0:00

Hello, Stu here. Just popping in before the show starts

0:02

to let you know that my comedy special I Need

0:04

You Alive is now available at

0:06

Stuart Goldsmith.com There's a link

0:08

there where you can watch it on a breathtaking array

0:11

of places for the rest of the month including

0:13

the 800 pound gorilla website Amazon Prime

0:16

in the UK and US Xbox, God

0:18

knows how they do that, as well as loads of other links

0:20

to catch it on audio Go to Stuart Goldsmith.com

0:23

and watch this show that I am staggeringly

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proud of and do watch it if you can because

0:28

it's very pretty

0:33

Intro

0:35

Music Hello

0:45

and welcome to the show I'm Stuart Goldsmith today

0:48

I am talking to Lee Kyle one of the

0:50

Northeast best-kept comedy secrets and

0:53

a pivotal figure in Feltnout Which is a kind

0:55

of Northeastern Comedy

0:58

cooperative. I'm gonna call it an incubator

1:00

despite it's sort of not being that but it's definitely

1:02

worth hearing about He's gonna tell us a bit about that but

1:04

first We are gonna talk about this dimpled

1:07

diamond with a twinkly warmth and bucket

1:09

loads of swearing as I've very pleasingly written in the

1:11

blurbs And we're gonna talk about ADHD Focusing

1:14

on multiple projects and thriving in chaos

1:17

plus all the downsides the self-doubt demotivation

1:19

and so on And we're gonna find out why

1:21

the first minute of Lee's set is purposefully a

1:23

write-off Really really fun and I highly

1:26

recommend Lee's show. He's doing an Edinburgh show called It's

1:29

called England's best comedian. We'll talk

1:31

about that title You can get tickets for that in the

1:33

show notes here or at Ed fringe.com

1:35

and you can also find his new special disco twix

1:38

on YouTube, which is obviously for free

1:40

because it's on YouTube and it was watching that and Specifically

1:43

and I don't think this came up in the interview which annoys me but

1:46

it annoys me that I didn't bring it up But

1:48

the reason I watched it was because Lee created

1:50

a little JPEG saying

1:53

hey my friend comedian Lee Kyle

1:56

has released a special and you should listen to it Oh,

1:58

and you should watch it on YouTube for free I

2:00

probably haven't been bothered to, so I can't comment on

2:02

it. It said that in the thing, so it made it

2:04

extremely shareable. And that made me laugh so much,

2:06

I thought, Oh God, I will check that out. And

2:09

I was being very middle-aged

2:12

and pressure washing the deck

2:14

at the back of our house when I listened

2:16

to the whole thing. Because it takes ages to

2:18

pressure wash a deck. Much longer than

2:21

I had imagined. But I kept going and did a really

2:23

thorough job so I could finish the special. So Disco

2:25

Twix is on YouTube. And of course, there

2:27

are 20 minutes of extras available exclusively

2:29

to the Insiders Club. From this interview, we

2:31

will discuss Disco Twix in a bit more detail,

2:33

wrestling with gender identity in Lee's uniquely

2:36

gentle way. And we will also discover why 2002

2:38

was a great time to be

2:40

a mediocre comedian. All of that and

2:42

more in the Insiders Club at comedianscomedian.com

2:44

slash insiders. But here is Lee

2:47

Kyle.

2:52

So thanks for coming on the show,

2:54

Lee Kyle. Thank you. Thank you. I'm

2:56

sorry that, I mean, I am aware that

2:58

for listeners, this is a law. From

3:03

the heady heights of Stuart Lee, I do apologise

3:05

everybody. Well,

3:08

let's start with that. Humility. It's

3:12

mostly fake. I

3:15

saw Disco Twix. It's a special that you put

3:17

on YouTube. It's an hour and 20 minutes long. It's

3:20

all funny. It's all funny. Lee,

3:22

it's such a good show. I really,

3:24

really enjoyed it. And part of

3:26

what I enjoyed, and this is in a wider

3:28

kind of context, you've been going for donkey's years.

3:31

You've done loads and loads of stuff. You've got, we'll

3:33

talk about Felt Mount. We'll talk about all

3:35

of your multiple projects. Apparently you

3:37

did a solo performance of an entire Royal Rumble.

3:40

Oh yes, I'd forgotten about that. I

3:43

never knew. There's loads of stuff to get into.

3:45

But for now, for the beginning, Lee Kyle,

3:48

northeast based,

3:49

excellent comic. Really, really funny. The

3:52

special is called Disco Twix. It's on YouTube. You're

3:54

taking a show to the Edinburgh Festival, which has another

3:56

brilliant title. What's this one called? Oh man,

3:58

it's called I Regret It Now.

3:59

It's called England's Best Comedian.

4:02

Thank you, good. And you're flagging up the

4:04

bits of rebrand in the blurb for the show, which I really

4:07

enjoy. But all of this stuff is

4:09

kind of centred around you and your personality,

4:12

which I found having never to

4:14

my chagran, I don't think I've ever seen

4:16

one of your shows live in Edinburgh. I've seen you do sets

4:18

here and there. But

4:21

one of your qualities, which is just magical,

4:24

is how incredibly warm you are.

4:26

And I think part of that is

4:29

a kind of humility. Like you, not

4:31

just kind of getting the knocks in at yourself first,

4:34

I don't think, which is a sort of an established thing.

4:37

But there is something about you. It's just the audience

4:40

just love you. And it's like, it's

4:42

not just that you're a funny bald man. But

4:44

to me, it's like, the notes you

4:46

have, you play, you play what

4:49

you've got. You're dealing the hand that you've dealt very,

4:51

very well

4:51

in a way that makes people just myself

4:53

included, really roll over and like,

4:56

oh, isn't Lee lovely and funny?

4:59

Okay, I

5:02

think

5:04

a lot of it is a genuine fear

5:07

of rejection and desperation to be liked. Possibly,

5:11

yes. Which I mean, I

5:13

can go on a fear of rejection later on in

5:15

terms of career stuff.

5:18

I think

5:21

this sounds not even pretentious, but like

5:23

I would hate somebody else for saying this, but it is

5:26

genuinely my mindset at the

5:28

moment, which is, so

5:30

I'm in my 40s now and assuming I live an

5:32

average life, I want to be a

5:35

better person in the second half of my life

5:37

than in the first. I

5:40

don't think I've been a horrible person. I just

5:42

I don't know. I think I'm

5:44

trying to be nice,

5:48

but

5:50

on stage, what I am aware of is

5:52

that that allows me to get away with seeing

5:54

some things that you

5:57

take that some people would claim you're

5:59

not

5:59

say these days. Okay,

6:02

okay like what because this isn't what some

6:04

of the stuff I really enjoyed about your show is that it's

6:06

like I almost I sort of described it as it's

6:09

like anti anti-woke.

6:10

It's really pro-woke

6:13

or woke as the expression goes. So

6:15

what do you mean by saying things that you're not supposed to say?

6:18

So a lot of times you will get

6:20

the

6:21

differentiation between fringe shows

6:23

and club sets of people go up but you couldn't do that stuff

6:25

in a set and other

6:28

than

6:29

in all shows where I've done some quite out there

6:31

set pieces but like in terms of stand-up I've

6:33

never found that. I found out and

6:36

for whatever reason get away with saying

6:38

what I like on the ball. Luckily what

6:40

I like is in

6:43

the whole point of this show the show I did that was

6:45

to both be

6:48

as honest as I could because I

6:50

was kind of tired of pandering not pandering but

6:53

almost

6:55

I realized one of my weaknesses is that

6:57

I really really want people

6:59

to like me a lot and

7:01

what I wanted for this show was to not

7:03

care about that but luckily

7:05

I sort of got away with making this

7:07

still lightweight because I've got dimples or whatever quality

7:10

it is. In

7:13

a way I was a bit frustrated I wanted more people to be a bit

7:15

annoyed but people just went oh bless

7:18

yeah it is good that you're glad the Queen's dead. Whatever

7:23

it is I don't have that thing that

7:25

although some people have hated me but I think with

7:28

every performer that is obviously going to happen. Yes

7:31

yes you've used the phrase

7:33

get away with about three times in

7:36

four minutes of this. Let's drill

7:38

into that a bit. So do you think that it's

7:40

something you're getting away with because you might

7:42

an outsider might look at this and go well this

7:44

is a man who's funny and charismatic and

7:46

has worked hard and written good jokes and

7:49

he's doing those jokes and he's gathering an audience

7:51

and they're enjoying them. Like what's being got away

7:53

with? I think

7:55

I don't think I'm getting away

7:57

with being a stand-up I do think I've become

7:59

good at it. And

8:02

of course that feels more defined to say, but I...

