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select items. Restrictions apply. Why

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does the Prussian officer pick on his

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orderly so much? Seriously, what's

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eating the guy? D.H.

0:37

Lawrence, today on the

0:39

Classic Tales Podcast. Welcome

0:51

to the Classic Tales Podcast. Thank you

0:53

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Keep an ear open for when we pull the trigger.

1:57

Today's story is about two

1:59

soldiers. an officer, and is

2:01

orderly. The officer is

2:03

a little older, comes from a

2:06

wealthy family, has squandered his inheritance and

2:08

must make his living in the military.

2:11

He's angry and honoree all the time. The

2:14

orderly is the opposite. He's young

2:16

and sensitive. His name

2:18

is Schöner, which means more beautiful

2:20

in German. I hope you like it.

2:24

And now, the Prussian Officer

2:27

by D. H. Lawrence. The

2:34

Prussian Officer. One.

2:39

They had marched more than thirty

2:41

kilometers since dawn, along

2:44

the white, hot road, where

2:46

occasional thickets of trees threw a moment of

2:48

shade, then out into the glare

2:50

again. On

2:52

either hand, the valley, wide

2:55

and shallow, glittered with

2:57

heat. Thick green

2:59

patches of rye, pale

3:01

young corn, fallow and

3:04

meadow, in black pine woods,

3:07

spread in a dull, hot

3:09

diagram under a glistening

3:11

sky. But right in

3:13

front, the mountains ranged across,

3:16

pale blue and very

3:19

still, snow gleaming

3:21

gently out of the deep atmosphere. And

3:25

towards the mountains, on and on,

3:28

the regiment marched between the rye

3:30

fields and the meadows, between

3:33

the scraggy fruit trees set regularly

3:35

on either side of the high

3:37

road. The

3:39

burnished, dark green rye threw

3:42

on a suffocating heat. The

3:45

mountains drew gradually nearer and

3:47

more distinct. While

3:49

the feet of the soldiers grew hotter, sweat

3:52

ran through their hair under their helmets and

3:55

their knapsacks could burn no more in

3:57

contact with their shoulders, but seemed

3:59

instead to give off a cold, prickly

4:02

sensation. He

4:04

walked on and on in silence, staring

4:07

at the mountains ahead, the rose

4:10

sheer out of the land, and

4:12

stood fold behind fold, half

4:15

earth, half heaven. The

4:17

heaven, the banner with

4:19

slits of soft snow, in

4:22

the pale, bluish peaks. He

4:25

could now walk almost without pain. At the

4:28

start, he had determined not to limp. It

4:31

had made him sick to take the first steps,

4:34

and during the first mile or so he had

4:36

compressed his breath, and the

4:39

cold drops of sweat had stood on his forehead.

4:42

But he had walked it off. What

4:44

were they, after all but bruises? He

4:47

had looked at them as he was getting up,

4:50

bruises on the backs of his thighs. And

4:53

since he had made his first step in the morning, he

4:56

had been conscious of them. Till

4:58

now he had a tight, hot place in

5:00

his chest, with suppressing the

5:03

pain and holding himself in.

5:06

There seemed no air when he breathed, but

5:09

he walked almost lightly. The

5:12

captain's hand had trembled at taking his coffee

5:15

at dawn. His orderly

5:17

saw it again. And he

5:19

saw the fine figure of the captain wheeling

5:22

on horseback at the farmhouse ahead. A

5:24

handsome figure, in pale blue

5:27

uniform, with facings of scarlet,

5:29

and the metal gleaming on the black

5:31

helmet and the sword scabbard, and

5:34

dark streaks of sweat coming on the

5:36

silky bay horse. The

5:39

orderly felt he was connected with that

5:41

figure, moving so suddenly on

5:43

horseback. He followed

5:45

it like a shadow, mute

5:49

and inevitable, and damned by

5:51

it. And the

5:53

officer was always aware of the tramp of the

5:55

company behind, the march of

5:57

his orderly among the men. The

6:00

captain was a tall man of about forty, gray

6:03

at the temples. He

6:05

had a handsome, finely-knit figure and

6:07

was one of the best horsemen in the West. His

6:11

orderly, having to rub him down, admired

6:13

the amazing riding muscles of his loins.

6:17

For the rest, the orderly scarcely

6:19

noticed the officer any more than he

6:21

noticed himself. It

6:23

was rarely he saw his master's face. He

6:26

did not look at it. The

6:29

captain had reddish-brown, stilt hair that

6:31

he wore short upon his skull. His

6:35

mustache was also cut short and bristly

6:37

over a full, brutal mouth. His

6:41

face was rather rugged, the

6:43

cheeks thin. Perhaps

6:45

the man was more handsome for the deep lines in

6:47

his face, the irritable tension

6:49

of his brow, which gave

6:51

him the look of a man who fights with life.

6:55

His fair eyebrows stood bushy over

6:57

light blue eyes that were always flashing

7:00

with cold fire. He

7:02

was a Prussian aristocrat, haughty and

7:05

overbearing, but his mother

7:07

had been a Polish countess. Having

7:10

made too many gambling debts when he was young,

7:12

he had ruined his prospect in

7:14

the army and remained an

7:16

infantry captain. He

7:19

had never married, his position did not

7:21

allow of it, and no woman had

7:23

ever moved him to it. His

7:25

time he spent riding. Occasionally,

7:27

he rode one of his own horses at the

7:30

races and at the officer's club.

7:33

Now and then he took himself a mistress, but

7:36

after such an event he returned to duty

7:38

with his brow still more tense, his

7:41

eyes still more hostile and

7:43

irritable. With the

7:45

man, however, he was merely impersonal, though

7:48

a devil when roused, so

7:50

that on the whole they

7:52

feared him but had no great aversion from him. They

7:56

accepted him as the inevitable. He

8:00

was at first cold and just and

8:03

indifferent. He did not fuss

8:05

over trifles, so that

8:07

his servant knew practically nothing about him,

8:10

except just what orders he would give, and

8:12

how he wanted them obeyed. That was

8:14

quite simple. Then

8:17

the change gradually came.

8:21

The orderly was a youth of

8:23

about twenty-two, of medium height and

8:25

well-built. He had

8:27

strong, heavy limbs, was swarthy, with

8:30

a soft, black, young mustache.

8:33

There was something altogether warm and young about

8:36

him. He had

8:38

firmly marked eyebrows over dark, expressionless

8:40

eyes that seemed never to

8:42

have thought, only to

8:44

have received life direct through his senses

8:47

and acted straight from instinct. Gradually,

8:51

the officer had become aware

8:53

of his servant's young, vigorous,

8:56

unconscious presence about him. He

8:59

could not get away from the sense of

9:02

the youth's person while he was

9:04

in attendance. It was

9:06

like a warm flame upon the older

9:08

man's tense, rigid body that

9:10

had become almost unliving, fixed.

