0:00

Does every dollar you spend on your groceries, create a healthier planet, build stronger communities and help farmers get a fair wage for their work they could with hungry harvest, get a weekly box of rescued, farm, fresh produce, and grocery staples that fight food waste and hunger delivered right to your door.

0:14

Whether you customize or want to be surprised with our handpicked variety of fruits and veggies, you'll save money and make a real impact.

0:21

Sign up today and get 50% off your first harvest with code hungry [email protected].

0:28

Oh M G. Your BFS birthday is here and you don't know what to get her.

0:33

No worries. One 800 flowers.com has he covered 1-800-FLOWERS is the ultimate birthday gifting destination.

0:39

For those who know it's not about giving a gift.

0:43

It's about giving the gift, make every birthday brighter with exclusive offers and great values on gorgeous bouquets and arrangements.

0:51

To order today, [email protected] slash tune-in that's one 800 flowers.com/tune in Your

1:20

mother's breasts.

1:23

Oh, wow. You've come to the ride podcast.

1:27

Do

1:27

you

1:27

love,

1:27

I'm

1:27

not

1:27

going

1:27

to

1:27

ask

1:27

you

1:27

that

1:33

question. I'm a delicious, delicious from the bro HIO podcast.

1:37

Welcome to the cream spot guys.

1:39

I'm here with my best friend.

1:41

You

1:41

gotta

1:41

tell

1:41

him

1:41

your

1:43

name. Oh, that's me.

1:44

That's

1:47

cold. Hey guys. It's Rob dawg.

1:49

What's going on? Everybody. How's everybody feeling is dude's best friend.

1:52

How you feeling tonight? I don't even know What

1:54

he's doing, Dude.

1:57

I don't even know where I'm at. That's all right, Rob, I got a belly full of chili and lasagna, man.

2:01

I'm not even fucking here. I mean, I'm an Astro traveling right now.

2:05

I text Robin said, Hey man, you want some lasagna?

2:07

My wife, my wife made some really good lasagna.

2:09

And he said, I just had chili.

2:12

And I said, you fat fuck.

2:14

And they immediately texted me back. So yeah, I want you.

2:16

I want some lasagna. I had two bowls of chili.

2:19

My wife gave him a big old, 10 foot tall scaple lasagna and tea, bread sticks.

2:24

And all he's got is a plate and a forklift.

2:27

There was not even a fucking crumb on that Plate.

2:29

You're going to have a BM so bad later on Wipe

2:33

my ass shit explosion.

2:36

I'm going to be able to reach it. And I was telling old, Rob dog, you may have seen the commercials, but Chipotle ice back with their brisket.

2:41

Jesus' size.

2:43

It's so good. It's hit or miss I've had it.

2:46

I've had it. Five times. Three of those times have been unbeatable twice.

2:49

It's tastes like fucking horse meat.

2:52

Really? I haven't had a bad experience with it yet.

2:54

I usually try to go like right around 11 o'clock.

2:56

So it's fucking brand new Killer.

2:59

I had some last night, the morning after I have Chipola.

3:04

I have some type of emergency situation that goes on where I have to bail out.

3:10

And today was no different.

3:11

I was in a stressful situation at work.

3:14

I had to excuse myself, probably top three wars bowel movements of my entire life.

3:20

Now, not as bad as that time, I shit in the trash can turn it upside down there at the book's place.

3:24

They deserved it. This was one of the worst ones.

3:26

This is one of the ones where you just leave an apology note on the stall door.

3:30

Cause you know, the cleaning lady is going to be like, what kind of fat motherfucker lives like this that allows their body to go get so nasty that this is what comes out of it.

3:39

And I come in the clean ladies across America because every time I walk into a bathroom, the way that people define all these things, oh man, it's bad.

3:48

Someone has to go in and clean up after your nasty ass.

3:51

It's at your mom's house. Yeah.

3:53

Someone has to go in there and clean up, man.

3:56

Yeah. We went to, we went to a concert two weeks ago and we went to go use a, the, there was a port-a-potty back behind, back behind a restaurant.

4:06

There was a bad, like a guard patrolling the parking lot just to guide traffic.

4:11

And I was like, Hey, can we, can we use that?

4:13

Port-a-potty back there. And he was like, man, you do not want to go in there.

4:17

He was like, they haven't emptied it out from last, from last night's football game, there was a big, the big football game down there and said university Cincinnati game.

4:26

And I guess they, he said it was up to the top.

4:28

I

4:28

was

4:28

like,

4:28

oh,

4:28

I

4:28

do

4:28

not

4:28

want

4:28

to

4:28

use

4:28

that

4:35

Drug. We get a break. This one. Damn that's all right, dude.

4:38

But you know everybody poops. That's the thing it's important to keep in mind.

4:41

Just because you think you're nasty.

4:43

You're not really nasty because everybody does it.

4:46

Even my grandma poop, God rest her soul.

4:49

She used to give me your bingo money too.

4:51

And I would spend it on candy and cheeseburgers and shit.

4:53

He's been on stuff that made you shit.

4:56

That's okay. Circle life.

4:58

Let's say thank you to our new patron subscribers.

5:00

First up we have whiskey. K Dick.

5:02

So sorry about your name.

5:04

I think it's cool though. Whiskey Dick.

5:06

We appreciate you being a patron in there before Sean

5:09

Massey. Thank you very much, Sean Space

5:12

hippie. That's an opiate. I hope that's your God-given birth name because your fucking mom and dad loved you so much.

5:18

They gave you an awesome name. That doesn't also mean.

5:20

I hope you suck Dick Next

5:23

week, Pedro.

5:24

Thank

5:24

you

5:24

very

5:27

much. Oh man. Look at this one.

5:29

New yeah. Chance is gay with a small Wiener Clawson.

5:32

So

5:32

not

5:32

only

5:32

is

5:32

he

5:32

gay,

5:32

but

5:32

he's

5:32

got

5:32

a

5:32

small

5:38

wieners. That's kind of, if I, the, if I did decide to officially go that route, that's where they would call me.

5:44

And they'd say Nick with the little Dick.

5:45

He's the one.

5:47

He's a sweet boy.

5:48

He's a good neck kisser, but God has his Wiener small And

5:52

next we got Chris dirty Sanchez.

5:54

Thank you very much, Chris.

5:57

And last, but absolutely least Richard big Dick.

6:00

Let LeClaire man.

6:02

They call him Lil chair. Cause he likes when guys sit on his face, but they actually LeClaire Richard big Dick.

6:09

What does that say? Yeah. Dick. So Dick big Dick LeClaire, Dick big Dick.

6:14

Yeah. Then we got chance with the small Wiener, little redundant.

6:16

It is a lot of, a lot of references to small and big, small and big foul sticks.

6:21

And generally has a lot of Dick names here and they know us.

6:24

They got us pinned up against the wall. Speaking of being pinned up against the wall.

6:27

I like handsome boys.

6:30

I also have a newspaper article or you're going to go with that.

6:34

I mean either.

6:35

I got some funny news for you guys.

6:38

I know we used to do the battlefield of love.

6:40

We didn't do one last week because every night, last week I was so fucking goddamn busy.

6:46

I'm never busy. I am the most.

6:48

I'm the laziest person in the entire world.

6:51

Oh man, me too. My wife asked me December 23rd, 2020 to take down the Christmas decorations for this year.

6:59

I still haven't done it and I'm not doing it until after Thanksgiving.

7:02

Just tell her you're planning ahead for next year.

7:04

That was all you got damn terrorists hanging up fucking Christmas decorations.

7:08

The beginning of November.

7:10

That's why it's fucking snowing already in Ohio.

7:12

Because all these people hanging fucking Christmas trees and the beginning of November, give me time to eat my cranberry and stuffing.

7:19

You fucking festive bitches.

7:21

You got your eggs on your peppermint mocha.

7:24

You got all that shit going on.

7:27

You'll tied fair. I don't give a fuck.

7:29

I'm not ready for Christmas yet.

7:30

No, I don't want to think about how much money I have to spend on Christmas and how poor I'm going to be.

7:35

I don't want to think about eating fucking ketchup packets and condiments.

7:38

I stole from the gas station on the day after Christmas.

7:40

Cause I don't have enough money to put baloney on the table.

7:43

It takes me three months to recover after Christmas, every single fucking year.

7:46

And then as soon as your cover, it's like, oh you're comes Easter bunny got to buy a fucking $200 bag of jelly, goddamn beans.

7:53

Or in my case, my fucking truck breaks down.

7:55

Well

7:55

I

7:55

was

7:55

so

7:55

this

7:55

is

7:55

a

7:55

cool

8:00

dream. I had the other night that I've been waiting to tell you about this.

8:02

So your truck keeps breaking down.

8:05

Then my father has been a mechanic for fucking a thousand years.

8:08

He's been my guardian angel. He's been Rozman Tang his truck to my dad and his truck was in the shop for months, months on end.

8:17

And he got it out. And then two different things have broken since then you had your radiator explode and then your gas line was like fucking rotted out.

8:25

And my battery went dead. But that was, that was an easy fix.

8:27

But nonetheless, yeah, he's been taking the truck, my dad and I feel like once a week I get a text from Rama.

8:32

Hey man, my fuck truck's broken.

8:34

I

8:34

just

8:34

wait

8:34

for

8:36

it. But then this last week, his radiator exploded and he sent me a picture of it and this goddamn thing.

8:42

Oh yeah, it was floated everywhere.

8:44

But in my dream you pull up to my house and the truck is just knocking back.

8:48

It's knocking like is getting ready to blow up.

8:50

And I came out and I was like laughing and you're but you were emo, you got a truck you're aware, like a plucking black comb over fake eyelashes and black fingernails.

9:00

And then I was like, laughing.

9:02

You got to ask them, what the fuck are you doing?

9:04

And you were dead serious. Me. And you're like, man, I fucking hate you for this.

9:07

And I was like, and you're like, you're like your dad fixed my truck.

9:13

But then told me he was going to sell me a brand new one.

9:15

And I bought the brand new one and this is it.

9:18

But this is my old truck.

9:19

But then I said, Robert, think about it, man.

9:23

You've replaced so much stuff on the truck.

9:26

It's like a brand new truck. Maybe that's what he's trying to fucking tell him.

9:29

That's what he's trying to tell you. It's a brand new truck and you're like, I don't care, man.

9:32

I'm going down the road of my musical career.

9:34

I'm going to start pursuing my musical stuff.

9:36

And you're like, fucking flipping your hair at me and show him if I had hair, I'd do that.

9:40

And I was trying to be cool with you, man. But you kept on being pushy.

9:42

You're like, God, I fucking hate you. I'm burn your house down.

9:45

I said, you burned my house down.

9:47

I'm gonna come in here and rip those fake eyelashes off and smack you around with.

9:49

I don't remember what it was, but you were so upset.

9:51

And I said, dude, fucking comb your hair, get the fuck out of here.

9:54

And then you called me.

9:56

You called me from Bev's mom's phone after that.

9:59

Oh shit. To apologize. And tell me you've been drinking your store and pills and shit.

10:03

I just driving around your snort pills, drinking.

10:08

And he decided to dress up like a fucking emo fucking we've all been there.

10:12

This dream was so real man.

10:15

And like, because my fucking truck always breaks down and I'm so mellow and chill.

10:19

I could just never, I can. I don't like, you're just, you're that point in my life, in my heart where I don't care what you do.

10:26

I don't think I could ever get mad at you.

10:28

And that's how I was the dream. I'm like chill out, man, bro.

10:32

Fucking cool, man.

10:33

You're like, I fucking hate you.

10:35

I hate your fucking house.

10:36

Your

10:36

FA

10:36

I

10:36

hate

10:36

your

10:36

fucking

10:40

dog. I hate your cat.

10:41

Like you were just standing there staring at me and I'm just, I got my arms up.

10:45

I don't think anything could make me that mad. And you were like looking past me and you told me my garage door was open.

10:50

He said, shut your fucking garage door.

10:52

What

10:52

are

10:52

you

10:52

here

10:56

for? Fucking respect your garage door.

10:58

We're fighting.

10:58

I said, man, where are you?

11:01

So upset? I'm to do that. So good dude.

11:03

Chill out, man. I was trying not to laugh at you cause you have this dumb comb-over you only had like, you only had like three nails painted black.

11:11

Damn you gotta step my game up on my nail game.

11:14

It was a lot of fun though. I woke up, I was laughing at like fucking four o'clock in the morning.

11:19

I wouldn't go piss.

11:21

I'm just laughing, squirt and piss all over the place.

11:24

I can't see what I'm doing. That's so great.

11:26

Alright. Where's the article terminally ill man arrested for mooning at speed camera.

11:30

Eliane Darryl, me Meekum who was recently told you had multiple system, a trophy exposed himself at the van and Kidderminster war were shyer.

11:40

Oh, I love their sauce. On Friday.

11:41

He said he was forced to the, to the ground during his arrest later, the same day west Marsha police at a 55 year old man was arrested on suspicion of in these exposure and dangerous driving wheelchair user.

11:56

Mr. MACOM, who also has heart disease, kidney failure and Parkinson's disease.

12:00

God damn. He got the fucking straight flush right there, buddy.

12:03

After his diagnosis, he came up with a so-called bucket list of things he wanted to do before he died.

12:09

He decided to target the speed camera on star bridge road in his hometown.

12:15

After he had had been caught by, I gotta move this close to my face.

12:19

I can't fucking see what I'm reading.

12:20

He

12:20

said

12:20

it

12:20

was

12:20

called

12:20

a

12:20

couple

12:20

times

12:20

for

12:20

silly

12:20

speeds,

12:20

like

12:20

35

12:20

miles

12:20

per

12:20

hour

12:20

in

12:20

a

12:20

30

12:20

mile

12:20

an

12:20

hour

12:29

zone. And it always bugged me. He said, I don't think anything of it said the father of two added it was a good laugh.

12:34

However, the response took him by surprise.

12:36

I was simply gobsmacked that I got arrested for mooning, a speed camera.

12:40

He said they picked the shit out of him, man.

12:43

We call them British cops, no guns, fucking big bellies.

12:46

And just beating this dude in a soccer Jersey.

12:48

He said, he said about six officers arrive at his home a short time later asking, be let in.

12:56

When he refused his garden gate was kicked in and the officers got him to the ground to cuff him.

13:01

He said he, his wife filmed the frightening incident during which Mr.

13:04

Meekum told the officers he was terminally ill and would struggle in a and he would struggle to breathe.

13:09

He said he also suffered from a blow to the head.

13:11

I did not resist arrest once.

13:13

And I felt the response was completely disproportionate.

13:15

And the circumstances he said, Mr McCombe who felt unwell and went to the hospital after his release from custody said he reported the incident to the independent office for our police conduct.

13:25

The police had officers received a report of indecent exposure on star bridge road, about 1300, a GMT watch.

13:33

I think as gentlemen, mountain time on the 5th of November and attended a property in Cooley close with the intention of speaking to an individual regarding the incident, the four set on arrival officers attempted to speak to the man.

13:44

However, the situation developed, which led to a subsequent arrest on suspicion of indecent exposure.

13:49

So he was just said, you know, I'm in a wheelchair.

13:52

I got Parkinson's. I got a fucking tight ass butt hole.

13:56

You got all kinds of stuff going on with him.

13:58

And he's he was terminal.

13:59

And he said, I'm going to just go.

14:02

I'm going to moon.

14:03

This camera just let me live my life.

14:06

I'm going to beat the shit out of these cop.

14:08

That's what I'm going to do. And I, I mean, I got cop friends.

14:11

I'm respectful to the police. But when I find out that I have a terminal illness, which is inevitably going to happen to me, I'm just going to vigilante fight cops.

14:19

I'm going to let them and I'm not going to let them get me.

14:22

I'm going to be so swift footed and fleet to fleet footed slick with my hands.

14:27

You got a streak at a sports game to knocked a shit at all.

14:30

Yeah. That's a good way to, for training ghost, go streaking and let with them.

14:34

Goddamn top flight rent a cop, try and stop my ass.

14:37

Yeah, some fat fucking Dick head and a yellow shirt.

14:40

And just give him a shoulder and watch them get older.

14:42

The flying round house.

14:44

I would fuck everybody up there.

14:46

I would just, you spin, kick everybody on that, man, that'd be so much fun.

14:50

It would be a lot of fun.

14:51

And with the power of editing right now, we're going to drop in to a podcast.

14:57

Promos one is Tara from world's dumbest criminal.

15:01

She sounds Australian.

15:03

I think it's safe to assume they're souped assume there.

15:06

So she automatically captured our attention.

15:08

And the next is our friends at ghosts in the night.

15:11

And I'm a drop their promos in right here. Go check them out.

15:18

Did you hear about the Wells tourists who got drunk and stole a penguin named Dirk from SeaWorld on the gold coast or the Canadian guy who tried to beat a breathalyzer test by eating his own underpants?

15:29

Hey,

15:29

I'm

15:32

Tara. Saraband from world's dumbest criminals, an upbeat podcast about deadbeat crimps.

15:37

Join me every Monday to hear about the most ridiculous, bizarre and downright state.

15:43

You could crimes and criminals in the world ever liked the Australian man who put out an unsuccessful, hit on his wife and freaked out when she crashed her own funeral.

15:53

Well, the Chinese woman who deliberately ran 49 red lights in her ex-boyfriend's car.

15:58

Well dumb as criminals is available on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere else, you listen to podcasts.

16:05

Make sure you subscribe.

16:08

If you don't want to miss any criminally stupid shenanigans, What's

16:15

going on everybody. I am Phil and I'm Travis.

16:17

And we are the co-hosts of ghost in the night, a hauntings and paranormal podcast.

16:21

If you're into things that go bump in the night and they make your sphincter tight, then where you guys will cover everything from the ghosties in the closet to the monster scissors under the bed, the Yetis, the bigfoots, everything you could possibly want in the world and even a little true crime.

16:36

If it tickles your pickle, you can catch us live every week on YouTube.

16:39

Or you can find this on your favorite podcast app.

16:42

We absolutely can crush And

16:48

we're back. Wow, what do you mean stop?

16:50

Like we didn't even stop YouTube.

16:52

They're going to be what the fuck happened. Well, you got to download the podcast, which puts money in our pocket, which makes you happy.

16:57

Makes us happy. It makes everybody happy.

17:00

And then you can go check out the promos at the 13 minute mark for 10 minute mark.

17:05

And now this next part of the podcast is where we cover the main, the nut of the episode.

17:12

Oh yeah.

17:14

I made Robert drink and I've been drinking it all week.

17:17

Yeah, man.

17:18

You're beating me for a while.

17:20

And then I came back in the home stretch and pulled ahead.

17:24

Oh, it's delicious. It's very good. Closer.

17:26

You get to the bottom. The better it tastes. Just like my butthole.

17:28

What I got here is I got some Coke, zero and I have Buffalo trace bourbon.

17:35

You do a couple shots of bourbon.

17:37

Fill up the rest with the Buffalo trace and the Dunkin's and cherry juice.

17:42

And I got some Woodford reserve cherries, which those cherries are amazing.

17:47

They are so good. I'd call it a wood, a Woodforest cherries.

17:51

And my wife's like, that's the ghetto ass bank at Walmart.

17:54

I

17:54

said,

17:54

I

17:54

used

17:54

to

17:54

bank

17:57

there. It was, I was fucked up when I was 19.

17:59

They were the only people that give me a checking account.

18:01

Whatever you got to do.

18:02

I needed somewhere to take my check.

18:05

Yeah. Cause my, I used to work for a security company and my paychecks would bounce.

18:10

Imagine getting a payroll check and your check bouncing.

18:13

And it fucked my bank up.

18:15

They're like, well, no, you can't bank here anymore because you keep on bouncing these checks.

18:17

And I said, okay, well I guess I got to go to Woodforest bank inside the Walmart.

18:22

I got to go.

18:23

Yeah, the fuck me up, dude.

18:25

Luckily I've never had that happen before.

18:27

So I was buying diapers for my first daughter.

18:29

My card got declined. I knew that I had money in there.

18:32

I called the bank. They said, your payroll check got sent back.

18:35

It got rejected. The bounced.

18:36

I said these motherfuckers.

18:39

So I didn't even call my boss.

18:40

I went to the place I was supposed to work that night.

18:43

It was a nasty bar.

18:45

I didn't go in. I just waited in the parking lot for them to call me.

18:49

And they're like, ah, the Bart is called, where are you at?

18:51

I said, where's my fucking money.

18:53

I

18:53

played

18:53

hard

18:53

ball

18:56

dude. And they were already kind of short.

18:58

You know, this is like fucking 15, what?

19:02

13, 12, 13 years ago.

19:03

And he's like, I'll bring you your money, but can you go inside and work until I get there?

19:09

I said, app's a fucking lutely. Not dude.

19:11

Nobody wanted to work there. I was the only, you know, the hood loves Nicholas.

19:14

So I love working there.

19:16

It was a, it was called the Webster station.

19:18

I had no problems working there, but they brought my fucking money.

19:21

And then I want, anytime I work into that, I fucking love it.

19:24

Yeah. And I said, for now on you, motherfuckers can pay me in cash, money on documented cash money.

19:31

And they did too.

19:32

No more bouncing checks shit.

19:34

There you go. Slap the shit out of somebody over some money.

19:37

You gotta do, man.

19:38

Get them diapers.

19:39

Boy, I was buying diapers at a gas station too.

19:43

That's how lazy I was. I talked about that earlier in the episode that I was lazy and I told my wife, I said, I think I saw some Huggies that Speedway paying for four times what they were actually paying, you know, 30 bucks for 10 diapers.

19:56

You're paying that price as if like someone just shitted themselves and you need emergency diapers.

20:01

It

20:01

was

20:03

me.

20:03

Now

20:03

this

20:03

episode

20:03

is

20:03

called

20:03

stranger

20:03

danger

20:03

and

20:03

kind

20:03

of

20:03

what

20:03

this

20:03

episode

20:03

is

20:03

I

20:03

kinda

20:03

got

20:03

on

20:03

and

20:03

going

20:03

down

20:03

the

20:03

wormhole,

20:03

I'm

20:03

working

20:03

on

20:03

a

20:03

big

20:14

one. I'm working on a big episode.

20:15

Just I don't wanna, I don't want to limp noodle it.

20:19

I want to have a lot of invested in it.

20:21

It was a good, good topic.

20:22

So I needed something kind of quick to throw together.