8:05

Of course

8:05

it does. There

8:08

should be a blanket waiver over this entire podcast. If

8:10

you're allowed to say here,

8:12

uniquely, you're allowed to say that you

8:15

think you're good. That's fine. But

8:18

what I think I'm getting away with is being a

8:20

silly naughty boy. More

8:23

than actually getting away with being able to do

8:25

stand-up. I still have confidence

8:27

in my ability to get up and do that. I do think,

8:29

sadly, because... And this

8:32

is one thing I often say if new acts ask

8:34

my opinion, which they do, because I have

8:35

the outlying appearance of warmth. Um... One

8:40

of the things I always say is, if you're

8:42

not going to become famous, you'd better become adaptable.

8:45

And I have avoided

8:47

becoming famous. So what I know is I

8:49

can play a lot of rooms, a lot of audiences

8:52

that I'd rather not have had to learn to play. OK,

8:55

OK, yes, yes, yes. And I would say

8:58

that whatever... And

9:00

I'm in inverted comments here, whatever charm,

9:02

because I don't think it's charm, I hate that word, but whatever charm

9:04

it is that sort of works on the onstage,

9:07

I think has become a defence mechanism, honed

9:10

in places where I just want to

9:12

get away with having

9:14

done the job and leaving as quick as I can.

9:17

Yes, OK. OK, so when you're... Can

9:20

you give us an example of one of those, like a gig

9:22

where you've gone to war? Do you know what I mean? Where you've

9:24

been like, oh, this is... I

9:27

mean, have you ever played somewhere you would describe

9:29

as unplayable?

9:30

Oh, yeah. Because you hear the word unplayable. Yeah, OK. Yeah, yeah.

9:33

So people have kind of, OK, it was unplayable. I

9:35

did it, I survived, I got the money, but there was no

9:37

play involved because it was unplayable. So

9:40

give us your approach to that and how that... To

9:43

those circumstances and how it's...

9:46

How that manifests in the quality that you describe

9:48

it. OK, I can say I would

9:51

play those differently now.

9:54

So one of my least favourite

9:56

bits of advice,

9:58

which I do think it comes...

9:59

you know that thing Gary Delaney wrote years ago that

10:02

became a gospel? Go on.

10:03

Now and I think this is not any,

10:06

I remember speaking to Gary about and he said what

10:08

you've got in a sign I was writing that for one

10:10

specific person giving advice on the way I

10:12

do things because his act was vaguely similar.

10:15

But for me the whole idea of don't

10:18

waste any time start with a quick joke getting there hard

10:21

is absolutely nothing matter how I work. Yeah.

10:25

So for me the first minute of my set is

10:27

purposely a write off.

10:29

I'm not going to waste

10:31

a joke in that. Like

10:35

to me it's all about almost I've started to even

10:38

just put it in such blank terms of going don't

10:40

worry you're not going to enjoy the first minute but I'm pretty good

10:42

you'll be fine. And I think

10:44

that's more important to go. I'm

10:47

on even if I'm not in control because you don't always

10:49

feel in control but

10:51

even if I am I think it's important to

10:53

let them have

10:55

a little bit of doubt and then build it up from there

10:57

and go oh actually yeah he's fine. Yes

11:00

okay that's interesting. That's interesting.

11:03

I think like that does

11:05

yeah so what Gary had said is

11:08

yeah have a quick joke get in there and almost like

11:10

prove you're a comic and it's one. I always think of Dara

11:12

O'Briain saying the beginning five minutes

11:15

of his tour shows is always he calls it trust

11:17

me I'm a comedian. He said I trust

11:19

you but what you're sort of saying is be

11:22

at peace with the fact that I'm okay with

11:24

whatever happens here and that does a similar

11:26

job doesn't it? It's not necessarily a big belter

11:28

laugh but it's

11:30

the first kiss isn't it? It's that moment where you kind

11:33

of it's the first date you go don't

11:35

worry everything's going to be fine in one

11:37

way or another you know you're not saying it with a barnstorming

11:39

joke but you're kind of going you're saying I'm

11:41

letting you into my personality.

11:43

Yeah and I think that's it's setting

11:46

the stall out which for what Gary does

11:48

is absolutely he is going to be loads

11:50

of jokes. It would be weird if he

11:52

didn't start with a really strong joke but

11:54

for me who I mean I'm not saying I don't have one-liners

11:56

but I basically don't have one-liners. Yeah

11:59

it's

11:59

I seem silly to start with a quick joke. It

12:02

doesn't, and actually my strength is

12:04

that I do think I try my best to make people

12:06

relax. And

12:07

I feel like I try

12:11

to be, I don't think I've ever

12:13

phoned a set in whether I've been good or bad. And

12:17

I think a lot of this is, and I know you are in a

12:19

similar situation, like

12:22

late

12:23

realisation of ADHD, you know,

12:25

like. I'm gonna

12:27

start ringing a bell now, whenever that comes up. And

12:30

I know I'm aware of the cliche, and I'm

12:32

aware that everyone's got, oh, everyone's writing about this these days.

12:34

And you go, yeah, it's because we've had a lockdown. We've all realised

12:37

quite how we're mental. Yes. You

12:39

know, that's, it's. And again, another disclaimer

12:42

for the show, if the listener is new

12:44

to this, has picked it up. ADHD

12:46

is in between five and 8% of the

12:48

population.

12:49

In terms of people who, because

12:51

of the way their mind works, chose to be a stand-up comic,

12:54

it's more like, I mean, I revise this upwards every time, 60%.

12:57

Yeah, yeah, I've had so many people

12:59

just from around here, around the Northeast in

13:01

the last two months go, yeah, I've

13:04

got a diagnosis, I'm going for a diagnosis.

13:06

I mean, I was speaking to Dave Haddigham two days ago,

13:09

and he's in his 50s, and he was just like, he

13:11

was talking about how Ed Byrne, you know, dropping names, had

13:13

mentioned having ADHD. And Dave was

13:15

like, well, that's what I do. And his wife

13:17

sort of went, yes, Dave, yes it is.

13:19

It's almost sad in a way, like, I'm not

13:22

gonna, I

13:25

don't

13:26

know about you, but I had a vague morning process of

13:29

going, this explains why school

13:32

and every job I've ever had felt impossible. And

13:35

it's sort of sad, but on stage, what it's meant

13:37

is, I'm never not in the room, and I'm very good at

13:40

dipping in and out of the crowd when I feel it's necessary.

13:42

And I'm very good at doing things

13:45

off the cuff, and

13:47

using that as,

13:51

using my ability to, as a quote unquote,

13:53

get away with being a little bit naughty, to

13:56

get away with it if Adlib doesn't work. I'm

13:59

very good at, like, this is.

13:59

terrible skill which I didn't have but

14:02

I'm very good at at lips that don't really work

14:04

and then people being fine with it. That's

14:08

a great skill to have. It's no

14:11

being able to write great routines I'll give

14:13

you that. No sure for sure. Do

14:16

you feel then this is jumping ahead really but

14:18

do you feel

14:21

I'll ask you now and I'll ask you at the end baby

14:23

do you feel you're in the appropriate place for

14:26

your career? Does anybody honestly...

14:29

I don't know I don't remember asking before it's a hell of a question.

14:32

The answer is this

14:34

is what I'm...

14:37

So you know they say

14:40

unhappiness and I'm not I know

14:42

it's one of your stock questions and it's it's obviously

14:44

more than a yes or no question but you know unhappiness

14:48

is often based

14:50

on you not being the thing you feel

14:52

like you are you're not in that

14:54

position and that's terribly phrase but you know the point of getting

14:56

it. The answer is

14:59

absolutely not to be honest

15:01

in a lot of ways but I

15:04

understand it.

15:06

That's great. That's

15:08

a great artily yes. And

15:12

this is what I'm toying with at the minute.

15:15

So what I've done is I was very

15:17

unhappy at the start of this year. So

15:21

I've done the weekend

15:24

that New Year's Eve run at the stand in

15:27

Newcastle and that was absolutely wonderful

15:29

and

15:30

I usually compare the end I wasn't I was doing

15:33

a set and I was doing 20 minutes and it felt so

15:36

refreshing and alive you know. I

15:38

like comparing it's I guess me bread and butter

15:42

but there's something wonderful about not having

15:44

to care about the rest of the bill and I don't mean as people but

15:46

not have to go I'm setting the room up. It's

15:49

on your shoulders if you're a half

15:51

decent compared the 90s on your shoulders.

