0:04

Welcome to the brilliance effect

0:06

podcast. My name is Abby lemon.

0:09

And for this podcast, think

0:11

ADHD, coaching meets business

0:13

mentoring with a positive psychology

0:16

twist. So

0:18

we're going to be talking about all about the

0:20

life and business of the neurodivergent adult,

0:22

which includes me by the way, when navigating

0:25

the ups downs and everything in

0:27

between. And how to find the

0:29

joy in every day. So

0:32

let's dive in. So

0:34

welcome to episode one of the brilliance

0:36

effect podcast. My name is Abby

0:38

lemon and I'm an ADHD coach

0:41

and business mentor, and I help

0:43

ADHD adults all over the world

0:45

to run better businesses, navigate

0:47

their later in life diagnosis and

0:49

generally manage their ADHD

0:51

brilliantly. I'm also ADHD

0:54

and dyspraxic myself, I'm heavily

0:57

peri-menopausal. And as we know.

0:59

Peri-menopause and ADHD

1:02

together, they don't play

1:04

too nicely. Am I right? Yeah.

1:06

I can hear that. I'm right here. So

1:09

I'm here today for this first episode,

1:12

I want to share a little bit about my

1:14

own story. My lived experience

1:16

as an ADHD adult and as

1:18

a business owner. And my own diagnostic

1:21

journey. Plus a few things that

1:23

have helped me step into my own brilliance

1:25

over the last few years. Later

1:29

episodes, I'm going to get some amazing guests

1:31

on. We're going to talk about what happiness

1:33

means to them as an ADHD. How

1:35

they found their joy every day. As

1:38

an adult neurodivergent so

1:40

there's going to be lots of different things coming up,

1:42

but I feel like the first episode.

1:44

To introduce you to me.

1:47

I was a good starting point.

1:49

So let's start at the beginning. Shall we? Now

1:52

ADHD has been in the media.

1:54

A lot recently. If you're in any

1:57

way, neurodivergent, if you underst,

1:59

if you're feel like you're kind of realizing

2:01

those things. For yourself, you

2:04

would have seen some of the

2:06

media coverage. Around ADHD.

2:08

Now, one of the things that's is

2:11

important to note that ADHD

2:13

actually shows up really differently

2:15

for girls and women, which is why

2:17

lots of us don't recognize it until

2:20

later in life. So,

2:22

what are the signs of ADHD in

2:24

girls and women? You know, why have we missed.

2:27

Well, it could be that as

2:29

a kid, you, if you fail to give close

2:31

attention to things, or maybe you make careless

2:33

mistakes. Maybe you just were

2:36

always told, are you listening? Start

2:38

listening, you know were you always told,

2:40

could try harder isn't is lazy.

2:42

Isn't working hard enough. And was that always

2:44

in your school reports? Because it certainly was

2:47

for mine. You know, I had difficulty

2:49

with organization. I

2:51

disliked tasks that required kind of

2:53

sustained mental effort. Distracted

2:56

daydreaming acting impulsively.

2:58

We'll talk about that again in a minute. And

3:00

you know, the hyperactivity in girls and

3:02

women doesn't always translate into physical

3:05

hyperactivity. A lot of the time

3:07

it can be in our thoughts. And that was

3:09

certainly the case for me as

3:11

a, as a kid as well. Nate,

3:13

you know, it was, it was kind of difficult to

3:16

feel like I fit it in. I felt

3:18

like I was always, always on the

3:20

outskirts. I felt like I.

3:22

Was. Constantly told

3:25

to try harder. Constantly told that I

3:27

wasn't trying hard enough, constantly

3:29

felt that I wasn't good enough and constantly

3:32

felt that I was just on the outside. So

3:35

all of those signs and symptoms that aren't

3:37

necessarily the traditional paradigm

3:40

of somebody who is ADHD as a kid.

3:42

So the naughty boy, or this person excluded

3:44

from school. That wasn't me, but there

3:47

was lots of other signs that, that

3:49

at the time, just weren't, weren't picked up

3:51

on because it wasn't being talked about. But

3:55

when you take all of those boxes of all those signs

3:57

and symptoms, and I always felt

3:59

different. I felt like I really

4:01

couldn't do life properly. And

4:04

you just constantly being told that you're not trying

4:06

hard enough and this recipe.

