heard a different version. The Hokey Pokey

47:37

teaches the dance. Now here, according to this news

47:40

account, there is the Urkel Dance

47:42

from the show Family Matters created by Steve

47:46

Urkel with a recording called

47:48

The Urkel. I

47:51

remember it. What about the Hustle? Did they do the

47:54

Hustle? No, they're excellent. I love the Hustle

47:56

music. music.

48:00

Yeah. I really do like it. Did you really

48:02

like that? Hate

48:05

it. Oh, you don't like that one? No.

48:08

I like that one. Sounds like Tom's on

48:10

the fence about it. I

48:13

hated the whole disgusting scene. Oh,

48:17

come on. Does have lyrics. Does

48:20

have lyrics? You the hot pot? I

48:23

thought you meant hair that were lyrics. And

48:26

we're out on the town and we're like, yeah, yeah.

48:28

And he did it. Wait, I'll call him a husband.

48:32

I'm sorry.

48:35

Didn't they do that to

48:37

like love stories? Didn't they add lyrics? Aren't there certain

48:39

songs that were hit and they added lyrics after the

48:41

fact? Grazing in

48:43

the grass. They jammed lyrics in there. Okay. All

48:46

right. Was that Young and the Restless theme

48:48

maybe? Naughty as theme? Did they add lyrics

48:50

to that? Oh, yeah. Remember Naughty Akumonich? Did

48:52

they forex the size of that? Remember that?

48:56

Vaguely. Naughty as theme. Do

48:58

the hustle associated with a particular time and place.

49:00

Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. A lot of these dances

49:02

are. Go to a disco and it was so

49:05

loud you couldn't talk to anyone. If you couldn't

49:07

dance, you had no ammo. Oh,

49:09

no. Wait a minute. Are you

49:11

saying you went to a disco? You

49:14

went inside a disco? I would have spent some time. I would have thought

49:16

there would have been a time where it was hard not to go to

49:18

a disco. Yeah, that's the thing. You made it to late 70s. I'm

49:21

not criticizing you. I just am amazed

49:23

and pleased that you're actually. But I

49:25

didn't really participate. You stand

49:28

in the corner with a drink? Yeah, you

49:30

can't hear anything. You can't talk to anyone.

49:32

You didn't have to promote the drink. If

49:34

you're wearing normal clothes. Normal clothes. Not wearing

49:37

a polyester thing with the collars out to

49:39

the shoulders and the leisure suits. Let

49:41

me ask you something. There's nothing like

49:43

jamming a fat guy into a

49:46

polyester shirt. And just thinking, why

49:48

am I 20 years old in this horrific

49:50

cultural moment? Couldn't I have been

49:53

here? Funny when things were

49:55

cool. Where are the roaring phones for God's

49:57

sake? Every generation has that. This

50:00

generation is going to look bad

50:03

going, geez, why? Why

50:05

am I wearing my hats backwards? I

50:10

look like a complete douche. I don't know....That's

50:12

just a personal thing. There's only one thing

50:14

to wear your hats 900 thread back. So

50:16

are you catching football or eating the Forward

50:19

G began

50:24

from the dance floor? Even if he's not

50:26

very good don't you just like that he's

50:28

out there and trying just

50:31

having fun is there something we said for of

50:33

course he's out there. I'm not

50:35

getting out there Josh. See that's what I'm saying. I remember

50:37

being laughed at by the DJ going okay look I'm sorry.

50:39

Well you're not there to hit on the DJ. You

50:42

went we're just finding out you went

50:44

to a disco and you tried to dance and

50:46

we're now just finding it out. And I went

50:48

to Mrs. Baster's dancing school. I know how to

50:50

dance. Do you? Well we

50:53

did like the Fox Frog. Yeah on the waltz

50:55

and the tango. Sure. The DJ can laugh all

50:57

he wants. You're out there for the girls. Right.

50:59

I don't care. Once again you can't you can't

51:01

use any of your wit or charm on them

51:03

when it's like well they're playing disco

51:05

inferno for the 10,000th time. What?

51:08

You got to talk with your body. Yeah. Grab

51:11

your crud. Let me see your body talk.

51:14

Olivia Newton-Joss. Yes. Let's

51:16

get physical. I see. Oh

51:18

there's something about a guy that can dance though. Really? Well

51:21

sure. I would imagine. I'm not a guy who can eat

51:23

a clam sandwich. How about that? Well

51:26

it's hard to sell that on the dance floor. That's

51:28

what I'm saying. You can't. I'm

51:30

sick and tired over and over and over again.

51:32

I'll ask what does a girl want? Oh

51:35

he has to have a sense of humor. Wrong!

51:38

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

51:40

A sense of humor. Until

51:42

you get the... You know what? You're just not funny

51:45

anymore. Yeah. Okay. Alright.

51:47

Thank you. I'll get myself. Is everything a joke to

51:49

you? Yes. Followed

51:52

quickly by everything a joke to you.

51:54

Ain't nothing funny man. Here we go.

51:56

Okay. Coming up we have... Oh!

52:00

I really, it's so great! It

52:07

really is so aggressive! So

52:09

anyway, I think we... Didn't

52:11

that guy die? Van McCoy. Didn't

52:13

he croak right after that game? I believe Van McCoy

52:15

and the Soul City Symphony. Wow!

52:17

What's Soul City? I

52:19

don't know what Soul City is, I'm guessing. Is it a

52:22

place, Philly? I don't know. I think they... Is it a...

52:25

Is it a literative? I think that's what

52:27

they... No Josh, maybe later we could go

52:29

to... Oh! Jesus!

52:33

That's not the hustle Josh. They should

52:35

use that for the Oscar songs. Because

52:37

it was just, nobody could... Oh,

52:39

I got the best runt! You'd have

52:41

to dance all right. That would be great.

52:43

You know, there comes a time, and I'd

52:45

just like to thank everyone. All

52:48

the people that... Oh! Jesus! Oh,

52:50

I got you all! Okay, thank you! Thank you, good

52:52

night! I want to thank my publicist.

52:56

Well, that's got to stop. The publicist? The

52:59

publicist? Everyone's at those awards shows.

53:01

Yes. When I hear the word award

53:04

season, I want to start shooting. You know... The

53:06

hunting season, the awards season, really with

53:08

the... The poontang

53:10

and the money isn't enough for you guys,

53:12

you got to award each other. There's something

53:15

abrasive about you saying poontang. Yeah. They

53:18

did the Screen Actors Guild on Netflix. Ergo,

53:20

they didn't have any commercials. Nice. So

53:23

when you got up and thanked people, you could go... I

53:25

forget who it was, but somebody was thanking, and

53:27

she stopped and goes, Oh,

53:30

I could keep talking. I've got all... I

53:32

don't have anything else to say. Good night! It

53:34

was great! It was really good. Real good, Tom.

53:37

Real good. Yeah, I passed. Okay. Now,

53:40

more sports coming

53:42

up. You know how to do the tighten up? Is

53:45

there a tighten up, though? Are you kidding? In

53:47

Houston, we dance as good as we want. Yeah, that's true, but...

53:50

Is that the type that was like... Does that song qualify? But

53:53

they don't explain how to tighten up. No. And

53:56

as someone who might be considered uptight... Yeah. They

53:58

don't explain how to do the hustle. That's

54:00

true, they don't. They expect you

54:03

to know. Is there an actual

54:05

dance? The hustle? Well, you know, the hustle was

54:07

invented. Oh, Jesus! Son

54:10

of a... In

54:16

the law, you have to get on with your dance.

54:18

That's right. You're

54:20

right. So

54:23

is the hustle more intrusive, or is

54:25

it happy by farro? Is that more

54:28

intrusive? Oh, I think happy is... I

54:31

think maybe the Humpty dance would be more intrusive, don't you think? Policy

54:33

is perfect! Oh,

54:35

yeah. Well, that's... That's true.

54:37

Okay. How about a break? A mental

54:39

break here? Yeah. Coming

54:43

up, we have... We

54:46

have a world record. One of the

54:48

first world records. I don't even understand what this means.

54:52

We have... I've never heard of this world record.

54:54

I mean, I've heard of running. Yeah, I heard of this. I

54:57

don't know what that is. There's

54:59

also a really... Yeah, that's

55:01

a fascinating event. The Barkley

55:03

Marathon. Not Charles Barkley. It's

55:06

a crazy event with a

55:08

really weird, unfortunate history. But

55:12

we have good news that we have a doggy that had

55:14

his head stuck in a tire, but they freed

55:17

him. Before we get too far away

55:19

from the hustle, apparently, according to the internet,

55:21

and it knows everything, the hustle is

55:23

a formal dance with a partner. You

55:26

have to do it with someone. It's not like a solo

55:28

thing. Well, how about that? I'll

55:31

be damned! Well, I

55:33

was not aware of that, and... You

55:36

can bury me in... If I'm not aware of

55:38

it, I'll be okay. Did you dance at your wedding?