9:14

There was something so free and

9:16

self-contained about him, and

9:19

something in the young fellow's movement, that

9:21

made the officer aware of him, and

9:24

this irritated the Prussian. He

9:27

did not choose to be touched into life by

9:29

his servant. He might easily

9:32

have changed his man, but he

9:34

did not. He

9:36

now very rarely looked direct at his

9:38

orderly, but kept his face averted, as

9:41

if to avoid seeing him. And

9:43

yet, as the young

9:45

soldier moved unthinking about the apartment, the

9:48

elder watched him and would

9:51

notice the movement of his strong young

9:53

shoulders under the blue cloth, the

9:55

bend of his neck, and

9:58

it irritated him. To

10:00

see the soldier's young, brown, shapely

10:03

peasant's hand grasped the loaf for

10:05

the wine bottle, sent

10:07

a flash of hate or of anger

10:09

through the elder man's blood. It

10:12

was not that the youth was clumsy. It

10:15

was rather the blind, instinctive

10:17

sureness of movement of an

10:19

unhampered young animal that

10:22

irritated the officer to such a degree. Once,

10:26

when a bottle of wine had gone over

10:28

and the red gushed out onto the tablecloth,

10:30

the officer had started up with an

10:32

oath and his eyes, bluey like fire,

10:35

had held those of the confused youth for a

10:37

moment. It was a shock for

10:39

the young soldier. He

10:42

felt something sink deeper, deeper

10:45

into his soul, where

10:47

nothing had ever gone before. It

10:51

left him rather blank and wondering. Some

10:54

of his natural completeness in himself

10:56

was gone. A

10:59

little uneasiness took its place,

11:02

and from that time an undiscovered

11:05

feeling had held between

11:07

the two men. Henceforward

11:11

the orderly was afraid of really meeting

11:13

his master. His

11:16

subconscious remembered those steely blue

11:18

eyes and the harsh brows

11:20

and did not intend to meet them again. So

11:24

he always stared past his master and

11:26

avoided him. Also, in

11:29

a little anxiety, he waited for

11:31

the three months to have gone, when

11:33

his time would be up. He began

11:35

to feel a constraint in the captain's

11:37

presence, and the soldier,

11:39

even more than the officer, wanted to be

11:41

left alone in his neutrality

11:44

as servant. He

11:46

had served the captain for more than a year and

11:49

knew his duty. Thus he

11:51

performed easily, as if it were natural

11:53

to him. The officer and

11:55

his commands he took for granted, as

11:58

he took the sun and the rain. And

12:00

he served as a matter of course. It

12:03

did not implicate him personally. But

12:06

now, if he were going

12:08

to be forced into a personal interchange with his master,

12:10

he would be like a

12:12

wild thing caught. He felt he must

12:14

get away. But

12:17

the influence of the young soldier's

12:19

being had penetrated through the officer's

12:21

stiffened discipline and perturbed

12:23

the man in him. He,

12:26

however, was a gentleman, with long,

12:29

fine hands and cultivated movements.

12:32

He was not going to allow such a thing as

12:34

the stirring of his innate self. He

12:37

was a man of passionate temper who

12:39

had always kept himself suppressed. Occasionally

12:42

there had been a duel, an outburst

12:44

before the soldiers. He

12:47

knew himself to be always on the point

12:49

of breaking out, but he kept

12:51

himself hard to the idea of the

12:53

service. However, the

12:55

young soldier seemed to live out his warm,

12:58

full nature, to give it off

13:00

in his very movements, which had a certain zest,

13:03

such as wild animals have in free

13:05

movement, and this irritated the

13:08

officer more and more. In

13:11

spite of himself, the captain

13:13

could not regain his neutrality of

13:15

feeling towards his orderly. Nor

13:18

could he leave the man alone. In

13:20

spite of himself, he watched him, gave

13:23

him sharp orders, tried to take

13:25

up as much of his time as possible. Sometimes

13:28

he flew into a rage with the young soldier

13:30

and bullied him. Then

13:32

the orderly shut himself off, as

13:34

it were, out of earshot and waited with

13:37

sullen, flushed face, for

13:40

the end of the noise. The

13:42

words never pierced to his intelligence. He

13:46

made himself protectively impervious to

13:48

the feelings of his master. He

13:52

had a scar on his left thumb, a

13:55

deep seam going across the knuckle. long

14:00

suffered from it and wanted to do something

14:02

to it. Still, it

14:05

was there, ugly and

14:07

brutal, on the young brown

14:09

hand. At last,

14:12

the captain's reserve gave way. One

14:15

day, as the orderly was smoothing

14:17

out the tablecloth, the officer

14:19

pinned down his thumb with a

14:21

pencil, asking, How did you come by that?

14:25

The young man Winston drew back at attention.

14:28

A wood axe, Herr Hauptmann, he

14:31

answered. The

14:33

officer waited for further explanation.

14:35

None came. The

14:38

orderly went about his duties. The

14:41

elder man was suddenly angry.

14:43

His servant avoided him, and

14:45

the next day he had to use

14:47

all his will power to avoid seeing

14:49

the scarred thumb. Winston

14:52

wanted to get hold of it, and a

14:54

hot flame ran in his blood. He

14:58

knew his servant would soon be free and would

15:00

be glad, and yet the

15:03

soldier had held himself off from the elder

15:05

man. The captain

15:07

grew madly irritable. He

15:09

could not rest when the soldier was away,

15:11

and when he was present, he glared at

15:13

him with tormented eyes. He

15:16

hated those fine black brows

15:18

over the unmeaning dark eyes.

15:21

He was infuriated by the free

15:23

movement of the handsome limbs which

15:25

no military discipline could make stiff,

15:28

and he became harsh and cruelly

15:30

bullying using contempt

15:32

and satire. The

15:34

young soldier only grew more mute and

15:37

expressionless. What

15:39

cattle were you bred by that you can't

15:41

keep straight eyes? Look me in the

15:43

eyes when I speak to you. The

15:46

soldier turned his dark eyes to the other's

15:48

face, but there was no

15:50

sight in them. He stared

15:52

with the slightest possible cast, holding

15:55

back his sight. Perceiving

15:58

the blue of his master's eyes, the soldier was very happy with his sight. but

16:00

receiving no look from them. As

16:03

the elder man went pale and

16:06

his reddish eyebrows twitched, he

16:09

gave his order, barrenly. Once

16:12

he flung a heavy military glove into the young

16:14

soldier's face. Then he

16:16

had the satisfaction of seeing the black eyes flare

16:18

up into his own, like a blaze

16:20

when straw is thrown on a fire, and

16:23

he had laughed with a little tremor and

16:26

a sneer. But

16:28

there were only two months more. The

16:31

youth instinctively tried to keep himself intact.

16:34

He tried to serve the officer as if

16:36

the latter were an abstract authority and not

16:38

a man. All

16:40

his instinct was to avoid personal

16:43

contact, even definite

16:45

hate. But

16:47

in spite of himself, the hate grew, responsive

16:50

to the officer's passion. However,

16:53

he put it in the background. When

16:56

he had left the army, he could dare acknowledge it. By

17:00

nature, he was active and had many

17:02

friends. He thought what

17:04

amazing good fellows they were. But

17:07

without knowing it, he was alone.

17:11

Now this solitariness was

17:13

intensified. It would carry

17:15

him through his term. But

17:18

the officer seemed to be

17:20

going irritably insane, and the

17:22

youth was deeply frightened. The

17:25

soldier had a sweetheart, a girl from the

17:28

mountains, independent and primitive.

17:31

The two walked together rather

17:33

silently. He went

17:35

with her not to talk, but to

17:38

have his arm round her and for

17:40

the physical contact. This

17:42

eased him, made it

17:44

easier for him to ignore the captain, for

17:47

he could rest with her held fast against

17:49

his chest, and she, in some

17:52

unspoken fashion, was there for

17:54

him. They loved each other.

