0:00

It's fucking cold out there. Is

0:02

it really? It wasn't. It was nicer in Jersey than

0:04

it is up here. It sucks up here. Yeah,

0:07

it was fucking. It's

0:09

been cold today, Jack. But

0:13

I fell asleep outside today for a little while. Oh,

0:16

yeah. On your porch. Yeah, this

0:19

is the second time in like four days. Yeah,

0:22

that was out there waiting for the weed guy to come. He

0:25

told me we had three thirty. I

0:28

went out there about a quarter to three because it was beautiful.

0:30

I fucking thought you're right. And

0:33

I really I did a

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It's over Just

4:27

to give up the world you gotta be What

4:50

up move On Tuesday

4:53

February the 6th. He'll look at us Looking

4:56

good. I got some Sun this

4:58

weekend. I know you were

5:00

saying you got the fucking balcony tremendous

5:04

That that's like a real good. What do you what were

5:06

you in like a chair or like I do you don't

5:08

have a hammock Do you you know? I got a hammock, but

5:10

I got stuck in there two years ago. So I don't

5:13

What do you mean you got stuck in the hair? Oh,

5:15

I thought I was being fucking cute I went out there

5:18

one day was a beautiful day. I Laid

5:20

my wife's like we got a hammock now So I went

5:22

out there got on the hammock the problem

5:24

was I couldn't get out of there I mean I

5:26

was fucking I got into the middle of

5:29

the hammock. I couldn't get out. I have to yell for her

5:31

She had to come out with mercy. They had to save me It

5:34

was fucking tremendous. So I don't get it

5:37

no more. I got two rock rocking chairs

5:39

in the front of the house Yeah, and

5:41

I'll just sit out there and me and my wife will

5:44

talk will drink fucking iced tea out there talk shit for

5:46

hours It's fucking

5:48

great to have it really is everybody

5:50

on my blocks is we all wanted

5:52

that house Because it got so

5:54

much Sun in the front, you know. Oh,

5:56

yeah It's great to have a

5:58

little place to hang out out or

6:01

just do something. I don't like doing a

6:03

lot outdoors, but just be outdoors, smoke

6:06

a joint or even just like you said,

6:08

just relax is nice. I'll

6:11

tell you, you go to my backyard, it's fucking anotic

6:13

and back there. It's

6:15

fucking freezing. And

6:17

it's freezing in my backyard

6:20

in comparison to the front of the

6:22

house, it's always getting beat up by

6:25

sun. There ain't a fucking, there ain't a

6:27

strand of sunlight. It covers

6:29

the grass and stuff, but under the balcony,

6:31

under the kitchen, under

6:33

there, you step out there, you fucking

6:35

freeze to death. You know, you were wearing a

6:37

winter coat when I came over on Saturday night.

6:41

Oh yeah. Saturday bro. Once the sun

6:43

goes down, it's

6:45

all over the shop. It's a different fucking, and

6:47

it was, it was cool this weekend. It was

6:49

warm. You had a nice warm

6:51

weekend. It's getting cold now at night, like a

6:53

drop. And you know

6:55

what bothers me the most about all this chitchat?

6:58

What? That I grew up in this

7:00

fucking weather. I walked miles

7:02

in this weather. I drank beers in this

7:04

weather. You know, I remember falling

7:06

asleep on a Quaalude one night in the

7:08

coldest night in January and still

7:11

having fingers the next day with no gloves on. And

7:15

it's crazy how I go out now for two

7:17

minutes and I'm fucking, it

7:20

baffles me that I lived in Aspen.

7:22

I skied. I fell

7:24

on wet snow. I fell, you know, and

7:27

I go outside. I can't even go to a cold pool.

7:30

No, it just bothers the shit out of

7:32

me. Cause you're not used to

7:34

like the cold anymore after all, like 30 years

7:36

in LA, whatever it was. Oh no, what the

7:39

fuck happened, man? My bones just got warmed up.

7:42

I go to a crowd therapy place. I do

7:44

the red lights on. I have not yet to

7:46

fucking go in that freezer. And

7:48

I need it all the time in LA. Didn't you? Yeah,

7:50

because it's 80 degrees out. So it's like

7:53

fucking heaven in those things. But

7:55

when it's only warm six months of the

7:57

year and it's fucking, you Know,

7:59

it just. It's grip on we change our well.

8:02

We. Will not be. I wasn't

8:04

in in ah the Jersey for that long, but

8:06

even in the city. I. Like I

8:09

would look out actors. I had a sweatshirt and

8:11

jacket. I was sweating on the trail you was.

8:14

It would like Zola. I got it like I

8:16

think the like twenty thousand steps I bet you

8:19

did one day he was just or even. If

8:22

it was fucking awesome but it. I was surprised

8:24

to be sweating and and. I guess

8:26

was February but it was a. Every

8:28

time I go. I just. I love

8:31

New York more. It was

8:33

how to do math. New York is cool. I

8:35

gotta go into this for your mom. Oh

8:37

yeah, I'll get an exam, the do

8:39

a podcast. Talk to some boys on

8:41

the star Gone in maybe Wednesday night?

8:44

My. Friends doing a show in the city

8:46

you know, bowlen. Interesting things happen, manner

8:48

hate. I did not listen. I.

8:51

Don't know what's going on. I know that fucking. America's.

8:54

Bomb In the hutus are some like that that.

8:57

Yeah. But.

9:00

Also read this morning that. And.

9:02

I think this is great. Dick.

9:04

Cheney Gillis is also say that

9:07

like yeah. You. Know

9:09

it's funny that when they fire him

9:11

before the pandemic right the beginning of

9:13

the band Them and Nineteen Twenty Nineteen

9:15

Angeles a year and it was. Over.

9:18

A podcast he did. Ways.

9:20

Has some racial stuff about amazing

9:22

people you know? And

9:25

they got rid of I'm in. Look what he

9:27

did. He didn't fucking. Die

9:29

he rose to the top. Vienna.

9:33

And whatever cancelling means

9:35

or. Whatever. Any

9:37

that stuff is. When

9:39

the cream rises, you're not going to stop

9:41

with a cancellation unless you in a little

9:44

lady and than and raped or, yeah, I

9:46

bet. Admin type

9:48

of the best in a god

9:50

either an air with a hammer,

9:52

your rapists but. I

9:55

mean you know somebody who's some

9:57

these cancellations have been fucking weird.

10:01

But. His cancellation was early

10:03

on. It

10:05

was for some me at Salon A Pied Gas. Which.

10:09

Listen, if you look up those traits podcast

10:11

I said a lot of bad stuff on

10:13

have been cast okay and some of the

10:15

stuff I'm not proud of and if you

10:17

look at it you go. What?

10:20

Made me say. Okay, I'm

10:22

in the moment. I'm flowers. And.

10:25

You happiness some slip satisfy my

10:27

that anybody who knows me knows

10:29

of my intentions were. And.

10:32

When you don't a podcast in two

10:34

thousand and nineteen and maybe the podcast

10:36

was a year old is something I

10:38

don't know. You

10:40

know, things change very quickly. And.

10:43

People one on board got thrown off

10:45

would for no reason but these people

10:47

in give up. You. Know

10:49

this: I can maintain comics that

10:52

including myself that they tried to

10:54

j them off, but you're not

10:56

doing nothing to me because. Hard.

10:59

Work. Is.

11:01

More than your fucking stupid critique

11:04

of something I said years ago.

11:07

Rice. Left to pick with somebody has to

11:09

pick a scab. From. Years

11:11

ago. A: It's not good. A

11:14

flat. And. Or of these

11:16

ah these on made a video I think

11:18

lose our gamez between it it went like everyone

11:20

who taught not everyone but it's a lot

11:22

of a big people who talk shit about same.

11:25

Flight. Was like the headlines

11:27

and like now like they got fired or

11:30

laid off work there anymore or like their

11:32

shell failed. And action is

11:34

that. It is how it's an honor of

11:36

you. Saw this I go within like last

11:38

two weeks on lights and him to. Sort.

11:42

Like and last week or two advil my

11:44

to the biggest things the whole. World

11:47

want to work with them. And.

11:50

That glitz of didn't go away. Listen.

11:54

Man, redemption is. It's.

11:57

a great feeling and

12:00

you did something and it was a mistake and

12:02

some people lost their fucking panties over it

12:05

for no reason whatsoever. It had nothing to

12:08

do with them or whatever. And

12:11

then you come back

12:13

and go, listen, I'm back bitches. And

12:16

I got my thumb on you because I know all

12:18

the motherfuckers that talk shit. So

12:21

now you gotta bring me water and

12:23

coffee and massage my toes. And

12:26

then you got the other Chinese kid outside of their life he

12:30

distances himself away from everybody.