55:42

No, I believe I was busy writing checks. You

55:47

know what? There's nothing like an event

55:49

where you can relate to it

55:51

with a warm memory. Yes! You

55:57

don't have to dance with your gal in the kitchen

55:59

while you're doing dishes. Were you there at the bar?

56:01

I was there, yeah. And we were all standing around.

56:03

The only thing we were doing was asking, where's

56:06

the most expensive bottle of whatever you got?

56:08

I felt really bad. And we were drinking

56:10

it dry. Yeah. So you

56:13

were running Jack's? Yes. Oh yeah. Oh

56:15

yeah. It was so funny.

56:17

At one point I got pulled away from

56:20

the festivities by the manager

56:22

with the basic which was, who the

56:24

hell's paying for that? Now is a

56:26

good time. That

56:29

happened. Good time indeed. I think

57:24

the the

57:58

a a We

58:00

have good news about a doggy and

58:03

a couple cool world records and

58:05

the Cadbury Bunny tryouts. They

58:08

have a winner. We'll find out it's not

58:10

a chicken. This is the Bob and Tom show. Welcome

58:15

back to the Bob and Tom show. What

58:18

happened to today's presentation? I don't know. When

58:20

did it go off the rails? Because

58:23

it really, it really has. We'll

58:25

get back in the rails. Hey, a couple of quick things. We're

58:28

going to be doing this show on Monday,

58:30

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday morning from

58:33

Nation Kitchen and Bar at the BET

58:35

MGM Sportsbook at the Banks Cincinnati, Ohio,

58:37

USA, right across from the entrance to

58:40

Great American Ballpark. You can join

58:42

us 6 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time.

58:44

Hope to see you there courtesy

58:46

of 92 5 the Fox. And

58:48

then a week later and a

58:50

day, it'll be a special edition

58:52

of this show live from Charleston. West Virginia

58:55

will be at the Charleston Coliseum and Convention

58:57

Center that morning. With a special live comedy

58:59

show that evening starring Pat Godwin, Jeff

59:02

Oskey, Josh Arnold, Willie G. Christie and I will be

59:04

your host for that event. Hope to see you there.

59:06

Tickets for that show available at Ticketmaster. It's

59:08

going to be the place to be. You

59:11

know, that's Tudor's biscuit world country. That's, uh,

59:14

oh, what? These

59:17

are especially delicious. They are especially delicious and large.

59:19

And how does one eat one butter

59:22

and sandwich style? Also, you can get

59:24

a, I was just saying my favorite biscuit

59:27

place is no longer here. Oh, really? What

59:30

was your favorite biscuit? The cooker. Oh

59:32

no. There's another, still a couple of them. Extent,

59:35

if you will. Um, delicious. Uh,

59:37

but we'll have to check those out. What

59:39

are they called again, Josh? Tudor's biscuit world.

59:42

T-U-D-O-O-T-E-R. It's

59:44

actually like the old T-U-D-O-R. Oh, like

59:46

a fancy word. Yeah. Like an English

59:49

tutoring would be funnier if it was

59:51

a T-O-O-T. It would be funnier. Sounds

59:53

like Tootie. Speaking of things that Toot.

59:55

Tootie Footie. Um, how about more sports?

59:57

What do you got over there? I

1:00:03

bring the house down ladies and gentlemen the

1:00:05

dogs will raise their heads Who

1:00:08

to today dear dogs ever toot and then look

1:00:10

around like what the hell was that? Frankie

1:00:14

did that yesterday scared her the scared

1:00:16

herself the Golden who just turned

1:00:19

She's ten and a half. Oh can

1:00:22

clear a room with It

1:00:25

is awful monkey and she

1:00:27

started to do this when she gets

1:00:30

up Okay

1:00:45

Where was I? stupid

1:00:47

world record British

1:00:52

runner, Miss Jasmine Paris But

1:00:55

that's only the name of a street or

1:00:57

a stripper only fans or I'm in Paris.

1:00:59

Yeah an undercover spy Yes,

1:01:01

yeah works for man from uncle a beautiful

1:01:04

name. Yeah, she's become the first

1:01:06

woman to finish the famed Barkley marathons And

1:01:09

I think there should be a rule if you refer years famed

1:01:13

You should be famous. Yeah, I'd never heard

1:01:16

of them. Anybody. Anybody here Barkley marathons

1:01:18

anybody? No, but it is a marathon No,

1:01:20

it's a marathon. So there's a there's a

1:01:22

documentary about it right now. Huh?

1:01:24

Yeah, I like to take a look at that It's

1:01:27

really odd CNN What

1:01:30

makes it odd? Yeah, I was gonna ask that but

1:01:32

we'll keep reading you'll see CNN

1:01:35

reports the grueling race consists of five

1:01:37

loops of around 20 miles each For

1:01:41

a total of a hundred 130 miles through It

1:01:45

says here brushy mountains in

1:01:47

Tennessee with an elevation gain of

1:01:49

around 63,000 feet Sounds

1:01:52

cool. But man, that's got to be our job

1:01:55

athletes run the course over three

1:01:58

sleepless days and nights What?

1:02:01

Without aid stations, phones, or GPS.

1:02:03

Oh my gosh, how do they

1:02:05

know where to go? Grueling. They

1:02:08

should get rid of the sparkling. They don't always.

1:02:10

What does that mean? And call it the nightmare

1:02:12

marathon. You go on, you'll see. Miss

1:02:14

Paris finished with a time of

1:02:17

59 hours, 58 minutes, 21 seconds,

1:02:19

just 99 seconds before

1:02:21

the 60 hour time limit

1:02:23

elapsed. Oh, okay. So it's

1:02:26

all right. The 40 year old

1:02:28

was just one of five

1:02:30

finishers. Oh man. Yeah,

1:02:32

that's incredible. Yes,

1:02:35

she's from England, but

1:02:38

people come from all over the world to participate in

1:02:40

this thing. I think I've seen

1:02:42

this now that I'm talking about it. Yeah, the history

1:02:44

of it is rather odd. I won't go into it,

1:02:46

but she looked a little odd because she was running

1:02:48

on the other side of the street. She

1:02:51

was so fast because she was running away from her

1:02:53

dentist. Well, you

1:02:55

find a way. I

1:02:59

think there was a time when that might

1:03:02

have been an issue, but I don't think

1:03:04

so much anymore. The history of great English

1:03:06

rock stars. It's so funny how many of

1:03:08

them early on are never smiling because they're

1:03:10

such bad teeth. There's a

1:03:12

combination of factors. Post-war

1:03:15

England didn't have a lot to

1:03:17

say. Early inbreeding. This

1:03:19

race, Christy, is so bizarre. I

1:03:22

actually read about this yesterday. The guy

1:03:24

that starts the race that created it,

1:03:26

the race starts when he lights a

1:03:28

cigarette. All right.

1:03:30

No, I'm not kidding. That's the signal,

1:03:34

but it's starting. Okay.

1:03:39

His name is Gary Cantrell. It

1:03:42

takes place in Tennessee's Frozen Head

1:03:44

State Park. No,

1:03:47

thanks. It's more than an ultra

1:03:49

marathon. It's amazing. Most

1:03:51

of the people drop out. Not

1:03:55

to mention Violet. Oh, dude.

1:03:57

Crap their pants and cry. That's

1:04:00

an endurance test for sure. Peter Panff

1:04:03

and the registration fee apparently is a

1:04:05

pack of Campbell cigarettes. It's just nutty.

1:04:07

What? Is that true? No. That's

1:04:11

kind of fun. It's a fun fact. The

1:04:13

race officially begins when the race director lights

1:04:15

a cigarette. But that's it for charity. They

1:04:17

give them to school kids without cigarettes. Yeah.

1:04:19

It's a pretty good charity. Yeah, come on.

1:04:21

You never hear about that. No, no. It's...

1:04:25

You know you can still get candy cigarettes. It's

1:04:28

very easy. I think on

1:04:30

the internet they don't have them on display at

1:04:32

the stores anymore. Well, no, of course not. Those

1:04:35

are still great, man. Candy cigar... Remember the bubblegum

1:04:37

cigar? Of course. These candy vapes they have these

1:04:39

days. Oh, no fun. They just don't taste good.

