0:00

Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and sign

0:02

up with code swing. All new customers

0:04

will receive two hundred dollars in free bets

0:06

when you sign up today using code swing.

0:08

Plus Five lucky customers will win a

0:10

one hundred thousand dollar free bet, gambling

0:13

problem called one eight hundred 589 ninety nine sixty

0:15

six. When you went over physically present in Ohio, eligibility

0:17

restrictions apply, terms at draft gains dot com slash

0:19

sportsbooks, subject to regulatory licensing requirements. One per customer,

0:22

two hundred dollars issued is a twenty five dollar free balance, no

0:24

purchase necessary for sweepstakes, lower prohibited, and day

0:26

draft kings is allowed to operate in Ohio. See terms

0:28

at DKNG dot c o slash

0:29

o h. Saving lives means staying

0:31

informed, knowing the day of using counterfeit

0:34

prescription pills can help those you care about

0:36

and keep our community safe. As a

0:38

parent, educator, neighbor,

0:39

or friend, we all play a role in building

0:41

safe and healthy futures for ourselves and

0:43

our loved ones. Do your part.

0:45

Take the first step today. Visit

0:47

get smart about drugs dot com to access

0:49

education prevention, and treatment

0:51

resources. Countervir prescription pills

0:53

laced with fentanyl are deadly. Be their

0:55

protector. Be informed. Visit

0:57

get smart about drugs dot com.

1:11

Welcome the

1:16

clam jam.

1:17

It's the pothole barcodes for the green spot.

1:19

I'm the delicious. Nick delicious. And

1:23

I am the dog of ramble top everybody.

1:25

How are you guys doing on this fantastic fucking

1:27

Monday night? Some of you guys are saying,

1:29

what are these dudes doing on this

1:32

podcast? We've never listened to these

1:34

bros before. We're not really Not

1:36

really bros. Bros,

1:38

but we're just two guys. We're buddies.

1:40

Middle aged assholes halfway to seventy

1:42

doing podcasts. Oh, don't say that. Why the

1:44

fuck would you say that? I mean, I

1:46

would just Oh, god.

1:49

That sounds awful. Your wife should

1:51

shit man. Holy fuck. Well, I

1:53

mean, what do you want me to do about it?

1:55

You get old, you get saggy? In

1:58

in retrospect is now that you put it that way, I mean,

2:00

it seems kinda cool because I feel like

2:01

I've lived. It's it's

2:04

it's it's it's not these these last Number

2:06

go past seventy eight, my fingers crossed here. Seventy

2:09

eight over. I keep drinking the way I do.

2:11

But no, man. Like, fuck, I've done

2:13

a lot in thirty five, thirty six years. Maybe

2:15

another thirty six years in know what? I'm I'm okay

2:17

with that. And I haven't done shit that I want to. I

2:19

mean, I'm not proud of anything I've done besides

2:22

my kids, but I've done a lot every day.

2:24

Every day, I sit down oh,

2:26

yeah, I love my family fiercely, and I'm

2:28

proud of what I've accomplished with my wife.

2:30

But, yeah, every day, I'd every morning I

2:32

wake up, I said, there's so much more shit I

2:34

wanna do in life. You don't wanna travel

2:36

the world. Used to I couldn't give fuck

2:38

about seeing the world. Mhmm. I wanna travel

2:40

the world. I wanna meet people from all

2:42

over. I wanna I wanna experience

2:44

different cultures. I wanna continue to travel

2:46

the country with my friend. Different

2:49

live shows, more live shows. We

2:51

need to further though. I I'm about

2:53

all about it, man. They're they're indeed for daddy.

2:55

I wanna do at least one a month. Do

2:58

I get a hot rod in your ass? Fucking

3:00

Yeah. Give me that raw daddy. Yeah. What?

3:03

We did the tour. What if I went to my employer and said,

3:05

listen. Maybe three months off.

3:08

I'm doing the bravo tour. I say, well,

3:10

you're fired. And I'd say, well, this is the this

3:12

is the fork in the road runner. Gonna

3:14

figure this out. I mean, I don't think we could

3:16

do like a legit tour tour, but I think we could

3:18

do like a you don't think we

3:20

could do like a twenty city tour I

3:22

mean, I think we could, but the

3:24

question is, is if it could if

3:27

it could be income generating to where

3:29

we could not Yeah. I think it could.

3:32

You think so? Yeah. I mean, you you three

3:34

or four spots in Texas alone. For sure.

3:36

I mean, we could definitely do that. But I mean, California

3:38

three or four box, and you're right halfway there at

3:40

that point. I mean, I'm totally cool with, you

3:42

know, taking a day off throughout the, like, throughout

3:44

the week, okay, at the end of the week and doing, like, Friday,

3:46

Saturdays gets someplace. like,

3:48

gigs and I mean, if

3:50

we did that, you know Come back home. Maybe

3:52

next three or four in California twice

3:54

a week or so. season and then, like, two

3:56

in Europe.

3:57

I mean, look at that.

3:59

Yeah. Twice a month. I mean, world

4:01

tour. Yeah. Dude, I promise we would fuck

4:04

up Ticketmaster so much worse than a tail swifty --

4:06

I had a thought about. -- that'd be sweet.

4:08

Yeah. We'd have people in their jacking off and

4:10

still you know, there weren't a people jacking off

4:12

during t swizzles ticket thing. They'd

4:14

be jacking off one hour. No. Well,

4:17

I'm I'm I'm sure there was.

4:19

Let's speak for everybody. Hey.

4:22

always say thanks to our new page. Yeah. Let's do

4:24

it. Let's do it. Oh,

4:26

I got normal car

4:28

power. That is Now, fuck you to summon the genie.

4:30

Normal. normal, normal,

4:33

nimble, normal counter.

4:35

That's a hard word. I wish Looks like a

4:37

lovely person. Someone should send us an email

4:39

and say, This is how you pronounce

4:41

that shit before you butcher it up. I think it's a

4:43

spell chucky did to transfer his soul into that

4:45

doll. Oh, it's Chuck a lot of

4:47

them. Thanks for the Patreon pledge. We

4:49

appreciate you. And next we got Adam.

4:51

Hold on. Three days. Thank you

4:53

very much, mister Adam. Big Adam

4:56

or I gotta Adam Rod. I got a friend

4:58

named Adam. I'm calling Adam though, and he gets

5:00

he gets upset. I said, Adam, and he says, that's

5:02

not my fucking name. Well, then

5:04

fucking change it. I don't know what you want me to do

5:06

about. Yeah. We didn't name me that. I don't respect

5:08

people's wishes. I'll tell you that. Mhmm. Eternity

5:11

Hillsman. Thank you, Jeremy.

5:15

Thank you. Even though you've chosen

5:17

a life of prostitution and dancing,

5:19

you've somehow giving us time

5:21

here at the Ohio podcast. We

5:23

appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you, Eternity. And

5:25

hopefully, that's how long you're gonna list our podcast.

5:28

And next, we have the probably the

5:30

person who shits the biggest turds on this list.

5:32

We got the Canadian logger girl, Andy.

5:34

that's not that's not like lager like the beer. That's

5:36

L0GGER She's fucking

5:38

cutting big logs. She

5:41

clogging digitally looks around. Do you lumberjacks

5:43

poop big time of hell yeah they do. They

5:45

eat nothing but meat and cheese. They're

5:47

dropping logs in the forest, and they're dropping

5:49

logs in the fucking bath. Yeah. did

5:52

suck being a logger because you don't always have to poop

5:54

in the woods. Yeah. Sorry for your Buckle, Andy. You

5:56

never get the comfort of poop in the toilet.

5:59

Yeah. You'd just always be dropping

6:01

logs in

6:03

the woods. Yeah. That's what you gotta do, man.

6:06

I think it's cool we got. You know, that's that's

6:08

a cool thing about this podcast, man.

6:10

you and I are just a couple shlubs, but we

6:12

got cool people from all over the world

6:14

tuning in. Just we got doctors

6:16

and loggers I thought

6:19

you're gonna say lawyers. We got lawyers. We

6:21

we got lawyers. We got

6:24

Jess, our cat lawyer from Kentucky, She's

6:27

powerlifting -- Yes. -- terrifying. We

6:30

got all kinds. We got doctors.

6:33

We got chefs. We got

6:36

a lot of unemployed people. A lot of

6:38

unemployed people. We do

6:40

this thing on If

6:43

you join us on Patreon or Zoom Zoom Zoom. Sorry. If you join us on

6:45

Patreon for one dollar, usually

6:47

about twice at least twice a month, we do

6:49

a a Zoom after the show, and everybody tuned

6:51

in and we chat with everyone for an hour or so.

6:53

Or do for one. But we do this thing where

6:55

if we meeting you for the first time on the Zoom chat,

6:57

we try and guess your age and

6:59

your occupation without you telling us anything.

7:02

And I usually I'll be like, oh, you look

7:04

like your electrician and your thirty one, and

7:06

then they'll say, No. I'm

7:08

actually unemployed. That

7:11

was my second guess. I knew

7:13

it. I knew you look like you're fucking depressed

7:15

and didn't have any money. How

7:17

about our last one, Corinne? Corinne

7:21

Deaton. Actually, know her. So

7:23

it's all it's always fun when I ever see people

7:25

that I that these people I would expect to listen

7:27

to the and, like, I was like, she has a very

7:29

unique name, so I looked at her picture, and I went on

7:31

Facebook, and I double checked to make sure Definitely

7:34

the one that I know. So yeah. Thank you so much, Corinne.

7:36

I I appreciate it. Yeah. She

7:38

has a her son played. She was

7:40

on the same team as Carter for baseball. not

7:42

last season, but the season before when they want them when

7:44

they won the championships. And, yeah, she has

7:46

two she may have

7:48

more than two kids on. But she has two kids that I

7:50

know of that are being beats in baseball. I'll

7:52

beat the shit. I'll rock all of them, dude.

7:54

They I dare them to groove me one down the middle and

7:56

take them over the fence. Yeah. They're they're good people, man.

7:58

That's awesome. thanks for listening. We appreciate

8:00

it. My grandma's name was Karen Karen.

8:02

I she had a massive stroke.

8:04

It's such a unique name and it's it's a really

8:06

cool name. I like it a lot. Yeah. she just needs

8:08

to slap her on herself. I kinda

8:10

got the worst version of her and she had

8:12

a stroke before I was born.

8:14

So then she was just kinda hanging in the

8:16

vegetative state. No. It sucks. But, you

8:18

know, she would always we would go

8:20

there to the nursing home to visit her, and I

8:22

would take her my spelling tests -- Mhmm. --

8:24

and the she would always give me her bingo

8:27

money. Oh, that's cool. And but she

8:29

could choose me. Bingo. Bingo. Bingo.

8:32

Bingo. I'm like, thanks grandma, and then I

8:34

get the money. And then one do you have one of those

8:36

throat pussy things? No.

8:38

Okay. It's good to have me just look

8:40

up. What are those called? God, lover. I don't know.

8:42

You don't talk about -- Yeah. --

8:45

a smoking cigarette stig.

8:47

I yet logged in here. It's

8:49

called the bonus all. There's

8:53

a guy on TikTok that has it. Yeah.

8:55

You got your dude? Yeah. He's making

8:57

some cool videos ask or answering questions

8:59

about it. But yeah. Karen and then

9:01

we always get the car on the drive home,

9:03

and I I'd always I remember I'd

9:05

start bombarding my mom and questions that

9:07

say, mom, how she played Bingo and my

9:09

mom was like, she just does. And I'd be like, how does

9:11

she win? She's like, she just does, but

9:14

she's never answer my questions. Uh-huh. She probably

9:16

didn't know herself. But

9:18

I guess, you know, grandma was playing

9:21

Bingo. That's all it mattered, man.

9:23

She would you'd me up with some pocket change

9:25

and -- Really, I mean -- that's that's really the

9:27

only memory I have of of any of my

9:29

grandparents. Is my is my mom's

9:31

mom given me

9:33

bingo money. Yes. My dad's

9:35

parents both passed away before I

9:37

was born. Mhmm. My mom's

9:39

dad passed away I heard a

9:42

big fucking fat turd. He

9:44

was awful. I think he

9:46

had a stupid name like Ernest or stuff

9:48

That's a fucking cool name, Erin. She's scared

9:51

stupid. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. But then, you

9:53

know, her mom was the only one that was

9:55

around after I was born. So I

9:57

never really met per

9:58

se, any of

9:59

my

9:59

grandparents. Right. So

10:03

when I do a grandma impression,

10:05

that's kind of me just winging it, man. I don't

10:07

really know what a grandma's supposed to endure.