4:09

This kind of mix of being

4:11

told you're not good enough, not fitting in, not

4:13

feeling like your worthy and not

4:15

feeling like your lifeing or be able

4:17

to human, like other people leads

4:20

to this cocktail of low self-esteem low

4:22

self-worth. And by my teams,

4:25

I felt unlovable. I felt.

4:27

Broken. You know, the masking

4:29

really reached its peak. And

4:32

the only time I actually felt like I

4:34

fitted in was in my late teens.

4:36

When I used recreational drugs, I

4:38

felt like the racing was somewhere that

4:40

we could. All be on the same

4:43

level. You know, the playing field was level. We were all

4:45

the same. We were all kind of messy

4:47

and doing things, but actually it was my way

4:49

of kind of trying to self-medicate. Trying

4:52

to fix myself and trying to fit in.

4:54

The other thing that happens, I think with

4:56

ADHD is, and the feeling

4:59

different, and then not wanting to fit in as we make

5:01

some other. You know, with the combine that with the impulsiveness,

5:03

we make some really bad choices.

5:07

We make some choices that, you know, whether

5:09

that's relationships, whether that's things

5:11

we do you know, as we

5:13

can be very impulsive

5:15

and take risks that are.

5:18

You know, above and beyond. What other people

5:21

would take because we're somehow just trying to feel normal

5:23

and, and fit in whatever that, that means.

5:27

So for me. This impulsiveness

5:30

has got me in trouble. More

5:32

than once. And I'll give you an

5:34

example of that. So I broke

5:36

my ankle three times now, actually.

5:38

One sort of rapes rang when I was 16.

5:41

Once sliding down the banisters of

5:43

the escalator at Clapham north

5:45

cheap. And once

5:48

on a moped when I was on with T on

5:50

the moped with T Wednesday, And savvy instructors in Greece.

5:52

Now that is a whole other story that we won't

5:54

go into today. But there is all

5:56

of those things were examples

5:58

of me being impulsive and mean taking risks

6:01

and just doing something bloody stupid.

6:03

I broke my wrist roller skating on a huge concrete

6:06

ramp because a kid on a Skeeter

6:08

dad, me to do it. So I did, I've gone

6:10

off to warehouse parties with strangers.

6:12

I quit my first degree. I

6:15

moved to London on my own when I was 20

6:17

to work at ministry of sound. There was, you know, I've

6:19

quit my jobs, I've switched careers. I've

6:21

had multiple pathways and

6:24

all of which have been in this seat

6:26

desperately trying to seek out and be.

6:29

I'd fit in and be kind of normal

6:31

if you like, whatever that is. And I've always felt

6:33

really flaky because of it. It

6:36

felt like I never really finished

6:38

things. I didn't have a mapped

6:40

out career. I didn't finish my

6:42

degree. First of all, the first degree I took

6:44

I've been divorced. You know, it

6:46

all kind of leads to this feeling

6:49

of being broken or not really

6:51

being able to. To life properly.

6:53

And this feeling really followed

6:55

me into adulthood. You

6:58

know, on the outside, I was sparkly,

7:00

fun party Abbey. And on the

7:02

inside, I felt absolutely just like a fraud.

7:05

It felt like my whole life.

7:08

I was just kind of masking and pretending

7:10

to be. Someone who I wasn't.

7:13

Because inside this, the real me had

7:15

this feeling of being broken and

7:17

it had this feeling of being just not good

7:19

enough. So, when you

7:21

feel like that you start attracting things into

7:23

your life that confirms your brain, that you

7:25

are indeed broken. I tolerated,

7:28

oh my goodness. So many abusive relationships.

7:31

Crappy jobs that would soul destroying.

7:34

Poverty, loneliness, all

7:36

of that stuff, because I didn't understand

7:38

that I wasn't broken. There

7:40

was just a fundamental difference in how

7:43

I thought and how I did things

7:45

and the actions and, and thought processes

7:47

and the things. And I just thought it was

7:49

me. I thought that others found

7:51

things easy and I

7:53

was just not a good human

7:55

because I found things so much harder. I thought

7:57

everybody had to try you. This

7:59

800 times harder and the

8:01

same as I did, but they were getting it right. And

8:04

somehow I wasn't. So,

8:07

you know, I kept on masking. I had my two children

8:10

and. Eventually.