1:04:42

Now, wait a second. Weren't they like L bubble?

1:04:44

L bubble? The Nestle's Crunch

1:04:46

Vape. Is

1:04:48

there a Nestle's Crunch Vape? I don't want to

1:04:50

try that. And

1:04:52

you get for all your many children, what have you

1:04:54

got? Like nine or 12 now, whatever it is. Did

1:04:57

you get the cigars? The

1:04:59

bubblegum cigars? No. They have blue

1:05:01

and pink ones just for that. Oh, yeah. No,

1:05:03

no, no, no. Huh. Oh, yeah. That's

1:05:05

not for your kids. That's not for your kids. I mean, to

1:05:08

pass out to people. To pass out to people. When you

1:05:10

had a baby. No. I really like

1:05:12

that tradition. Isn't that nice passing out cigars? Yeah. Yeah.

1:05:15

Like real cigars? Yeah. I

1:05:17

think that's a classy, cool tradition. Yeah. Everybody

1:05:19

hears from now on I want to not have a tongue because I've

1:05:22

got tongue cancer. Doesn't mean you have to smoke it. I'll say it

1:05:24

in my case. You don't have to smoke it. You don't have to

1:05:26

smoke it. You were born on

1:05:28

a pirate ship. I was born in a

1:05:30

... Oh, wait a minute. You tried to drink me. You

1:05:33

tried to drink him? That's a boy. That's a generous

1:05:35

friend. What's the old ... You can drink me under the table.

1:05:38

There's a joke there somewhere. The

1:05:43

origin of this race is I'll be behind the

1:05:45

couch really bizarre. It is bizarre. You don't

1:05:47

want to know about it. Oh, really? Yeah.

1:05:50

When he says stuff like that, it means that there's some sort

1:05:52

of horrible sexual cram that it's made of. No,

1:05:55

trust me. I'll pay off here. That's horrible.

1:05:57

You ... All right. Well, trust me. Tom,

1:06:00

did it say? Let me hang on. How

1:06:02

many started? Good is where I come in and say

1:06:04

if you're worried and upset

1:06:06

about the angle where this gets

1:06:09

incredibly troubling, we wouldn't have known

1:06:11

anything about this. Yeah. There's

1:06:14

a couple things you'll like, Jeff. First of all, it

1:06:16

says here the race has a 99% dropout rate. Well,

1:06:20

I congratulate- And no one finished between 2017 and 2020.

1:06:24

Congratulations to anyone who attempts it. Listen

1:06:26

to this. It's

1:06:29

really confusing as to how you find

1:06:31

your way. It says athletes must

1:06:33

rip out a page corresponding

1:06:36

to their bib number. Okay. So

1:06:38

they have, in other words, you'll find at

1:06:40

each checkpoint, there's a paperback book. You

1:06:43

have to find the page with your bib number, rip

1:06:45

it out, and then move on. So if you're wearing

1:06:47

71, you got to rip out page 71. Grab page

1:06:49

71. All right. That's kind

1:06:51

of cool. It's kind of stupid. And kind

1:06:53

of, the whole thing is weird. Well, it also kind

1:06:56

of lets them know who is- That you didn't cheat.

1:06:58

Or who didn't get eaten by a black

1:07:00

bear. Yeah. You don't

1:07:03

get the rosy-rooes. I took the

1:07:05

subway around the mountain in Tennessee.

1:07:07

Okay. I'm sorry. So

1:07:09

let's move on. Thank you. Because this

1:07:11

other world record's really stupid. Oh. Stupid.

1:07:14

Not like that one. That one's

1:07:16

arduous and difficult. A

1:07:19

fitness trainer from Brooklyn, New York has

1:07:21

broken two Guinness World Records for lunging.

1:07:24

What does that mean? You don't do lunges when you work out? Here's

1:07:27

Christy to demonstrate. There's a forward lunge. There she goes.

1:07:30

Oh, right about here, she'll fart. See? Oh,

1:07:32

she's been ripping ass the whole time. I told you. Then reverse lunges

1:07:34

are when you step backwards and do it. And

1:07:36

then you fall and hurt your head. So this

1:07:38

guy lunged around New York City? And

1:07:40

then the nasty lunge is when you drink a nice tea. That's

1:07:44

flawless. Oh, that's flawless. That's

1:07:46

flawless. I see plunge. Yeah.

1:07:50

So what'd this guy do? No,

1:08:02

fitness trader, Mr. Austin Head. Uh-huh.

1:08:04

Okay, that sounds like a porn

1:08:06

star. Well, it's Murray's brother. One

1:08:10

night in Bangkok and the world's

1:08:12

your oyster. Doesn't Austin Head

1:08:14

sound like a gay porno guy? From

1:08:17

Texas? Everything's

1:08:20

bigger in Texas, including Austin Head. Oh dear God,

1:08:22

what is that thing? Mr. Austin Head smashed the

1:08:24

previous record for the most lunges an hour

1:08:27

male after performing a total of 2,825 lunges in 60

1:08:29

minutes. Your

1:08:34

thighs would be coming gorged

1:08:36

in flames. You know what, Christy? He may be

1:08:38

doing those like jumping lunge things where it's real

1:08:40

quick back to back. Yeah, I don't know. Well,

1:08:43

that's a side, like a side lunge. You just

1:08:45

do them in place. You don't move forward. Yeah.

1:08:48

World. The 30-year-old trainer, Mr. Austin

1:08:50

Head is a

1:08:52

trainer for Lifetime Fitness, lunged 2.14 miles

1:08:56

in 60 minutes to achieve the time. Oh,

1:08:58

so he did. He was moving. That's

1:09:00

insanity. Yeah, you're right. They show him

1:09:02

here. He is zane. They interviewed his knees. Here,

1:09:05

we have audio of that. Man.

1:09:08

They interviewed his balls.

1:09:10

He went, woo, woo, woo. Hi.

1:09:15

He's been doing the Lifetime Fitness. Great

1:09:17

play. He's being followed by a bunch of

1:09:19

people right after this picture was taken. They

1:09:21

mugged him. Hey, as soon as

1:09:23

he's done with this, we got him. New York

1:09:25

City. Well,

1:09:28

good for you. Congratulations. Thanks.

1:09:31

Now, didn't you get a lunch record?

1:09:34

I did. I ate two

1:09:36

and a half miles of lunch. It

1:09:39

was a long, Philly cheesesteak.

1:09:41

Now, Josh, didn't you set

1:09:43

a record eating lunch is

1:09:46

what he said. It's

1:09:49

just... You know what

1:09:51

really hurts? Later

1:09:53

on today, I'll get a text from my brothers. Right.

1:09:56

As though I'm not on the text. Hey, did you hear

1:09:59

what time's about? He wrote a record

1:10:01

for eating lunch. Yeah, it was awesome. And

1:10:04

I just have to read that. He's working for Rawlings.

1:10:06

You had a break here in Philadelphia. He said, when

1:10:09

in Rome, I ate a

1:10:11

12-foot subway. Lunches.

1:10:15

Lunches. Lunches. Lunches. Oh,

1:10:17

wait a minute. I just got lunches and lunches.

1:10:19

Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, he was actually doing

1:10:21

it. Oh, yeah. That's even funnier. I just thought

1:10:23

he was picking on you for a second. Well,

1:10:25

he won't. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Sorry. I thought

1:10:28

there was no connection, though. No connection, though. Absolutely

1:10:30

none of it. Totally undeserved. A baseball team

1:10:32

in Maine. Oh, so fat. I'm

1:10:34

so, so fat. I'm so fat. Nobody's

1:10:38

better than me. Nobody's better than

1:10:40

me. All I do,

1:10:42

I eat jerking and jerking and eating. Make

1:10:47

them panties up and put the salami

1:10:49

on. And me with the breadstick.

1:10:52

I'm so fat. I never get

1:10:54

to hear the end, usually. Yeah. Oh,

1:10:56

man. And you said you've been losing a lot of weight.

1:10:58

You're looking good. You're going to ruin the whole bit. No,

1:11:02

no. You can be any size and still be fat. You

1:11:05

can act fat no matter what size you are. Sure. Yeah.

1:11:07

I did it dinner last night. I'm not going to. Oh,

1:11:10

you got. Oh, I ate a lot. Really?

1:11:13

That was good. Three beans

1:11:15

and a piece of lettuce. Yeah. No.

1:11:18

What did you have? Crazy. I had a teaspoon

1:11:20

of Cool Whip. It was nuts. What did

1:11:22

you have? Why did I say something? I

1:11:24

don't know. I had mixed vegetables with garlic

1:11:26

tofu sauce and. Oh, gee,

1:11:28

what's that? Four calories and a.