10:09

Mhmm. I've never felt a grandmother's love

10:11

before. Sure. So every time we meet a sweet old

10:13

woman, I'll be like, Well, you could be

10:15

my grandma in there.

10:17

Oh, did something get so

10:19

fucking just me slap and turned

10:21

on? Mhmm. and get so

10:23

happy. Yeah. And

10:26

I I think it and that's why one

10:28

thing I I emphasized with my kids,

10:30

I say, enjoy your time with my mom and

10:32

dad because the shit don't last forever.

10:34

Yeah. And you got such great parents. I mean, that's, like,

10:36

that's one of the cool things that, like, that your

10:38

kids get the experience because your parents are

10:40

so fucking awesome. Your kids get to

10:42

experience their grandma all day.

10:44

They can't stand having her in the house.

10:46

I mean, I I don't know this. Like, I

10:48

just you just recently lost my

10:50

grandpa. Yeah. So

10:52

I only saw that happen. No. It's it's it's already

10:55

happens. I mean, it's Life is

10:57

a vicious cycle, man. Sure. And

10:59

that that those were my some

11:01

of that that was my mother's dad

11:04

and my mother's mom, she

11:06

died, like, eight or nine years

11:08

ago. Mhmm. They were the really the

11:10

only grandparents that I knew.

11:12

Yeah. And It's,

11:14

you know, it's it's hard. It sucks.

11:16

Yeah. He was, like, growing up. I mean, he

11:18

was, like, the main, like, probably

11:21

the closest thing to her, like, a real father figure

11:23

that I had -- Sure. -- and, you know, he

11:25

would've done anything for me. I always knew I was his

11:27

favorite, but -- Yep. And it's

11:29

it sucks. I mean, it's it's

11:31

sad. Losing grandparents is is really

11:33

hard. Life is not

11:35

and easy. It's not there there's it's

11:38

not easy, man. But, you know,

11:40

we're here fucking doing it. That's what you gotta do.

11:42

Every night, I step out of that back deck when

11:44

those dogs let them take a fat shit. I look up

11:46

on the sky. I said whatever you got

11:48

for me, what he keeps sending them my way because I'm

11:50

I'm taking care of you know? And

11:53

Also,

11:54

I've been

11:58

taking a really big,

11:59

I

11:59

guess, liking to astrology

12:02

-- Really? -- astronomy. Sorry. Oh,

12:04

okay. Astronomy? Astrology is

12:06

fucking stupid. That's real. I don't

12:08

say you're a fucking no. astronomy.

12:11

Yeah. Astronomy. Your

12:13

camp your cancer halfway into your

12:16

anus and you're a

12:18

vegetarian. As a matter of fact, I

12:20

am a vegetarian. You're over a

12:22

capricorn shitting on three moons. I'm

12:24

I'm actually I far go. I do find that

12:27

interesting, though. Oh, sure. I find it, but I don't

12:29

believe it. Sure. I don't believe in stuff. Yeah.

12:31

Yeah. But

12:32

I don't know. It's

12:34

it's still cool to read about it. I'm a

12:36

fucking Scorpio, so that means off.

12:38

Fuck. I don't know what a

12:40

Virgo means that you're fucking Virgin.

12:43

I just remember Yeah.

12:46

My wife's a Virgo too. So that's not

12:48

true. I just remember we had this really

12:50

shitty substitute teacher when I was a kid in

12:52

elementary school. And

12:54

she was there she was

12:56

substitute teaching the day on one of my birthdays. And

12:58

back in elementary school when we were kids, your

13:00

birthday, your parents would send in, you know,

13:02

cupcakes and cookies to share the class,

13:04

man. And I brought in

13:06

cupcakes that day. And

13:08

the teacher's

13:10

like I remember her name, missus Isert.

13:13

She was Isert. Okay. She was not

13:15

ear no fucking screw a house rat or anything. Yo wait

13:17

to hear the story. Oh, jeez.

13:19

Yeah. It's a shit house rat.

13:21

Sorry. But she She's

13:23

like, what are what's this for? I said, it's

13:25

my birthday. She said, today is your

13:27

birthday. And I said, yeah. Yeah.

13:29

September twenty, you know, September twenty first.

13:31

And she said, so

13:33

you're a virtue. And I said, oh,

13:35

god. Here we go. I said, what does that mean?

13:38

I guess I'm a virgin. Gosh.

13:40

I don't know something bad

13:42

happened to her. Something like, I was

13:44

literally She was judging you. So

13:46

fucking honored. This is what I think

13:48

this is this is what even first grade. She's like, I

13:50

can't fuck you now. She

13:53

bent down. She got my face. She's like, that

13:55

means you're a little faith. And then

13:57

she walked away. Oh, shit.

13:59

Dude, I told my mom She shamed

14:01

you. I think she fucked

14:03

the dude. He knows the vertigo.

14:05

She said, that means you're a little faint.

14:09

And I went home that day. I was so

14:11

sad. And my mom's like, what is

14:13

wrong? because we we

14:16

had this substitute teacher. She was this

14:18

is like she just started, but we were

14:20

gonna have her for the year because our regular teacher

14:22

just found out she had a brain tumor. Fuck.

14:24

I know. But she was, like, the heaviest episode we've

14:26

ever done. Yeah, man. She lived though. She was

14:28

cool, mister Carlton. But miss Pfizer

14:30

said, you're a little See me.

14:32

And my mom said, what's wrong? I said,

14:34

teacher called me a thief today.

14:36

My mom was like, And what

14:39

the fuck did you steal? Man,

14:41

you thought I stole something. I said, I didn't

14:43

steal anything. And

14:45

I said, well, then she said, well, then why don't you call you a thief?

14:47

I said, She told me I was

14:49

AAAA virgin or

14:51

I can't remember what she called me.

14:54

She's called you a what? I said,

14:56

like, AAAAAAAAAA she's

14:58

asked me about my birthday, and she called me a

15:00

virgo. She said, she called you a virgo.

15:02

And then I said, yeah, that's what she said.

15:04

And she said, then why don't you call you a thief? I said, I

15:06

don't know. And she said, that means you're

15:09

a little thief. So

15:13

my mom my mom went up to school

15:15

and said, what the fuck have you done him?

15:17

Like, you're gonna mess him up. You're

15:19

you're now he's scared of

15:21

steel shit. Like any other

15:23

kid would and she tried telling mom it was a

15:25

misunderstanding that she was trying to make a

15:27

joke about. She got your face and

15:29

called you a thief. She

15:31

just called you thief right in front of your tits.

15:33

She didn't give a shit. Goddamn

15:36

bitch. She just gave fucking things.

15:38

She turned she turned out to be, like, one

15:40

of the coolest humans that

15:42

I ever had the opportunity

15:44

to to meet my life, but

15:47

she actually she was instrumental.

15:49

I was just talking about earlier today, actually,

15:51

because we're talking about our kids not being

15:53

able to to get stuff in school to

15:55

understand stuff. Mhmm. And it just kinda

15:57

clicks. Well, she helped I couldn't count

15:59

money where the fuck. Yeah. The miss Kaiser

16:01

dummy. Yeah. Count money. You know,

16:03

she That's cool. She said this is a

16:05

this five cents. This is a nickel. So your Nick,

16:07

this is a nickel. Remember Nick's worth five

16:09

cents at the time, like It's so fucking

16:11

cool. But in that moment, click

16:13

for me that's how I learned to

16:15

count money was hanging after school with

16:17

her, but she said, that means your little

16:19

faith. You've been stealing

16:21

all the nickels. What do I done?

16:23

What what I just I

16:25

didn't know what she was talking about. Oh,

16:28

dude. That's fucking a while.

16:30

Yeah. You're a little beat.

16:33

Fuck. So let's

16:35

tackle what we're talking about today.

16:37

We don't have an article. Download the

16:39

DraftKings sportsbook app and sign up with

16:41

code swing. All new customers will receive

16:43

two hundred dollars in free bets when you sign up

16:45

today using code swing.

16:47

Plus, five lucky customers will win a

16:49

one hundred thousand dollar free bet

16:51

gambling problem called one eight hundred and 589 ninety nine

16:54

sixty six. When he went over physically present in Ohio, home to

16:56

bill you or spritains apply. See terms at draftkins dot

16:58

com slash book subject to regulatory licensing

17:00

requirements. One per customer, two hundred dollars issued its eight twenty five

17:02

dollar freebacks, no purchase necessary for sweepstakes, order

17:04

prohibited, and its first day drafting allowed to

17:06

operate in Ohio. See terms at DKNG dot

17:08

c o slash o h. The

17:11

there's always time for the

17:12

drive thru deal. Because no

17:14

matter how fast you are at making breakfast,

17:18

McDonald's is faster. Start

17:20

your morning at McDonald's and

17:22

enjoy one of our tasty bagel sandwiches for breakfast.

17:25

Try the steak egg and cheese bagel or

17:27

the sausage egg and cheese bag

17:29

order hit on our app and pick it up curbside.

17:32

Pricing participation may

17:34

vary, make the app download and

17:36

registration required. We

17:38

usually

17:41

wait. I do wanna say we we did

17:43

drop a new brochalk for

17:45

all you patrons. Yeah. And I've did

17:47

we talk about that yet? I know we talked about for for the

17:49

YouTube people, but if we have if, you know, check it

17:51

out. Don't worry. I don't remember. I'm fucking stupid. So

17:55

And also, or

17:57

something else. What was it fuck? Oh, I

17:59

did I did start to look at an article. There's

18:01

this guy that runs this area fifty one

18:03

blog. It's a legit area fifty one log.

18:05

Okay. And the FBI fucking blew his doors off his house and

18:07

then arrayed this weekend knowing all. Is he what's going on?

18:09

Oh, is he arrested real real deal? I don't know if

18:11

he got arrested, but they did a search

18:13

warrant and No. We need to reach out if he doesn't get arrested. I

18:16

know. I can't wait. When he comes on here and tells

18:18

a story that burned my house down. Dude,

18:20

I'm all for any area fifty one stuff.

18:22

Yeah. I'm all about it. episode

18:24

is focused on. So we've never done AAAA

18:27

big foot specific episode

18:29

because if we just did a if we just did a

18:31

big foot episode, It

18:33

would last in eternity. But even

18:35

kinda going through the research for

18:37

big foot attacks, there's

18:39

so many cases of people get attacked

18:41

by big foots. It was hard to condense

18:43

all that together, but then I veered

18:45

off the path like I always do. I

18:48

said, I know I know what the

18:50

people want. I know what the people mean. They want big

18:52

footer rather come. They

18:54

wanna hear stories about people getting fucked by big

18:56

foots. While they're not real, they're

18:58

creative writing pieces, You

19:00

make for podcasting. Especially It's allegedly

19:03

not real. It's alleged We

19:05

have no proof one way or the other.

19:07

So then I start eaten into

19:09

these big footeradikas, and I

19:11

realized they're not only big

19:13

footeradika, but if they're all

19:15

homosexual, big big footeradikas,

19:17

they said even better. Well, where the fuck is this shit been

19:19

my entire life? I found a website

19:21

with hundreds of

19:23

big foot erotic curtails. Oh, yes.

19:26

Cricked the eroticous tales niche.

19:28

That's all this episode is. Thank you for tuning

19:30

in. Suckin

19:32

Harry. He mad at Dick that's my

19:35

favorite. Dude, Bruce is milking himself when I

19:37

woke up this morning. Oh god. I said, let's

19:39

go potty, dude. And he just

19:41

kept on getting down on his dick. Just taken

19:43

at all. He's nasty fucker.

19:46

Oh, poor Bruce. He's he's a senior

19:48

citizen. Let him be. Yeah. He might bit

19:50

me in this morning. Can't picture

19:52

him biting anybody. He gets like, a picture

19:54

Paisley biting someone before. Yeah.

19:56

Bruce gets startled, dude. He gets Oh, that was

19:58

in deaf now so he can sneak up on

19:59

him. He he thinks he's

20:02

getting attacked to some shit.