17:58

The captain perceived it. and

18:00

was mad with irritation. He

18:02

kept the young men engaged all the evenings

18:05

long and took pleasure in the dark look

18:07

that came on his face. Occasionally,

18:11

the eyes of the two men met, those

18:13

of the younger sullen and

18:15

dark, doggedly unalterable,

18:19

those of the elder sneering with restless

18:21

contempt. The

18:24

officer tried hard not

18:26

to admit the passion that had

18:28

got hold of him. He

18:30

would not know that his feeling for his

18:32

orderly was anything but that

18:34

of a man incensed by his

18:37

stupid, perverse servant. So,

18:40

keeping quite justified and conventional

18:42

in his consciousness, he

18:44

let the other thing run on. His

18:47

nerves, however, were suffering. At

18:50

last, he slung the end of

18:52

a belt in his servant's face. When

18:55

he saw the youth start back, the pain

18:57

tears in his eyes and the blood on

18:59

his mouth, he had felt

19:01

at once a thrill of deep pleasure and

19:04

of shame. But

19:07

this, he acknowledged to himself,

19:09

was a thing he had never done before.

19:12

The fellow was too exasperating. His

19:14

own nerves must be going to pieces. He

19:17

went away for some days with a woman. It

19:21

was a mockery of pleasure. He

19:23

simply did not want the woman, but

19:25

he stayed on for his time. At

19:28

the end of it, he came back

19:30

in an agony of irritation, torment,

19:32

and misery. He

19:34

rode all the evening, then came

19:36

straight in to supper. His

19:38

orderly was out. The

19:41

officer sat with his long, fine hands

19:43

lying on the table, perfectly

19:45

still, and all his

19:47

blood seemed to be corroding.

19:51

At last, his servant entered. He

19:54

watched the strong, easy young

19:57

figure, the fine eyebrows, the

19:59

thick, black hair. In

20:02

a week's time, the youth had got back his

20:04

old well-being. The hands

20:06

of the officer twitched and seemed to

20:08

be full of mad flame. The

20:11

young man stood at attention, unmoving,

20:14

shut on. The

20:16

meal went in silence, but

20:18

the orderly seemed eager. He

20:20

made a clatter with the dishes. Are

20:22

you in a hurry? asked the

20:24

officer, watching the intent warm face of

20:27

his servant. The

20:29

other did not reply. Will

20:31

you answer my question? said

20:33

the captain. Yes, sir, replied

20:36

the orderly, standing with his pile

20:38

of deep army plates. The

20:41

captain waited, looked at him, then

20:44

asked again. Are you

20:46

in a hurry? Yes, sir, came

20:49

the answer, that sent a flash

20:51

through the listener. For what? I

20:54

was going out, sir. I want you

20:56

this evening. There was

20:58

a moment's hesitation. The

21:01

officer had a curious stiffness of

21:03

countenance. Yes,

21:05

sir, replied the

21:07

servant in his throat. I

21:10

want you tomorrow evening also. In fact,

21:12

you may consider your evenings occupied, unless

21:14

I give you leave. The

21:17

mouth with the young moustache set close.

21:21

Yes, sir, answered the

21:23

orderly, loosening his lips for a moment.

21:26

He again turned to the door. And

21:29

why have you a piece of pencil

21:31

in your ear? The orderly

21:33

hesitated, then continued on

21:35

his way without answering. He

21:38

set the plates in a pile outside the door, and

21:43

put it in his pocket. He

21:46

had been copying a verse for his sweetheart's

21:48

birthday card. He returned

21:50

to finish clearing the table. The

21:53

officer's eyes were dancing. He

21:55

had a little eager smile. Why

21:58

have you a piece of pencil in your ear? in your ear,"

22:01

he asked. The

22:03

orderly took his hands full of dishes. His

22:07

master was standing near the great green stove, a

22:10

little smile on his face. His

22:12

chin thrust forward. When

22:15

the young soldier saw him, his heart suddenly

22:17

ran hot. He felt blind. Instead

22:20

of answering, he turned dazedly to the door.

22:23

As he was crouching to set down the dishes, he

22:25

was pitched forward by a kick from behind. The

22:28

pots went in a stream down the stairs.

22:30

He clung to the pillar of the banisters.

22:33

As he was rising, he was kicked

22:35

heavily again and again, so that he

22:37

clung sickly to the post for some moments. His

22:40

master had gone swiftly into the room and closed the

22:42

door. The maidservant

22:44

downstairs looked up the staircase and

22:47

made a mocking face at the crockery disaster.

22:51

The officer's heart was plunging. He

22:54

poured himself a glass of wine, part

22:56

of which he spilled on the floor and

22:58

gulped the remainder, leaning against the

23:00

cool green stove. He

23:03

heard his man collecting the dishes from the stairs.

23:06

Pale as if intoxicated, he

23:08

waited. The servant

23:11

entered again. The

23:13

captain's heart gave a pang as of pleasure,

23:16

seeing the young fellow bewildered and

23:18

uncertain on his feet with pain.

23:21

Shunner! he said. The

23:24

soldier was a little slower in coming to attention.

23:28

Yes, sir? The

23:30

youth stood before him, with pathetic

23:32

young mustache and fine eyebrows very

23:34

distinct on his forehead of dark

23:36

marble. I

23:39

asked you a question. Yes, sir.

23:43

The officer's tone bit like acid.

23:47

Why had you a pencil

23:49

in your ear? Again,

23:53

the servant's heart ran hot, and

23:55

he could not breathe. With dark,

23:58

strained eyes, he was a little He looked

24:00

at the officer, as if

24:02

fascinated, and

24:04

he stood there, sturdily planted, unconscious.

24:08

The withering smile came into the captain's

24:11

eyes and he lifted his foot.

24:14

I forgot it, sir, panted

24:16

the soldier, his dark eyes

24:18

fixed on the other man's dancing blue ones. What

24:22

is it doing there? He

24:25

saw the young man's breast heaving as he

24:27

made an effort for words. I had

24:29

been writing. Writing what?

24:33

Again the soldier looked him up and down. The

24:36

officer could hear him panting. The

24:39

smile came into the blue eyes.

24:42

The soldier worked his dry throat but could not

24:44

speak. Suddenly

24:46

the smile lit like a name on the

24:49

officer's face and a kick

24:51

came heavily against the orderly's thigh. The

24:54

youth moved to pace sideways. His

24:56

face went dead with two

24:58

black, staring eyes. Well,

25:02

said the officer. The

25:05

orderly's mouth had gone dry and

25:07

his tongue rubbed in it as on

25:09

dry brown paper. He

25:12

worked his throat. The

25:14

officer raised his foot. The

25:16

servant went stiff. Some poetry,

25:18

sir, came the

25:20

crackling, unrecognizable sound of his voice.

25:23

Poetry? What?

25:25

Poetry. Asked

25:28

the captain with a sickly smile. Again

25:32

there was the working in the throat. The

25:34

captain's heart had suddenly gone down heavily and

25:37

he stood sick and tired. For

25:41

my girl, sir. He

25:44

heard the dry, inhuman sound. Oh,

25:48

he said, turning away. There

25:51

the table. Went

25:53

the soldier's throat. Again and

25:56

again. And then the

25:58

half-articulate, yes, sir. The

26:01

young soldier was gone, looking

26:03

old and walking heavily.

26:07

The officer, left alone, held

26:10

himself rigid to

26:12

prevent himself from thinking. His

26:15

instinct warned him that he must not think. Deep

26:19

inside him was the intense gratification of

26:21

his passion still working

26:23

powerfully. Then

26:25

there was a counter-action, a

26:28

horrible breaking down of something inside him,

26:30

a whole agony

26:33

of reaction. He

26:35

stood there for an hour, motionless,

26:38

a chaos of sensations, but

26:40

rigid with a will to keep

26:42

blank his consciousness, to

26:45

prevent his mind grasping. He

26:49

held himself so until the worst of the stress

26:51

had passed. When

26:54

he began to drink, drank himself

26:56

to an intoxication, till

26:58

he slept, obliterated. When

27:01

he woke in the morning, he was shaken to the base

27:04

of his nature, but

27:06

he had fought off the realization of what he had done.

