0:00

I went through this internal bottle

0:02

of. I. Can just pretend I'm

0:04

the same person and short as I

0:06

always have. I can just pretend and

0:09

all. I could just be really real.

0:11

And whatever unfolds from that is

0:13

going on. Fold I just resisted,

0:16

resisted, resisted what. I fully just

0:18

admitted what was true for me.

0:20

That's when it felt like the

0:22

past opened up. Welcome

0:33

back to the Boss Be podcast All right You

0:35

won't be seen the length of this episode or

0:37

like a war on it does not lead who

0:39

he you she try to book Joe Rogan know

0:41

I am not trying to become Joe Rogan. Know.

0:44

So I did a live podcast recording with

0:46

two of my closest friends in Austin Alix

0:48

on mail and it was so much fun!

0:51

So Alex has been on his podcast on.

0:53

She launched her own podcast called it's a

0:55

Great Season and to launch a podcast we

0:57

wanted to get together and pace and we

1:00

did a really small get together in Austin

1:02

We did live podcast. Either way if you

1:04

want more of these live podcast the me

1:06

let me know because I last time I

1:09

was really really small. If you like thirty

1:11

people I think all in the room that

1:13

we normally. Would do the live podcast

1:15

in and we just kept it so

1:17

real and we got into every single

1:19

topic you can imagine from business is

1:22

motherhood, sex, you name it. We went

1:24

there and it was honestly like just

1:26

having wine was my best friends and

1:28

a bunch of amazing people in the

1:30

room. We summarize, forgot we were podcasting

1:32

it and so I asked her hey

1:34

can I put this on my podcast

1:36

to because it was so good So

1:38

we did two segments, we did actual

1:40

podcasts and then we did a segment

1:42

cold Wind Down which. Is a Friday episode

1:44

that she releases. so I've actually stitch the two

1:47

of them together for this one episode. So I

1:49

thought you know what? this could be so good?

1:51

If you're going on a long drive or a

1:53

long walk you need a bit of a like

1:55

energy replace. It would be a long one for

1:57

you to enjoy. So let me know you think

1:59

about. One and let me know a

2:01

thing but the other to hit. Definitely. we

2:03

went. balance you say not as if anything

2:05

on the we we went there. I hope

2:08

you enjoy it and let's see more of

2:10

these in his a month. I'm sorry. I.

2:16

Thought it library on brand so and runs

2:18

logo on brand civilly. Very elegant smells, the

2:20

oldest feminine be at you like a mermaid

2:22

right now in the best kind of way

2:25

and I'm just comes up sleep pink ping

2:27

that call I'm going go for yeah no

2:29

thanks go he has a bases and baby

2:31

it's crazy then say well code think you're

2:34

joining me I'm going to start with the

2:36

question by been us so many times. Have.

2:39

We created a cult. Do we

2:41

all live together in a Colts?

2:45

I think the fact that when we

2:47

all came here tonight we said oh

2:49

my god the whole coat is here.

2:52

Leads me to believe that yes we

2:55

are indeed an occult. Be the best

2:57

buy Pease last. Like

3:00

the Escape and is a scam kind

3:02

joking about the cold but I do

3:04

that we have a really unusual sat

3:07

up as friends and that we all

3:09

live round the corner from each other.

3:11

We have the Village so naturally I

3:13

feel like you are. More. Than

3:15

one of the key recruiters into this.

3:17

I'll take it. Taught me about the

3:19

vision with this purpose for was his

3:21

intention. Tension lad like, okay through all

3:24

began on my twenty eighth birthday and

3:26

away when Alexi Panels has been on

3:28

my podcast. Sometimes she gave my house

3:30

I met Day and she was like

3:32

we just put a deposit down on

3:34

some land in Austin and me being

3:36

me I was like I want to

3:38

do not feel so I put this

3:40

up on that are not even telling

3:43

Steven and I didn't think we're going.

3:45

On a moving off know like this

3:47

we agree investment sound like good investment

3:49

and then covert op everyone like worry

3:52

to leave so I was like well

3:54

a great news for building have any

3:56

exercise and I literally when it happened

3:58

that organically and. Then we saw

4:01

a chatting. And you

4:03

decided you were going to move to the

4:05

same neighborhood. And then, well, I found it

4:07

a habit. We knew that we were moving

4:09

to Austin. But. I told

4:12

Natalie. Wig. And we're looking

4:14

for houses in Austin and she says as a house

4:16

around the corner from me this up right now why

4:18

don't I go view it for you to remember yeah

4:20

but I don't think I'd like knew it was up

4:22

I think actually like look to see that was onion

4:24

found one in the yeah design and if I agree

4:27

yeah I would like I don't just know about it.

4:29

I'm like okay she gets a limb right beside me

4:31

so that I was I. View it.

4:35

As I. Was in the area but I will

4:37

them but I knew I I didn't know

4:39

that I've been recruited into a cult though.

4:41

I just thought not least on is great

4:43

houses in Austin and she's gonna go get

4:45

frozen demonstrates and I trust her. If she

4:48

says she would take it than I would

4:50

take it. So I'm gonna do not actually

4:52

viewed your house when he finally medically had

4:54

the earth that guy levels of friendship trough

4:56

Yeah okay yeah I didn't even ask. The

4:58

videos I don't remember have even be much

5:00

of of involved process or maybe being like

5:03

all closer I'm be saying I would take

5:05

this. Is it was made? Yeah and I

5:07

was like that's all any the true true.

5:09

I like this and at us. So we

5:11

were living together in Miami of the time.

5:13

Yeah and then you find out you're having

5:16

Sky News and. Your now

5:18

husbands who wasn't living in

5:20

Miami so you left me.

5:23

Last me two years off, then.

5:25

Well I think I knew that it would

5:27

only be a matter of time before you

5:29

also got pregnant. I mean to us and

5:32

prayers you already feel like have a feeling

5:34

you had no idea you were going to

5:36

get pregnant. Ionizer my prom wasn't get pregnant

5:38

of like another yeah she manifested the thought

5:40

oh my god is a glitch laid I

5:42

mean we've been together all over the world

5:44

is in on. I was like we're moving

5:46

to Austin. I didn't feel like I'm leaving

5:48

you. I was just like this is the

5:50

next chapter by the way to leave you

5:52

know I was like oh go to Tie

5:55

you'll find Ever Fell. I never felt like

5:57

it was devised the skids. I mean, I'm

5:59

not going to. The new to the whole

6:01

thing clear came she says I had a

6:03

similar thing and that mean Jake them found

6:05

a house in Austin and we were like

6:07

the found this house and Austan at this

6:09

point I'm pregnant I just I didn't plan

6:11

on getting pregnant Hello the story than episode

6:13

wants em but we will it will clean

6:15

off Then we found this house and we

6:17

sent you the house and you will like.

6:21

You. So diplomatic about i come on how

6:23

you phrase it be like i love that

6:25

for you guys and it's a bit far

6:27

away. Like a twenty

6:29

minute drive. By the way, too far. Yeah, yeah,

6:31

yeah and you were right. you will I would

6:33

a baby. You're not gonna want to get in

6:35

the car and like modest room. Yeah it's a

6:37

fast. says. Is how it came to

6:40

bay and like we're gonna look for

6:42

houses in the neighborhood that are within

6:44

walking distance. I'm going to be them

6:46

for you. How does that sound? Yeah

6:48

and it will it she two doors

6:50

away. Sneak on that irresistible off a

6:52

wave of the we should talk about

6:54

the next hour. Oh yeah. so we

6:56

we just built a house, join a

6:58

public utility or now us, We just

7:00

built houses next week. Killer from the

7:02

neck. There were negligee always our fanbase.

7:04

we fully shower events we know dependent

7:06

when you go to public among new.

7:08

But. To the movie was released early and Steve

7:10

knew they were like oh great weren't even place

7:12

awoke to you guys now through being closer is

7:15

gray up and will install the logs. I just

7:17

way better than Cod any. is he now particular

7:19

in your son? he's the Garcia. It's funny because

7:21

when I grew up like I grew up in

7:23

that kind environment I'm sure you guys to to

7:26

I you just played outside with your friends and

7:28

you walk in and out of neighbors' houses that

7:30

are member being old enough to move on. Think

7:32

why was you live somewhere like this? Why not

7:35

live in a city? it's way more fun and

7:37

then you have babies. You're like oh no yeah

7:39

the hundred my along Yeah, I get it. I

7:41

got parents really did get more right than we

7:43

like to think Only one and I walk all

7:46

the time and will like. East. Despite

7:48

our neighborhood. Me

7:51

and them and also like if we were

7:53

in our twenties as would have been our

7:56

worst nightmare. Yeah you know? yeah Twenty Euro

7:58

Me is dying on the and. The

8:00

idol suburbias where dreams once die. Yeah,

8:02

And I'm like, I'm like, yeah and.

8:04

So greatly mean I. Can. Read

8:07

on, it's you, the baby and on your life.

8:10

Isn't great a know why you have any one in

8:12

my mid twenties like living that life is listening to

8:14

this of be like. They. Don't know

8:16

anything short lives do they? Feel

8:19

like okay I'm know and I'm not on

8:21

take soccer talk about this align our should

8:23

be but I'm just not cool enough that

8:25

and but like I feel like the rule

8:27

into like whole since I saw scale era

8:29

how they yeah I think we're in who

8:31

he is adjourned the can you confirm or

8:33

deny we have any John the spaghetti most

8:35

the. Hurting a lot of urgency is

8:37

the own kind of. Yeah.

8:42

Phillippe I will be a photo of

8:44

the of all my friends in the

8:46

proper doing what the same thing on

8:48

how to cope with. Our

8:52

know I see in a call We were. Not

8:57

the cones and a word other words

8:59

as I got ya I could feige

9:01

and the as being into com you

9:03

invite be ah okay I like this

9:05

living I think I think post pandemic.

9:07

everyone like. When. A wheel moving in

9:10

together and building like you know buying land

9:12

together and living off the land that has

9:14

the like. We're not quite there but I

9:16

feel like that is in the atmosphere since

9:18

covered I think is now by feel like

9:20

just pay scale period. I had like a

9:22

rebound fling with life and I was like

9:24

i want to go to all the restaurant

9:26

so many all the foods and do all

9:28

the things and now I'm like own. It

9:30

was quite some staying home since. I

9:34

live in a Pm but I'm I'm a guy

9:36

But in all seriousness we do have this really

9:38

be so. Communities that we built gather

9:40

were friends with average a lot.

9:43

What difference you like is made

9:45

both your lives and potentially through

9:47

the lens and motherhood as well.

9:49

Being in the village. I

9:52

mean, for me, I feel like it's

9:54

made the world of difference. To have

9:56

friends on your doorstep is incredible. I

9:58

mean, we call it the Baths. No

10:00

and Nicole drama. We need them when you

10:02

just put in the group and would infect

10:04

Peyton, everyone defend on your doorstep and and

10:07

were there for each other. We actually spend

10:09

time and it's really nice being able to

10:11

do that without the koran of getting at

10:13

one of the com going now and being

10:16

at brunch spots and all those things that

10:18

feels really really supportive. And I also pays

10:20

leaders in a season of life that I'm

10:22

in love. Getting. To hang out

10:24

with friends out needing to make plans. I

10:26

love just a chemical for walks. I can

10:28

we do a play date today? Like can

10:31

we do something that feels. Really? Phone

10:33

in the season of Life and well, we've

10:35

all got a lot going on. the old

10:37

juggling. So many things I think that feels

10:39

really supportive and then beyond that you know,

10:41

I think. Being. At

10:43

an entrepreneurial mother and an ambitious mother

10:46

comes with so many of it's own

10:48

challenges to have a community and the

10:50

bonus points that we all live close

10:52

each other but to have a community

10:54

of of all of us are doing

10:56

that is so and valuable and definitely

10:59

you. We are probably weekly breakdowns but

11:01

it's sad to be able to do

11:03

that in a community with.level of support.

