0:04

Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz

0:06

Show on iHeartRadio. I've been

0:08

thinking about that interview that I did with

0:10

Tim Carney from a few days ago.

0:13

If you haven't picked up his book Family

0:15

Unfriendly, you really should. And

0:17

if you haven't listened to the interview, I also

0:20

highly recommend that. I'm on the New York Times

0:22

email list, and they sent out

0:25

a podcast episode recently

0:27

with this tease quote. Ultimately,

0:30

as Ezra and his guests discuss, the problem

0:32

may not be the fertility rate itself.

0:35

Rather, we've created a problem of stifled

0:37

desire. American families want

0:39

more children than they end up having. Perhaps

0:42

we've become pro child but anti

0:44

children. Parents devote so

0:46

much time and energy to optimizing

0:48

a single child's life that the

0:51

effort feels difficult to replicate. Until

0:53

policy and parenting culture become

0:55

more forgiving, families may continue

0:58

to shrink, whether people want them to or

1:00

not. I have this joke that when

1:02

someone says, society says, or culture

1:05

tells us to.

1:06

They just me and their mom.

1:07

So, you know, Tim and I talked about this in

1:10

the interview, and the truth

1:12

is that the easier way

1:14

to have a lot of kids is to

1:16

let go a little bit? Does culture force

1:19

us to be helicopter parents? I

1:21

live in that same culture, and I don't feel

1:23

that pressure. I was a latchkey kid

1:25

and I had my brother five years younger

1:28

than me to contend with. Also,

1:30

he was always under my care after

1:32

school. So maybe I just don't

1:35

have my mom in my ear

1:37

pressuring me to do more or to

1:39

oversee more because she

1:42

didn't. The New York Times email also

1:44

faces an important point quote

1:47

fertility rates are falling, in some cases

1:49

below replacement levels, even in countries

1:52

like Sweden and Japan that have invested

1:54

far more in family support policies

1:56

than the United States has. What's

1:58

behind this? Cross cultural client in births?

2:01

Can generous work family policies

2:03

enable people to feel like they can realistically

2:05

have larger families?

2:06

End quote?

2:07

It turns out it's not government support

2:10

that leads to more kids. I

2:12

love pointing out that birth rates

2:14

in Spain actually declined when

2:16

men got more generous paternity leave.

2:19

They saw how.

2:19

Hard it was and were like, no more of

2:21

this. So how do we.

2:23

Get parents to relax in their parenting

2:25

and allow themselves to let go a

2:27

little? How do we get them to understand

2:30

that our kids will not be perfect.

2:32

We shouldn't even be striving for perfection.

2:35

We should just want.

2:35

Happy children who become functioning

2:38

adults. Tim on the show

2:40

said that he wants his kids to have

2:42

what their family has now, happiness,

2:45

love, togetherness. This isn't that

2:47

hard, and I feel the same way.

2:50

If my kids get what

2:52

we have right now as a family, I will

2:54

consider that a huge success.

2:56

If you haven't read the book Free Range Kids,

2:59

How Parents and tea teachers Can Let Go and Let

3:01

Grow by Lenora Skenazi. She's

3:03

the founder of the Free Range Kids movement.

3:06

She let her nine year old take the

3:08

New York City subway and it was a

3:10

huge deal and talked about in a lot

3:12

of different places. I highly recommend

3:15

that book. One of her famous lines

3:17

is quote, we have to learn to

3:19

remind the other parents who think we're being

3:21

careless when we loosen our grip, that we

3:24

are actually trying to teach our children

3:26

how to get along in the world, and that

3:28

we believe this is our job. A

3:30

child who can fend for himself is a lot

3:32

safer than the one forever coddled,

3:35

because the coddle child will not have

3:37

mom or dad around all the time, even

3:40

though they act as if he will.

3:43

If you're not having kids because you need

3:45

everything to be perfect and your kids

3:47

to be perfect and your parenting to be

3:49

perfect, you're quite literally

3:51

doing it wrong. Let go you

3:54

and your children will absolutely be better

3:57

for it. Coming up next, an interview

3:59

with internet legend Comfortably Smug

4:01

or Smuggy for short, as I like to call

4:03

him. Join us after the break.