15:55

Yeah and I genuinely like

15:57

comedians you know like

15:59

I think.

15:59

certainly around here,

16:01

my best friends are comics and they're wonderful

16:04

people. But I also like to go, yes, 20

16:06

minutes. If this goes wrong, this is only brilliant. You

16:09

know, and

16:10

but that was sort of, I almost

16:12

knew that once that was out of the way, I was

16:15

going to be a big down. Because

16:17

I knew January and some stuff came

16:19

like it always does. But I knew January was quiet.

16:21

And it had that thing of going.

16:24

So I know I can do this. I've been

16:26

pretty good at it for a while. But

16:29

this felt like the last days

16:31

of me being able to just do this, if

16:33

that makes sense. It felt like,

16:36

and this isn't one of those, we've all seen it on Facebook

16:39

with people I like, but I've gone, Oh,

16:41

what is it you get old people don't want you anymore? But

16:43

then the answer is, in a way, yes, that is

16:45

how the world works. I'm not naive to that, you know,

16:48

and

16:51

I never what I feel is

16:53

I never had my, and again, this is my

16:55

fault. I don't think false I don't think

16:57

false the right word, but this is I understand it. I

17:00

never had the time of being a exciting

17:02

new act.

17:03

You know, like some people have, I feel I

17:05

had, okay, ladies

17:07

are very good. Then suddenly, oh, yeah, Lee's fine. But

17:10

I didn't go to Edinburgh early enough. I listened to all of

17:12

that stuff, which I now don't believe of don't be going

17:14

to Edinburgh until you have lab, lab, lab, lab, lab, lab,

17:17

headlining every club or whatever. And I go, I don't,

17:19

I think it's a different setup. Frankly,

17:21

I don't think that's particularly relevant.

17:23

And I look at people who start at the same time as me, we wouldn't

17:25

have been the same or very different acts. But

17:28

like, I started in the

17:30

around the same time I kicked a lot with people like Richard guard

17:32

when he was new. And I

17:34

would not have won an Olivier, don't mistake that.

17:38

But Richard did the fringe very early,

17:40

built this thing. And I waited and waited and waited.

17:43

And I wish

17:45

I hadn't, I wish I'd have had some idea of

17:47

going

17:48

rather than

17:50

this, he has this act, who we think

17:52

is probably fine. And

17:53

he's been going a little while whatever. I feel

17:56

like

17:57

I missed out. But that was a long time ago, and I don't have any.

17:59

feel bad about that. What I do feel is

18:02

that

18:03

I don't always know what I want.

18:06

If that makes sense, like I really value my

18:08

independence. I like that's

18:11

very important to me in terms of the work I do

18:13

and just the life I live. But

18:16

part of me also thinks

18:17

I do feel like I'm good enough to

18:20

have a

18:21

fairly decent agent or whatever it is.

18:24

But I also don't think

18:28

I necessarily, so I want the life.

18:31

I don't know if I want to lead the life that they would want me to lead

18:33

for a start, although I would like more money. I'm not

18:35

stupid. I was

18:38

talking to a friend of mine, Louise Young.

18:41

So Louise is from the same house

18:43

in a state as me in Jarrow. And

18:45

we both have pretty, let's say pretty straight

18:47

in circumstances. And I think Louise

18:49

is in fairness. What probably,

18:52

I mean, even judging by the name of a show that

18:54

she has, she describes herself as feral, which

18:56

is, you know what,

18:58

she's not even, in some way, she's not even

19:00

over exaggerating. She had a very tough upbringing.

19:03

And I was sort of moaning to her and then I got an

19:06

opportunity for a thing that ended up not working

19:08

out, but simply getting the opportunity to get something

19:10

looked at that I didn't expect was a boost

19:12

that I needed at the right time. But

19:15

my immediate instinct was to go, oh, I'm not

19:17

going to bother with this meeting. It'll be shit. If they

19:19

think my thing's good, they're obviously idiots. And

19:22

she sort of told me off, which is interesting. I've someone 10 years

19:24

younger than me. And she was right to go. You can't keep

19:26

moaning about lock up opportunities. Then one comes

19:29

just pissing it away because you've got all this

19:31

self doubt. And I

19:34

think

19:35

I would say the reason I'm not where

19:38

I feel like I could be in a

19:41

best case scenario is

19:46

myself. Honestly, I do

19:48

think I can do the job, but I

19:50

do. Absolutely.

19:53

And

19:56

this is a real as I've come to recently was part of

19:58

the ADHD thing I spoke to Anya Akinson.

19:59

who's a comic around here, we might know, I don't know, but

20:02

she's, she's got dih, you know, of course.

20:05

And she was talking about rejection sensitivity.

20:08

And I think that is,

20:10

I've only recently realized it's kind of dominated

20:12

my entire professional life, which is, I feel

20:14

like a lot of the things I'm doing, which

20:16

is going my own road and setting up things

20:18

to is actually just

20:21

a fear that everybody secretly hates

20:23

me and doesn't want us. You know, I

20:25

think if I could, but it's

20:27

not like I have a lot of very good friends

20:29

and stuff like that. But

20:32

it's a constant fight against

20:34

the feeling that they're doing as some sort of act

20:36

of charity to me. Oh,

20:39

mate. So. Do

20:41

you, none of that presents

20:44

itself from the times I've spoken, you know, or chatted to,

20:46

or what have you. Do you, how does, how does it manifested

20:49

you? Do you go dark? I've got a mate who

20:51

just goes dark and you just, you won't speak to anyone

20:53

for three months. You need to kind of go,

20:55

we're all in the habit of like, we don't

20:57

notice it anymore. And now we go, oh, he's doing that thing

20:59

again. He's got someone checking on him, you

21:01

know,

21:02

because like he'll just withdraw.

21:04

No, I don't think I do. I don't think I do.

21:07

I think so.

21:10

I

21:14

think I lie in bed till the

21:16

afternoon and I get furious with myself.

21:20

Then I'll get up, I'll send some messages to some

21:22

friends or something. And then I perk up as the day

21:24

goes on. Then my wife gets home from work

21:26

and I'm just puppyish and really pleased to see her.

21:29

But I think I don't

21:32

think

21:33

I lash out, but I think

21:36

I've got this thing where maybe on social

21:38

media, I see more aggressive than I am because

21:40

I'm quite a sweet boy, but I suddenly

21:42

get really frustrated at the

21:45

wider world in ways that I can't change anything

21:47

and go, I'm really angry with the King

21:49

today. As if like, yeah, cause you're what you've

21:52

got to do about it. So I

21:54

put like just while at the

21:56

same time getting really stressed. If

21:58

anyone answers in a negative way, because

21:59

actually want an argument I hate them.

22:04

Well this has all come out hasn't it? Thank

22:07

you for sharing

22:10

it. I'm going to hit you with two quite big things

22:12

quite early doors. I think that's um

22:16

I think so much of it

22:18

is chaos so much of it

22:20

is chaos and so much of it is luck and

22:22

I don't you know there are meritocratic elements

22:24

to it we all apply ourselves

22:26

to the hand we're dealt we apply ourselves to

22:28

the luck and the last thing anyone

22:31

wants to be is someone who in your words avoided

22:33

becoming famous I thought that was very well put and

22:36

then it's like this comes up from time to time on

22:38

the show I suppose this idea

22:41

that

22:41

if you have made it and

22:44

have become rich and famous then

22:46

have you sort of hurt the position of being able to

22:48

look at it and go that's all just shit and luck

22:51

but if you haven't then it sounds like bitterness

22:53

yeah just stand there and behold the chaos

22:55

and go well obviously if you get lucky

22:57

early if you if you win a competition

23:00

early which might be and whether

23:03

that happens or not whether you had the opportunity to

23:05

get to the final might depend on the smallest

23:07

slightest whim you know someone

23:10

slammed a door and your name flew off the table they're stupid

23:12

stupid micro decisions that are constantly

23:14

happening to everyone and the fact

23:17

of not getting to the final and the fact of not getting

23:19

the thing and someone else does and they get the agent and they

23:21

accelerate

23:22

that's a real tangible thing the speed

23:25

of that acceleration so yeah it's a

23:27

feel like you kind of missed out on the

23:29

on the arrival like you know and I think

23:32

you're being again if not

23:34

humble you've been very decent about it in terms of

23:37

like I didn't go early enough and

23:39

that's on me you know what I didn't take the

23:41

risks I didn't back myself and that's on me you have to

23:44

not blame yourself I suppose but we all have to kind of own

23:46

the

23:47

the decisions that we made in that respect

23:50

and that must be that must be really really

23:53

hard though I suppose the point I'm

23:55

trying to make is that it's

23:58

so hard for every many

24:00

of us, no matter what our level of profile or

24:02

success or any of those kind of, any metrics,

24:04

even our level of happiness, it's so hard to

24:07

kind of go, what,

24:08

what might have been and what

24:10

decisions did I make and what decisions did I

24:12

not make? So we all have to just kind of

24:15

be and just exist and go, well,

24:17

it is what it is. And I can either let it demotivate

24:20

me and kill me off or, you know, keep going.