1:11:31

No, it was huge. And some kind

1:11:33

of religious pamphlet. Oh, it's still your prayer for your cup

1:11:35

of coffee. I'm going to eat it. That

1:11:37

does sound real good. I've got a rental for you.

1:11:39

What's your name? I'm going to eat it. I'm going

1:11:41

to eat it. I'm going to eat it. I'm going

1:11:43

to eat it. I'm going to eat it. I'm going

1:11:45

to eat it. I've got a rental for you. What's

1:11:47

the difference between what you ate last night and vomit?

1:11:50

It sounds like the Buddha's feast. It was kind of like that.

1:11:52

Yeah. Nothing. Nothing.

1:11:56

What did you have last night, Josh? Last night for

1:11:58

dinner. Sushi. I had two rainbow rolls. know

1:12:00

on Monday to yeah you

1:12:02

know what they say rainbow rolls never efficient

1:12:05

on Monday you know what I

1:12:07

came in here and told him that once I

1:12:09

know and he's never yeah

1:12:12

I said you never get sushi on Monday because

1:12:14

they don't get deliveries you don't see people getting

1:12:16

deliveries on Sunday do you I what it was

1:12:18

so fresh and good so I'm not too worried

1:12:20

what did I do yesterday what did I do

1:12:23

for dinner Chinese Chinese I think

1:12:25

Chinese yeah I think something something

1:12:27

a lot of preservatives I'm

1:12:29

guessing chicken

1:12:32

rice chicken right okay very

1:12:34

good very good delicious okay very good yeah chicken

1:12:36

and egg I had that

1:12:38

chicken sausage and scrambled eggs and of course as

1:12:41

any chef will tell you

1:12:43

you boil the boiled the

1:12:45

sauce low low on oil

1:12:47

and fat yes I am surprised we're just like

1:12:49

a week away from Eastern you haven't mentioned your

1:12:52

your coloring eggs or anything yeah I you

1:12:54

know I the girls are out of town I you're

1:12:58

gonna do it by yourself and surprise them when they get back

1:13:00

good idea well at Easter Bunny game all you guys

1:13:02

were gone and I like I'm very old-school

1:13:05

I like the old way where you had

1:13:07

to boil the water yeah stupid tablets and

1:13:09

you don't have to boil the water

1:13:19

anymore I'm sure I'm sure it's much

1:13:21

more toxic and dangerous remember little metal

1:13:24

yeah yeah you know that some some

1:13:26

poor slob at one point got one

1:13:28

of those rings stuck in the inappropriate

1:13:30

place wrapped around me old around your

1:13:32

dinner Billy

1:13:40

here he put it up his keister

1:13:43

Easter calls he thinks it's funny I remember

1:13:46

those cheap little bunnies and wrap you

1:13:48

put the egg in the middle of it first

1:13:51

stand up and the worst thing

1:13:53

was in your kid you'd get the chocolate bunny bite

1:13:55

into it it was hollow yeah is

1:14:00

this? Yeah, get it out of here. Just

1:14:02

like my life. I used to throw them

1:14:04

right back in my ground. This is on

1:14:07

Christian. This is a hollow Easter egg. Well,

1:14:10

we have Cadbury eggs in the news, kind of.

1:14:12

And something. Caramel, caramel eggs. I like

1:14:14

the caramel. We do. I think we

1:14:16

have an actually in a bonus world

1:14:18

record. Bonus. Coming up. Yeah,

1:14:20

and it's, I was not familiar with

1:14:22

a Whoopie pie. Oh, they

1:14:25

still make those? Yeah, we'll find out about

1:14:27

the world record in Whoopie Pies. Boston Cream

1:14:29

Family. This is the Bob and Tom show.

1:14:32

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom

1:14:34

show this morning. Catch any part of the

1:14:36

show you missed later today on our YouTube

1:14:38

channel. I

1:14:41

win those tickets. Hey, welcome

1:14:43

back to the Bob and Tom show.

1:14:47

Talking candy cigarettes today. Uh,

1:14:50

they didn't have, uh, they

1:14:52

didn't have toy beer either. Why

1:14:57

didn't they have like a toy beer? We

1:14:59

kind of treated root beer as our, uh,

1:15:05

remember those little plastic, uh, tubes

1:15:08

filled with water, the waxy, those

1:15:10

wacky bottles. And that

1:15:13

had to be the purest form of

1:15:15

sugar known to modern man. Absolutely. I

1:15:17

didn't care for those at all. And

1:15:19

you guys liked them? Yeah, those pixie

1:15:21

sticks. Those wack. Pixie sticks were great.

1:15:23

Those are bad ass candy coke. Didn't

1:15:26

they have like vampire teeth that was

1:15:28

full of like a juice or something?

1:15:31

These dick. None of that was good. No. What

1:15:33

the hell's wrong with you? That was all great. Oh,

1:15:36

I didn't like any of it, but maybe because,

1:15:38

why, no gravy? When I was, well that's what,

1:15:40

that's what you had as a kid. By

1:15:42

the time I was, when I was a kid,

1:15:44

we had watchamacallits and rollos. We had real candy.

1:15:48

No, you had sugar, water, and no,

1:15:50

you had, you had health

1:15:52

freaks from the government dictating, canceling all

1:15:55

of our candy. No, that didn't happen.

1:15:57

What happened to sugar? smacks

1:16:00

some in the united states government got

1:16:02

rid of a major use a dictate

1:16:06

uh... my dictate funny but

1:16:11

let's just look at that for a while exact

1:16:13

i might make it uh...

1:16:16

where was i or you know uh... were on

1:16:18

the student or clearly time for a political that

1:16:23

very mister doubt

1:16:28

there is a joke at the david in

1:16:34

with g them

1:16:39

condition room

1:16:47

that was going to put out life-size henry

1:16:49

winkler dolls marina it was a fun

1:16:52

to use the uh... very

1:16:57

silly uh... yes

1:17:00

silly a

1:17:02

fun to use uh... very good

1:17:04

joke that you know by the way

1:17:06

fun to learn this on a podcast

1:17:08

out of henry winkler's mouth if

1:17:11

you want to prove to this you know

1:17:13

the motorcycle used to ride on uh... unhappy

1:17:15

day uh... nine times out

1:17:17

of ten it wasn't him writing it he

1:17:19

was terrified of the motorcycle for starters uh...

1:17:22

and the motorcycle was the

1:17:24

same one that steve

1:17:26

mcqueen used in uh...

1:17:29

the greatest game no way same role

1:17:31

that's what it's to the most famous

1:17:33

motorcycles in pop culture absolute are the

1:17:35

same motor same motor cycle why

1:17:37

they go to their triumphs inside of his

1:17:39

autobiography is really good is

1:17:42

uh... considered by almost everyone to be

1:17:44

the nicest guy ever you know i

1:17:46

don't know what was with twinkle winkler

1:17:48

little star and i don't know why

1:17:50

i don't know what that and what

1:17:53

he has a severe dyslexia right severe

1:17:55

uh... we can't really know

1:17:57

so lately let it know but i think They're

1:18:00

too busy making sugar smacks. But we got

1:18:02

intended. I don't think I want sugar back

1:18:04

in the title No, no reals. They should

1:18:06

have a cereal called sugar sugar. You know,

1:18:08

it was a sugared cubes It was the

1:18:10

honey the cereal companies changed

1:18:12

the nail. There was some government Nazi

1:18:19

Sugars in the world. Oh Paris were buying. We

1:18:21

loved it. I know I'm telling you You

1:18:27

mean Corporate America didn't like the

1:18:29

name sugar pop because people went hey sugar is

1:18:31

bad for you We can't buy this anymore. They

1:18:33

want we'll just change it to smacks a bigger

1:18:35

one World War two my friend Sugar

1:18:44

Lobby has so much blood on their hands. It's

1:18:47

outrageous What? Because they came

1:18:49

in the 80s. They were like fat is

1:18:51

bad fat's terrible fat's awful And really it

1:18:53

wasn't that bad for you and sugar was

1:18:56

killing everyone There's a school of thought

1:18:58

that says you should stay away from

1:19:00

all white powder. Oh, yeah, there is void

1:19:02

white actually cocaine well, that's the

1:19:05

poison and less and less You

1:19:09

want to have fun then you should you know,

1:19:11

what about what about desanex? Decidex,

1:19:14

what is that? Do you use

1:19:16

desanex? What is desanex? But you must

1:19:18

it's foot powder. What powder you use

1:19:22

Every health and beauty aid available to

1:19:24

men don't you really do how many

1:19:26

powders do you do? Do you hold

1:19:28

your sock up? Yes or no? Do

1:19:30

you hold a sock up take the

1:19:32

desanex and shake it into the snow

1:19:34

you take the sock Okay, you

1:19:36

don't hold the debt you take this quarter thing,

1:19:38

right? You put the sock on it

1:19:40

you put the sock on the shirt or in

1:19:42

it upside down then So he

1:19:44

essentially is doing what you just asked and then the

1:19:47

problem then when you put it on it flies all

1:19:49

over your closet So all my clothes are coated with

1:19:51

my jackets have dandruff What

1:19:55

else you use you I

1:19:57

resupp absolutely what about deodorant

1:20:00

What kind of deodorant? It's called

1:20:02

toms. Tom's deodorant? I know what

1:20:04

that is. You say geritol for

1:20:06

healthy blood or whatever the hell

1:20:08

they were? Seritan. Nature is backwards.