12:33

Last week it was Hailey, the

12:35

week before was fucking somebody

12:38

else's on the show and he didn't wanna be close

12:40

to them. Who

12:42

the fuck do people think they are anymore? Well,

12:46

and I mean, when

12:49

you compare like podcasting the standup, like when you're

12:51

on stage, all

12:53

your brain is thinking about is like, say something

12:56

funny. So like when you

12:58

first started stand the podcast, I

13:00

mean, was it like similar? Like it's not like you're

13:02

thinking of like, oh, is this a hundred percent accurate

13:04

or oh, is this what I believe in?

13:07

Like when you were starting the podcast, you were just

13:09

like, is this funny? Like that's what I imagine happens.

13:14

My first three months of

13:16

podcasting was like everybody else. You

13:20

don't even know what you're doing. You

13:23

got no idea what you're doing. You

13:26

got somebody who you thought would be a good

13:28

guest and

13:30

you did the best you could. Sometimes

13:32

you got conversations. I

13:35

enjoyed podcasting from 2010 to 2019 when

13:40

we got out of that office. Well, the

13:42

last six months in the office were rough, but

13:46

it was really an enjoyment because

13:49

you get to talk and tell your truths and

13:52

talk about your life and whatever. And

13:56

then, it was great. I

13:58

mean, for both sides, because we

14:01

were just learning.

14:05

Everybody was just fucking learning. And

14:10

then five years later, the podcast police

14:12

comes out. Yeah,

14:15

and they're fucking talking shit. And

14:18

it was, listen, man, the

14:20

podcast police of people who just

14:22

wanna be Rogan and they

14:24

can't figure it out. It's very sad what it's

14:27

become. I can't imagine what's

14:29

coming down his way now with

14:32

the second deal from Spotify. But

14:36

God bless him. God bless him. He

14:38

opened up a new range. This

14:41

was a great thing

14:44

podcasting. Not everybody's doing it. It's

14:47

taking the thrill away, the

14:49

dangerousness. I

14:52

enjoyed podcasting because it was very dangerous. Like you

14:54

could just, one minute we would talk and the

14:56

next minute we're doing a hit of acid. We're

15:01

talking to a hooker and a pimp from

15:03

fucking Nevada. I mean,

15:06

it was just for real. But

15:09

then like, again, it's like everything else. The

15:11

podcast police came out and oh, you

15:15

said it's dirty, this and it's like,

15:17

they never understood what this was really

15:19

about. It's just

15:21

two fucking, three, four people talking

15:23

for an hour as

15:25

a form of entertainment. Some

15:27

people are better than others. You

15:30

know, it's so funny. I did that podcast,

15:32

I don't know, 90 days with

15:35

Felicia. Okay. And

15:38

we were kind of scratching the surface. We were doing

15:40

this, we were doing that. To

15:44

this day, I still remember when it happened.

15:47

And I just said, did I ever

15:49

tell you about the hooker I mugged? And

15:53

I still remember she had the

15:55

microphone blocks that

15:58

You can't spit on the mic. And.

16:00

At one point at the time the story

16:03

I looked from behind the mike. And

16:06

she was. Fuck it blows the fuck

16:08

away. Like. Her face was

16:10

like. And.

16:12

That was the day I knew that I

16:14

did a Cat Williams when Cat Wings talked

16:16

about Michael Jackson. And. He

16:19

got the room crazy, right? That's the

16:21

same thing I did that and I

16:23

like it. I told

16:25

a story that I knew. What?

16:28

He to kill me. Or. Fucking

16:30

save me. And

16:32

it saved me. And

16:35

I think. Are getting back. I

16:37

wasn't like same and stuff isn't that like. Kind.

16:40

of a goal like eats? Yeah, didn't.

16:43

Even even if like you are gonna send

16:45

some people it's only going us and i

16:47

get when you get cancelled. It. Only

16:49

shows more people who think you the way you do,

16:51

who you are. Like. That as

16:53

an hour. I don't know saying I'm never said one

16:55

word to my entire life, but I would imagine. That.

16:58

Acid. Nothing has helped. It

17:01

did he put out especially you to.

17:04

He. Was the first guy to hit like a million

17:06

in like a fucking day. In

17:08

and he took chances.

17:12

Because. He had not the loose. And

17:15

about in really ride him for

17:17

being a racist or anything you

17:19

know you don't. The trump impression

17:21

and I think that all fucking

17:23

got rolled up into one but

17:25

Shades of Grey comic. He's.

17:29

right? Now he is really happening.

17:32

Again, young guys. I mean, I really like what

17:34

he's doing. He's

17:36

a fun guy. He loves to fuck and

17:38

drink and party. You. Know

17:40

he's gonna would rogan having a great time and

17:42

asked during the week. And

17:45

that's a spot a lotta young comics want

17:47

to be at. You. Know,

17:49

I mean I had. I know you

17:51

look at that going. Wow. I wish

17:53

I could do this. And ten, Fifteen

17:55

twelve, You know? and

17:57

you never know leave it's all up to you

18:00

You're your biggest fucking enemy. You

18:02

know, it's like shadow box. When

18:04

you watch Creed and he tells the kid the

18:07

shadow box, he goes, this is going to

18:09

be a toughest opponent. That guy controls it all, you know?

18:14

And it's really, it's the truth. You

18:17

know, I was telling you on the phone

18:19

that Saturday when you came here after

18:21

the dojo with comedy and we got

18:23

fucked up. Oh, yeah. I

18:25

got some more of these guvies here. All right.

18:29

Can you at least tell

18:31

me how much those really

18:33

are now? First off, I

18:37

found out to my,

18:40

because I went on their website, Delta 9. Okay.

18:46

I had 25 servings. I

18:49

had 25 servings. You

18:55

know, with Delta 9, I can't really tell.

18:58

It said CBD, CBD per serving

19:01

less than 10 THC

19:03

per serving 25

19:06

milligrams. Okay. Well, and

19:08

how much was the ABX that I had? Who

19:12

knows? They're in a box. Yeah. Exactly.

19:15

I mean, those mixed 50s, 100s, 25s. Yeah.

19:20

Okay. Every time you stick your

19:22

hand in there, you got a different fucking surprise. That's

19:24

not what you said up until right now. No,

19:26

I told you it was a 50 because the

19:29

angrier ones, this was the last

19:31

night. I think I had two

19:33

more 50s left. Oh, of course you

19:35

do. I thought that night because you said you were going to eat

19:38

another 50. But then

19:40

you ate the two mushroom caps. Yeah.

19:44

Well, those mushrooms are fire. Yes, they are.

19:48

Holy shit. Yes, they are. I thought I

19:50

fucking had like a real long talk with

19:52

my I was I fell asleep in the

19:54

bathroom a couple of times. I Just like

19:56

weaned. The

20:00

nine be a be action, The mushroom gaps.

20:03

You didn't know with you will come and

20:05

gone. It was like me when I did

20:07

rogan between them to chewing tobacco. the whiskey,

20:09

the reefer in the fucking smelling salts. I'm

20:12

on a different fuck eleventh. A

20:15

different time zone. You know, saying you don't even know

20:17

it then? but when you leave their. And

20:20

wake up the next Bought a guy. yeah was

20:22

fucked up as I'm still fucked up now. That's

20:26

because you are not and training either

20:28

way. know intense rains or that. Yes

20:30

you can Now you can see a great

20:32

now the Russians copies sat me down the

20:34

said bring me to a leader. Who.

20:37

Will give you a t A see I got him for two

20:39

days. First. But

20:42

yeah even if you wanted to give them he probably

20:44

take the free animals like but no one's have no

20:46

rush is never going to do that. Why?

20:49

Would they did not kill you? Why the what

20:51

are they getting into edibles world that of it's

20:53

always nice when but be banned the who cheese

20:55

over than those. Lists. Allows

20:57

him to hoodies. If. You gave us

20:59

all to an animal. They freak out

21:02

what they've never had an edible before. I would

21:04

have come in and base taiwan and you gotta

21:06

go over there and you if if if it

21:08

gives you said now a bagger would. You.