24:23

And you also, go on. It sometimes

24:25

does. I suffer from massive

24:27

bouts of demotivation. And

24:30

again, I suspect it's an ADHD thing where

24:32

I don't, what I find is I have

24:35

a couple of days a month where

24:37

I work intensely and put a lot of plans

24:39

into place and spend the rest of the time going, oh,

24:41

I'm now going to have to do that thing that I plan to do.

24:44

And I hate it. I hate it. I

24:47

wait, no,

24:50

I'll not name it because it's, it's

24:52

probably illegal, but a friend of

24:54

mine,

24:55

comic, recently diagnosed with ADHD, she

24:58

got some hoagie tablets

25:00

from abroad for narcolepsy. And

25:03

I've got to tell you, she gave me some of them

25:05

in case I needed them. And I worked for 15 hours

25:08

and it was incredible. And I thought, is this what people

25:10

are like? It's absolutely

25:13

wonderful. The Comedians' Comedian

25:16

podcast cannot recommend this

25:18

course. I've

25:21

not named any names, but just get into it.

25:25

Sorry,

25:28

where were we talking about? I

25:30

got, what do you know, I got distracted. Awning

25:33

our decisions, I suppose. And it's,

25:37

my point is, it's like, we all have to

25:39

kind of, I'm pleased with the sentence. I want to say

25:41

it again. We have to behold the chaos. You

25:43

have to stand and look at like your career and

25:46

the world and the things available to you, to

25:48

oneself, you know, and go, oh Christ,

25:50

I have to fit into this somehow. And you'll, and

25:53

who knows what you could have done and you know, who knows

25:55

what you could have done differently. I refuse to not fight the frustration.

25:59

with that though, because chaos is how

26:02

I'm best. And I've had a lot of people

26:04

say to me, you do too many things at once, focus on one

26:06

thing. And you go, yeah, if I got to focus on one thing,

26:08

I would, I wouldn't be, I

26:10

wouldn't be in this light. I would be very different. I

26:12

can't focus on one thing. And I

26:15

can only really work when I've seven things on the

26:17

go and I don't want to put too much stock on one. And

26:19

yeah, that's probably harmed my

26:21

career in some ways, but

26:24

I can't change the person I am, you know,

26:27

like if I could work with

26:30

God, I worked through

26:32

procrastination, you know, that

26:34

is how I write. And I think, so

26:38

this is something I

26:39

read once and I believe it, but I don't know

26:41

if I believe it because it's how I already work. Right?

26:45

Which is that

26:48

procract creative people procrastinate

26:50

and it's a good thing. And I really believe that. So

26:53

I think, so you like,

26:55

I've never, I could never be one of those people who writes the Edinburgh

26:58

show in September. And I'm glad about that

27:00

because I'm writing it all the time,

27:02

right? We're all obviously thinking and

27:05

comedies for obsessive, right? We're all,

27:07

it's all percolating, but

27:09

it's the thing about once you've written your show

27:11

down in whatever way you write it, whether you write long form

27:13

or just notes, your brain almost

27:15

stops working on it and you can go back and you can work on

27:17

it and you can try to add bits, but you're fighting

27:20

against an already completed puzzle. So

27:22

your brain's already satisfied. Oh God, that's

27:24

exactly where I'm at at the moment. Just

27:27

hit the nail so hard on the head. We're

27:29

recording this at the end of mid-May

27:32

and that's exactly what for the first

27:34

time for years, I've written down

27:36

my whole show. And now I feel like

27:38

part,

27:39

the puzzle is partly completed. It's not brilliantly

27:41

completed. But it's a different

27:44

sort of a challenge now. And I've been experiencing real inertia

27:46

in the last couple of weeks and wondering why. And I think I'm doing

27:48

exactly that. Yeah, it's finished. Like

27:51

you will change this show. Of course you will, but you'll

27:53

be, you

27:54

know, chipping away with a puzzle with a

27:56

chisel, a massive thing of granite rather

27:58

than God, this is

27:59

a metaphor rather than just... You're going for a buzz and what? I'm

28:02

going for a buzz and what? I'm going for a buzz and what? Pull your scarves

28:04

out of a hat. Yes, I suppose, or just set

28:06

up roughly playing with some play-doh

28:08

and it's all soft and malleable because you haven't really

28:10

made anything out of it yet. You've got like, I

28:13

don't want to say Michelangelo's David, I'm sure your show

28:15

is fine, Stu, but come on, let's not overstake. But

28:18

you know, like, you've got a finished statue

28:21

there and you're now making small changes to

28:24

it and it's kind of odd because it looks finished

28:26

whether you feel it is or not. We're going

28:28

to burn the script. I've got to

28:29

burn the script, I've got to delete the script. Oh,

28:32

that's such a good point.

28:33

On the other hand, I mean, who's to say I'm

28:36

right? I've seen some of my shows and they've been fucking half

28:38

finished messers. No,

28:40

but I think you've... Specifically, I'm not... The

28:44

Comedians' Comedian podcast is not suggesting anyone

28:46

in mid-May burn their script. However,

28:48

specifically, specifically

28:51

with the situation I'm in right now, I think

28:53

I have... It has become a trudge and

28:55

it shouldn't be a trudge. It should be delightful. It

28:58

should be, oh, look at all these... I've got all these

29:00

puzzles. Oh, look at all these things. It

29:02

should be me spinning around on a gyroscopic chair

29:04

going, oh, I could do any one of these things just now. And

29:06

it isn't. It's me kind of hunched crying

29:09

over a block of marble.

29:10

A block of David? Crying

29:13

over a tiny penis, which was

29:15

apparently very attractive back then. Yeah,

29:20

which...

29:22

So,

29:24

bear in mind, though,

29:27

that is a risky way to write

29:29

a show. I'm not debating that. But

29:32

I think I had it because I did my... I want to say 2019,

29:34

I think it was. I had a show that was just... It

29:36

was awful. It was awful. Getting

29:39

to July. And I thought, I cannot go to the

29:41

fridge with this. And I sort of... I

29:44

almost wrote it off and it was so refreshing to go, this show's

29:46

rubbish. I'm just going to have fun. And then

29:49

by early August, I was like, oh, this has become really

29:51

funny. I

29:54

was lucky. It could have easily not become funny. But the

29:56

premise that I had the show based on was just

29:58

unsuccessful. And it was like... what's the point?

30:01

I'm flogging a dead horse here. I had a very small

30:03

room, I'm gonna have fun with it. I'm gonna... What

30:06

I like to do is have the show where I do something

30:08

different to what I did the year before, and I don't mean in a getting

30:11

people in way, I mean in a I want to get better, so

30:13

I'm like...

30:14

The year before I told true life stories,

30:16

which was it was a dead mother show because my

30:18

mum had died. And I very much hate

30:20

the cliche, but all you're doing that, are you? You go, yeah,

30:22

but me mums died, it is significant to us. Yeah,

30:25

how do you think about anything else? What

30:27

am I supposed to write? It's an act of artistic

30:29

cowardice to have a pair of die and then do a show about

30:31

anything else. I lay my cards on the table. It

30:34

felt like it is dis... and I think I had a

30:36

different outlook on it in that...

30:39

I mean, this sounds bad, I know, but my mum

30:41

died and we weren't as close as we

30:43

maybe could have been, and while I was sad, it

30:46

didn't ruin my life. And

30:48

that was sort of... and I did have people come to me

30:50

after I showed as a gun, all that happened to

30:52

me and nobody ever talks about it, so that was... So

30:54

why don't you tell him at the 40 minute mark you realised you

30:56

didn't care your mum had died? Well,

31:01

it was... I got in much

31:03

earlier than that, I needed a lull earlier. And

31:07

generally, if I had to say, if there was a routine

31:09

I'm most proud of, it probably is that one, in

31:11

terms of I'm proud

31:13

that I got a laugh, not just off that routine, I got

31:15

a laugh off telling them my mum had

31:17

died. And I think that was... God,

31:20

that sounds horrible, I know, like I have to... Most

31:23

people that listen to this are going to be comedians or big comedy

31:26

fans, people understand that obviously

31:28

it's one way of looking at it. I was sad my mum died,

31:31

I was in the room where my mum died, it was horrible. But

31:33

you do have... I mean, you do have that almost

31:36

psychopathic thing of being in a comic, don't you? You've gone, oh,

31:39

this is awful, remember that detail. And you go, no,

31:41

switch off lately in the moment, your mum's dying, you

31:43

know? And it's... it was a

31:45

very strange thing, but she did... She

31:49

did say something very funny just before she died too,

31:51

which has got to be relevant, you know? And it's...