8:12

You know, trying not to feel like a Liza because

8:15

I just. You know, had caused

8:17

yet another argument with my ex-husband

8:19

because I'd left another glass on the side.

8:21

I'd not picked something up that was there for a few

8:23

days. Hunt clean the house.

8:25

I forgot something really important. All

8:28

of those were signs

8:30

of undiagnosed ADHD.

8:32

And I, but I didn't know how to pull it together.

8:35

I didn't know, I just felt like the worst

8:38

person in the world because I couldn't pull it

8:40

together. And I just didn't know why. And

8:42

I feel really sad in some ways, because

8:44

that was definitely part of the reason

8:47

that sort of led to our downfall

8:50

was as a couple and why we divorced because.

8:53

I didn't know it was my ADHD symptoms.

8:55

I just thought I was a shit person and

8:58

was literally the worst, the worst

9:00

person ever that couldn't do the things other people

9:02

could. And I couldn't understand why. So

9:05

eventually though. All of this stuff,

9:07

all of this kind of challenge and battle

9:09

that kind of, I went through, I, things

9:12

took a turn. Now.

9:15

On the outset, it felt like this turn

9:17

was something negative,

9:20

but it led to where I am

9:22

now, which is doing a job. I love

9:24

having a life. I love feeling good about

9:26

myself and actually having viewing my

9:28

life through this lens of self-compassion.

9:31

So I'll tell you about this thing. Now

9:33

I, I got this job. About 10 years

9:36

ago, it was on the

9:38

outside. A really

9:40

fabulous job, good money, lots of support.

9:43

It was a corporate position, so it had lots of regulation

9:45

and rules and stuff. Lots of lovely processes

9:48

to keep me on track. And I thought

9:50

it was going to be such a, such

9:52

a relief to fit into this job

9:54

that it kind of all mapped out and structured.

9:57

And for me as an ADHD, I

9:59

actually genuinely thrive with structure.

10:02

I am not, you know, without it, if things

10:04

are too nebulous to a Morpheus and

10:06

I just cannot I can't function,

10:08

but with some structure in the right way. Perfect.

10:12

But I absolutely floundered.

10:15

The rules were always unclear. The structures

10:18

were always unclear. The

10:21

targets were totally ambiguous.

10:23

I had five managers in two years.

10:26

And by the end of the two years. I

10:28

just wasn't being, I wasn't able

10:30

to do this job for some reason. Everybody

10:33

else seemed to find it easy. But for me,

10:35

I was not thriving and I kept asking

10:37

for help, but I just couldn't, I couldn't

10:39

get it together for the first time in my life.

10:42

I felt absolutely

10:44

like this was it. I just couldn't get

10:46

it together. I really was that broken human

10:48

that I thought I was. And I was ready to

10:50

drive my car off the road, just so I

10:52

didn't have to go into that job. Because

10:56

it couldn't admit that I wanted to leave

10:58

and I couldn't admit that it was something I didn't. You

11:00

know that I'd failed up. But I

11:02

just wanted it to stop. So I thought if I

11:04

could just, you know, injure myself enough

11:06

to go to hospital, then I wouldn't have to go in

11:08

ridiculous. Right. My

11:11

anxiety went through the roof and actually

11:13

I got help. I asked

11:15

for help and was diagnosed with clinical

11:17

depression. And, and

11:20

then was also diagnosed with bipolar T

11:22

and it was essentially just managed out

11:24

of that job. I

11:27

guess you would call this extreme

11:29

burnout and absolute breakdown.

11:32

The years of masking of holding

11:34

it together, just came crashing down

11:36

in one sweep. And I look

11:38

back now. And I can see

11:41

all the signs of undiagnosed

11:43

ADHD, and I

11:45

really believe it. Wasn't bipolar.

11:48

I really believe that actually, because they, they

11:50

medicate, they tried to medicate me. They

11:53

you know, I had therapy, but

11:55

it just I think it was an extreme,

11:58

emotional breakdown caused

12:00

by years of feeling like, and being told

12:02

that I wasn't. Wasn't doing things right. That

12:05

I wasn't good enough. Years

12:08

of overcompensating years

12:10

of rejection sensitive dysphoria.