1:20:12

Iron for blood. Geritol. That

1:20:16

was a scam. Do you have Warther's butterscotch in your

1:20:18

house right now? No.

1:20:21

I wouldn't blame you. Those are delicious. I don't eat

1:20:23

candy. I think those get a bad

1:20:25

rap. Kids like Warther's for the most part, I think. Kids

1:20:29

like sugar pops. I do too. Can

1:20:32

I start a company where we

1:20:34

bring back sugar pops, frosted flakes

1:20:36

coated in real sugar? Just

1:20:39

go for it. What is your guilty

1:20:41

pleasure? If you could eat whatever you wanted,

1:20:43

I can't eat

1:20:45

that because I'm on special diet. What would you eat?

1:20:50

A giant pile of mashed potatoes, meatloaf with

1:20:52

a lot of gravy. Fair

1:20:54

enough. That's real. Two softball

1:20:56

sized humps of corn. Two

1:21:02

softball sized humps of

1:21:04

corn. You

1:21:06

can't have corn? Too much

1:21:08

butter. That sounds like a good meal. Great.

1:21:11

Mashed potatoes, come on. Meatloaf.

1:21:14

Nothing's better. Do you have your mom's meatloaf recipe?

1:21:17

My sister does. She does? She's

1:21:20

listening right now. Send it to me please. She

1:21:22

sent me a thing saying,

1:21:26

I mentioned the true story of how we had

1:21:28

the young woman who traded her Freddie and the

1:21:30

Dreamers album. She got that and

1:21:32

gave away the Beatles. I

1:21:35

was given by my brother Jim the

1:21:37

album Layla. Without even opening it, I

1:21:39

traded it for Crosby, Stills and Nash,

1:21:41

Four-Away Street. An audio turd, if there

1:21:43

are fellows. John

1:21:47

Mellencamp on this show, when

1:21:50

asked why he didn't do a live album, said,

1:21:52

because Four-Away Street taught him never to do one.

1:21:54

Fair enough. He's since made a very good one

1:21:56

himself. Wasn't there a rumor that Four-Away Street was

1:21:58

recorded at the wrong speed? or something? No, no,

1:22:01

they just had the mics on and the band

1:22:03

was on speed. The

1:22:06

band was probably high at the time. The

1:22:08

point is bad trades can be made. Oh

1:22:11

sure. Now it's time for us to move forward into

1:22:14

the world of sports once again. One

1:22:20

more time. Into the

1:22:22

breach. The baseball team in Maine announced

1:22:24

that it has officially taken the

1:22:27

Guinness World Record for the longest line of whoopie

1:22:30

pies. I had to Google this. Did

1:22:32

you ever add a whoopie pie? No.

1:22:34

The Portland Sea Dogs teamed up with

1:22:37

the Maine Whoopie Pie Festival. They interrupted

1:22:39

it. Wasn't Sea Dog the mascot of

1:22:42

Cap'n Crunch? Yeah. I look here at Christy

1:22:44

and it says Cap'n Crunch the mascot of

1:22:47

Cap'n Crunch? Yeah.

1:22:49

Cap'n Crunch had Sea Dog though. Sea Dog

1:22:51

was just being a wise originally there was

1:22:53

Sea Dog and then before he went to

1:22:56

sea there he also had a rabbit at

1:22:58

his house. Sea Hare. He

1:23:03

fell right into that didn't he? Sea Hare had

1:23:05

a seal named Batooie. Here we go. The classic

1:23:07

whoopie pie. Fluffy,

1:23:13

moist, cocoa cakes sandwiched

1:23:15

together with a creamy marshmallow fluff filling.

1:23:17

Pretty good. Yeah. They're good. It

1:23:20

looks like a big Oreo meets a frisbee kind of. Yeah.

1:23:22

I can't believe you never had one. I don't like marshmallows

1:23:24

except for the horse. And you don't like coconut either. No.

1:23:26

Hate it. There's coconut and a

1:23:28

whoopie pie? Yeah. I think so. Not

1:23:30

the recipe here. Whoopie Pie had a celebrity

1:23:33

endorser for a while. Ted Danson. He

1:23:35

loved that whoopie pie. Very funny. He

1:23:38

put his face right in that whoopie pie. Oh yeah. You couldn't

1:23:40

tell it was him though. Well. There

1:23:42

was that one night. Yeah. What was he

1:23:44

thinking when he did that? You

1:23:47

think sometimes he wakes up at 3 a.m.

1:23:49

and goes, oh, I really did that? Yeah.

1:23:51

You know, that'll be the second paragraph

1:23:54

of his obit. That's the worst thing

1:23:56

knowing all the great things he did.

1:23:58

And that's going to be in there. You know what?

1:24:00

We'll have the rest of this record when we come

1:24:02

back. Alright.

1:24:04

So this is the, okay, for the record. We've

1:24:07

run out of time. Okay, well we have more time. Coming

1:24:09

up we have bootlegging in the world

1:24:12

of sex toys. Are you kidding me? What?

1:24:15

Bootlegging. Oh, bootlegging. You

1:24:18

said, I swear, you said bootlegging. Bootlegging,

1:24:22

something, the sidekick of

1:24:25

Sea Dog and Sea Hair and Bootleg

1:24:27

and Captain Crunch and Patooie. This

1:24:29

is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks for

1:24:32

listening to the Bob and Tom Show this morning. Get

1:24:34

a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

1:24:39

Josh with Cool Windows. Welcome

1:24:42

back to the Bob and Tom Show. Kristy

1:24:45

Lee at the news desk. Yes, sir. There's

1:24:48

Ace Cosby. Hey. I'm

1:24:50

Chick McGee. Pat Godwin is under the weather.

1:24:52

There's Josh Arnold. Hope you get

1:24:54

better soon, Patty. And here's Tom.

1:24:58

You know, two days ago it was the anniversary

1:25:00

of The Breakfast Club. It

1:25:02

was Saturday, March 24, 1984. Oh,

1:25:05

when they actually spent the day in detention. They all

1:25:07

met for detention. Oh, I was like, wait a minute, we

1:25:09

don't have a breakfast club here, do we? March 24. I

1:25:12

really like that movie. I do too. I

1:25:14

liked it a lot more than I should have. I

1:25:16

think that the theme song to that is... Hey,

1:25:19

hey, hey, hey! That's in my top 10 favorite

1:25:21

songs of all time. Yeah, that is one of

1:25:23

the... As soon

1:25:25

as you hear that, you identify with

1:25:27

the movie. Yeah. Simple Minds, great song.

1:25:29

Hey, hey, hey! I think, I believe

1:25:32

it's parenthetical, don't you? And then Forget

1:25:34

About Me. That's exactly right. Oh, I

1:25:36

love those complicated parenthetical. Is there a

1:25:38

compilation of... Just

1:25:41

parenthetical songs that have parenthesis in them? That'd

1:25:44

be fun. Judy, Parenne. In

1:25:47

Disguise. Yes, yes. That's what you

1:25:49

are. Judy, In Disguise. That's also one of my favorites.

1:25:51

I love that. That's what you

1:25:53

are. Lemonade Pie. Lemonade Pie.

1:25:56

Are you bleeding? I am bleeding. Perfect blend of pop

1:25:58

and psychedelica. Is that

1:26:00

a word? I don't know, but I like it.

1:26:02

I just remember a friend of mine getting kicked

1:26:05

out of English class because of that

1:26:07

song. Why? Which

1:26:09

class? Alan Kichler was his name.

1:26:11

Oh, wow. And Jewish much. He

1:26:14

was kicked out of the class

1:26:17

because it was a class in

1:26:19

Shakespeare. Josh, I'll let you enjoy this. Okay.