11:05

I feel incredibly lucky and for anyone

11:07

listening who doesn't have that and don't

11:09

plan on you don't venturing into the

11:12

amazing world of on from. A real

11:14

mother had. I think looking to create that

11:16

kind of community would be one of the

11:18

best things you could do for yourself your

11:20

mental health for all of it forms of.

11:22

Guess I could join Seer Mama. Stop

11:25

apply out of like. Well. I

11:29

mean. Want everything that Murphy said.

11:32

Oh. Remember being pregnant and seeing

11:34

Like Motherhood online and so many

11:36

mom's share how lonely it is

11:38

and how isolating it can feel.

11:40

And I was just really clear

11:42

when I was pregnant, that is

11:44

not going to be my experience.

11:46

I want to be surrounded by

11:48

mother's I want to be in

11:50

community because community is the new

11:52

currency. It's like everything to our

11:54

house. and you know, studies showing

11:56

that people who live in community

11:58

actually live longer, health, the alive,

12:00

and so. especially in Mother like

12:02

new mother had where everything is

12:04

brand new, you feel like you've

12:06

been reborn again and everything feels

12:08

like it's. Crumbling. And changing

12:10

and evolving like to be with women

12:13

who are on that same path. Am.

12:15

At the same time is invaluable. I love

12:17

that I love that community of currency of

12:19

wow That's so true. I was like driving

12:21

the of an eye on like what a

12:24

rich life as click out my definition of

12:26

that change. So. Much over

12:28

the last couple years and like to

12:30

me so much of it was all

12:32

like I got see my friends like

12:34

I'm close by I get to read

12:37

a book like I get the have

12:39

like just relaxed evenings and no pressure

12:41

and all the rest of it like

12:43

it's a simple things and community. such

12:45

a such a huge part of that

12:48

and you both mention than about entrepreneurship

12:50

and motherhood how how have you. I.

12:52

Can't say how the fuck both

12:54

Are you so fucking successful and

12:56

mums because like you work two

12:58

days a week I'm just like

13:00

fucking smash life literally a new

13:03

L it I mean jesus like

13:05

getting everything and you watch reality

13:07

tv highly. She taxloss you denials

13:09

like can I have your schedule

13:11

of how you're managing to find

13:13

time. To watch t they have.

13:16

To be How the fuck. Are you doing this?

13:18

Please Help me. I need to know.

13:21

I restructured everything from what I became

13:23

a moment. I've been really open about

13:25

it. You know what? The way that

13:27

I was running my business was so

13:29

completely unsustainable. I'd I was ready to

13:31

walk away from it all because ultimately

13:33

it wasn't worth it to me. I'm

13:35

super super clear that yes, I'm ambitious,

13:37

yes I have goals, but motherhood is

13:39

a my power in the season with

13:41

it's my party in this decade, my

13:43

my entire like that is what I'm

13:45

devoted to and knowing that my priority.

13:47

I have structured everything around that. Ah

13:49

and I made the decision that I

13:52

really truly believe I get to have

13:54

it all and I often don't get

13:56

have it all at the same time.

13:59

But what never changes in my commitment

14:01

to my baby and my husband's that

14:03

never never changes. And then you know

14:06

that it's I will be seasoning through

14:08

being in the in work seasons being

14:10

and very extrovert see them by will

14:13

season three many other different areas of

14:15

life but I know exactly where my

14:17

priorities are. Know what I'm never willing

14:19

to negotiate on? I think that's really

14:22

important because if you say that everything

14:24

is important all the time. Where

14:27

the old one comes from? because you tell yourself you

14:29

should be doing. One thing, when you're doing

14:31

another or you're getting down on yourself a

14:33

like not replying to the fifty tax that

14:36

you've got all not saying yes to this

14:38

partnership not think you'll get so down on

14:40

yourself at our but if you come back

14:42

to I'm honoring my priorities. The season right

14:45

now. All of that feels a lot less

14:47

charged I think.parts really important and especially for

14:49

those of us thought before we became Mother's

14:51

we would say yes to everything old, probably

14:54

all experience that and it's It's one of

14:56

the things I don't think you can carry

14:58

into the season of Life, especially. You

15:00

know, early motherhood when your babies or at

15:02

home. That. That prestigious

15:04

was my choice. The

15:07

I feel like motherhood is like the

15:09

ultimate filter for your business of like

15:11

what is really a priority and what

15:14

is no longer gonna make the cut.

15:17

You know and something going to be

15:19

pot onto the back burner for a

15:21

little bit and that's okay and hitting

15:24

every one. Every mother and we entrepreneurial

15:26

mother's version of having it all looks

15:28

get rain and feals to friend and

15:30

in my experience he now it's just

15:33

about like really trusting your instincts. Me

15:35

now I'm in the post partum. Period.

15:37

I also you know experience like

15:40

oh. This. Isn't gonna work. How

15:42

used to what I might have to ban

15:44

is down and start from scratch because I

15:46

have to redesign this in a way that

15:48

works for the type of mother had that

15:50

I want to experience and and not willing

15:52

to put my baby. Behind.

15:55

My business make this is not

15:57

going to work so. You

15:59

have to. Reimagine and redesign

16:02

and then. I

16:04

think there is a death that comes. With.

16:06

Your business. When. You enter into

16:08

motherhood. But. What I

16:10

want to speak to his:

16:13

the Rebbe that happens is

16:15

phenomenal and I've experienced in

16:17

all of us. Amen to

16:19

that. And. Got that you complete a that

16:21

center in. There is

16:24

a desk the and near the

16:26

rebirth. The rebirth is great. the

16:28

river is fucking amazing and I

16:30

know you cycle of it down

16:32

about like putting baby motherhood as

16:34

per se. I

16:36

think I have I seen as as a

16:39

loaded question that like do you think it's

16:41

possible to be a fully ambitious woman? Go

16:43

last year and dreams gosh you're and goals

16:45

and be a fully present mom. Who.

16:49

It depends on how you define fully

16:52

present and it depends on how you

16:54

define. Ambitious and going

16:56

after your goals which I wouldn't

16:58

say I would love to say

17:00

yes. And when I think about

17:02

me before kids like fully going

17:05

after my goals went like. Every

17:07

day. On. Saying. Yes

17:09

to everything that I only said like. The

17:12

me that doesn't equate to me being able to

17:14

be a fully present mom and I wanna

17:16

to say that that's my experience of them. Yeah.

17:20

That's how I feel about it and that that had

17:22

he so. I think similarly. I

17:24

think it's it's going to look different

17:27

if that's the case. Same thing I

17:29

could not compared away. My business is

17:31

bigger now than before I had kids

17:33

but I was doing it beforehand to

17:35

so my business is bigger now. I

17:38

actually think the lot of the change

17:40

of that I made last year. Allow

17:42

me to work a lot smaller and to

17:45

find more creative solutions to get better at

17:47

delegating. I think it really has pushed me

17:49

for what in one way, but I yeah,

17:51

I I feel the same way because I

17:53

know that also so much that I'm not

17:55

willing to say yes to, and so much

17:58

that I'm not willing to do. Yeah, I

18:00

think my business was always gonna be on

18:02

a broad subject re and it's It's actually

18:05

grown a lot more. even so much this

18:07

year compared to last that I probably could

18:09

have ever imagined. I'm actually working more to

18:11

make it happen. I think it's been a

18:14

combination of many, many cigs or pieces that

18:16

will put into place and hiring really great

18:18

people and. You. Know I'm I

18:20

just don't have time to micromanage anymore and

18:22

I also quite frankly don't have time for

18:25

people not doing their jobs anymore. Yeah, I

18:27

had a lot more patience than I than

18:29

I do now because if you're expecting me

18:31

to pay you and do your job, I'm

18:33

not going to do it. We're in the

18:35

past. I probably would have right? like I

18:37

should have worded both, they doesn't allow us

18:40

to hostile I mean I say and way

18:42

too slow. My expectations were lower arm. I

18:44

would be willing to micromanage. I wasn't as

18:46

willing to have a hard conversations I think

18:48

other business woman I've. Grown with experience or

18:50

happens but also knowing you know when I'm sitting

18:52

on my desk, the time I'm taken way from

18:55

being with my baby and I'm not going to

18:57

skate around a conversation I'm not gonna cover when

18:59

someone's not doing a great job. The Ah so

19:01

that's changed a lot. My actually think that was

19:03

the on lot I needed to skill my business.

19:05

We often think that it's like a marketing play

19:07

or something and and I think a lot of

19:09

it was me and and me getting of my

19:12

own way to skill my business. Yeah but I

19:14

work nowhere near the amount that I used to

19:16

work before I had no I me and I

19:18

have no plans to go back. To doing

19:20

that anytime soon either. I love the

19:22

ear Shy of business has grown during

19:24

this period of while because I'm a

19:26

villain, I got pregnant. Had all

19:28

these funds my business things are gonna

19:30

set up before we got pregnant and

19:33

then we're pregnant on am I remember

19:35

thinking like oh my god like and

19:37

Fox basically like I've worked so hard

19:39

to build his business. I was really

19:41

scared of watch and it makes the

19:43

last now kind of on reflection or

19:45

like wow you are really whoa Who

19:47

the lottery prize Ization that but I

19:49

I was so scared of what it

19:51

would use my business and remember asking

19:53

these are the mums me like hey

19:55

I'm pregnant I'm scared I didn't plan

19:57

to get. Pregnant Right now I have this grub.

20:00

Reaction not I'm not actions on top

20:02

of I feel so fucking records on

20:04

do anything other than will be one

20:06

thing led to a they've babies bring

20:09

abundant. Literally

20:11

like rocking. My

20:14

babies bring. Babies

20:16

lying about know this was something like

20:18

thrive and kept going. I I had

20:20

been a lot of my business. luckily

20:23

up until this point the other parts

20:25

did your fucking die and at the

20:27

time.felt horrible like I you know when.

20:30

They to surrender and it's like Lisa new

20:32

credit I would not lead singer of Clinging

20:34

On and then as soon as I

20:36

did actually like guile and like given thought

20:38

Das and me I suck at like if

20:41

it's gonna die it's gonna die. I get

20:43

to go home. Go. Home I work from

20:45

home had to my liking from. Boy

20:47

I get to change rooms.

20:51

My husband and my baby or in

20:53

there and I see my for and

20:55

like thoughts, the film and so like

20:57

it. Okay if these things die and

20:59

I think and only then I actually

21:01

experience i like rebirth and regrowth that

21:03

that you're talking about. Yeah. He

21:07

theme of this year apostate is keeping

21:09

things simple. Twenty Twenty Four is already

21:12

often incredible start. The team boss is

21:14

coming off a huge launched up else

21:16

so easy, so stress free and honestly

21:18

energizing which says a lot with backstory.

21:21

Last year we did a full platform

21:23

audit of the subscription platform and products

21:25

we were using towards everything behind the

21:28

scenes and basically cancelled seventy five percent

21:30

of all subscriptions to go all in

21:32

on one platform. Punjabi. Listen you guys

21:35

when I tell you I did. The

21:37

research I did, the research could job

21:39

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21:41

of the main reasons we had effortless

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custom membership platform will removed all of

22:01

our membership, took a job he and

22:03

it looks better and functioned way easier

22:05

than ever. We also used to have

22:07

different platform for things like landing pages

22:09

of funnels, email campaigns, check out you

22:12

name it and it is a breath

22:14

of fresh. I have everything in one

22:16

place in Cook Job he said no

22:18

need to have multiple platforms at that

22:20

time them altogether. Instead I really encourage

22:22

you to go all in on one

22:25

platform and I'm the biggest fan of

22:27

Kajaki. They typically don't have extended free

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I want about the quantum leap for

24:40

people. Don't talk about the death, the

24:42

com or follow the Clinton I am.