12:13

Just all led to this huge breakdown

12:16

and I hope it gives you an idea of the mental

12:18

and emotional carnage that going

12:20

undiagnosed for so long can cause, you know,

12:22

to be diagnosed with bipolar, to be, to

12:24

experience a breakdown in that way.

12:27

It is so damaging and

12:29

is why we need to be having this conversation

12:32

around ADHD and around diagnoses

12:34

for neurodivergent humans. Now,

12:37

I was lucky I've come out of the other side

12:39

of that. And I got the support that I needed,

12:41

but some people don't, some people don't

12:43

make it out of that carnage because

12:46

it is just too hard for them on their

12:48

own. So we need to keep talking about this.

12:50

And I do believe that this is the difference between.

12:53

When somebody says, oh, we're

12:55

all a bit ADHD. Aren't we, I

12:57

firmly refute that. I think

12:59

we're not all a bit ADHD. What

13:02

we are. Yes, we can be distracted

13:04

as humans. Yes, we can all be we'll

13:07

have brain fog. Yes, we can all have those

13:09

days where we're just not on our game.

13:11

Yes, we can feel rejected

13:14

and we can feel sensitivity around that.

13:16

But it's the difference between those clinical

13:19

symptoms? Causing chaos

13:21

and carnage and severely

13:23

affecting your life. For your whole

13:25

life, you know, ADHD is not something you

13:27

develop, you have it because it's a neurodevelopmental

13:30

condition. So that is the difference.

13:32

And when someone says, oh, we're all we are all a bit

13:34

like that. That's not the case at

13:36

all. You know, we, yes, you can have similar symptoms,

13:39

but this kind of emotional or mental

13:41

carnage that may and others experience

13:44

as an undiagnosed, neurodivergent human

13:46

is. So much so

13:48

painful. But

13:51

this is like I say, this is where it turned

13:53

around now. What came

13:55

out of this big mess was this huge

13:57

desire to learn about how my own

13:59

brain and my mind works. To

14:02

rediscover my identity

14:04

and who I was, because at that

14:06

point, I remember, I remember standing in

14:08

front of my wardrobe. Looking

14:11

at all my clothes and thinking. What

14:13

does happy, even where, where do I even wire, who

14:15

is, who am I? It was like this complete

14:17

breakdown of the ego and and sort of. In

14:20

a place of, you know, hat to rebuild. So

14:23

I did what any good ADHD? And

14:26

immediately signed up for degree courses

14:28

in biological psychology

14:30

and molecular biology. But

14:33

I did, you know, Another true ADHD

14:36

style. I did actually bail out of that degree in

14:38

the final year as it just got all about the maths.

14:40

I got kind of bored because I found it a bit too

14:42

hard for my brain at that point.

14:44

And I felt like I'd done the interesting

14:47

bit, the bit that intrigued me. And as we know.

14:50

As ADHD as it's sometimes hard to sustain

14:52

things when the dopamine drops off. So I

14:54

stopped that, but I've read all of the psychology

14:57

books. You know, I wanted aside

14:59

from the molecular biology and the kind of physics

15:01

that went alongside that. The psychology

15:03

element was what interests me. I read all

15:05

the books I read. I watched the, the programs

15:08

that documentaries, I wanted to understand

15:10

how women especially had been treated in the

15:12

psychiatric system. You know, since

15:14

the day dots, you know, and I, that it fascinated

15:17

me, you know, battle and hospital and all the other.

15:20

The other places. And the fact that

15:22

women were put inside these places

15:24

for. You know, for being

15:27

a little too Sparky for having maybe

15:29

PMT for wanting sex,

15:31

you know, all of this stuff was considered psychiatric,

15:34

psychiatric. And work considered kind

15:36

of lunatic behavior. And

15:38

people, you know, women were institutionalized

15:41

because of it. And this was fascinating to me, and

15:43

this is what made me angry and it made me kind of rise

15:46

up a little bit in my passion to learn more about

15:48

myself and to others. So

15:50

I decided at that point, That

15:53

I wanted to help other people. And

15:56

I thought this is where I'm, this is what my calling

15:58

is. I want to. You know, really do something that's

16:00

going to support people. So. I

16:03

impulsively again, decided I

16:05

think acupuncture is the thing for me. So

16:07

I signed up for a full time degree course.

