Dannelle speaks with Laura Smothers-Chu, the CEO and Founder of Befriended Heart. In this episode, Laura shares her story of long-distance caregiving for her father after his dementia diagnosis. You’ll learn about ways to be a care partner more effectively from a distance and how caregiving from afar can give unique insight in the journey.  

Time Stamps: 

• 02:15 Laura’s 3 core values and how they connect to her caregiving experience 
• 05:18 How Laura’s father’s dementia diagnosis changed her personal and professional life 
• 09:47 Things that would have helped Laura better handle the challenges of long-distance caregiving 
• 12:06 Ideas for long distance caregiving to make planning ahead easier for everyone 
• 14:59 Laura’s experience “time traveling” with her Dad, in his dementia 
• 20:05 Laura’s recommendations for better understanding your loved one and their care partner. 
• 23:47 What makes long-distance caregiving unique 
• 25:04 Laura’s 5 big tips for long-distance caregiving 
• 27:24 Laura’s passions outside of caregiving 

“I feel like long distance caregivers, because we had that emotional disconnect, that can actually be a strength because we're able to see the big picture.” - Laura Smothers-Chu 

Takeaway Learnings:

1.     Long-distance caregiving can be an opportunity for long term care planning with a bird's eye view. Your role can give you perspective to map things out outside of the overwhelm of daily care activities, which is incredibly helpful to not only prepare for what’s next, but providepractical support for a primary, hands-on caregiver. 

2.     Long-distance caregiving doesn’t mean you’re separated from the hard emotional experience or logistical challenges. It requires resources and support, and you’re deserving of that, just as a caregiver in closer proximity is. 

3.     Patience with ourselves, other care partners, and the person we care for is key. We can expect each person to process this experience in ways that may look different from our own. 

Actionable Tips:

1.     Consider doing research to learn more about a diagnosis. This can help us be more informed in making care decisions, and to better prepare for what’s next. 

2.     Try to work your way to finding acceptance for a loved one’s diagnosis helps make room to be more emotionally present and supportive. 

3.     Practice self-compassion. Regardless of the messages we may have internalized that say otherwise, it is a gift we can give to ourselves. We may need to remind ourselves that we’re doing the best we can. 

About Laura Smothers-Chu:

Laura is the CEO and founder of Befriended Heart. In her work, she guides long distance caregivers managing dementia care from the early through late stages. 

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