24:44

So I think when we have been

24:46

through enough death and rebirth cycles in

24:48

our life, whether that's in love, whether

24:50

that's in business, whether that's becoming a

24:52

mother, we eventually learn to trust the

24:55

Das and will like ohio else is

24:57

going. Come on death Yeah this is

24:59

this. I know where this is leading

25:01

me to. So like the sooner I

25:03

surrender to at the scene or I

25:05

got the response on the other side.

25:08

That the more I resisted the more I'm going to stay

25:10

in like this. Oh, I don't wanna be in the death.

25:12

I don't want to be in the does. I don't want

25:14

to be in a void. I don't wanna because they don't

25:17

be in the unknown. But when we actually like. Release.

25:19

That grab and actually surrender to the death

25:22

with the absolute faith and trust that what's

25:24

coming on either side of gonna be beyond

25:26

our wildest dreams. I mean look what you've

25:28

created like this is the rebirth babies like

25:30

it was. So why is that and it

25:33

pr and it's like probably ten it for

25:35

you could have imagined when you in the

25:37

death and they're all of us. I would

25:39

like to confirm as well Now Was trying

25:42

to tell me to surrender during this time.

25:45

I'm a cast record. Difficult to either

25:48

and easy if I. Remember just before

25:50

I gave birth I had a coach like they

25:52

were feeling any to coach right now have like

25:54

no no idea I do idea of I did

25:56

lead our couch and do these things organ if

25:59

I'd like. Hey brave enough to the

26:01

like for did I had a fucking who

26:03

didn't need a couch only just like go

26:05

so he pressured by some sorry it and

26:07

only listen I am now. Everyone.

26:09

Else gets to my benefit from the

26:12

as I would say my desk with

26:14

not pretty minute London so long like

26:16

my posts paw am i experience of

26:19

my loss of identity and not sharing

26:21

what I'm not sure what are what

26:23

even once you with my korea not

26:25

knowing who I am that was really

26:28

hard on even surrendering into it was

26:30

really hard a took so long to

26:32

come out of I didn't have the

26:35

trust that something that i was week

26:37

whether the bikes i didn't know anything

26:39

different. When. I was able to

26:41

surrender. I'm like open my mind her, it's

26:43

a being better than I could have imagined.

26:45

Things shifted. The to even get myself into

26:47

that point of being able to change my

26:50

mind in that way was really challenging Anything

26:52

Coleman's apart as well. My goal as of

26:54

late. I know you've set him up his

26:56

basel anxiety like we have all seen it.

26:58

So the going through the post partum whole

27:00

my insight. I think it is hard sometimes

27:02

to. It's. Almost like a still

27:04

sir throw a serious you see everything through

27:06

this big fog of whole my and so

27:08

like I think it is hard to go.

27:11

Oh actually the could be something or reading

27:13

credible neither side like I remember the play

27:15

or I turned around on the site. I

27:17

feel hopeful for the first time in a

27:19

radio on time. not unlike it doesn't come

27:21

for a while for a while. Psych. Buckle

27:24

up. Yeah, you know, and you know

27:27

you supported me through when I was

27:29

in that das period because for me

27:31

what it looked like was. What?

27:34

Business pages want to be a day or

27:36

her mom this mode of an advantage of

27:38

I like the way it I have to

27:41

show up and do what I said I

27:43

was gonna do my. My

27:45

baby. like soon you just take over

27:47

now and good like I did want

27:49

to be as their mom and she

27:52

and it's like nine months postpartum. I

27:54

start to read game like. Oh.

27:56

My God do I love my business. But I love

27:58

my work and actually does this new. It's

28:00

ration of my what that gets to come through

28:03

me as a mother now and like Fairfield exciting

28:05

for the first time instead of. Oh.

28:08

I have this commitment that I have to do

28:10

but actually want to be with my baby inside

28:12

and so for me that is what I went

28:14

through and I don't. you know it's not necessarily

28:16

everyone's experience but like it's a very real experience

28:18

that I never really heard people talk about and

28:20

I was like a my alone in this I

28:22

saw what he I feel like. Isolated

28:25

in his is anyone else thinking man's and

28:27

like I saw afraid to talk about online

28:29

because it's like went on to lose my

28:31

clients and on them to because I don't

28:33

have cable in my own of be on

28:35

the sleeves you know like being a mother

28:37

has changed my mind. yellow and Li said

28:39

like every time you shove recall it's like

28:41

this is time that I could be with

28:43

my baby. Vivid like. If. I'm not

28:46

feeling like ten out of ten lit

28:48

up then. Some a nice

28:50

change and I think a mother had

28:52

help. You get into such deep alignments

28:54

in your business because if you're not

28:56

in alignment, it's not worth taking time

28:58

away from your baby. Yeah, a hundred.

29:00

Besides, you gotta feel so aligned by

29:02

what you're doing. The message, the work

29:04

the offers, the way that you're working

29:06

with people. otherwise. Is

29:08

really no other You'd rather I'd rather be with

29:11

my baby. Yeah, I totally got botany or yeah,

29:16

I'll agree on oh god. I

29:20

mean. So. Far

29:23

away from a baby skinny Tv. Go. Home.

29:28

I don't want. This.

29:40

I mean honestly having like shown up

29:42

in my calendar and I'm like I

29:45

did I say as the this. Go

29:47

and my maybe go to Sue over.

29:50

The for the honestly I'm saying

29:52

about. Me or a. By

29:56

figure out So. With

29:59

this in mind, Now

30:01

knowing and this is as you question the

30:03

game up only but the bottles and it's

30:05

about enough when I put the bugs and

30:07

Instagram and this is a concert out knowing

30:09

what you know now how would you have

30:12

prepared your business? For. Motherhood,

30:15

Gosh, It's hotter. A. The

30:18

logical part of me wants to say

30:20

like I would have done more. Automation.

30:23

I would have scaled more before I got

30:25

pregnant. I would have. Run.

30:27

More as I would have. but then. I.

30:29

Feel like what inevitable when you become another was you

30:32

want to change things and you evolve and what you're

30:34

putting out that what you have and putting out there.

30:37

To shift. So. I think the

30:39

biggest thing that I would say. Is get

30:41

support from so like you need a team

30:43

like any people that can hold the ship

30:46

and stay the chef while you're on maternity

30:48

leave and while you're navigating I would say

30:50

month a recurring revenue for sure which I

30:52

know not lives really big on a well

30:54

but I mean I feel like it's gonna

30:57

is gonna shift and change and like the

30:59

more we can just. Accept

31:01

that the way that we enter, the way

31:03

that we have our business before we enter

31:06

motherhood is not going to be. How.

31:08

We are and how businesses on the other side

31:10

anyway and I feel like there's this story of

31:13

like a just i could have been more so

31:15

I could have a more by the i could

31:17

have him already and I feel like that Goal

31:19

Posts always keeps moving mother and father and by

31:21

the out and so I thought anyone could say.

31:24

I could have been what way more set

31:26

up because it how to prepare for something

31:28

like motherhood to changes every single aspect of

31:30

who you are So I personally would say

31:33

like the soon but you can do all

31:35

of that as much as you can but

31:37

at the end of the data has to

31:39

be like her. Surrender.

31:41

He can go completely utterly. yeah.

31:43

I really feel my point of

31:46

I think. That. Was partially why

31:48

wasn't like planning scout closer to have this plan

31:50

and I know what would have happened I would

31:52

about the January be like hum the nocturnal. the

31:54

plan was present other six months as push and

31:56

under six months and like and would have constantly

31:58

the goal posts sort of. Changing

32:00

and. Everything I did in

32:03

that time I burned down anyway. I

32:05

ended up these changed so much to like

32:07

all that and and I'm I will carry

32:09

out. This is saying I set my business

32:11

in a way to have recurring revenue each

32:13

time you for the next twelve months So

32:15

I get it wasn't like I just kind

32:17

of through you know ben everything down was

32:19

I oh shit what are you now So

32:21

I am grateful top pastors and and there

32:23

isn't an element of like I was so

32:25

scrambling for know what what my business lot

32:27

like on the other side and the and

32:30

it does is pointless I remembered is clearly

32:32

see I'm I'm actually make I know I

32:34

am I agree and same thing on the

32:36

recurring revenue funnels all the things but. So.

32:39

Interesting because when you asked that question I felt

32:41

like I never really thought to think about it.

32:43

on what I realized was. I'm. Just

32:45

realized that I was so committed to

32:47

motherhood, not changing my ambition. I think

32:50

that's what me my post comics for

32:52

and so so much more challenging Because

32:54

I was under the illusion I knew

32:57

exactly who I was. Motherhood was going

32:59

to change anything. You know? I'd meet

33:01

all these commitments of when I was

33:03

coming back and what I was gonna

33:06

do when all of that stuff and

33:08

I was you So sure of myself.

33:10

And then I went. I went through

33:12

the portal of motherhood and everything changed

33:15

and. I went through this. Internal

33:18

bottle of. I can just

33:20

pretend I'm the same pace and and

33:22

show up as I always have. I

33:24

can just pretend all I can just

33:26

be really real. And

33:28

whatever unfolds from that is going

33:31

to unfold. And I tried one

33:33

and it really didn't work. And

33:35

I'm not. made everything so much

33:37

hotter. I just resisted. Resisted resisted.

33:39

Looney Fleet just admitted what was

33:41

true for me. That's when

33:44

it like the past opened. Up. But

33:46

I just wish yeah, we can talk about fun on

33:48

the recurring revenue. But I wish I hadn't been so

33:50

tied to the idea that I was going to change.

33:52

Yeah, that I was still going to be the same

33:54

pace as if it was a badge of honor, to

33:57

be the same pace, and to be as ambitious to

33:59

be just as driven. I got was a

34:01

badge of honor and I got on the the

34:03

sight of and I thought what kind of bunch of

34:05

on a is that it's it's not my twitter

34:07

badge of honor and that was just a really big

34:09

wake up call for me. Lover.

34:11

This has been a healing conversation from here. Vog

34:13

they were the is part of that like I

34:15

don't want to be that has nice. I got

34:18

motherhood away and scrum all the time I didn't

34:20

wanna like I was sure it's. Safe

34:23

to say so. I

34:27

discussed his. I tried to cite it a

34:29

wasn't I didn't like all other people did

34:31

that. I was just like this is me

34:33

and this is why I'm A I'm going

34:35

to stay this way. And now

34:37

we're mean and I'm like my feet

34:39

know gonna be just like baby albums

34:42

Yeah and and then on was his

34:44

legs for I was with my whole

34:46

page, became a mother and I will

34:48

announce their departure being like the hero

34:50

zero and into motherhood and I'm not

34:52

here for a smile and high elo

34:54

way. I like very loud as around

34:56

here sorry about use island and I

34:58

am. I

35:01

feel as though mother had is the. Deepest.

35:05

Metamorphosis that we can go through

35:07

and like to just let it.

35:10

It's way with as is the

35:12

most beautiful thing we can do

35:14

a because like. What

35:17

else are we gonna do? You know to me

35:19

like, what else are we here for? Like this

35:21

is literally like we creating life were biting life

35:23

into the wild and we're trying to not let

35:25

it affect this. Is

35:28

true that would make sense Would ordinarily

35:30

earth that they have. They've you said

35:32

that to me before it happened to

35:34

me I would have said she didn't

35:36

get me. She doesn't know how clear

35:39

how true of an identity. I have

35:41

citizens that now I'm like. Oh

35:43

it's a lot of truth but I just

35:45

did. I wouldn't have gotten yeah I struggled

35:47

a magnet see which can be oldest are

35:49

you always them and I was I like

35:51

a yeah that's good for you. Cause

35:54

I can't. Yeah, you're right, it's Julio

35:57

and I mean yeah, we'll have to.