27:09

He had prevented his mind from taking

27:11

it in, had suppressed it, along

27:14

with his instincts, and a

27:16

conscious man had nothing to do with it. He

27:19

felt only his after a bout of intoxication, weak,

27:23

but the affair itself all dim

27:25

and not to be recovered. Of

27:29

the drunkenness of his passion, he

27:31

successfully refused remembrance, and

27:34

when his orderly appeared with coffee, the

27:36

officer assumed the same self he had had

27:38

the morning before. He

27:41

refused the event of the past night, denied

27:44

it had ever been, and was

27:46

successful in his denial. He

27:49

had not done any such thing,

27:51

not he himself. Whatever

27:53

there might be, lay at the

27:55

door of a stupid insubordinate servant.

28:00

He had gone about in a stupor all

28:02

the evening. He drank

28:04

some beer because he was parched, but not much.

28:07

The alcohol made his feeling come back,

28:10

and he could not bear it. He

28:12

was dulled, as if nine-tenths

28:14

of the ordinary man in him were inert.

28:18

He crawled about disfigured. Still,

28:22

when he thought of the kicks, he went

28:24

sick, and when he thought

28:26

of the threat of more kicking in the room afterwards,

28:29

his heart went hot and faint, and

28:32

he panted, remembering the one that

28:34

had come. He had

28:36

been forced to say, For my

28:38

girl. He

28:40

was much too done even to want to cry.

28:44

His mouth hung slightly open, like

28:46

an idiot's. He felt

28:48

vacant and wasted. So

28:53

he wandered at his work, painfully

28:55

and very slowly and clumsily,

28:58

fumbling blindly with the brushes, and

29:01

finding it difficult, when he sat down,

29:04

to summon the energy to move again.

29:07

His limbs, his jaw, were

29:09

slack and nervous, but

29:12

he was very tired. He

29:15

got to bed at last and slept

29:17

inert, relaxed, in a sleep

29:19

that was rather stupor than slumber. A

29:22

dead night of stupefaction shot through

29:24

with gleams of anguish. In

29:28

the morning were the maneuvers, but

29:31

he woke even before the bugle sounded. The

29:34

painful ache in his chest, the

29:36

dryness of his throat, the

29:38

awful steady feeling of misery made

29:41

his eyes come awake and dreary at once.

29:44

He knew, without thinking, what had

29:46

happened, and he

29:48

knew that the day had come again, when he

29:52

must go on with his round. The

29:55

last bit of darkness was being pushed out of the

29:58

room. move

30:00

his inert body and go

30:02

on. He

30:04

was so young and had

30:06

known so little trouble that he

30:08

was bewildered. He only

30:10

wished it would stay night so

30:13

that he could lie still, covered

30:15

up by the darkness. And

30:18

yet nothing would prevent the day from coming.

30:20

Nothing would save him from having to get

30:22

up and saddle the captain's

30:25

horse and make the captain's

30:27

coffee. It was there,

30:30

inevitable. And

30:32

then he thought it was impossible, yet

30:34

they would not leave him free. He

30:38

must go and take

30:40

the coffee to the captain. He

30:43

was too stunned to understand it. He

30:46

only knew it was inevitable, inevitable

30:48

however long he lay inert.

30:52

At last, after heaving it

30:54

himself, for he seemed to be a

30:56

mass of inertia, he got up.

31:00

But he had to force every one

31:02

of his movements from behind with his

31:04

will. He felt

31:06

lost and dazed and

31:08

helpless. Then

31:11

he clutched hold of the bed, the pain was

31:13

so keen. And looking at

31:15

his thighs, he saw the darker

31:17

bruises on his swarthy flesh, and he knew

31:19

that if he pressed one of

31:21

his fingers on one of the bruises, he

31:24

should faint. But

31:26

he did not want to faint. He

31:28

did not want anybody to know. No

31:31

one should ever know. It

31:34

was between him and the captain. There

31:36

were only the two people in the world now,

31:39

himself and the captain.

31:43

Slowly, economically, he

31:46

got dressed and forced himself

31:48

to walk. Everything

31:51

was obscure, except just

31:53

what he had his hands on. But

31:55

he managed to get through his work, the

31:58

very pain revealed. revived his dull

32:01

senses. The

32:03

worst remained yet. He

32:06

took the tray and went

32:08

up to the captain's room.

32:10

The officer, pale and heavy,

32:13

sat at the table. The

32:15

orderly, as he saluted, felt

32:17

himself put out of existence. He

32:21

stood still for a moment, submitting to

32:23

his own nullification. Then

32:26

he gathered himself, seemed to

32:28

regain himself, and

32:30

then the captain began to grow vague, unreal,

32:34

and the younger soldier's heart beat up. He

32:37

clung to this situation that the

32:39

captain did not exist, so

32:42

that he himself might

32:45

live. But when he

32:47

saw his officer's hand tremble as he took the

32:49

coffee, he felt

32:51

everything falling shattered, and

32:53

he went away, feeling as

32:55

if he himself were coming to pieces, disintegrated.

32:59

And when the captain was there on

33:01

horseback giving orders while he himself stood,

33:04

with rifle and knapsack, sick

33:06

with pain, he felt as if he

33:08

must shut his eyes, as if

33:10

he must shut his eyes on everything.

33:14

It was only the long agony of marching

33:16

with a parched throat that filled

33:18

him with one single, sleep-heavy

33:20

intention to

33:23

save himself. He

33:31

was getting used even to his parched

33:33

throat, that the

33:35

snowy peaks were radiant among the sky, that

33:38

the whitey green glacier river twisted

33:40

through its pale shoals in the

33:42

valley below, and

33:44

almost supernatural. But

33:47

he was going mad with fever and

33:49

thirst. He plotted

33:51

on, uncomplaining. He

33:54

did not want to speak, not to

33:56

anybody. There

33:58

were two gulls, like flakes of water. of

34:00

water and snow over the river. The

34:03

scent of green rise soaked in sunshine

34:06

came like a sickness, and

34:08

the march continued monotonously,

34:11

almost like a bad sleep. At

34:15

the next farmhouse, which stood

34:17

low and broad near the

34:19

high road, tubs of water had

34:21

been put out. The soldiers

34:24

clustered round to drink. They

34:27

took off their helmets, and the

34:29

steam mounted from their wet hair. The

34:32

captain sat on horseback, watching. He

34:35

needed to see his orderly. His

34:38

helmet threw a dark shadow over his

34:40

light, fierce eyes, but his

34:42

mustache and mouth and chin were distinct

34:44

in the sunshine. The

34:47

orderly must move under the presence of the figure of

34:49

the horseman. It was not

34:51

that he was afraid or cowed. It was

34:53

as if he was disemboweled, made

34:56

empty, like an empty shell. He

34:59

felt himself as nothing, a

35:02

shadow creeping under the sunshine.

35:06

And thirsty as he was, he could scarcely drink,

35:09

feeling the captain near him. He

35:12

would not take off his helmet to wipe his wet

35:14

hair. He

35:16

wanted to stay in shadow, not

35:19

to be forced into consciousness. Starting,

35:22

he saw the light heal of the officer prick the

35:25

belly of the horse. The

35:27

captain cantered away, and

35:29

he himself could relapse into

35:32

vacancy. Nothing,

35:34

however, could give him back his living place

35:37

in the hot, bright morning. He

35:39

felt like a gap among it all. Whereas

35:42

the captain was prouder, overriding,

35:45

a hot flash went through the young servant's body.