20:25

This is called stranger danger. This is instances of people having exceptionally weird encounters with strangers.

20:33

I know a few months ago we did an episode called like they don't want you to don't tell.

20:40

I don't remember what it was. Just episodes stories of people that had stories were so weird that just never told anybody.

20:46

Yeah, but these are encounters with strangers.

20:48

Some of these are funny.

20:49

Some of these are fucking terrifying, but nonetheless, these are just encounters that people have had with strangers around the world.

20:56

You ever had any weird, weird, weird encounters with strangers that you recall, maybe, maybe you will, your brain will.

21:02

It'll pick your brain when we get through the episode.

21:04

Not that I, not that I remember besides this one, dude, who was asking me for directions and they followed me home and stole my bike.

21:10

It

21:10

all

21:10

so

21:10

fucking

21:14

salty. Oh man. Where was that at?

21:16

Backed by one of my old houses.

21:18

When I lived in Weaver, I was probably see, I would have been in third or fourth grade.

21:22

I had just gotten that bike to fuck that lady.

21:25

It was like, what road is this? I'm like the street signs right there, bro.

21:28

Like we were right by the stop sign. And I was like, yeah, this is blah, blah, blah.

21:33

And he was like, oh, okay. And then he watched where I pulled a low, we were like three houses away from where my house was watching me pulled in.

21:39

I went inside to go take a piss or take a shit or something.

21:42

And it came back out. My bike was gone. I'm like, ah, fucking cool.

21:44

Oh man, fuck that dude.

21:46

Yeah, it was Pissed me off. You can get your new bike, bro.

21:50

We need a new mountain bike At

21:53

Capella university. Education is as smart as the world around us with the FlexPath format, you can take classes at your own pace, set your own deadlines and even leverage your previous experience to move faster.

22:04

Now that smart, learn [email protected] acapella university.

22:09

You're in control of your education with the game changing FlexPath format, you can set your own deadlines and move at your own pace.

22:16

The faster you move, the more you save, visit capella.edu to learn more.

22:24

This one's called. I don't know what this one's called, but this person, some of these are from Reddit.

22:28

Some of these are just from the darkness holes, corners of the internet.

22:32

All the dark halls says Christmas Eve.

22:34

I'm standing in line at the last remaining blockbuster video in the entire world, which I did investigate this week as an Oregon unbeliev.

22:42

I

22:42

think

22:42

it's

22:42

Oregon,

22:42

but

22:42

there's

22:42

one

22:42

blockbuster

22:42

left

22:42

in

22:42

the

22:42

entire

22:47

world. It's more of like a tourist attraction, but they still rent movies.

22:50

Rental. I'll say no wonder why still there is nothing else to fucking do In

22:55

Oregon, Oregon, the Oregon trail, Oregon.

22:57

That's where I died from typhoid many times as a young child, Christmas Eve standing in line at the last remaining blockbuster video in the entire world.

23:06

When this weird older dude holding a bag at Dude.

23:10

Yes. I love baguettes. Give me a slice brother.

23:13

Cut. It's in line ahead of me, man.

23:14

It's almost Christmas. So I ignore the cutting, but then he starts talking to me, walks Up

23:20

all the

23:20

It

23:20

says,

23:20

this

23:20

is

23:20

quoting

23:27

him. It says I mow lawns for living me a polite nod to him.

23:32

I go recut these people's lawn.

23:35

They have these two giant dogs like a rotten, a lab, big ass dog.

23:38

And they've shit all over the lawn.

23:39

At this point, I'm just staring at him open mouth because I'm not used to strange men holding.

23:44

Talk to me about dog shit at blockbuster video.

23:47

And apparently my shock has taken a as encouragement to continue his weird little story him.

23:52

So I can't mow the lawn with all that shit on it.

23:56

So I go around scooping up 20 pounds of dog crap and I have nowhere to put it.

24:00

So I dump it all in this Christmas box.

24:01

I have sitting in the back of my truck and finished my job.

24:04

Then I go over to the grocery store across the way to buy my baguette and I get back.

24:08

Some asshole stole my dog shit.

24:10

It

24:10

was

24:13

So fucking stoked on the dog. Shit That I was going to go over the clothes that my underwear Roll

24:23

out in battery. You fry anything.

24:25

It tastes good. I get back some asshole stolen my dog shit right back of my truck.

24:30

And now I have to find something else to give my ex-wife for Christmas.

24:34

Who

24:34

then

24:34

took

24:34

a

24:34

look

24:34

around

24:34

him

24:34

in

24:34

surprise

24:34

and

24:34

states

24:34

where

24:34

the

24:34

fuck

24:41

am. I don't even know why I'm in here. I'm not buying a video.

24:44

And then he leaves That

24:46

dude had to have been fucked up. Oh, I don't know Man

24:49

telling you he's working.

24:49

He's on his lunch break.

24:51

He had A fucking baguette.

24:53

Sounds like he was completely prepared to give his ex-wife a fucking Christmas box full of 20 pounds of dog.

25:00

He probably went and picked up all that dog shit with his fingers and went and bought a baguette and was just holding it in his hands and his poop hands.

25:06

And I hate, you've never really had a dog, but I fucking hates shoveling dog shit, man.

25:12

Yeah. It's been a long time since had a Dog. I got to go around the back yard.

25:15

Some of it's hot and fresh and squishy.

25:17

So it's hard like a fucking owl pellet, but it's all, it's all foul it just, and I don't even have big dogs.

25:22

I make little poop. I feed them really.

25:24

The key is to feed them really high quality food.

25:27

You know, I spend like fucking 70 or 80 bucks a bag on, on dog food.

25:32

Just cause I don't, you can't feed them kibbles and bits and expect them to have expecting to be good.

25:40

The dues are especially like tech talks or these people will give their dogs, the raw meat and stuff.

25:44

Diet. There was one, this fucking guy gave his like Caviar,

25:46

like a quail Whaling.

25:49

They knows a flood. You like fucking quail.

25:51

I was like this big. And it was like deep fried.

25:52

And like, it was like lamb, bones and shit.

25:55

And I'm like this fucking dog. Good.

25:57

Yeah man. It's healthy for them.

25:59

There they're national natural carnivores predators, man.

26:02

It's good for a, I don't even know what I feed my dogs.

26:05

It's puppy. It's like, it's expensive puppy food, but Bruce Bruce's 13.

26:10

He loves it. He eats it.

26:11

But now when he shits, I may have to get them off the puppy food because he'll legit shit like us.

26:18

He'll be out there squatting in the yard for 20 minutes.

26:20

And I'm just saying, Hey man, what are you doing?

26:23

You got gotta, he need my Phone

26:26

To read your story. You got to get you squared away pal, but he's out there.

26:30

He's just taking a shit.

26:33

The

26:33

other,

26:33

this

26:33

is

26:33

last

26:33

night

26:33

and

26:33

God

26:33

fucking

26:33

love

26:33

this

26:33

dog,

26:40

man. I hope he's not dying.

26:41

I can't handle to take another one dead dogs in one year.

26:45

But Paisley fell asleep on the couch.

26:49

I picked her up. I was taking her to her room and we just got our new bed.

26:52

She's got a bed with a slide slide, like a loft bed with slides.

26:55

She loves it, man. But for my fat ass, fucking tough putting her up there, she's falling asleep.

27:00

She's getting big.

27:00

But then Bruce followed me in so fucking funny.

27:06

And I put her, I'm like, oh, struggle to put her up there.

27:11

And when I was like struggling to get her up there, I turned around and Bruce's all like worked.

27:15

Like he gets worked up anytime.

27:17

He sees me struggling. I'm his guy and he, and he feels it.

27:20

Yeah. I turned around my Bruce man. You okay?

27:22

And just out of fucking nowhere, shotgun blast to diarrhea.

27:27

He's

27:27

just

27:27

staring

27:27

at

27:27

we're

27:27

fucking

27:27

five

27:27

feet

27:27

away

27:27

from

27:27

each

27:32

other. And he's just not even squad.

27:34

And did this ale, confetti cannons, A

27:42

t-shirt gun.

27:44

And it sounded like a fucking fart.

27:45

The shotgun blasted diarrhea.

27:48

It was so upset and the shame fucking, he tried not to step in, but I said, and I know what it was.

27:58

I made a, I smoked a pulled pork and I gave him some of it.

28:02

Oh yeah. And he ate too much.

28:03

Stacey said, don't give him that much.

28:06

Don't get sick. I said the dude's fine.

28:07

And then he'd be shotgun. Blast me and put him in Bailey's room.

28:11

That's

28:11

what

28:11

it

28:11

sounded

28:14

like.

28:14

And

28:14

I

28:14

said,

28:14

God

28:14

damn

28:14

man,

28:14

poop,

28:14

mist

28:14

all

28:14

over

28:14

the

28:14

hallway

28:20

spray. Oh man, that's bad. Poor guy.

28:23

But the best part was is he didn't like even arches back.

28:26

He just maintained perfect walking posture and then fucking poop gun.

28:31

He pooped gun means just, oh shit.

28:34

He wants me to die.

28:35

Oh

28:35

man,

28:35

this

28:35

next

28:35

one

28:35

is

28:39

you. This is the airport. All right.

28:41

This might be a long, no, it's not that long.

28:44

This is really long. But it's good.

28:46

I flew from already you to lax with my child on a red eye to avoid the hassle of renting a car.

28:52

I called a driver from a reputable limo company.

28:55

This was before Uber Lyft was a thing.

28:57

I think, I don't know when they started, honestly, it was almost 2:00 AM and my child was fast asleep and the driver was helpful.

29:04

Putting my bags away into the truck.

29:06

When we got onto the five, he kept texting and swerving everywhere, which was terrifying enough in itself.

29:12

After about half an hour, he said, he's not taking me and my child to my parent's house.

29:16

He's taking me to meet his friends.

29:18

Instead. My thoughts to myself, where do I put this guy in a choke hold and Ricks and at risk and accident with my child in the car?

29:24

Or do I text my parents quietly?

29:26

I end up texting my parents one.

29:29

I, yeah. One was on the phone or I ended up texting my parents.

29:36

Yeah. Sorry. I don't, I don't proofread These. Yeah, that's okay.

29:38

While I was on the phone with the police and one was on the phone with me.

29:41

So there we go. I replied to the instructions through text and downloaded the app glimpse onto my phone, which showed them in real time where I was the app.

29:50

I firmly believe saved my child and I, from whatever that man was planning, I haven't ordered a driver or taxi since, because of that incident scared me so bad.

29:58

That's scary man, to be in.

29:59

Because as, as you know, we've got Lyft and Uber, which is essentially killing the taxi industry, which is whatever.

30:08

But every time I've been a taxi cab, those drivers are the nastiest.

30:13

They got duck butter on their balls for sure.

30:16

Oh yeah man. There's we never, we I've never been in an actual, like legit taxi before.

30:21

I've been like, not in like a place that actually has them besides like when we went on cruise and we're in other countries, but those are like, that's completely.

30:27

And that they're cutthroat as fuck the like when we were in scary ride, we were in different countries, man.

30:32

Those, we had people getting in fights over taking us places.

30:37

Really? Oh dude. Yeah. Yeah.

30:39

Like fist fights. They need that money dude.

30:40

That's what I'm saying, man. That's good stuff.

30:43

Yeah. It was a good time. Wish Americans wake up and want to go to work like that.

30:46

Exactly. You get fucking something.

30:48

Get this $5 a gallon gas down a little bit.

30:51

Hell man. Yeah, no.

30:53

They want us to get electric cars is what they want.

30:55

That'd be cool. I was looking to, I was shopping.

30:58

It's crazy thing. My car, my car, the price of cars has gone up so much that my car that I bought a year ago is now worth $5,000 more than what I paid for it.

31:10

And I've kinda been thinking about trading it in and I priced the Tesla last night.

31:14

It's like $70,000 for their cheapest base model.

31:18

And I got to find a fucking hole to plug it into.

31:22

Yeah, I'll just keep my car.

31:24

I don't need a fucking Tesla.

31:25

These tools. They are man.

31:27

They are Really fucking cool. I just want to, I want to be able to, I want the th the custom horn rack and blow my horn.

31:33

It was like, get the fuck out of the way I can program it to say whatever I want.

31:36

Yeah. I think That's really fucking Cool. Or I get programmed to be my safe word.

31:39

Don't stop. Yeah.

31:40

Stop till you hit the spot.

31:44

Fuck. I just want to be able to customize my horn as I that's the only reason I want to Tesla.

31:49

That's pretty cool. Yeah.

31:51

It's, it's silly.

31:53

It's a dumb reason to get a Tesla. It is that, and it cost as much as a fucking house in Ohio.

31:58

Yeah. Yeah, no, you that. Then you got to pay to fucking charge the bastard.

32:00

And even if you use like one of the public chargers, they like send you a bill, Getting

32:05

the mail. And I think a danger Tesla account on a Bunch

32:09

of bullshit, Fucking wild.

32:10

After my first year of college, I decided that I wanted a place of my own.

32:15

This is a good one, a little long, but it's good.

32:18

I decided that I want to play some Maya and there was nothing wrong with the dormitories.

32:22

Mind you, I just preferred the control and the quiet that a little privacy would afford.

32:28

Sure. I wound up renting a place about two blocks away from campus and everything about it seemed perfect.

32:33

It was inexpensive. So $7,000 a month in San Francisco, probably about what, what that was close to public transportation and within walking distance of shopping and laundry.

32:44

However, there was one thing, a person actually that made living there a little bit odd one afternoon, just as I was coming home, I was greeted by a girl standing on my doorstep.

32:53

Ah, okay.

32:55

Hmm. This is how most of the pornos say the same exact thing yet.

32:58

She was a short chubby individual in her late twenties.

33:01

Bring

33:01

it

33:01

here,

33:04

girl. Who's spoken away. That was both entirely clear and completely and incomprehensible.

33:10

If that concept confuses you imagine what it was like to hear.

33:14

She told me that her restroom was being remodeled and asked if she could use mine.

33:19

I hesitantly obliged if only because I was so taken aback by the request, she followed me inside, went to my bathroom almost as though she'd already known where the bathroom was and then complete silence after five minutes or so I knocked on the door quote, I'm sorry to disturb you.

33:38

I said, but I need to be leaving soon.

33:40

It was a lie, but I was growing a touch concern by her behavior in response to my query.

33:45

She immediately opened the door, said something that might have been a thank you and then stood in my living room.

33:51

So if you could get going, I continued.

33:54

That would be great. She replied by asking me for a drink.

33:58

Listen, I answered.

33:59

You need to leave.

34:00

Why are you seven around purple?

34:03

The gumption.

34:03

My thoughts.

34:06

Exactly.

34:06

And

34:06

then

34:06

it

34:06

says

34:12

Elliot. That's what I heard. Say that sentence again.

34:15

I'm going to read the sentence exactly. As I was, as it was written, where are you?

34:19

Seven around purple. The gumption.

34:21

Purple

34:21

the

34:25

gumption. Okay. So she was on mushrooms.

34:27

I

34:27

don't

34:30

know. Please leave. Please leave.

34:32

She finally started to head towards the door and I closed it after her, before she could make another request.

34:37

My first thought was the girl was homeless, but she seemed to clean and well-groomed for that to be true.

34:42

Perhaps I reason she had been completely honest with me and I'd simply been too paranoid about the situation.

34:48

It turned out that neither option was the truth.

34:51

As I began to learn when she showed up again with an identical request, about three months later, this time I apologized and turned her away.

34:59

Wondering as I did, what kind of bathroom remodeled took that long?

35:03

It was kind of poop that the Chipola shit.

35:05

Hell yeah. Your bathroom up like that.

35:07

Things took a turn for the truly bizarre.

35:09

After that some time had passed since my last encounter with the girl and I had all but forgotten about her.

35:14

Then one evening, my roommate, a friendly jovial fellow named Victor decided to make himself dinner.

35:20

And since our apartment wasn't the most well ventilated of domiciles.

35:24

He had the front door open as a makeshift Vint from my room.

35:28

I could hear him stirring a pot against a stirring, a spoon against the pot when suddenly he stopped.

35:34

Hmm. Oh, hello you.

35:36

This was followed by the sound of hurried footsteps, a door slamming shut, and Victor poking his head through my door.

35:43

Hey, so he said scratching his head and the amusement.

35:47

Do you have a friend over or something?

35:50

No. Why? I asked with a swiveling around to face him.

35:54

Some girl just walked in and locked herself in the bathroom.

35:57

Oh no. I thought was the sh was she short with brown hair?

36:02

Yeah. Victory applied kind of fat.

36:04

That's mean that's her.

36:07

I replied Victor.

36:09

She's the one I told you about the one who keeps asking to use the bathroom.

36:13

Victor began to look worried while she's in there.

36:16

Now what should we do?

36:17

Call the fucking cops.

36:19

But after a brief debate, we decided that we'd confront the girl together.

36:25

Victor. I'm sure it was a big, strong, manly lab.

36:27

Then all of San Francisco, we knocked on the door and asked her to open it.

36:31

And after receiving no response decided to resort to more drastic measures as a hobby, I'd studied lockpicking and since our bathroom door had an actual tumbler in its handle, the skills I learned and came in handy, it took me about three minutes, but I got the door unlocked only to discover that the girl had positioned herself firmly against it, barring us from entry.

36:49

It took the combined strength of my roommate and me to force it open and all the while the girls screaming, no daddy, she will fight for me, daddy.

37:01

Wow. This situation was surreal and more than a light, a little frightening.

37:05

And it was made all the more absurd.

37:07

When a middle-aged man and woman came rushing into our apartment is our daughter in there.

37:13

The man demanded, she just came in Victor Yelp.

37:15

We didn't do anything.

37:16

I'm

37:16

so

37:19

sorry. The middle-aged woman chimed in, she hasn't been taking her medication.

37:22

We learned as the girl's father dragged her from the bathroom that they were the previous owners of the apartment and the house that in that and the house that it was in their daughter was apparently operating under the mistaken notion that she still lived there.

37:36

And that Victor and I were the interlopers.

37:38

We received profuse apologies from the girl's parents and the promise that their daughter wouldn't bother us ever again.

37:45

The very next day, there was a knock on the door.

37:47

Oh, max, Victor called she's back.

37:51

Sure enough, the girl was on our front step again, pounding on the wall and demanding to be let in.

37:56

What should we do? The girl's parents had given us the, the girl's parents had given us their phone number just in case.

38:02

But fortunately it went straight to voicemail.

38:03

There was no way we were letting that girl into our apartment again, but it didn't seem like the she'd go away on her own.

38:10

In the end, we decided the best course of action was to call the fucking police.

38:14

Sure. Five minutes passed before the first cruiser arrived at front.

38:17

We opened the door in time to see an officer in his sixties, talking gently to the girl.

38:21

Then a second police car arrived.

38:23

And the third and the girl provoked by something only.

38:26

She could see her here decided to attack the cops.

38:29

The officer who had been speaking to her, she was swiftly subdued and handcuffed, both of hands and feet, all the while screaming in a language that resembled English, but was still complete jibberish.

38:40

It was only then the girl's parents arrived, both looking concerned, but still like they're expecting the scene in front of them.

38:47

Things quieted down. After that, the girl was released in the care of her parents.

38:50

And nobody seemed inclined to remember the attempted assault, both Victor and I declined to press charges.

38:56

And we wound up chatting with the officer for a good half an hour.

38:58

It was, we found out literally his last day on the job before retiring.

39:03

Oh man. He told us some hilarious stories about his days before becoming a cop and his adventures as a rookie, as well as a brief history of the girl, we had so much trouble with her family.

39:13

He explained we're old friends of his and their daughter had an especially bad form of schizophrenia.

39:17

She was paranoid about taking your medication, which only made things worse for her.

39:21

And although her parents were supposed to get a Heba, vigilant watch over her, they were often lax about it.

39:27

It wasn't the most pleasant of situations he had to admit, but at least it made for some interesting stories.

39:32

I definitely agree with him about that.

39:34

TLDR, a schizophrenia stranger tried to lay claim to my bathroom.

39:38

Oh, a shit.

39:41

That's what I would have said.

39:44

Yes. Hey, Hey fat boy, I want you to an ass.

39:47

What fat boys do? They fucking poop?

39:49

I'm in here taking a big old fat, chunky poop.

39:51

I said that the other day I was at a drop the kids off my moms.

39:54

And I went to the bathroom. My mom said, what are you doing?

39:56

I send my technique. Bill chunky shit, chunky one.

40:00

She said, you're fucking gross.

40:02

Anytime my mom hits me with the F-word.

40:05

I know she's thinking about fucking aborting me.

40:08

If she could do that, go back 34 years and cram a fucking traffic cone up her butt and kill my ass.

40:13

I know that's what she would've done a big chunky shit.

40:17

Every time I do something stupid, my dad's always like bottle condom.

40:22

25 says I got to bought a condom.

40:25

You know, I, I think I've talked about this before, but my, my older brother, he's about 10 years older than me and my mom had a really hard time having him.

40:34

They really did a number on her. They said they own it.

40:37

She almost died on the operating table.

40:38

They said, listen, this kid, he really did a number on your urine, your internals, your lady parts.

40:46

Unfortunately you're not gonna be able to have kids again.

40:49

And that kind of devastated my mom and dad, as they wanted more than one, just one kid flash forward, 10 years, feel a little fucking, you know, morning sickness going on, take a pregnancy test.

41:00

They're pregnant with me. Probably the coolest fucking dude ever born in the entire world.

41:06

Life is perfect, but they got like, you know, a 10 year old and they got me.

41:10

So that's a big gap. Huge gap. Yes. They were closing it down after the C-section for me, my mom had her tubes tied and fucking tubes tied and then locked up.

41:19

I don't even know.

41:21

Was it 16 months after I was born, she gets pregnant with no, it was just a few months after I was born.

41:32

I don't remember the exact amount, but just a few months after I was more, she got pregnant with my younger brother after she had her tubes tied, he was a baby.

41:41

He's a baby. And I always tell him, my little brother always say, you knew what the fuck is wrong with you, dude.

41:46

The pipes are, he came out of mom's ass tubes are tied.

41:51

So only half of your sperm could fit through.

41:52

And that's why you're so dumb. Idiotic and stupid.

41:55

But he's not.

41:57

He's smart. He's a good dude. I got good brothers, but I always tell my little brother, he's a piece of shit.

42:01

You stupid. But he tells me the same thing.