21:10

Not going to do it people shoot

21:12

missiles he should get not as that's

21:15

why you always in training. Ah longs

21:17

poppy seed like to help and up

21:19

with for a be exes. I

21:22

just want someone that are like I got

21:24

time for the think I would get ready

21:26

for my brother Li I just stuck my

21:28

hand. If one came out boot, they can

21:30

be four hundred milligrams. They could be eight

21:32

hundred milligrams. But.

21:34

Wouldn't you like to? No. Not

21:36

really what he wanted to be. Wants

21:39

to know what? What is it? How's

21:41

it going to change? Your nobody wants

21:43

to lot to be anywhere from two

21:45

hundred eight hundred that they just stare

21:47

at a for the mornings. With.

21:49

The lights on and stairs. you got

21:51

a bag of popcorn all over the

21:53

floyd drop with bugs. yeah. The.

21:55

Zebra with I tell ya readily to is

21:57

only two hundred milligrams gonna make you feel.

22:00

Well. I made me feel better,

22:02

but I'll explain himself as can people on the

22:04

train. To.

22:06

Different people moved away from me. To

22:12

and people like mad kids and that

22:14

you will ever more hours. Why

22:16

were we doing? Well I

22:18

got the tubes and I was on the nicer train

22:20

like the A seller. For. The first time

22:22

which was great I don't remember my son. I

22:24

get them to have a week's worth of clothes.

22:27

I was pulling the suitcase up and tall guy

22:29

had to help me those. also. fun tub or

22:31

think of the maybe well even made it on

22:33

the train by the way I put it up

22:36

as a few exceeding visit balloting all my shit

22:38

often. He does like. Turned around and

22:40

found another one but then i got busy and

22:42

like to the got on and jersey we got

22:44

to Manhattan. And. They do that next to me

22:46

like. A. Stop is. And then when I

22:48

went up to use the bathroom I came back

22:50

he was gone. I. Use either. Via

22:53

good night, we didn't get to another

22:55

stop. So. He dembele uses the

22:57

put it out of the blame of

22:59

an eyedropper train. But. I

23:01

was a distance I couldn't stop eating.

23:03

I got and cheese plate on the

23:06

fucking train. I

23:09

couldn't vote oh my God. I couldn't

23:11

stop. With the grapes in the peanuts

23:13

is rising because never will be three

23:15

with three arms and on what I'm

23:18

going. To

23:20

be homage to the great much abuse visa

23:22

and be with the good A Good Good

23:24

Good good Omen Adam. Yeah,

23:27

it was good he hadn't there was give you one

23:29

crack. had to like. They. Did

23:31

my own is like dog.

23:34

Cook. It.the fucking cracker. Get me to the

23:36

was to crack down. There.

23:39

Is always a one piece of cheese. It's

23:41

disgusting. The. Going to eat as your

23:43

hi it's a yellow cat. Read

23:46

this book and to break the without A fucking

23:48

Greg that. Didn't exist.

23:50

They went to the end. yeah like

23:52

loose was a little good of and

23:55

then they give me to crack is

23:57

three elements. and a grape them

23:59

supposed before and tip top would go get the

24:01

fuck on the back and get the rest of that

24:03

cheese board. Let's cut this motherfucker up, Jack. Jesus.

24:06

And I didn't prepare for it because

24:08

I didn't honestly, I didn't think I was going to

24:10

see you Saturday night because like, Oh, it's going to

24:12

be, I'm not going to get back to midnight. I

24:14

called you and you're like, every Saturday at midnight. I,

24:17

and I remember when I got, it was great and

24:19

we took it and you're like, listen, I gotta go

24:21

to sleep and you got to get home before this

24:23

stuff starts to kick in. And I

24:26

honestly think that mushrooms might be somehow

24:28

connected to the universe because they did

24:30

wait until I got back to my

24:33

hotel. But I also, I never

24:35

hit every green. I hit every

24:37

green on the way home

24:40

from the hotel to the hotel, every

24:42

green. And then there's something about New

24:44

Jersey that I, I'm like, it's not

24:46

like a highway, but an in between

24:48

highway. When you're coming in from like

24:51

the side streets, they don't have

24:53

ramps. It's just like you got to take a right from

24:55

a stop sign on to like basically a highway people

24:57

doing 60. And

25:00

when you're a little bit stoned, that

25:02

shit's terrifying. And

25:04

luckily there was no one there. It was

25:07

fucking looking at what you're looking at. Oh

25:11

my God. Yeah. I

25:13

barely made it. I barely made

25:15

it to your house. Like I didn't, I, I, I, I, I never leave packing

25:17

to the left. I

25:24

was going to say, just take the four 30, relax it

25:26

back, watch some tennis, you know, cause

25:33

you don't even know what you want when you wake

25:35

up. You go out. Yeah. You just missed the Superbowl.

25:37

Really? Oh

25:39

yeah. I had no idea. I

25:42

couldn't even watch it. Like people, I think,

25:44

I think they were scared because on the

25:46

train, I like, I couldn't even handle looking

25:48

at my phone. Like I just sort of,

25:50

but I wasn't like, you can't really sleep

25:52

on the train because like they're moving and

25:54

talking. So I was just standing on the

25:56

train. Two mushrooms.

26:00

What's up first of all you just admitted that

26:02

it was between 75 and

26:04

no 400 But

26:08

you say that but I am is 200 I

26:11

got a hundred but not many left because you ate

26:13

them all and I had some 50s and

26:15

I threw them in the bunch So they

26:18

had to be 10 50s in there May

26:20

be between 75 and 125. No, you wait 50. Yeah, you ate 75 125

26:28

that ain't enough to end and 25 And

26:31

then those mushrooms are Joe. You don't know

26:33

what's in those caps I've never had just

26:35

two caps by the way, I get

26:37

no credit from you. I ate those with not

26:39

no not one problem To

26:45

get the airplane back I saw

26:47

you chewing and fucking stuttering and you choose and shit

26:49

But did I did I puke I didn't even gather

26:51

one for you now, you didn't puke Yeah,

26:54

you wanted me honey. That was full THC

26:56

or no mushrooms or something. It was a

26:58

gram of mushrooms It's the

27:00

same people, you know fun

27:03

factories I'm sure them I'm

27:05

sure it's great taste great and helps but

27:07

I'm not adding more mushrooms to my mushrooms

27:10

What's a gram on two caps? What's it

27:12

gonna do to you? Again? What do you

27:14

mean? What's it gonna do? How's

27:17

it gonna deter you from your mission? That's

27:19

what I'm saying. I Don't

27:21

want to know why I ask questions Because

27:24

you have to know what you're taking When

27:27

I'm my friend used to go to those satanic

27:29

rituals, they just give you something And

27:32

you take it they give you something to drink you drink

27:34

it You see the devil and you

27:36

go home. Are you going to say tannic rituals?

27:38

Like that's not a good example of you Not

27:41

me our friend. I'll tell you I know that

27:43

I know not you I hope not you but

27:47

You can't like you're using that as an excuse of why

27:49

you don't ask Because don't ask

27:51

what do you want to know? What's

27:54

a dip between 10 milligrams and 50 if I

27:56

give it to you a lot? For

27:59

people. Lastly, yeah I thought the people

28:02

every week now about this is

28:04

Greg. You go from ten to

28:06

fifty. That's a goal from. We're

28:08

losing five pounds. Delisting. Three hundred

28:10

pounds. Yes,

28:13

No. Yes,

28:18

no you a lift him away Scot says no

28:20

not but I'm also not eating of what do

28:22

you do I have a lot of experience in

28:24

this my edibles and not knowing what to do

28:26

in the package. And

28:28

you still here. I am still here. and the

28:31

matter? Your fucking soldier of one. I'm not saying

28:33

I'm gonna die, but I'm going to the sands

28:35

of the Up Enough. Ill.

28:37

When you complain about. Nord. Complaining.

28:40

I'm just numbers as I went to then

28:42

you. Probably need to

28:44

know everything. How much time for playing? Get their

28:46

what's the size of the engine? You know how

28:49

many people think the back? What if, What if,

28:51

what it? What if you shut the fuck up.

28:54

Yeah, I and my new businesses gray. that.

28:58

No one a known that. Chino

29:00

given you would be honest. but the point

29:03

anyway with the referees read: dodge. Of

29:05

be on a plane with the fucking King

29:07

of England. With. His little prostate

29:09

cancer flying around the fucking world. Speaking.

29:13

Of that. I. Haven't even got to tell

29:15

you this yet. I don't know

29:17

what it is about me. But. I

29:19

picked the wrong doctor. He's

29:21

a nice guy. But. I think I

29:24

have to find a new doctor. A.

29:27

Few such a thing of us know.