35:48

The captain was firmer and prouder with life.

35:51

He himself was empty as a shadow. Again,

35:55

the flash went through him, dazing

35:57

him out. ran

36:00

a little firmer. The

36:02

company turned up the hill to make

36:04

a loop for the return. Below,

36:07

from among the trees, the farm bell clanked.

36:10

He saw the laborers mowing barefoot

36:12

to the thick grass, leave

36:14

off their work and go downhill, their

36:17

sides hanging over their shoulders, like

36:20

long bright claws curving down behind them.

36:23

They seemed like dream people, as

36:26

if they had no relation to himself. He

36:29

felt as if in a blackish dream, as

36:32

if all the other things were there and

36:34

had form, but he himself was

36:37

only a consciousness, a

36:39

gap they could think and perceive.

36:43

The soldiers were tramping silently up

36:45

the glaring hillside. Gradually,

36:47

his head began to revolve slowly,

36:51

rhythmically. Sometimes

36:53

it was dark before his eyes, as

36:56

if he saw this world through a smoked glass,

36:59

frail shadows, and

37:01

unreal. It

37:03

gave him a pain in his head to walk. The

37:07

air was too scented. It gave no

37:09

breath. All the lush

37:12

green stuff seemed to be issuing its sap,

37:15

till the air was deathly, with

37:19

the smell of greenness. There

37:21

was a perfume of clover, like

37:23

pure honey and bees. Then

37:26

there was a faint, acrid tang. They

37:29

were near the beaches. And

37:31

then a queer clattering noise and

37:33

a suffocating, hideous smell. They

37:36

were passing a flock of sheep, a

37:38

shepherd in a black smock holding his crook.

37:42

Why should the sheep huddle together under this

37:44

fierce sun? He felt

37:46

that the shepherd would not see him, though

37:48

he could see the shepherd.

37:51

At last there was a halt. They

37:53

stacked rifles in a conical stack, put

37:56

down their kit in a scattered circle around

37:59

it, and dispersed little, sitting

38:01

on a small knoll high on the

38:03

hillside. The chatter began.

38:06

The soldiers were steaming with heat, but

38:08

were lively. He

38:11

sat still, seeing the

38:13

blue mountains rising upon the land, twenty

38:15

kilometers away. There

38:18

was a blue fold in the ranges, then

38:20

out of that, at the foot, the

38:23

broad pale bed of the river, stretches

38:25

of whitey green water

38:27

between pinkish-gray shoals among

38:30

the dark pine woods. There

38:33

it was, spread out a

38:35

long way off. And

38:37

it seemed to come downhill, the river.

38:41

There was a raft being steered a mile

38:43

away. It was a strange

38:45

country. Nearer, a red-roofed

38:48

broad farm with white base and

38:51

square dots of windows crouched

38:53

beside the wall of beach foliage on

38:56

the woods edge. There

38:58

were long strips of rye and clover and

39:00

pale green corn, and just at

39:02

his feet, below the knoll, was

39:04

a darkish bog, where

39:07

globe flowers stood breathless still

39:09

on their slim stalks. And

39:12

some of the pale gold bubbles were burst,

39:15

and a broken fragment hung in the air. He

39:19

thought he was going to sleep. Suddenly

39:22

something moved into this colored mirage before

39:24

his eyes. The captain, a

39:27

small, light blue and scarlet figure, was

39:30

trotting evenly between the strips of

39:32

corn, along the level brow of

39:34

the hill. And the

39:36

man making flag signals was coming on. Proud

39:39

and sure moved the horseman's figure, the

39:42

quick, bright thing, in which

39:44

was concentrated all the light of this morning, which

39:47

for the rest lay a fragile,

39:49

shining shadow. a

40:00

walk coming up the last steep path.

40:03

The great flash flared over the body

40:05

and soul of the Orderly. He

40:08

sat, waiting. The

40:10

back of his head felt as if it were weighted with

40:12

a heavy piece of fire. He

40:15

did not want to eat. His

40:17

hands trembled slightly as he moved them.

40:20

Meanwhile, the officer on horseback was approaching,

40:23

slowly and proudly. The

40:26

tension grew in the Orderly's soul. Then

40:29

again, seeing the Captain ease

40:31

himself on the saddle, the

40:33

flash blazed through him. The

40:37

Captain looked at the patch of light blue

40:39

and scarlet and dark heads scattered closely on

40:41

the hillside. It pleased him.

40:44

The command pleased him, and he was

40:46

feeling proud. His Orderly

40:49

was among them in common subjection. The

40:52

officer rose a little on his stirrups to look.

40:55

The young soldier sat with

40:58

averted, dumb face. The

41:01

Captain relaxed on his seat. His

41:03

slim-legged, beautiful horse, brown as

41:05

a beechnut, walked proudly

41:08

uphill. The

41:10

Captain passed into the zone of the company's

41:12

atmosphere, a hot smell of

41:15

men, of sweat, of leather. He

41:18

knew it very well. After

41:20

a word with the Captain, he

41:22

went a few paces higher and sat there,

41:25

a dominant figure, his

41:27

sweat-marked horse swishing its tail, while

41:30

he looked down on his men on his

41:32

Orderly, a nonentity among

41:34

the crowd. The

41:36

young soldier's heart was like fire in

41:39

his chest, and he breathed with difficulty.

41:42

The officer looking downhill saw three of

41:44

the young soldiers, two pails

41:46

of water between them, staggering across

41:48

a sunny green field. A

41:51

table had been set up under a tree,

41:53

and there the slim lieutenant

41:55

stood, importantly busy. Then

41:58

the Captain summoned himself to an accident. of courage,

42:01

he called his orderly. The

42:04

name leapt into the young soldier's throat as he

42:07

heard the command, and he

42:09

rose blindly stifled. He

42:12

saluted, standing below the

42:14

officer. He did not look

42:16

up, but there was the

42:18

flicker in the captain's voice. "'Go

42:21

to the inn and fetch me!' The

42:24

officer gave his commands. "'Quick!' he

42:27

added. At the last

42:29

word, the heart of the servant left with a flash, and

42:32

he felt the strength come over his body. He

42:35

turned in mechanical obedience

42:39

and set on at a

42:41

heavy run downhill. Looking

42:44

almost like a bear, his trousers

42:46

bagging over his military boots, and

42:49

the officer watched his blind, plunging

42:51

run all the way. But

42:55

it was only the outside of the

42:57

orderly's body that was obeying so humbly

42:59

and mechanically. Inside

43:01

had gradually accumulated a core into

43:04

which all the energy of that young life

43:06

was compact and concentrated. He

43:09

executed his commission and plotted quickly

43:12

back uphill. There

43:14

was a pain in his head as he walked, and

43:17

that made him twist his features unknowingly. But

43:20

hard there in the center of his

43:22

chest was himself. Himself,

43:25

firm and not to be plucked

43:27

to pieces. The

43:30

captain had gone up into the wood. The

43:33

orderly plotted through the hot, powerfully smelling

43:35

zone of the company's atmosphere. He

43:38

had a curious mass of energy inside him now. The

43:41

captain was less real than himself. He

43:44

approached the green entrance to the wood. There

43:47

in the half shade he saw the horse

43:49

standing, the sunshine, and the

43:52

tuckering shadow of leaves dancing over

43:54

his brown body. There

43:56

was a clearing where timber had lately been

43:58

felled. Here, in the

44:01

gold-green shade beside the brilliant cup

44:03

of sunshine, stood two

44:06

figures, blue and pink,

44:08

the bits of pink showing out plainly.