42:04

Sure. Yeah. That's what brothers do. Only half the sperm to get through on that one.

42:08

And that's what's wrong with him.

42:09

That's so good.

42:11

Unfortunately, I'm the coolest of the three brothers.

42:14

So if you ever meet those two guys in public, we all kind of look like, just know that if you may, the older one, he's grumpy all the time.

42:22

He is pretty much grumpy all the time.

42:25

Excuse me. The younger one doesn't have any fucking clue what's going on in the world.

42:29

He's more clueless than Rob about everything.

42:30

He knows how to build rocket ships and stuff, but he has no fucking grip on reality.

42:36

It's great. I love it. It's pretty sweet.

42:38

I enjoy it. I said, Hey, you watched the reds game and he'd be like, Hey you watch, I watched the football game on.

42:44

Well, watch it where I said the fucking TV.

42:46

What's a fucking TV.

42:48

Jesus, man.

42:50

I want to work on my rocket ship and build a rocket ship.

42:54

Right? Have fun buddy Sealy or man, you know my dog shotgun blast the poop across my hallway earlier this week.

43:00

I don't care, man. What's poop.

43:01

Why do you have a dog while you have a dog?

43:05

The dog for 13 years? Like when did you get a dog?

43:08

Who

43:08

are

43:11

you? Hi brothers.

43:13

Why are we at the same Wiener?

43:16

Hey guys, I know it's getting close to the holidays and that can really slow down.

43:19

Some view makes you feel like you don't necessarily have someone to talk to and maybe you have something that's interfering with your happiness.

43:26

Well, our friend's a better helper here to help you today.

43:29

No matter what you are struggling with, whether it's anxiety, relationship, sleeping, trauma, self-esteem grief, anger, stress, depression, our friends at better help.

43:38

H E L P can help you today.

43:40

You're gonna start communicating with a counselor in under 24 hours and it's not.

43:44

Self-help it's professional counseling.

43:45

You can send a message to your counselor anytime.

43:47

And you're always going to get a timely and thoughtful response.

43:50

And one of the best parts it's completely affordable guys.

43:53

And actually right now, so many people have been using better help.

43:55

They are recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states.

43:58

I want you to start living a happier life today.

44:00

And as a listener of the Broho HIO podcast, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting better help.com/

44:06

Again, guys, that's better help.

44:09

H E L p.com/ join over 1 million people taking charge of their mental health.

44:14

Again, that's better help. H E L p.com/bro Ohio fresh

44:19

from San Diego. California comes the only sunglasses brand I'm ever going to wear.

44:23

Again, I'm talking about blenders eyewear and you're going to be just as hooked when you see how awesome these shades are.

44:29

I got on the pick, my sunglasses on their website, infinite choices, every style, every color, every shade, every sunglass you could ever want the entire world as there.

44:39

And they all have affordable prices that you're not going to beat.

44:42

Chase Fisher started blenders by selling his beachy shades out of a backpack.

44:45

While doubling as a surf instructor on the Pacific beach, his goal was to create an adventurous, mid priced eyewear option with the same cool factors.

44:52

Other leading styles, unlike expensive, big brand shave that you've probably lost or smashed in the past.

44:57

Blenders are actually affordable.

44:59

So you're not going to cry as much when the inevitable happens.

45:01

Blenders team of in-house designers are constantly coming up with new styles from orange polarized wrap arounds, a shell frames with purple lenses of the classic gold arms on black lenses to save big and score 15% off your blenders purchase.

45:15

Visit blenders eyewear.com and enter the promo code bro.

45:18

HIO, VIP that's blenders eyewear.com.

45:20

Use the promo code bro, Haya VIP for 15% off blenders rocked with pride worldwide.

45:29

It's finally that time of the year that the air is rich with a smell of delicious holiday dinners.

45:32

So this holiday season bring home the authentic taste of gourmet Mexican cuisine, Texas lone star tamales has their own tamale recipe, which combines the perfect balance of Masa, which is finely shredded meats, peppers and spices, hand rolled and natural corn husks.

45:49

The natural flavors will have you wanting these tamales, every holiday and Texas lone star tamale.

45:54

He knows that the holidays are a busy time and you'll be flying around trying to get everything ready for your family and friends.

46:00

But thankfully you can have that stress erased with Texas lone star tamales, the Texas lone star tamale family will help take care of the food.

46:09

Take it from me. They sent us some tamales and the other night we didn't know what to do for dinner.

46:13

Took a packet of these chicken tamales, threw them in some hot water.

46:17

They came out, we put some sour cream, cheese and lettuce on there.

46:20

These things I've never even had tamales before.

46:23

I don't think they are incredible.

46:25

They blew my socks off so easy.

46:27

They taste fresh just like they were made that day.

46:29

Absolutely delicious tamales.

46:31

I cannot recommend the Texas Lonestar tamale company enough.

46:35

So get your fast delivery, Texas lone start tamales.

46:39

They also want you to spend most of your time with your family.

46:42

So their tamales fall a simple two-step process and they're ready to go almost immediately as a holiday gift from their family.

46:49

Two years use a coupon code, Breaux, Ohio at checkout to receive a free dozen, the free guys, a free dozen gourmet tamales with your next order.

47:01

Make your experience authentic shop.

47:04

Now at Texas lone starts Molly's dot com.

47:07

Use the promo code Brio for 12 free of these delicious tomorrow.

47:14

Oh man. Let's see here. This one's called abduction.

47:16

What's

47:16

BI

47:20

Be. I used to work. Yeah. Yeah, sure. So, so BI

47:22

used to work.

47:23

I used to waitress in a seedy bar.

47:27

I I actually, but I like, I

47:29

like BI internet lingo that I don't know of.

47:34

See after closing the waitstaff would meet at a 24 hour restaurant slash motel for breakfast as I'm waiting for everyone else to arrive.

47:43

I noticed a creepy man drinking a milkshake at the calendar.

47:46

I don't want to be that guy.

47:47

That's me.

47:49

Yeah. I mean it just creepily drinking a milkshake.

47:52

I thought it was weird because it was in the middle of the Canadian winter.

47:56

Around this time, there was a lot of talk of working girls going missing.

48:00

Oh, I waitress at a gentleman's club and it was maybe two minutes know, two minute walking walk away from the restaurant motel.

48:07

So it was less than desirable neighborhood to say the least because of the transient nature of that line of work, the missing girls were mostly just rumors as it was a tourist town, stuff like that.

48:18

Never made the papers.

48:19

Anyways, I'm sitting at the restaurant and getting major creepy vibes from this dude.

48:25

People arrive. We start, we start chatting about our night.

48:30

He's still sitting there, but I'm ignoring it and kind of forgetting about the weird feelings after I finished the, my meal.

48:38

I go out for a smoke alone, bad idea.

48:40

This was around the time that my province started tightening up smoking bylaws.

48:45

So you're no longer allowed to smoke on patios with awnings.

48:48

This meant I was at the end of the patio, adjacent to the dark and almost creepy.

48:52

I'm sorry. Almost empty parking lot.

48:54

Right by where I was smoking.

48:56

There was a car with American plates, not unusual in and of itself, but as I'm looking at this SUV, creepy milkshake, man comes out of the restaurant.

49:05

I quickly put two and two together that this is his car.

49:09

He starts talking to me saying really weird stuff.

49:12

Needless to say, he got my attention very quickly.

49:15

I figured since you are giving me the cold shoulder, I'd come out in the cold.

49:20

Just

49:20

really

49:20

weird

49:25

stuff. As he's talking to me, he's making unwavering eye contact.

49:28

His head is hung slightly low and he's just glancing at me from under his eyebrows.

49:33

If that makes sense. Yeah, it makes perfectly fucking good sense.

49:35

It seemed very predatory.

49:37

And my alarm bells were ringing as he's talking.

49:40

He's slowly walking towards me and his hands in his, with his hands in his pockets.

49:43

He never broke eye contact.

49:45

I've heard people talk about predatory stares, the face of evil.

49:49

If I had any doubt about his intentions, his eyes told me everything that I needed to know.

49:54

They were pure black and filled with hate.

49:57

It's the only way I can describe it.

50:00

He continues advancing towards me.

50:02

I'm stuck between this man and the trunk of his SUV.

50:04

He's less than a foot away from me.

50:07

And my back is literally against the wall.

50:09

It began apparent.

50:10

It became apparent that he was going to take me.

50:13

His hands were still in his pocket.

50:14

I don't know if he had a knife, a stun gun or what, but I knew I did not want to find out what he had in his pockets.

50:20

It was a Dick.

50:21

I got it.

50:23

It became very clear to me.

50:25

I would have to fight him off.

50:27

As I'm preparing to knee him in his balls, he's barely an arm's length away.

50:30

And now I could hear his footsteps.

50:32

See the motel is above.

50:34

This was a restaurant with concrete steps leading down the patio in the entrance.

50:38

The second he heard someone coming, he ripped his hands out of his pockets and took a giant step away from me.

50:44

I flicked my cigarette and ran inside hurriedly to tell the dining room, bouncer the TLDR version of what happened.

50:50

It took me maybe 30 seconds max.

50:53

They ran outside and he was long gone.

50:55

If I ever had doubt of his intentions, his reaction to someone coming negated any, and all doubt, you cannot convince me that I wouldn't have been raped or murdered.

51:03

I felt it in my bones, the LDR almost got abducted when I was 19.

51:08

One of the scariest things I think about how man is someone abducting, someone I love.

51:14

And it's an awful Thought. Do this people, those people are out there.

51:18

It's I don't want to be a person that does that.

51:22

I know I don't want, I do not want to abduct people.

51:25

Yeah. If someone abducted someone from my family.

51:27

I would double back and I would abducted them and I would fuck the shit out of them.

51:33

That's the first thing, I don't know if I'm Yeah.

51:37

This past, like this past week we had an Amber alert, had all of our phones and like, every time I get that, I'm like, fuck me.

51:45

I, I can't, I can't imagine that feeling.

51:48

Yeah. Normally it's someone close to the child usually is isn't necessarily in the worst of hands, which I guess makes it a little easier to swallow, but nonetheless, a missing kid.

51:57

Oh my, when I was five years old, my parents lost me on the boardwalk in ocean city, Maryland.

52:05

And it was my stupid fucking fault.

52:08

I let go of the late.

52:10

We went with my mom and dad's best friends.

52:12

I let go of my mom's best friend's hand.

52:14

And then kind of just wandered off.

52:16

But I was missing for probably four or five minutes.

52:18

I walked up to a cop and I said, I lost my parents.

52:23

This dude went into fucking fucked mode.

52:26

And then I saw my dad's sprint and all the guy does not run.

52:29

I

52:29

said,

52:29

damn,

52:29

that's

52:29

my

52:33

dad. And he was Yelling at my dad and my dad come running over.

52:40

He scooped me up and I said, I thought I lost you.

52:44

Beat the fuck out of you.

52:45

My dad was like, dude, and my dad stern, just a good dude.

52:50

Never like not one of those daily.

52:53

Come give me a hug and a kiss, buddy. Never anything like that.

52:55

I don't think I've ever kissed my dad.

52:57

I'm going to change that.

52:59

Please give him one round.

53:01

But he said, oh, I was just playing hide and seek with you buddy.

53:04

He gave me a kiss on the head and God, I could see the fucking tears in his eyes, man.

53:10

He didn't cry either, but that was scary situation.

53:13

And like later on that same trip, my little brother was drowning in a pole and I said, this motherfucker's gone.

53:20

I'm looking at him, he's drowning. And he's just down there and I'm too fucking fat to, I can't get down there to get his ass.

53:26

So I said, I'm like saying goodbye.

53:30

Cause he's gone. You know, he's not going to stand over my you fucking pokers bitch.

53:41

I'm the baby now pussy.

53:42

I'm playing mother fucker yelling at us.

53:46

And then my brother, my older brother and I told her he's 10 years older than me knocks me out of the way, dive down there like Pamela Anderson and Baywatch, get these ass comes all the way up to the service with him.

53:58

You know the edge of those hotel pools. There's like a, a little bit of a lip concrete lip.

54:02

He comes up with such veal, zest speed.

54:07

He hits my brother's fucking head on that shit and drops his ass all the way to the bottom again.

54:13

And it was like, oh man, oh man, that's a rap.

54:19

He's like, oh man, if he does come out, he's going to be a fucking Waterhead.

54:25

He's like the process of drowning.

54:27

And then he gets a fucking concussion falls back in fucking turtle.

54:32

Ed he's a hit his head and dropped his ass.

54:35

Don't water heads. He went back down and got him and brought him up and he was, he was alive.

54:42

I said in fucking melon head, I'm not getting those power Rangers son of a bitch.

54:47

Oh man. But when he brought him up like a torpedo coming up by the water, his head dropped him.

54:53

I said, oh, he's gone.

54:54

Motherfucker's

54:58

gone. Oh dude, I would've been so bummed.

55:01

If I was standing there with my water wings on.

55:04

And I'm thinking, even if I want to rescue him, I just picture you with like a fucking ice cream ice cream truck, like Popsicle in your hand.

55:12

I think I was dripping all over your face and tender.

55:16

And you're like, man, this sucks.

55:17

Fall in. Try to get his ball or whatever I say, you're the bitch ass.

55:24

A little bit worse. The water wings, like my fat ass you learned today, man, motherfucker, couldn't swim.

55:30

And try to tell you when we got there, he said, he said I could swim.

55:34

I said, not fucking, you cannot swim.

55:36

And then shit fight my mom and dad tooth and nail by these goddamn water wings.

55:40

I kept mine on. I knew my limitations.

55:43

Robert. It's so funny that if I got in the deep end, my ass was not coming back up.

55:47

He fought them tooth and nail for these water wings.

55:49

He went down and when he went down, he didn't come back up.

55:52

He was almost lost his life.

55:54

He left in the accident. They could have, they could have erased him.

55:57

He was a accidental child.

55:59

Would have been, he seen out there losses.

56:01

No, I mean, that was a weird trip though.

56:04

They lost Maya. I think they lost me on purpose.

56:07

Maybe. I think I remember my mom pushed him in the water though.

56:10

She would never say she just walked by and he gave him like a little push and just kept walking.

56:17

And then the sad part was my mom was the one that seen him go in.

56:20

She can't swim. Where the shit, oh man, she had, she had a brother.

56:25

She has a brother that's still alive.

56:27

He had, he had a twin brother that drown, oh shit, a river.

56:31

When my mom was in her twenties or something like that.

56:34

Damn. And so my mom was terrified of water cause yeah, to her brother, she definitely did not go in after my brother.

56:44

She was going to let him drift off to heaven.

56:47

My older brother saved the day.

56:50

Good for him. Good thing. He was there. Yeah, but we had to have his cat put down a little while after that.

56:54

Damn, there's a long story in my life.

56:57

I should just write a fucking book for every good thing that happens to bad things was a good cat.

57:02

Rascal's good cat now.

57:03

So where are we at man?

57:05

Ah, fuck.

57:08

It's

57:08

made

57:08

of

57:08

fun

57:12

story. Really sad.

57:12

Cat was like 22 or something.

57:15

New fucking cat had maxed out the credit card.

57:19

It was, I guess, I guess it was done. It was a good life.

57:21

He got his head fucked up there towards me.

57:24

He was walking in circles all the time. He saved my brother's life.

57:26

Therefore he put his cat down long story.

57:29

I was once driving in the country and it was pouring rain in the dead of the night.

57:34

My

57:34

mom

57:34

and

57:34

dad

57:34

are

57:34

going

57:34

to

57:34

listen

57:34

to

57:40

this. They're going to call me. And they're going to say enough is enough.

57:43

Quit

57:43

telling

57:43

everybody

57:43

about

57:43

our

57:43

life

57:43

so

57:43

hard

57:43

that

57:43

I

57:43

was

57:43

driving

57:43

very

57:50

slowly. Couldn't see any of the signs.

57:52

This was before GPS.

57:53

I mean, I'd never been in the rain, this heavy.

57:55

I had to pull over to the side of the road to try and see the sign, to see if I was going in the right direction.

58:00

I hate driving in the round so bad.

58:02

I got stigmatism. So just looks like a someone fucking shit, a Ferris wheel out of my face.

58:06

I can't see anything. Especially when it's like really bad.

58:09

Like your windshield wipers can't even keep up.

58:10

Oh, Ooh. I didn't get out due to the rain.

58:13

So it was creating my neck for, to try and make out where I was.

58:17

Wasn't suddenly the passenger tore open and a man got inside the car, sat down and looked at me.

58:22

Here is South Africa.

58:24

I'm sorry. Here in South Africa, there's a fair amount of violent crime and hijackings science things really started panicking and yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs, flailing my arms to try and do something.

58:35

Anything to stop this guy from attacking me.

58:38

He started screaming as well.

58:40

Terror jumped out of the car.

58:42

I quickly weaned over and closed the passenger door and sped off down the road.

58:48

I was breathing so heavily at this point and trying my best to calm down nearly in tears.

58:53

I kept replaying it in my head the whole time.

58:56

And suddenly remember that the man smiled at me.

59:00

It suddenly dawned me that it was probably a hitchhiker that I hadn't seen.

59:04

Who thought that I was pulling over to give him a lift only to be greeted by screaming and drying to try and get him out of the vehicle.

59:11

It was probably a scariest encounter with a stranger as well.

59:15

I mean, that's pretty weird.

59:17

That's crazy.

59:18

And I remember this whenever growing up, we used to, this is back in, you know, back in the day, when you could leave your front door unlocked, that's changed.

59:29

You can't leave your front door and locked. Well, no, not anymore.

59:31

I remember one Sunday morning, we're all sleeping in.

59:36

My little brother comes into my room.

59:38

He says, cause see, my little brother was, he always uses like asleep on the couch and he say, Hey, there's a guy on the couch.

59:46

And we always had people coming and going.

59:48

We had cousins, my brother had friends and shit and I just, we had a cousin that stayed with us a lot.

59:54

God rest his soul.

59:55

But he had, he would always have friends stay with him.

59:59

And I said, it's probably one of Boomi's friends.

1:00:00

And he said, I said, well go wake up dad.

1:00:04

So he went and woke up. My dad, my dad, I watched my dad peek around the corner at this dude.

1:00:10

And he went back to my mom.

1:00:12

He said, that's not anybody. I know this is a, some dude sleeping on our couch.

1:00:17

Oh man. And my mom said, what are you going to do?

1:00:19

My dad put on his fucking cowboy six shooter that holster with a fucking belt on with a sit, like a revolver.

1:00:26

And he say close the door.

1:00:28

So we closed the door enough to still see what was going on.

1:00:30

He walked up fucking mafia style, Sean Wayne, his ass slapped him on the face with the gun and said, wake up.

1:00:41

And the guy woke up.

1:00:43

My dad's got the gun pointed at his face.

1:00:45

And he says, am I at such and such address?

1:00:49

And my dad said, no, motherfucker.

1:00:51

You're a 5, 5, 5 main.

1:00:53

He said our address. We say you're a 5, 5, 5, 5 main street.

1:00:56

Get the fuck outta here.

1:00:57

And this dude like stood up, put his hands up and walked out the door.

1:01:02

Never to be seen again. He went to the wrong fuck.

1:01:04

Had no idea where he's at. He went to the wrong house.

1:01:08

Yeah. I just, I reading this story made me think of the video.

1:01:11

I just saw it essential.

1:01:13

Is it? Can we watch it on here? Yeah, we should be able To.

1:01:14

Yeah, it was in, let me see.

1:01:17

Where was that at? I just saw where it was at, but I have no idea where We're

1:01:20

going to ask for help from a bunch of guys driving a car, claiming that she was drunk.

1:01:23

Hold on a second.

1:01:26

That's an, it's an indie I believe. Cause I think someone said it's a new Dell high.

1:01:29

Okay. See if we can play it on a, I

1:01:32

don't know how to get it from my phone to the fucking time. Okay.

1:01:34

That'd be hard.

1:01:36

Yeah. Let me see here. I could email it to you.

1:01:38

You could do that. Let's do that.

1:01:40

This next one.

1:01:41

We'll call it.

1:01:43

It's a story by kitty on the titty.

1:01:46

Even

1:01:46

a

1:01:46

person

1:01:46

on

1:01:49

Reddit. I was once driving in the country.

1:01:51

Well, are you read this one?

1:01:53

So we're not going to read this one again.

1:01:55

I just sent you the video, so, okay. Is it which email did you send it to?

1:02:00

The only one I have here g-mail Okay,

1:02:03

please. God, don't say it.

1:02:04

Excuse

1:02:07

me. People like to mess with me.

1:02:08

There it is.

1:02:10

Let's see it.

1:02:14

This was some wild shit.

1:02:14

There's

1:02:14

a

1:02:14

girl

1:02:14

on

1:02:14

the

1:02:14

side,

1:02:14

the

1:02:14

road

1:02:21

Flagging down. This driver, Not

1:02:26

Robert,

1:02:34

Are you aware? This is not an English.

1:02:35

You just got to watch it.

1:02:38

So pretty much what she's saying is she's saying that she was dropped off there and she needs help.

1:02:41

But really this, this whole video is just a setup for them to Rob these people.

1:02:46

So she's got people waiting.

1:02:48

Okay. So she's in on it. Okay.

1:02:51

Yeah. You can give it a little fast forward if you want.

1:02:54

So you can See, she keeps looking around Oh, here they come.

1:03:12

Look. All those fuckers.

1:03:26

Yeah. He's got a fucking bat in his hand. I think one of the dudes has a machete or something dude, out of fucking rail.

1:03:32

Those people over out of turned all of them into hood ornaments.

1:03:35

No doubt. Yeah. Yeah.

1:03:37

Yeah. That's terrifying. That's like eight times.

1:03:39

There's just always thinking about shit like that, man.

1:03:42

There's this road around here called Jacoby road in Springfield.

1:03:44

One of my best friends growing up, his brother used to say that they would go there and I had other people say, talk about the same story.

1:03:51

That every time they would go there, these fucking dudes and like sheets, like bed sheets, like ghosts coming and blood would come running out, running out of the fucking corn.

1:04:01

Nah, man, you start beating the shit out of your car, rocking your car, try and get you out of it and stuff.

1:04:05

But they're always like come out covered. They go up there and slaughter pigs and fucking cows and shit.

1:04:09

And they wear these white suits and they be covered in blood.

1:04:12

And you roll up in this road and these Mongoloid to come running out of the tree line, just start beating the shit out of your car.