1:26:22

And the professor was going, so and so in disguise, I

1:26:24

wrote it in disguise, and then it was in disguise. Alan

1:26:27

goes, and Judy in disguise,

1:26:30

out. I feel like the

1:26:32

teacher would have been very good. Mr.

1:26:36

Malin, humorless. That's a shame. Because

1:26:39

Shakespeare wasn't humorless. I thought

1:26:41

you hated Shakespeare. Oh, I

1:26:43

do, but I mean. You had to take it. Why

1:26:46

do you hate Shakespeare? That's

1:26:49

too complicated. I

1:26:51

don't care. It looks like the

1:26:54

most famous rock and roll

1:26:56

song with parentheses in the title, I

1:26:59

Will Die on This Hill. It's only

1:27:01

rock and roll, Perrin, but I like it.

1:27:03

Ah, yeah. That's a good one. Rolling

1:27:05

Stones. Yeah, a lesser song. Who did Judy

1:27:07

in Disguise again? Yo. John

1:27:10

Fred and his Playboy Band. That's

1:27:12

it. Yeah. So amazing. Was it

1:27:14

John Fred and the Playboy Band? I think it was.

1:27:16

John Fred. What

1:27:19

would your- John Fred and his Playboy Band.

1:27:21

Okay, very good. Very Fred? No,

1:27:23

I couldn't remember, but I remember the Playboy Band. Okay,

1:27:26

now we were in the middle of a world record, if

1:27:28

I'm not mistaken. Otis

1:27:30

Ridding. Ridding? Ridding? Ridding.

1:27:33

Lesser. Lesser. No, no.

1:27:37

Hello? Otis Ridding is a company that gets rid

1:27:39

of fleas, I hear God. No, no, this is

1:27:41

Otis Ridding with an I. You

1:27:44

say you don't want an elevator anymore? We're

1:27:46

Otis Ridding. No, no. No, no.

1:27:48

One with an E is very good. I agree, but I'm

1:27:51

also available. Not bad. I

1:27:53

admittedly a little pitchy, but

1:27:55

Otis Ridding. I did it again!

1:27:57

Otis Ridding. sitting

1:28:00

on the dock of the bay. Sure, yeah. Sitting

1:28:03

on Parenne, the dock of the bay. Yeah.

1:28:06

This is fascinating. Now

1:28:08

I'm doing it like he does. Carole

1:28:10

King, Parenne, you make me feel like close

1:28:13

Parenne. Unnatural woman. You can also,

1:28:15

we can also have a

1:28:18

compilation of songs that are kind of

1:28:20

two songs in one with a slash

1:28:22

between them. You mean like where one song

1:28:25

runs into the other one? Yeah, like Funeral for a Friend,

1:28:28

Love Lies Bleeding, I believe there's a slash in between

1:28:30

those two. Well, that journey song Lights

1:28:32

runs into some other. Yeah, The King's

1:28:34

Switching to Glide. Yeah, Beat Goes On. Beat

1:28:37

Goes On, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

1:28:42

Beat, Beat, Beat, Beat!

1:28:45

Yeah, you gotta say whoa, whoa. Wasn't

1:28:50

he married to like, uh... Chrissy Heine?

1:28:53

Chrissy Heine is a size 15 foot. Whoa.

1:28:56

True story. The

1:28:58

fetishes take no completely pause.

1:29:01

It's impossible to knock her. Now,

1:29:09

are there songs that are all parentheses? Oh,

1:29:11

God. Well,

1:29:14

and they wouldn't have a title, would they?

1:29:16

Or no. What? That

1:29:19

would be weird. Okay, sorry. Could we get

1:29:21

back to our world record? Where were we? Stupid

1:29:24

World Record. Baseball

1:29:26

team in Maine announced it's officially taken the

1:29:28

Guinness World Record for the longest line of

1:29:30

whoopee pies, the Portland Sea Dogs teamed up

1:29:33

with the Maine Whoopee Pie Festival,

1:29:35

I always wanted to go to Maine and I

1:29:37

love whoopee pies, and

1:29:39

Wicked Whoopees to attempt the record for the longest

1:29:42

line of whoopee pies in June of last year,

1:29:44

but the process of having

1:29:46

it verified at a Guinness World Record

1:29:48

took several months. The

1:29:50

team said the official certificate will be

1:29:53

presented to the team tonight. Outsideing.

1:29:55

2,121 whoopee pies were arranged in a... straight

1:30:00

line before being reorganized

1:30:03

into an image of a massive whoopee

1:30:06

pie. Sometimes pie is bad.

1:30:09

And served to attendees of the

1:30:11

baseball team's game. It

1:30:13

would be really cool if

1:30:16

they had a special handout

1:30:18

tonight. Yeah? Whoopee

1:30:20

cushions. Oh! Celebrating the

1:30:23

whoopee pie. Everybody would sit down. That's an effective whoopee cushion

1:30:25

right there. That's an effective whoopee

1:30:27

cushion right there. A little water in that. Somebody held

1:30:29

it with pudding. Sounded like there was Vaseline in there.

1:30:31

Yeah. Real running. Okay.

1:30:34

Sorry. That's actually the

1:30:36

sound of a whale. It

1:30:44

is. And not farting. A

1:30:46

whale speaking. Trying to talk. Yeah. To

1:30:49

the trainer. Okay. Oh, what

1:30:51

is that sports? That's sports, Daddy. Okay. Thank

1:30:54

you very much. Thank you, bye-bye. Bye-bye.

1:30:57

Where do you go whenever you do? Always

1:30:59

be a good sport. Kristy. Bullies

1:31:02

in the news. Bullies in the news. A

1:31:06

study spanning five decades has found that

1:31:08

playground bullies are

1:31:11

more likely to earn more money in middle

1:31:13

age. Really? Let's not encourage

1:31:15

that. No. The cool

1:31:17

thing about this study.

1:31:20

Yeah? Is funded by

1:31:22

other guys' lunch money. Can

1:31:26

we fact check this somehow? Researchers

1:31:28

at the University of Essex assessed

1:31:31

children when they were 10 years old in 1980, matched

1:31:35

it to their lives at the age of 46 in 2016. So

1:31:38

I guess assertiveness or something like that. Probably, yeah.

1:31:40

I know a guy's a dick when he's in

1:31:42

the eighth grade. He stays a dick and becomes

1:31:44

your boss. Maybe he doesn't stay a dick per

1:31:46

se. He turns that

1:31:49

into assertiveness. Yes. So we're

1:31:51

very good at sales, if you will. They

1:31:53

found that children... We've got a sales meeting three o'clock sharp at

1:31:55

the flagpole. I'm going to kick your ass. bond

1:32:00

or I'm gonna kick your ass. Wasn't that the worst

1:32:02

thing ever when stuff like that would happen and you

1:32:04

have to wait all day? I was

1:32:06

never involved in anything like that. You were. I

1:32:08

think that happened once or twice. A great

1:32:11

movie, 3 O'Clock High. 3 O'Clock High is

1:32:13

a magnificent movie. Casey's Samosco or whatever? Casey's,

1:32:15

yeah, it's about a fight gonna happen at

1:32:17

3 O'Clock High. 3 O'Clock High. That's

1:32:19

a good high school flick. Wow. There's

1:32:21

not gonna be any fight today! And then somebody punches them right in

1:32:23

the face. They found that children

1:32:25

who displayed aggressive behavior at school were more

1:32:27

likely to earn more money, have

1:32:30

higher job satisfaction, and

1:32:32

be in more desirable

1:32:34

jobs. Researchers caution that

1:32:36

their findings do not mean that parents

1:32:38

should encourage their kids to misbehave. No

1:32:40

way! Yeah. You wanna be a success?

1:32:43

Be a prick. Beat up your fellow classmates. Thank

1:32:46

goodness. So

1:32:50

many anti-bullying campaigns out there doing

1:32:52

good stuff. Yes, absolutely. But today

1:32:54

now, digital bullying, brutal. It's reached

1:32:56

a new level of yes. Yeah.