44:12

The captain was talking to his lieutenant. The

44:15

orderly stood on the edge of the bright clearing, where

44:17

great trunks of trees, stripped

44:19

and gliffening, lay stretched

44:22

like naked brown-skinned bodies.

44:25

Toss of wood littered the trampled floor,

44:28

like splashed light, and the

44:30

bases of the felled trees stood here and there,

44:32

with their raw level tops. Beyond

44:35

was the brilliant sunlit green of a

44:37

beach. Then I will

44:39

ride forward. The orderly heard

44:41

his captain say. The

44:44

lieutenant saluted and strode away. He

44:47

himself went forward. A

44:49

hot flash passed through his belly as

44:52

he tramped towards his officer. The

44:56

captain watched the rather heavy figure of

44:58

the young soldier stumble forward, and

45:00

his veins too ran hot. This

45:04

was to be man-to-man between them. He

45:07

yielded before the solid, stumbling

45:09

figure with bent head. The

45:12

orderly stooped and put the food

45:14

on a level sawn tree base. The

45:18

captain watched the glistening, sun-inflamed

45:20

naked hands. He

45:22

wanted to speak to the young soldier, but could

45:25

not. The servant

45:27

propped a bottle against his thigh, pressed

45:30

open the cork, and poured out the

45:32

beer into the muck. He

45:34

kept his head bent. The

45:36

captain accepted the muck. Hot,

45:40

he said, as if amiably. The

45:43

flame sprang out of the orderly's heart, nearly

45:46

suffocating him. Yes, sir, he

45:49

replied between shut teeth. He

45:52

heard the sound of the captain's drinking, and

45:54

he clenched his fists. Such

45:56

a strong torment came into his wrists. became

46:00

the faint clang of the closing of the pot

46:02

lid. He looked up. The

46:05

captain was watching him. He

46:07

glanced swiftly away. Then

46:10

he saw the officer stoop and take a piece of

46:12

bread from the tree base. Again

46:14

the flash of flame went through the

46:16

young soldier, seeing the stiff-bodied stoop beneath

46:19

him, and his hands jerked. He

46:22

looked away. He could feel

46:24

the officer was nervous. The

46:26

bread fell as it was being broken. The

46:29

officer ate the other piece. The

46:31

two men stood, tense and

46:33

still. The master laboriously

46:36

chewing his bread. The

46:38

servant, staring with averted face, his

46:41

fist clenched. Then

46:43

the young soldier started. The

46:45

officer had pressed open the lid of the mug again. He

46:49

orderly watched the lid of the mug and

46:51

the white hand that clenched the handle, as

46:54

if he were fascinated. He

46:56

was raised. The youth

46:58

followed it with his eyes, and

47:01

then he saw the thin, strong throat of

47:03

the elder man moving up and down as

47:05

he drank, the strong jaw

47:08

working. And

47:10

the instinct, which had been jerking at

47:12

the young man's wrists, suddenly jerked free.

47:15

He jumped, feeling as if it

47:17

were rent in two by a strong flame. The

47:20

spur of the officer caught in a tree root. He

47:23

went down backwards with a crash,

47:25

the middle of his back thudding

47:27

sickeningly against a sharp-edged tree base,

47:29

the pot flying away. And

47:32

in a second, the orderly with serious,

47:34

earnest young face and underlipped between his

47:36

teeth had got his knee

47:38

in the officer's chest and was

47:40

pressing the chin backward over the

47:42

farther edge of the tree stump,

47:44

pressing, with all his heart behind

47:46

in a passion of relief, the

47:48

tension of his wrists exquisite with

47:51

relief. And with the base

47:53

of his palms, he shoved at the chin with

47:55

all his might. And it was

47:57

pleasant, too, to have that chin, That

48:00

hard jaw, already slightly rough with

48:02

beard, in his hands. He

48:05

did not relax one hair's breath, but

48:07

all the force of all his blood

48:09

exalting in his thrust. He

48:12

shoved back the head of the other man, till

48:14

there was little cluck and a

48:17

crunching sensation. Then

48:19

he felt as if his head went to

48:21

vapor. Heavy convulsions

48:23

shook the body of the officer, frightening

48:26

and horrifying the young soldier. But

48:29

it pleased him, too, to

48:31

repress them. It

48:33

pleased him to keep his hands pressing back

48:35

the chin, to feel the

48:37

chest of the other man yield in expiration

48:39

to the weight of his strong young knees,

48:43

to feel the hard twitchings of the

48:45

prostrate body jerking his own whole frame,

48:47

which was pressed down on it. But

48:51

it went still. He

48:53

could look into the nostrils of the other man, the

48:56

eyes he could scarcely see. But

48:59

curiously the mouth was pushed out, exaggerating

49:01

the full lips and

49:03

the mustache bristling up from them. Then,

49:08

with a start, he noticed

49:10

the nostrils gradually filled with blood.

49:13

The red, brimmed, hesitated,

49:17

ran over, and went in a

49:19

thin trickle down the face to the eyes.

49:24

It shocked and distressed him. Slowly

49:26

he got up. The body

49:29

twitched and sprawled there, inert.

49:32

He stood and looked at it

49:34

in silence. It

49:37

was a pity it was broken. It

49:39

represented more than the thing which had kicked

49:41

and bullied him. He

49:44

was afraid to look at the eyes. They

49:46

were hideous now, only the

49:48

whites showing and the blood running to them.

49:52

The face of the orderly was drawn with horror at

49:54

the sight. Well, it

49:57

was so. And

49:59

it's hard. He was satisfied.

50:03

He had hated the face of the captain. He

50:06

was extinguished now. There

50:08

was a heavy relief in the

50:10

orderly's soul. That

50:13

was as it should be. But

50:15

he could not bear to see the long

50:18

military body lying broken over the tree base.

50:20

The fine fingers crisped. He

50:23

wanted to hide it away. Quickly,

50:26

busily, he gathered it up

50:28

and pushed it under the felled tree trunks,

50:31

which rested their beautiful smooth

50:33

length either end on logs.

50:36

The face was horrible with blood. He

50:39

covered it with the helmet. Then

50:41

he pushed the limbs straight and decent and

50:45

brushed the dead leaves off the fine cloth

50:47

of the uniform. So

50:50

it lay quite still in the shadow under

50:52

there. A

50:54

little strip of sunshine ran along the breast from

50:57

a chink between the logs. The

50:59

orderly sat by it for a few moments. Here

51:03

his own life also ended.

51:08

Then through his days he heard the lieutenant in

51:10

a loud voice explaining to the men

51:12

outside the wood that they were to suppose

51:14

the bridge on the river below was held

51:16

by the enemy. Now they

51:18

were to march to the attack in such and such a

51:21

manner. The lieutenant had no gift

51:23

of expression. The orderly,

51:25

listening from habit, got muddled. And

51:28

when the lieutenant began it all again, he ceased to

51:30

hear. He knew he must go.

51:34

He stood up. It surprised him

51:36

that the leaves were glittering in the sun and

51:38

the chips of wood reflecting white from the ground.