31:55

I was dead proud of the way I did that bit because

31:57

I learned how to couch a...

31:59

sad bit

32:01

or telling some people a sad bit in a bit of ludicrousness,

32:04

which is, I

32:05

think if you're doing it for me with

32:07

my personality, I can't be harsh without

32:10

a bit of protection around it because

32:12

I look too cute or whatever it is.

32:14

I come across as too likable. So

32:17

it's like, Oh, why is he saying this? But

32:19

I was, I was able to, so what I would say is

32:21

I'll just do the bit. Okay. I'll do a short bit of the bitch,

32:23

the stuff, which is

32:25

I say, and

32:26

I like to sometimes it will say, how do I say this

32:28

bit? And my answer is often just say

32:30

the thing you're thinking. You don't have to cleverly

32:33

metaphor in. So it

32:35

was something like, um, this

32:37

next bit is going to be sad and I don't want to make you sad because

32:40

it's against the remit of what I'm here for. So

32:42

I was speaking to another comedian and I said,

32:44

how do I do sad bits? Cause they've done sad bits

32:46

and I want to tell you this thing because I think

32:49

it's important, but also I've

32:51

got some jokes about it to be, and I

32:53

said, he's started going on and on. Cause that's what comedians are

32:55

like. So like that, like it's more than it is. Yeah.

32:57

The actual secret of comedy, everything, everybody is. If

33:00

you say something

33:04

funny in the laps, they at the next time. And

33:07

then he's, I go, he said, say something

33:09

very surprised and first then slipped the sad bit

33:12

in some, oh, that's good. See something surprised and then

33:14

slipped the sad bit. And so with that in mind,

33:16

a

33:17

couple of months ago, I saw Tom Cruise swallow

33:19

an alligator whole and we mom died. And

33:22

I think that's really, and

33:25

it's,

33:26

and I know some people would say it's a very weak way

33:28

to get a, get

33:30

a heavy subject in, but to me, the fact that people

33:32

laugh at the line and my mom died is like,

33:36

that's quite a proud thing to be honest.

33:42

So this is Lee Kyle. Don't miss disco

33:44

Twix on YouTube. If this has piqued your interest,

33:47

it's an incredibly quick way to get in touch with him

33:49

and suss him out. I'm sure you'll

33:51

love it. I really, really enjoyed it. His warmth

33:54

just radiates out of him and it's got

33:56

some really, really funny and kind of abrupt

33:58

and rude stuff in it as well. well whilst

34:01

being incredibly

34:03

warm and welcoming to all

34:05

comers. Really, really good. So check out Disco

34:07

Twix and of course his new show England's Best

34:09

Comedian is on sale now for his run at the Edinburgh Fringe.

34:12

Catch up with Lee at imleekyle.com.

34:15

My show is also getting ready for the Edinburgh Fringe and

34:17

blow me tight I've found an ending to it at

34:20

last. I've found an ending that is buried

34:22

in the beginning in the way that I love to have which is...

34:25

I don't know. Do you think the Aristotelian idea

34:27

of tragedy being the end... tragedy

34:29

having the end being buried in the beginning,

34:32

is that just a call back? Was Aristotle just

34:34

peddling some hackery? Who knows? But I've

34:37

got to...

34:38

I'm really pleased with the ending. It's

34:40

one of those things that

34:41

this joke on the end of it makes me go oh that's

34:44

now kind of retroactively shaping the stuff

34:46

that goes before it and I'm very chipper. I know

34:48

you've been holding my hand as I've been through a very painful

34:50

journey trying to make climate dread funny

34:53

but I think I have pulled it off. So

34:55

you can catch up with all of my stuff of course at stuartgoldsmith.com

34:58

where you will find linktories to socials

35:00

and links to my online special on YouTube and

35:03

links to my Edinburgh show

35:05

Spoilers which is 3.20pm at the Monkey

35:07

Barrel throughout the month of August in this

35:09

year of our...

35:12

I'm not going to say Lord but our collectively

35:14

evolving consciousness 2023. So that's all of

35:17

that. Let's get back to Lee just now

35:19

and we will

35:21

talk a little bit more at the end and

35:24

remember you can go to the Insiders Club feed

35:26

which you can join for £2 a month for as much

35:29

as you like at comedianscomedian.com slash insiders

35:31

to find out more about how Lee's

35:34

mentality has changed regarding sending emails

35:36

to promoters and he also, while I take

35:38

a little wee break I didn't realise until I went back

35:40

and checked the log for the episode, he also

35:42

sang me a little song which I think is the mark of

35:44

a truly classy guest. Here's Lee.

35:52

I think there's something to be said for carefulness. You

35:55

know like it's... So

35:58

the whole and I don't really want to...

35:59

get into that, Oh, you can't see anything these days thing,

36:02

because it's been debated endlessly and endlessly and

36:04

endlessly. But I've always thought, yeah,

36:06

you can't because you're shit. You

36:11

know, like we've all been on

36:13

bills with acts who can say some horrific

36:15

things without any of the protection that I do

36:17

it, but they're very good at it. And

36:19

they've got twinkle in the eye or understanding of irony

36:22

of 30 years experience or whatever it is. You

36:25

know, you know, but I don't want to get it into

36:27

that because it's a, it's a don't, I'm not interested

36:29

in debates

36:29

that I've done anymore. Like, you know,

36:33

tell me, Lee, what's it like being a woman in comedy? Sexy.

36:42

I've got, I've got a cold fear

36:44

now that people will read that as something other

36:46

than me jokingly

36:49

pointing out that the what's it

36:51

like being a woman comedy debate is a

36:53

done deal and dead and no one can ask about

36:55

it I think that's clear. But

36:57

if Instagram, if Instagram reels

36:59

has taught me anything, it's that people

37:01

will misunderstand literally

37:04

any thought you could possibly have. And they will

37:06

run with an entire invented personality

37:09

for you based on a line that you don't

37:11

even feel strongly about. Yes, I

37:13

asked the other day I asked on Twitter, I think

37:15

about I know it was on Instagram. It was about,

37:17

about my seven year old and I he wanted to watch

37:21

Eurovision. And I said, look, I'm totally a Eurovision

37:23

completely alien to me.

37:24

Is it suitable? And what I meant

37:27

was, is it going to be sweary? Is

37:29

it you know, I know Graham Norton hosts it and

37:31

apparently over a glass of wine and is it is

37:33

it suitable for kids? And someone sent

37:35

me a private message lambasting

37:38

me for my anti LGBT. I

37:40

mean, first meet my son.

37:42

It was

37:46

staggering. So yeah, okay, so

37:48

we won't get into it. We won't get into that into that debate.

37:51

And I'm more interested in you anyway. Yeah,

37:53

let's talk a bit about the content

37:55

of specifically of disco tweaks because well,

37:57

let's let's come back and talk about the content of disco.

37:59

go to X. First tell me where you're at with

38:02

your show this year.

38:03

But based on what I've already

38:05

said about, I have got a title.

38:09

Yes, oh yeah of course you said England's

38:11

best comedian. No,

38:17

I'm very

38:19

puzzled about it to be honest in that

38:21

I don't really know what it is. Correct,

38:24

this is the perfect time to talk to us about it.

38:27

Everyone

38:29

that hears this is now going to come and see it because we want to see

38:31

what it does. God, I could do with that. I

38:35

think it's about rejection sensitivity which is

38:37

a new thing but is it? Is it what it's

38:39

about?

38:41

And is what it's about like how much

38:43

of it have you got? How many minutes have you got that

38:45

you think are that'll definitely be in? Like zero?

38:48

I don't know, still

38:52

I don't think like that. So

38:54

this is my question, so how do you

38:56

think like it's it's are you starting with it's

38:58

about? Are you starting with hey this is

39:00

the stuff I find myself talking about at the moment.

39:03

Maybe there's a show in there. How

39:05

are you approaching it? How are you walking? What you've

39:07

got your chisel in one hand and your

39:09

hammer in the other? In what direction

39:11

are you circling the marble? Are

39:13

you throwing them away and rolling in play though? Where are

39:15

we? At the minute I think this is where

39:18

I am in terms of

39:19

my current fear of rejection

39:22

is my mind's not letting me think about

39:24

it to be honest. Which

39:26

luckily it can't stop it because

39:28

it is but it must got it at the

39:30

back of my mind right now.