4:09

Welcome back to the Carol and Markowitz Show on

4:11

iHeartRadio. My guest today

4:13

is Comfortably Smug, co host

4:15

of Ruthless podcast.

4:17

Hi Smug, thanks for having me on.

4:19

Thank you so much for coming on. I feel like, you

4:21

know, you're such a big celebrity now, it's like hard

4:23

to get in touch with you, hard to get on you know you

4:26

on the show.

4:26

But likewise, likewise, I'm

4:29

happy to see the show doing so well.

4:30

Thank you. So. I've known you a

4:33

long time since really

4:35

the early days of Twitter, when

4:37

you are sort of one of the few people really

4:39

having fun on the platform, and I think

4:41

that's, you know, still kind of a mis miserable

4:44

place to be, but you're still kind of enjoying yourself.

4:46

Do you still think it's fun?

4:48

Absolutely?

4:50

I will say that it was a completely

4:52

different vibe like in the early days,

4:54

like us are our

4:56

circle friends that we used to have in yeah, the city,

5:00

we would have like a ninety percent chance of

5:02

if you met someone from Twitter that they're like a

5:04

normal, well adjusted person. And

5:07

now like Elon Tweiteter the other day, it's like PvP, like

5:09

it's a it's a battle arena now essentially,

5:12

so it has changed in that aspect.

5:14

But at least we had the early days, right, Yeah,

5:17

I.

5:17

Mean they were pretty good. I don't know, you still have

5:19

your minions, you know when I am out

5:21

there in the world. I sometimes you and

5:23

I have this running joke where we call each other libs.

5:25

I mean you are a lib but whatever. But

5:28

you know, all have people, you know, Matt

5:30

Matthew Foley, but other people also be like,

5:32

you know, smug is really not a lib. I don't

5:34

know why you call him that. Wonderful

5:38

one of our jokes, you know, Yeah, they

5:40

really love you.

5:41

That's the outside is I think. You know, Twitter

5:43

actually is a great place to build a community, and

5:46

you meet lots of wonderful folks, like

5:48

minded folks, folks that you have something different with.

5:51

But if you use it for that purpose as

5:53

like a community and and and folks

5:55

who are actually positive when they engage

5:57

with each other.

5:58

That's the best use for it.

6:00

And you know, I think a lot of people see it as

6:02

just like a toxic place to look

6:04

for trouble, and that's a shame. But

6:06

I really appreciate being

6:08

able to build such community on there.

6:10

Yeah, so your podcast

6:13

Ruthless is huge. I was at

6:15

a you know, a few years ago, at a I don't

6:17

know, I think he was ten years old, the kids birthday

6:19

party, and he found out that

6:21

I know you, and it became like the

6:23

biggest celebrity in the whole wide world. And

6:26

you called him. Shout out to Lewis.

6:29

But I just feel like it's everywhere and you guys are

6:31

interviewing everyone, and you really

6:33

do seem like you're having a good time. What

6:35

would you be doing if you weren't doing this.

6:38

Boy, I

6:40

would number one. I probably wouldn't have

6:42

to spend so much time in Washington, DC. That's

6:45

probably the most positive thing, right,

6:47

I would say, you know, I honestly,

6:49

I probably wouldn't be as happy the

6:53

group that we have here on Ruthless. Ashbrook

6:56

Duncan Holmes you

6:58

know, we're not just co host and business partners

7:00

are really good friends, and you know, you can kind

7:02

of get that off of listening to the show where it feels

7:04

more like hanging out with your friends than you

7:06

know, hearing a lecture or something like that.

7:09

And for us, like, yeah, it's

7:11

it's a business, but at the same time, it's like at

7:14

least two days a week we get to hang out, shoot

7:16

the breeze, have a great time, and

7:19

I think it's good to have that, Like, you

7:21

know, especially when we started during COVID,

7:24

everyone was like shut in. It was a lot

7:26

of isolation, and so.

7:29

It was great.

7:29

We would hang out over Zoom and like

7:32

bet on horse races and drink bourbon once a week.

7:34

We're like, you know, this would actually make a pretty good show,

7:36

and it ended up doing that.

7:38

Do you feel like you've made it?