51:42

For him a chain should come over the world. But

51:45

for the rest it had not. All

51:49

seemed the same. Suddenly

51:52

he had left it and he

51:54

could not go back. It

51:56

was his duty to return with the beer pot

51:58

and the bottle. He

52:01

could not. He had

52:03

left all that. The

52:05

lieutenant was still hoarsely explaining. He

52:08

must go, for they would overtake

52:10

him, and he could not bear

52:12

contact with anyone now. He

52:15

drew his fingers over his eyes, trying to find

52:17

out where he was. Then

52:19

he turned away. He saw

52:21

the horse standing in the path. He

52:24

went up to it and mounted. It hurt

52:26

him to sit in the saddle. The

52:28

pain of keeping his seat occupied him as

52:30

they cantered through the wood. He

52:33

would not have minded anything, but he

52:35

could not get away from the sense of being

52:37

divided from the others. The

52:39

path led out of the trees. On

52:42

the edge of the wood he pulled up and stood, watching.

52:46

There, in the spacious

52:48

sunshine of the valley, soldiers

52:50

were moving in a little swarm. Every

52:53

now and then a man, harrowing on a

52:56

strip of fallow, shouted to his oxen at

52:58

the turn. The

53:00

village and the white-towered church was

53:03

small in the sunshine, and

53:06

he no longer belonged to it. He

53:08

sat there beyond, like

53:11

a man outside in the dark. He

53:14

had gone out from everyday life into

53:16

the unknown, and he could not, even

53:19

did not want, to go back. Coming

53:23

from the sun-blazing valley, he

53:25

rode deep into the wood. Tree

53:28

trunks, like people standing gray

53:30

and still, took no notice as

53:32

he went. A doe, herself

53:35

a moving bit of sunshine and shadow, went

53:37

running through the flecked shade. There

53:40

were bright green rents in the foliage. Then

53:43

it was all pine wood, dark

53:46

and cool. And

53:48

he was sick with pain. He

53:50

had an intolerable great pulse in his head,

53:53

and he was sick. He

53:56

had never been ill in his life. He

53:58

felt lost, quite dazed. with all this.

54:02

Trying to get down from the horse, he fell,

54:04

astonished at the pain and his lack of balance.

54:07

The horse shifted uneasily. He jerked its

54:09

bridle and sent it cantering jerkily away.

54:12

It was his last connection with the

54:14

rest of things. But

54:16

he only wanted to lie down and not

54:18

be disturbed. Stumbling

54:20

through the trees, he came on

54:23

a quiet place where beaches and pine trees

54:25

grew on a slope. Slowly

54:27

he had lain down and closed his eyes. His

54:30

consciousness went racing on without him. A

54:33

big pulse of sickness beat in him, as

54:35

if it had throbbed through the whole earth. He

54:38

was burning with dry heat. But

54:41

he was too busy, too tearingly

54:43

active in the incoherent race of

54:45

delirium to observe. He

54:53

came too with a start. His

54:56

mouth was dry and hard.

54:59

His heart beat heavily. But

55:01

he had not the energy to get up. His

55:04

heart beat heavily. Where

55:06

was he? The barracks? At

55:09

home? There was

55:12

something knocking and

55:14

making an effort he looked round. Trees

55:18

and litter of greenery and

55:21

reddish night. Still

55:23

pieces of sunshine on the floor. He

55:26

did not believe he was himself, did

55:29

not believe what he saw. Something

55:32

was knocking. He

55:35

made a struggle toward consciousness but relapsed.

55:39

Then he struggled again, and gradually

55:41

his surroundings fell into relationship with

55:44

himself. He

55:46

knew, and a great

55:48

pang of fear went through his heart. He

55:52

was knocking. He could see

55:54

the heavy black rags of a fir tree

55:56

overhead. Then

55:58

everything went black. Yet

56:00

he did not believe he had closed his eyes. He

56:03

had not. Out

56:06

of the blackness sight

56:08

slowly emerged again, and

56:10

someone was knocking. Quickly

56:13

he saw the blood-disfigured face of his

56:15

captain, which he hated, and he held

56:18

himself still with horror. Yet

56:21

deep inside him he knew that it was so.

56:24

The captain should be dead. And

56:28

the physical delirium got hold of him. Someone

56:31

was knocking. He lay

56:33

perfectly still as if dead, with

56:36

fear. And

56:38

he went unconscious. When

56:41

he opened his eyes again, he started

56:43

seeing something creeping swiftly up a tree trunk.

56:47

It was a little bird, and the

56:49

bird was whistling overhead. Tap,

56:52

tap, tap. It

56:54

was the small, quick bird wrapping the

56:56

tree trunk with its beak, as

56:58

if its head were a little round hammer. He

57:02

watched it curiously. It

57:05

shifted sharply in its creeping fashion. Then,

57:08

like a mouse, it slid down

57:10

the bear trunk. Its

57:13

swift creeping sent a flash of revulsion through

57:15

him. He raised

57:17

his head. It felt

57:19

a great weight. Then

57:21

the little bird ran out of the shadow

57:24

across a still patch of sunshine, its little

57:26

head bobbing swiftly, its

57:28

white legs twinkling brightly for a moment. How

57:31

neat it was in its build! So

57:34

compact, with pieces of white

57:36

on its wings. There

57:39

were several of them. They were

57:41

so pretty. But they crept

57:43

like swift erratic mice running here and there

57:45

among the beach mast. He

57:48

lay down again, exhausted, and

57:51

his consciousness lapsed. He

57:54

had a horror of the little creeping birds.

57:57

All his blood seemed to be darting and creeping in

57:59

his head. And. Yet

58:01

He could not move. He

58:04

came to with a further a give exhaustion. There.

58:06

Was a pain in his head. And

58:08

the horrible sickness. And his

58:10

inability to move. He

58:12

had never been ill in his life. He

58:15

did not know where he was or what he

58:17

was. Probably. He had

58:19

got sunstroke. Or. What?

58:22

Else. He

58:24

had silenced the captain forever. Some

58:27

time ago. Of a long

58:29

time ago. Third, And

58:31

blood on his face. And

58:33

his eyes had turned up once. It

58:36

was. All right, Somehow.

58:39

It was peace. But.

58:42

Now he had got beyond himself. He'd

58:45

never been here before. Was.

58:48

A life for not life. He.

58:51

Was by himself. They

58:53

run a big. Bright. Place those

58:56

others. And. He was

58:58

outside. The town.

59:00

All the country, a big bright place

59:02

of light. And he was

59:05

outside. Here. In

59:07

the dark and open beyond. Where

59:10

each thing existed alone. But.

59:13

They would all have to come out there

59:16

sometime. Those others. Little. And

59:18

left behind him. They all were. There.

59:21

Had been father and mother and sweetheart.

59:24

What? Did they all matter? This.

59:26

Was the open land? He

59:28

sat up. Something. Scuffled. It

59:32

was little brown squirrel running and

59:34

lovely undulating bounds over the floor.

59:37

It's. Red tail completing the undulation of

59:39

it's body. And then

59:41

as it set up for rolling and unfurling.

59:44

He wants that. Pleased.

59:47

It. Ran on fiscally enjoying itself.

59:50

If lou wildly at another squirrel

59:52

and they were chasing each other

59:54

and making little scolding, shattering noises.