16:10

Which I did alongside running my

16:12

business full time. At that point, I'd started

16:14

a brand design agency and was, was running

16:16

that very successfully. And there's this,

16:18

this kind of ADHD urge to manipulate

16:21

time and feel like I've got.

16:24

At least three lifetimes running at the same

16:26

time, but, you know, I did actually finish

16:28

my degree, which for me was such,

16:31

such a a fantastic

16:33

achievement to, to really put

16:35

behind me this feeling that I was flaky.

16:38

And I didn't finish things when I stood there at my

16:40

graduation with a hat on and all of that staff

16:42

I found that it was actually really emotional

16:44

and not because, you know, I suddenly

16:46

had a degree, but that I'd proven to myself

16:49

that I could do it. So. So

16:51

I realized that the end of my degree, after I'd done

16:53

a year of clinical practice that acupuncture,

16:56

wasn't really the thing. I

16:59

loved what I did on, I love the patients

17:01

I worked with. But it wasn't, you know, they were

17:03

coming to me with a shoulder thing. They were coming to me

17:05

with a knee thing and. I

17:07

was you know, it wasn't that, that

17:09

I was really holding the space for

17:12

it was holding the space for all

17:14

of the trauma that had come up through

17:16

the pandemic, because this was in, this was 3

17:18

20, 21. So the pandemic

17:20

had kind of triggered a lot of people's

17:23

old traumas, whether that's ancestral, whether

17:25

that's for them and it's coming out

17:27

into their body, it was manifesting in their body,

17:29

in different things. And really what these people

17:31

needed was. To

17:33

be heard to be, to have that space

17:36

held for them. And this was

17:38

the bit that I absolutely loved.

17:40

So this is the bit where. It

17:42

really got interesting for me because yes, I had spent

17:45

four years doing this degree, but it had led

17:47

me to what I felt was my purpose

17:50

now. There is a

17:52

reason for me kind of tangenting off into

17:54

this kind of into my background and things

17:56

like that. So, By

17:58

this point, I was a single mom of teens

18:00

and I was running my brand agency

18:02

business and had also been

18:05

reading a lot about ADHD.

18:08

I was in the process in 2020

18:10

or 2019, actually of pivoting

18:13

my business into coaching consultancy.

18:16

Because I really grown

18:18

tired of, you know, doing

18:20

these, these, this brand work

18:23

with companies that weren't, that dialed

18:25

in, they were, it was, you were presenting

18:27

to leadership teams that. Weren't

18:30

all that interested. You know, you might have the founder

18:32

that was interested, but it all felt very kind of

18:34

surface level and fake. But

18:36

what I loved was talking

18:39

to people about their purpose, their mission,

18:41

their vision, their goals, and their values

18:43

and all of that really GC stuff. And

18:45

that was the bit I wanted to hold on to and

18:48

not the design stuff. So I was pivoting my business

18:50

to be. So to support

18:52

people growing their business, but also into that personal

18:54

development. And everything

18:57

changed that year for me. So

19:01

I did. What any good ADHD

19:03

would do and, you know, I've pivoted

19:06

my business. And after a late night

19:08

researching positive psychology,

19:10

I signed up the next day for a master's

19:12

degree in applied positive psychology

19:14

and coaching psychology. Check

19:16

me out, trying to feel validated and regular,

19:18

like a normal human, but. For

19:21

me, this is where the game actually changed.

19:24

I'd managed to pivot my business. And

19:26

I noticed that ADHD was being talked

19:28

about more than ever before. And

19:32

for me as someone who's always talked too

19:34

fast. Yeah. Yeah,

19:36

you got me. Ben rather energetic a

19:38

bit all over the place being called too

19:40

loud, too. You know too much.