7:41

Not yet?

7:42

No.

7:43

We On our show, we always say there's two types

7:46

of folks. There's you know, the sunshine

7:48

warriors, the folks who like

7:50

reflecting on their winds, the happy

7:52

warrior type, and then there's kind

7:54

of like the agony of defeat kind of person,

7:57

kind of like Michael Jordan, where they're always

7:59

driven by our I'm bring their failures. So you

8:03

know, I'm always grateful for all

8:05

the good stuff that happens, but I don't

8:07

feel like I've really made it yet more. The

8:09

more things I focus on is things I

8:11

can get better at and just

8:13

keep marching up that hill.

8:15

Do you get recognized a lot?

8:18

You know, It's funny when

8:20

I wear these shades, which is, you know, to

8:23

hide my identity. So I go to a grocery

8:25

store and not worry about, uh,

8:27

you know, a protester coming after me or something. But when

8:30

I wear the shades, I get recognized.

8:32

So you know, if I'm traveling

8:35

or something and I'm

8:37

in the airport and I'll wear my shades, especially

8:39

like you know, DCA or something like that, uh,

8:42

you know, folks will pull me over. And I'm always happy, you

8:44

know, to meet listeners.

8:46

Right. And

8:48

the funniest thing though, was I was traveling with

8:50

family in Nashville

8:53

and I was I was meeting

8:55

them there. I got to the hotel first, so I

8:57

go to the hotel bar, grabbing

8:59

a drink.

8:59

I start talking to the bartender.

9:01

Wait with or without your shades, without

9:03

my shades, without your shades.

9:05

And this is before we even started video and

9:08

I had two folks at the bar say, excuse

9:11

me, have you heard of the Roofless podcast?

9:14

Just heal the voice talking.

9:18

So it's wild. You know, it's a small world.

9:20

I guess.

9:21

Yeah. Do you like it? Like, do you like

9:24

being recognized? I feel like it's

9:26

a mixed bag.

9:27

So, uh, if they're listeners,

9:29

yes, yeah.

9:31

So if it's like, oh, you know that you're

9:33

an authoritarian or something like that, you know, then

9:36

less right, Yeah, that's that's less and you

9:38

know, honestly, that doesn't happen very often

9:40

at all. I guess unfortunate in the sense

9:42

that anytime I am recognized, you know, typically

9:44

it is a lister h and I'm

9:47

always always happy and thrilled to meet with

9:49

them.

9:49

That's that's a really nice Like I

9:52

feel like you, you your perception

9:54

of you on Twitter is not this like,

9:57

you know, nice squishy guy who like

10:00

would be so you know, sweet to people.

10:02

I mean, I I know you like that, but I feel like

10:04

you're Twitter.

10:08

Don't tell anyone otherwise, Oh,

10:10

I tell.

10:10

Everybody You're horrible, But every we know, we

10:12

know the truth, you know, So

10:15

why are you going to give your mom grandchildren?

10:17

You goddamn millennial.

10:18

Yeah, that's the thing I'm actually

10:21

I'm working on that. That's actually on the to do

10:23

list. I'm not the you know, legions

10:25

of folks who are worried about

10:27

climate change and so they're not going to have kids. Definitely

10:30

a firm believer in having kids, and I

10:32

always love giving parenting advice. I was

10:34

fortunate to have good parents, so I'm

10:36

always happy to part that even before I myself

10:38

i am a parent.

10:40

So do you live in the DC area? Are you open

10:43

about where you are?

10:44

Sure? I live in North Carolina.

10:46

I also keep a place in d

10:48

C because I have to record the show a couple of days

10:50

a week.

10:52

But the less I'm in d C, the better, honestly,

10:55

for sure.

10:55

You and I used to live, both of us in Park

10:58

Slope, Brooklyn.

10:59

Do you I missed

11:01

the Park Slope we lived in. I

11:03

would say COVID really changed New

11:06

York City. All my favorite

11:09

my favorite pizza restaurant, favorite tire restaurant,

11:11

my favorite Chinese restaurant, my favorite bar.

11:13

Is all permanently closed.

11:15

And now it's like, you know, Park

11:18

Slope was always this kind of charming

11:20

place. Families would move there. It was very

11:23

safe and even park Slopes changed.