29:30

I went there is a very nice guy.

29:33

He's. Missing a tooth. He's missing the front tooth.

29:38

He's. An hour that's a divisive for

29:40

that as have ended with balance to

29:42

the end of kids I tried to

29:44

keep a straight face and he was

29:46

a very an unseemly know what he's

29:48

talking about, what he's just that that

29:50

to the interesting to see removing like

29:52

the very front and then. You.

29:55

Brought like he at whenever I tell people what

29:57

do you do side I'd have been maybe to

29:59

me. To stop people you're trying to be

30:01

a car much I try to let me know

30:03

make smile on don't bring that up no more

30:06

I'm not going to feel he started. He started

30:08

to tell me his own jokes yeah gonna like.

30:10

He drops the he dropped retarded. He just.

30:13

A in the middle of like getting

30:15

my miles. Really

30:18

give us a more jokes. a little off cause

30:20

I'll look at what am I gonna say. I

30:22

didn't and mind but it's also not something I

30:24

eggs like am used to hearing my doctor say.

30:28

Are you fucking crazy? Is

30:31

he a good dancer? You misma tude? Listen,

30:34

For. Some reason you always not a big

30:36

one is whether with.is ah I mean how

30:38

much of the know what a lie and.

30:41

You. Know you always gotta by the

30:43

way you the got a chicken wings

30:45

of the could be said cause it's

30:47

so young and fingers analysis good follow

30:49

the best my night. I've has

30:52

even worse chicken fingers and a

30:54

fifty cent God to. Postpone.

30:56

Very racist. Or

30:58

anything. I don't think the menu I

31:00

just ordered it lad the avocado toast

31:03

with the Ram Avocado toast. In Connecticut.

31:07

Out on the woods entirely I thought it would

31:10

a missing fuck into. Yeah,

31:12

why didn't he said he took the blood

31:14

out today. He. Jumps you've

31:16

already at it if he he checked

31:18

my miles my my surprisingly my blood

31:20

pressure was okay I was for the

31:22

about that. I'm. Into.

31:25

The blood is gonna go in our we're going

31:27

to me. But. I don't know if I can

31:29

go back. A massive quite did

31:31

you go to one those quick centers Now I

31:33

went to all a that. Like. To

31:35

think less of them. Have ever malaga haven't I

31:38

have insurance? As you I

31:40

went to like an asshole doctor and ones like

31:42

adopt a website. Since. I find like

31:44

the reviews and he had all five star

31:46

reviews to hit the the I'm A Picture

31:48

of. A did what he had

31:50

the to that point they always try

31:52

to immediately. Ultimately I got to have

31:55

his by my doctor shows up with

31:57

a missing tooth. Added doc to the

31:59

coke addict. The was a great but.the

32:01

i's just have been dormant city at

32:03

night. A be cooked up as I

32:05

was this. Witness

32:09

to your doctor wasn't eight? Was it

32:11

your child's a doctor like another Now

32:13

my childhood.the all away the like. I

32:15

went to Colorado. Ah ah,

32:17

he was my doctor. Tiny five.

32:20

I was trade the May both the steroids.

32:22

At. The ads. For a prescription

32:24

the van of off my friends and I get them

32:27

to give me in a ball. I give it a

32:29

dark that. But.

32:32

The we're still going to him as like a

32:34

natural patient or was he just against our i

32:36

was going to him as a patient but I

32:38

also month until midnight and talk to. And.

32:41

I said my friends needed steroids. he goes

32:43

com um I. Didn't. Make

32:45

you nervous, get like a shot from him as he's on

32:47

folk. Always. So.

32:50

Maybe that's why you're afraid of needles. One

32:52

time he shot me with coke. And I was

32:55

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35:38

like hairpiece I when I was

35:40

I guess if if. I

35:43

didn't. I. Moved to New Jersey when I

35:45

was ten. I'd I'd be three.

35:48

But. Before that lived on a a street. And

35:50

I still remember being. Let's.

35:53

Say six? Okay,

35:56

and that's when doctors used to

35:58

make house calls. The.

36:00

Thirty five he embarks. They.

36:02

Will have your house because my friends

36:04

used to make house calls say get

36:06

a doctor's know and then go back

36:08

to school. When. I was grown

36:10

up enough doctors know for everything. If.

36:13

You played hooky. The doctor's Note:

36:15

so doctors note for big: they

36:17

were flat twenty five. If

36:20

the doctor came to our to write it was

36:22

dirty fi. And. Sent them

36:24

that A complete different and I'm just

36:26

trying to educate the fucking audience. So

36:33

why. He.

36:36

Would come over I know I name was

36:38

all end up. Dot. The

36:40

da bali. And

36:42

I still mmm com an old enough stick

36:44

in the fucking. To

36:46

mom and under my done and

36:48

then check in my lungs. None.

36:51

Taken his glasses off and going all

36:53

somebody else. Aperture

36:55

this is was going on. I'll.

36:58

Give you a shot and. It'll

37:00

be over by the mom. And. Right as

37:02

now with start at a want to show. And

37:05

my mother was to shut the fuck up.

37:07

You get the shy how want to shot

37:09

a man it's gonna hurt at a want

37:11

to show is going to hurts and that's

37:13

where which I would just say it's gonna

37:15

hurt and Spanish all went over. May wanna

37:17

live. May. While A is

37:20

my idol, a limited run

37:22

homer like a fucking Cuba's

37:24

reed.so. I

37:26

would say don't want to go outside the ten minutes Let

37:29

me take a bath. And

37:32

they would go out and the my mother would often

37:34

sunday a beer. And

37:36

then my stepfather would be there with these

37:38

fucking idiots or another friend and a be

37:40

out there drinking he come back for guy

37:42

half hour later. Are

37:44

you ready for the drink? Now At

37:47

this age I already knew my my

37:49

parents would do something creepy. the

37:51

most the bathroom put in sydney knows

37:53

that up her friends i knew something

37:56

was going up with that shooting and

37:58

else i just didn't know it was.

38:01

And then when he would tell me I'm going to

38:03

come back in 20 minutes and he wouldn't come out,

38:05

I'd go out to the living room to see what

38:07

was going on. And obviously there'd be a piece of

38:09

aluminum foil out in the table and

38:12

Orlando would be doing bumps with my mom

38:14

and Nelson and fucking, you know, and

38:17

next thing you know, he'd come into the room all fucking banged

38:19

up and they'd have to give me a shot. Two

38:21

hours later, he was hammered and

38:23

I'd sit there and my mom would hold me down. Nelson,

38:26

you know, the guy who was a partner at

38:28

the dry cleaner, my stepfather would grab one leg

38:31

and they'd shoot me in the ass and then he'd leave

38:33

my mom a penicillin bottle

38:35

and a syringe. And

38:38

then the next day my mom would shoot me. So

38:41

I'd be walking around for a week with two purple

38:44

fucking ass cheeks, one on

38:46

the right and one on the left. I

38:49

knew that guy forever. And it

38:52

ended bad because he had a son

38:54

my age who was stealing his prescription.

38:57

Okay. Take him to disc attacks and he

39:00

lost his license. I spoke to him maybe

39:02

15 years ago. He was in

39:04

Miami at a bar with a friend who

39:06

I hadn't spoken to in a year. This guy, I think he's

39:09

dead. But what

39:11

are you going to fucking do? But

39:14

anyway, that night Saturday, I

39:16

always felt very disappointed because you were

39:19

playing the goju, the doju of comedy.

39:23

From what I hear, it's a great club. You liked

39:25

it. It was fantastic. Matt,

39:27

whatever his name was, Brenner

39:29

was at bananas and

39:31

he had invited me up. And I could

39:34

have gone up there on Friday and gone to hang

39:36

out with you Saturday. But I was like, it's

39:38

Lee's first time featuring there. If

39:41

I go there, they're going to want me to go up. I'm

39:44

not going to ruin, let Lee have

39:46

his fucking night. And then Thompson

39:48

grill was Atlantic city. I could have gone down there

39:51

and done 10 minutes in front of 2000 people,

39:53

but I opted to go to black

39:55

Betty's in fucking New

39:58

Jersey. I

40:00

didn't know is the strip club was in the

40:02

basement. It's a strip, it's a strip bar. Comedy

40:06

room was in the basement. It seats like

40:08

20 people, maybe 20 people

40:10

could stand. I didn't

40:12

know this, I'd never been there. I

40:14

had never known Black Betty existed. I

40:17

went there a couple Thursdays ago, because they have

40:19

an open mic on Thursday. And

40:22

I was kind of scared. I pulled into the parking lot,

40:24

I tried off the fucking 9-0. I

40:26

pulled into the parking lot, I saw a rat run

40:29

across, I kept

40:31

thinking about that ACBC song, Night Prowler. A

40:33

rat runs down in LA, and

40:36

a chill comes down your spine.