1:04:18

They come run on a corn on the tree line, ball bats, fucking hammers, hatchets.

1:04:23

I

1:04:23

wouldn't

1:04:23

go

1:04:26

there. Why would you go there? And even just that's the thing.

1:04:28

Oh yeah. I heard this place is haunted.

1:04:30

You know, of course I like to go to haunted places.

1:04:34

But then if they say there's a place where dudes run in the woods with hatchets and shit covered in blood, all right guys have fun.

1:04:42

There's nothing I need to get.

1:04:43

That's what people ask me to do dumb shit all the time.

1:04:46

But can you do a back flip off the fucking handrail and you used to, I will try it.

1:04:51

I'll say God dammit. But now I say, I will look someone dead in the face.

1:04:55

I say I got nothing to fucking prove to you.

1:04:58

You're not my mom. You're not my wife.

1:05:00

You're not my dad. I have nothing to prove to you.

1:05:03

I'm not doing a backflip off that hand railing.

1:05:05

Although I could probably do it if I want to do, I'm not doing it so pretty agile.

1:05:11

I can get around.

1:05:14

Let's see here.

1:05:15

Where's the kitty titty thing.

1:05:22

Kitty titty.

1:05:25

Okay. This one's a, this all you.

1:05:29

Oh yeah. Went to a yard sale with my aunt when I was like five, my little boy, about the same age as me approaches me and tells me to come inside and meet his dad.

1:05:37

God, I wander off with him without my aunt noticing.

1:05:41

And he brings me into the house where the yard sale is taking place.

1:05:44

We go down to the basement and there is his naked dad lying on the couch.

1:05:48

Excitedly greeting me as if he'd been awaiting my company or something.

1:05:53

I actually don't remember much after that.

1:05:55

I just got out of there as fast as possible.

1:05:57

And it's been a strange memory of mine ever since Ali.

1:06:03

I did shit like that all the time. When I was a kid, man, I was always fucking stuff.

1:06:06

I love doing stuff like that. Oh man.

1:06:08

I saw some naked dude like that.

1:06:10

I've been so excited because you know, I was gay, but just cause it'd be cool to see something like that.

1:06:16

Back in the day when I was probably 16, 17, I still lived at home.

1:06:20

That's

1:06:20

the

1:06:20

age

1:06:23

Of consent bro? I don't know.

1:06:25

I was always fine. So my, my, my little brother gets my then girlfriend now wife.

1:06:33

And he's like, Hey, come here. I got something to show you.

1:06:35

I heard the story.

1:06:37

Yeah. And she's like, okay, what?

1:06:39

And my brother's just, he's always been a fucking shithead.

1:06:41

So yeah. So he takes her upstairs and he's like, look, look, look.

1:06:46

And she looks into the bedroom where my parents will.

1:06:49

I don't even know if she knew that was her room. And there was my dad laying there, butt ass, naked, his ass, just facing the door.

1:06:54

And

1:06:54

as

1:06:54

he

1:06:54

points

1:06:54

and

1:06:54

my

1:06:54

wife's

1:06:54

looking,

1:06:54

he's

1:06:54

just

1:06:54

fucking

1:06:54

sitting

1:06:54

in

1:06:54

the

1:06:54

background,

1:06:54

dying,

1:07:01

laughing. My brother, is he just sitting back there? Like he just knows when she's going to see Daddy's

1:07:07

ass.

1:07:09

He's Such a shithead. Oh man, that's a good One.

1:07:11

I don't think he ever knew that having, Oh

1:07:15

God, I love it.

1:07:17

I was probably 16 sitting at home, alone on the computer.

1:07:21

When I looked up and saw a man on my back patio, looking at the windows and heading towards the door.

1:07:26

I have no idea what came over my stupid teen girl mind, but I opened the door and firmly told him to leave.

1:07:33

She had some balls, legal, motherfucking balls, Iron

1:07:38

balls. It Felt like the voice that came out of me was not mine.

1:07:41

It was a guttural and deep and grounded, which was the opposite of how I felt.

1:07:45

He looked at me and didn't move.

1:07:47

He wasn't shocked. It was sort of like he was trying to challenge me or scare me by holding his ground.

1:07:53

I said, Lee, one more time with the same voice.

1:07:57

And he backed up. He said, I was just looking for paint.

1:08:00

And I responded. I'm about to start looking for my dad's gun.

1:08:04

Damn good girl. My Divorce

1:08:06

dad did not live with us nor was there a gun in the house, laugh out loud.

1:08:09

I slammed the door, locked it and went to call 9 1 1.

1:08:13

They found the guy into another house down the street.

1:08:16

Oh man, God, I got to go pick him out of a lineup and everything.

1:08:20

Still one of my scariest moments and possibly one of the creepiest moments in my life, shit, her house is about to get broken into.

1:08:27

And luckily she found him and that was, this is the one that reminded me of that.

1:08:30

The guy in, in our house.

1:08:33

But there was, this is another funny story I keep on breaking off in these fucking stories.

1:08:38

I've never told before these were all good.

1:08:40

All good shit. Yeah. This is one time I was hanging out with RP.

1:08:43

One of my, one of her best friends in high school.

1:08:44

And every time I hung out with RP, I was either trying to fucking finger somebody or I was drinking alcohol and I never really did a lot of bad stuff.

1:08:53

But every time I was with that motherfucker, I was doing bad shit.

1:08:55

You had to keep up. And to this day, every time I'm with him, I get in trouble, man.

1:09:00

It's not stuff that's going to cause a divorce or anything, but it's like, oh babe, I'll be gone for a couple hours.

1:09:06

I'm gone for fucking 12 hours. Shit like that.

1:09:09

Yeah. But one night we were, we snuck out.

1:09:12

We had a bottle of hot damn, which is cinnamon schnapps.

1:09:15

Ooh burn man.

1:09:18

Yeah. We snuck out, drank it in the woods, but it's stuff they had before fireball.

1:09:22

Yeah. We, we drank it.

1:09:25

Got drunk. Came back into the house probably an hour or so.

1:09:29

We were coming back in the house.

1:09:30

His dad was waiting for us and his dad popped up.

1:09:35

He's like, what are you motherfuckers doing?

1:09:37

And I said, you hear a noise outside.

1:09:41

We're going to see what it was. He said, what?

1:09:43

I said, there was a guy in the yard coming up towards the house.

1:09:47

We chased him back towards the tree.

1:09:48

Cause there their backyard butted up to some woods.

1:09:51

Yeah. I said, there's a guy coming in the yard and we scared him away though.

1:09:54

And then Tony looked at, Matt said, is that true?

1:09:58

And Matt said, yeah.

1:10:01

Yeah. And that's not what was true at all.

1:10:04

Right. And he said, where did he go?

1:10:07

I said, he went over top of the woodpile. There was a woodpile taller than the shed out bags, about eight feet tall.

1:10:11

And it butted up against the fence.

1:10:13

He said, he went over the woodpile and he said, all right, I'm calling the cops.

1:10:18

I went, fuck.

1:10:19

Oops,

1:10:19

fuck

1:10:22

man. But I wasn't backing down. At that point, there was nobody in the backyard.

1:10:25

He called the cops and the cops came in the car, the deputy sheriffs.

1:10:33

And he said, what'd he look like I said, he was big.

1:10:36

He said, how, how tall was?

1:10:38

He said he was taller than that woodpile.

1:10:40

He said, I would pause about eight feet tall.

1:10:43

I said, well, there you go.

1:10:44

He

1:10:44

said,

1:10:44

so

1:10:44

you're

1:10:44

trying

1:10:44

to

1:10:44

tell

1:10:44

me,

1:10:44

there's

1:10:44

a

1:10:44

guy

1:10:44

in

1:10:44

the

1:10:48

backyard. He thought, whoa, what color was he gonna say?

1:10:52

Oh, he was dark. What color was the skin?

1:10:53

I don't know. You look more like a shadow.

1:10:55

He was dark.

1:10:56

They were ready to go away.

1:10:58

He said, how did he get away? I said, he went over the fence.

1:11:00

He said, he jumped the fence. I said, no, he's fucking huge.

1:11:03

You stepped over the fence so that they call back dispatch.

1:11:10

We got why a whole passable hold me backer a tree liar back here.

1:11:14

Or the cops Cub. There is the fucking Dayton police.

1:11:17

The Sheriff's all these people are. They're really roll up.

1:11:20

They're looking for this fucking dispatch.

1:11:31

He's about eight feet tall. He's dark.

1:11:32

He

1:11:32

thought,

1:11:32

can

1:11:32

you

1:11:32

write

1:11:32

that

1:11:32

a

1:11:39

witness? I said, fuck. Yeah, I can't.

1:11:40

He was bigger than the scene.

1:11:42

Bet your ass. I can figure the Shed.

1:11:44

Do you want in cursive or print?

1:11:46

Why you smelled drunk? We had some cinnamon, jolly ranchers, Syrian Fireballs.

1:11:52

We weren't going to fuck each other. The woods.

1:11:53

You guys messed it up dude.

1:11:56

And he said, what are you guys doing? I said, there's a guy breaking in.

1:11:58

There's a guy coming. He's just, he's bigger than the fucking he's bigger than the shed out back, man.

1:12:03

He's huge. Got it. Got him outta here.

1:12:05

I'm calling the cops man.

1:12:07

I said, Matt, we're fucked. Did you say it's all right, man.

1:12:10

We'll ride this out Right

1:12:14

or die right there. Yeah man. That's that's some good times.

1:12:16

I'm going to tell that story.

1:12:18

If somebody's funeral, I don't know whose, but it's funny.

1:12:20

Now I'm going to get arrested.

1:12:22

Statue of limitations have expired Guys.

1:12:25

It falsifying.

1:12:28

How tall was he? Bigger than that wood pile.

1:12:30

So he's eight feet tall. There you go. Eight feet tall, big fucker, man.

1:12:34

He's dark. He ran out of here. He jumped over The

1:12:36

really tall woodpile instead of just stepping over the fence, stepped Over

1:12:39

the privacy fence events. Okay.

1:12:40

He stepped over it. He didn't jump.

1:12:42

He Andre. The giant of that shit just stepped over it.

1:12:45

Oh shit. That's good.

1:12:46

Oh man.

1:12:49

Okay. I feel so bad for that.

1:12:51

And that's such a waste of police resources.

1:12:53

People overdosed on heroin while they're responding to that.

1:12:57

Yeah, that's good. That's okay.

1:12:58

This one's a year. Is it me?

1:13:00

Okay. When I was about 18, I got a telephone call from a strange man.

1:13:04

The phone in my room ring for you, kids reading.

1:13:08

Now telephones used to actually be attached to walls.

1:13:11

You didn't carry them around with you.

1:13:13

I was one of those privileged few kids, my age, who not only had hidden own, had their own hidden phone, but also one number, oh, there had their own number and listed in the phone book and everything.

1:13:24

I went in and answered it and he asked is this Courtney Ballard?

1:13:28

And I acknowledged that it was then he told me his name in a tone that implied.

1:13:34

He expected me to know who he was.

1:13:36

And I was clueless.

1:13:37

He asked me again, if I was me and I had no choice.

1:13:41

But again to say yes, in fact that was me.

1:13:44

He then said, I'm calling to make sure you're okay.

1:13:47

You looked pretty shook up yesterday.

1:13:50

At this point, I had to tell him I had no idea what he was talking about.

1:13:54

I had been fine the day before he pressed on yesterday.

1:13:58

When you wrecked your car, I

1:14:01

think I would fucking remember that, Sir.

1:14:03

I, I think you have the wrong number.

1:14:05

This is Courtney Ballard, right?

1:14:07

Yes, sir. My name is Courtney Ballard and you live in the name of my tiny town that I lived in.

1:14:13

Yes, sir. That's me, but I didn't wreck any car yesterday over the course of a very confusing and uncontrollable.

1:14:19

15 minutes uncomfortable.

1:14:22

Sorry. Ooh, sorry.

1:14:24

Big words. He proceeded to tell me about our meeting.

1:14:28

The day before I had come around the corner in front of his house, too fast, lost control and hit a large Oak tree in his front yard.

1:14:35

I had been shaken up, but the car was drivable and I refuse all offers of help.

1:14:40

He managed to get me to reveal my name before I left.

1:14:44

And I told him that I was on my way to that small town, but nothing else.

1:14:48

Wow, weird.

1:14:51

Yeah. He described me my size, my shape, my hair length and color.

1:14:55

He described my car, not the make and model, but the size shape color.

1:14:59

At first, I thought it was a put on that a friend was pranking me, but the conversation progressed.

1:15:04

The man's concern was convincing.

1:15:06

He had been so worried about me that he'd looked me up and called me to make sure that I was okay by the end of the conversation, I managed to convince him that I was okay and I really didn't know anything about it.

1:15:17

He had given me his name address over the course of the call and he'd invited me to stop.

1:15:21

By some time when I hung up the phone, I was actually curious.

1:15:25

I went outside and looked at my car, no damage, just trying to make sure you didn't fucking crash the car, no damage.

1:15:32

Everything was just as I remembered it.

1:15:34

I shook my head and walked back inside a few days later I was driving home and this phone call was echoing around in the back of my mind.

1:15:41

I remember the man's name and what part of town he lived in.

1:15:44

It wasn't that far off my route home.

1:15:46

So I looked him up in the phone book. God is addressed and headed that way.

1:15:50

As I came around a sweeping bend in the road, I saw a house like the one that he had described in the front yard was a large Oak tree.

1:15:58

And there were marks in the grass where a car had recently left the road, leading straight for the tree and on the tree paint that perfectly matched to my car.

1:16:07

I was so shaken that I almost ran off the road and into the tree.

1:16:13

Do this fucking crazy man. Damn It.

1:16:16

Lots of it was like a cliffhanger too. I want to know what the fuck happens after that.

1:16:18

I don't know, man.

1:16:20

That's

1:16:20

a,

1:16:20

yeah,

1:16:20

that's

1:16:24

weird. Really weird.

1:16:27

Sorry. I got a piece of candy in my mouth. Oh man. It's cool. I'm just thinking about that.

1:16:30

Like person the same name, same description And

1:16:36

the time. Yeah man space, time continuum.

1:16:39

There was a wormhole.

1:16:40

Something came through.

1:16:41

I'm not saying, dude, oh God, I got to fucking talk about this for a second.

1:16:48

Go for it, man. I was so spaced out the other night and I was so deep in my thoughts, just really trying to work out some stuff mentally.

1:16:55

I wasn't distressed. I was just thinking about how small we are.

1:17:00

I'd looked at a meme that showed the size of earth compared to some other stuff.

1:17:06

Literally

1:17:06

earth

1:17:06

gets

1:17:06

to

1:17:06

the

1:17:06

point

1:17:06

when

1:17:06

you

1:17:06

compare

1:17:06

it

1:17:06

next

1:17:06

to

1:17:06

other

1:17:06

stuff

1:17:06

that

1:17:06

it

1:17:14

gets. So the earth gets so small on the screen that it's a Nannu of an app.

1:17:20

It's you can see any perceivable.

1:17:21

Is that compared to some of these other planets and stuff?

1:17:27

I'm sorry, my throat's all messed up.

1:17:28

I apologize.

1:17:29

But

1:17:29

then

1:17:29

it

1:17:29

starts

1:17:29

to

1:17:29

talk

1:17:29

about

1:17:29

how

1:17:29

many

1:17:29

other

1:17:29

galaxies

1:17:29

there

1:17:29

are

1:17:29

out

1:17:29

there,

1:17:29

aside

1:17:29

from

1:17:29

our

1:17:29

galaxy

1:17:29

and

1:17:29

how

1:17:29

small

1:17:29

our

1:17:29

galaxy

1:17:29

is

1:17:29

compared

1:17:29

to

1:17:29

some

1:17:29

of

1:17:29

these

1:17:29

other

1:17:29

galaxies

1:17:29

and

1:17:29

how,

1:17:29

and

1:17:29

I

1:17:29

started

1:17:29

to

1:17:29

look

1:17:29

up,

1:17:29

I

1:17:29

had

1:17:29

the

1:17:29

question

1:17:29

in

1:17:29

my

1:17:29

head

1:17:29

where

1:17:29

to

1:17:29

space

1:17:29

and

1:17:29

it

1:17:29

doesn't

1:17:29

it

1:17:29

doesn't

1:17:29

and

1:17:29

Robert,

1:17:29

yeah,

1:17:29

it's

1:17:52

Ever-growing It fucking goes on forever.

1:17:55

It keeps going and it keeps going Infinite

1:17:56

darkness and it gets Bigger

1:17:58

by the Second bigger. And it gets so in a gift to the point where we don't know where the fuck is going, what is going on out there?

1:18:06

It never ends.

1:18:09

We can only see so far. That means If you fall, you start falling.

1:18:12

You never stop.

1:18:14

You're like falling in a hole and you say, God damn, I can't wait to get the bottom.

1:18:18

And I fucking die from them.

1:18:20

It never ends.

1:18:21

So what, what is out there?

1:18:25

What else is out there?

1:18:27

This is the crazy part for me.

1:18:28

We got to run into something or someone sooner or later where they gotta be honest with us.

1:18:33

Sure. It's I mean, that stuff like that's really scary.

1:18:36

If you think about it.

1:18:39

I was so uncomfortable. I was, I had tears in my eyes for one, I was uncomfortable just thinking it goes on forever.

1:18:47

There's no way that in terms of the shit and pole, we could be at the very bottom in terms of intelligence stairs.

1:18:56

There's so many other realms and galaxies and it's just never ending.

1:19:04

But it's scary to think about what the fuck is out there.

1:19:07

What these big bugs want to come fuck us upper.

1:19:10

And what's equally is what it is equally as scary as that there's this video that I always watch, anytime that it comes across, like my Facebook feed or something.

1:19:15

And it's the one that tells like it compares how deep the ocean is with like things that like we've built.

1:19:22

And like it'll S like she'll show, like how far the deepest person dive, what a normal scuba diving is a scoop, like how the depths of normal scuba diving tank and go how far where the Titanic is.

1:19:32

And it just keeps fucking going. And it's like to the point to where you have the biggest building in the world, which is the one in Abu Dhabi.

1:19:38

And if it was like upside down, it still doesn't even scratch the surface of the depths of the ocean.

1:19:44

And it's, it's going back to like, even our early episode where you talked about it, the ocean is fucking terrifying.

1:19:51

Like it is. And just imagine how the imagine space.

1:19:56

Oh, this is not even comparable. No,

1:19:58

no. The Mariana trench. Yeah. The Mariana trench is the deepest part 11.

1:20:02

Okay. So 36,000 feet. So they even said like Mount Everest can fit upside Down

1:20:07

and still not hit the bottom of the ocean floor or something fucking stupid like that.

1:20:10

See this real quick.

1:20:14

Hmm.

1:20:14

I'll

1:20:14

try

1:20:14

to

1:20:14

see

1:20:14

feet

1:20:14

to

1:20:19

miles.

1:20:19

Seven

1:20:19

miles

1:20:23

deep. Maybe it's part of the ocean.

1:20:25

Seven miles.

1:20:26

That's

1:20:26

so

1:20:26

fucking

1:20:30

deep. It take you fucking 10 minutes to drive that far.

1:20:32

That's how deep the ocean is.

1:20:34

That's going 60 miles an hour, man.

1:20:36

It's colder to fucking well Digger's ass down there.

1:20:39

All dude. Yeah.

1:20:40

That's so cool, man.

1:20:42

That's just here on earth space and that's what we know of it.

1:20:45

It may even be deeper. There may be deeper parts than that.

1:20:47

You could hit up, man.

1:20:50

Dude, that's crazy. You can get the China.

1:20:52

It was seven miles or less.

1:20:54

Yeah, I would think so.

1:20:55

Space is just eat in comprehensible man depth in the how vast it blows my mind.

1:21:03

And it's just ever expanding. That's the thing that's crazy about it.

1:21:05

I don't know. It just doesn't stop growing.

1:21:08

I don't want it in. Where are we going to take our plastic fucking and that shit in the space.

1:21:13

That's where we have to take that shit. There's plenty of space in space.

1:21:16

Yes. That's where we're going to take our plastic.

1:21:18

Maybe that made me. That is the answer.

1:21:21

Recycling. Yeah.

1:21:22

We gotta take our plastic somewhere.

1:21:24

There's lots of space junk. They say tie it to a fucking balloon.

1:21:27

Launch it up there in the space.

1:21:28

The nylon Musk up with it.

1:21:30

12 twelve-year-old wakes up in the middle of the night and encounters and intruder.

1:21:33

Ooh. When I was about 12 years old, I had a lot of issues with night terrors and rarely slept the whole night through one night, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

1:21:41

I sat down and half asleep.

1:21:43

So it was a girl. Cause I sat down and P or it was me thinking of nothing, but emptying my bladder and going back to bed.

1:21:48

I do that sometimes after the, after, after sex pisses, I'm super tired.

1:21:51

I sit down to piss and fall back asleep.

1:21:53

When I see movement out of the corner of my eye, there was a man standing by the other door to the bathroom, staring at me not Moodle.

1:22:01

He was wearing a tattered, gray jumpsuit and a crutch fuck and little and no air crunch really sets it off yet.

1:22:09

Scary. I don't remember how I got down into the basement where my parents slept, but suddenly there I was hysterically screaming.

1:22:15

My dad finally went up and looked in the bathroom and kitchen and he saw nothing but allowed me to sleep on the couch down by the room.

1:22:23

Anyway, I didn't fall back asleep about an hour or so later.

1:22:27

I heard the sliding door to the bathroom from my sister's room in limping footsteps.

1:22:32

No, the next morning my dad searched around and noticed that our fridge and our pantry had been raided and we never caught the guy.

1:22:40

Damn. He was just hungry. That's scary, man.

1:22:43

I don't like people in my house in the middle of the night.

1:22:45

I don't know. But I'll smoke them man.

1:22:47

That's yeah. That's that's not fun. Shotgun rifle, bazooka, launcher.

1:22:50

I got them all. I got a fucking Fortnite arsenal in my closet.

1:22:53

I'll tear the ass out of somebody.

1:22:56

I'm waiting for somebody to taste my bazooka.

1:23:00

Launcher. Robert been waiting a long time.

1:23:02

Well, that concludes Stranger

1:23:05

danger episode, which I will tell you one thing.

1:23:08

This went many different directions.