11:26

It's not like it used to be. All all those bodegas

11:28

where you'd go for like a nice bacon,

11:30

egg and cheese have turned into

11:32

like it's a wat shop. Like every boading

11:34

is now a weed shop. So it always fell

11:36

was like weed wherever you are in the city. Yeah, there's

11:39

homeless, there's time. It's a shameless COVID.

11:41

But I love park Slove.

11:42

When we were there, yeah.

11:44

I did too, but it became like this really angry

11:46

place. I think during COVID, the people calling

11:49

the police on their neighbors when they

11:51

had too many people in the backyard. I think that

11:53

that kind of thing is really hard

11:55

for me to unsee. I

11:58

don't know. I avoid it when I'm in the city now, you

12:00

know, I go visit friends or whatever. But park

12:02

Slope makes me feel like angry

12:05

about what happened to New York and yeah, like

12:07

I was in Manhattan yesterday and yeah, the whole

12:09

place smells like Weed's tons

12:11

of problems. But I don't think it makes me

12:13

feel as bad as.

12:15

Park Slope does. I mean it, it was

12:17

like a paradise.

12:18

You had the park, you had families with strollers,

12:21

you always felt safe, and now that's not the case.

12:22

It's real shame.

12:24

What would you say is our country's

12:27

biggest societal or cultural

12:29

problem?

12:30

Boy, honestly,

12:33

I kind of want to group it all into kind

12:35

of like the DEI thing, where

12:39

essentially this is supposed to be kind

12:42

of making a bit more harmonious

12:44

for all the races, whether white people, black

12:46

people, Latin up people, But this

12:49

system has actually been itself. It's

12:52

a racist system. It's it's more of trying to pit

12:54

people against each other. And

12:57

you know, you could have someone, you should have someone

12:59

who has it's never done anything

13:01

wrong, but being judged by their skin

13:04

color, which is I mean, it's like the opposite of you

13:06

know, Martin Luther King said, judge by the content

13:08

of your character, and now it's like, no, we

13:10

will judge an individual whether their

13:12

contribution to the workplace or

13:15

you know, whether they're they're a colonist or

13:17

an oppressor, based on their

13:19

skin color, which is just it's absolute

13:22

madness. It's it's really sad, and it's

13:24

antithical to what this country was

13:26

built upon. I

13:29

will say it kind of

13:31

feels good seeing that

13:33

kind of falling apart.

13:36

It's unfortunate it took something like the attack

13:38

on Israel last

13:40

October. But then you saw in

13:43

campuses. You know, so many people, especially on

13:45

the left, were shocked to see that. You

13:47

know, campuses are tearing down photos

13:49

of family, kids, women

13:51

who have been kidnapped. But

13:54

this has been this kind of hate

13:56

has been breeding on college campuses

13:58

and among the left for a

14:00

while.

14:01

Now.

14:01

This all based on this made up idea

14:03

of a group

14:06

of people are oppressors and a group of people are oppressed,

14:09

and I think seeing that shocked

14:11

a lot of people and woke them up. We saw,

14:13

you know, for example, like president of Harvard

14:16

step down. You had universities

14:18

which had been allowing this kind of stuff that are being

14:21

called out, especially and it's said that had

14:23

to take major university donors

14:25

to be like, ah, if you're going to allow this

14:27

kind of hate on campus, I'm out.

14:28

I want nothing to do with it.

14:30

And so universities, out of that,

14:32

you know, self interest, had to start listening

14:34

to this message.

14:36

But also elon buying Twitter. You know, by

14:39

and large.

14:40

People are now free to express their

14:42

opinion that hey, this is extremely hurtful.

14:44

You know, you don't want to raised

14:46

kids in environment where you say okay, let's

14:49

separate everyone by skin color. You're good, you're

14:51

evil, You're good, you're evil. Right,

14:54

So that ideology, tell me, is the biggest

14:56

problem society has in America right now. But

14:59

I'm hopeful that it can continue to

15:01

We can we can peel away and get rid of it.

15:04

Yeah, you sound optimistic that we can come

15:06

out on the other side of it.