20:04

Yeah. So well, This

20:06

episode is about big foot attacks. So this

20:08

is centered around people that have

20:10

had encounters or stories where

20:14

we're

20:16

They

20:16

were allegedly attacked by a beep

20:18

a bipedal human

20:21

hairy humanoid beast. Love

20:23

it. I personally have

20:26

been attacked by a Bigfoot. I

20:28

don't wish to share my story on this podcast

20:30

because it's entirely too traumatic.

20:32

remember a couple weeks ago, I told you about

20:34

a traumatic experience I went through that fuck me

20:36

up, that -- Mhmm. -- blocked out of my I wrecked my

20:39

motorcycle. That's what it was. But

20:41

I didn't I fucking wrecked it on i

20:43

seventy five during wreck rush hour traffic

20:45

-- Yeah. -- rear into the the car in

20:47

front of me because I hit an oil patch

20:49

and it slid through it -- Yeah. -- rec laid my bike

20:51

down,

20:52

not

20:54

a

20:55

single scratch

20:56

on my motorcycle. Oh, man.

20:59

This guy comes right up and he's like, my name

21:01

is Billy from fucking

21:03

where's the powder keg han powder keg

21:05

harleys. What is Billy for powder keg

21:07

han to man, UK?

21:10

I'm like, Yeah. I'm thinking, like, you're

21:12

gonna fix my bike on the side of the road right now.

21:14

Why doesn't it matter if you're from powder, like, from the

21:16

Harley's fucking gears? I stood up. I was

21:18

fine. Like, I did it didn't hurt at all. Yeah. And it hurt

21:20

the bike, but scared the shit out of me. But

21:22

then I said, oh, fuck dude. I just hit this person

21:24

in front of me. Yeah. They got I

21:26

got out and he said, Hey,

21:28

man. Are you alright? I said, yeah. You wanna get the

21:30

cops out of your swing fire report? You say,

21:33

no. Dude, I smoke a lot of pot. I'm not

21:35

trying to do any of that That's

21:37

it. Alright, dude. Let's go.

21:39

We both rolled rolled off, but, yeah,

21:41

be careful in the motorcycles. There's

21:43

that one Facebook group that I won't mention

21:45

that you invited me to. Did you see that did you see

21:47

that one post with the dude's head was stuck in the front

21:49

end of that fucking semi truck? Yeah. The

21:51

motorcycle hit? Yeah. Yeah. His fucking

21:53

head was stuck in the front of that truck,

21:56

bro. at the roof. His bike was laying, like, forty feet back

21:58

behind it. Oh, god. This is gnarly shit

22:00

man. Yeah. Who? Sassquatch

22:02

is a large hairy humanoid

22:04

that some to live in the Northwestern

22:06

United States and Western Canadian.

22:08

It also was pretty prevalent here in

22:10

the United States, the Appalachia, and that

22:12

area as well. The name comes from

22:15

Salish, Salish, Seisquakis.

22:19

Seisquaksy. Stan, Skank.

22:22

Salish shit. Skank. Skank.

22:25

It's a There's no correct

22:27

pronunciation of this. It's spelled

22:29

s e apostrophe SXAC

22:33

So it's like scat. Sessex.

22:36

It means wild men. SaaS

22:39

watch is It doesn't. It

22:41

means sex.

22:43

It means poopy sex. Man,

22:47

SCAP. -- or -- Scuff. What do

22:49

you wanna do? I really like

22:51

for you to shit on me.

22:54

We usually shit in the toilet here. Yes. Lots of stuff I'll

22:56

watch. I can't now watch that. No. Thanks.

22:58

No poopy. SaaS Watch is also known as

23:00

bigfoot and appears to represent

23:02

the North American counterpart of the

23:04

Himalayan region's mythical monster,

23:06

the abominable snowman

23:08

or the Yeti. Sasquatch

23:11

or the SCATman as we like

23:13

Cohen is normally described as a

23:15

bipedal primate that is anywhere

23:17

from six to fifteen

23:19

feet tall. Damn it's huge.

23:21

It is often said to give off a foul

23:23

smell and either move silently or

23:25

emits a high pitched cry. alleged

23:28

SaaS watch footprints have measured up

23:30

to twenty four inches long.

23:33

Some people credit the British explorer

23:35

David Thompson with first discovery of

23:38

a sasquatch footprints in

23:40

eighteen eleven since then

23:42

several photographers and

23:44

videographers have claimed to have seen

23:46

sasquatche. Although none of their purported evidence

23:48

have been verified, if you

23:50

go to big, but

23:53

the

23:55

research

23:57

let me

23:58

see if I can find her. There is a like, one thing

24:00

a lot of people don't know is that bigfoot is

24:03

necessarily wanna say based off of, but

24:05

there was a

24:07

creature from back in the day that

24:09

actually did exist called, I think it was

24:11

the Gigantapithicus. k. I

24:13

check one of those a small one. I only

24:15

know this because of Jerry O'Ginni always talks about

24:18

it. Check into pit something like that. It's like

24:20

a fat pit. something that's essentially like

24:22

that, but it actually existed in. It was

24:24

pretty much like an eight foot tall ape

24:26

creature that was bipedal. I

24:29

got gigantopithecus. Yeah. I

24:31

think that's right. On on

24:33

BFR0 or bigfoot

24:35

research organization dot net. Yeah.

24:37

It is. Look. Gigantapithecus. Damn.

24:39

That's a big gorilla, dude.

24:41

Yeah. And that's that's what they believe that

24:43

big foot descended from, I think, is what

24:46

it is. thing's real too. Big

24:48

old bipedal monkey, big

24:50

motherfucker. Yeah. On this

24:52

BFR0 they have some sound

24:54

recordings of of

24:56

different big

24:58

foots

24:59

-- Mhmm. -- big feet. Is

25:01

that is that at plural? big fussy.

25:03

Take some time.

25:05

Take

25:09

work.

25:14

A tornado siren. No,

25:18

dude. That's

25:19

a big foot. Alright? That's

25:23

from nineteen ninety four and actually

25:26

Columbia County, Ohio, which I am. I

25:28

did some on their over the road work

25:30

in Columbia County, Ohio. Mhmm.

25:32

And that's the home of the Ohio

25:34

Grassman there. Yeah. They

25:36

gotta big fucking cult following

25:38

of the whatever it is out there.

25:40

Hell yeah. Here's another this is

25:42

from Mississippi in two thousand four.

25:44

I'm just kidding. Fucking

25:46

wink is broken. Fuck.

25:51

Damn it.

25:54

These

25:54

motherfuckers, the

25:55

shot shit ass

25:58

website. I was

25:59

hoping to play some

26:01

nice noises of

26:03

bigfoots for our people, but

26:05

Class B encounter

26:07

This is the first

26:10

howling record

26:15

from This

26:19

seems like

26:21

an elephant maybe.

26:23

There's lots of cool cool

26:26

pieces of research, cool pieces of evidence,

26:28

whatever on this BFR0 website.

26:31

Mhmm. But then

26:31

you can also go into the reports

26:33

and they got lots of reportings

26:37

by you can break it down by

26:39

state, so you can get Ohio. and have

26:41

different you can then

26:43

you can break it down by county. So

26:46

we're

26:46

in Montgomery. There's

26:48

been four big foot and

26:50

they break it down by class a and class b

26:53

and class c. So I

26:55

believe a class

27:00

I believe a class c is like, alright.

27:02

This thing's fucking this in the ass right now.

27:04

Okay. And a class a is like we

27:07

saw it. class b, you know, we saw, we smelled it.

27:09

We almost thought that we dealt

27:11

it. You smelled that you'd dealt

27:13

it. Yeah. But That's

27:16

a cool BFR0 dot net. That's

27:18

a really cool website. Cool.

27:20

One of the first

27:23

examples of a big

27:25

foot attack. So these big foots,

27:27

everyone's, you know, they see them. They smell

27:29

them. A lot of people say

27:31

these. big foots of the rocks at you.

27:33

They'll throw poop at you. They'll scream

27:35

how, they stink like shit and

27:37

fucking old dumb. I kinda smell

27:39

like us, you know. It's a tough

27:42

job, but somebody has to do it. I mean

27:44

Very tough. Yeah. One of the first attacks

27:47

recorded tax is eighteen twenty nine

27:50

oka no oka

27:52

fina an oka finicky oka

27:55

finicky swamp. Let's

27:57

see if I got this pronounced right. Oka

28:00

Faniki. Give

28:02

me a pronunciation Google

28:06

Oka Fanocchi. Isn't

28:08

that a Disney movie? Oka Fanocchi.

28:10

Oka Fanocchi.

28:11

There you go. Look at you. I'm

28:13

fucking phonetics works, shocked all

28:15

evening bro. This

28:17

is one if not the earliest

28:19

accounts of a big foot attack in the United

28:21

States. in most indigenous folklore,

28:24

sassquatches, arbitrators, shy

28:27

creatures, who you usually

28:29

only catch a glimpse of and never

28:31

attack you. unin fact of

28:34

November of February February

28:37

of eighteen twenty nine, their reports in

28:39

several newspapers across the

28:41

country I'm sorry, across the county of an attack

28:43

by a giant hairy man,

28:45

an Okefinokey swamp in

28:48

storage. Sorry.

28:51

Back in back

28:53

in eighteen twenty nine, the first settlers

28:55

were moving into the fringes of the

28:57

Okifanoke swamp and they

28:59

began to pick up local indigenous

29:01

legends about a mysterious race of

29:03

people who lived on an

29:05

island deep in the swamp According to newspaper

29:07

reports, two men and a child

29:09

ventured off into the Okofanoke swamp

29:11

and after exploring for a while came

29:13

across strange footprints They

29:15

were eighteen inches long. Damn. And nine inches wide,

29:18

just like my fat fucking cock.

29:21

Good Lord, that's so fucking

29:24

big. I know it is funny. Oh,

29:26

man. Choose this life. This life

29:28

shows me. This discovery frighten

29:30

the man and they immediately left

29:32

the swamp. Wow. Are you naturally looking

29:34

at my ass. I

29:37

left a swamp to get back home. Word

29:39

of their fighting's findings got around in

29:41

a group of hunters decide they wanted to

29:43

pursue this beast, kill

29:45

the beast. One of the men guided the group of

29:47

six hunters to the spot where they found

29:50

the footprints a few days of

29:52

tracking the creature, the men were

29:54

discharging their penis their weapons to

29:57

replace to replace their gunpowder

29:59

when a wild animal attacked their

30:01

camp. The beast managed to

30:03

kill five of the men before finally

30:06

succumbing to their bullets. The

30:08

men measured the dying beast and claimed it

30:10

was thirteen feet tall and

30:12

was covered in coarse hair.

30:14

The remaining two men decided to run for

30:16

their lives out of fear that the creature screams would

30:18

attract others. The men left the

30:20

Sesquatch body in the bodies of their

30:22

fallen companions.

30:24

What a bunch of bitches, Pussies.

30:28

Because no bodies were ever

30:30

recovered, we have no definitive proof this

30:32

incident ever happened. The writer from

30:34

this website says, I'm of the

30:36

belief that something happened, but

30:38

the two men embellished their story, either

30:40

that or something happened that they

30:42

couldn't explain and their subconscious

30:44

filled in the gaps with local indigenous legends.

30:46

Yeah. Stories like this one fascinate me

30:48

because they're very well could have

30:50

been something unexplainable. Well,

30:53

I don't think the SaaS currently exists. Alligators

30:55

have been thriving in Okifanagi swamps

30:58

since prehistoric times. And I would say

31:00

the the writer from this

31:02

website. He's He's a pretty big

31:04

skeptic. So -- Okay. -- he

31:06

he provided a lot of good

31:08

research for, I

31:10

guess, the purpose of this episode, but he's a big skeptic.

31:12

So, you know, just keep that in mind

31:14

whenever you're you're reading. He's pretty

31:17

he's pretty subjective about

31:19

all this. That's good. Yeah.

31:21

Definitely

31:21

doesn't think bigfoot's

31:23

real, which you and I

31:26

have

31:26

been doing this for a long

31:29

time.

31:29

We know bigfoots

31:31

are real. Yeah. For sure. Yeah.

31:33

And we were supposed encrypted comm this weekend.

31:35

This is the one ARC surety said that about that in the

31:37

in the chat. And I had the fucking flu, dude.

31:39

I just Wednesday,

31:43

Wednesday I left work, I

31:45

don't remember I don't

31:47

remember anything until Friday evening.

31:50

I probably had north

31:52

of

31:52

seventy five bowel

31:54

movements and things. Delightful.