35:59

Yeah, With everything though, it's

36:01

so interesting when you hear the advice on

36:03

the other side of it you're like oh

36:05

yeah I got up a like without whatever

36:08

transmission going through unless you really experienced a

36:10

just caught you don't gotta get on with

36:12

everything. Not of motherhood like everything for you.

36:14

but I was joking about this dismal. knew

36:16

that I take such in the audience associates

36:18

but I'm I was saying that was how

36:21

about relationships and are saying one big thing

36:23

I don't him early should catch my husband.

36:25

I'm. I've tried it before and I was

36:27

like you said, wind me up because I

36:29

would tell him something and he would completely

36:32

ignore s and and six months later be

36:34

like oh, I should be seeing him M

36:36

I all. Ears.

36:39

Six See six. See,

36:41

I'm like the efficiency of While but like

36:43

I feel like it is that thing. It's

36:45

our economy's here. Until you Alopecia a Consumer

36:48

Express, your have you caught here and so

36:50

you're on the other side and the only

36:52

who you're actually ready to hear area. And

36:54

they actually I entered ready to actually land

36:56

near his essence of the i like a

36:59

hundred years ago. And then I hear it

37:01

Now I'm like. Yeah. It

37:04

lungs to the first time properly and I

37:06

just wasn't ready to hit by them. The

37:08

Am I mean I feel like that leave

37:10

you with I mean so many things like

37:12

you just have a lot of why the

37:14

advice but like even relationship stuff sometimes when

37:16

you get me relationship advice Mike: No no

37:19

I'm Gail I man a month delay or

37:21

like you know, she was right above. Us. So

37:24

any like I don't want let's rewrite the

37:27

with no right or if I'm at a

37:29

lot like she and of I did little

37:31

to I get it would be more efficient.

37:33

Out of the fuck are you doing your

37:35

thing? This is one that sun's out to

37:37

thaw and remember it's not like a voice

37:39

no I didn't is to me it was

37:41

unethical. Someone else that you probably want him

37:43

on a horn of as easy as a

37:45

boy and pretty widely that know like when

37:47

you eighty or you're in confrontation time, sauce

37:49

and all now it's I always me So

37:51

third wave owners are you can't recall matter.

37:53

And I got. So

37:57

angry. Know like shake him Like. I

38:01

can't do anything

38:04

stupid until every while. But

38:06

when? But when? I can soften.

38:09

It's the best thing ever. It always works but

38:11

it's all hard to do. Yeah, how the fuck

38:13

do we soften? Please actually explain this because this

38:15

leaves. This is tricky. I

38:19

did many things just entering into

38:21

any confrontation or conflict or any

38:23

area of tension whether it is

38:25

with a partner or whether

38:27

it is with a friend or whether it is

38:29

with a team member. If we

38:32

can just let our guard down and speak from our heart and

38:34

just like allow our, like it's usually

38:36

like our shoulders and our face like our

38:38

jaw and just allow literally our body to

38:40

soften as we go in, we're going to

38:42

get to a resolution way faster. When

38:45

we go in with like tense energy and

38:47

like so committed to being right and so

38:49

committed to our defensiveness and our side of

38:51

the street and our argument, you're going to

38:54

meet someone who's going to mirror that same

38:56

thing. But when you come in with softness

38:58

and when you come in with an open

39:00

heart and like dropping into the

39:03

heart, speaking from true desire, from true vulnerability, from

39:05

true softness, this is how I feel. This is

39:07

how this has made me feel and this is

39:09

the story that I'm telling myself about this. This

39:12

is what I desire. This is my intention for this.

39:15

We're going to be mirrored that same thing back to us.

39:18

Someone's not going to mirror, like

39:20

with their hardness, you know, they're going to be like, okay,

39:23

she's coming into her softness. I'm going to come

39:25

into my softness with meet each other heart

39:27

to heart instead of wall and wall, you

39:30

know? So I think this

39:32

is really helpful in relationships, just period,

39:35

like any relationships. And

39:37

everything is always a practice. And like,

39:39

this is always easier said than done

39:41

in the beginning until we literally train

39:43

it into our bodies of like, when

39:45

we recognize I'm actually going to get

39:47

where I want to get faster, which

39:49

is to connection and resolution.

39:51

Right. Right.

39:54

It's a bit efficiency, right? It's about where do I want to

39:56

get to? I want

39:58

to come. I wanted to come into connection. I want to be in

40:00

connection with this person. I want to make up. I want

40:02

us to be in connection. And when we say that to

40:05

our partner, I really want to connect. This is my intention.

40:07

I really want to want us to come back together. This

40:09

is how I feel from that softness.

40:12

We're just going to get there faster, you know? And it's

40:14

like, do we want to stay mad at each other? Do

40:16

we want to prove that we're right? Do

40:19

we want a point score or do we want to be in

40:21

connection? We want to be in connection. We just don't want to

40:23

admit that to ourselves in the moment because we're so committed to

40:25

our cause, you know? So,

40:27

yeah. I mean,

40:29

it's right. It's not easy. No. It's

40:32

all right. Yeah. It's like,

40:34

I always think, like, do I want to be right or

40:36

do I want to be connected? Like, do

40:38

I want to choose being right or do I want to choose love?

40:41

And, you know, sometimes

40:44

when we are setting our partner up to lose,

40:46

it's actually lose-lose, you know? We get to

40:48

set our partner up to win. We get to

40:51

set our friends up to win. And we

40:53

do that by, like, listening and coming

40:55

into our hearts. I love this. I

40:57

feel like such a bitch now for the arguments that I

40:59

have when I'm shaking in the corner. I

41:02

love it. I mean, yeah.

41:07

It's beautiful. Yeah. My whole body's

41:09

off and listening to that as well. I feel

41:11

like this has come through a little bit already, and I want

41:14

to talk to this. We are

41:16

all incredibly good friends and we're all

41:18

incredibly different. And I feel like we

41:20

have different approaches to life, to business,

41:22

to motherhood. I'd love to just,

41:24

like, riff on that and

41:26

hear both of your opinions on this

41:29

and, like, your perspectives on this, because

41:31

I definitely think I will speak for myself, like,

41:33

growing up, you thought the friends were, like, the

41:35

people who are the same. And there

41:38

was a lot of, like, almost, like, connection built

41:40

on the sameness. And actually, some of the most

41:42

beautiful friendships in my life isn't built on sameness.

41:45

It's built on contrast and having

41:48

differing opinions. And

41:50

I think, luckily, not speaking for myself

41:52

here, I encounter a lot of people in

41:54

the same way I'm being judged for this. I'm being judged

41:56

by this for my friends, for my family, Even

41:59

partners sometimes. And it's difficult.

42:01

How do you think you cultivate

42:04

and foster this environment of like

42:06

having friendships and loving everyone's different

42:08

and also not bringing judgment into

42:11

into these differing opinions. I

42:14

think the longer that you. Are

42:17

friends with someone the more

42:19

you get to see or

42:22

they're different, multifaceted Us banks

42:24

and that creates just. Just

42:26

like more of a. Sickness.

42:29

You get to see that for humanity

42:31

and as gonna be parts that like

42:33

really aligned with your teeth and of

42:35

can be pots the like don't but

42:37

like when you're judging from you not

42:39

able to like fully love them at

42:41

the same time and so I think

42:43

as you get older you start to

42:45

just think. Oh yeah, that's at that

42:47

thing about Up As and but I love

42:49

them. It doesn't stop me from loving that

42:51

person. It just makes me even love the

42:53

mall because it's like this person really knows

42:55

who they are in the world and I.

42:58

I really value that in a person. Him

43:00

and. I. Think to

43:02

having a level of confidence in yourself

43:04

and makes a big difference because I

43:07

often think if you're judging something and

43:09

someone else does part of you that

43:11

field and secure. About it. Like

43:14

if you're judging someone else of motherhood.

43:16

I think that probably. Lends

43:18

itself to saying you might be insecure about

43:20

the way your mothering? What is it about

43:23

us triggering for you because you felt super

43:25

confident that we you were doing it You

43:27

would trust you know I'm doing what I'm

43:29

doing because I trust my instincts. and so

43:32

I mean of course as outliers and have

43:34

kids. but generally you know you have friends

43:36

with someone, you know that I doing what's

43:38

best and their instincts. and I think having

43:41

that confidence in yourself lends itself to confidence.

43:43

and other than your have that level of

43:45

judgments I got a really nice way to

43:47

build our friendships. of and i would

43:49

speak for our friendship i feel like

43:52

we all are so confident and ourselves

43:54

and we all truly deeply care about

43:56

each other's individual happiness that it's never

43:58

we never feel like we're scared

44:01

to admit something, even though we all do

44:03

things so differently. Yes, we're the same in

44:05

some ways, but even in our motherhood, so

44:07

much of what we do is so different.

44:09

And we have different beliefs even about motherhood.

44:13

And I think, I think that's

44:15

great. I think that level of competence, but I also

44:17

think it's so nice to be in

44:19

community like that because it, I learn from it.

44:21

And it introduces me to ways of thinking that

44:23

I might not have thought before. And it introduces

44:26

me to think about, Oh, interesting, they

44:28

do it that way. Is that something I want to try

44:30

on? And sometimes it's a no, but sometimes

44:32

it's a yes. And I'll try it on

44:34

and I like it. And that

44:36

feels like I'm expanding and growing because

44:38

I'm around people that are different. And

44:41

that's really nice. Sarah Kowalik I agree. I

44:43

agree with that. Like when you're around people

44:45

who think slightly different, it's like, like

44:48

a really good learning opportunity. Otherwise, you're just an echo

44:50

chamber. And actually, for

44:53

this reason, like I make a point

44:55

of like listening to podcasts and

44:58

people who don't share the same beliefs

45:00

as me, like with things like

45:02

just things in our culture and politically.

45:04

And I'm like, I want to understand

45:07

this, this viewpoint, because it's

45:09

not my natural go to viewpoint.

45:11

But I want to really understand the way

45:13

that this person thinks about

45:16

the world, because I think it's going to

45:18

expand my awareness and help me be able

45:20

to connect with more people and understand because

45:23

we're all different, but we're all the same, you know,

45:25

and if we sit down heart to heart, like I

45:27

said, like with anyone with different beliefs, we'd

45:29

find that we're all want the same thing. We

45:32

all want love, we all want connection, we all

45:34

we just have different ways of getting there. Yeah,

45:36

you know, and especially with

45:38

motherhood, like so many we've spoken

45:40

about our motherhood experiences and so

45:43

much of our motherhood journeys are influenced

45:45

by our own mothers, and what we

45:47

experienced, whether that was positive, and

45:49

we really were inspired by that, or whether it

45:51

was limiting and negative, and we don't want to

45:54

repeat that. And I think that's really

45:56

important unique aspect of every mother's journey.

46:00

And I really agree about you that about the

46:02

kind of like I think it's healthy. Having.

46:04

I love that practice of like listening to the

46:06

opinions on. I kinda want to bring the in

46:08

a little bit more but I think it's healthy

46:10

because I think when you're you've all that the

46:12

same opinion thought you'd let you write each other

46:14

up and you and it creates was like a

46:16

divisiveness where you become so riled up and so

46:18

convinced that the way that you're doing things the

46:20

right way of doing at and an it's was

46:22

like this confrontation. If anyone dares disagree without adding

46:25

that would be a colts. Actually I think that

46:27

would be more of a call today with good

46:29

for not doing that. yeah because then I think

46:31

it would be maybe the a little dangerous confirmed

46:33

not a call from confirmed monocle. Okay, we're

46:35

hicks about you Mention that actually

46:37

about how your Mother, your own

46:39

experiences of your mother impacts. Either

46:41

way that you mother to both

46:43

of you want positive, What negative

46:45

light? How has your experience with

46:47

your own mother's impacted the way

46:49

that you mother. While.