15:09

I mean, there has not been any

15:11

problem in America has ever faced that we've

15:13

not been able to overcome. And

15:16

it's because you know, we are

15:18

a free nation. We work together.

15:21

We overcome problems, World War two, putting

15:23

a man on the moon. There's really nothing America can accomplish

15:26

when we work together. And so, you know,

15:28

an ideology that's based on essentially

15:31

dividing and conquering, no

15:33

country has been able to do that to America. I think

15:35

the only country that could bring America down is

15:38

America. And

15:40

I'm optimistic. I think, you know, so many

15:42

folks are starting to realize what

15:45

a harmful system this is, and

15:48

it tries to essentially make people

15:51

hate their own neighbors.

15:53

I think, like you.

15:53

Said, COVID really exacerbated that when you

15:55

had folks isolated for so long, you

15:57

know, they become more detached from their neighbors, and you

16:01

know, we're all.

16:02

Americans here, we should be working together.

16:04

And I think a lot of folks are really getting

16:06

fed up with that, and I'm really

16:08

hoping that we can keep shipping away in it.

16:11

I love your optimism, and you're just you know,

16:13

pro americanists. I you know, I'm obviously

16:15

the same, but I'm kind of mixed, and I

16:18

don't know that I'm as optimistic as you, only

16:20

because I got thrown

16:22

out of a mother's against anti

16:24

Semitism group because I wrote about

16:26

them. And one of

16:28

the things was that a lot of these liberal

16:31

Jews are saying, like, if we could

16:33

just get into the DEI system, like

16:35

not get rid of it. They understand that they're not part

16:37

of it and they're not included, but they're like,

16:39

if we could just figure out a way to get add

16:41

into it. And that's my concern is

16:44

that people will kind of

16:46

decide that, like how do I get in, how

16:48

does my group fit into

16:50

the system, and we just work within the system

16:52

instead of trying to overthrow it. You know. I

16:55

like the idea that people are having their eyes

16:57

open. I just hope that we're not too

16:59

far on this road of victimhood where

17:02

people can't toss off these shackles

17:04

and realize what the better path

17:07

is instead of trying to get themselves included

17:09

in the in the system that you know really largely

17:11

makes no sense.

17:13

Yeah, and I mean I think I think that's

17:15

been a big problem

17:18

for I'll

17:20

say this country, like we have

17:23

an ongoing joke on the show, I

17:25

say, the most dangerous terror

17:28

group in America is the

17:30

liberal suburban white woman

17:33

who you know, just to be liked

17:35

at the book club and on Facebook that you want to

17:37

support any nutjob left

17:40

wing movement that's going on,

17:43

whether it's you know, the gender identity

17:45

thing among kids or whether it's

17:48

DEI.

17:50

That's been a severe problem.

17:52

And you know, there was an example over

17:54

the past week of it was that disturbed

17:57

member of the military who killed

17:59

themselves suicide of buy themselves up fire,

18:03

saying for for free Palestine and part

18:06

of the intersectional you know, pressure

18:08

press movement thing. And then the

18:10

discussion online along his own, like

18:13

the groups, the Marxist groups that he

18:15

was part of, is we can't say rest in power

18:17

for him because he was a white person, right.

18:20

I mean, it was amazing how so good.

18:22

Insane a system is that?

18:24

So, you know when you bring this idea of you

18:26

know, you have folks who are trying to become part of this

18:28

movement, even though that movement hates

18:31

them.

18:33

You know, they just need to get their eyes open.

18:35

We're going to take a quick break and be right back

18:37

on the Carol Marcowitch Show.

18:42

So where does Marapa go from here? Where do you

18:44

think, like what needs to happen in

18:46

order for us to get on a better path.

18:50

It feels like the fever is starting

18:52

to break in my opinion, not

18:54

just among folks who started seeing DEI

18:59

being it's a problems so divisive, but also

19:02

I think these far left policies

19:05

in general, whether it's crime

19:09

is legalized, you know, seeing criminals

19:11

themselves is the un oppressed group. I

19:13

think a lot of Americans are getting fed up with that idea.

19:16

I saw a lot of stuff in Austin, Texas.

19:19

They're having a vote on I think

19:21

it's their district attorney and the

19:23

current one who is.