59:57

the soldier wanted to speak to them but

1:00:00

only a hoarse sound came out of his throat. The

1:00:03

squirrels burst away. They flew up the

1:00:05

trees, and then he saw the one

1:00:07

peeping round at him, halfway up a

1:00:09

tree trunk. A start

1:00:12

of fear went through him, though, insofar

1:00:14

as he was conscious, he was amused. It

1:00:18

still stayed, its little

1:00:20

keen face staring at him halfway

1:00:22

up the tree trunk, its little

1:00:24

ears pricked up, its clawy

1:00:27

little hands clinging to the bark, its

1:00:29

white breast reared. He

1:00:32

started from it in panic. Struggling

1:00:34

to his feet, he lurched away. He

1:00:37

went on walking. Walking,

1:00:40

looking for something for a drink. His

1:00:43

brain felt hot and inflamed for want

1:00:45

of water. He stumbled

1:00:47

on. Then

1:00:49

he did not know anything. He

1:00:52

went unconscious as he walked. Yet

1:00:55

he stumbled on, his mouth

1:00:57

open. When, to his

1:01:01

dumb wonder, he opened his eyes

1:01:03

on the world again, he no

1:01:05

longer tried to remember what it was. There

1:01:08

was thick, golden light behind

1:01:10

golden-green glitterings and

1:01:13

tall gray-purple shafts and

1:01:15

darkness further off surrounding

1:01:17

him, growing deeper. He

1:01:21

was conscious of a sense of arrival. He

1:01:24

was amid the reality on

1:01:26

the real, dark bottom.

1:01:30

But there was the thirst burning in his brain.

1:01:33

He felt lighter, not so heavy.

1:01:37

He supposed it was the newness. The

1:01:40

air was muttering with thunder. He

1:01:43

thought he was walking wonderfully swiftly and

1:01:45

was coming straight to relief. Or

1:01:47

was it to water? Suddenly

1:01:50

he stood still with fear.

1:01:53

There was a tremendous flare of gold,

1:01:55

immense, just a few dark trunks

1:01:57

like bars between him and it. All

1:02:01

the young-level wheat was burnished gold

1:02:03

glaring on its silky green. A

1:02:07

woman, full-skirted, a black cloth

1:02:09

on her head for headdress, was

1:02:11

passing like a block of shadow through the

1:02:14

glistening green corn into the

1:02:16

full glare. There

1:02:18

was a farm, too, pale

1:02:20

blue in shadow and the timber

1:02:22

black, and there was

1:02:24

a church spire nearly fused away in the

1:02:26

gold. The woman moved

1:02:28

on, away from him. He

1:02:31

had no language with which to speak to her. She

1:02:34

was the bright, solid unreality.

1:02:38

She would make a noise of words that would confuse

1:02:40

him, and her eyes would look at

1:02:42

him without seeing him. She

1:02:45

was crossing there to the other side. He

1:02:47

stood against a tree. When

1:02:50

at last he turned, looking down the

1:02:52

long, bare grove whose flat bed was

1:02:54

already filling the lake, he

1:02:56

saw the mountains in a wonderlight not

1:02:59

far away and radiant. Behind

1:03:02

the soft gray ridge of the nearest range, the

1:03:05

further mountains stood golden and pale

1:03:07

gray, the snow all radiant

1:03:10

like pure soft gold, so

1:03:13

still gleaming in

1:03:15

the sky. Fashioned

1:03:18

pure out of the oar of the sky, they

1:03:21

shone in their silence. He

1:03:25

stood and looked at them, his

1:03:27

face illuminated, and

1:03:30

like the golden, lustrous gleaming of the snow,

1:03:32

he felt his own

1:03:34

thirst bright in him. He

1:03:37

stood and gazed, leaning

1:03:40

against a tree, and

1:03:43

then everything slid away into space. In

1:03:46

the night, the lightning fluttered

1:03:49

perpetually, making the whole sky

1:03:51

white. He

1:03:54

must have walked again. The

1:03:56

world hung livid round him for moments, Fields,

1:03:59

a level sheet. Of gray, green,

1:04:01

light, trees, And Dark Bolt.

1:04:04

And the range of clouds black against

1:04:06

a white sky. Than.

1:04:09

The darkness fell like a shudder and the night

1:04:11

was whole. Thing. mutter.

1:04:13

And. A half revealed world. The. Could

1:04:16

not quite bleep out of the darkness. Than.

1:04:19

Their against to the sweep of Paler for

1:04:21

the land. Dark shapes looming,

1:04:23

a range of clouds hanging overhead.

1:04:26

The world was a ghostly shadow.

1:04:28

Thrown for a moment upon the pure

1:04:31

darkness which returned to ever whole. And.

1:04:33

Complete. And

1:04:36

the mere delirium of sickness and fever

1:04:38

went on inside him. His brain

1:04:40

opening and shutting like the night. And

1:04:43

sometimes convulsions of terror from something

1:04:45

with great eyes that stared rounded

1:04:47

tree. Than the long

1:04:49

agony of the march and the sun

1:04:51

decomposing his blood. Than. The

1:04:54

paying of hate for the captain followed by

1:04:56

a pang of tenderness. And. Ease.

1:04:59

But. Everything was distorted. Born.

1:05:01

Of an ache and resolving into a

1:05:03

make. In the

1:05:06

morning he came definitely awake. Then.

1:05:08

His brain flamed with the sole

1:05:10

horror of thirsting us. The.

1:05:13

Sun was on his face. the do

1:05:15

a steaming from is what close. Like.

1:05:17

One possessed. he got out. There

1:05:20

street in front of him.

1:05:22

Blue and cool and tender.

1:05:25

The. Mountains ranged across the pale edge

1:05:27

of the morning sky. He

1:05:29

wanted them. He wanted

1:05:32

them alone. He wanted

1:05:34

to leave himself and be identified with.

1:05:37

They. Did not move. They. Were

1:05:39

still. And. Soft. With.

1:05:42

White, gentle markings of

1:05:44

snow. He. Stood

1:05:46

still. Mad. With suffering. As

1:05:49

and Crispin and clutching. Then

1:05:51

he was twisting and a paroxysms on the grass.

1:05:55

He lay still. And a kind of

1:05:57

dream of the. his

1:05:59

thirst seemed to have separated itself

1:06:01

from him and to stand apart

1:06:04

a single demand. Then

1:06:07

the pain he felt was another single self. Then

1:06:10

there was the clog of his body, another

1:06:13

separate thing. He

1:06:15

was divided among all kinds of separate

1:06:17

beings. There was some

1:06:19

strange, agonized connection between

1:06:21

them that they were

1:06:24

drawing further apart. Then

1:06:26

they would all split. His

1:06:29

son, drilling down on him,

1:06:31

was drilling through the bond. Then

1:06:34

they would all fall, fall

1:06:36

through the everlasting lapse of space.

1:06:40

Then again, his consciousness

1:06:42

reasserted itself. He

1:06:44

roused onto his elbow and stared at

1:06:46

the gleaming mountains. There

1:06:49

they ranked, all still and wonderful,

1:06:51

between earth and heaven. He

1:06:54

stared till his eyes went black, and

1:06:57

the mountains, as they stood in their

1:06:59

beauty, so clean and cool, seemed

1:07:01

to have it, that which

1:07:04

was lost in him. When

1:07:13

the soldiers found him three hours later,

1:07:16

he was lying with his face over his arm,

1:07:19

his black hair giving off heat under the sun.

1:07:23

But he was still alive. Seeing

1:07:25

the open black mouth, the young

1:07:27

soldiers dropped him in horror. He

1:07:30

died in the hospital at night, without

1:07:32

having seen again. The

1:07:36

doctor saw the bruises on his legs,

1:07:38

behind, and were silent. The

1:07:41

bodies of the two men lay together, side

1:07:43

by side, in the mortuary, the

1:07:46

one white and slender, but

1:07:49

laid rigidly at rest. The

1:07:51

other looking as if, every moment, it

1:07:54

must rouse into life again, so

1:07:56

young and unused From

1:07:58

a slumber. Major

1:08:13

Harrison. I hope you enjoyed

1:08:15

this unabridged production. Of the

1:08:17

Prussian officer by Dh. Lawrence. If.

1:08:20

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