31:57

I was so tired

31:59

of white my

31:59

ass. You just

32:01

stopped. The thing was is it

32:03

wasn't the stomach flu. When I get the stomach flu,

32:05

it's like glass in my stomach, and I

32:08

know that I I can't I can't hold

32:10

it. But this flu

32:12

that I had, I could hold the poop. I would just

32:14

say, like, alright. I'm gonna shit myself and I would hold it and

32:16

I could hold it. your hand? No.

32:18

I couldn't do that. I didn't get watery.

32:20

But then I had the fever,

32:22

the chills, all that stuff,

32:25

man. But I'm out of the woods

32:27

now. Good. If I said, you know what?

32:29

Thank God I'm getting this now and

32:32

not not on thanksgiving

32:34

because I'd been pissed if I

32:36

got it on Thanksgiving. Oh, man. I had

32:38

strep throat in Thanksgiving one year when I was

32:40

a kid. That was

32:42

the closest I've ever come to have my mom and

32:44

dad kill me. Yeah. Worse

32:47

Thanksgiving ever. It was bad. Yeah. It's one

32:49

holiday you'd only get sick of what I

32:51

mean.

32:51

I've No.

32:52

I don't. I've eaten so much that I've puked

32:54

on Thanksgiving. No. Yeah. I mean, that's acceptable.

32:57

You know what I mean? It's

32:59

Man, my uncle was

33:01

so mad, and I pute the liver's

33:03

fucking carpet. liver's dick. Yeah.

33:05

Irapped you through up liver's penis.

33:08

the fungal. How about this one, man? Let's

33:10

go ninth, but his favorite president. Right? Yeah.

33:12

Yeah. Right here. He's a bad motherfucker. Eighteen ninety

33:15

three, Teddy Rose rizzles big foot encounter.

33:17

Let's see if I can get into old Diador

33:19

here. So and Teddy Roosevelt's

33:21

nineteen I'm sorry. And Teddy Roosevelt's

33:23

eighteen ninety three memoir the

33:25

wilderness hunter, the former president recounts a

33:27

strange story about a strange eight man

33:29

attack from a grizzled

33:32

whether beaten old mountain hunter -- Mhmm.

33:34

-- named Bonham,

33:37

who not Bonahoe, but

33:39

Bonham who was born and

33:41

passed all his life on the frontier.

33:43

Let's see here. Although this is

33:45

not a first hand account, the story

33:47

stuck with Teddy because

33:50

it was so different from anything that he had

33:52

experienced in his own life as an

33:54

avid outdoorsman. According

33:56

to Bonham, when he was a

33:58

young man, He and a friend went

33:59

baverrapping. Oh, hell yeah, man. I'm

34:02

gonna baverrapping tonight as a matter of

34:04

fucking fact. They're getting all that

34:06

bullshit. They went beaver trapping in a river

34:08

valley in the Montana territory, and

34:10

we're camping in a mountain pass where

34:13

a lone trappers have eaten

34:15

remains were found by mining

34:18

prospectors. The two men left

34:20

their horses at the foot of a pass and

34:22

climbed a small blade where they set up

34:24

their camp. The men left the

34:26

campsite and set out to place Beaver traps along the river.

34:28

One the Beaver trap

34:32

is Such a nasty name for a whole your children come out

34:34

of. Eralis.

34:37

I'm gonna fuck your b

34:39

for trap later. I'm fucking of

34:41

your beaver. Just tonight,

34:44

gentlemen, listen to this show. When

34:46

you make love to your wife, I want you to

34:48

refer to her vagina as her beaver, and I want you

34:50

to tell her how it'd be like, God, your

34:52

beaver's so mad. I can't wait to damn

34:54

up your beaver. You can't wait. You

34:57

can't wait to pee

34:59

inside your beaver. Oh, shit. Report back. braia podcast

35:02

at gmail dot com. Well, it's not that good.

35:04

When they returned to camp that evening, they

35:06

found their lean

35:08

to destroyed and

35:10

the contents of their bags scattered across

35:12

the ground around what appeared to

35:14

be bear like tracks. Bottomsprint

35:18

Bombs

35:18

friend made a

35:19

torch from their campfire and

35:22

investigated the tracks. He

35:24

said that The bear

35:26

had been walking on two legs.

35:28

Oh, shit. Bonham laughed

35:30

off the idea and the two trappers went

35:32

to sleep. But hours later, Bonham

35:34

was a in by an

35:36

unpleasant stench and a shadow of a great body.

35:38

Definitely not minor next spike.

35:42

This is at the entrance of their lien too. Bonham fired

35:44

his rifle at the beast and it retreated

35:46

to the forest. The next morning,

35:49

the men went back to

35:51

business as usual. And after returning to the after a long day of checking

35:53

the traps, they again found their lien

35:55

to destroyed with the

35:58

same footprints.

36:00

That night, the two men barely slept as they heard heavy

36:02

feet snapping twigs around

36:04

their camp and a horrible cry

36:07

echoing through the night. Next

36:10

morning, the men decided that enough was enough,

36:12

and it was time for them to leave this

36:14

creepy valley with their lives

36:16

intact. They worked together emptying their

36:18

traps all day, and bought him volunteered to retrieve the last three traps from

36:20

a nearby river on his own.

36:22

A few hours later, when he finally

36:24

returned to camp, he

36:26

found the still warm

36:28

body of his friend against the

36:30

tree with four fang marks in

36:32

his broken neck and the

36:34

same footprints that they saw at

36:36

their camp. That's that's

36:38

scary, man. Killam, the vampire.

36:40

What the fuck do you do with a beaver after you

36:42

catch it though? Those are bad motherfuckers,

36:44

man. They have the fucking Yeah. It's a big

36:46

foot beaver big foot beaver

36:48

vampire. It's a big foot beaver

36:50

vampire. Well, neither Bonham

36:52

nor Teddy Roosevelt identified the

36:54

creature as a Sass watch. It's a beaver foot.

36:56

Nice beaver foot.

36:58

Yeah. It's the same thing as like a

37:00

the same thing as

37:02

like a fucking mousse knuckle. Oh,

37:05

shit. Oh, shit.

37:08

It's either

37:10

modern or daily result of the fire the creatures

37:14

in sasquatch. is Byetel Stance Byetel Stance,

37:16

awful stench and screams perfectly

37:18

match the descriptions given by

37:20

indigenous people.

37:22

However, where their story differs from

37:24

the natives is that Bigfoot attacked and killed

37:26

a man. To the best of my knowledge,

37:28

Bigfoot is peaceful and Native American

37:32

oral tradition. Hell yeah. Yes. Look, I have

37:34

no idea how to explain this one. It

37:37

could be fabricated. Perhaps on

37:39

new of the Indigenous Legend of Sasquatch and made up a story

37:42

to impress the president or

37:44

perhaps the Native American Legend is based on

37:46

something real and they experience

37:48

it firsthand. My money is on a great

37:50

story to tell your drinking buddies, but I

37:52

won't rule out something crazy happen to

37:54

them. The frontier was a dangerous

37:56

place in the

37:58

eighteen hundreds.

37:58

I couldn't imagine, man. You see that fucking chimpanzee

38:01

scene or baby after a few days

38:03

that that video is going viral

38:06

right now? I don't know if I

38:08

have. The chimp is in there, like, the curb that put

38:10

the chimp in the holding area, and then she doesn't realize

38:12

her baby's in there with her. Mhmm. But she hasn't

38:14

seen, like, two days. And then the

38:15

mom and chimp. tees the

38:17

baby and picks it up and just,

38:19

like, starts crying and chimp and

38:22

old baby rock and Oh.

38:24

They're extraordinary creatures, man. I

38:27

really wanna chimp, but then that lady had her fucking face off by one. Yeah.

38:29

It mean, it it

38:32

really isn't that hard to

38:34

believe that we're that distantly

38:36

relative. Like, I could I

38:38

could jerk off of the chimpy. I

38:41

could fuck a chimps. It's not gonna do

38:43

that. It could fuck me. Their butts are too weird looking. It's

38:45

about boohoo noise. You know what I mean? How big they get

38:47

they get, like, toddler looking butts? That's true. Yeah.

38:49

It's too weird Yeah.

38:52

them have dumpies. They look like they're

38:54

good kissers, though, for sure. It's

38:56

pinky ass. I can wear it. Yeah.

38:58

They they they look like

39:00

sensual lovers. little

39:02

tiny dickson. For sure. Have you

39:04

seen the picture of the chimp without hair? I think

39:06

I yeah. Yeah. I have. It

39:09

looks like Joe Rogaine. on

39:11

Alpha Brain. Nineteen twenty four.

39:14

This is a big one, man. This is a

39:16

this is a lot of people say this is

39:18

the the foundational big foot

39:20

attack of all attacks. Okay? because

39:22

this is the we could probably do

39:24

an entire episode on this one. I didn't I didn't know much

39:26

about it until I read about it today. This is

39:28

the assault On eight

39:30

canyon. Oh, shit. That sounds

39:32

cool. I think you're gonna encounter a bunch of

39:34

fucking big flips then. Eight

39:36

canyon. Eight canyons. Definitely sounds

39:38

right. Eight canyon is a

39:40

gorge along the edge of the plains

39:42

of Abraham to the southeast

39:44

of Mount

39:46

Saint In nineteen twenty four, a group

39:48

of go

39:50

prospecta. Prospecta.

39:54

get liquid gold on him shells.

39:58

Fred Beck, gable, a

40:00

fever, gable a fever John

40:02

Peterson,

40:04

Marion Smith and Smith's Sun Roy

40:06

set out to search for gold

40:08

in eighth Canyon. According to

40:10

their story, the men encountered a group of

40:13

eight men about eight miles away

40:15

from Spirit Lake. The men

40:17

described the creature as

40:19

seven foot tall around

40:22

four hundred pounds with

40:24

four inch long ears

40:26

sticking straight up, short

40:29

stubby toes, black hair and they

40:31

are described to walk with a

40:33

human gate. That's how I like

40:36

them. God, man. One

40:38

of the Oh,

40:40

fuck. I'm so fucking old. A

40:42

bigfoot, Irauc has come in later on the

40:44

episode. It's a long story. I

40:46

thought we were getting into

40:48

it already. One of the men was so startled by this that he

40:50

fired his rifle three times

40:52

striking the beast and knocking it

40:54

off a

40:56

cliff. The men thought nothing of

40:58

it. You just killed fucking bigfoot. They shippage.

41:00

The men thought nothing of it.

41:04

and went about the rest of their night hanging out in their cabin

41:06

when suddenly the house

41:08

seemed to shake. According to

41:10

back to gang of these very angry

41:14

gay gapes. Oh, yeah. A gang a

41:16

gang of apes. There wasn't gay apes. Oh,

41:18

okay. A gang of these very

41:20

angry eight

41:22

men were throwing rocks the house and the men grabbed their

41:24

rivals and fired back. According

41:26

to this story, back was

41:28

knocked out for two

41:30

hours by a rock. What a pussy? He

41:32

wasn't knocked down. That one the fucker wasn't a

41:34

coma. That's a fucking coma. Nobody

41:36

gets knocked out for that long. That is

41:38

a preposterous statement.

41:40

This writer says I did some research

41:42

and while I couldn't find any information specifically

41:44

related to being unconscious for

41:48

two hours, I did find a ton of articles that basically seek

41:50

medical attention if you're knocked out for even

41:52

ten seconds. Yeah. Yeah. The

41:56

lasted the entire night

41:58

and the creatures retreated in the

42:00

morning. First thing in the morning, the men fled and

42:02

reported the incident to a very

42:05

a skeptical state trooper and a

42:07

local newspaper. The story became so popular

42:09

and widespread that the Canyon was

42:11

given the name ape Canyon. And there's

42:14

another podcast called Asterias

42:16

Universe. They had a really

42:17

good, well written article about the

42:20

the encounter

42:22

with a lot more information about the the

42:24

ape count ape Canyon attack. I mean,

42:27

there's a lot of there's

42:30

there's a lot of credence that should be given to the story. I think there might

42:32

have been something they whether it was

42:34

just like a pack of fucking feral

42:38

humans or type for my

42:40

humans. I wanna

42:42

I wanna furl human like the

42:44

wild wights of is that those?

42:48

know, those one the those inbrows we

42:50

did? Yeah. Yeah. I want one of those. I did

42:52

hit the

42:54

fucking Donnie Thornberry.