19:24

Elected has

19:26

based has said multiple.

19:27

Times that even criminals

19:30

who commit sexual assault, well they're

19:32

victims of their circumstance.

19:34

Right, He's not talking about the victims of sexual assault.

19:36

He's talking about the actual perpetrators are

19:39

victims, and even among Democrats

19:41

because it's a blue city, he's

19:44

facing.

19:44

A challenge now in a primary.

19:46

I think folks are getting fed up with this left wing ideology,

19:49

whether it's THEI, whether it's on crime,

19:51

and even on illegal immigration. Now,

19:54

you know, your Governor Ron de Santis, also

19:56

the governor Florida Abbot Texas,

20:00

but they've been dealing with an

20:02

illegal immigration problem, a surge

20:05

since Biden got elected, and for

20:08

so long they were told just like, you know, shut up, keep your

20:10

mouth shut, you deal with it. It's your problem.

20:12

You know, America, we do not believe an

20:14

individual is illegal, right, And it's

20:16

easy to say when you're in Martha's Vineyard or in

20:18

New York City. And now times have changed

20:21

because you know, once Governor

20:23

Abbott and Governor DeSantis

20:25

started Sandy illegal

20:27

immigrants saying that hey, okay, if you're

20:29

a sanctuary, you can welcome

20:31

these. Now

20:34

the opinion has really changed, and

20:36

you're seeing it in not just like pull numbers

20:39

for Biden, but just I think

20:41

a lot of folks are figuring out

20:43

that, Okay, I want to have a good life for myself,

20:45

for my kids, for my family. That includes very

20:47

basic things like safety

20:50

and hoping that they're not the first generation

20:52

that has it worse off than me. And they're seeing that these

20:54

policies that they've been subjected

20:57

to by the left have made

20:59

that almost imports So

21:01

I've started seeing, you know, the cracks starting

21:04

to form, and I'm really helpeful

21:06

that we can just i mean, for the good of the country,

21:08

we could get rid of all this toxicity.

21:10

Would you ever run for office?

21:12

Absolutely not, never

21:14

ever?

21:15

So good well, I mean it's

21:18

it's partly because it's a shame with become

21:21

of the political system where your

21:26

opponent essentially says you're evil if

21:28

you disagree with them, right, yeah.

21:29

But you'd relish that, you'd be like, I'm

21:31

evil.

21:33

And also, you know, I

21:35

still think there's a place for especially

21:38

in politics.

21:39

So we need real public servants, We need serious

21:42

people.

21:43

We need fewer people who are famous

21:46

for social media and more people

21:48

who are famous for having

21:50

built a reputation is helping Americans

21:53

and being fully

21:55

committed and experienced in bringing

21:58

about positive changes in their cammunity.

22:01

You know, the crop of candidates

22:04

that we're seeing on on the Republican side

22:06

it's really good in terms

22:08

of your seeing business people.

22:09

You're seeing people.

22:11

Have serious philanthropic histories

22:14

getting involved to become public servants,

22:17

and you're seeing less of like, Okay, this person's

22:19

got a lot of followers on

22:21

TikTok, maybe we should run them, right,

22:24

I sadly, I could serve myself more of the latter

22:27

and more of a social media kind.

22:29

Of Yeah,

22:33

I don't know, vote for Smug. I feel like I'm gonna

22:36

start writing you in any election where

22:38

I don't feel like I could vote friend of the candidates,

22:41

although I live in Florida now, so that really doesn't

22:43

happen, you know, to New York.

22:46

In New York, I would write in candidates all the time

22:48

because often there'd be no Republican there's

22:50

song. Yeah,

22:52

but so you know, maybe I missed the writing

22:54

and smug window. But you

22:57

know, I don't know. I don't know that necessarily

22:59

having a lot of followers are being big

23:01

on social media is a negative. I think

23:04

that that means you're speaking to a lot of different people.

23:07

I don't think it's real life. Like I think that there's

23:09

a lot of people who aren't on social media. They don't

23:11

know, you know, what goes on in our

23:13

world. But I think that there

23:15

is a correlation between you

23:18

know, picking up a lot of a lot of followers

23:20

on social media and potentially,

23:23

you know, being able to speak to larger

23:25

audiences outside of it. I don't know. I don't

23:27

think you should write off running for office that quickly.