19:43

To introvert, to extrovert all

19:45

of the twos. I really resonated

19:47

with it. And I thought, yes, maybe I am,

19:50

but I didn't really know that much about

19:52

it. But because I'd

19:54

signed up for this master's degree and I was working

19:56

with the psychology department. At

19:59

the university of east London, they

20:01

I was offered the opportunity

20:03

to have a, an assessment

20:05

for ADHD, dyspraxia,

20:08

dyslexia, all of those things. And

20:10

I absolutely jumped at it because I'd also

20:12

had that there waiting times with the NHS

20:14

were really, really long. So

20:17

I jumped on it. After what was a

20:19

lengthy morning of assessments and a really

20:21

deep dive into my past. I was

20:23

diagnosed with ADHD and

20:25

dyspraxia. What

20:28

a relief. You would think the

20:30

dyspraxia makes total sense? You know, dyspraxia

20:33

is actually where you're not sure about the position

20:35

in your body in relation to the space of things.

20:37

And I've always been absolutely terrible

20:39

at anything where I have to hit something with a

20:42

rocket or a stick or anything

20:44

where there's something moving towards me. Absolutely

20:46

awful. And the ADHD made so

20:49

much sense. So of course. Well,

20:51

any good ADHD I would do. I really

20:53

hyper-focused and dialed into

20:56

what that man, what the symptoms? Well, you

20:58

know, How strongly

21:00

I saw myself in all the literature

21:02

that I read. But this initial

21:05

relief that I felt. Was really

21:07

was really intense. But

21:09

it was not long lasting. Shortly

21:12

after that is, came this

21:14

wave of almost

21:16

rage and anger, that

21:18

things should have been so different

21:21

for me. They should have been different. And

21:23

they would have been different if I'd have only known

21:26

and all of these thoughts were coming up. Now

21:28

I know there is nothing we can do about the past.

21:30

We cannot change it. And these are not constructive

21:33

thoughts. But they happened. And

21:36

then the grief, the sadness of

21:38

what could have been and where I could

21:40

be now and, you know, relationships that

21:42

I maybe didn't mess up. And all

21:45

of this stuff was. It was

21:47

all encompassing. It really hit me

21:49

out of the bloom. And was not something

21:52

I was prepared for this,

21:54

looking back at my whole life through this

21:56

new ADHD lens. And I wanted

21:58

to kind of reach back into the past

22:00

and give labia. Hog and

22:02

say, it's going to be all right. And this is,

22:05

you're not broken. This is who you are.

22:07

Embrace it. And

22:09

I hadn't, because I hadn't anticipated that. But

22:13

if, you know, I have the tools as a

22:15

coach, as somebody who's very interested in personal

22:17

development with a deep understanding of psychology

22:20

and all of that. I had the tools.

22:22

Two. Really work through

22:24

it and work on myself, which was

22:26

it was a journey. And what came

22:28

out of that diagnosis was actually,

22:31

you know, after I'd worked through these different emotions,

22:33

which are totally fine to feel, but it

22:36

was, you know, it was tough. This

22:38

huge amount of self-compassion.

22:42

This huge amount of kindness for myself

22:45

that I'd never felt before and a huge,

22:47

huge, huge amount of self-love.

22:50

Something, I had never felt about myself

22:52

before. I'd always had

22:54

this feeling that I was just rubbish.

22:56

But through this diagnostic process and

22:58

three, this ADHD journey, I have found

23:01

a love and a joy and who I

23:03

am as a person. That I didn't

23:06

actually know was that before. And

23:08

it came at a time where my identity was already

23:11

at a massive state of flux. You know, I'm

23:13

getting older. I'm 46 now. My

23:15

hormones were changing. Like

23:17

things were happening. Kids, my kids are getting

23:19

older, you know, I'm going to be a grandma in

23:21

October. Things are my identity

23:24

and the kind of fundamental blocks of who I

23:26

am. Are really starting to change.

23:29

And it with that, with this diagnosis,

23:32

with this, like looking back at the past

23:34

Having this permission to now unmask

23:36

and rediscover my identity and find out

23:38

who I actually am as a person. It

23:41

was a lot. And as my. Estrogen

23:43

levels were dropping you know, for my

23:45

age and my ability to mask

23:47

and pretend was also dropping.