42:56

I just want someone

42:59

to live in my

43:02

house to shits on the floor. That

43:04

isn't a dog. That's true. Yeah.

43:06

When I was making that that I smoked

43:08

that chicken yesterday, III

43:11

spatch cocked it where I cuck Mhmm. And

43:13

cuck it. I fuck it. And, like, Stacy, watch

43:15

me fuck it. You've

43:18

cut the fuck out of that chicken. Cut the

43:20

cut the chicken. Sorry.

43:22

Fucking unless you get in

43:25

here and watch me fun. Oh, sure.

43:27

So I cut the spine out

43:29

with, like, kitchen,

43:32

cheers.

43:33

And

43:34

Bruce ate the fucking spine out

43:36

of the trash last night. No, he did. He

43:38

did, man. Damn it. The fucking bastard

43:40

Oh, dude. This is fucking great. This bot's gonna hurt so bad. There's everything

43:43

in here? Yeah. There's everything. What do

43:45

you want? Everything? There's

43:47

the bush apple. There's Praful.

43:50

Mountain Dews or Heineken or

43:53

yeah. Rolling rock and nothing that

43:55

you drink. There's one strawberry thing back

43:57

there you might like. There's

44:01

always time for the drive thru

44:03

deal because no matter how

44:06

fast you are at

44:08

making breakfast, Mcdonald's is faster.

44:10

Start your morning at McDonald's and enjoy

44:12

one of our tasty bagel sandwiches for

44:16

breakfast. Try the steak egg and cheese bagel or the sausage egg and

44:18

cheese bagel. Order head on our app

44:20

and pick it up curbside.

44:24

Pricing participation may vary. Make the app download and registration

44:28

require.

44:29

i don't

44:32

There's always

44:34

time for the drive thru deal

44:36

because no matter how fast

44:38

you are at making breakfast,

44:40

McDonald's is faster. Start

44:42

your morning at McDonald's and enjoy one

44:45

of our tasty bagel sandwiches for

44:48

breakfast. Try the steak egg

44:50

and cheese bagel or the sausage egg and

44:52

cheese bagel. Order head on our app

44:54

and pick it up curbside. Price

44:57

and participation may vary. Make the app download and registration require.

45:01

the

45:04

The there's always time

45:06

for the drive thru deal.

45:08

Because no matter how fast

45:10

you are at making breakfast,

45:14

McDonald's is faster. Start your morning at

45:16

McDonald's and enjoy one of our

45:18

tasty bagel sandwiches for breakfast.

45:20

Try the steak

45:22

egg and cheese bagel or the sausage egg and cheese bagel.

45:24

Order head on our app and pick it up

45:26

curbside. Price

45:28

of participation may vary,

45:30

make the app download and registration required.

45:36

It's in

45:37

that back right corner.

45:39

Go ahead. Dive

45:41

a little deeper. You

45:44

gotta We got to talk about

45:46

the nineteen fifty disc disappearance of Jim Carter, not the president.

45:48

Let's fucking do it.

45:50

do Can we

45:51

do it? You do it? Oh, you got it. Your

45:54

turn. Oh, yeah.

45:56

So in May of

45:58

nineteen fifty, Professional

46:00

mountain near and skier. Jim

46:02

Carter mysteriously disappeared in ape

46:04

Canyon. He's a fucking theme

46:06

right here. after leading a group of twenty people from

46:08

Seattle up Mount Saint Helen.

46:10

Carter left the group at Doug's head's peak

46:12

and told him that he would ski down

46:14

and take their photo as they ski down

46:16

to

46:18

Timberland, I was expecting you to

46:20

do a

46:22

Timberland. I'm not

46:28

very hip to I bought Timberland

46:30

boots today. I'm very different. Okay.

46:32

Their minds are comfy. That was the last time saw Carter

46:35

dead or alive. The next

46:37

morning, the Seattle Mountain Search and Rescue

46:39

Unit set out to search for

46:42

Carter and they found his discharge oh,

46:44

his discharged camera where he had

46:46

to take the discharge of underwear last night.

46:49

Been there, brother. where he had

46:51

taken the photo. Carter's ski tracks

46:54

suggested that he took off the mountain

46:56

in a wild death

46:58

defying dash taking chances that no skier of his

47:00

caliber would take unless something was

47:02

terribly wrong or he was being

47:04

pursued. Fox

47:06

yeah. That's fucking dope. I also wanted to write some shit up about

47:08

me like that. I want someone to

47:10

come in my ass. I want someone

47:12

to come in here and do

47:15

podcast with us. Start the bidding

47:17

at one thousand dollars. Hell

47:19

yeah. Sold. You

47:22

I to meet you in. So Bob

47:24

Lee, former member of

47:26

Seattle Mountain Search and Rescue Unit,

47:28

and that and that led Reported

47:30

that he felt as if he was being watched

47:33

from the woods during the initial

47:35

search for Carter. It

47:38

was the most eerie experience I've ever had.

47:40

There was something strange on the

47:42

high slopes of the mountain. I could feel

47:44

the hair on my not stepping up.

47:47

Oh, neck. It was eerie.

47:50

I was unarmed except for my ice

47:52

axe and believe me. I never

47:54

let go of that. Caughtra's

47:56

complete disappearance is an unsolved mystery to this

47:59

day. Doctor

47:59

Auto Trot,

48:01

Lee Stark and

48:04

I. He says it's like we should fucking know these people are. Oh, I know is.

48:06

Okay. World renowned. Okay. And

48:08

I squatch scientist. Finally came to the

48:10

conclusion that the mountain devil's

48:13

got him. Oh, the mountain doublets. Oh, man. I'm

48:15

a fucking mountain devil. After

48:18

two weeks of searching every

48:20

inch of ape Canyon, and sign

48:22

of Carter's signs his blink

48:24

camera and frantic tracks were

48:26

ever found. Eventually, doctor Auto

48:28

Trot came to the conclusion that

48:31

the mountain devils got them. According to

48:34

trial, there had been twenty

48:36

five reports of mountain

48:38

devils which are described

48:40

as April I creatures

48:42

at Mount Saint Helen over twenty

48:44

year period. While there's

48:46

no evidence that Carter was killed

48:49

by Bigfoot, his disappearance is still

48:51

an unsolved mystery. Honestly, I have no idea what happened. Maybe he

48:53

just went crazy. Seriously though,

48:55

this is Erie. don't

48:58

like the opinions of this writer. III kinda dig

49:00

it. He kinda like he kinda let you know where

49:02

he stands. Fuck him. Unless you know he ain't just

49:04

like a fucking yes man. Pumpkin has

49:07

a bitch. Bigfoot's real

49:10

man. Yeah. And I I've

49:12

seen we got tagged about a thousand times

49:14

in a meme that says, Mothman

49:16

stole my catalytic converter. Yeah. I think I wanna get

49:18

that shirt. I saw that too. Yeah. I think I'd look

49:20

good in that shirt. Yeah. Look real

49:24

nice I want the one that says like a like moth man ate

49:26

my ass and went pleasant.

49:28

I didn't get to see the statue when

49:31

we were there. I had the I was really sick. sick

49:33

either. I was really sick for that too. I had a fever

49:35

and I was just, like, days and out of it.

49:38

Yeah. I was really out of it

49:40

this weekend. do wanna go

49:42

back. Yeah. Wes, Virginia was fun.

49:44

I gotta at least smack those cheeks. That that

49:46

mothman's got a thick ass

49:48

booty dog. got a dumpro. Yeah. Fucking onion. There

49:50

ain't never been poop coming out of that thing.

49:52

It's pristine. It's a fucking pristine

49:54

malt foodie, cup

49:56

of water. right there. Oh,

49:58

yeah. We got pouring beer down the ass crack and

49:59

take the loot.

50:02

I'm all I'm all for that. Fuck yeah,

50:04

dude.

50:04

the We

50:05

got a this last story actually came

50:08

from a sister podcast. I love

50:10

the title of this. Let me check

50:12

these guys out. This is from their blog

50:14

with Big encounters, they have a really good real big man.

50:16

They got a really got

50:18

a really big show. But this is from their

50:20

blog. brushing

50:22

my beard. You guys like ASMR? Yeah. I love however

50:25

it. That's my beard

50:27

brush. This is me

50:29

brushing my beard.

50:32

Get closer. We can

50:33

hear it.

50:39

I

50:40

wish I had some ice to eat. I was not going to eat. This is

50:42

me eating ice. Now my wife's like, why don't you have

50:44

to take ice down there for him anymore? I said,

50:47

Does he fucking chomp sit in the microphone

50:49

when he's mad? I'll only

50:51

do it just to piss those people off. But I

50:53

was gonna start doing the the the

50:55

SPHERES again -- Yeah. -- to combat you, but

50:57

because it would give you, you know, ice for

51:00

your drink, and you wouldn't be able to crunch

51:02

it. It wouldn't break down enough for me to crunch it.

51:04

Yeah. Unless I mean, I've seen you unhinged your jaw before. I know

51:06

you got a I got some pretty strong

51:08

chompers. And you I know you guys are thinking

51:10

Nick is seen in unhinged's jaw.

51:14

to perform sexual gratification. No.

51:16

I actually watched him unhinged

51:18

y'all eat a sandwich. No.

51:21

It was actually Don't barrel of your sniff. How the

51:23

fuck did I miss my mouth? What a fucking

51:26

idiot? Holy

51:28

shit.

51:30

There

51:31

god, I wish I had the link,

51:32

man. There's this this dude that

51:34

wakes his mom and dad up on TikTok.

51:39

he goes into the room in the middle of the night and wakes

51:41

him up and tells him he had a nightmare, but he's,

51:43

like, twenty three. Already

51:46

won't work with all of this. In the mommy like,

51:48

get the fuck out of here. I mean, it's

51:50

just like Skears cool file laying with you. And, like,

51:52

you can lay on the floor or whatever

51:56

but and then the dad's finally, I will pay you to leave. I will

51:58

pay you to get out of here. Oh, shit.

52:00

It's so good. And my wife wants me

52:03

to go do to my mom and dad. Oh, dude. That'd be so

52:05

funny. Hey, dude. My dad keeps guns.

52:08

Okay. Yeah. I'd be worried. This

52:10

motherfucker has been waiting to shoot

52:12

somebody for for as long as

52:14

I've been alive, he's been waiting to shoot someone. Especially type of people that live where he lives.

52:16

Yeah.

52:20

when I was a when I was a kid once, we woke up

52:22

on Saturday morning. I woke up and I walked out

52:24

in the living room. My little brother's asleep on the

52:27

couch. Mhmm. And then across the

52:29

outside living room on the left seat. There's some

52:32

fucking dude. Whoa. I'm

52:34

sleeping on our left seat just

52:36

sitting there with this fucking

52:38

chin down. in And

52:40

I said, you know, we I

52:42

have, like, cousins coming and going. Yeah. But, you know, I was

52:44

super close to my cousins, but I thought it was maybe

52:46

one of their friends, but of them My brother and

52:48

my cousins were home. And I went in

52:50

my

52:50

mom and dad's room, like, there's

52:52

a guy

52:53

on the couch.

52:55

and I don't

52:56

recognize them.

52:58

And

52:58

my my mom and dad

53:00

didn't believe me. And then finally, I said,

53:02

I'm I'm serious. There's somebody

53:04

out there that doesn't that's not anyone

53:07

I've seen before. Holy fuck. And my dad

53:09

got up and put it on a road with his

53:11

fucking balls hanging out and shit. And

53:14

the best part about when he went out

53:16

there is, dude, my

53:18

dad wanted to be a fucking cowboy. He

53:20

should've been a cowboy. he put his robe

53:22

on, but then he put a fucking holster

53:24

on. Like a like a cowboy, like John

53:26

Wayne. He has fucking

53:28

sick shooter out. Right? throw it

53:30

out. I challenge you to

53:32

a duel. So he fucking quit quit

53:34

quit quit quit quit quit quit

53:37

quit fucking spurs on. That's for the month.

53:39

The fucking waxes motherfucker. This

53:42

dude wakes

53:44

up. And

53:44

my dad said,

53:45

what are you doing? This guy this guy

53:48

is like, is this Bobby Sue's

53:50

house? And my dad's like,

53:52

no mother fucker. This is 444 Main Street, which he sent our address. Yeah. Yeah.