39:34

I'm doing what I do which is I'm

39:36

doing a lot of other little jobs for other

39:39

people rather than myself. Hoping

39:41

it all somehow goes away is the actual

39:43

truth. And

39:46

I'm starting like I always start with

39:48

the with going into a thing and oh fuck

39:50

it I'll just do my best stuff because

39:55

that's quite healthy. I'll just fuck

39:57

it I'll just do my best stuff. Then

39:59

it's fun.

39:59

it's playful and you're reminding yourself it's just

40:02

plasticine, right? Yeah, yes. And

40:05

what that means is there's no pressure

40:07

of a blank page. And what always happens

40:09

to is that by the time I get to the everything's

40:12

new, and it's not the best of it all. But I've already

40:14

got an hour. That's all I could look at it as. Well,

40:16

I've got a show so I don't need to worry. Which

40:18

is something I was telling somebody

40:20

who somebody was writing her first

40:22

ever show and that's a bit bad advice. And she

40:25

before she did stand up, well, she still is a singer

40:27

as well. And she did some funny songs

40:29

and I put the songs in. She said, I don't want to

40:31

do funny songs. I was like, yeah, but if

40:33

you put them in, you've already got half an hour and then you

40:35

can take them out rather than add them rather

40:38

than add stuff to a blank paper. So

40:40

at the minute, Oh my God, it's a best of

40:42

with bits of me veering between

40:44

telling them I'm in with best comedian and telling them

40:46

I'm an absolute worthless piece of shit. So

40:52

what

40:53

I do is I think I feel like I take

40:55

massive career risks based on very

40:57

little stew, right to

41:00

hide from the day to day

41:02

connecting your promoters, which I'm

41:04

finding very difficult right now for whatever

41:06

reason.

41:11

I've got this thing about satire, which I

41:13

think I don't like it. And I think if you're

41:15

going to do it,

41:16

I don't like gentle satire because I feel

41:19

like this is not an original thought. It's

41:21

a tool of the it's a tool of the ruling classes.

41:23

Isn't it a gently be porked fun at? Yes.

41:25

Oh God, the first time must be 15, 20 years

41:27

ago where someone first said to me, oh, the thing about

41:30

have I got news for you is it's a big pat on the back

41:32

for the establishment. Yeah. And I kind of went, Oh

41:34

God, I thought it was biting. Oh no. Oh

41:37

God. Yeah, I suppose you're right. God. So I

41:39

almost didn't want to write a joke and I just wanted to say,

41:41

I hope we die. I wish you died of cough and

41:45

I feel like they're going to do it. You've got

41:47

to be vicious to to

41:50

people who you think are genuinely bad. I feel

41:54

that's a legitimate response. Yeah.

41:56

Well, yeah. Yeah,

41:58

I don't know. I mean, it's not. It's not a bit

42:00

I do, but I love to

42:02

see you do it. Maybe

42:06

that's the point of the bit, isn't it? That's comedian

42:08

as pressure vowels.

42:11

It's not something I would have done until then. The

42:13

whole point of this show is I wanted

42:15

to say things I didn't feel necessarily comfortable

42:18

saying, because I wanted to be in a

42:20

show where I felt I was being 100% honest

42:22

about what I thought. So it

42:24

was difficult for me. I really, really, really

42:26

want people to like me. Just

42:29

in terms of the want, what

42:32

do you want in the writing of

42:34

a show? How many shows have you written now? I feel like we've done 10, so

42:36

you don't like 7 or 8. Let

42:39

me think. I think I've done...

42:41

I don't even know. Maybe five, six.

42:44

The first one I ever did was just a one-off that I

42:46

did and I didn't like it. But yeah. So

42:49

just talk to me about it. You don't need to sort of go through them sequentially,

42:53

but how has the want changed? I

42:55

remember doing my first hour of Solo Stand

42:57

Up and I wanted to have done an hour.

43:00

Like I really was like, oh my God, I remember being a

43:02

newer comic thinking, how could anyone ever do

43:04

an hour? That's insane. I wanted

43:06

to do an hour. And then as I wrote the hour, I

43:09

wanted to kind of make a particular point or what

43:11

have you. From what you... Obviously

43:13

there's lots and lots of different ones. If the most

43:15

recent one, if Disco Twix, the most recent

43:17

Take One at least,

43:18

was about wanting to not pander

43:21

to them or wanting to say the stuff you

43:23

actually wanted to say. How has that changed

43:25

from the wants of the previous show? I can

43:27

go through that. So the first show, specifically

43:30

remember, so I did The Fringe in 2013 as

43:33

a triple header and I felt very lucky

43:35

to be honest. Who was your triple header with? With Psy

43:37

Bugleis, who I don't think you'll know. I know the name, I know

43:39

the name. I could talk about Psy for an hour

43:41

and there's so

43:44

many stories that I couldn't possibly put out

43:46

there because what a life that man has led and

43:48

in positive and negative ways. Johnny

43:51

Pelham. Oh, yeah, Johnny's coming up on the

43:53

show. Yes. I can't wait. Brilliant. Yeah,

43:55

and I'm seeing Johnny this weekend. We're both

43:57

in Glasgow at the same time. He doesn't know yet, but I'm going to meet him for

43:59

lunch. I haven't asked him because he doesn't know I'm there. Johnny,

44:02

in the past, we're going for lunch. I

44:04

love Johnny and he's in some ways a different

44:07

person to how he is on stage while being

44:09

the same person. Like I think people think he's constantly

44:11

thoughtful and pensive, whereas he's

44:14

got a wild side as Jonathan. Yeah, and

44:17

I didn't enjoy the fringe that year. I

44:19

felt very lucky that we did it at the stand and it

44:21

was, it felt like we're with no way, but

44:23

I also felt a lot of pressure because I was sort of misunderstood.

44:26

So we would sort of fly our all day because

44:28

I didn't want to let people down. And then I sort of realized

44:31

this isn't actually working. It's just driving

44:33

me to illness. Yeah. You

44:36

know, and I wasn't. And

44:37

it was also insisted that I went on last

44:40

because Johnny didn't want to. And Si,

44:43

it

44:44

was a talented man with a lot of flaws

44:46

turned up without the brand new set he was going

44:49

to write. Yeah. And instead just

44:51

had an act that would not work out outside of a new castle. So

44:53

just,

44:54

just, just compared the show instead

44:56

and spent all of the money borrowed off us

44:59

at the cookies. It was great. And

45:02

I remember watching Seymour Mase's show

45:04

that year and feeling very jealous

45:07

that he had done a thing where he

45:09

was able to allow people in his world. And I didn't

45:11

feel like I'd do that. Yes, yes. Gotcha.

45:13

Okay. Yeah, I'm just saying that's the first time I've thought about

45:16

you in the context of Seymour. And yes,

45:18

he's, you both have a kind of fondness for the absurd

45:21

and yeah, letting people into the world. Got it. Yeah.

45:24

And like, and this is something that we're probably going

45:26

to touch on, but it's something that fascinates me. We're from,

45:28

we're all from, we're both from South times side

45:31

as well, which I think is similar.

45:32

And there's, I

45:34

feel like South times side is certainly the North's

45:36

Northeast, but one of the in Britain

45:39

in a weird way, like almost all of the comedians

45:41

people think of as being Jordy comics are

45:43

from South times side. And I don't know why it's a very

45:45

odd, shy place. And I'm trying to figure it out. So

45:47

I'm talking like Seymour Jason Kook,

45:50

Sarah Milligan, Chris Ramsey, even

45:52

like going back years and years, Eric idols

45:54

from South shields. And I don't understand

45:56

it, but anyway, so I watched

45:59

him and I thought I don't get the.

45:59

chance to do this because on the bad days,

46:02

the gigs already bad by the time I go on and they're getting

46:04

off early, I'm having to fill half an hour. On

46:07

the good days, they are over running and I'm doing seven minutes

46:09

at the end. It doesn't matter what I do. So

46:11

the first show was just me trying to

46:13

get them into, but it

46:16

wasn't hugely successful in that. And what I was

46:18

actually doing was doing my first show and it

46:20

was all of the material I had

46:22

in an order, you know, the second

46:24

year I tried to write a show, I had

46:26

some of the funniest ideas I've ever had.