23:30

I mean, I'll tell you what, I'll give you some thought.

23:35

All right, good? So I

23:37

love talking to you. And here with

23:40

your best tip for my listeners on

23:42

how they can improve their lives.

23:45

A boy, the

23:48

best thing you can do to improve your life

23:51

is surround yourself

23:53

with good people. This

23:55

is this is far easier said than done, and

23:58

also not as easy as it may sound.

24:01

I had an uncle who gave

24:04

me this incredible piece of advice where

24:06

he said, the real friends

24:08

around you are the folks who tell you no, not

24:11

to do something. They're not the folks who say,

24:13

yeah, why not, you know, give it a shot. So,

24:16

especially when you're younger, poor

24:19

decisions can be made if you're surrounded by folks

24:21

who don't care and just let's roll

24:23

the dice and see what happens with your life, as opposed

24:26

to folks who are there telling you I don't think that's a great

24:28

idea.

24:29

So it can be.

24:30

Especially when you're younger and more challenging, and like, oh,

24:32

I want more of an enabler than

24:35

another mom or a parent telling me you

24:37

know what to do, not to do bad things. But

24:39

beyond that, even you know as an adult, as you

24:41

grow older, as you grow your career, who

24:45

you surround yourself with is going to have the

24:47

greatest impact on where you go in life.

24:49

If you're surrounded by people

24:51

who are positive,

24:54

focused on improving, people

24:57

who are who are trying

24:59

to acomplish things instead

25:02

of just like drift or are

25:04

almost indifferent or just negative. I think

25:06

that like a doomer kind of mindset

25:08

of like, oh well, nothing's going to get better. If

25:10

you're surrounded by people who are focused

25:13

on I want to get

25:15

better, I want to get smarter, I

25:17

want to accomplish things. It

25:20

rubs off on you and just

25:22

building a network of folks

25:24

like that will lift you up yourself and

25:27

then you can also contribute. It's like a

25:29

positive feedback loop. And to

25:31

me, like, I'm very fortunate. Ruthless

25:33

is a perfect example. Ashbrook,

25:35

Duncan Holmes. They're each like subject

25:37

matter experts in their fields,

25:40

and they're incredibly hard working

25:42

individuals. We make

25:44

a terrific team and just

25:47

being around them makes me want to work

25:49

harder and be better. And

25:51

I'm incredibly fortunate to have that.

25:53

So actually, my last last question will be a side

25:55

question to that is how do you attract

25:58

people like that? How do you how do

26:00

you attract better people to yourself to kind

26:02

of make your circle stronger and

26:04

make yourself smarter and better and all of

26:06

those things. Because we talk a lot of on the show about

26:08

making friends, a lot of people have moved in the last few

26:11

years. How do you do it?

26:13

So this

26:15

could be a challenge because I know, luckily

26:18

I'm an extrovert. There

26:20

can be some introverted folks and that's more difficult

26:22

to you know, put yourself out there.

26:26

But that's the thing is, you know, what's

26:28

the upside? What's the downside? If

26:31

you meet up with a bunch of folks, If there's

26:33

an event happening and

26:36

you go and you introduce yourself to a group, what's the downside?

26:38

They'll say hi, and then you'll never speak

26:41

to them again. That's that's that's the worst thing that

26:43

can possibly happen. What's the upside?

26:45

You make some friends, you find people to hang

26:47

out with, to learn things from

26:50

you just having the It takes an

26:52

ounce of courage to go out there, put yourself

26:54

out and meet people, and the payoff

26:57

is tremendous. I mean, everyone has

27:00

something special about them that

27:02

they can share with others, that will amaze

27:04

other people, that will attract other people. It's

27:07

finding that putting yourself out there

27:09

with that talent and the rest takes

27:11

care of itself.

27:13

He is comfortably smug listening to him at

27:15

the Ruthless Podcast. Thank you so much

27:17

for coming on love seeing you.

27:19

Thanks so much, Carol, thanks.

27:21

So much for joining us on the Carol Marcowitch

27:23

Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.