53:54

Yeah. Yeah. You get the address, but Sure. And

53:56

he's like,

53:58

I'm

53:59

I'm I'm I'm really I'm really

54:02

sorry. My dad said I suggest you get

54:04

the fuck out of my house right now. And

54:06

I was really thinking

54:08

like that was gonna shoot this guy. I'm

54:10

watching him all the way. This is Like, am I gonna see a

54:12

murder, shit and alert myself, but the

54:14

dude just made a mistake. He was just really drunk

54:16

and made a mistake. when we

54:18

started locking our door, we'd

54:20

leave the front door unlock for my brother and

54:22

my cousins. Yeah. But, yeah,

54:24

dude. And then I don't know.

54:26

Another another instance, my dad, there's

54:28

some somebody out in the garage was

54:31

fucking around and and it woke me up and I woke him up and he

54:33

put my mom's robe on and then I got rose silk

54:36

robe. That's fucking hot. It is dick

54:38

involved and it's answering at the bottom of it.

54:40

Hell yeah.

54:42

he was the dude sleep naked dude. That's so good.

54:44

And I remember I followed him to the kitchen out

54:46

to the out to the

54:50

back door I could just use balls because, you know, kinda get like his

54:52

tactical squad. He's going out

54:54

there. But I think he

54:56

threw some rounds at night. I think he I think

54:58

he did

55:00

make some I remember I was little for that one, but I think he might have shot

55:02

his gun that night. Helly. Good for him.

55:04

Yeah. But he I could remember seeing his dick

55:06

and balls which wasn't

55:08

and the gunfire light.

55:10

It wasn't crazy to me because

55:12

I would shower with them and stuff. So, you

55:15

know, seeing his dick and balls wasn't anything

55:17

weird. But then I started asking questions about his

55:20

dick. And that's me. He's like, alright. Get

55:22

him out of here. Get that

55:24

motherfucker out

55:26

of here. Alright. This story is the bigfoot in the outhouse. Did you

55:28

know if I was looking for a bigfoot? That's the

55:30

first place I'd look. Yeah. That's where

55:32

I'd go Rob, because Rob be

55:34

pooping someplace. Mark, yeah, I would

55:36

I would like to tell you

55:38

something about where I grew up in Northern Oklahoma

55:40

on a farm in the

55:43

nineteen sixty sees and seventies. The location is

55:45

somewhere west of Interstate thirty

55:47

five and the northernmost part

55:49

of Oklahoma. It was a

55:51

very wooded area. My uncle who

55:54

had lived in the area all of his life told

55:56

a story about how when he was about

55:58

eight or ten

55:59

years old. He

56:00

was going up the outhouse one cold winter night. They didn't have indoor

56:02

plumbing in the old house ship. You're a shit

56:04

in the outhouse before? I have not.

56:07

gnarly dude. These motherfuckers, they go home the ground

56:09

and set a box on top of it and they shit in it

56:11

for a few months. And then when they fill that

56:14

hole completely full

56:16

of shit, They move it fill the hole up. They dig another hole and they

56:18

move the box. That's fucking cool. outside

56:20

of the shit in the box. But that grass is

56:22

the greenest fuck once it starts growing.

56:24

I had to shit in one one time. The closest thing was

56:27

at the lake. That's the closest thing like an hour, half hour

56:29

shut in. I don't know what that

56:31

is. Oh, enough of Is

56:34

Larry just a fucking hole in the ground?

56:37

My uncle who who lived in

56:39

the area of his life told a story about

56:41

how when he was about eight or

56:43

ten years old, he was going out to the cold winter night. And so that

56:45

as he tried to open the outhouse door,

56:47

there was something inside it preventing it

56:49

from opening it

56:52

preventing it from opening. My uncle said he was sleepy and cold and

56:54

just wanted to do his business and be done

56:56

with it and get back into the

57:00

warm house So he pushed his

57:02

way into the outhouse with a bit of force. He was suddenly confronted by running

57:04

right into a huge stinking

57:08

hairy creature. That

57:10

was a fucking

57:13

turn taken flight. He first

57:15

told me this story before I was aware

57:17

of a bigfoot. I don't think he was

57:19

ever aware of such things. I don't recall the Patterson footage being general knowledge around

57:21

there at that time. And I was

57:23

curious about all the things weird and wonderful

57:25

and read up on

57:28

the pair normal as often as I could. Anyway, what he

57:30

described back then now today seems like a

57:32

pretty average description of a bigfoot

57:34

creature. He

57:36

said that He just bumble face he

57:38

just bumbled face first right into

57:40

this wall of stinking fur.

57:42

He said smell

57:44

like a dead pig in the mostly dark outhouse and

57:46

not knowing what was going on. There

57:48

weren't any bears around there. He

57:51

looked up and saw a huge wide eyed

57:54

monster face staring back at

57:56

him. My uncle let out a terrified

57:58

scream as he naturally would be a kid in

57:59

such circumstance. and said that

58:02

the thing scream back at him with the

58:04

same time.

58:06

Scared the fuck out of a big

58:08

foot. Seemingly, equally frightened and

58:10

then it shoved him out of the way

58:12

and onto the ground and stepped

58:14

over him and started running away across

58:17

a nearby pigpen towards the woods

58:19

and the river beyond. My

58:21

uncle says that he was he sat

58:23

there on his butt on the ground screaming

58:25

and fear and watching this big ape

58:27

like thing running away. It was sort

58:29

of a comedy story when you envisioned a little kid,

58:31

the bigfoot frightening the vegeta side of each

58:34

other in the courthouse. And I

58:36

always loved that story and sometimes asked my uncle to tell it because he'd

58:38

be so animated when he did. He

58:40

said he ran back in the house screaming

58:42

about mom woke up

58:44

everybody. My grandmother confirmed this

58:46

with a grand when she was still alive

58:48

and the whole family remembered the

58:50

incident well. My uncle

58:52

absolutely swore this was a true

58:54

story. And years later after

58:56

learning about Bigfoot, it gave the story more

58:58

credence to me. My uncle died

59:00

many years ago, but his

59:02

wonderful comic horror story is

59:04

still fresh in my mind

59:06

because of the way he told it with wide eyes

59:08

and excited voice even when he was an

59:10

adult and his absolute

59:12

existence that it was

59:14

true. Absolute insist

59:16

insistence. Some years later,

59:18

I had two big foot encounters myself near

59:20

there, but I won't go into that.

59:22

This is getting a bit long.

59:25

But you guys Here's the

59:28

most important thing to remember. We

59:30

don't have to shit in our houses anymore.

59:32

That's very true. A scary ass shit.

59:34

There's no way my kids could get pooper pee

59:36

in an outhouse.

59:38

No. Not a chance. But

59:40

that leads us to the part of the

59:42

episode we've all been so excited for. I've

59:46

recovered a couple

59:48

pieces of big foot

59:50

erotica, and I would

59:52

love love love love to

59:56

share them with you. Everything

59:58

you heard in this episode

59:59

up until up until this

1:00:02

point? Completely

1:00:04

true. Absolutely. Now this

1:00:06

big floriatica, I just

1:00:08

don't know. I just can't

1:00:10

put a I can't put a

1:00:12

finger on it. a in it, but I

1:00:15

can't put a finger on it.

1:00:17

Just like

1:00:18

grandma, you know? I wanna finger

1:00:21

it. Oh, yeah. I

1:00:23

think

1:00:25

big philanthropic turns me

1:00:27

on. I I love it. Yeah. And

1:00:29

what makes this big philanthropic so

1:00:32

special? is that it's homosexuality based. It's for gay people

1:00:34

like us, where That's why

1:00:36

I like it so much. It's for gay people

1:00:39

with wives like us. That's

1:00:41

why it's so special.

1:00:43

k? This first story

1:00:45

is called the crowish. I

1:00:47

had I had to really

1:00:49

cut this down to kinda get a little snippet

1:00:52

of it for you guys.

1:00:54

And in what

1:00:57

The the premise of the story is there's

1:00:59

a there's a witch. There's

1:01:02

a witch. A male witch

1:01:04

named Fletch. not

1:01:06

flesh. Like the flashlight.

1:01:08

Fletch. It's a

1:01:10

male witch named Fletch

1:01:12

and then a bigfoot that

1:01:14

lives in the cottage named Samuel. What a very

1:01:17

proper name for a baby? Samuel, that's yeah.

1:01:19

It's very proper. And

1:01:23

the witch is traveling

1:01:26

through and stops to see his old

1:01:28

friend Samuel.

1:01:30

Okay. In in

1:01:32

in some way or another,

1:01:34

I was trying to read through the story,

1:01:36

but it was just too They make a

1:01:38

deal of sorts. k. the deal is

1:01:42

sealed. With a very central Swack.

1:01:44

With a very very seal with

1:01:46

a kiss? With a beaver trap.

1:01:49

Right. I guess,

1:01:53

bring

1:01:54

this close

1:01:55

right here.

1:01:58

I know you're special. I

1:02:00

also know what I give in

1:02:02

return for a night with

1:02:04

you, which Fuck

1:02:07

it. That's

1:02:10

a properly

1:02:12

placed punctuation right there.

1:02:14

Witch. See? Remember Samuel is the Bigfoot.

1:02:17

The witch is named

1:02:20

Fletch. Samuel's

1:02:22

kisses trailed lower till

1:02:24

he was suckling at Fletch's chest.

1:02:28

Fletch whimpered in

1:02:30

response and Arched his back so the big creature can have

1:02:32

full access to his

1:02:34

chest. In

1:02:36

the deal. quote,

1:02:38

this is then the

1:02:41

deal has been struck. Fletch's

1:02:44

fingers curled

1:02:46

and Samuel's for. Samuel

1:02:50

then leaned back, his finger his

1:02:52

his back flat against the ground. He

1:02:54

now looked up at fletched

1:02:56

for the first been to looking down

1:02:59

at the witch, he now saw him

1:03:01

in a new light. His

1:03:04

paladin lift body was

1:03:06

poised as Fletch maintained

1:03:08

his balance atop the great creature's

1:03:10

thighs. Mhmm. His back was

1:03:12

to the light of the fire, casting him

1:03:14

in and Ethel glove. Ethereal.

1:03:17

Ethereal glove. Then Fletch

1:03:20

began to move like

1:03:22

his dance. it was

1:03:24

sinuous and seductive. His

1:03:26

hands brushed over his chest and

1:03:28

belly to his thighs where

1:03:30

he spread

1:03:32

them showing off the partially wreck cock.

1:03:34

He's fucking the partially. Right? He was just

1:03:36

fucking he was just turtle head in a little

1:03:38

bit. So look

1:03:40

at this. and all of

1:03:42

its thunder. Showing off

1:03:44

the partially direct cock that

1:03:46

Bob there, but since his legs Bob,

1:03:48

my dick has never on. I don't wanna

1:03:50

ever say my dick is bobbing. What are

1:03:52

you doing? Papa Bobbing my

1:03:54

dick? It's like so

1:03:56

unsexy. Sam remember

1:03:58

Samuel is the bigfoot. Samuel's

1:03:59

own cock was growing erect at the

1:04:02

side of Fletch.

1:04:04

Remember Fletch is a male

1:04:06

witch. Fucking luck. I love gay. Thanks for

1:04:09

the rest. Fletch's hand.

1:04:12

Fletch's hand snake between his

1:04:14

thighs to

1:04:16

where the monstrous cock of the bigfoot was growing erect.

1:04:19

He used both hands to

1:04:21

rub it from base to tip as

1:04:23

his fingers couldn't reach

1:04:26

all the way around. Damn it. It's a girthy boy.

1:04:28

Precome leaked from the tip of Samuel's

1:04:30

cock as Fletch rubbed it

1:04:33

to interact. Nice. flesh licked

1:04:36

his lips and bowed bowed his

1:04:38

head to suck the tip of the cock.

1:04:40

because his hands worked the

1:04:43

shaft groaning, Samuel, the

1:04:45

big foot, pulled Fletch from his position,

1:04:47

and then turned him around. So he's

1:04:49

now straddling Samuel's phase.

1:04:56

his

1:04:59

tongue darted out and licked over flexes your neck, chaffed before he

1:05:01

suckled on his balls.

1:05:05

listening a moan of pleasure from

1:05:08

Fletch as his own mouth

1:05:10

was fastened over the head of

1:05:12

Samuel's cock. I'll

1:05:14

let you hit that hard c around

1:05:16

his cock. Then his

1:05:18

mouth released Fletch's balls in

1:05:20

favor of rubbing his tongue along

1:05:23

his perineum. He went into his

1:05:25

tight asshole. He looked

1:05:28

down his gooch.