1:23:10

Lots of stories.

1:23:11

Lots of stories.

1:23:13

Fun your dads, but God rest his soul.

1:23:19

My

1:23:19

dad's

1:23:21

balls. We'll be talking about my dad's balls at all.

1:23:23

We just did you, Larry just mentioned them.

1:23:26

I'm going to get arrested for that cop thing.

1:23:28

I feel so bad for that.

1:23:31

Yeah. That's okay.

1:23:32

Really nice family. I think they'll forgive me.

1:23:35

Like we all did some shitty stuff when we were kids.

1:23:37

Yeah, we did. That's okay.

1:23:38

I threw rocks through people's windows and I've ran away.

1:23:41

Yeah. We used to light people's houses on fire.

1:23:43

I did actually see a trailer get burnt out because someone threw a, I know if they threw a Molotov cocktail cocktail, they just lit a fucking porno mag on fire out was inside of it.

1:23:54

I thought, oh shit. Yeah. They legit burnt the whole Cherryl bark down.

1:23:57

We used to go agonal on dune.

1:23:59

That was, that was our thing. We go on, we drive around downtown Dayton and we wouldn't egg buildings.

1:24:04

We would egg people on sidewalks and we would go the bad part of town.

1:24:09

Where's people's guns and stuff. We would throw bean burritos at people, riding bikes, burritos, dude that's lives come full circle.

1:24:18

I love them. Now that's the closest I came to pissing myself or shitting myself from laughing.

1:24:24

I think I did get a couple of squirts of piss in my pants or laughing so hard being burrito.

1:24:28

Oh, we got, we got tired of doing it. My people.

1:24:30

So we just stopped and we're like sticking them in the back of people's windows on their car.

1:24:33

I mean, fucking beam marinas.

1:24:36

Did you have, did I think it was with Sean and Ben and I think we bought like 12 of them.

1:24:40

We ate like three and then just opened the rest of them up and just like pancake to my people.

1:24:46

Don't be cheap on that extra red sauce motherfucker.

1:24:49

And then some real dangerous shit.

1:24:51

We would, we would stay. Cause we lived over by a bunch of overpasses and then we would go down below the overpasses and just throw eggs at the cars on the highway.

1:24:58

Good, good. That's good. No, it's fucking awful.

1:25:00

It is awful. So mad. It was only the semis I'm filing a police report after this.

1:25:05

I was like fucking 12 that's okay.

1:25:07

It's all good. It's all good. All right guys.

1:25:09

Thanks for tuning into this episode.

1:25:10

If you're driving down I 75 going northbound through Dayton and he ever got hit by an egg.

1:25:14

I'm sorry. 2002, 2002.

1:25:16

Sorry, sorry.

1:25:18

Sorry bruh. It's okay. We love you.

1:25:20

Nonetheless love you.

1:26:10

When we keep Idaho students in classrooms, they have better physical and mental health help keep the student you love in school by getting them vaccinated.

1:26:18

If they're eligible, make sure they wear a mask frequently, wash their hands and stay home and get tested.

1:26:23

When sick our teachers and other school staff can also do their part by choosing to vaccinate, wearing a mask and supporting other preventive measures.

1:26:32

For more information on preventive measures, please visit Corona virus.idaho.gov or contact your child's school For

1:26:40

the ones who get going. When the going gets tough.

1:26:42

And the ones who know we're tougher together for the Pathfinders breaking new ground Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry as well as fast access to experts and 24 7 customer support because we know you have people depending on you.

1:26:57

So you can always depend on us.

1:27:00

Call, click ranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

1:27:10

Welcome back to holiday hits radio.

1:27:12

This next song goes out to a special trio.

1:27:15

TJ Maxx Marshall's and home goods.

1:27:18

Kate from Utah didn't know holiday magic was real until she met you from your always stocked gifts to your countless locations and great prices.

1:27:26

You're making our holiday dreams come true.

1:27:29

Let's hear that song.

1:27:31

Does

1:27:33

it? TJ Maxx Marshall's and home goods for endless selection and great prices.

1:27:36

All season long, The lines are lighting up.

1:27:39

Captain

1:27:48

Periscope, vacationers earning three times the points on the tour package with a PenFed Pathfinder rewards credit card.

1:27:54

Impossible, sir, they're civilians, whether you're in uniform or not Penn Fed's Pathfinder rewards card gives you three times the points for all travel, not just flights one and a half points for everything else.

1:28:04

That will be great for my next vacation.

1:28:05

As soon as we're back from deployment, PenFed credit unit Visit penfed.org/pathfinder cash advances credit card checks and balance transfers are excluded from earning rewards to receive any advertised product, to just become a member of PenFed insured by NCUA For

1:28:18

the ones who get going. When the going gets tough and the ones who know we're tougher together for the Pathfinders breaking new ground Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry as well as fast access to experts and 24 7 customer support because we know you have people depending on you.

1:28:35

So you can always depend on us.

1:28:37

Call, click ranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

1:28:48

Oh, M G your BFS birthday is here and you don't know what to get her.

1:28:52

No worries. One 800 flowers.com has you covered 1-800-FLOWERS is the ultimate birthday gifting destination.

1:28:59

For those who know it's not about giving a gift, it's about giving the gift, make every birthday brighter with exclusive offers and great values on gorgeous bouquets and arrangements to order today, visit one 800 flowers.com/ tune-in that's one 800 flowers.com/tune in.

1:29:26

We've got a new bearing Periscope vacationers earning three times the points on a tour package with a PenFed Pathfinder rewards credit card.

1:29:33

Impossible, Sir, they're Civilians, whether you're in uniform or not Penn Fed's Pathfinder rewards card gives you three times the points for all travel, not just flights one and a half points for everything else.

1:29:43

That'll be great for my next vacation.

1:29:45

As soon as we're back from deployment, PenFed credit unit, Visit Penn fed.org/pathfinder cash advances credit card checks and balance transfers are excluded from earning rewards to receive any advertised product, to just become a member of PenFed insured by NCUA, For

1:29:57

the ones who get going. When the going gets tough.

1:29:59

And the ones who know we're tougher together for the Pathfinders breaking new ground Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry, as well as fast access to experts and 24 7 customer support, because we know you have people depending on you.

1:30:14

So you can always depend on us.

1:30:16

Call, click ranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

1:30:28

Cloud is powering tomorrow's transformative missions.

1:30:30

Federal agencies are partnering with SAC to help them meet these critical moments where bold moves require confident blueprints, where you can accelerate transformation through consistency, where you can innovate forward and never look back, see quickly and securely migrates, large scale workloads to the cloud.

1:30:49

With the confidence you need to assure your mission, learn more at dot com slash cloud For

1:31:00

the ones who get going. When the going gets tough.

1:31:02

And the ones who know we're tougher together for the Pathfinders breaking new ground Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry, as well as fast access to experts and 24 7 customer support, because we know you have people depending on you.

1:31:17

So you can always depend on us.

1:31:19

Call, click ranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

1:31:30

Fall is the season of gathering that brings us together with warmth and color.

1:31:34

So whether it's a birthday anniversary or a special event, celebrate your friends and family with a gorgeous bouquet of roses from one 800 flowers.com.

1:31:42

1-800-FLOWERS makes it easy to brighten someone's day with 24 multicolored roses for just 39 99 to get 24 multicolored roses for just 39 99.

1:31:53

[email protected] slash tune in that's one 800 flowers.com/.