23:50

It was like my whole ego was dismantled

23:52

and I looked in the mirror and saw

23:55

somebody completely different someone

23:57

who's actually old. So older,

23:59

somebody who is. Has been

24:01

through a lot, someone who

24:03

I actually love and somebody

24:06

who is kind and has so

24:08

much to give and in spite of,

24:10

and because of their

24:13

neurodivergence and the experiences

24:15

that they've been through, both because of the

24:18

ADHD and because, or, and. And

24:20

it's because of just life. And someone

24:22

who's worked a hundred times harder to get to

24:24

this point, and it's still got to this point.

24:27

And it was like my. Flaky

24:30

and eclectic background had all

24:32

suddenly come together into what

24:35

was essentially my life's work, which is supporting

24:38

ADHD is supporting other business owners.

24:40

Advocating for women with

24:42

ADHD, especially in perimenopause.

24:46

So going deep with my identity

24:48

was the first part of me really

24:51

coming home to myself. The

24:53

second part was my vision for the future.

24:56

Because this identity piece was so

24:58

important when that started to come together.

25:01

I had a real vision for where

25:03

I wanted to go and what I wanted my legacy

25:05

to be. And I'd always live kind of day to

25:07

day before set unrealistic goals that

25:09

were actually someone else's goals. But

25:12

now felt different. All

25:14

of those eclectic jobs, the career paths,

25:16

the finished and unfinished study you

25:18

know, all of it made total sense and I pretty

25:20

much use all of it in my coaching work

25:22

now, which is amazing. And having

25:24

that clear vision for where you want to go

25:27

is so important because if you don't

25:29

have that, as ADHD, as we are praying

25:31

to squiggling up our careers,

25:33

we are praying to going off on the long road

25:36

on a tangent. But if you've got that north

25:38

star, that's kind of shining in the right direction.

25:40

Even if you're going through the woods this time, or going

25:42

down a different pathway, if

25:44

you look up and see your north star, you're kind

25:47

of going ahead in the right direction. Even if it

25:49

feels like it's a little bit of a journey. So

25:51

that vision was also important.

25:54

And then the last thing actually was having

25:56

a bit of a plan and a strategy about the tactical

25:59

steps I needed to take. And some of

26:01

that was really ADHD related.

26:03

So managing time. Managing myself

26:05

managing money. And some of it

26:08

was me just putting all of the business

26:10

strategy work I did with clients and applying it

26:12

to my own business because we are our own worst

26:14

clients. Right. And getting some

26:16

accountability really helped as well. And

26:18

I'm going to talk in other episodes about how

26:21

accountability can work for you. Some of the tools

26:23

that really work for, for me and for

26:25

others as well. But I want to leave

26:27

you with this. So there's no one

26:30

thing. One tactic that took

26:32

me from that emotional burnout to accepting

26:34

to the place of accepting my brilliance.

26:37

Now ADHD looks different for me

26:39

than it might do for you and for every

26:41

other ADHD or narrow divergent out

26:44

there, because we are divergent

26:46

within our neurodiversity. But.

26:49

The biggest gift that you can give yourself

26:51

if you're self realized or if you're diagnosed

26:54

or diagnosed later in life, especially.

26:57

Is that self compassion and kindness

27:00

for yourself now? And that self

27:02

compassion and kindness for you in the past

27:04

as well. You haven't missed out

27:06

on anything. You've got nothing to be ashamed

27:09

about. You were

27:11

doing life assuming that the playing

27:13

field was always level when absolutely

27:16

it was not. And you've done brilliantly.

27:19

So please, if you take anything away

27:21

from this podcast today, it's that. Trying

27:24

to find that little glimmer of

27:26

self-compassion and self-love inside

27:28

you. And reach out there is a massive

27:30

community of ADHD and

27:33

other neurodivergence out there. You can

27:35

reach out to me. You can reach out to, you know, or

27:37

any of the platforms. You will find people talking

27:39

about it and normalizing it. And community

27:41

for me has also played a

27:43

massive role in how

27:46

I've got to this point where I'm really leveraging

27:48

my own brilliance in life and in

27:50

business. So

27:54

I hope you've enjoyed listening to the brilliance

27:56

of fact podcast episode one, we

27:58

will be back with more episodes,

28:01

more stories from other ADHD years

28:03

in the future, but please hit the subscribe

28:06

button. Or come and find me on

28:08

any of the social media platforms.