1:33:00

Brutal. Brutal, brutal. Godspeed,

1:33:02

all you youngins out there. A

1:33:04

New York City sex toy manufacturer

1:33:06

is accused of bootlegging another company's

1:33:08

designs. In a complaint

1:33:10

filed in US District Court in Arizona,

1:33:13

Bad Dragon Enterprises says

1:33:16

its sculptural products have been

1:33:18

illegally copied by a company

1:33:20

known as SinSaint. SinSaint

1:33:23

advertises its toys as ethically

1:33:26

manufactured in Brooklyn, USA. Bad

1:33:29

Dragon alleges that SinSaint has been

1:33:31

selling duplicates of 13 of

1:33:34

its fantasy-themed dildos. Oh,

1:33:36

yes. Including Spritz the Sea

1:33:39

Dragon. Remember we looked at these

1:33:41

up. It's just weird. Tyson the

1:33:43

Water Buffalo. Kelzan

1:33:45

the Ice Dragon. And

1:33:47

Virgil the Drippy Dragon. Ew. These

1:33:50

are... These are... Dildos.

1:33:52

That's right. I'm Virgil the

1:33:54

Drippy Dragon. How are you? Please wipe your nose,

1:33:56

Virgil. Bad Dragon is seeking

1:33:59

an order that prohibits... in Saint from

1:34:01

continuing any further there's

1:34:35

a whole fantasy shout game

1:34:40

of thrones certainly imprinted

1:34:43

on something yeah how do you know

1:34:45

what a dragon the genitalia

1:34:47

the dragon look well it's all in

1:34:49

your imagination and decided yeah

1:34:51

i think that they're copying the same yeah what

1:34:55

happened to the good old days when it was hit

1:34:58

down to earth with good old donkey dick you

1:35:12

don't have to have a unicorn unicorn

1:35:15

long i don't think ever

1:35:19

mind cosplay anime craze

1:35:21

it's fantasy it is

1:35:24

it's huge girls want the some

1:35:27

want the old dragon the old wizard i saw

1:35:29

one and i saw one of the on the

1:35:31

inner of the day it's called the hibachi i'm

1:35:34

not sure what that does but they get

1:35:36

used charcoal they haven't recalled that yet

1:35:42

okay uh well good luck

1:35:44

to everybody in the lawsuit and have

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fun let

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Simply Safe. Okay, Christy

1:37:09

I googled Spritz the Sea

1:37:11

Dragon. This

1:37:13

is like buying a jacket online. What

1:37:16

does that mean? You choose your color. There

1:37:18

is a quote-unquote sizing tool.

1:37:21

I'm not kidding. Do you fit it

1:37:23

over your? This is really complicated

1:37:28

and it looks like it's I'll

1:37:31

be delicate here. Multi

1:37:34

orifice friendly. I guess it'd be the

1:37:36

best way to say this. I see.

1:37:38

Multi orifice friendly. And

1:37:40

there's a color code and a color wheel.

1:37:42

This is a really serious

1:37:44

business. I had no idea

1:37:46

this was out there. Once again,

1:37:49

from Bad Dragon. Wow. Well

1:37:52

worth a look. Just for the amusement

1:37:55

of it. Coming up speaking of

1:37:57

amusing, we have bears in

1:37:59

the news. in a fun way. We

1:38:01

have astronaut news, Kate

1:38:03

Winslet, the very fine actress, and Titanic

1:38:06

news, and good news about doggies and

1:38:08

bad news about what happens if you pee your pants

1:38:10

on the price is right. This is The Bob and

1:38:12

Tom Show. Welcome

1:38:16

back to The Bob and Tom Show. Hello,

1:38:19

hello, hello. We've talked about everything

1:38:21

and then some. I like it.

1:38:23

Goodness. It's been a good all

1:38:25

of it. Good dialogue. Yeah,

1:38:27

we're actually having conversation. It's really nice. You

1:38:30

are? Not

1:38:34

enough talking with people these days, is there? No, talking

1:38:36

at. That's right. Yeah, a

1:38:38

lot of talking at people, Tom. How do you

1:38:41

feel about that? Well, I

1:38:43

prepared some notes. I'd like

1:38:46

to, after yesterday's show, Josh requested his own

1:38:48

lectern in the video. That's right. So he

1:38:50

could stand up and pontificate. It would be

1:38:52

good because then you can do your dancing

1:38:54

a little easier. You wouldn't have to stand

1:38:56

up. I do like

1:38:58

the subtle rug. It's

1:39:00

amazing the oddball influences that we

1:39:03

get people. I'm sure there are people who explored

1:39:06

doing the Freddie yesterday on

1:39:08

the Internet. I bet

1:39:10

there's not. And you're welcome. I always love the guy with

1:39:12

the shades and the blonde hair in that band. It just

1:39:14

looks so cool. I wanted to be that guy. In

1:39:17

Freddie and the Dreamers. This is interesting. I got a

1:39:19

letter from a guy that said, Hey,

1:39:23

Josh turned me on to Paul Cawthon. You

1:39:26

turned me on to Paul Cawthon. Yeah. I wish I

1:39:28

could go see one of his shows. You can. Well,

1:39:30

unless it's on a school night, I can't go.

1:39:33

You're not in jail anymore. You can go anywhere

1:39:35

you want. That's right. That's right. By myself this

1:39:37

week, I can do whatever I want. That's right.

1:39:39

I may go to another movie. Wow. You know

1:39:41

what I'm not going to do today? What? Go

1:39:43

to lunch with Chick. The thing we've got planned

1:39:45

for 10 days. Yeah, man. I had the wrong

1:39:47

day. I've apologized. I don't know what else to

1:39:49

do. I made

1:39:52

a mistake. I'm sorry. I'm not busy. I

1:39:54

could have lunch with him. I've already made

1:39:56

other arrangements. I've not had lunch with him

1:39:58

in eight years. We could have a team build. 8 years?

1:40:00

Yeah, why don't you take us all to lunch? There you

1:40:02

go. Why don't you all go to lunch

1:40:04

without me? How does that

1:40:06

sound? That sounds good. Oh,

1:40:09

I knew that would be the answer. Yeah,

1:40:11

I already have made an alternate plan. Have

1:40:13

you? Already? Yeah. Wow. Yeah,

1:40:16

I don't like to be bummed myself.

1:40:18

Well, you know what? No. I start

1:40:20

hearing things. Well, move forward here. You

1:40:22

had Mark spend the night last night because you were scared. So

1:40:25

I'm mad at me. He

1:40:29

could be the little spoon. You know that. I'm

1:40:31

mad at me. Will you be if tonight

1:40:33

while you're home alone, you hear the doorbell

1:40:36

rings and you see that I have

1:40:38

sent you a prostitute? Hey,

1:40:44

mister. Hope she likes dogs.

1:40:47

They're here to be right there at the front door. At

1:40:52

least it would be a female prostitute, right?

1:40:54

Absolutely. Yeah, weird. I wouldn't

1:40:56

be mad at all. Oh, okay. All

1:40:59

right. All right, buddy. Thank you. Why

1:41:02

don't you go around the room and pick the attributes

1:41:05

of a prostitute. We'd all like a shoe start. No.

1:41:11

Not that. No. I was sort of hoping.

1:41:14

Play the music, idiot. That's a all-bame joke

1:41:16

of the day. Good

1:41:20

God. That

1:41:22

was a sub-tuple. Well, you're in

1:41:25

luck, Ace. Most prostitutes have mouths.

1:41:29

I was really hoping that you would

1:41:31

sense that that was more or less a rhetorical question.

1:41:33

Or maybe you want a redhead. If

1:41:37

you'd asked me that I would have fended it off as I often

1:41:40

do. It was so fast.

1:41:43

All right. Well,

1:41:46

what do you... Mouth. Mouth.

1:41:48

Mouth. Okay.