1:31:58

Does every dollar you spend on your groceries, create a healthier planet, build stronger communities and help farmers get a fair wage for their work they could with hungry harvest, get a weekly box of rescued, farm, fresh produce, and grocery staples that fight food waste and hunger delivered right to your every dollar you spend on your groceries create a healthier planet, build stronger communities, and help farmers get a fair wage for their work? They could. With hungry harvest, get weekly box of rescue farm fresh produce and grocery staples that fight food waste and hunger delivered right to your door. Whether you customize or want to be surprised with our handpicked variety of fruits and veggies, you'll save money and make a real you customize or wanna be surprised with our hand picked variety of fruits and veggies, you'll save money and make a real impact. Sign up today and get fifty percent off your first harvest with code hungry fifty at hungry harvest dot net. Oh M G. Your BFS birthday is here and you don't know what to get Your BFF's birthday is here and you don't know what to get her. No No worries. One-eight hundred flowers dot com has he covered. One-eight hundred flowers is the ultimate birthday gifting destination. For those who know it's not about giving a For those who know, it's not about giving a gift. It's about giving the gift, make every birthday brighter with exclusive offers and great values on gorgeous bouquets and It's about giving the gift. Make every birthday brighter with exclusive offers and great values on gorgeous boutiques and arrangements. To order today, [email protected] slash tune-in that's one 800 flowers.com/tune in To order today, visit one eight hundred flowers dot com slash tune in. That's one eight hundred flowers dot com slash tune in. If you love your mother's breasts, Oh, wow. You have come to the right podcast. Do you love? I'm not gonna ask you that question. I'm a delicious, make delicious from the Ohio Podcast Welcome to the creamspot, guys. I'm here with my best friend. You gotta tell him your name, dip Oh, that's me. Oh, okay. I was drinking as me. That's Cole Hey, guys. It's Rob Douglas calling on everybody. How's everybody feeling? He's his dude's best friend. How you feeling tonight? don't even know what he's doing. Hey, my I do. I don't even know where I'm at. That's alright, Rob. I got a belly full of chili and lasagna. man. I'm not even fucking I'm not even fucking here. I'm an intro traveling right now. But next Rob, I said, hey, man, you want some lasagna. My wife my wife made some really good lasagna. And he said, I just had chili. And I said, you fat fuck, and they immediately texted back. So yeah, I want So, yeah, I want I want some lasagna. I had two bowls of chili. My wife gave him a big old tit what tall stevel lasagna and g bread sticks. And all he's got is a plate and a fork left. There was not even a fucking crumb on that plate. You're gonna have ABM so bad later on. So I want that why why why Wipe my ass shit ass here? But shit's blows and I ain't gonna able to reach it. And I was telling, oh, Rob, though, you may have seen the commercials, but chipped all ice back with their brisket. Mhmm. Jesus. Nice. It's so good. It's hit or miss. I've had I've had it five times. Three of those times has been unbeatable twice. It tastes like fucking horsemeat, really. I I haven't had a bad experience with it haven't had bad experience with the yay. usually try to go, like, right around eleven o'clock, so it's fucking brand new. That's awesome. Killer. I I had some last night. The morning After I have Chipotle, mhmm, I have some type of emergency situation that goes on where I have to bow out and today was no different. Yeah. I was in a stressful situation at work. I had to excuse myself probably top three worst valve movements of my entire life. Now, not as bad as that time my shit, the trash can turned upside down, they're at the book's place, they deserved it. This was one of the worst it. This was one of the worst ones. This one of the ones where you just leave an apology note on the stall board. Yeah. Yeah. Because you know that cleanly he's gonna be like, what kind of fat motherfucker lives like this that allows their body to go get so nasty that this is what comes out of it. And I come in the clean ladies across America Because every time I walk into a bathroom, the way that people defile these things -- Oh, man, it's bad. -- someone has to go in and clean up after your nasty ass. It's a mom's house. Yeah. Someone has to go in there clean up, man. Yeah. We went to we went to a concert two weeks ago. And We went to go use a porta potty. It was a porta potty back behind a back behind a restaurant. There was a they had, like, a guard patrol in the parking lot. Just to to guide traffic. Mhmm. And I was like, hey, can we can we use that porta potty back there? He was like, man, you did not wanna go in He was he was like they haven't emptied it out from last from last night's football game. Oh my god. There was a big the big football game down there, and he said University Cincinnati game. And I guess they he said it was up to the top. I was like, oh, yep. I do not wanna use that. That good truck. We gotta break this one down. That's alright, dude. But you know everybody But, you know, everybody poops. That's the thing. It's important to keep in mind. Just because you think you're nasty. You're not really nasty. Because everybody does it. Even my grandma pooped. God rest soul. She used to give me your Bingo money too, and I would spending on candy and cheeseburgers and shit? He's spending on stuff to make you shit. Yeah. That's okay. Circle life. Let's say thank you to our new patron some drivers first up, we have Whiskey Dick. So sorry about your name. I think it's cool, though, Whiskey Dick. We did appreciate you being a patron. Love it there before. Sean Massey. Thank you very much, Sean. Space. hippie. That's an an opie also name. I hope that's your god given birth name because your fucking mom and dad loved you so much. They gave you an awesome name. That is an awesome name. I hope you sucked dick. Next we got now. Pedro. Thank you very much. Pedro. Oh man. Look at this Look at this one. New. Yeah. Chance is gay with a small weaker clawson. So not only is he gay, but he's got small weiners. That's kinda if I did if I did decide to officially go that route, that's what they would call me. They'd say Nick with the little dick. Yeah. He's the one. He's a sweet boy. He's a good neck kisser, but god is his sweet or small. And next we got Chris dirty sanchez. Thank you very much, Chris. Thank you. And last but absolutely least. Richard, big Dick. Let LeClaire La Claire, and they call him La Cher because he likes when guys sit on his face, but they actually look clear, Richard Big Dick. What does that say? Yeah. Dick, so Dick, big dick. Look clear. Dick, big dick. Yeah. Then we got chance with the small Wiener, little we got chance with the small leaner. Little redundant. It is. lot of a lot of references to small and big small big foul. Dick's in general. He has a lot of Dick's names here. Man, they know us. They got us pinned up against the wall. Speaking of being pinned up against the wall, I like and some boys. I also have a newspaper article. I'm pretty sure you're gonna go with that. Yeah. I mean, either. I got some funny news for you guys. I know we used to do the Battlefield Love. We didn't do one last week because every night last week, I was so fucking goddamn biz I'm never busy. I am the most I'm the laziest person in the entire world. Oh, man me too. My wife asked me December twenty third of twenty twenty to take down the Christmas decorations for this year. I still haven't done it, and I'm not doing it after thanksgiving. Just tell your planning ahead for next year. That's all you got damn terrorists. Hanging up fucking Christmas decorations at the beginning of November. That's why it's fucking snowing already in Ohio because all these people hanging fucking Christmas trees in beginning of November. Give me time to eat my cranberry and stuffing. You -- Yeah. -- fucking festive bitches. You got your uggs on, your peppermint mochas, you got all that shit going on. You'll tide fare. I don't give a fuck. I'm not ready for Christmas yet. No. I don't wanna think about how much money I have to spend on Christmas and how poor I'm gonna be. Mhmm. I don't wanna think about eating fucking catch up packets and condiments I smoke from the gas station on the day after Christmas because I don't have enough money to put baloney on the table. It takes me three months to recover after Christmas every single fucking year. It soon as you recover, it's like, oh, here comes the Easter bunny. You gotta buy a fucking two hundred dollar bag of jelly goddamn beans. Or in my case, my fucking truck breaks down. Well, I was so this is a cool dream I had the other night. Hell, yeah. Then I would wait and tell you about this. Sweet. So your truck keeps breaking down. Yeah. My father's been a mechanic for fucking a thousand years ago. He's in my guardian angel. He's been Rosman takes his truck to my dad and his truck was in the shop for months, months on India. And if he got it out and then two different things have broken since then. You had a your radiator explode, think your gas line was like fucking rotted out. Hey, my battery went dead, but that was that was an easy fix button on the list. Yeah. He's been taking the the truck my ever and I feel like once a week, I get a text from Rob hey, man. My fucking truck's broken. I just I just wait for it. Right. But then this last week, his radiator exploded and he sent me a picture of it and this goddamn thing. Oh, yeah. It was everywhere. Mhmm. But in my dream, you pull up my house in the truck. It's just knocking. Right. It's knocking like it's getting a blow up Yeah. And I came out and I was like laughing and you but you were emo. When you got a truck, you were wearing, like, a plucking black comb over hell, yeah. You could bake eyelashes and black fingernails. And then I was, like, laughing, you got an eyes. And what the fuck are you doing? And you were dead serious to Me. And you're like, man, I fucking hate you for you're like, man, I fucking hate you for this. And I was like, what? And you're like you're like, your dad fixed my truck, but then told me he was gonna sell me a brand new one. And I bought the brand new one and this is it, but this is my old truck. But then I said, Robert, think about it, man. You've replaced so much stuff on the truck. It's like a brand new truck. Maybe that's what he's trying to fucking tell it. That's what he's trying to tell you is a brand new truck. And you're like, I don't care, man. In. I'm going down the road of my musical career. I'm gonna start pursuing my musical stuff and you're, like, fucking flipping your hair at me. Sure. Yeah, man. If I had hair, I'd do that. And I was trying to be cool with you, man, but you kept on being push you, like, god, fucking hate you. I'm burn your house burning your house down. I said, you burned my house down. I'm gonna come in here and rip those fake eyelashes off and smacking you around with I don't remember what this you were so upset and I said, dude, fucking comb your hair, get the fuck out of here. And then you called me you called me from Beth's mom's phone after that. No shit. To apologize and tell me you've been drinking your storm pills and shit. I'm just driving around. Your store bills drink and you decide to dress up like a fucking emo fucking. all we've all been there. And this dream was so real, man. And like because my fucking truck always breaks down. And I'm so mellow and chill. I could just never Yeah. I can don't you're just you're that point in my life and my heart? I don't care what you do. I don't think I could ever get mad at you. And that's how I was the dream. I'm like chill out, man. Like, bro. It's fucking cool, man. You're like, I fucking hate you. I hate your fucking house. You're a I hate your fucking dog. I hate your cat. Like, you were just staring staring at me, and I'm just I got my arms up. I don't think anything could make me that mad. Then you were, like, looking past me, and you told me my garage door was open. You said, shut your a fucking garage door. Why? What are you here for? Have some fucking respect. Doctor garage door. We're fighting. That's said, man, why are you so upset? Oh, I do. That's so good. Dude, chill out. Man, I was trying not to laugh at you because you had this dumb comb over. You only have, like, you only have three nails painted black and white. Damn. You gotta step my game up on my nail game. It was a lot of on, though. I woke up laughing. It looks like four o'clock in the morning. I wouldn't go piss. I'm just laughing, squirting piss all over the place. I can't what I'm doing. Oh, that's so great. Alright. Where is the article? Terminal ill man arrested for muting its speed camera. Hell yeah. Darryl Meakim, who has recently told he had multiple system atrophy, exposed himself at the van, and Kidderminster, who Worst to Shire. Oh, I love their sauce on Friday. Mhmm. He say he was forced to the to the ground during his arrest later the same day. West Mercia Police said a fifty five year old man was arrested on suspicion of indies exposure and dangerous driving. Wheelchair user mister Mecom, who also has heart disease, kidney failure, and Parkinson's disease. Goddamn. He got the fucking straight flush right there, buddy. And after his diagnosis, he came up with a so called bucket list of things he wanted to do before died. No. Yeah. He decided to target the speed camera on Star Bridge Road in his hometown after he had had been caught by I gotta move this close to my face. I can't fucking see what I'm I can't fucking see what I'm reading. He he said he was called a couple times for silly speeds like thirty five miles per hour and a thirty mile an hour zone and it always bugged me. He said, I don't think anything of it said the father of two added. It was a good laugh. However, the response took him by surprise. I was simply Cops Smacked that I got arrested for muting a speed camera, he said. They picked a shit out of a man. Look at all the British cops. No guns of fucking big bellies and just beating this dude in the soccer jersey. He said about six officers arrived at his home a short time later asking me let in when he refused his guard and gate was kicked in, and the officers got him to ground to cuff him He said he his wife filmed the frightening incident during which mister Meacom told the officers he was terminally ill and would struggle and and he would struggle to breathe. He said also suffered from a blow to the head. Damn. I did not resist arrest once and I felt the the response was completely disproportionate in the circumstances he said, Mister Meacom, who felt unwell and went to the hospital after his release from custody, said he reported the incident to the independent office for police conduct. The police said officers received a report of in basin exposure on Starbridge Road about thirteen hundred GMT. Watch, I think, that's general mountain time. On the fifth of November and attended a property and coolly close with the intention of speaking to an individual regarding an incident. The force set on arrival officers attempted to speak to the man. However, the situation developed, which led to a subsequent arrest on suspicion of indecent exposure So he was just said, you know, I'm in a wheelchair. I got Parkinson's. I got a fucking tight ass butthole. You got all kinds of stuff going on on with him. But he's He was terminal. And he said, I'm gonna just go. I'm gonna moon this camera. Just let me live my life. I'm gonna beat the shit out of these cup. That's what I'm gonna do. And III mean, I got cup friends. I'm respectful to police. But when I find out that have a terminal illness, which is imminent, and it ain't really gonna happen to me. I'm just gonna vigil any fight cops. I'm gonna let them and I'm not gonna let them get me. I'm gonna be so swift footed and Fleet too. Yeah. Fleet footage, slick with my hands. You gotta streak at sports game too. I'm gonna knock the shit at all. Yeah. That's good way to for training, go go streak in let with him goddamn top flight. We're gonna come try and stop my ass. Yeah. Some fat fucking dickhead and a yellow shirt Just give them shoulder and watch them go flying. Order the flying roundhouse. I would fuck everybody up there. I would just just swing and kick everybody on the island. That'd be so much fun. It would be a lot of fun. And with the power of editing -- Okay. -- right now, we're gonna drop in two podcast promos. Q1 is Tara, from world's dumbest criminal. She sounds she sounds Australian, I think. It's safe to assume there soup to assume there's a she automatically captured our attention. And then next is our friends at Ghost in the night. And I'm a drop their promos in right here. Go check out. Did you hear about the Welles tourists who got drunk and stole a penguin named Dirk from SeaWorld on the Gold Coast? Or the Canadian guy who tried to beat a breathalyzer test by eating his own underpants. Hey, I'm Tara Saravan from world's dumbest criminals. An upbeat podcast about deadbeat films. Join me every Monday to hear about the most ridiculous bizarre and downright stupid crimes and criminals in the world ever. Like the Australian man who put out an unsuccessful hit on his wife and freaked out when she crashed her own funeral. For the Chinese woman who deliberately ran forty nine red lights in her ex boyfriend's car. Wealth Domma's criminals is available on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere else you listen to podcasts. Make sure you subscribe if you don't wanna miss any criminally stupid shenanigans. What's going on everybody? I am Phil, and I'm Travis. And we are the cohost of ghosts in the night, a hauntings and paranormal podcast. If you're into things that go bump in the night and they make your sphincter tied, then wear your guys. We'll cover everything from the ghosties in the closet to the monster scissors under the bed, the yetis, the bigfoot everything you could possibly want in the world. And even a little true crime if it tickles your pickle. You can catch us live every week on YouTube, or you can find us on your favorite podcast. app. We absolutely can crush We absolutely fucking crush that. And we're back. Wow. What do you know? You didn't even stop. It's like we didn't even stop. YouTube, they're gonna be, what fuck happened? Well, you gotta download the podcast, which puts money in our pocket. Which makes you happy. Makes us happy. It makes everybody happy. And then you can go check out the promos at the thirteen minute mark. Four two minute mark. Man. Now this next part of the podcast is where we cover the main the the nut of the episode. Oh, yeah. Than not. And I made Rob a drink, and I've been drinking it all week. Yeah, man. You're beating me for while. And then I came back in the home stretch and pulled and then I I came back in the home stretch. Mhmm. Pulled ahead. Oh, it's delicious. It's very good. Close to you. Get to the bottom, the better it tastes. Just like my like my butt hole. Yeah. What I got here is I got some Coke Zero. And I have Buffalo Trace Bourbon. Mhmm. You do a couple shots of bourbon, fill up the rest with the Buffalo Trace, and you you dunk in some cherry juice, and I got some Woodford reserve cherries. Which those cherries are amazing. They're really good. They're so good. Yeah. I can always call wood wood forest cherries. My wife's like, that's the ghetto ass bank at Walmart. Yeah. It does. Well, so I used to bank there. Because I was fucked up when I was nineteen. They're the only people that give me a checking account. Yeah. I mean, whatever you gotta do, I need somewhere to take them a check. Because my I used to work for a security company and my paychecks would bounce. Not even getting a band payroll check and your check bouncing. And it fuck my bank up. They're like, well, no, you can't bank here anymore because you keep on bouncing these checks. And I said, okay. Well, my guess, I gotta go to Woodforest back inside the war. That's where I gotta go. Yeah. It fucked me up, dude. Luckily, I've never had that happen before because I was buying diapers for my first daughter. Mhmm. My card got declined. I knew that I had money in there. I called the bank. They said, your payroll check got sent said your payroll check got sent back, got rejected, bounced. I said these motherfuckers, so I didn't even call my boss. I went to the place I was supposed to work that night. Mhmm. It was a nasty bar. I didn't go in. I just waited in the parking lot for them to call me and they're like, the bar is called where you at. I said, where's my fucking money? I played hardball dude, and they were already kinda short. You know, this is like fucking fifteen, what, what? 13, 12, 13 years thirteen, twelve, thirteen years ago. And he's like, I'll I'll bring you your money, but can you go inside and and work until I get there? said, apps are fucking literally not, dude. Nobody wanted to work there. I was, you know, I don't know. Yes. You know, the hood loves a delicious. Right. So I love working there. It was a it was called the Webster station. I had no problems working there, but they brought my fucking money, and then Yeah. Anytime I work into that, I fucking love it. Yeah. And said for now on, you motherfuckers can pay me and cash money. Un documented cash money. Fuck yeah. They did too. No more than bounce and check shit. And there you go. Slap the shit out of somebody over some money. Gotta gotta do, man. Be on it. Get them diapers boy. This I was buying diapers at a gas station too. That's how lazy I was. I talked about that earlier in episode that I was lazy. Yeah. And I told my wife, I think I saw somehow use a speedway. I got a bill pay car anyway. I was paying four four times what they were actually -- Exactly. -- paying, you know, thirty bucks for ten diapers. You're paying that prices if, like, someone just shitted themselves and you need emergency diapers. Yeah. was me. No. Now this episode is called stranger danger and kinda what this episode is. I kinda got on going down the wormhole. I'm working on a big one. I'm working on a big episode. Just I I don't wanna I don't wanna limp noodle it. I wanna have a lot of invested in it. It was a good, good It was a good good topic. So I needed something kinda quick to throw together. This is called stranger danger. This is instances of people having exceptionally weird encounters with strangers. Cool. I know a few months ago, we did an episode called, like, they don't want you don't tell. I don't remember what it It was just episodes, stories of people that had stories were so weird, they just never told anybody. Yeah. But these are encounters with strangers. Some of these are funny, some of these are fucking terrifying. But nonetheless, these are just encounters that people've had with strangers around the world. You ever had any weird weird weird encounters with strangers that you recall? Maybe maybe you'll your brain will it'll pick your brain when we get through the soon. Yeah. Not that I not that I remember besides this one dude who was asking me for directions and they followed me home and stole my bike. They're also fucking salty. Oh, man. Where was that at? Back by one of my old houses when I lived in Weaver. was probably See, I would have been in third or fourth grade. I have just gotten that bike too. Fuck that late. It like, what road is this? I'm, like, the street signs right there, bro. Yeah. Like, we're right by the stop signs. Gotcha, Mitch. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. This is blah, blah, blah, and he was like, oh, okay. Then he watched where I pulled the where we're like three houses away from my house wasn't watch me pulled in. I went inside to go take a piss or take a shit or something and it came back out and the bike was gone. I'm like, oh, fuck. Cool. Man, fuck that dude. Yeah. It pissed me off. didn't get you new bike, bro. We need a new mountain bike. He didn't get you new bike. Bocked up. Yeah. At Capella Capella University, Education is as smart as the world around us. With the FlexPath format, you can take classes at your own pace, set your own deadlines, and even leverage your previous experience to move faster. Now that's smart. Learn more at Capella dot edu. At Capella University, you're in control of your education. With the game changing FlexPath format, You can set your own deadlines and move at your own pace. The faster you move, the more you save. Visit Capella dot EDU to learn more. This one's called. I don't know what this one's called. With this person, some of these are from Reddit, some of these are just from the darkness holes corners of the Internet, all the dark holes. So it's Christmas Eve. I'm standing in line with the last remaining blockbuster video in the entire world. Which I did investigate this week. Is it Oregon, I believe? I think it's Oregon, but there's one blockbuster left in the entire more of like a tourist attraction, but they still rent me these three dollars a rental. I'll say no wonder why it's still there. There's nothing else to fucking do. Yeah. Fucking Oregon. Oregon, the Oregon Trail. Oregon. That's where I died from typhoon. Many times as a young child. Christmas Eve standing in line at the last remaining blockbuster video in the entire world in this weird older dude holding a baguette. Dude, yes. Yeah. I love the baguette. Just give me a sliced brother. Cuts in line ahead of me. Man, it's almost Christmas, so I ignore the cutting, but then he starts talking and he walks up all the big ass. But, yeah, little black weather. It says This is quoting him. It says, I move alongs for a living. Me. Plight nod. Him. I go over and cut these people's lawn. They have these two giant dogs like a rot and a lab big ass dog and they have shit all over the lawn. At this point, I'm just staring at him. Open mouth because I'm not used to strange men holding back after talking me about dog shit, a blockbuster video. And apparently, my shock has taken as encouragement to continue his weird little story. Him. So I can't mow along with all that shit on it. I go around scooping up twenty pounds of dog crap and I have nowhere to put it, so I dump it all in this Christmas box. I have sit in the back of my truck and finish my job. Then I go over the grocery store across the way to buy my baguette, and I get back some asshole storm. I dog shit. It was so fucking stoked on the dog's shit. And I was gonna go home and close out my underwear. Oh, just to eat that. You roll that in batter. You you you you fry anything. It tastes good. I get back some asshole stolen my dog shit right back of my truck. And now I have to find something else to give my ex wife for Christmas. Damn it. You then took a look around him and surprise and states We're the fuck emo. I don't even know why I'm in here. I'm not buying a video and then he leaves. That dude had to have been fucked up. I don't know, man. No. He's working. He's on his lunch break. He had a fucking baguette. Sounds like he was completely prepared to give his ex wife a fucking Christmas box of twenty pounds of dog shit. He probably went and picked up all that dog shit with his fingers and went and bought a baguette and was holding it in his hands and his poop hands and And I hate, you've never really had a dog, but I fucking hates shoveling dog shit, I hate you've never really had a dog, but I fucking yeah. He's shoveling dog shit man. Yeah. It's been a long time since that dog. I gotta go around the backyard. Some of it's hot fresh and squishy, so it's hard like a fucking alkylate, but it's all it's all foul. It just I don't even have big dogs. I make little make little poop. I feed them really The key is to feed them really high quality food. Mhmm. You know, I spent, like, fucking seventy or eighty bucks a bag on on dog food just because I don't You can't feed them cables and bits and expect them to have expect them to be good. I've seen some of these videos and, like, especially like tech talks for these people will, like, give their dogs the raw meat and stuff diet? There was one that's fucking guy gave his, like, his caviar -- Yeah. -- like a quail whaling. Whaling. They knows a there was a legit, like, fucking quail. I was, like, this bacon, it was, like, deep fried. And, like, it was, like, lamb bones and shit. And I'm, like, These fucking dogs are eating good. Yeah, man. They it's healthy form. They're they're national tree, natural carnivores, predators, man. It's uniform. I don't even know what I feed my dogs. It's puppy. It's like it's expensive puppy food. But Bruce Bruce is thirteen. He loves it. He eats He eats it. But now when he shits, I may have to get them off the puppy food because he'll legit shit like now when he shits, I may have to get him off the puppy food because he'll legit shit like us. He'll be out there squatting the yard for twenty minutes. And I'm just saying, yeah. Hey, man. What are you doing? You you got you need my phone. Yeah. He's about to read you a story. The guy get you squared away, pal, but he's out there. He just Taken shit. The other this is last night. And, god, fucking love this dog, man. I hope he's not dying. He's I can't able to yet take another dog. Dead dogs in one year. Yeah. But Paysley fell asleep on the couch. I picked her up. I was taking her to her room, and we just got her new bed. She got a bed with a slide. A slide. Like a loft bed with a slide. She loves it, man. But for my fat ass, it's fucking tough putting her up there. know she's falling asleep. She's getting big. But then Bruce followed me in. This is so fucking buddy. And I put her I'm, like, oh, struggle to put her up there. And when I was, like, struggling to get her up there, I turned around and Bruce is all, like, worked like he gets worked up anytime he sees me struggling. Yeah. I'm his guy, and he he he feels it. Yeah. I turn around my Bruce Man, you okay? And just out of fucking nowhere shotgun blast attack right now. He just stared at it. We're fucking five feet away from each other. And he's just not even squatting in. He's just looking to sail. Confetti cannons in. Like a t shirt gun. And it sounds like a fucking fart. This shotgun blasts the diarrhea. Oh. He was so upset and ashamed. He fucking he tried not stepping. But I said, and I know what it was. I made a I smoked a pulled pork and I gave him some of it. Oh, yeah. And he didn't eat too much. Yeah. And Stacey said, don't give him that much till get sick. I said, The dude's fine, and he'd be shotgun blasting the poop in basing his room. That's what sound like. He is, oh, and I say, god. Damn, man. There was a poop mist all over the hallway. Hard spray. Oh, man. That's bad poor guy. But the best part was? Is he didn't, like, even arch his back. He just maintained perfect walking posture and then fucking poop gun. He poop gun means just Oh, shit. think he wants me to die. Oh, man. This next one is you. This is the airport cops. Alright. I think this might be a long No. It's not that one. Well, this is really long, but it's good. I flew from RDU to LAX with my child on a red eye to avoid the hassle of renting a car. I called a driver from a reputable limo company. This was before Uber, Lyft was a thing, I think. I don't know when they started honestly. It was almost two AM, and my child was fast asleep, and the driver was helpful putting my bags away into the truck. When we got onto the five, he kept texting and swerving everywhere, which was terrifying enough in itself. After about half an hour, he said he's not taking me and my child to my parents' house. He's taking me to meet his friends instead. My thoughts to myself were do I put this guy in choke hold and ricks and ricks an accident with my child in the car? Or do I text my parents quietly? I end up texting my parents. One yeah. One was on the phone or and it depicts my parents. Yeah. Sorry. I don't I don't proofread these. Yeah. It's okay. While I was on the phone with police and one was on the phone with me, so there you go. I replied to instructions through tech and downloaded the app glimpse onto my phone, which showed them in real time where I was. The app, I firmly believe, saved my child and I from whatever that man was planning. I haven't ordered driver or taxi since because of that incident scared me so bad. That's scary, man, to be up. Yeah. Because as you know, we got lift and Uber, which is essentially killing the taxi industry. Sure. Which I whatever. But every time I've been a taxi cab, Those drivers are the nastiest. They got duck butter on their balls for sure. There's Oh yeah yeah, man. There's whenever we I've never been in an actual, like, legit taxi before I've been, like, not like a place that actually has them besides, like, when we went on cruise and we're in other countries, but those are, like, That's completely and that that their cut throat is fuck. The scary. Yeah. Like, when we were in -- scary ride. -- we were in different countries, man. Those we have people getting in fights overtaking us places. Really? Oh, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Like fist fights. I need that money, dude. That's what I'm saying, man. That's good stuff. Yeah. It was a good time. Social Americans wake up and wanna go work like that. Exactly. Maybe you get fucking something. Get this five dollars a gallon gas down a little bit. Hell, man. Yeah. I know. They want us to get electric cars is what they want. That'd be cool. I was looking to I was shopping. It's crazy thing. My car car The price of cars has gone up so much than my car that I bought a year ago is now worth five thousand dollars more than what I paid for it. Nice. And I've kind of been thinking about training it in when I priced a Tesla last night. It's like seventy thousand dollars for their cheapest base model. And I gotta find a fucking hole to plug it into. Yeah. I'll just keep my car. I don't need a fucking Tesla. As cool as they are, man. They are really fucking cool. I just wanna I want to be able to I want the, you know, the custom horn where I can blow my horn. It's like, a fuck out of the way. You can program it to say whatever I want. Yeah. think that's really fucking cool. Alright. Get program it to be my safe word. Don't stop. Yeah. Don't stop till you hit the spot. Fuck. I just wanna be able to customize my horn. That's that's the only reason I wanna Tesla. That's pretty cool. Yeah. That's that's silly. A dumb reason to get Tesla. It is. That and it costs as much as a fucking house in Ohio. Yeah. Yeah. Not only that thing you gotta pay to fucking charge the bastard and -- Yeah. -- even if you use, like, one of the public chargers, they, like, send you a bill in the mail. I think it dings your Tesla account. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. bunch of bullshit. Fucking wild. After my first year of college, I decided that I won a place of my own. This is a good one. A little long. That's good. I decide that I wanna place on my end. There was nothing wrong with the dormitories mind you. I just preferred the control and the quiet that a little privacy would afford. Sure. I wound up renting a place about two blocks away from campus and everything about it seemed perfect. It was inexpensive. So seven thousand dollars a month in San Francisco, you know, probably about what right about what that was. Close to public transportation and within walking distance of shopping and laundry. However, there was one thing, a person that made living there a little bit odd. One afternoon just as I was coming home, I was greeted by a girl standing on my doorstep. Okay? Hmm. This is how most of the pornos say the same exact thing is how most of the porno's How's how's it gonna say the same exact thing yet? She was a short chubby individual in her late twenty Oh, yeah. Bring it here, girl. Who spoke in a way that was both entirely clear and completely encompassed. incomprehensible. If that concept confuses you imagine what it was like to if that concept confuses you. Imagine what it was like to do. She told me that her restroom was being remodeled and asked if she could use mine. I hesitantly obliged if only because I was so taken aback by their quest, she followed me inside, went to my bathroom, almost as though she'd already known where the bathroom was and then complete silence. After five minutes or so, I knocked on the door, quote, I'm sorry to disturb you, I said, but I need to be leaving soon. It was a lie, but I was growing a touch concern by her behavior. In response to my query, she immediately opened the door, said something that might have been a thank you, and then stood in my living room. So If you could get going, I continued. That would be great. She replied by asking me for drink. Listen, I answered, you need to leave. Why are you seven around purple glumptions? Yes. My thoughts exactly. And then it says, at least that's what I heard. I don't wanna say that sentence again. I'm reading the sentence exactly as that was as it was written. Why are you seven around purple the gumption? Purple the gumption. Okay. So she was on mushrooms. I don't know. Please leave. I I don't know. Please leave. She finally started head towards the door, and I closed it after her before she could make another request. My first thought was the girl was homeless, but she seemed too clean and well groomed for that to be true. Perhaps, I reasoned she had been completely honest with me, and I'd simply been too paranoid about the situation. It turned out that neither option was the truth as I began to learn when she showed up again with an identical request. About three months later. This time, I apologized and turned her away wondering as I did what kind of bathroom remodel took that long. It's kind of poop that the Chipotle shit. Hell Hell yeah. Or you're bathroom up like that. Things took a turn for the truly bizarre after that. Some time it passed since my last encounter with the girl. And I had all but forgotten about her. Then, one evening, my roommate, a friendly Jovial fellow named Victor, decided to make himself dinner and since our apartment wasn't the most well ventilated of domiciles, he had the front door open as a makeshift vent. From my room, I could hear him steering a pot against steering a spoon against the pot when suddenly he stopped. Hmm. Oh, hello Hello? You said, this was followed by the sound of hurried footsteps, a door slamming shut, and Victor poking his head through my door. Hey. So, he said, scratching has had an amusement. Do you have a friend over something? No. Why? I asked with swiveling around to face him, some girl just walked in and locked herself in the bathroom. Oh, no, I thought. Was the was she short with brown hair? Yeah. Victory applied. Kind of fat. That's mean. That's her. I replied. Ever the word is about Victor. She's the one I told you about the one who keeps asking to use the bathroom. Victor began to look worried. Well, she's in there. Now what should we now. What should we do? We call fucking cops, but after a brief debate, we decided that we'd confront the girl together Victor, I'm sure it was a big strong manly ladder in Dallas, San Francisco. We knocked on the door and asked her to open it, and after receiving no response decided to resort to more drastic measures, As a hobby, I'd studied lockpicking. Since our bathroom door had an actual tumbler in its handle, the skills I learned and came in handy. It took me about three minutes, but I got the door unlocked. Only to discover that the girl had positioned herself firmly against it, barring us from entry. It took the combined strength of my roommate and me to force it open and all the wild, the girl screaming. No, daddy. She will. Fight for me, daddy. She has a fucking goal. Wow. This situation was real and more than a light a little frightening. And it was made all the more absurd when a middle aged man and woman came rushing into our apartment. Is our daughter in there the man demanded? She just came in victory up. We didn't do anything. I'm so sorry the middle age woman chimed in. She hasn't been taking her medication all. We learned as the girl's father dragged her from the bathroom that they were the previous owners of the apartment. In the house that in that in the house that it was in, their daughter was apparently operating under the mistaken notion that she still lived there and that Victor and I were the inner loper's. We received profuse apologies from the girls parents and to promise that their daughter wouldn't bother us ever again. The very next day, there was a knock of the door. Max, Victor called, she's back. Sure enough. The girl was on our front step again pounding on the wall and demanding to be let in. What should we do? The girl's parents had given us the girl's parents. Had given us their phone number just in case, but unfortunately, it went straight to voicemail. There was no way we were letting that girl into our apartment again but it didn't seem like the she'd go away on her own. In the end, we decided the best course of action was to call the fucking police. Sure. Five month passed before the first cruiser arrived at Front, we opened the door in time to see an officer in his sixties talking gently to the girl. Then a second police car arrived, and a third, and the girl provoked by something only she could see her here decided to attack the cops. Officer who had been speaking to her, She was swiftly subdued and handcuffed both the hands and feet all the while screaming in a language that resembled English but will still complete gibberish. It was only then the girls parents arrived both looking concerned, but still like they're expecting the scene in front of them. Things quieted down after that. The girl was released in the care of her parents and nobody seemed inclined to remember the attempt to assault. Both Victor and I declined to press charges and we wound up chatting with the officer for a good half an hour. It was we found out literally his last day on the job before retiring. Oh, man. He told us some hilarious stories about his days before becoming a cop and his adventures as a rookie, as well as a brief history of the girl we had so much trouble with. Her family explained we're old friends of his and their daughter had an especially bad form of schizophrenia. She was paranoid about taking her medication, which only made things worse for her. And although her parents were supposed to get heev vigilant watch over her. They were often lax about it. It wasn't the most pleasant of situations. He had to admit, but at least it made for some interesting stories. Definitely agree with him about that TLDR, a schizophrenic stranger, trying to lay claim to my bathroom. Oh. I'm in here. Take a shit. That's what I would have said. Yeah. Hey, man. Hey, fat boy. want you to run-in there. So what fat boys do? A fucking poop. I'm in here taking a big old fat chunky poop. I said that the other day, I was at drop the kids off my mom's, and I went to the bathroom. My mom said, what are you doing? I said about taking a bill of chunky shit. Let me chunky one. She said, You're fucking gross. Anytime my mom hits me with the f word, I know she's thinking about it but fucking aborting me and if she could do that, go back thirty four years. And cram a fucking traffic cone up her butt and kill my ass. I know that's what she would have done. A big chunky shit. Every time I do something stupid, my dad's always like, Should've bought a condom. Twenty five cents. I gotta bought a condom. You know, III think I've talked about this before, but my my older brother, he's about ten years older than me. Mhmm. And my mom had a really hard time having him. They really did a number on It really did a number on her. They said they own They set they almost it. She almost died on the operating almost died in the operating table. They said, listen. This kid, he really did number on your your your internal. So your lady parts Unfortunately, you're not gonna be able to have kids again. And that kinda devastated my mom and dad as they wanted more than one just one kid last four or ten years. Be a little fucking, you know, morning sickness going on. Take a pregnancy test. They're pregnant with me. Probably the coolest fucking dude ever born in the entire world. Life is perfect, but they got a, like, you know, ten year old, they got me. So that's a big gap, huge gap. Yes. They were closing it down. After the c section for me, my mom had her tubes tied and fucking tubes tied and then locked up. I don't even know was it sixteen months after I was born, she gets pregnant with no. It was just a few months after I was born. I don't remember the exact amount. But just a few months after was born, she got pregnant with my younger brother after she had her tubes tied. He was a butt baby. He's a a butt baby. And I always tell my little brother. I always say, you know what the fuck is wrong with dude. The pipes are came out of mom's ass. Thubes are tied. It's only half of your sperm could fit through. And that's why you're so and that's why you're so dumb. Idiotic and stupid. But he's nice. He's smart. He's a good do. I got good brothers, but always tell my little brother he's a piece of shit and he's stupid. But he tells me the same thing. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's what brothers do. Only half the sperm to get through on that one. That's what's wrong with him. That's so good. Unfortunately, I'm the coolest of the three brothers. So if you ever meet those two guys in public, we all kinda look alike. Just know that if you meet the older one, He's grumpy all the time. He is pretty much grumpy all the time. Excuse me. The younger one doesn't have any fucking clue what's going on in the me. The younger one doesn't have any fucking clue what's going on in the world. He's more clueless than job about everything. He knows how to build rocketships and stuff, but he has no fucking grip on reality. It's great. I love it. It's pretty sweet. I I didn't know it. I said, hey, you watch the Reds game. He'd be like, the what? They they watch they watch the football game? Oh, on, watch it where? So the fucking TV. What's the fucking TV? Jesus, man. I'm gonna work on my rocketship and build a rocketship. Right. That fun, buddy. See you later, man. You know my dog shotgun blast the poop across my hallway earlier this week? Yeah. don't care, man. What's poop? Well, it was a dog. Why do you have a dog? Why do you have a dog? They've been at this dog for thirteen years. Like, when did you get a dog? Who are you? Yeah. Hi, brothers. Why do we have the same weiner? Hey, guys. Hey guys, I know it's getting close to the holidays and that can really slow I know it's getting close to the holidays, and that can really slow down some view, make you feel like you don't necessarily have someone to talk to and maybe you have something that's interfering with your happiness. Well, our friend's a better helper here to help you are friends that better help are here to help you today. No matter what you are struggling with, whether it's anxiety, relationship, sleeping, trauma, self-esteem grief, anger, stress, depression, our friends at better No matter what you are struggling with, whether it's anxiety, relationship, sleeping, trauma, self esteem, grief, anger, stress depression, Our friends have better help. H E L P can help you HELP can help you today. today. You're gonna start communicating with a counselor in under 24 hours and it's You're gonna start communicating with counselor in under twenty four hours and it's not self help. It's professional counseling. You can send a message to your counselor You can send a message to your counselor anytime. And you're always gonna get a timely and thoughtful response. And one of the best parts it's completely affordable one of the best parts, it's completely guys. And actually right now, so many people have been using better actually, right now, so many people have been using better help. They are recruiting additional counselors in all 50 They are recruiting additional counselors in all fifty states. I want you to start living a happier life I want you to start living a happier life today. And as a listener of the Broho HIO podcast, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting better help.com/ And as a nerve the Ohio podcast. You'll get ten percent off your first month by visiting better help dot com slash Again, guys, that's better. HELP dot com slash bravo. Join over one million people taking charge of their mental health. Again, that's better Again, that's better help. H E L p.com/bro Ohio HELP dot com slash bro. Fresh fresh from San from San Diego. California comes the only sunglasses brand I'm ever going to California comes the only sunglasses brand I'm ever going to wear wear. Again, I'm talking about blenders eyewear and you're going to be just as hooked when you see how awesome these shades again. I'm talking about blenders eye wear and you're going to be just as hooked when you see how awesome these shades are. I got on the pick, my sunglasses on their website, infinite choices, every style, every color, every shade, every sunglass you could ever want the entire world as got on to pick my sunglasses on their website, infinite choices, every style, every color, every shade, every sunglass you could ever want in the entire world is there and they all have affordable prices that you're not gonna beat. Chase Fisher started blenders by selling his beachy shades out of back pack while Dublin is a surf instructor on the Pacific Beach, his goal was to create an adventurous mid priced eyewear option with the same cool factors. Other leading styles, unlike expensive, big brand shave that you've probably lost or smashed in the as other leading styles unlike expensive big brand shades that you've probably lost or smashed in past. Blenders are actually the Blenders are actually affordable. So you're not going to cry as much when the inevitable so you're not going to cry as much when the inevitable happens. Blenders team Of in house designers are constantly coming up with new styles from orange, polarized wraparounds, toward a shell frames with purple lenses to classic gold arms on black lenses. To save big and score fifteen percent off your blenders purchase, visit blenders eyewear dot com and enter the promo code, bro. HIO, VIP that's blenders Ohio VIP, That's blenders eyewear dot com. Use a promo code, brookiah VIP for fifteen percent off blenders, rock with pride worldwide. It's finally that time of year that the air is rich with the smell of delicious holiday dinners. So this holiday season bring home the authentic taste of gourmet Mexican cuisine, Texas lone star tamales has their own tamale recipe, which combines the perfect balance of Masa, which is finely shredded meats, peppers and spices, hand rolled and natural corn So this holiday season bring home the authentic taste of gourmet Mexican cuisine. Texas lone star tamales has their own tamale recipe which combines the perfect balance of Masa, which is finely shredded meats, peppers, and spices, hand rolled, and natural corn husks. The natural flavors will have you wanting these tamales, every holiday and Texas lone star natural flavors will have you wanting these tamales every holiday. And Texas lone star, tamale. He knows that the holidays are a busy time and you'll be flying around trying to get everything ready for your family and knows that the holidays are a busy time and you'll be flying around trying to get everything ready for your family and friends. But thankfully you can have that stress erased with Texas lone star tamales, the Texas lone star tamale family will help take care of the But thankfully, you can have that stress erased with Texas, Lone Star Smolleys, the Texas Lone Star Tamale family will help take care of the food. Take it from it for me. me. They sent us some tamales and the other night we didn't know what to do for They sent us some tamales in the other night. We didn't know what to do for dinner. Took a packet of these chicken tamales, threw them in some hot Took a packet of these chicken tamales threw them in some hot water. They came out, we put some sour cream, cheese and lettuce on came out. We put some sour cream cheese and lettuce on there. These things I've never even had to molly's before. I don't think they are I don't think. They are incredible. They blew my socks off so blue my socks off so easy. They taste fresh just like they were made that taste fresh just like they were made that day. Absolutely delicious Absolutely delicious tamales. I cannot recommend the Texas Lonestar tamale company I cannot recommend the Texas Lone Star Smolley Company enough. So get your fast delivery, Texas lone start So get your fast delivery Texas loan start tamales. They also want you to spend most of your time with your They also want you to spend most of your time with your family so their tamales fall a simple two step process and they're ready to go almost immediately. As a holiday gift from their family two years, use a coupon code for Ohio at checkout to receive a free dozen the free guys. A free dozen gourmet tamales with your next order. Make your experience authentic Make your experience authentic shop. Now at Texas lone starts Molly's dot now at Texas loan starts molly's dot com. Use the promo code Brio for 12 free of these delicious Use the promo code, Ohio for twelve free. Of these delicious tomorrow. Oh Let's see here. This one's called a duck shouldn't. What's BI? BI used to work Yeah. Yeah, Sure. So so BI used to work used to waitress in a CD bar. I think I I actually would not I like like BI. No. It's just I. Yikes. I was like, there's some Internet lingo that I don't know of. Yeah. Secret. After closing, the wait staff would meet at a twenty four hour restaurant slash motel for breakfast. As I'm waiting for everyone else to arrive, I notice creepy man drinking a milkshake at the counter. I wanna be that guy. That's me. Yeah. I mean, you're just creepily drinking a milkshake. I thought weird because I was in the middle of the Canadian winter. Around this time, there was a lot of talk of working girls going missing. I waitress at a gentleman's club and it was maybe two minutes yeah. Two minute walking walk away from the restaurant and motel. So it was less than desirable neighborhood to say the least. Because of the transient nature of that line of work, the missing girls were mostly just rumors as it was a tourist town, stuff like that never made the papers. Anyways, I'm sitting at the restaurant and getting major creepy vibes from this dude. People will arrive. We start We started chatting about our night. He's still sitting there, but I'm ignoring it and kind of forgetting about the weird feelings. After I finish the my meal, I go out for a smoke alone. Bad idea. This was around the time that my province started tightening up smoking bylaws. So you're no longer allowed to smoke on patios with awnings. This meant I was at the end of the patio adjacent to the dark and almost creepy I'm sorry, almost empty parking lot. Right by where I was smoking, there was a car with American plates. Not unusual in in of itself, but as I'm looking at this SUV, creepy milk Shake man comes out of the restaurant. I quickly put two and two together that this is his car. He starts talking to me saying really weird stuff. Needless to say, he got my attention very quickly. I figured since you were given me the cold shoulder I'd come out. In the cold. Okay. Alright. Just really weird stuff as he's talking to me. He's making unwavering eye contact. His head is hung slightly low and he's just glancing at me from under his eyebrows if that makes sense. Yeah. It makes perfectly fucking good It seemed very predatory, and my alarm bells ringing. As he's talking, he's slowly walking towards me in his hands in his with his hands in his pockets. He never broke eye contact. I've heard people talk about predatory stares that faces of evil. If I had any doubt about his intentions, his eyes told me everything that I needed to know. They were pure black and filled with hate. It's the only way I can describe it. He continues advancing towards He continues advancing towards me. I'm stuck between this man and the trunk of his SUV. He's less than a foot away from me, and my back is literally against the wall. It became apparent. It became apparent that he was going to take me. His hands were still in pocket. I don't know if he had a knife, a gun gun, or what, but I knew I did not want to find out what he had his pockets. It was a dick. I got it. It became very clear to me I would have to fight him off. As I'm preparing to knee him in his balls, he's barely in arm's length the way now. I could hear his footsteps. See, the motel is above this is restaurant with concrete steps leading down the patio in the entrance. The second he heard someone coming, he ripped his hands out of his pockets and took a giant step away from me. I flipped my cigarette and ran inside Heridley to tell the dining room bouncer, the TLDR version of what happened. It took me maybe thirty seconds max. They ran out side and he was long gone. If I ever had doubt of his intentions, his reaction to someone coming negated any and all doubt, you cannot convince me that I wouldn't have been raped or murdered I felt it in my bones. The LDR almost got abducted when I was nineteen. And that's one of the scariest things I think about. Hell, man. Is someone abducting someone I love? And it's an awful thought. God, dude. And those people those people are out there. It's I don't wanna be a person that does that. I know I don't want I do not want to abduct people. Yeah. Yeah. If someone abducted someone from my family, I would double back, and I would abduct them. And I would fuck the shit out of them. That's the first thing. I don't know if Yeah. This past, like, this past week, we had an Amber alert -- Yeah. -- hit all of our phones. And, like, every time I get that, I'm like, hurts. Fuck me. I, I can't, I can't imagine that I I can't I can't imagine that feeling. Yeah. Normally, it's someone close to the child. It usually is. It's not necessarily the worst pants, which I guess makes a little easier to swallow, but nonetheless a missing kid. Oh my. When I was five years old, My parents lost me on the boardwalk in Ocean City, Maryland. Yeah. And it was my stupid fucking fault. I let go of the the late we went with my mom and dad's best friends. I let go of my mom's best friend's hand, and then kinda just wandered off. But I was missing for probably four or five minutes. I walked up to a cop. I said, I lost my parents. This dude went into fucking fuck mode, and then I saw my dad Sprint Oh. The guy does not run. Okay. I said, man, that's my dad. Any user. Brown hair classes. And he's yelling, my dad. Then my dad come right over. He scoot me up. And I said, I thought I lost you. Beat the fuck out of Beat the fuck out yesterday. I don't know. My dad was like, dude. And my dad stern. Just a good dude. Never like Not one of the day. Like, come give me hug and kiss, buddy. Never anything like that. don't think I've ever kissed my dad. I wanna change that. So Please give him one him around his lips. But he's oh, I was just playing hide and seek with you, buddy. He gave me a kiss on the head and God, I could see the fucking tears in his eyes, He gave me a kiss on the head and God. I could see the fucking tears in his eyes, man. Didn't cry either. But that was scary situation. Then, like, later on that same trip, my little brother was drowning in a pool, and they'll dose it. And I said, that's my motherfucker gone. I'm looking at him. He's drowning. He's just down there. I'm too fucking fat to swim. can't get down there and get his ass. So I said, I'm like saying goodbye because he's gone. You know? Yeah. He's not gonna stand over my fucking dick. Over my fucking boy. You know your GRJ o's bitch. I'll hit your power ringer. You wouldn't be playing with you fucking fucking ass bitch. I'm the baby now, pussy. Yeah. The power ringer not playing motherfucker. Yelling that is it. And then my brother my older brother, you know, I thought he's ten years older than -- Mhmm. -- knocks me out of the way, dives down there, like, Pamela in her in Baywatch. Gipsy's ass comes all the way up to the surface with him. You know, the edge of those hotel pools are like a a little bit of a lip with concrete lip. Mhmm. He comes up with such real zest and speed he hits my brother's fucking head on the shit. And drops his ass all the way to the bottom again. It was like, Oh, man. Oh, man. That's a rap. He's like Garner. Oh, man. If he does come out, he's gonna be a fucking water He's, like, he's, like, at the process of drowning, and then he gets his fucking concussion and falls back then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I can hurdle that. He's a his head and dropped his ass. Like, little water heads. He went back down and got him and brought him up, and he was he was alive. I said, I'll getting fucking milling heads. I'm not getting those power razors. That's son of a bitch. Oh, man. But when he brought him up, like, torpedo coming up by the water. His head dropped him. And I say, oh, he's gone. That's dead. My motherfucker's gone. Oh, dude. I would've been so bummed if I was, you know, stay in there with my water wings on, and I'm thinking even if I wanted to rescue him. You know, I especially you with, like, a fucking ice cream, like, an ice cream truck, like, popsicle on your hand. I think I was. No. Dripping all over your face and all that in your annual life, man, this sucks. That's starting to fall in and try to get in the ball or whatever. Said, you did bitch ass. You've been wearing some water wings like my fat ass. You learned a day, man. Oh, man. Well, the fire couldn't swim. He tried to tell you when we got to, he said, he said, I could swim. I said, no. Fucking you cannot swim. And they said and you just fight my mom and dad tooth and nail by these goddamn water wings. I kept mine on. I knew my limitations. Robert. It's so funny that if I got in the deep end, my ass was not coming back up. He fought them tooth and nail for these water wings. He went down, and when he went down, he didn't come back up. He was almost lost his life. And he landed the accident. They could've they could've erased him. He was a accidental child would have been easy without their losses. No. I mean, that was a weird trip though. They lost my I think they lost me on purpose. Maybe I think I remember my mom pushing him in the water, though. She never said it. His walks by and just gave, like, a little push and just kept locked in. What do the sad part was? So my mom was the one that seemed go in. She can't swim where the shit. Oh, man. She had a she had AAA brother. She she has a brother that's still alive. Uh-huh. He had he had a twin brother that drowned -- Oh, shit. -- in a river when my mom was in her twenties or something like that. Damn. And so my mom is terrified of of water because -- Yeah. -- to her brother. But she definitely did not go in after my brother. She was gonna let him drift off to heaven. But my older brother saved the day. Good for him. Good thing he was there. Yeah. But we had to have his cat put down a little while after that. Damn. It's a long story. In my life, I should just write a fucking book like for every good thing that happens, two bad things happen. Yeah. It was a good cat. Grass cold is a good cat now. So where are we at? Man. Fuck. He has made a fun story really sad. Was, like, twenty two or something. The fucking cat had maxed out the the credit card. It was, I guess, I guess it was was guess what I guess. It was done. It was a good life. He got his head fucked up there towards me. He was walking in circles all the He's walking circles all the time. He saved my brother's life, therefore, we put his cat down. Long story dude. I was once driving in the country and it was pouring rain in the desert nights. My mom and dad are gonna listen to this nigga to call me, and they're gonna say, Enough is enough. Quick telling everybody about our life. So hard that I was driving very slowly. I couldn't see any of the signs. This is before GPS. I mean, I'd never been in the rain this heavy. I had to pull over the side of the road to try and see this sign to see if I was going in the right direction. I hate driving in the red. Oh, man. It's so bad. I got stick with him. So it just looks like it's someone fucking shit of ferrous wheel out in my face. I can't see anything. Especially when it's, like, really bad. Like, your windshield wipers can't even up. Oh. I didn't get out due to the rain, so it was creating my neck for it to try and make out where I was and suddenly the passenger door opened -- Oh, shit. -- and a man got inside the car, sat down and looked at me. Here is South Africa. I'm sorry, here in South Africa, there's a fair amount of violent crime and hijackings. So I instinctively started panicking and yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms and trying to do something. Anything stopped this guy from attacking me. He started screaming his own terror. And jumped out of car. Yeah. I quickly leaned over and closed the passenger door and sped off down the road. I was breathing so heavily at this point and trying my best to calm down nearly in tears. I kept replaying it in my head the whole time and suddenly remember the demand smiled at me. It suddenly dawned me that it was probably a hitchhiker that I hadn't seen who thought that I was pulling over to give him a lift. Only to be greeted by screaming and trying to try and get him out of the vehicle. It was probably a scariest encounter with a stranger as well. Damn. That's pretty weird. Yeah. That's crazy. And I remember this whenever growing up, we used to This is back in, you know, back in day when you could leave your front door unlocked. That's changed. You can't leave your front door unlocked. Oh, hell no. Not anymore. I remember one Sunday morning. We're all sleeping in. My little brother comes into my room, he says. To see my little brother was he always just like a sleeper on the couch. Yeah. And he say, hey, there's a guy on the couch. And we always had people coming and going. We had cousins. My brother had friends and shit. Yeah. And I just we had a cousin that stayed with us a lot. God rest of soul. But he had he would always have friends stay with him. And I say it's probably wanna boom his friends. Anything. I said, we'll go wake up dad. So he went and woke up my dad. My dad I watched my dad. Peek around the corner of this dude. And he went back to my mom. He said, that's not anybody. I know this is a, some dude sleeping on our I know. This is a to some dude's sleep it on our couch. Oh, man. And