46:52

Some me and what I

46:54

witnessed in my mom was.

46:57

A woman who was entrepreneurial,

46:59

creatives and designed have businesses

47:02

around her babies so she

47:04

it created different businesses that

47:07

she did from home and

47:09

they were small businesses. But

47:12

she's. Literally made them like that.

47:14

It should be home with us And

47:16

this is like in the nineties to

47:19

this is before the internet, before finals

47:21

and systems and odds you have an

47:23

on social media or anything like that

47:25

and virtually non social media business see

47:27

know, I know she actually had to

47:30

wait for a membership. More a mom.

47:33

And babies and she would send out

47:35

like worksheets and packets in the manual

47:37

for months to do with their babies

47:39

at home. Know is now doesn't B

47:41

I and I got to like help

47:43

her creole the activity pack than like

47:45

my dad is entrepreneurs while he was

47:47

a psychologist so I got I like

47:49

I got a lot from both of

47:51

them. yeah but my mom like I

47:53

had she got to help her do

47:55

the packets and like getting to be

47:57

involved in my mom business and psychos

47:59

do my. And like seeing how would

48:01

your or from home with so inspiring to me

48:03

and she was always with us as you though

48:05

is around so I never felt like I was.

48:08

Missing. Out on my mom because of

48:10

her work and that is something that always

48:12

stuck with me. Feel like I want to

48:14

have. An. Amazing business and for like

48:17

and little my purpose in changing from training

48:19

women's lives and but I never want my

48:21

baby to feel like mom getting that she's

48:23

never hear me now. And that

48:25

and that was a really positive influence

48:28

on mean when I entered into the

48:30

space of entrepreneurship. Be feel

48:32

as though having that as a role model

48:34

and she also pivoted law in her businesses

48:36

are she did that for a bit than

48:38

she did like some schools for a bit

48:40

like in our school she would like to

48:42

be some schools for kids in the school

48:44

and ban she did like beauty therapy, an

48:46

aroma therapy and herbalism and. I.

48:48

Got to see that you compare and you

48:50

can reinvent yourself and you can shift with

48:52

your passion and that bad really employers make

48:55

of And the big fan of a Pivot

48:57

and Rebus and I believe that we are

48:59

many, many things wouldn't have to just be

49:01

one thing though. I feel like that's been

49:03

a really early positive influence on the way

49:05

that I have and into motherhood and entrepreneurship.

49:08

I. Will I didn't know the about you're either

49:10

with like the packets. I was cool to find out.

49:12

Like and your Mum such a legend about what I

49:14

was giggling is your mum was setting up the summer

49:17

camps. My mom couldn't work out what the term date

49:19

for my mom was on. Take me like it's such

49:21

a school. A day early in a day late isn't.

49:25

The different experiences I not say

49:28

how about you. Different. Experience:

49:30

My mom was a single mom mom.

49:32

I'm one of eight and I really

49:34

remember. You know, she struggles for food

49:37

on the table some weeks, you know,

49:39

struggle to pay for heat in the

49:41

house like we really didn't have a

49:43

lot of the basics growing up and

49:45

I remember. her strength

49:48

throughout all like has definitely been

49:50

something that i've taken from her

49:52

which i love and getting to

49:54

witness that made me really wanna

49:56

be independent and have my independence

49:59

an old I also have freedom to

50:01

choose how I wanted to live my

50:03

life. You know, seeing

50:05

what she went through, it gave

50:08

me a lot of empathy for what a lot of people

50:10

go through, because it wasn't a case of she could have

50:12

set her own business up and scaled and all the things

50:14

that we often talk about. You know, she

50:16

was really struggling to put food on

50:18

the table. You are in pure survival

50:20

when you're in that space. And

50:23

so I just learned a lot about not wanting to

50:25

be in that place, having an

50:27

empathy for what that is, what that

50:29

looks like, and wanting to create something

50:31

very, very different for myself. So the

50:34

way that I've structured really my entire life,

50:37

I think has come from a lot of what I saw. You

50:39

know, I make some financial decisions. And I talk

50:42

about this openly of always

50:44

wanting to be in a place of freedom. You know,

50:46

I've never wanted to be highly leveraged. You know, I

50:48

do silly things like buy my house and cash and

50:51

like things like that, that to other people might be

50:53

like this crazy decision and oh, you could if you

50:55

leverage this happens and you make more money this way

50:57

and it's a silly financial decision, to

51:00

me that's peace. And you

51:02

can't put a price on peace. And

51:04

I think about that kind of stuff like what feels

51:06

peaceful to my nervous system is knowing that I'll never

51:08

have to go into that place

51:10

of security. I'm not having that.

51:13

I've made a lot of decisions that I don't feel like

51:15

I'm making from a place of trauma, but actually from a

51:17

place of this is what feels really good for me. And

51:19

I want to create security so that I

51:21

get to choose. My mom was home with us

51:24

a lot, but that really wasn't necessarily a choice

51:27

because childcare was way more expensive than what you would

51:29

have got paid. And I love that she

51:31

was home with us, but I would also like

51:33

to have the choice. I liked having the

51:35

choice to go to work. So that was

51:37

just amazing to see that. And I've

51:39

definitely gained a lot of strength from it and just

51:41

a level of empathy for what a lot of people go

51:43

through, because this is a lot more common than we

51:45

like to think. I exist in

51:48

a bubble now and I don't see a lot

51:50

of people like that. So I like to get

51:52

involved in helping people in that situation. Cause it

51:54

is a lot more common than we think. A

51:56

hundred percent. And do you think that empathy is

51:58

part of what's like? fired you up

52:01

to support so many women to

52:03

create freedom? SOPHIE Yeah, I really,

52:05

really deeply want to help women

52:07

create freedom and independence so that

52:09

they can make decisions for themselves

52:11

and that they don't have to

52:14

stay in perhaps abusive or

52:16

toxic relationships. So they don't

52:18

have to stay in jobs

52:20

that feel like they

52:22

can't even afford childcare because the job's not paying

52:24

them enough. I truly want to help

52:26

women create freedom. And on the other side of

52:28

it, I love working with women that are crushing

52:30

it, seven figures, and how do we scale beyond

52:32

that? Because all of that has a

52:35

big impact and I'm so lucky that the women I

52:37

work with all care about impacting the world. And

52:39

yeah, it just has instilled

52:41

in me this sense of, you know, when you

52:43

think about would you go back and relive it, I don't

52:46

know. But I'm so grateful for

52:48

everything that it gave me. The level of

52:50

strength that I have because of it has

52:52

been incredible. And I'm so grateful for the

52:54

way that my mum showed up throughout that

52:56

and just who she is is, yeah, very,

52:59

very grateful. I love that. What about you?

53:01

This is such a good

53:03

question, Alex. So

53:05

for me, I

53:09

think something my mum has definitely inspired me

53:11

is kindness. My mum is the most kind,

53:14

generous person ever. Like she will

53:16

go above and beyond. She

53:19

literally texts me the other day. She's like, I

53:21

want to bring some things over for the girls,

53:23

kids. And like she's just like so caring and

53:25

so loving. And I think that's really

53:28

inspired me to like fully show up in my friendships

53:30

and my relationships in that way. Like if I could

53:32

be a tense as kind as my

53:34

mum, like I feel like I'm winning in life. Like

53:36

she truly is. And

53:39

I don't think it was always easy

53:42

for her when I was growing up. My

53:45

mum was stay at home. She had had some

53:47

businesses. She kind of slowly wound them up. It

53:49

was property as I was growing up. I

53:51

think she struggled with it. I think she struggled.

53:54

I Think she had a lot of dreams, a lot of

53:56

goals, a lot of ambitions. She Didn't necessarily have the confidence

53:58

maybe to go. The them and he

54:01

I think it's impacted me in the way

54:03

that I shook my most on seen as

54:05

am I really want to fulfill my dreams

54:07

and I on I want to do that

54:09

and it's in the thing that makes the

54:12

emotional every comedies my mom so proud to

54:14

may as he is very much like while

54:16

the show me was possible and like while

54:18

you've done that since like bring a business

54:20

ideas to me and stuff like this and

54:22

and in many ways I'm issues it's very

54:25

successful that as she had to property the

54:27

most incredible by doesn't you just saw both

54:29

sides of. Anything it feel very healing in

54:31

many ways to get to be in that

54:33

position of like we can do these things

54:35

like you can have an idea but you

54:38

can also he to make it manifests you

54:40

can make it real M C I go

54:42

bust proof women to on I told him

54:44

I see yeah I see that too because

54:46

when we think about our kids I mean

54:48

you just want them to be so happy

54:50

and and I know for me like when

54:53

mine old I'm going to totally be living

54:55

vicariously through them and my hope is that

54:57

I just set them up with an of

54:59

confidence to. Be able to go out there

55:01

and do the things they want to do

55:03

and I really think that come from all

55:05

murmuring that to them of you can do

55:07

that and and. Putting. That

55:09

confidence and I'm sure I'm sure that's all you

55:11

want when you get when you see your kids

55:13

copy like I just want them to be happy

55:15

in the what makes them up be so yeah

55:17

I mean I def lethal as can be. The

55:19

hardest part motherhood. I was like you have to

55:21

watch them make their decisions and you might think

55:23

it's a shit decision but you have to back

55:25

them over. I'm going to find that really hard

55:28

and okay, like he's. He's. Sick but nearly one so

55:30

I won't speak to say and. But am

55:32

I do feel like already I'm like god

55:34

I love you so much and I know

55:36

that loving you so much mean supporting you

55:38

in your decisions. Not why I think you

55:40

should do or how I think you should

55:42

they so I can definitely see how it's

55:44

gonna with I'm gonna say that as good

55:46

as how would your mom's of like I

55:48

say theory I lay me like see the

55:50

other guy you think kony my mind living

55:53

at home as thirty a juggler happen I

55:55

love you honey you got. To

55:57

be great! So lonely so we're going around.

56:00

But we're gonna be back for a

56:02

party which can be the wind down.

56:09

As hey ladies. Welcome.

56:11

To the line down he wrestled

56:13

fitness. You never

56:15

know when. Alex my guy. So

56:17

I'm gonna go for question that we go off and

56:19

scrum first. Week I'd

56:21

There wasn't much phrasing around this

56:24

question, but the question was around.

56:27

And. Ask them about dirty talk

56:29

and I also on answering missile.

56:34

Ss It was like. Why

56:37

is this? A mess with and

56:39

now the smell. Now the. Hundred. Oh. No,

56:43

no, But now. for

56:45

day talk and by nearly last, how

56:48

to optimize my fun of. Me

56:51

sit on the on photo by us I

56:53

have my or that louis know who to

56:55

question the painful wanna us is the one

56:57

what it was only they talk day the

57:00

question was actually like and talk about the

57:02

doesn't like and about dirty talk with as

57:04

to the emergency for that sounds like someone

57:07

needing help. And not even knowing

57:09

how Springbok accessible only into dirty org I'm

57:11

going. I saw Salute League. Of

57:15

Insulin I'm in. I'm here for at school and

57:17

I'm here if I actually. I. Actually

57:19

who incidentally left a voice node semis

57:21

in a circle which Natalie then today

57:23

in a cycle is as in Queen

57:25

of Hearts which is like all about

57:27

love and releases at the I was

57:29

specifically about that it'll every guard I'll

57:32

try to avoid snow in your and

57:34

you what's up making fully I did

57:36

you get as a voice into shown

57:38

when he starts I don't know know

57:40

I had this download when I was.