40:39

I'm like, you know what? I ain't going

40:41

in there. And I remember my car address, I went

40:43

and I didn't see any comics, because

40:46

it's downstairs. Oh,

40:49

that place gone in there. So you

40:51

don't even have to walk to the strip club. So

40:53

I didn't know if I was going for sure. I

40:56

knew I wanted to get out of the house Saturday night. I

41:02

couldn't get out Thursday night, they canceled the show in Point

41:05

Pleasant. I couldn't do anything Friday night.

41:08

I had my daughter. And

41:10

then Saturday, I said, fuck it, I gotta do

41:12

something. Dan Florentine, Uncle

41:14

Dan called me. He goes all

41:16

the way to the comedy show with my wife at the strip

41:18

club. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing at this strip

41:20

club? Exactly. He

41:23

goes downstairs. He goes, it's not upstairs, it's downstairs. You

41:26

know, I went there and I saw a lot of young

41:29

comics and it was

41:31

exactly what I wanted from a room. Oh,

41:34

cool. What did you like? Why

41:36

did I like it? Because it was very easy for me to go hang

41:39

out with you. A Brian Harris

41:41

with an audience that 90% would

41:43

know me or

41:45

it would be even nicer to go to AC and be in

41:48

the green room and eat food and come

41:50

out and do 2000 people. I could have

41:52

done that. But right now

41:54

I don't need that. I wanted to

41:56

get away from, I need to Get

41:59

inspired. And

42:01

if do anything then spies you more is

42:03

the basement of a strip club. That

42:05

it had a better mood springs? You

42:07

either gotta get funny. For

42:10

you're going to be stopped at the basement for the rest of

42:12

your life. And I okay. I

42:14

went to see my friend Christie Milan. I've.

42:16

Known Crispy from the Comedy Store

42:19

for ninety seven she opened up

42:21

a Paul Mooney. She was also

42:23

disciple upon movies. On. We

42:25

had and I under I whispered an

42:27

ear. If you

42:29

shake your family tree a black

42:31

man will fall out. We have

42:34

a normal fellow. But.

42:36

She said some that night that was very

42:38

true. I watched a not a comic go

42:41

up by whats her go up I saw

42:43

comic that been no cause for two months

42:45

go up. And I saw a guy

42:47

had been don't com if like six weeks ago. And.

42:53

I said what else do you have to my

42:55

she goes nothing to cause I got a nice

42:57

spot at. The Me or comedy

42:59

club or some what She goes. You

43:02

know what? These little room sometimes it's

43:04

where the magic app. And

43:08

She was right. She

43:10

was that you have no expectations and

43:12

then another be why y using the

43:14

happen that. Oh.

43:20

My Mason. Was.

43:22

To square root a stand up. And.

43:26

It's you making the audience laugh.

43:29

Okay, With. Know what's the

43:31

square root of it? It's it's

43:33

it's. Me: At

43:36

the digital class. With.

43:38

You and eight other guys. Being

43:41

on the map to my got beat

43:43

up this guy got me around box

43:45

league for he leaves got the Hitler

43:47

foot and other answer to that. He

43:50

know that is the beginning of

43:52

stand. Is us at

43:55

a pizza parlor with What? team? And

43:57

we're talking about our mother or brother or.

44:00

But you can then as the shop

44:02

right? sneakers? And then I'm

44:04

I graduate or bus. I.

44:07

Was on a bus for two years.

44:09

Tell us stories with kids gone up

44:12

and down in the morning and night.

44:14

busting junkies boss. Yeah

44:16

and then it just got a bigger he

44:18

audience gets bigger and then you're in front

44:20

of and then you're on a stage. And

44:23

the first time I I stayed there was one

44:25

hundred people in states the next night. There.

44:27

Was thirty five people stage and like a

44:29

week later I was back down of for.

44:33

You know my point is to square

44:35

root of comedy is you coming to

44:37

get entertain and me making you laugh.

44:40

Regardless, Of who's there. You.

44:43

Rise to the Movie theater. There

44:46

was sold out for the movie was

44:48

a safe the next one was starting

44:50

to fucking ten forty. But

44:54

the comedy club is starting at eight thirty.

44:57

Let's see who's dead as know you tube.

45:00

right? There's no comes to go

45:03

with his know. Joe Rogan is no. Dave

45:05

Chappelle is just a guy you never saw

45:07

before. Are you

45:09

going there? To get and

45:11

to take. It

45:14

so cool that people from other sounds like that

45:16

that would never think the gatos. I like that

45:18

but like I am so thankful that little cottage

45:20

or like that. Listen there's people that like to

45:22

go to Mass Square Garden. This people that love

45:24

to go. To. The

45:26

rena is people love to go to

45:29

Rascals over. The. Stress Factory

45:31

on T V. Nizam to Be

45:33

knows. But.

45:35

The same congress people just want to go

45:37

to a bar Sometimes. A

45:39

really don't want. To buy two

45:41

drinks. You know, maybe

45:44

I don't drink? Right

45:46

is with the bottom line is

45:48

they went gonna get fucked and

45:50

entertained. And

45:52

not in a dog. I

45:54

could tell you a thousand things. Everybody I saw

45:57

that night. rocking.

46:00

They really were. The first stripper

46:02

that came downstairs, the cocktail waitress,

46:08

scared the fuck out of me because her

46:10

suit, her stripper suit was as

46:12

real as it got. She

46:14

had a spider web suit with a little

46:16

cup holding a little monkey and

46:19

two little things on her tits and

46:21

it was wrapped around with strings and shit. She

46:24

was good looking at one time, like

46:26

she still looked good. No, I'm not. No,

46:28

no, no. You can tell. Just the way

46:30

you said it was very funny. She was

46:32

like something hot in high school. A

46:34

lot of the girl, yeah. And she had

46:36

a kid, started drinking, maybe did meth. Things

46:39

worked out the way they did, but she

46:41

looked good. She was there. She had the

46:44

spider suit on. I was like, oh,

46:47

I didn't know if it was topless. I didn't know.

46:49

But they were waitresses or they were dancers who

46:51

would come down to waitresses in between their

46:54

sets to make extra money. It

46:57

was surreal, man, but it was

46:59

real comedy. I got in

47:01

that car and I felt so good about myself

47:04

because I could have gone anywhere. But

47:06

I went to a place that I could have got

47:08

COVID. You

47:10

know, that's how many people were in a small space. And

47:14

the whole time I'm like, this is what comedy was.

47:17

And I'm looking at these young guys. I'm like,

47:19

that was me 30

47:23

years ago. What is it? 24? 30? That's 94. Yeah. Once

47:25

I got the grasp of it.

47:32

Like I told you, my first two years, I didn't know Dick.

47:35

Once 94 came, I started climbing

47:37

my sets and writing little

47:39

tags. And you know, it

47:41

takes time. You know, so now

47:44

you made it to almost

47:48

the top, I think, the highest for standup. Do

47:55

you regret not doing more of those

47:57

rooms when you were doing it

48:00

full-time? Should people keep doing rooms like

48:02

that their whole career? What

48:05

the little rooms? Yeah. Well you saw me at

48:07

the fourth wall with you. Right,

48:10

which is unique. Like most people wouldn't

48:12

do that either. And I had spots

48:14

at the store and slappers and whatever.

48:18

You know, people could do whatever they want to do,

48:20

man. But I think once

48:23

you're at the green room

48:26

at the comedy store and you're one of the

48:28

guys and you get in 20 minutes and you're

48:31

allowed to bump and you've done movies and

48:33

stuff like that. It's not

48:35

about that anymore. It's about, like

48:38

I made a statement on Rogue in a couple weeks

48:40

ago, I have 2000 people

48:42

keep asking, are you quitting podcasting? Are

48:45

you quitting? I didn't say that. Right.

48:48

I didn't say that. I said that

48:50

it'd be nice to do stand-up with

48:52

nothing else on your plate. No

48:55

acting, no fucking

48:58

podcasting, no social media. Just

49:01

get tight for a year, get

49:03

on stage 350 nights. How many days in a

49:05

year? Yeah.

49:09

350. I'm going for 350 spots.

49:12

If I do a double in a night, it

49:14

counts as one. Really?