1:41:50

All right. Well, that actually leads

1:41:53

to a story in the news later. Awesome

1:41:56

place. Christie. I'm

1:42:00

coming to a man's need, it's all I'm hurting but

1:42:02

it's just so freaky I'm still

1:42:04

getting in the girl's ass and I even

1:42:07

got my whole dad I hurt you, you

1:42:09

still can't do it all Oh

1:42:12

no, who's the baby? I do the

1:42:14

huff, huff What is that

1:42:16

song where you, uh, I wanna wash my

1:42:18

hair? Thomas, oh

1:42:20

no, that's, uh, somebody's watching me Oh Rockwell,

1:42:23

yeah, Rockwell, that's a good song I'm afraid

1:42:25

to wash my hair That's just,

1:42:27

that is a good song Oh no,

1:42:29

it's uh... And is that Michael Jackson and

1:42:31

the Bad Guys? Yeah, it is, and that's uh, Barry Gordy's

1:42:33

son, I believe Is that

1:42:35

right? This guy

1:42:39

Rockwell? And

1:42:42

I have no privacy What? And

1:42:45

I have no privacy Always

1:42:48

makes the rounds in Halloween Yeah Now

1:42:51

it's the time to check in with Christy Leifin I

1:42:54

wanna hear somebody wash my hair Well,

1:42:56

let us make 20 minutes A long song,

1:42:59

I want you to have it Jason Fonda will

1:43:01

get back to it later I'm afraid he's gonna

1:43:03

wash my hair Um, actually,

1:43:05

I deleted that story, I'm

1:43:07

sorry Oh, I was gonna say I have nothing that referred

1:43:09

to you Yeah, no, it's awful Well,

1:43:12

this kinda really does It's never stopped you

1:43:14

before No, no, trust me, remember the thing

1:43:16

I said I couldn't talk about earlier? This

1:43:19

is of a similar ilk Ah,

1:43:22

recent survey of 2,000 adults revealed 67% of

1:43:24

Americans Yeah

1:43:26

Feel guilty when dining out

1:43:29

I don't get this at all In today's economic

1:43:31

climate, with budgets tighter than ever The simple

1:43:34

act of eating out has become a source

1:43:36

of stress for many Come on,

1:43:38

enjoy yourself, for God's sake I have some

1:43:40

of this Really? I do, yeah Yeah,

1:43:43

3 fourths of Americans believe that adults should be allowed to order

1:43:45

from the kids' menu I do that However,

1:43:47

only 1 in 5 have been brave enough to do so

1:43:50

Why do you do that? I do it in a

1:43:52

drive-thru Cause I don't eat that much Nothing

1:43:55

wrong with that There should be And

1:43:58

I wish I could say I don't want the toy bag.

1:44:00

There should be some sort of

1:44:02

law that you if you order kids

1:44:04

choice for a child. No! No! You're

1:44:06

allowed to... Josh, this is

1:44:09

interesting that I have

1:44:11

guilt for... No, no, no, that you order from the kids

1:44:13

menu. Oh, I don't.

1:44:17

And you said you order... All right, all right. You just said you

1:44:19

order, you like to order from the kids menu. I

1:44:21

will if I... I

1:44:24

have ordered a meal and a kids

1:44:26

meal and eaten both. So

1:44:29

it's like a little bun. It's like a meal

1:44:31

and a half. But I do, I would love

1:44:33

it and I would do this. I don't know

1:44:35

that many would but when I go

1:44:37

to McDonald's and I get like a grown

1:44:39

man's value meal. Right. Serve

1:44:42

it to me in a happy meal box.

1:44:44

Oh, I would love that. Okay. Maybe since

1:44:46

I'm a grown up shape it like a

1:44:48

briefcase. Oh, that'd be cute. That's a great

1:44:50

idea. That is a great idea. That is

1:44:52

funny. Wouldn't it be fun to walk out?

1:44:54

I think it's fun to walk out with a happy meal

1:44:56

box. A briefcase of food? Yeah. That's

1:44:59

why Castle had the the grave case for a while.

1:45:01

Oh, they still do. Oh, yes. Yeah, I don't know

1:45:03

why I said for a while. But

1:45:05

the essence of the story is people would just say

1:45:07

67% are guilty when dining out. I

1:45:10

have. You guys don't have a little bit of

1:45:12

that? A little bit. I do. No, I should

1:45:14

have eaten what I have at home. I shouldn't

1:45:16

have waited. Not at all. 30 dollars. Yes. I

1:45:18

worked in a restaurant for a long time so

1:45:20

I know how I feel

1:45:22

like I'm supporting the great the

1:45:25

staff and the waiter, the waitress, the people

1:45:27

that are working there. I'm supporting them. How

1:45:29

much food do you toss every week? Not

1:45:31

much because I'm so... my therapist told me

1:45:34

only yesterday that I have an

1:45:37

overreactive sense of responsibility. That

1:45:40

doesn't show around here. Yeah, certainly

1:45:42

lost on us. What the hell?

1:45:45

I don't agree with you about anything but I'm going

1:45:47

to agree on that. So I feel guilty for things

1:45:49

that I shouldn't feel guilty for and that's one of

1:45:52

them. Eating restaurants

1:45:54

when I should be making food at home. Why? I

1:45:57

don't know. We're working on it. That's stupid. You're supporting the whole

1:45:59

thing. hard-working people in

1:46:01

residence. Ladies and gentlemen, another

1:46:04

episode of Tom Griswold Therapist.

1:46:08

Why do you do that? That's stupid! I'd be

1:46:10

saving you a lot of trouble. In fact, I'd

1:46:12

take you to lunch. You

1:46:14

have an opening! I tell you what, we've got

1:46:16

another 45 minutes of the session, or we can

1:46:19

drive down the street and get a hell of a nice lunch. I

1:46:21

hear that's a meatloaf special. I'm in for two. They

1:46:25

feel guilty eating a what? I

1:46:28

don't understand it either. I do, but... I

1:46:31

mean, actually I do. I

1:46:33

have a different weird feeling. I've told you

1:46:36

this before. Whenever I go to a fancy

1:46:38

restaurant, I'd rather be working there than eating

1:46:40

there. What?

1:46:43

Yeah, I used to... I loved working in a restaurant. Did you

1:46:45

ever work in a restaurant? You worked at a Harvey's. No, I

1:46:47

worked in fast food. I loved

1:46:49

working in a restaurant. Well, we owned a restaurant, so

1:46:51

that kind of I did. It

1:46:54

was kind of fancy. I mean, we had a wine list and stuff. Did

1:46:56

you like going there and working? I thought it

1:46:58

was... Yeah, it was okay. I loved working

1:47:00

in a restaurant. Great parties, great

1:47:02

people, a lot of fun. But,

1:47:05

yeah, whenever I go to a restaurant, I was thinking, rather

1:47:07

than sitting talking to these people, I'd rather be back there doing the

1:47:09

dishes. Oh, yeah, sometimes you do go,

1:47:11

oh man, you can tell when a restaurant has a

1:47:14

really... like, staff that likes each other. Yeah, because you

1:47:16

hear them, and you're like, oh, this is a cool

1:47:18

place. It does remind you of those old times.

1:47:21

You don't get to congratulate the cooks enough, because

1:47:23

I was a cook at a restaurant. I

1:47:25

do try to do that. You just want to go, hey, this

1:47:27

is... I wish I could walk back to you. That was terrific.

1:47:29

How did you do that? Really? Yeah.

1:47:31

You don't feel that way, Chet? No. Every

1:47:34

now and then, if I didn't care for

1:47:36

my meal, I'll go back, open

1:47:38

the door to the kitchen, and go...

1:47:41

Thumbs down, fart noise. Thumbs down, fart noise. Well, since you

1:47:44

are primarily at home, do you just say that to the

1:47:46

DoorDash guy? Please go back to the place and tell the

1:47:48

chef you didn't know. No, I never do anything with the

1:47:50

DoorDash guy. He has

1:47:52

far too much access to anything he's

1:47:54

delivered to my home. I

1:47:57

am on the up and up with the DoorDash guy. in

1:48:00

a restaurant the other night. We were having

1:48:02

a nice quiet evening, nice meal and the

1:48:04

staff were... Wait, wait, wait, wait. I still

1:48:07

suffer once again. It was a quiet meal and you were

1:48:09

there? Yes. My husband and I.

1:48:11

Did you go to the dentist or something? It was

1:48:13

quiet because the staff was talking so much. Were

1:48:15

you mad? I didn't have a conversation. When's the last time

1:48:17

you fought with your husband? I never fought with my husband.

1:48:19

I don't believe you. Was that you ever once a night?

1:48:23

What? What? Are we going to have a fight

1:48:26

at four o'clock? Is that what you're saying? I

1:48:29

don't believe anything. So Tom, sorry. What

1:48:31

happened to your... But the whole

1:48:33

staff was standing around the

1:48:35

hostess desk. Oh, how dare

1:48:37

they? No, wasn't that kind of rude though?

1:48:40

I'm just glad. It is rude of you to say something. I wouldn't like to

1:48:42

point out here. I'm just glad. You've gone

1:48:44

back in the kitchen and... Having

1:48:47

worked at a restaurant for many years, I'm just glad

1:48:49

that the people who are standing

1:48:51

at front, the hostess desk, I'm glad they're

1:48:53

not air traffic controllers because the planes would

1:48:55

never land. That's... Yeah. You're nervous that you

1:48:57

walk into a restaurant, there's

1:49:00

like 40 empty tables and they look at that

1:49:02

form and they go back and forth, call the

1:49:04

manager. Well, I think

1:49:07

we can seat them in table 42 and then

1:49:09

you eat there, you're done. No one has entered

1:49:11

the restaurant. It's still completely empty. Give

1:49:13

them a break. I used to