46:28

Right. And I tried to write a

46:30

show that was just weird and, but

46:33

without a theme. And it wasn't until, Oh

46:35

God, I have to tell you this. So it wasn't until I

46:37

did it in

46:40

front of my

46:42

grieving family.

46:44

When after my mom died, I realized this show

46:46

was all about death and panic about death,

46:48

but I didn't write it. It was so, so

46:51

I booked a show. I booked a lot of shows in,

46:53

um, I started self funded tour

46:55

and it was partly successful. We'll go with

46:58

on this show. And I wish I hadn't done it with the show because we weak the

47:00

show looking back, which had three really good set

47:02

pieces in and lots of work a day stand up

47:05

and the set pieces were, and this sounds

47:07

mad, Stu like

47:09

came from moments of inspiration, like

47:11

one moment of inspiration. I had these three ideas

47:14

in about three minutes and thought this show's going to be a

47:16

myth and I didn't have another idea. So, you know, the

47:20

song love, love in you. It's easy

47:23

cause you're a beauty. So I had this thing where

47:28

I want to do

47:30

a bit where I answered lots of songs posed

47:32

by questions, post my famous songs.

47:35

So

47:36

what I did is I got a, I got a whistling

47:38

kettle.

47:40

He sounds stupid. And I, I

47:42

had it on

47:45

a hot tub on the stage with me and I had to measure

47:47

out the exact amount of water each time to

47:49

play for about eight and a half minutes. Right.

47:51

So I would have music playing and there would be questions

47:53

posed by songs and I would answer those questions and

47:55

I would do little music bits. And then

47:57

that song would play at the end. And

48:00

I would time it so it ended as the kell whistled

48:02

for the high note. Oh. Yeah.

48:05

And I thought, I'm going to keep having it. That was all

48:07

I had. And it wasn't until I put

48:09

these shows in, and one of them was in the

48:12

estate where I grew up. It's

48:15

a small, it was more a community

48:17

center. And I thought, it'll just be interesting. And

48:19

then my mom got ill and died while

48:21

I was touring that show.

48:24

And I was like, this is a big brim. But

48:26

they wanted to do the show to the point where they said, is

48:28

it all right if Macey, who was the mayor who lived next

48:30

door to be granny, right? If she

48:32

does a speech about your mom before the show, and I went absolutely

48:35

not, like, come on now. No.

48:39

What I ended up doing was trying to

48:41

take bits out of that show that I thought might remind them of

48:44

my mom who died two weeks ago. And

48:46

then I thought

48:47

it wasn't until I looked through it that I went, there isn't a show.

48:50

This is all really fun bits

48:52

about fear of death. So that was that one.

48:56

The next one I purposely was writing about

48:58

my mom dying. And it was I wanted

49:00

to tell true stories, which I'd never done before.

49:03

I wanted it to be, I'd get better at telling stories

49:06

than the one after I wanted to get better at making

49:08

up a story and having them off believe it was true,

49:11

but no deep down it wasn't,

49:13

which didn't really work. It was a funny show was

49:15

a show I talked about earlier that I threw all in the bin. And

49:18

I feel it was me most funny

49:21

show like what Beybone's funniness, but

49:23

it was a bit of a letdown in that. I

49:26

think I wasn't good enough at having that bit

49:28

of going, but this isn't quite true. And I think

49:31

most people just believed it was true. And

49:33

what I'd actually done is written a story where I can have

49:35

it looking great, which wasn't the intent. And

49:40

then in the end I was correct. So like, oh, that's

49:42

good. Oh, it didn't actually happen. I

49:44

couldn't quite get it to.

49:47

So I did put a bit at the end where I sort of let

49:49

the air of the balloon and let them know that probably

49:51

wasn't true. But I never said it wasn't true.

49:54

I was a bit disappointed to be self in that way. But I think

49:57

in terms of the laughs, there were some bits

49:59

in it.

49:59

that I was like, I'm really, for sure

50:02

that came in kind of late or something. And that

50:04

gets us to the point where we are, which is that

50:06

last one was about just trying to be

50:09

honest and remove that fear from myself.

50:12

I've gone, hey, don't worry about I know I said a thing.

50:14

I'm not saying any more things you might disagree with. You

50:16

know, I want to remove that. Yeah. OK.

50:19

OK.

50:20

So so I suppose those what

50:23

that kind of suggests to me is

50:26

that's that kind of busy brain, that kind of resonance

50:28

quality that you were talking about earlier that I certainly

50:30

have as well, which is which

50:32

I sort of like you

50:34

see certain comics who work out who they are.

50:37

Yeah, do that. And they do another show.

50:39

Sarah Miffin, you mentioned, you know, brilliant, brilliant comic,

50:41

lovely person and very

50:44

hard worker. This is what I do. And

50:46

I'm going to do it about this. And then I'm going to do it about

50:48

this. And then I'm going to do it about this. And as

50:50

a result, consistency,

50:52

building a crowd, always delivering. Brilliant.

50:55

I certainly speaking for myself

50:57

way more restless than that. What do I want to do

50:59

with it? How am I going to win? It's like I feel like

51:01

I've got a shed full of half finished inventions. And

51:04

I feel that it's a little bit like what you've kind

51:06

of described in going through that rundown of your

51:08

shows and also. Yeah. And it's I

51:11

would say in terms of building an audience is has

51:14

not been a positive. I

51:16

don't know. Yeah. It's starting to happen

51:19

slowly, I think, at least around here. So

51:21

because I put yes, I do think

51:23

of you as someone who there's

51:25

a like there's a particular thing, like if

51:27

I saw your name amongst 15 comics

51:29

at the fringe and someone said, hey, who should I go and see? I

51:31

could suss them and go, yeah. But

51:35

certainly from last year's fringe, if they

51:37

found us in the past, they've forgotten. It

51:40

was a really, really hard.

51:43

But I think a lot of that was in fairness. I

51:45

found out later that I was pretty ill, pretty

51:47

serious, like more serious than I thought.

51:50

So I was finding it very difficult to even

51:53

build up the enthusiasm to

51:55

because that was the show I did that

51:57

you saw in November. I recorded in November.

52:01

And it was the same show but it wasn't as good because

52:03

I wasn't in the room in the way that

52:05

I always am. I was. Yes.

52:08

But also there are these other kind of

52:10

factors that, like I said when I say when we're beholding

52:13

the chaos, some of the factors are

52:15

year on year, more and more and more

52:17

acts.

52:18

Year on year, more expensive rents,

52:20

fewer punters in town or fewer punters who are going

52:22

to take a punt on a particular thing. I just

52:24

noticed it then when I said, oh, there's you and 10 comics on a board.

52:27

At Edinburgh it's you and 3,000 comics on a board. So how,

52:30

like without, because the way the festival

52:32

works is always changing, the way the fringe works is always changing

52:35

and the way that now

52:37

it's become the place where you sell

52:39

tickets to your social media followers rather

52:41

than the place where you build an audience necessarily. You

52:45

know, we're all happening

52:47

during that. It's like

52:48

that's the kind of the arc of the comet and

52:50

we're all kind of in it going, oh right, what do I, how

52:52

do I fit in, oh it's changed again. Yeah. Oh

52:55

it's always changed again, you know, and it's so easy

52:57

to look at that confirmation bias and looking at people

52:59

who appear to have done it well or got a successful

53:02

result from it

53:03

and going, oh, can I copy what they did? You go,

53:05

no, the comets already moved on. Done. Yeah.

53:09

And it's, I don't know if that's solvable and if it is solvable,

53:11

I don't think it's solvable so am I age. And by that

53:13

I don't mean

53:15

the industry's

53:17

moved on. I mean,

53:19

so yeah, people my age can do TikTok

53:21

and I've started doing TikTok, but I'm fully aware that

53:24

it's not natural in the way it is for someone who's 18. I'm

53:26

having to learn it like an old man used to have to learn

53:28

the internet and weed, like, oh you can't even send an

53:30

email. You

53:31

know, like it's

53:34

inevitable fighting against the tide, I guess, which

53:36

you can't fight against. It's,

53:40

it's,

53:43

what I worry I've come across, and this is genuinely

53:46

not the case, I'm really not bitter.

53:48

No, I don't even, I don't even know the question. And

53:51

I'm not jealous. I'm not like, but

53:53

I was. This, I think this is a thing

53:55

that's important to me to say that I think I've

53:57

had times of being jealous of people like.

53:59

I think we all have because inevitably

54:02

you start and then people who start after you, who you

54:04

may or may not rate become more

54:06

successful than you. That is just how it is. That is how

54:09

it is.