49:17

Okay. And

49:19

you know, for a year, focus on that

49:21

with nothing else on my mind. Just

49:24

stand up. You're going to a comedy bootcamp

49:28

that you're fucking teaching. You're at a

49:30

level in your career where you have

49:32

the discipline to do that. Anybody

49:35

does. Anybody

49:37

does. Ari is kind of

49:39

doing that right now, don't you think? I

49:41

mean, he's a guest on podcasts sometimes, but

49:44

he kind of doesn't do his

49:46

podcast anymore and he's doing

49:48

a theater tour right now. Listen,

49:51

I talk to him all

49:53

the time about little, and

49:57

we've discussed it just at one point in

49:59

your career. I mean listen, bro, I've been doing it

50:01

now 30 something years I've

50:04

not improved to nobody. I

50:06

really don't Right. What what do

50:08

I have to prove you want me to go on

50:10

an arena tour? To prove

50:12

to everybody that I'm on the top. That's not the top

50:14

of your game Right, I

50:16

never the top of your game. That's

50:19

just another avenue that's opened up for you

50:21

on the way up, you know Which is

50:23

tremendous. I think it's a an amazing fucking

50:25

feet But I didn't want to pack

50:27

18,000 people in there. I don't know

50:29

it just does it Something

50:32

about it. I'm still in love with the small

50:34

room Lee 34 years I Cut

50:38

the money in quarters. I'd rather do the

50:40

small room where you feel them. They're

50:42

on top of you. I don't know I'm

50:46

afraid. Oh man, what the fuck do I know? But

50:49

I know that people doing master square

50:51

garden like it's nothing now Yeah,

50:55

they really like I think Sebastian has like

50:57

six or seven days there. Yeah, they're coming

50:59

up shows You

51:01

know kill Tony two shows.

51:04

Yeah, it's that's impressive as

51:06

fuck and I would love to

51:08

do my sister square garden I just don't have The

51:11

energy to come up with 18,000 people at this point

51:13

in my life You

51:15

know, I wish I did that that's

51:17

a year of me fucking curating Right

51:20

a year of me curating and

51:23

that's really a year of me curating Because

51:26

I would have to do such and filly and shit

51:28

and Jersey. I couldn't do them in the city I'm

51:31

gonna be there in September. I'm right. Oh,

51:33

but I'm gonna be there. No, so Trust

51:36

me. There's a there's always a plan,

51:38

you know it's

51:40

interesting that you said like

51:43

you'd love to do Madison Square Garden when you

51:46

When you were like a young comic

51:49

were there any clubs? I know you

51:51

used to talk about circling in the

51:53

newspaper But like when you were

51:55

starting what what clubs or places did you

51:58

really want to do? Carolines.

52:01

Okay. The Houston

52:07

laptop. Any

52:12

club in LA, egg bees, the

52:14

comedy store, the

52:16

lab factory, the ice house, the

52:20

comedy magic club, the, before

52:23

you got there, years before you got there,

52:25

there was a club in the valley. That

52:28

guy was a thief. There was an actual

52:30

workout room. There

52:33

was one room that stood out and

52:36

it was so weird that when

52:38

I had the opportunity to go there, I

52:41

went there because of that room.

52:43

There was something I always loved about

52:46

the comedy underground in Seattle. Oh

52:49

yeah. Was that there when you were there? Yeah.

52:52

Oh please. That was there 3000 years

52:55

before I started comedy. But the

52:57

other clubs I wanted to work, you know, when

52:59

I got into comedy, the newspaper publication came

53:02

out out of San Francisco. So

53:05

it highlighted a lot of

53:07

stuff in San Francisco. And

53:10

then when things happened, the clubs

53:12

that survived with a punchline to

53:16

one on the fisherman's wharf. Not

53:22

the improbable. Really great club. I

53:25

always bomb at it. Oh,

53:27

uh, Cobbs. Cobbs.

53:30

There was a bunch of clubs up there. I wanted to get

53:32

my name on, you know, but

53:34

San Francisco was one of those cities that

53:37

had like this unbelievable

53:39

fucking club

53:42

scene and hit. Right. When

53:44

it was, they'd get a national contest

53:46

out of there and you know, comics,

53:49

the headliners in San Francisco made

53:51

money because people came out to see him

53:53

and support there. And they played

53:55

Oakland like Mark Curry and

53:58

they played, you know. Fuck

54:00

it in the San Francisco and Concord

54:02

and all those walnut, you know There

54:04

was a punch line at Walnut Creek

54:06

for a while that I got

54:08

to play at and bomb for shows I'm

54:14

always very grateful that that club closed down

54:17

because The

54:19

haunts the fucking ghost of my bombing

54:22

would still haunt me over there. That's how

54:24

bad I fucking bomb. Oh, no Oh We

54:28

have very early on very early

54:30

on it was three years in

54:32

I Was not prepared

54:34

the comic like me. So he brought me with

54:36

him and I just made a fool

54:38

of myself He gave

54:40

me a chance a year later and

54:42

that club fell in love with me And I

54:44

worked that club three weeks of the shot for

54:46

years Wow, and

54:49

I Was just

54:51

thinking about about that this week because people always asked me

54:53

like oh, will you come here? Like I'm

54:55

at a point where like I would love to

54:57

do really anywhere

54:59

and But they're

55:02

all like a few clubs that

55:04

like, you know It

55:06

was just like what being in New York like

55:08

seeing like the stand and the comedy seller and

55:11

like I was my hope I just took a

55:13

walk my hotel was right next to Gotham just

55:15

place like places. I went to as a kid

55:18

It just it just like Would

55:21

be amazing and I would like I said, I would love

55:23

to do anywhere It's not against any other club But just

55:25

seeing I had dinner at

55:27

the place above the cellar just and I've heard

55:30

comics talk about like hanging out there And

55:32

so it's just it's weird how like these places have an

55:34

aura. Yeah It's

55:38

you know, I Didn't

55:40

like the dinners at places. I

55:42

was too broke to have dinners at places But

55:45

there were a lot of comedy clubs that I wanted to

55:47

perform at for personal

55:49

reasons and Yeah,

55:53

I wish you know, I

55:56

got to perform at all the places I

55:58

really wanted to yeah Forming

56:00

like 40 states or something Which

56:03

is pretty damn fucking good, you

56:05

know, and some of them were the

56:07

hard ones Montana, my own Idaho

56:12

They were fucking hard at that point in

56:14

my career, but I'm very grateful for

56:16

that, you know that I had that Toughness,

56:18

you know a lot of them were Mormon

56:21

rooms You didn't know

56:23

till you got there in Utah and shit like that

56:26

But The comedy clubs. Yeah,

56:28

and I got the headline the ones I wanted

56:30

to which was a dream come true Because

56:34

I was so stuck at feature for so

56:36

many years and then

56:38

I really wanted to work at headlining So,

56:41

yeah, I was good. I was

56:43

very good. Trust me. Well what

56:45

I had to work with I Did

56:49

way better than other people with

56:51

what they had to work with and

56:53

I had age against me I had looks

56:55

against me. I had fucking you

56:57

know, I always would with shitty agents till the

57:00

end But I always outworked

57:02

my people you got out work the people that

57:04

are working for you to let them know

57:07

The type of character you are Right.

57:10

That's basically it man That

57:14

this is all about this is what your journey is

57:16

all about food for thought. Okay,

57:19

I Watched one

57:21

of his tapes the other day one of his Things

57:25

came up on Instagram Talking

57:27

about Mitch Hedberg, okay And

57:31

I really thought about Mitch for

57:33

a little while. I can remember him up in

57:35

Seattle with charred Hogan and Then

57:39

later on the Mitch, you know things got

57:42

bad and whatever but the Mitch I remember

57:44

from Seattle 95

57:46

96 97

57:50

and one of the things he did that

57:52

I wish I would have done The

57:55

hell we dreamt about right on

57:57

your own terms is

58:01

go rent

58:04

yourself a fucking van. You

58:06

could do for a month and

58:09

plan out a route where you

58:11

could hit a comedy club every

58:14

fucking night. That

58:16

sounds awesome. Okay, and I

58:19

mean, you know, you're gonna start in Jersey, you're

58:22

gonna go through Pennsylvania, go to

58:24

Michigan. The

58:27

problem is if you do it in the summer, all

58:31

the clubs close down because business,

58:33

you know, it slows down. Right.

58:36

But if you plan a perfect two month

58:38

trip, two months, it's

58:41

not about money, this is an investment in you.