1:05:32

Looks like That's like mop in the floor, waffle house, dude.

1:05:34

Oh, god. Hey, imagine a

1:05:36

fucking bigfoot's good. Don't ever lick

1:05:38

my gosh.

1:05:40

a clean strip on that goose. It's all hair. Fletch would

1:05:42

need to be worked well if he was going to be

1:05:44

take if he was going to take Samuel's

1:05:48

huge cock. That was an asshole

1:05:50

up. Samuel's tongue rasped.

1:05:52

Oh, god. He's got god.

1:05:56

tongue. It's got a little teeth on it. He's got a

1:05:58

cat

1:06:00

tongue. He's a witch.

1:06:02

But what would you back. No. Samuel -- Okay.

1:06:04

Okay. -- is a bigfoot. Remember Samuel has the

1:06:06

property name. Samuel is the bigfoot. That's right.

1:06:08

Samuel's tongue rasped over flesh's

1:06:11

asshole. It's a big big feet have -- Yeah.

1:06:13

-- cat tungs.

1:06:17

Shit. You know what they

1:06:19

say about me? I got big fruit,

1:06:21

but I got a feline

1:06:24

tongue. Oh, man. Samuel's

1:06:26

tongue rashed over Fletch's

1:06:28

asshole before slowly starting

1:06:30

to penetrate in with small thrusts.

1:06:33

Shit. Fletch kept himself clean

1:06:35

and tastes of sweat and the soap

1:06:37

he used that day. Oh, thank

1:06:40

god. I know that thing. Oh,

1:06:42

shit. Samuel grunted an approval

1:06:44

as Fletch Wright against him as he

1:06:46

pushed his tongue

1:06:48

in deeper. using his saliva saliva to

1:06:50

lubricate Flex's butt hole.

1:06:52

A mouth now

1:06:53

working down

1:06:55

in Samuel's cock.

1:06:58

Flesh moaned around the thick member in

1:07:00

his mouth. Then Samuel's

1:07:03

finger spread, Fletches

1:07:06

ass cheeks. and he looked at

1:07:08

the wet twitching asshole.

1:07:10

Oh god. cock jumping

1:07:12

before sinking one thick dge

1:07:15

it into his asshole up to the second

1:07:18

knuckle. He's holding

1:07:20

fletch like a bowling

1:07:22

ball. He's not

1:07:24

to hit that seven he's

1:07:27

not to hit that six nine split.

1:07:29

You know the fucking big big

1:07:31

foot add them thick boy fingers too. Got

1:07:33

the second. Got the

1:07:35

fucking ballpark frank

1:07:38

fingers. fatsed fingers.

1:07:41

Nubricated already, his

1:07:44

blunt finger entered Fletch and

1:07:46

Fletch's mouth popped off

1:07:48

of Samuel's Hawk. So

1:07:50

he could Gas has been surprised.

1:07:52

Fletch laying atop Samuel's

1:07:55

torso, arched his back and began to

1:07:57

move his hips back against the thick

1:07:59

digit inside

1:07:59

hole. He

1:08:01

began to suck

1:08:04

Samuel shaft one hand working

1:08:06

the tip as

1:08:08

the other worked, the fuzzy balls blow. Samuel

1:08:12

then pushed his finger and to flex

1:08:14

his ass all

1:08:16

the way and watched the young

1:08:18

man ground himself against his hand. Oh my god. He's leez.

1:08:20

oh my god he's always watches

1:08:23

them he Fletches and heat. He then began

1:08:25

to pump his finger in and out of Fletch's asshole

1:08:27

and savored the moons of pleasure

1:08:29

that resonated through

1:08:32

Fletch's mouth and directly a

1:08:34

Samuel's cock. He then added a second thick finger and begin moving

1:08:36

it in and

1:08:39

out as well. Samuel used

1:08:42

his saliva to continually lubricate Fletch's asshole as he massaged

1:08:48

inside. Samuel, I can't

1:08:50

take it. Fuck me. Damn from the witch.

1:08:55

voice Fletch from somewhere below the beautiful spectacle

1:08:58

of his ass getting fingered by Samuel,

1:09:03

then take me. Samuel grunted as

1:09:05

he pulled his fingers from Fletch leaving his ass soft and ready for

1:09:08

the fucking. Flex

1:09:12

then stood and turned towards Samuel their

1:09:14

eyes locked as Flex climbed on top of the of the

1:09:17

the

1:09:18

oh in creature hulking creature. Once

1:09:20

again, on top, Fletch crouched with his feet

1:09:22

on Samuel's hips as he aligns his asshole. Samuel's

1:09:28

monstrous cock. Even though he

1:09:30

had doubts, it would fit, fledged power through the doubt and dropped his weight, so he felt

1:09:35

a blunt head. God damn,

1:09:38

Samuel's cock began to penetrate his asshole.

1:09:42

I've never fucked

1:09:46

to make flip, but now I do how I want to.

1:09:48

People are just not joining the live and they're like,

1:09:50

hi, guys. Hi, Russ. He gets fucking you

1:09:52

guys are just fucking doing it the right time.

1:09:54

He groaned as a tip slowly entered the

1:09:57

precomb lubricating the way.

1:09:59

Fletch

1:09:59

painted as he felt the mushroom

1:10:02

tip pop past the barrier, Masayana.

1:10:04

I fucking hate that term. Fill

1:10:06

a mid thigh. Muscular tip. He

1:10:08

began to move his hips

1:10:10

then take me a little more of Samuel's cock inside of him

1:10:12

and as he moved. Samuel grunted as he

1:10:14

felt the tip of his cock into

1:10:17

flesh. he then put his hands on

1:10:20

flesh's hips and helped to move

1:10:22

up and down on the thick

1:10:24

shaft. Slowly he sinked down till

1:10:26

nearly all of Samuel's big foot cock, entered into Fletcher's ass and was

1:10:32

filled entirely. But he couldn't take

1:10:34

it anymore. Fletch started to move again. Slowly, he lifted up

1:10:36

his hips and then

1:10:39

brought them down again. Annual

1:10:42

Moon in response and wanted desperately to make him move faster but knew

1:10:44

how delicate of

1:10:46

which his body could

1:10:48

be. Tuck.

1:10:50

It sucks to be a witch. Wouldn't

1:10:53

technically be a warlock?

1:10:56

No. The only females

1:10:58

are witches. he's gay. Okay. Okay. I

1:11:00

guess that makes sense. A gay

1:11:02

warlock is a witch. Is that

1:11:05

like a slur like how you

1:11:07

can't call gay guys fair ease is like, hey,

1:11:09

call gay guy, what do you know? gay guy, which? Is that like

1:11:11

the same thing? I don't know, bro. No, man. Instead, he uses hands to

1:11:13

grip flex his hips and need his

1:11:15

ass cheeks as he fuck

1:11:18

him with a maddening slowness. You need

1:11:20

his ass? You ever been

1:11:22

fucked by an elephant. Fletch cried

1:11:25

out and Pleasure. Samuel fucked him.

1:11:27

struckling to keep up with his rapid movements. He tossed

1:11:29

his head back long, wavy brown

1:11:31

hair cascading down his

1:11:34

back as he rode Samuel. with

1:11:36

a roaring crook.

1:11:40

Samuel released a

1:11:42

year's worth of sexual

1:11:44

tension into flesh

1:11:46

and filled him with his hot comb. You

1:11:53

remember Samuel's a bigfoot. He cocked him. Fletch his

1:11:55

eyes rolled back as he too came as cock jerking

1:11:57

at spurting his come

1:11:59

over his chest. Thank

1:12:02

you. Samuel said panting.

1:12:04

Fletch nodded as he

1:12:07

also tried to catch his

1:12:10

breath. Mhmm. When Samuel pulled out of Fletch, a torrent of between them.

1:12:12

Samuel laid Fletch on

1:12:14

the ground beside him

1:12:16

and didn't

1:12:19

fetch them a bucket of water with which they could

1:12:21

clean up. Now what we do till

1:12:24

morning Fletch

1:12:26

asked playfully is Samuel returned with a bucket and a bar of

1:12:28

soap he'd found. Find a

1:12:31

bar of soap. I

1:12:33

didn't see cottage

1:12:35

in the woods. suppose we'll have to

1:12:37

tell stories and talk about your garden, Samuel, said, setting down the bucket inside

1:12:40

lunch, he

1:12:42

wound he laughed. They did end up telling us this not very

1:12:45

homey erotic from here.

1:12:47

So This next

1:12:49

1123I

1:12:49

think

1:12:52

it's It's a long one too. Should I

1:12:54

read it? Yeah,

1:12:54

man. We got nothing but fucking time. How far we

1:12:57

You're only an hour in.

1:12:59

Let's fucking do it.

1:13:01

Okay.

1:13:02

This is

1:13:03

about a

1:13:05

this is about a

1:13:08

a man that was camping in

1:13:10

the woods and he's being watched by another by

1:13:15

a male bigfoot. Okay. This is another

1:13:17

gay one. I would expect nothing less than that. Unfortunately, I can

1:13:20

only find gay once tonight.

1:13:22

That's perfect. This is another gay

1:13:24

big I

1:13:26

feel like big foot big foot wouldn't be, you know,

1:13:28

they If

1:13:29

you're a big

1:13:30

They'd be okay with whatever. He strictly

1:13:33

take you can get. As long as there's

1:13:35

a hole, they're fun with the hole. Yeah, man. Yeah. He

1:13:37

crept closer carefully as the human began to touch the newest bottle

1:13:39

with some liquid from the

1:13:43

first bottle. This is the the the human was trying

1:13:45

to coax in the big foot. The human

1:13:47

was intent on

1:13:50

his task so the Sassquatch closed the distance

1:13:52

quickly. The human got onto

1:13:54

his knees. His the

1:13:57

human got onto his hands and

1:13:59

knees in a near universal breeding stance.

1:14:01

Placing this new bottle at his back entrance before

1:14:03

the bottle slipped away. The

1:14:07

SaaS watch saw an opportunity. The humans asshole was

1:14:10

shining with what the SaaS

1:14:12

watch now surmise

1:14:14

with some sort of precome like lubricant.

1:14:16

It gaped slightly in a way

1:14:18

that called the SaaS watches cock.

1:14:23

the He approached rapidly and grabbed

1:14:25

the human's slim waist with one

1:14:27

hand while guiding his cock

1:14:30

with the other. He saw as a human turn and looked at

1:14:32

him with a clear surprise.

1:14:34

This wasn't an unfamiliar expression

1:14:36

of the SaaS watch, but

1:14:38

the SaaS watch was certain. You

1:14:41

would have the human

1:14:43

moaning again soon.

1:14:44

Chris, which was the human,

1:14:46

saw the monstrosity behind him a

1:14:49

giant man ate covered in fur, its thick hand on Chris' waste, the

1:14:51

other guiding a massive

1:14:54

cock towards his ass. Chris

1:14:58

had time to say, big foot foot before that massive cock was no longer

1:15:00

being guided, but

1:15:03

was entering his ass. The

1:15:07

tip had to be the size of an apple. Oh, fuck.

1:15:09

And Chris was grateful

1:15:11

for the lubricant he'd

1:15:13

applied himself. Trying to

1:15:15

get the big what the

1:15:17

fucking as well as the apparent inherent lube the creature provided from

1:15:20

its own

1:15:24

member. Chris groaned in pain and

1:15:26

pleasures the beast, pressed into his asshole. Chris had been fisted once

1:15:31

and that experience was nearly identical to this except for the

1:15:33

relief of the wrist as the hand had

1:15:35

entered his ass. You

1:15:39

ever been fisted, Rob? I have not.

1:15:41

Thank God. Okay. If you've ever

1:15:43

been fisted, synesany mail

1:15:45

brahile podcast at gmail dot com.

1:15:47

The beast's member tested Chris' limits as it pressed

1:15:50

in unrelentingly as he was

1:15:52

unable to

1:15:54

stifle another painfully pleasurable moon.