my mom said, what are you gonna do? My dad put on his fucking cowboy six shooters for that holster with a fucking bell on with a sit like a revolver. And he said, close the door. So we closed the door enough to still see what was going on. Yeah. He walked up fucking mafia style. Now Sean Wayne does that. Slapped him on the face with the gun and said wake up. And the guy woke up. My dad's got the gunpoint in his face. And he says, am I such and such address? And my dad said, No motherfucker. You're a 5, 5, 5 You're at 555 Main. He said our address. We said you're a fuck. Yeah. 555 Main Street. Get the fuck out of here. In this dude, like, stood up, put his hands up, walked out the door, never to be seen again. He went to the wrong fucking had no idea where he was at. He went to the wrong house. Yeah. I just I'd reading this story, maybe think of video. I just saw it. I sent you a Is it can we watch it on here? Yeah. We should be able to. Yeah. Okay. It was in me see, where was that at? I just saw where it was at, but I have no idea where Well, I asked for help from bunch of guys driving a car claiming that she was drunk hold on a second. It's an it's an India, I believe. Because think someone said it's a new high. Okay. See if we can play it on a I don't know I don't know how to get it from my phone to the fucking to get it from my phone to the fuck it. Oh, okay. Be hard to do. Yeah. Let me see here. I could email it to you. You could do that. Let's do that. This next one, We'll call it it's a story by kitty on the titty. Maybe the first one. Maybe first one to write it. I was once driving in the country. Well, I already read this one. So we're not gonna read this one again. I just sent you the video. So Okay. Is it which email did you send it to? The only one I have here at Gmail. Okay. At least, Scott, don't see it. Excuse me. People like the mess of me. There it is. Let's see it. This was some wild shit. Does a girl on the side of the road flagging down. This driver, down this driver? Robert, are you aware this is not an English child? Yeah. Yeah. You you just gotta watch it. So pretty much what she's saying. She's saying that she was dropped off there and she needs help. Okay. But, really, this this whole video was just a setup for them to rob these people. Oh. So she's got people waiting. Okay. So she's in on So She's in on it. Okay. Yeah. You can give it little fast forward if you want. So you can You can see she keeps looking around. come. Look. All those all those fuckers. Yeah. I just got a fucking bat I think one of the dudes have the machete or something. Jesus Christ. Dude, I had a fucking hell of those people over. I had to turn all of them into hood ornaments. Oh, yeah. Do no doubt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's terrifying. That's like, anytime, like, there's just always think about shit like that, man. There's this road around here called Jacoby Road in Springfield. Mhmm. One of my best friends growing up. His brother used to say that they would go there. And I had other people say talk about the same story that every time they would go there, the these fucking dudes and, like, sheets like bed sheets, like ghosts, covering blood, would come running out of running out of the fucking corn. Oh, man. You start beating the shit out of your car, rock in your car trying to get you out of it and stuff, but they're always, like, come out, covered. They go up there and slaughter pigs and fucking cows and they go up there and slaughter pigs and fucking cows and shit. And they wear these white suits and they covered in blood, and you roll up in this road, and these mongoloids come running out of the tree line, just are beat shit out of your car, they come running out of the corn, out of the tree line, ball bats, fucking hammers, hatchets. I wouldn't go there. Why would you go there to even Yeah. Especially that's a thing. Oh, yeah. I heard this place is heard this place honey, I think, you know. Of course, I like to go to haunted places. But then if they say there's a place where the dudes are out of woods with hatchets and shit, covering blood, Alright, guys. Have fun. Alright. There's nothing I need to go. Yeah. That's what people ask me to do dumb shit all the time, but you can do a backflip off that fucking handrail. No. You're right. Used to. I would try it. I'll say God I say, goddamn it. But now, I say, I will look someone dead in the face. I say, I got nothing to fucking prove to you. You're not my mom. You're not my wife. You're not my dad. I have nothing to prove to you. I'm not doing a backslip off that hand railing. Although I can probably do it if I wanted to. I'm not doing it. Still pretty agile. I can I can get around? Let's see here. Where are the kitty titty thing? Kitty titty. Okay. This one's yeah. This is all you. This is not a yard sale one. Hell yeah. Went to yard sale with my aunt when I was, like, five. My little boy about the same age as me, approaches me, and tells me to come inside and meet his dad. Oh, god. I wonder off with him without my ant noticing. He brings me into house where the yard sale is taking place. We go down to the basement and there is his naked dad lying on the couch excitedly greeting me as if he'd been awaiting my company or something. I actually don't remember much after that. I just got out of there as fast as possible. It's been a strange memory of mine ever since. Holy fuck. I did shit like that all the time when I was kidding, man. I was always fucking stuff, but I love doing stuff like that. Oh, man. That's awesome. Make a dude like that. I've been so excited because you know, I was gay, but just cause it'd be cool to see something like I've been so excited, not because of, you know, I was gay, but just because it'd been cool to see something like that. Back in the day when I was probably sixteen seventeen, I still lived at home. Oh, no. That's the agent consent bro to go on. I don't know. I was I was always like Hi, guys. My my little brother gets my then girlfriend now wife And he's like, hey, come here. I got something to show I got something to you. I heard this story. Yeah. And she's like, okay, what? My brother's just he's always been a fucking shithead. So Yeah. So he takes her upstairs and he's like, look. Look. And she looks into bedroom where my parents well, I don't even know she knew that was a room. And there's my dad laying there but ass naked his ass just facing the door. And as he points and my wife's looking, he's just fucking sitting in the back on dying, laughing my brother as he just went back, they were like, he just knows what she's gonna see. Got his ass. He's such a shithead. Oh, man. That's a good One. I don't think he ever knew that having, I don't think he ever knew this happened. Oh, god. I love it. I was probably sixteen sitting at home alone in the computer when I looked up and saw a man on my back patio looking at the windows and heading towards the door. I have no idea what came over my stupid teen girl mind, but I opened the door and firmly told him to leave. She had balls. Big old motherfucking balls or iron balls. It felt like the voice that came out of me was not mine. It was a guttural and deep and grounded, which was the opposite of how I felt. He looked at me and didn't move. He wasn't shocked. It was sort of like he was trying to challenge me or scare me by holding his ground I said, leave one more time with the same voice and he backed up. He said, I was just looking for paint and I responded I'm about to start looking for my dad's gun. Damn, good girl. My divorced dad did not live with us nor was there a gun in the house, laugh out loud. I slammed the door, locked it, and went to call nine eleven. They found the guy breaking into another house down the street. Oh, man. God. I got to go pick him out of a lineup and everything, still one of my scariest moments and possibly one of the creepiest moments in my Shitterhouse is about to get broken into. Luckily, she's found him. And that was this is the one that reminded me of the the the guy in in our house but there is this is another funny story. I keep on breaking off these fucking stories I've never told before. These are all good. This is all good shit. Yeah. This is one time I was hanging out with Aphi when my one of my best friends in high school. And every time I hung out with Aphi, I was either trying to fucking finger somebody or I was drinking alcohol. And I never really did a lot of bad stuff, but every time I was with that motherfucker, I was doing bad shit. Get to keep up and do this day. Every time I'm with him, get in trouble, man. It's a stretch. You know, not stuff that's gonna cause a divorce or anything, but it's like, oh, babe, I'll be gone for couple hours. I'm gone for fucking twelve hours. Sure. Shit like that. Yeah. But one night, we were we snuck out. We had bottle of hot damn, which is cinnamon schnapps. Mhmm. Oh, but it was the burn man. Yeah. We snuck out, drank it in the woods, but this stuff they had before fireball. Yeah. No. We we drank it, got drunk, came back in the house, probably an hour or so. We were coming back in the house. His dad was waiting for us. His dad popped up. He's like, what are you motherfuckers like, what do you motherfuckers do? And I said, we heard a noise outside, and we were gonna see what it was. He said, what? I said, there was a guy in the yard coming up towards the house, we chased him back towards the tree, because their their backyard butted up to some woods. Yeah. I said, there's a guy coming in the yard. We scared him away, though. And then Tony looked at Matt and said, is that true? And Matt said, yeah. Yeah. That's not what was true at all. Yeah. He's, of course, luck out. Right. He said. Where did he go? I said he went over top of the wood pile. There was a wood pile taller than the shed out bags, about eight feet tall. It butted up against the fence. He said he went over the wood pile. And he said, alright. I'm calling the cops. I went fuck. Oops. Fuck, man. But I wasn't backing out. At that point, there was nobody in the backyard. Yeah. Yeah. Call the cops, and the cops came. Shit. And the the the it was deputy sheriffs. And he said, what do you look like? And I said, he was big. He said, how how tall was he? He said he was taller than that wood pile. He said, that wood pile is about eight feet tall. I said, well, there you go. He's about eight feet tall. He said, so you're trying to tell me there's a guy in backyard. He says he's tall. Whoa. What color was he gonna say, oh, he was dark. What color was the skin? don't know. You look more like a shadow. You was dark. They were ready to go. What? He said, how did you get away? I said, he went over the fence. He said, he jumped defense. I said, no. He's fucking huge. He stepped over it. That makes all the sense. So did they go back or, like, fuck this patch? We got a way a whole basketball elevator, a back here, a tree light, back here. Did the cops Cobb. There is the fucking Dayton Police. He shares all these people there. They roll up. They're looking for this fucking mongol thunder, man. Giant eight feet tall. Yeah. The possible description on the nature of this branch. She's about eight feet tall and starts. Easy talk. Yeah. Can you write down witness thing? So fuck, I can't. He's bigger than the shit, but your ass, I can't. He's bigger than shit. He won't curse for print. Why you smelled you smell drunk? Oh, man. He had some cinnamon -- Drolly rands. -- slurry. And fireballs. We were gonna fuck each other. The in the woods. You guys messed it up. Oh, dude. And he said, what do you guys do? So there's guy breaking in. There's a guy There's a guy coming. He just he's bigger than the fucking he's bigger than the shit out back, man. He's huge. Gotta got him out of here. I'm calling the cops. Oh, man. I said Matt were fucking. He said it's alright, man. We'll ride this out. That's alright. Or die right there. Yeah, man. That's that's some good times. I'm a tell that story. If somebody's funeral, I don't know who's, but funny. Now I'm gonna get arrested. Yeah. Statual limitations have expired, guys. Falsifying police report. How tall was tall, Wazee. Here in that wood pile. So he's eight feet tall. There you go. Eight feet tall. Big fucker man. He's dark. He ran out of here. He jumped over here. He jumped over there really tall Woodbile and step just stepping over the fence. Stepping over the privacy fence. Oh, a privacy fence. Okay. He stepped over it. He didn't jump. He Andrei, the giant of that shit. He stepped over it. Oh, shit. That's good. Oh, man. Okay. I feel so bad for that. That's that's such a waste of police resources and for people over a ghost in heroin while they respond the Yeah. That's good. That's okay. This one's you. Is it me? Yeah. Okay. When I was about eighteen, I got a telephone call from a stream man. The phone in my room rang for you kids reading now, telephones used to actually be attached to walls. He didn't carry them around with you. I was one of those privileged few kids, my age, who not only had hidden had their own hidden phone, but also one number. Oh, their own had their own number. That's cool. And listed in the phone book and everything. I went in and answered it and he asked, is this Courtney Ballard? And I acknowledge that it was. Then he told me his name and a tone that implied he expected me to know who he was. I was clueless. He asked me again if I was me. And I had no choice but again to say yes. In fact, that blows me. He then said, I'm calling to make sure you're okay. You looked pretty shook up yesterday. At this point, I had to tell him I had no idea what he was talking about I had been fined the day before. He pressed on yesterday when you wrecked your car. I think I would fucking remember that. Sir, I I think you have the wrong number. This is Courtney Ballard. Right? Yes, sir. My name is Courtney Ballard, and you live in the name of my tiny town that I lived in? Yes, sir. That's me, but I didn't wreck any car yesterday. Over the course of a very confusing and uncontrollable fifteen minutes seem comfortable. Not comfortable. Sorry. Fucking idiot. Oh, sorry. That's okay. Big words. He proceeded to tell me about our meeting the day before. I had come around the corner in front of his house too fast, lost control, and hit a large oak tree in his front yard. I had been shaken up, but the car was drivable and I refused all offers of help. He managed to get me to reveal my name before I left, and I had told him that I was on my way to that small town but nothing else. Wow. Weird. Yeah. He described me, my size, my shape, my hair length, and color. He described my car, not the make and model, but the size, shaped color. At first, I thought it was a put on that a friend was pranking me, but the conversation progressed. The man's concern was convincing. He had been so worried about me that he'd looked me up and called me to make sure that I was okay. By the end of the conversation, I managed to convince him that I was okay. And I really didn't know anything about it. He had given me his name, address over the course of the call, and he had invited me to stop by some time. I hung up the phone, I was actually curious. I went outside and looked at my car. No damage. Just try to make sure you didn't fucking crash the car. No damage. Everything was just as I remembered it. I shook my head and walked back inside. A few days later, I was driving home and This phone call was echoing around in the back of my mind. I remember the man's name and what part of town he lived in. It wasn't that far off my route home I looked him up in the phone book, got his address, and headed that way. As I came around a sweeping bend in the road, I saw a house like the one that he had described. And the front yard was a large oak tree and there were marks in the grass where a car had recently left the road leading straight for the tree. And on the tree, paint that perfectly matched my car. I was so shaken that I almost ran off the road and into the tree. Dude, that's fucking crazy, man. Damn. And lots of it. Looks like a cliffhanger too. I wanna know what the fuck happens after that. I don't know. Man. That's a yeah. That's weird. That's really weird. There I got piece of candy in my mouth. No, man. It's cool. I'm just thinking about that, like, Person the same name, same description, ripple, And the a time. Yeah, man. Space time continuum. There was a wormhole something came through. I'm not saying, dude, oh, god. I gotta fucking talk about this for a second. Go forward, man. I was so spaced out the other night. No. I was so deep in my thoughts -- Mhmm. -- just really trying to work out some stuff mentally. And I wasn't distressed. I was just thinking about how small we are. I'd looked at a meme that showed the size of earth compared to some other stuff. Mhmm. Literally, earth gets to the point when you compare it next to other stuff that it gets so the earth gets so small on the screen that it's a manu of an at it's you can see in perceivable because that were compared to some some of these other Planets and stuff. I'm sorry. My throat's all messed up. Not problem. But then it starts to talk about how many other galaxies there are out they're aside from our galaxy and how small our galaxy is compared to some of these other galaxies and how And then I start to look up I had the question in my head, where does space end? It doesn't. It doesn't end, Robert. Yeah. It's ever growing. It fucking goes on forever. Yeah. It keeps going and it keeps going. It's infinite darkness and it gets bigger by the second. Bigger. And it gets so and it gets to the point where we don't know where the fuck is going what that's going on out there. Mhmm. It never is. Yes. We can only see so far. That means if you you start falling? You never stop. You're, like, falling in a hole and you say, I gotta damn, I can't wait till I get the bottom and I fucking die from this. It never ends. So what is out there? What what else is out there is a is a crazy part for me? We gotta run into something or someone sooner or later where they gotta be honest with us. Sure. It's I mean, that stuff like that's really scary if you think about it. Dude, I was so unterrifying. I was so was so uncomfortable. Yeah. I was I appears on my eyes for one. I was uncomfortable. Just thinking it goes on forever. There's no way that in terms of the shitting pull, We could be at the very bottom in terms of intelligence. There's there's so many other realms and galaxies and It's just never ending, but it's scary to think about what the fuck is out there, what these big bugs wanna come the fuck is up or what's equally as what is equally as scary as that there's this video that I always watch anytime that it comes across like my Facebook feed or something. And it's the one that tells like it compares how deep the ocean is with, like, things that, like, we've built. And, like, it'll like, she'll show, like, how far the deepest person dive, what a normal scuba diving is scoop. Like how the depths of normal scuba diving tank can go, how far where the Titanic is, and it just keeps fucking going, and it's like to the point to where you have biggest building in the world, which is the one in Abu Dhabi. If it was, like, upside down, it still doesn't even scratch the surface of the depths of the ocean. No. And it's it's going back to, like, even on early episode where you talked about it, the ocean is fucking terrifying. Like, it is. And just imagine how Imagine space. Oh, this is not even is not even comparable. No. No. The the Mariana trench. Yeah. The Mariana trench is the deepest part. Eleven okay. So thirty six thousand feet So they even said, like, Mount Everest can fit upside down and still not hit the bottom of the ocean floor something fucking stupid like that. Let's see this real quick. I'm trying to see feet to miles. Okay. Almost seven miles deep. Maybe it's part of the ocean. Seven miles. That's insane. That's so fucking deep. Take you fucking ten minutes to drive that car. Let's not eat the ocean is. That's going sixty miles an hour, man. It's colder to fucking well digger's ass down there. Oh, dude. Yeah. That's so cool, man. That's just here on Earth. Deep space. And that's what we know of it. It may even be deeper. There may be deeper parts than that. You could hit the Man, dude. That's crazy. You didn't get to China in with seven miles or less. Yeah. I would think so. Space is just e incomprehensible, man. Yeah. Depth and how vast it blows my mind. And it's just ever expanding. That's the thing that's crazy about it. I don't know. It just doesn't stop growing. I don't want in. Where are we going to take our plastic fucking and that shit in the are we gonna take our plastic fucking. In that shit, the space. That's where we have to take that shit. There's plenty of space -- Yeah. -- in space. Yes. That's where we're gonna take our plastic. Maybe that maybe that is the answer. Recycling. Yeah. We gotta take our plastic somewhere. There's lots of space junk. They say it. Tie it to a fucking balloon and launch it up there in space. The Elon Musk up with a twelve year old wakes up in the middle of the night and encounters intruder. Oh. When I was about twelve years old, I had a lot of issues with night terrors and rarely slept the whole night through. One night, I got up in the middle of the night to go to bathroom. I sat down half a sleep, so I was a girl. Cause I sat down and P or it was me thinking of nothing, but emptying my bladder and going back to girl because I sat down AP0 cruise me. Thank you. There's nothing but emptying my bladder and going back to bed. I do that sometimes after the, after, after sex pisses, I'm super do that sometimes after, like, you got the after after sex pisses. Well, I'm super tired. Sit down to piss and fall back to sleep. When I see movement out the corner of my eye, there was a man standing by the other door to the bathroom staring at me. Non noodle. He was wearing a tattered gray jumpsuit in a crutch. Fuck in little new hair. He held on the crutch. Truly sets it off. Yeah. That's scary. I don't remember how I got down into the basement where my parents slept, but suddenly there I was, hysterically screaming, My dad finally went up and looked in the bathroom and kitchen. He saw nothing, but allowed me to sleep on the couch down by the room anyway. I didn't fall back asleep. About an hour or so later, I heard the sliding door to the bathroom from my sister's room and limping footsteps. No. The next morning, my dad searched around and noticed that our fridge and our pantry had been raided, and we never caught the guy. Damn. He was just hungry. That's scary, man. don't like people in my house in the middle of the night. I don't know. But I'll smoke him. Man, that's yeah. That's that's not fun. Shock gun, right full Bazooka launcher. I got them I got them all. I got a fucking Fortnite arsenal in my closet. I'll tear the ass out of somebody. I'm waiting for somebody to taste my bazooka launcher, Robert. No. Been waiting long time. Well, that concludes our Stranger Danger episode. Which I will tell you one thing. This went many different directions. Lots of stories. Lots of stories fun. Your dad's butt. God rest his soul. Man, my dad's balls. I'm gonna talk about my dad's balls at all. We just did. You, Larry, just mentioned him, I'm gonna get arrested for the cop thing. I feel so bad for that. Yeah. That's okay. Really nice family, I think they'll forgive me. Like, we all did some shitty stuff when we were kids. Yeah. We did. That's okay. I threw rocks through people's windows and I ran away. Yeah. We used to like people's house this one fire. I did actually. I didn't see a trailer get burned up because someone threw I don't know if they threw a molotov. Talk to us. Talk they all They just lit a fucking porno bag on fire that was inside of Grand Theft Auto ship. Yeah. They legit birthed the whole trailer park down. We used to go egg on dude. That was that was our thing. We go egg on. We drive around downtown Dayton, and we wouldn't egg buildings. We would egg people on sidewalks. Oh, yeah. And we would go the bad part of town. Where's people's guns and there's people -- Yeah. -- guns and stuff. We would though be in burritos and people riding bikes. Be burritos. Dude, I was That's the most comfortable circle. I love them now. That's that's the closest I came to pissing myself or shitting myself from laughing. Think I did to get a couple of squirts of pisses and my pants are laughing so hard, being burrito. Oh, we got we got tariffs done by people, so we just stopped like, sticking them to the back of people's windows on their car. How many fucking bean burritos did you have did? I think it was what show and Ben. And I think we bought, like, twelve of them. We ate like three and then just opened the rest of them up and just like pancake to my We ate, like, three. And then just open the rest of them up and just, like, pancaked them at people. Hey. They're won't be cheap on that extra red sauce motherfucker. And that's a real dangerous shit. We would we would stay because we lived over by bunch of overpasses. And we would go down below the overpasses and just throw eggs at the cars on the highway. Good. Good. That's good. No. It's fucking awful. It is awful. So, man, it was only the semis. I'm the final police report after this. Oh, I was, like, fucking twelve. That's okay. It's all all good. It's all good. Alright, guys. Thanks for tuning tune into this episode. If you're driving down I seventy five going northbound through Dayton and he ever got hit by an egg. sorry. Two thousand two. And two thousand two. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Brad. It's okay. We love We love you. Nonetheless, love you. When we keep Idaho students in classrooms, they have better physical and mental health. Help keep the student you love in school by getting them vaccinated if they're eligible. Make sure they wear a mask, frequently wash their hands, and stay home and get tested. When sick our teachers and other school staff can also do their part by choosing to vaccinate, wearing a mask and supporting other preventive when sick. Our teachers and other school staff can also do their part by choosing to vaccinate, wearing a mask, and supporting other preventive measures. For more information on preventive measures, please visit coronavirus dot I hope dot gov or contact your child's school. For For the ones who get the ones who get going when they're going tough. And the ones who know we're tougher together for the Pathfinders breaking new ground Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry as well as fast access to experts and 24 7 customer support because we know you have people depending on and the ones who know were tougher together. For the path finders breaking new ground, Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry as well as fast access to experts and twenty four seven customer support. Because we know you have people depending on you. So you can always depend on so you can always depend on us. Call, click ranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it Call, click ringer dot com, or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done. Welcome back to holiday hits back to holiday hits radio. This next song goes out to a special This next song goes out to a special trio. TJ Maxx Marshall's and home TJ Maxx, Marshalls, and goods. Kate from Utah didn't know holiday magic was real until she met you from your always stocked gifts to your countless locations and great Kate from Utah didn't know holiday magic was real until she met you. From your always stocked gifts to your countless locations and great prices. You're making our holiday dreams come You're making our holiday dreams come true. Let's hear that song. Visit the it? TJ Maxx Marshall's and home goods for endless selection and great T. J. Maxx Marshalls and HomeGoods. For endless election and great prices. All season long, The lines are lighting all season long. The lines are lighting up. Captain, we've got a new bearing. Periscope, vacationers earning three times the points on the tour package with a PenFed Pathfinder rewards credit vacationers earning three times the points on a tour package. With a PenFed Pathfinder rewards credit card. Impossible, sir. They're civilians. Whether you're in uniform or not, PenFed's Pathfinder rewards card gives you three times the points for all not just flights, one and a half points for everything else. That will be great for my next be great for my next vacation. As soon as we're back from deployment, Penn Fed Credit Union visit penn Fed dot org slash path funder, cash advances, credit card checks, balance transfers are excluded from earning rewards to receive any advertised product that has become a member of PenFed and ensure by NCUA. For For the ones who get the ones who get going. When the going gets tough and the ones who know we're tougher together for the Pathfinders breaking new ground Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry as well as fast access to experts and 24 7 customer support because we know you have people depending on when the going gets tough, and the ones who know were tougher together for the path finders breaking new ground. Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry as well as fast access to experts and twenty four seven customer support because we know you have people depending on you. So you can always depend on so you can always depend on us. Call, click ranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it Call, click ranger dot com, or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done. Oh, M G your BFS birthday is here and you don't know what to get Your BFF's birthday is here and you don't know what to get her. No No worries. One 800 flowers.com has you covered 1-800-FLOWERS is the ultimate birthday gifting One eight hundred flowers dot com has he covered. One eight hundred flowers is the ultimate birthday gifting destination. For those who know it's not about giving a gift, it's about giving the gift, make every birthday brighter with exclusive offers and great values on gorgeous bouquets and arrangements to order today, visit one 800 flowers.com/ tune-in that's one 800 flowers.com/tune For those who know, it's not about giving a gift. It's about giving the gift. Make every birthday brighter with exclusive offers and great values on gorgeous lattes and arrangements. To order today, visit one eight hundred flowers dot com slash tune in. That's one eight hundred flowers dot com slash tune in. We've got a new bearing Periscope vacationers earning three times the points on a tour package with a PenFed Pathfinder rewards credit got a new bearing. Periscope vacationers earning three times the points on a tour package with the PenFed Pathfinder rewards credit card. Impossible, Sir, they're Civilians, whether you're in uniform or not Penn Fed's Pathfinder rewards card gives you three times the points for all travel, not just flights one and a half points for everything Impossible, sir, they're civilians. Whether you're in uniform or not, PenFed's Path Finder rewards card gives you three times the points for all travel, not just flights, one and a half points for everything else. That'll be great for my next else That'll be great for my next vacation. As soon as we're back from deployment, Penn Fed Credit Union visit penn Fed dot org slash path under, cash advances, credit card checks, and balance transfers are from earning rewards. Receive any advertised product if it's become a member of Penfolds or by NCUA. For the ones who get going, when the going gets tough, and the ones who know were tougher together for the path finders breaking new ground. Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry as well as fast access to experts and twenty four seven customer support because we know you have people depending on you, so you can always depend on us. Call, click ringer dot com, or just stop by. Ranger, for the ones who get it done. Cloud is powering tomorrow's transformative missions. Federal sees are partnering with SAIC to help them meet these critical moments where both moves require confident blueprints. Where you can accelerate transformation through consistency, where you can innovate forward and never look back. SAIC quickly and securely might great large scale workloads to cloud with the confidence you need to assure your mission. Learn more at SAIC dot com slash cloud. For the ones who get going when the going gets tough, and the ones who know were tougher together. For the Pathfinder's breaking new ground. Granger offers supplies and solutions for every industry as well as fast access to experts and twenty four seven customer support. Because we know you have people depending on you, so you can always depend on us. Call, click ringer dot com, or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done. Fall is the season of gathering that brings us together with warmth and color. So whether it's a birthday, anniversary, or a special event, Celebrate your friends and family with a gorgeous bouquet of roses from one hundred flowers dot com. One hundred flowers makes it easy to brighten someone's day with twenty four colored roses for just thirty nine ninety nine. To get twenty four multicolored roses for just thirty nine ninety nine, visit one eight hundred flowers dot com slash tune in. That's one eight hundred flowers dot com slash tune in.