58:44

Renting a van, medium sized van, you can put

58:47

a little cotton there, a little

58:49

Puerto Rican shower in the back, enough clothes

58:51

to, you know, your computer

58:53

obviously, bop, bop, bop, and you put it

58:55

all like a la Doug Stanhope. Right.

58:59

And you do from fucking

59:01

New Jersey, PA, Michigan's

59:06

got a lot of comedy. You

59:09

go through Iowa, maybe, I don't

59:12

know, I don't know what you

59:14

wanna do and then

59:17

come back. And after that, like

59:20

you leave and you've created

59:22

so many leads. If

59:24

you're gone for 20 days, if you're gone for 60 days

59:29

and you hit 40 clubs, 10 of

59:33

them aren't gonna like you. Right.

59:35

But 30 of them are gonna be in

59:37

contact with you. And even if 10 book

59:39

you, you get your money back, not

59:41

now, but in five years from

59:44

now, because you already

59:46

planted your flag in these cities, which

59:49

are obviously very hard to grow at. Yeah.

59:53

That was always like, I

59:56

looked into them when we came back from LA, cause like that,

59:58

I don't know if you've heard, like people talking about, talk about

1:00:00

van life, but people are living

1:00:02

in RVs and vans. So

1:00:05

you could, the hard part for me

1:00:07

would be getting into actual clubs. Like I could, I

1:00:09

think it would be a little easier to like, you

1:00:11

know, do throughout the week, do open mics and then

1:00:13

try to match it up with a good

1:00:15

club. Nah, my name is Lee Sia.

1:00:19

I'm working with a guy that's going to help me and

1:00:21

call these clubs and go, he's coming

1:00:23

through. If he

1:00:25

could just do a guest set in your club. You know what?

1:00:28

We have an opening that night. One of his, does he have

1:00:30

45 minutes? Yeah. You're going

1:00:32

to get a couple gigs, but most of them, you're going to

1:00:34

go in there with a clean mic. Oh,

1:00:37

you're, you're set is just to go in there

1:00:39

and destroy him and make a contact. Right.

1:00:42

People are like you. They're going to go, wow, nobody comes

1:00:44

through here no more. That's a forgotten

1:00:46

art. People don't want to do that no more.

1:00:49

I love doing that. I would book

1:00:51

a room somewhere to purposely get

1:00:53

a guest set at a different place. Really?

1:00:57

Yeah. I wasn't just settling on the hundred.

1:01:00

I wasn't going there. I was going to lose money anyway.

1:01:03

Right. You're giving me 75 bucks to come

1:01:05

to your one nighter and fucking whatever.

1:01:08

But I'd always call the club and see if I

1:01:10

can, can I come in early and do Friday night?

1:01:12

Yeah. I,

1:01:14

it's crazy that you're saying this cause I'm

1:01:17

doing that next month. I'm doing

1:01:19

a couple of shows in a Minnesota

1:01:21

and I'm getting to go to ask me. So,

1:01:24

but it's, um, let

1:01:26

me ask you this cause you're just talking about like showing up at

1:01:28

clubs like that. When you're, when you

1:01:30

were doing shows, did you ever,

1:01:34

when did you start working on stuff at big shows?

1:01:36

Cause like, I was talking with another comic this weekend

1:01:38

about it and we're at a place right now where

1:01:41

like, we're just doing like

1:01:43

that, that a list, like the one

1:01:45

we know will work cause we want the clubs to

1:01:48

know that we're actually funny. We're

1:01:50

versus like working on stuff in between. So

1:01:54

you were around me for a long time. I'm not going

1:01:56

up on stage unless I drop something high. Right.

1:02:01

Always trying something, even the

1:02:03

idea. Okay. Even

1:02:06

the idea. Like the idea

1:02:08

something happened last night or something that,

1:02:12

you know, I don't know, something I wrote

1:02:14

it down. Just the idea.

1:02:17

I don't have a joke for it, but I know there's something there.

1:02:20

Wow. Go through it. And even

1:02:22

if it's a throwaway, the world is

1:02:25

going to shit. Look, this, that, and then

1:02:27

throw that joke away. And

1:02:29

I guarantee by you just mentioning that you're

1:02:32

going to get three people who are going to giggle because they

1:02:34

saw the news. Okay. And then

1:02:36

you throw this from there, you know. Lee,

1:02:40

your goal every night is to be funny. Okay.

1:02:43

You know what's working and you know what's not. If

1:02:46

you got 14 minutes of solid fucking

1:02:48

material, you really have 30,

1:02:51

but your first 14 are fire. Don't

1:02:54

book a guest set for 20 minutes. Okay.

1:02:57

And then fucking 10 where

1:02:59

you could fit the 14 in and destroy him.

1:03:02

This is the kind of shit that you have to

1:03:04

look at objectively and go,

1:03:07

what do I really have to offer this

1:03:09

joke about? This is flood. It's funny though.

1:03:11

When I was watching those young open Micah's

1:03:13

the other night, I

1:03:16

did find something that I was saying to myself,

1:03:18

throw that joke away to

1:03:20

them. No, I would never

1:03:22

say to them. I would say it's an

1:03:25

important, but about them to myself. Right.

1:03:28

I would throw that joke away. I would throw that joke

1:03:30

where I would take that joke and

1:03:32

add this to it. Like I

1:03:34

was saying that to myself constantly. So I'm there,

1:03:36

but I was saved after the end. It's a

1:03:38

little too blue up front. Like

1:03:40

I was doing that just to, and that's what I wanted

1:03:42

to do. Oh, cool.

1:03:45

Okay. The basics. You

1:03:47

want to get back to bed. I'm not there putting anybody

1:03:49

down. No, I didn't think that at all.

1:03:52

Nothing bothered me more than when I was

1:03:54

doing comedy three years and there's always that

1:03:56

one guy that came over. Yeah.

1:03:59

You know. I just opened up for Ron

1:04:01

White. You shouldn't use that joke. You

1:04:04

know, I did it at the improv. I didn't want to

1:04:06

hear it. Cause

1:04:08

you suck. You didn't mean to.

1:04:10

So I'm not there to ever. Like

1:04:14

I tend away from that

1:04:17

shit with everybody.

1:04:19

Cause that's, I know I don't like people macking

1:04:21

around with it. No,

1:04:23

I never thought you would talk shit about something.

1:04:26

I didn't know if you were like thinking about

1:04:28

your own jokes or if you were thinking about

1:04:30

their jokes, but that's

1:04:32

really cool that like you found, like,

1:04:35

so I guess, are you close to halfway done

1:04:37

with these 10 sets? I would say

1:04:39

you're probably maybe even past it. I think

1:04:41

I'm on five or six. How

1:04:44

is it cool? Like overall, is it going the way

1:04:46

you wanted it to go? Like how is it looking?

1:04:48

Yes. It's going the

1:04:51

way I wanted it to go. Abs are fucking

1:04:53

lutely. I took my time.

1:04:55

I didn't force anything. I didn't go anywhere

1:04:57

where I didn't belong. I

1:04:59

might do something Wednesday night to help a friend out

1:05:02

and to go check out this club. And

1:05:05

that'll be my first lurking

1:05:07

night. You know, that I'll lurk outside

1:05:09

my usual. Thursday

1:05:12

I got somewhere to go this week. I got two

1:05:14

places to go. Nice. And

1:05:16

then, yeah, you know, I'm always looking

1:05:19

man. If something fits,

1:05:21

boom, I'll show up and do 10. You

1:05:24

know, but I can't put myself on like

1:05:27

weird positions either. What do you

1:05:29

mean by that? Like

1:05:33

the other night as I was leaving, 20

1:05:35

of those open mic is one of the pictures and I'm like,

1:05:37

guys, oh yeah, comedians knocked

1:05:39

the fuck off. I'm

1:05:42

not sitting here. This is the

1:05:44

shit you do when you get paid for your show. Right.