1:15:56

Chris was already closed before he

1:15:58

heard the twig snap. This

1:16:01

unwanted intrusion was quickly becoming

1:16:03

very wanted. The SaaS watch as the

1:16:05

head of his cock disappeared in the

1:16:07

male humans asshole The

1:16:10

man began to let out feminine moon

1:16:12

after feminine moon. Can you

1:16:14

give me a couple of

1:16:18

those? Main one. Yeah. I

1:16:20

didn't even know what

1:16:22

it sounded like for sure.

1:16:26

I

1:16:28

promise you,

1:16:32

dude. If I'm inflected a butt

1:16:34

by a SaaS question, not a

1:16:36

noiser. I'm gonna If I'm

1:16:38

getting fucked by a big foot, it's gonna sound like somebody getting the car accidentally. I'm gonna be like,

1:16:40

oh, fuck. Shit.

1:16:43

Goddamn. I heard you. The

1:16:46

man began to let out feminine moon after

1:16:48

feminine moon as the Sassquatch placed both

1:16:51

hands on the humans' hips

1:16:53

to push himself deeper in This hole was so

1:16:55

tight at the outside, yet different from any

1:16:57

woman he'd ever had. The SaaS

1:17:00

watch wanted to feel

1:17:02

it all oh, man.

1:17:04

he had not felt an end to it yet.

1:17:06

And you're not can't your small intestines, like, wrap around the world a

1:17:08

couple times or some shit like that? I think so. I

1:17:10

might have that in King of Hill. and

1:17:15

SaaS watch was determined to

1:17:17

find out how deep that

1:17:19

butthole was. Chris was helpless as

1:17:21

the monsters cock pushed deeper and deeper

1:17:23

into his ass. This was by

1:17:25

far the thickest thing he'd ever

1:17:28

taken. It was intensely pleasurable,

1:17:30

but his asshole was each

1:17:32

additional inch. But there were thick veins and ridges

1:17:34

that had them nearly begging for the next inch.

1:17:39

Oh,

1:17:39

Lord. He collapsed forward

1:17:40

onto his elbows, knowing he should

1:17:42

be gridding his teeth at at

1:17:45

this unwanted intrusion but let out a surprisingly

1:17:48

slutty

1:17:51

moaning stand.

1:17:54

slowery

1:17:57

mode. I don't think so. You're so you're

1:17:59

such a slut. I was so

1:18:03

dirty, nasty bitch.

1:18:04

fuck. There's

1:18:07

no way

1:18:08

anyone's ever fun to make

1:18:11

fun.

1:18:11

Made that sound Oh,

1:18:16

shit. Chris looked back

1:18:18

and saw that the

1:18:21

monster seemed to

1:18:23

own we'd be halfway in. Oh god. God damn. But

1:18:25

it was still

1:18:26

the furthest he'd ever taken

1:18:30

anything. let alone a cock. He let another unwilling

1:18:33

slutty man before falling

1:18:35

falling further forward on

1:18:37

those elbows, the beast forced another

1:18:39

engine. Oh.

1:18:42

Give

1:18:45

me the

1:18:48

rest. Copy. my butt.

1:18:50

My butt.

1:18:52

My butt hurts

1:18:55

from listening to this.

1:18:58

asshole. I'm

1:18:59

gonna need him but

1:19:01

for reading this.

1:19:04

Fuck. Oh, drug.

1:19:06

Oh. I'll be the bigfoot.

1:19:08

Give me the give me the

1:19:10

slot. Chris wished he could pretend

1:19:12

that he wasn't enjoying this, but

1:19:15

from this angle. He could see his

1:19:17

cock jutting

1:19:17

out. You know what that

1:19:19

means? Okay. I'm

1:19:21

a jut my cock. later. Big foots a day. Big

1:19:23

foots a dick is so big every time he goes in,

1:19:25

he, like, pushes those out like a little muppet

1:19:28

muppet dicks.

1:19:31

He couldn't can't me. Nami? Nobody likes

1:19:34

me

1:19:34

enough

1:19:35

to message

1:19:36

me. Oh,

1:19:38

it's Facebook. No. No.

1:19:40

I

1:19:41

have no Facebook friends. It's my mom and my little

1:19:43

brother. I don't know why. They heard you tell a story about your fucking dad's

1:19:45

balls. I get out of the

1:19:47

ball to the group. Chris

1:19:50

wished he could pretend that he wasn't enjoying this, but from this angle he could see his cock out hard.

1:19:56

He couldn't help but

1:19:58

moon yet another time. This was better than James. This was better than every fucking

1:20:00

buddy he'd

1:20:02

ever been with combined. The

1:20:06

SaaS watch marveled at the site before him. He

1:20:09

had never had a SaaS watch female,

1:20:11

let alone a human take

1:20:13

his entire cock

1:20:15

without a complaint. Now this human, a

1:20:17

male, nonetheless, had taken the entire length and seemed to enjoy it.

1:20:19

The SaaS watch began

1:20:22

to fuck the human

1:20:24

with God. The SaaS squads began

1:20:26

to fuck the human with abandon after seeing that

1:20:28

he was able to

1:20:31

take his entire cock. The

1:20:34

male yelled and mone with every thrust.

1:20:36

He was

1:20:39

gripping the the

1:20:42

ground covering. not

1:20:42

attempting to strike the SaaS watch. The

1:20:44

human definitely

1:20:45

seemed to be enjoying it.

1:20:47

The SaaS watch reveled in the feeling

1:20:49

of the humans tight hole, particularly

1:20:52

when he pulled his massive cock

1:20:54

almost entirely out, feeling the human's

1:20:56

rings, Oh god.

1:20:58

Don't refer to my assholes ring. Feeling the humans ring, squeezing rhythmically against

1:21:05

the head of his monstrous cock.

1:21:07

Chris consciously knew that he was allowing this to happen

1:21:09

because he was hornier than

1:21:11

he'd ever been before Chris

1:21:14

also consciously knew that he wouldn't

1:21:17

stop it even if he could.

1:21:19

The monster had an absolutely

1:21:21

huge cock in every way.

1:21:23

it was very thick. And it was longer than than

1:21:26

anything Chris had ever taken before.

1:21:28

Even still,

1:21:30

Chris managed it with very little pain and very much

1:21:32

pleasure. This is why females don't get,

1:21:34

like, turned on by whenever we try

1:21:37

to dirty talk them because we

1:21:39

say shit like this. That's why

1:21:41

they'll write stuff back to you, but they'll have, like, the normal the straightest face

1:21:43

ever. All we're over here fucking sweating

1:21:48

and, like, panning and shit nurse

1:21:50

like, oh yeah, that sounds really good. That sounds cool. Every additional inch

1:21:52

the beast pushed

1:21:55

in was another inch of pleasure for

1:21:57

Chris. He felt like if he looked down, he would see an indication as the thick

1:21:59

cock pushed yet another

1:22:02

inch deeper into his gut.

1:22:06

him. Chris could

1:22:08

feel the involuntary squeezes of his

1:22:10

asshole as he came in, as

1:22:13

he came and pure anal

1:22:16

bliss. Can you fucking come, like, just

1:22:18

by putting stuff in your butt? Yeah.

1:22:20

I mean, your prostates there. Alright.

1:22:22

Thomas, assuming he can. He didn't actually come, not

1:22:24

yet. Oh, okay. There you go. This is

1:22:26

feeling radiated from his actual whole.

1:22:29

Something he'd only experienced

1:22:31

a couple for it never this quickly. He felt

1:22:33

empty as the monster pulled out. What a slug? It seemed

1:22:36

to pause for a second

1:22:38

with its cock just inside Chris's

1:22:40

asshole. Chris could

1:22:42

feel every ridge vein and bump it as as his whole. Watch their bumps on his dick.

1:22:49

He could

1:22:51

feel every ridge, vain,

1:22:53

and bump as

1:22:54

his whole spasm with

1:22:57

pleasure. He continued to let

1:22:59

out involuntary moon after involuntary moon. His cock and nipples rock

1:23:04

hard. You're watching over his

1:23:06

entire body. The SaaS watch watched with curiosity

1:23:08

while the human moon

1:23:11

and wreath, its whole dripping

1:23:14

the sassquatches cock. The humans' moons grew slightly less frequent as did

1:23:19

the rhythmic gripping and the

1:23:21

Sascar determined that the human's odd climax was coming to an end. He

1:23:24

began to thrust inward

1:23:26

again taking the light and

1:23:28

the spression on

1:23:30

the human's face and it looked

1:23:32

back. The human was clearly still in shock,

1:23:34

but its face expressed pure pleasure.

1:23:37

The

1:23:38

SaaS watch thrust his member slowly

1:23:40

but faster than

1:23:43

his initial entry he

1:23:46

enjoyed the varying noises that he

1:23:48

made as he entered it.

1:23:51

Some quiet gas, some

1:23:54

pain grunts. But most out

1:23:56

and moans that declared

1:23:59

pleasure in any language. noises remain

1:24:03

in reverse. That's SaaS through his long, thick cocky, continue to

1:24:05

push in and out of the human.

1:24:07

How you doing reverse? eventually,

1:24:12

the SaaS Watch grew

1:24:14

tired of brief glimpses of

1:24:17

the human's face Damn.

1:24:19

She's a God, the squatch.

1:24:21

She's a bag. The human had

1:24:23

an intensely alluring ass,

1:24:25

and the sasquatch looked at

1:24:27

as cock the It's here. Me

1:24:30

and you. This is fucking

1:24:32

onions almost.

1:24:34

This isn't us. definitely not me. He

1:24:37

lost me there too, not me. Still, he

1:24:39

wanted to see this human's

1:24:41

faces that took

1:24:43

the Sassquatches cock. He wanted

1:24:45

to see the human moon as he thrust in and out of it

1:24:47

and out of it without warning a SaaS watch roughly spun the human while

1:24:49

still fucking him, taking on the

1:24:52

human's facial expressions

1:24:55

with delight as he continued to thrust

1:24:57

in and out. Chris was

1:24:59

an exesee as the beast

1:25:01

continued to fucking from hell. Chris had

1:25:04

gone so far as to reach back and

1:25:06

spread his ass to fuck to allow the

1:25:08

monster to get a

1:25:10

couple of inches deeper. Oh, yeah. The fucking Chris was receiving

1:25:12

was incredible. The warmth

1:25:14

had spread to every

1:25:17

inch of his body. after his annual

1:25:20

orgasm had not left,

1:25:22

if anything, it intensified.

1:25:24

Every single inward

1:25:27

thrusts and pulses of pleasure

1:25:29

throughout his body. Every single hour pull left him with a sense

1:25:31

of emptiness, but

1:25:35

even more. an

1:25:37

intense sense of anticipation for the pleasure he knew he would

1:25:39

soon feel. The monster Chris could not bring

1:25:41

himself to think

1:25:44

of it as anything closer

1:25:46

to human seemed to be getting faster with each thrust, Chris welcome this

1:25:51

change and pace as it led to

1:25:53

more pleasure and and less anticipation. Suddenly

1:25:55

without warning, he felt the the

1:25:58

beast's hands grip him

1:26:00

tightly. and spin

1:26:02

him while its cock was buried ball deep in his ass. Chris let out loud

1:26:05

gasp.

1:26:08

That's a strange feeling before he was put back

1:26:10

on the ground. The monster positioned Chris' legs on

1:26:14

his on his arms and

1:26:16

towered over him and resumed thrusting.

1:26:18

Chris Nudi was in trouble now. Each inward

1:26:21

thrust by the

1:26:23

beast pressed roughly against this prostate

1:26:25

in a way that shoulda rapidly building orgasm. And that

1:26:28

was the last I

1:26:31

think there's another page a lot

1:26:33

of the same shit. God.

1:26:35

Yeah. It's fucking

1:26:39

hot. What the fucking redoing here. I don't

1:26:42

know, man. I don't know if I can really continue this podcast with this

1:26:44

fucking raging boner

1:26:46

that I have right

1:26:48

now. really

1:26:50

long stories. Yeah.

1:26:52

Dog

1:26:52

good though. You've ever been

1:26:54

fucked by a self squash. Send

1:26:58

us an email brookie podcast at

1:27:00

gmail dot com or someone with

1:27:02

an aggressively big penis. Yeah. Love

1:27:05

to talk to you also.

1:27:07

Yeah. You just gotta, you know, you just got one of those

1:27:09

things. We can do

1:27:11

that too. you can do that Always

1:27:16

fun. Well, Those are

1:27:18

big foot attacks. Now it's a little big foot erotica. I don't know what you guys

1:27:20

like. when you two

1:27:22

guys like