57:43

Involved in that he talked with show and

57:45

latin I announced like must how the Queen

57:47

of Hearts laden lot about that. I

57:52

listen really good to know I'm been held in

57:54

this like a note. That and value there. And

57:57

then you're gonna have to sign of a Queen of Hearts and

57:59

the President. No,

58:01

I was thinking so like a lot of the

58:04

work that I do is around polarity and like

58:06

masculine and feminine and Communication the way that we

58:08

communicate with our partners We can

58:10

should we desire to create more

58:12

polarity in our relationship? Communicate

58:15

from a more feminine place and when it

58:17

comes to sex. I believe dirty talk is

58:19

a really powerful full play

58:21

especially for women and When

58:24

we approach dirty talk from Dirty

58:27

sounds I'm a sounds American dirty talk.

58:29

I'm losing my British accent. That's what

58:31

I call it Oh, it's just like

58:34

yeah, I just skipped the earth dirty

58:36

talk dirty talk When

58:40

we want to communicate this in a more and

58:43

create that more polarity It's actually

58:45

feels way more sexy when we

58:47

speak into what we want Them

58:50

to do to us rather than what

58:52

we want to do because actually being

58:54

in the feminine in

58:56

the bedroom is actually about receiving him

58:59

in his fullness and allowing him

59:01

to Claim us

59:03

ravish us penetrate us take

59:05

us Write a

59:08

woman in the bedroom typically wants

59:10

to be taken and chosen and

59:12

ravished She doesn't want to be

59:14

the one ravishing and so when we

59:16

remember this when we come into our

59:18

dirty talk It's actually creates way more

59:20

polarity way more sexiness when

59:22

we get to share. I Want

59:25

you to do this to me? I want you to take

59:27

me like this I love the way you do this instead

59:29

of I want to do this. I want to do this

59:31

I want to do this actually is way

59:33

more sexy I'm so glad you gave me a

59:35

sentence done then cuz I was gonna ask you

59:37

for one I was like give us a sentence

59:39

stem. Yeah, I want to so yeah, not I

59:41

want to it's I want you to like I

59:43

love the way you Fuck

59:45

me like this. I love I love

59:47

it when you do this to me feels

59:49

so good, okay, you know like I Don't

59:53

give him a check. He's saying I want to

59:55

do this and I was saying I want you

59:57

to do this I want you to do this

59:59

instead of and I want to do this back to

1:00:01

you. I love that. Do you know

1:00:03

what I mean? Yeah. And it's just more sexy.

1:00:05

It creates more polarity. You're so right on that

1:00:07

thing as well about women wanting, well,

1:00:09

I think you're right on that thing of women

1:00:11

wanting that. It's like that domination,

1:00:13

because when we were at

1:00:16

a sexy week, I don't know what to call it, got

1:00:19

flustered. A sacred

1:00:22

sexuality week. Oh God,

1:00:24

I'm cringing myself. This is why

1:00:26

I can't be a sex coach, my God. Flushing.

1:00:30

But all the women, and there was some

1:00:32

really successful women there, were like, yeah, I

1:00:35

want him to ravish me. They

1:00:37

weren't like, I want to ravish my mom.

1:00:40

They were like, no, you take the lead.

1:00:42

Exactly, and this is why I believe that

1:00:44

under every high-achieving, independent woman who

1:00:47

has lived a lot of life

1:00:49

in that masculine energy is

1:00:51

a woman who deeply craves and desires

1:00:53

to just be taken and be in

1:00:56

her feminine and be ravished

1:00:58

and chosen and cherished and, dare

1:01:01

I say it, penetrated by life. Love

1:01:04

this. Penetrate me with life.

1:01:06

Yeah. Amazing, amazing.

1:01:09

So this was a question from these

1:01:11

girls, and I love this. We're gonna

1:01:14

start light, we'll go deeper. But

1:01:16

if you three were the Spice Girls, who

1:01:19

would be who? You're

1:01:22

giving Ginger a spice. Thank you,

1:01:24

because she was my icon. I can

1:01:26

see that, you're right. I

1:01:29

would have said that, but I'm glad that someone said

1:01:31

that. Nailed it. Thank you. Yeah, I love this. I'm

1:01:33

gonna say baby. Really? I

1:01:35

could see baby for you. Really? Yeah.

1:01:37

Interesting. I always used to be posh when I was young, because

1:01:39

I had brown hair, but I wasn't very posh. You

1:01:42

can't be posh by somebody from Stockport, I'm

1:01:45

just saying, nor Newcastle. I

1:01:47

mean, I would say posh for

1:01:49

you, yeah. Yeah, I would say more posh. I'll

1:01:51

take it. Yeah, I always

1:01:53

think posh is a bit of a powerhouse. Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:57

I like it. It's a bit classy, understated, but

1:01:59

like... always on brand. Yeah.

1:02:02

Thanks you guys. I love this. I love

1:02:04

this. I'll take it. Okay, that

1:02:06

was a great question. Really good question. Yeah. That

1:02:09

one. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah.

1:02:12

Who would have known? The

1:02:14

husband in the room. That's the best question.

1:02:17

I want to say, I want to just say a little bit

1:02:19

more about you as baby because I just want to say like

1:02:22

unapologetically like girly and

1:02:25

just like a sweetheart and just

1:02:28

the whole aesthetic of this is giving babies

1:02:30

by his vibes. So fun.

1:02:32

So fun. So fun. Yeah.

1:02:35

I want to have fun. That's the word. I'm

1:02:37

sorry. I just need a

1:02:39

moment. My husband made that question. So he

1:02:41

slowly raised his hand in the background and

1:02:44

was like, that was me. Points to Jake.

1:02:46

Great question, babe. You can penetrate me with

1:02:48

life later. I'm joking. I'll be

1:02:50

knackered. Okay. So if you

1:02:52

didn't... Okay, I'm going to... Right. There

1:02:59

was a couple of questions that were quite similar. So I'm

1:03:01

going to focus on one of them. And

1:03:03

this is through the lens of someone who isn't yet

1:03:05

a mum. Okay. So

1:03:08

if you didn't have an established group of friends

1:03:10

to create your village yet, what would you do

1:03:12

to attract them? And we had,

1:03:14

we basically had like three kind of versions of

1:03:16

this. So I feel like this is hot, hot

1:03:19

in your lady's mind. So let's go deep on

1:03:21

this. If you're not a mum, you're

1:03:23

wanting to attract the village, you're wanting to attract

1:03:25

online friendships. How do you go about it? I

1:03:28

mean, if you are in the early

1:03:30

stages of motherhood, go to the classes and the

1:03:32

things actually happening in your community, because that is

1:03:34

the best place to meet people like that. But

1:03:37

if you're not in that place yet, join online

1:03:39

communities literally built for that, because

1:03:42

there are so many amazing online communities

1:03:44

with these subgroups of other women asking

1:03:46

for and looking for the exact same

1:03:48

thing. And you'd be surprised

1:03:50

how much overlap in location there is

1:03:52

or how much you might connect with.

1:03:55

Like I literally know people in our

1:03:58

community who connected, became business partners. moved

1:04:00

like across the world to like run the

1:04:02

business together and it's amazing what can happen

1:04:04

when you find your people. So this

1:04:07

I mean there's so many amazing communities online. Lean

1:04:09

in. I can actually speak to that like I

1:04:11

actually think I feel like we might have given

1:04:13

the impression it's almost easier to do this when

1:04:15

you're a mum and actually it's probably easier when

1:04:17

you're not a mum in many ways which isn't

1:04:19

safe you can do it as mum because clearly

1:04:21

you can but I completely forgot about this. I

1:04:24

went in the society when I first started one

1:04:26

of my businesses and

1:04:29

I didn't have any friends who were entrepreneurs

1:04:31

so I joined this membership. First of all

1:04:33

I randomly went to a boss babe event

1:04:35

didn't know who any of you were. It was

1:04:38

the one in London with Nick and

1:04:40

it was off a Facebook ad and it

1:04:42

popped up and it was a 90

1:04:44

it was like a 99 pound tickle

1:04:46

or something and that to me at the time was a

1:04:48

hell of a lot of money and I was like 99

1:04:50

pounds I don't know like okay I'm gonna go and I

1:04:53

went and I had a product-based business at the time but

1:04:55

I remember listening being like wow this

1:04:57

is an amazing online world that these

1:04:59

women are creating and I went

1:05:01

because I didn't have any friends who are entrepreneurs or we

1:05:03

were doing anything but I joined the

1:05:05

society off the back of it and I

1:05:07

went in the group and I said hey

1:05:09

I'm in London I don't know

1:05:11

anyone else who's running a business who wants to meet

1:05:13

up in real life I'm shit responding to WhatsApp messages

1:05:15

I didn't need more digital friends I was like who wants

1:05:17

to meet up in real life and

1:05:20

I remember we booked a route like a

1:05:22

breakfast table at the Writing House cafe and

1:05:25

I thought like two or three people come we had like 25

1:05:27

women come and

1:05:29

all these women and we all

1:05:31

connected and obviously even a vibe

1:05:33

with some more than others but like I think that's

1:05:35

such a testament to like just

1:05:37

go to it find go on event right

1:05:39

find events like go to events like go

1:05:41

to the places online if it's not available

1:05:43

to you physically but yeah what what

1:05:46

would you already see on this I just want to say

1:05:48

I think I was at that event no way

1:05:50

we knew each other no think so

1:05:52

no I will ring the bell oh my

1:05:54

god the bell Nick was there go I

1:05:56

think I might have come like with Nick

1:05:58

or something oh my god Oh my

1:06:00

god. Anyway, this is years back. That makes me

1:06:02

happy. I can't believe it. This is so crazy.

1:06:04

This is wild. I'm sorry we didn't present. I'm

1:06:06

so famous for bringing us all together. I know.

1:06:08

Wow. I always think it's so weird to even

1:06:10

like think that we were in the same space

1:06:12

and we didn't even know each other. Yeah. I

1:06:16

had that with Nick as well. I don't know, there's a

1:06:18

thousand stories like this. I wanna hear your advice. I would

1:06:20

say like honestly, like the online world has never made it

1:06:22

more easy for us to find community

1:06:24

literally based around what we want and

1:06:27

what we wanna grow in the areas that we care

1:06:29

about. There are

1:06:31

so many different communities that you can join now whether

1:06:33

it's a membership, a program, a course where

1:06:35

you can literally find people in there that want the exact

1:06:38

same thing as you and they're on the same journey as

1:06:40

you. And so I say, don't sign up

1:06:42

to things and be a lurker. Like sign up

1:06:44

and get involved and like lean into that community

1:06:46

and those connections and ask questions and get the

1:06:48

most out of it and

1:06:50

lean into the community aspect. I really believe

1:06:52

like community is so healing for women. So

1:06:54

many of us have sister wounds that originated

1:06:56

in community when we were little. So the

1:06:58

way that we heal them is to get

1:07:00

back into community as grown

1:07:03

women to heal together. And

1:07:05

I would say with regards to the village piece,

1:07:08

I actually have in another inner circle that I

1:07:11

run called Queen of Diamonds, I have a group

1:07:13

of women in there who are literally creating their

1:07:15

village together at the moment. And they're like, they've

1:07:17

never met in person before but they're like, where

1:07:19

are we moving together? Let's like scope

1:07:21

out location. They're not moms yet, but

1:07:24

they wanna be. They're all running businesses.

1:07:26

And they're literally like, we all want

1:07:28

the same thing. Let's do this together.