1:05:48

You know, I'm not going to be out here for an hour. I

1:05:50

got to go home. The honeymooners are starting, Lee's coming

1:05:53

over. And that's the truth. I had to

1:05:55

go. I didn't know if you would con your way. I

1:05:58

didn't know if you were going to call me when you were in the neighborhood. I

1:06:00

didn't want to bother you so But

1:06:04

no, it's definitely going I wanted to go

1:06:06

I Think the

1:06:08

fourth set I did a little stutter step Okay,

1:06:12

home and I'm catching it's

1:06:14

like the other day. I had a great set at

1:06:16

the strip club There was one

1:06:18

thing I mumbled. There was

1:06:20

one thing as I was doing it. I go fucking

1:06:22

it up. It's a good Premise

1:06:25

I gotta go into a little better

1:06:28

and I came home and worked on it that night. So It's

1:06:31

working out great. It would have been It

1:06:34

would have been nice to see Tom and Matt pull Tron

1:06:37

Right great to see Brian. I said would have

1:06:39

been great to see you on stage the

1:06:41

unnatural habitat But

1:06:44

at the same time I gotta get this

1:06:46

handled and the quicker I

1:06:48

get this handled the quicker I can make different

1:06:51

moves Yeah Like

1:06:55

I said, I'm broken I could see

1:06:57

myself doing a residency. Mm-hmm something

1:07:00

really cool But

1:07:04

that's it I'm not traveling

1:07:06

oh, yeah, I don't expect you to try

1:07:08

just places that I do miss You

1:07:11

know, oh, yeah. Yeah, I would

1:07:13

love I'm definitely going back to JRE

1:07:15

like well not to do the podcast

1:07:19

But to try those three nights. I'm definitely gonna

1:07:21

try it And I

1:07:23

always like going to Milwaukee one

1:07:26

more time I'm

1:07:29

like a farewell tour. I

1:07:31

got some cities picked like and they're not even

1:07:33

theaters Even if it's

1:07:36

a couple clubs I hit Two

1:07:38

nights. I don't know if I could do a

1:07:40

late show anymore Lee. You don't think so I think

1:07:42

you I mean it what is it about

1:07:44

it that you're not sure is it? To

1:07:46

give you energy Yeah,

1:07:50

I want to give you a hundred fifty percent a sleepy

1:07:52

Joe is not a good Joe. You know saying

1:07:55

we already have a sleepy Joe I Know

1:07:58

I can come out and give you a one good fucking

1:08:00

show, right? Rather do

1:08:02

that and give you one

1:08:05

really good one and one mediocre one

1:08:08

because you're feeling tired at the end of your

1:08:10

headlining. You

1:08:14

know what, man, I don't

1:08:16

like I respect professional athletes

1:08:18

because they got to go cold during commercial breaks.

1:08:22

They got to go cold. I hate

1:08:24

cold after your first show.

1:08:28

You get off stage, you go in the green room. Maybe

1:08:31

you get something to eat. Maybe

1:08:33

you smoke a joint, you go to the bathroom, you

1:08:35

throw some water on your face and you

1:08:37

still got 45 to an hour and

1:08:40

wait. Right. Okay. Got it. You

1:08:42

sit down, you're talking to your friends, people

1:08:44

come into the green room, you're talking to

1:08:46

them, your muscles get tight, your

1:08:48

back gets tight. I

1:08:51

know when I was doing two shows and I

1:08:53

would get back to my room and I figured this out why

1:08:56

my legs were so tight at the end of

1:08:59

once I would go back to my hotel room. Why

1:09:03

am I so tight? And

1:09:05

then I figured out because when you're on stage, your

1:09:08

feet clamp into the

1:09:10

stage, you're protecting your boundaries. You

1:09:13

don't know you're doing this. This

1:09:15

is the unconscious shit you do as

1:09:17

part of you stand up. You know, I would

1:09:19

always stand one leg at like a guard attack.

1:09:22

I'm not going to stand with both feet even

1:09:24

because that's how Frank media got Brock Lesnar.

1:09:30

You always got to stand with one foot in front of

1:09:32

the other one low. I

1:09:35

would go back to my room and I would go what the

1:09:37

fuck and then I started lifting weights and

1:09:39

I figured out why I was so sore. Very

1:09:42

interesting, you know, I

1:09:44

wear whoop when I get my

1:09:47

stage now. Very interesting what

1:09:49

you find out about yourself. Oh, I'm

1:09:51

sure. If you do 30 minutes, if

1:09:53

you do 30 minutes or more with

1:09:55

the whoop on, okay, it becomes

1:09:57

an activity. Okay,

1:10:00

it pops up by itself and they'll go

1:10:02

what's this activity you put stand-up

1:10:04

comedy and then it processes And

1:10:07

when the results come back, you're gonna go what the fuck

1:10:09

was that? Your heartbeat was at 90% of

1:10:12

your usual range when you're doing this exercise

1:10:15

Like what are you talking about? You've burned 800 calories

1:10:19

400 calories You

1:10:22

know, it's like I'm lifting weights on

1:10:24

stage. I'm breathing my heart's beating Yeah,

1:10:28

I'm there. I'm living it I'm

1:10:32

living it and that's why you burn 800

1:10:36

fucking calories in 45 minutes. I

1:10:38

can throw punches for an hour not burn 700

1:10:42

calories I go to fucking jiu-jitsu. I got a rose

1:10:44

10 times to burn 700 calories. Yeah Josh

1:10:50

switches shirts in between shows Cuz

1:10:52

he like sweats. Yeah, I don't sweat no

1:10:54

more. I don't do drugs When

1:10:59

I was doing coke I was sweating up a

1:11:01

fucking storm out there but Yeah,

1:11:04

I'm alright now. What do you got this

1:11:06

week beautiful this week? I'm going

1:11:08

to the Buffalo helium Thursday through Saturday with

1:11:10

Josh. Oh, that's a good time They

1:11:12

don't have the beef on wick no more and I think

1:11:14

they took the wings off the menu at the

1:11:17

club Yeah, okay, you know

1:11:19

where you got to go Oh,

1:11:21

yeah, I'm excited. Well, there's yeah,

1:11:24

there's there's duffs and then like there's a

1:11:26

couple of out there You're not

1:11:28

going to bar. That's where that many guns

1:11:30

going. Okay, no more anchor bar for

1:11:32

the wings weren't start That's what the

1:11:34

wings started, but you know, I'm gonna go drive

1:11:37

by beep the horn You

1:11:40

know I'm saying I can't

1:11:42

wait I'm excited for Buffalo about great

1:11:45

make sure you use Josh as a reference

1:11:48

The other Josh Buffalo Josh Potter. Yeah,

1:11:50

the man is feel oh Yeah,

1:11:53

and oh, yeah, I mean that's one of the ones that

1:11:56

I'm excited about like I'm excited about all of them But

1:11:58

I've heard you and like a lot of Talk

1:12:00

about the Buffalo helium for years. I Like

1:12:03

it. I just read some comic went up there and

1:12:05

it was awful and I'm like, I

1:12:08

don't know what this guy's a prima don I don't know what comic

1:12:10

it was. I've always enjoyed the

1:12:12

Buffalo crowds always Yeah,

1:12:15

great. They'll take the rival year. They're not

1:12:17

politically correct you know

1:12:19

if it's real Buffalo, you'll be fine

1:12:22

and Buffalo is always

1:12:24

Buffalo. It don't change I'm

1:12:28

Gonna be great. Let me I don't know where

1:12:30

I'm gonna be, but I'm gonna be out twice this week you

1:12:34

know trying some stupid jokes just It's

1:12:38

made me a better person recently Just

1:12:41

getting out getting in the car,

1:12:44

you know getting high driving

1:12:47

stopping that wah-wah It's

1:12:51

good for the soul, you know, so I'm

1:12:54

doing great with it brother, but yeah with February

1:12:56

I Don't

1:12:58

know how many dates you got this month. I Got

1:13:01

a couple things going on. Oh, yeah.

1:13:03

Well, do I I have I have

1:13:06

I think this is it actually I think I have two

1:13:09

weeks free right now, but the Buffalo one's

1:13:11

a big one What else do

1:13:13

you have? I don't have any

1:13:15

shows. I just got you know, okay. No,

1:13:17

I got no shows I'm just going off the seat of

1:13:19

my pants All

1:13:21

right, but no that's like tonight's too cold. I

1:13:23

wouldn't go anywhere to do comedy today. Oh No

1:13:28

No, it's too cold. It's Monday night. What's going

1:13:30

on? Ain't nothing going on unless

1:13:32

I go into the city. Am I going

1:13:34

to this state? Come on. I gotta go there tomorrow and

1:13:37

then Wednesday. I gotta be at the doctor at 9 I

1:13:40

got a hell of a fucking week. I'm sucker and

1:13:42

I'll be in touch and I'll be in touch with

1:13:45

you little bastards We

1:13:48

want me to say I don't fucking know I

1:13:51

love me cocksuckers. Thank you for watching the check-in

1:13:53

today We're gonna keep pushing

1:13:56

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