1:07:31

And it's just like giving me so much life. They're

1:07:33

like researching different places that they wanna move to. Like

1:07:35

it's so cool. And

1:07:37

it's like, yeah, like we get to do

1:07:39

this. We've never had as much freedom and

1:07:41

opportunity to do that as we do

1:07:44

now, especially if we have online businesses where we don't

1:07:46

have to be tied to one place. I

1:07:49

will shamelessly plug you both because I think you're both fucking epic

1:07:51

and I've been in both your community years. Both

1:07:54

Natalie and Mel have memberships as well. Like,

1:07:56

got the goddess collective, we've got society. Like

1:07:58

you can find friends in there. and

1:08:00

moving away from the digital aspect for a second, also

1:08:03

check out your neighbors maybe. I'm friends with my

1:08:05

neighbors now on both sides and they're a fucking

1:08:08

vibe. I met this mom the other day at

1:08:10

the swing. She has four

1:08:12

kids and she homeschools all of them.

1:08:15

I'm like, teach me your way. I

1:08:17

wanna learn from you. And she's like, oh,

1:08:20

I run this Friday moms group

1:08:22

around my house. I'm like, I'ma be

1:08:24

there. Not tomorrow, but I'ma be there next week. Just

1:08:27

realized we have a house thing tomorrow. I'll be

1:08:29

there next Friday though. Yeah, no big deal. You're

1:08:31

just buying a house. We just met her like

1:08:34

swinging our babies on swings, get chatting to people.

1:08:36

Don't be just like in your own little world.

1:08:38

I love that. And for you the extroverts of the group

1:08:40

are cause I've never met anyone the neighborhood. This

1:08:43

is why I enrolled everyone. I already

1:08:46

knew to move shop. I

1:08:48

would like to clarify. It was Jake who was inviting

1:08:50

the neighbors round. And I was like, really? And

1:08:53

then they came around and was like, I love them. They're

1:08:56

fantastic. They're great. It's like the same as what we were

1:08:58

talking about earlier, we are also

1:09:00

kind of in an echo chamber of like just

1:09:02

the online industry and the space and the coaching

1:09:04

world. And it's like, there are people that have

1:09:06

completely different lives that live next door to us.

1:09:08

And like getting to know them is like a

1:09:10

whole different universe opens up for me because I

1:09:12

realized, oh my God, all my friends are in

1:09:14

the same industry. And all my friends are entrepreneurs

1:09:17

and work online and create courses and programs

1:09:19

and memberships and retreats. And then I meet

1:09:21

someone who's like, yep, I homeschool my babies.

1:09:23

No, I don't go to work. And my

1:09:25

husband provides. And I'm like, I

1:09:27

want to get to know your way of living.

1:09:29

Like this is cool. Like teach me how do you

1:09:31

homeschool for kids at once? Like I want to

1:09:33

learn about that. Like that's cool. I can so see

1:09:35

this vision for you. Oh my God, that's all happening.

1:09:38

Yeah, I can see it happening. I

1:09:41

love this. Okay, so I'm going to

1:09:43

carry on. Cause I feel like I want to get through as many

1:09:45

of these. Yeah, that dirty talk question opened up a whole different world

1:09:47

of. I'm glad we started there. I

1:09:49

got some advice, so that was great. Okay,

1:09:53

I love this one. So what advice

1:09:55

do you have for someone who has been

1:09:57

recently impacted by a corporate layoff and is

1:09:59

interested in. starting their own business,

1:10:01

but not sure what may resonate

1:10:03

to drive revenue. So

1:10:06

when you're in that kind of space

1:10:08

where you are interested

1:10:10

in doing something, but maybe you do need the

1:10:12

income right now, you don't maybe have six months

1:10:14

to a year to figure it out. And

1:10:16

you're not entirely sure what the thing is for

1:10:18

you. I always say put one

1:10:20

foot in front of the other every single day.

1:10:23

And I promise you opportunity will show up things

1:10:25

you're interested in will show up, but it's when

1:10:27

you're taking action that'll actually happen. And

1:10:29

so if I was in that situation, what I would do

1:10:31

is I think about what are the

1:10:33

things that I'm really good at and what

1:10:36

are the values that and skills that I

1:10:38

could add to someone's business or, you know,

1:10:40

people that I know, and I would pitch them

1:10:42

on services and for one person

1:10:44

in one business, it might be totally different

1:10:47

to the other person, but getting that experience

1:10:49

firstly or getting that cash flow in, which

1:10:51

is really important if you're in that in

1:10:53

between phase. But secondly, getting that experience, doing

1:10:56

different things, you'll often realize, Oh, I actually

1:10:58

love that. I want to do more of

1:11:00

that. Didn't like that one so much. Here's

1:11:02

what I learned about it. And

1:11:05

I feel like that's been my entire career

1:11:07

is just kind of saying yes to things,

1:11:09

feeling into it. Okay. I love that part. I'm going to

1:11:11

take that with me, but I'm going to leave that. And

1:11:13

then, you know, if you have to do some

1:11:15

of the things in the meantime for cashflow, not

1:11:17

feeling bad about that. Not every business takes off

1:11:20

overnight. And when you're able to

1:11:22

sustain yourself and figure out what it looks like

1:11:24

to sell to get someone to say yes and

1:11:26

pay an invoice, those are really big milestones. When

1:11:28

you're venturing into your own business. So

1:11:30

anything that you can kind

1:11:32

of flex your muscles with in that arena, I think it's such

1:11:34

a good idea. I love that advice. And

1:11:37

that's really strong. And I feel like

1:11:39

when we recorded the boss podcast, we

1:11:41

spoke about this a lot about like other

1:11:43

businesses, not necessarily being your end business, but

1:11:45

like some businesses aren't the end thing. They're

1:11:47

like your bridge. They become your bridge. And

1:11:49

then you work out what the next thing

1:11:51

is. Yeah. Some people, I think

1:11:53

will sit and sit doing nothing because I don't

1:11:56

know my purpose. I don't know my passion. I

1:11:58

don't know what I'm supposed to do. And I

1:12:01

think you can continue sitting there and wondering or you can

1:12:03

get out there Try things on

1:12:05

and find your purpose It's

1:12:07

something that happens when you take action not

1:12:09

something that happens when you sit there and

1:12:12

will it to come to you Yeah, I

1:12:14

am please do not fucking meditate on this

1:12:16

like endlessly Like a little

1:12:18

bit of meditation good like constant. No get

1:12:20

off go go somewhere try something do something

1:12:22

you're gonna work out Yeah, I'll

1:12:25

just add to that on the other side of

1:12:27

things go ahead someone say recently and

1:12:30

You don't really know who you

1:12:32

are until you're out of scarcity

1:12:36

and so what I took from that

1:12:38

as If you're

1:12:40

doing things because you're in scarcity, and you just need money

1:12:43

You're never gonna get to really know who you are Because

1:12:47

you're doing things literally you'll do anything

1:12:49

to just survive. You know you're doing

1:12:51

work that you might not necessarily want to do so I

1:12:55

Would say if this was someone that was coming to

1:12:57

me that was that had just got laid off I

1:13:00

would probably lean into like getting some

1:13:03

Type of part-time work, so you're not putting

1:13:05

all this pressure on your new business

1:13:08

To succeed straight away when

1:13:10

like out of alignment because

1:13:13

I think if you're receiving money for stuff. That's like Really

1:13:16

not in alignment, then you start to like what's

1:13:19

wrong with me? You know like

1:13:21

nothing's working, and it's just because you've

1:13:23

not found your groove yet And so

1:13:26

I think I'm really grateful for all

1:13:28

the different part-time Jobs that

1:13:30

I had going on as I was growing my

1:13:32

business because it allowed me to really figure out

1:13:34

what my message was and what I was doing

1:13:36

without needing. I need money now like what can

1:13:38

I sell that's just gonna make money? You know

1:13:40

and that didn't have that I like really found

1:13:42

like oh No, this is what I'm really fired

1:13:44

up about and I had the paychecks coming in

1:13:46

from my part-time gigs on the side So

1:13:49

I'd add that such wise advice isn't spoken about

1:13:51

enough I think we're taught the message like go

1:13:53

all in your business and sometimes actually going all

1:13:56

in is exactly what you said like Having some

1:13:58

money coming in but now

1:14:00

need to know what was the weirdest

1:14:02

almost wonderful side hopefully you had

1:14:04

when saying of your business? Oh

1:14:07

I would have to say painting my

1:14:09

yoga teacher's house and tiling his roof.

1:14:12

I didn't expect that. I love you I would trust

1:14:14

you of my life I would trust you of my

1:14:17

child I would not trust you to tell my roof.

1:14:19

Thanks. Yeah I was living in America

1:14:25

I didn't have my visa so I

1:14:27

was doing cash-in-hand work and

1:14:29

I was really into yoga at the time

1:14:31

and I asked my yoga teacher can

1:14:34

I just do like any odd jobs for

1:14:36

you basically I'll work on your reception I'll

1:14:38

babysit your kids I'll walk your

1:14:40

dogs and he was like do you want

1:14:42

to help with tiling the roof and

1:14:44

I was like I'm totally down to

1:14:46

tiling the roof. I was actually studying

1:14:48

to be a coach at the time

1:14:50

I was at IIN and I had

1:14:52

like the headphones in my

1:14:55

ears listening to the seminars as I was tiling

1:14:57

the roof and I was so happy I

1:14:59

had I had not a penny for my name

1:15:02

but I was the happiest person. I love this

1:15:04

you're giving me Kylie, I don't know how you

1:15:06

say her second name Kite, Kite you know like

1:15:08

the amazing woman on Instagram he like does all the

1:15:11

DIY jobs. Oh no that's definitely

1:15:13

not me no no I was there

1:15:15

to get paid yeah for sure. I was like

1:15:18

clearly you've got some tiling skill going.

1:15:20

No skill. I think I think I think

1:15:22

you probably had to get it redone after I did

1:15:24

it to be honest but it looked nice I bet

1:15:26

it looked nice anyway. Yeah yeah yeah but you you

1:15:28

do what you've got to do and like

1:15:31

it allowed me to dream

1:15:33

about my business in

1:15:35

a way that wasn't putting all this pressure on it and then

1:15:37

I was like oh maybe I'm ready to get

1:15:39

clients and it wasn't like I need this client or I

1:15:41

can't pay my rent you know and

1:15:43

then waitressing like three different restaurants worked

1:15:45

in a juice bar like yoga teaching

1:15:47

like it was all because

1:15:50

I had this vision

1:15:52

for my business and

1:15:55

I didn't want to rush it or put too much

1:15:57

pressure on it too fast but I

1:15:59

did set a goal and that was

1:16:03

as soon as I did a lot of modeling work as

1:16:05

well and promotional work and things like that and

1:16:08

I said as soon as my business makes

1:16:10

in a month what I make from all

1:16:12

this other stuff I'll quit. I didn't say

1:16:14

I'm gonna have three months in the bank, six

1:16:16

months in the bank, 12 months of reserve. I wasn't

1:16:18

thinking like that I was like as soon as I

1:16:21

do it in one month I'm out of here and

1:16:23

I did so the first month I hit was

1:16:25

like I remember exactly what it was it was

1:16:28

1,500 pounds as soon as I made that for

1:16:30

my business I emailed all of my people and

1:16:32

I was like bye I'm

1:16:34

a business owner now I'm going all in

1:16:37

and that was all I need and then

1:16:39

I was like I'm all in I'm committed

1:16:41

because I've proven to myself I found the

1:16:43

alignment and now I'm going. I love this.

1:16:46

I love this. Yeah. Natalie what

1:16:48

was your... nothing that interesting I took it out

1:16:50

of your social media I've always been good at

1:16:52

it. I love this. So

1:16:54

who can you name and drop any of your roles? I

1:16:57

did Nick's. So cool. She told me about this whole

1:17:00

world I didn't know like I knew I wanted to be

1:17:02

an entrepreneur I didn't know anything about the online space or

1:17:04

anything and even back

1:17:06

then I was just very good at social media and she was

1:17:08

like can you be my social media manager I was like sure

1:17:10

I've got nothing else going on don't ask what I do with

1:17:12

my life sure and I loved it I actually loved it and

1:17:15

I did that in my business had fully taken off

1:17:17

as well and I was like I don't want to

1:17:19

like let you down so I just kept doing it

1:17:22

like loved it amazing yeah but nothing as interesting as

1:17:24

tiling a roof. Guys

1:17:26

I ghost wrote cat blocks. Wait

1:17:29

what? I ghost wrote cat

1:17:31

blocks. Cat blocks? Cat blocks.

1:17:34

Babe this deserves the whole episode. Oh

1:17:36

I've got a whole laundry list. What do you

1:17:38

mean? So you know here you can have a

1:17:40

ghost writer when you're writing a novel well guess

1:17:42

what cat blocks have ghost writers too. I

1:17:45

was a ghost writer for a

1:17:48

cat. Like a blog on behalf

1:17:50

of a cat? Okay no sorry. It was

1:17:52

for cat lovers. It was for cat lovers. It

1:17:54

was like what's the latest cool cat

1:17:57

contraption that they can I don't know what cats

1:17:59

do What do they do, scratch, stand, I don't know.

1:18:01

I don't have a cat, I've never had a cat.

1:18:03

But I could write a cat blog, and yeah, I'd

1:18:06

have to write about the latest cat beds, and like,

1:18:08

see the hat. So much you can do to

1:18:10

earn money. Oh my god, so much shit. And

1:18:13

then I used to proofread people's essays for uni.

1:18:16

Could see that. I go through a cake blog,

1:18:18

which I did really enjoy. Yeah, I like baking.

1:18:20

That was fun. That all makes sense. Yeah, that

1:18:22

all makes sense. The cat, yeah, no, I flired.

1:18:24

I have so many things. I was once actually

1:18:26

in a dressing gown, promoting

1:18:29

tiles at some kind of building convention.

1:18:31

This is when you were trying to get your business off the ground?

1:18:33

Oh yeah. Wow. Yeah, I

1:18:35

hustled. I hustled hard. Oh my god. I

1:18:38

was a yes to many a job. Probably

1:18:40

should have been a known reflection, but it's

1:18:42

hilarious. Yeah, I'm going

1:18:44

to move on now for my slightly weird job. I

1:18:46

love this. OK,

1:18:49

so I'm going to do one final one, and then

1:18:51

we'll wrap this up. And again, I

1:18:53

feel like these two are pretty, there's

1:18:56

a similarity through them, so I'm going to

1:18:58

weave them together. So

1:19:01

if you're letting go of the past in

1:19:03

a new life stage, what a piece of

1:19:05

advice do you have for fully embracing your

1:19:08

new life chapter when you're grieving aspects of

1:19:10

the past? And the other question was pretty

1:19:12

similar. It was talking about the

1:19:14

act of surrender, like going through the process of

1:19:17

surrender. I

1:19:21

mean, grief is part of it. And I think don't

1:19:23

resist the grief. Let it take

1:19:25

you, like surrender to the tidal waves

1:19:28

of grief. It's

1:19:30

going to come and go. And something so

1:19:32

beautiful is on the other side. And

1:19:34

trust the unknown, you know? So

1:19:37

many of us try and grip to control because

1:19:40

we're afraid of what's on the other side of

1:19:42

something crumbling. And every time, time

1:19:44

and time again, we see this pattern

1:19:46

in life, which is the crumble, the

1:19:50

rebirth. The rebirth, the

1:19:53

death, the rising, like the

1:19:55

phoenix from the flames. And

1:19:57

trust in life patterns

1:19:59

are also. happening and present in your

1:20:01

life. Whether it's in your love life, whether

1:20:03

it's in your business, like it's happening. It

1:20:05

might not be happening on your timeline, but

1:20:08

it's happening. So curse the grief.

1:20:11

Let yourself grief, like let yourself feel it all.

1:20:13

Like, oh my God, this is what it feels

1:20:15

like to like be, have my heart

1:20:17

broken open into a million pieces. Like, let me

1:20:19

be with it. Let me feel it. Because

1:20:22

the sooner that we feel it, instead of resist

1:20:24

it, we get to move through it.

1:20:26

We get to dance with it. We get to come out the

1:20:28

other side into this beautiful new

1:20:30

expression of ourselves, whatever that might be.

1:20:32

How is that? I feel like it's

1:20:35

reminding me of your Phoenix tattoo. Yeah,

1:20:37

because of her rebirth. Big

1:20:40

one. I remember that one. That

1:20:43

was, you wrote the book of how to do that.

1:20:46

Thank you. It was epic. Last

1:20:48

year I feel like I went through some really

1:20:51

intense grief. And one thing

1:20:53

that I really had to make sure that I

1:20:55

did was not rush into the next to

1:20:57

kind of pretend it wasn't there. Like

1:21:00

I really, and I try, like I

1:21:02

definitely noticed myself falling back into that

1:21:04

pattern of like doing, so I didn't

1:21:06

have to feel. And just allowing myself

1:21:08

to slow down, to take a

1:21:11

pause, even though I didn't know what was on the

1:21:14

other side of it for me, I really just allowed

1:21:16

myself to slow down and be in all of those

1:21:18

feelings. And that's also quite challenging too,

1:21:20

when you run a business and a lot of people want

1:21:22

answers from you, because that's important to them.

1:21:25

That was really challenging to go through that

1:21:27

level of grief and change in

1:21:29

my life while also trying to take care

1:21:31

of other people. And I really had to

1:21:33

just let go of that, of

1:21:36

what other people needed from me and

1:21:39

just do me. And that was really challenging

1:21:41

at the time, but I kept bringing myself

1:21:43

back to that. I reached out

1:21:45

for a lot of support. Like I brought

1:21:47

in an amazing therapist, a really good coach.

1:21:49

I was really honest and open with my

1:21:51

friends about how I felt. I

1:21:53

took breaks from some friends. Like I just did

1:21:56

the things that I needed to do for me.

1:21:58

I went to Europe. three

1:22:00

months, I just did the things that felt

1:22:02

good without needing to know what the answers

1:22:04

were on the other side of it. And

1:22:07

I think that's the power of what you're saying, Serana.

1:22:09

We can almost want to jump to the next chapter to know

1:22:11

that we're going to be okay. Whereas when

1:22:13

you have that trust in yourself, that's going to

1:22:16

be okay anyway, then you can slow down and

1:22:18

really allow yourself to feel all of that. And

1:22:20

I do feel like feeling it all allowed me

1:22:22

to properly close the chapter and move on in

1:22:24

a higher energy and move on

1:22:26

in a way that felt complete and

1:22:29

felt good. And I think both of

1:22:31

you spoke about this kind of the

1:22:33

grieving process and when you hear it

1:22:36

from this side, when you're on the other side of it, it

1:22:38

sounds quite beautiful. And I just want to speak

1:22:40

to you like when you're in it, it's messy

1:22:42

as fuck. Like grieving can look like,

1:22:45

for me, it's always like sitting on my hallway

1:22:47

floor and I'm like, oh, like

1:22:49

having a full, full blown, I

1:22:51

need to be on the floor for some reason, maybe

1:22:53

it's grounding. I don't know. Like sat on the floor

1:22:55

crying and it's ugly as fuck and it's painful as

1:22:57

hell. But I really noticed in

1:22:59

those moments is that like, even

1:23:01

if it is like 0.001% of me is that that small, small

1:23:03

part of me that can

1:23:07

see actually something better might be coming and

1:23:10

it might be tiny. It might be like tiniest

1:23:12

wisp in that moment and that really messy, ugly

1:23:14

moment. But that's the bit

1:23:16

that you get to grasp onto and that's the

1:23:18

bit that you get to realize like, Oh no,

1:23:20

I'm going through the messiness right now. I'm having

1:23:22

this, this death, but like there's going to be

1:23:24

something great on the other side. And

1:23:27

in that too, you know, I think it's

1:23:29

important to name when you're going through something

1:23:31

like that, when you're going through a big

1:23:33

life change or grief in

1:23:35

that setting, you can often think, did I

1:23:37

make the wrong decision? Oh, maybe I regret

1:23:40

what I did now. It would have been

1:23:42

easier if I stayed in that situation or

1:23:44

I shouldn't have, it can be very easy

1:23:46

to let all of that come up and

1:23:49

that's just the fear and not allowing yourself

1:23:51

to buy into that and go backwards. It's

1:23:53

really important because that just prolongs this journey.

1:23:56

There were so many moments I caught myself in that

1:23:58

wouldn't be easier if. I should have, and

1:24:01

I tried to catch myself and it, no, actually

1:24:03

the shortcut is going through it directly, not

1:24:06

allowing myself to keep going back. Yeah.

1:24:08

I remember you saying this to me as well. Like

1:24:11

again, good friend, giving amazing advice and

1:24:13

me just being like, yes, this feels great and not

1:24:15

quite following it. But I remember you saying like, you

1:24:17

need to pull the arrow back right now. Like it's

1:24:19

easier to be doing and doing and doing and going

1:24:21

and going and going, but you need to pull the

1:24:23

arrow back. And I was like, I know I need

1:24:25

to do that, but putting that

1:24:28

into practice was a

1:24:30

complete, it was so alien. It was

1:24:32

so difficult. I think we're often in that pattern of

1:24:34

like, as you said, like moving

1:24:36

forward and doing rather than taking that moment

1:24:38

to just like be in, be in

1:24:40

a winter, be in, be in a stillness. Yeah.

1:24:43

And I also just want to speak to like, when

1:24:46

we're in that death period, when

1:24:48

we're in that winter, it's

1:24:50

actually such a rich time

1:24:52

for introspection and intuition. And

1:24:55

if we're trying to rush forward into

1:24:57

the next phase, we're

1:24:59

thinking, oh, all the goodness is when I get out of

1:25:01

the death season and actually like a lot of the goodness

1:25:03

is in the death. And like, if

1:25:05

we can really recognize, oh my God, I'm in a

1:25:08

death portal right now. Like instead of like, I want

1:25:10

to get out of here, like, oh, wow, like this

1:25:12

is what it feels like. And that's what I want

1:25:14

to hear from me because my soul wants to learn

1:25:17

something in this death portal. So let

1:25:19

me make sure that I, you know,

1:25:21

I always think of like swimming underwater and

1:25:23

like you're in this like murky bottom of

1:25:25

the ocean, but there's like crystals on the

1:25:27

bottom of the ocean that you need to

1:25:29

like pick up and get and like

1:25:31

take into your life journey. So it's like,

1:25:33

what are the lessons that my soul

1:25:35

came here to learn in this

1:25:37

specific death portal? Right? Like

1:25:40

I should have done this differently, but

1:25:42

like, what am I meant

1:25:44

to learn from this experience? What actually

1:25:46

is something for me to

1:25:49

take responsibility for me to

1:25:51

either clean up or learn from for next time so

1:25:53

this doesn't become a repeating pattern? I mean, that I'm

1:25:55

learning in my leadership, something that I'm learning about relationships,

1:25:57

something that I'm learning about friendships, something

1:25:59

that I've done. learning about myself,

1:26:02

learning about boundaries, and that richness

1:26:04

of guidance is

1:26:07

only available in the death portal. So

1:26:10

be there and stay there and

1:26:12

be with yourself long enough

1:26:14

to really allow these lessons and this

1:26:16

wisdom to be revealed to you. The

1:26:20

way you described that when you were picking the

1:26:22

crystals in the murky water was so, so,

1:26:25

such a beautiful image but it's so true, getting

1:26:27

those bits of wisdom and taking them with you.

1:26:30

I'm gonna wrap this up because I feel like

1:26:32

I will literally talk to you both for hours

1:26:35

and hours and hours and hours. I love and

1:26:37

adore you both so, so much. There

1:26:39

are literally no words and I'm so grateful to

1:26:41

you at this time with you both. you