54:10

And I've seen people who've been going

54:12

longer than me, who that's eaten them

54:14

up and

54:15

it's eaten and I

54:17

can't do that. So

54:20

again, what I try really

54:22

hard to do now, and I think there'd be

54:24

a number of people who would vouch that I do try

54:27

to do this, is that I really try

54:29

to help people

54:30

because then you

54:31

can't get jealous because their success is part

54:34

of yours. Oh God, that's the

54:36

secret of this podcast. I

54:38

struggle terribly with jealousy and I think that's

54:40

a big part of why, I mean obviously

54:42

I like to help people. I love it when people go, oh

54:44

yeah thanks, I was on the show and loads of people turned up

54:47

in Edinburgh for example. But

54:49

part of it, yes, I think part of it is that. Hi guys, that would

54:51

be useful. Part

54:53

of it. And may I say you'll be promoted

54:55

to being a super goldsmith if Lee

54:58

tells me that you went to his show this year. That's

55:01

all I had.

55:01

But yeah, but precisely that's

55:04

good. That's a good thing. Jealousy is

55:06

a natural emotion to feel and processing

55:09

it not by becoming embittered but by helping

55:11

people, even if there's a tiny element of

55:13

like, because then I'll, I feel that they're,

55:15

you know, I can enjoy their success. I can enjoy that.

55:18

That's a much better way of framing it. And it is hard.

55:20

It is hard. Like I

55:22

always have pangs, even like with some of my best

55:25

friends, if I see them doing a thing that I'm not doing, of

55:27

course you have a woman who will go, oh for fuck's sake. But

55:30

then you go, well I'm glad it's them, not people

55:32

like you. I've read a fantastic

55:34

thing, a really good thought experiment

55:36

for coping with feelings of jealousy. If

55:39

you're jealous, I think I can't remember where I got this, if you're jealous

55:41

of someone, you have to think to yourself, okay,

55:43

well I can have that, but I have

55:45

to have their entire life forever.

55:48

All of it. I don't get to have my life anymore.

55:50

And I think as soon as you think that, you

55:53

sort of go, oh that's preposterous. You know, of course I

55:55

want my life. So I just don't get to have that

55:58

particular. Yeah. And like the truth is, it's, it's. that

56:01

position of going, I

56:03

should be working and making the most money

56:05

and doing all of these things every night, but I also always

56:07

want to be in with my wife watching the television. And

56:11

that's the thing that I think, the

56:13

thing that deep down, other than the rejection for your

56:16

stuff, has stopped me from

56:18

reaching out to various agents over

56:20

the years is that, oh

56:22

my God, I really like being at

56:24

home. I don't

56:27

want to be everywhere all the time. You want to make

56:29

the decisions yourself and you want to be able to say yes

56:31

and no to things as you would normally do.

56:33

So it's a big thing to then change.

56:36

And that's part of getting older in comedy, isn't it?

56:38

And getting used to the comfort

56:40

of your life, the acceptance. Exactly. Yeah. But

56:43

that combined with my current terror of

56:45

sending emails,

56:48

it's not a straightforward path

56:50

into the big clubs in that case. It's

56:53

not, which is why I've had

56:55

to accept that and I've sort of built my own sort of

56:58

thing, I guess. You know, like it's,

57:01

yeah,

57:04

there's loads

57:06

of ways I'd like to change, but it's

57:09

all a process. It's all a,

57:12

don't get us wrong. If any massive agents are

57:14

listening, give us a shot. We'll have a chat, but I don't

57:16

know if I want you. That's

57:19

good. Hard to get, hard to get. I like it. I

57:21

genuinely don't know that's the thing. I genuinely

57:23

don't. I want both sides and you can't have both sides

57:25

and that makes things difficult. Well tell me

57:27

about Felt Nout. Tell me what Felt

57:30

Nout is and why it's called Felt Nout.

57:32

And we've got to wrap up pretty soon. So give us the,

57:34

give us the part of history. Let's see. When

57:37

you say doing your own things and working on your own stuff, maybe

57:39

that's a good time to talk about it. Okay. This

57:41

is the thing more than anything

57:42

is more of it than me, community at the minute.

57:45

In that it's

57:47

very difficult thing to

57:50

explain, I guess, because it's

57:52

more exciting than I think I can make it sound to me.

57:55

So it's a, it's something we set up in

57:57

the pandemic, me and a few.

57:59

with our comics. So

58:02

once people might not know like John Gibson who

58:04

is a Neil Harris who around here and

58:06

by the way go and see Neil's Edinburgh show everybody it's

58:09

he's

58:10

he went from being a boy who had the worst preview

58:13

ever last year like believe me I was at

58:15

it it was horrible in 20 minutes of nothing to

58:17

write to in two months learning animation

58:19

so you could do a show where he

58:21

does a double act with a right-wing animated lion

58:23

who's been fired from seeing him as

58:26

a bite naked. Okay yeah so great great

58:29

yeah you've got okay called healthy it's brilliant

58:31

so um

58:33

so

58:34

we plus some comics people will

58:36

know like Gav Webster and Lauren Patterson came on board

58:38

and we sort of set up during

58:40

the pandemic a cooperative of and

58:43

the point is or any comic in the northeast can

58:45

join and most do um

58:48

so to get work from us you have to live in town

58:50

and we are County Durham and North Auckland it's very

58:52

strict yeah and this

58:55

is like if there's way more

58:57

great comics around here than people know because one of my favorite

58:59

things about comedy is the people who are brilliant

59:01

locally but don't care enough about it

59:04

so you just have these hidden gems and I look back. Is it

59:06

like an agency or a production company?

59:08

What it is no it's it's

59:10

it's legally a community

59:13

in rest company which means we have to do lots of work for the community

59:15

and the community is both the community of comedians

59:18

to improve our lot but also the community

59:20

on a wider and we're also

59:23

legally a cooperative so we're owned

59:25

by our members and we're the only one we think

59:27

of our time in the world and what we do

59:29

is

59:30

a lot of it's about cutting out the middleman in

59:32

comedy so you know the people who and these aren't all

59:35

bad people I'm not saying that but the

59:37

people that we give lots of money to for things that

59:39

we go what we can do this so for example

59:42

this comedian should do so much and we're lucky

59:44

in that we have got ones who work in business

59:46

we've got Neil who does tech so he does all the tech

59:49

stuff and he set up our own ticketing system

59:51

and things we've got Sammy Dobbins as a photographer

59:53

so we get acts for £10 a

59:55

year they first ever headshots so

59:58

we've got a day soon with

59:59

16 new acts who don't have headshots,

1:00:02

they're coming and getting them done and edited and they don't have to pay

1:00:04

a penny for it. And we

1:00:07

put on charity gigs. So

1:00:09

we did, we've done, we do gigs at

1:00:11

the time, see it here, we've gotten, which has allowed us to

1:00:13

book acting at the time,

1:00:15

see it, I would never do solo shows in the theater.

1:00:17

And so, so we've had on

1:00:20

international women's day, the last two years, we've done gigs

1:00:22

for rape crisis, Tyneside Northumberland,

1:00:24

who a friend of mine, the only

1:00:26

friend I still really know from my teenage age, Dawn works

1:00:28

for, and she went, can you help us out? We want to do a gig in a 40 seat

1:00:31

there. And I said, well,

1:00:32

let's see, let's see from the time theater. And

1:00:34

we did, and my two favorite

1:00:37

ever gigs, even though I wasn't on them, because there were just

1:00:39

gigs, female

1:00:40

standups living in the Northeast

1:00:42

doing them, some of them well known, some of them not well

1:00:45

known, but all brilliant. Like

1:00:47

in this year was so lovely. Like it was

1:00:49

hard in that we had to leave some off because the sun came

1:00:51

through like there's no room.

1:00:53

And you think we could, this could not have happened 10 years ago because

1:00:55

there was maybe four of them and two were decent. And

1:00:58

it's like, it's lovely to watch all these great

1:01:00

acts come through and watch people become

1:01:03

quote unquote stars to the local audience. So,

1:01:06

so it's the last Nicola Mantelios. I don't know if you

1:01:09

know who does a character called Zoe, who

1:01:11

is my favorite comedian, which is weird

1:01:13

because she's a friend, she's someone I've started with.

1:01:16

And I honestly think she's the best act in Britain

1:01:18

right now in our own, and it's extraordinary.

1:01:21

Go on, Nicola Mantelios. Yeah. Like

1:01:24

it does a character which I described to you wouldn't

1:01:26

sound as funny as it is. And she dresses

1:01:28

down, which I love, right? She

1:01:31

used to go on stage looking very beautiful and pretty, whereas

1:01:33

now she just, she looks a mess by all purpose.

1:01:35

And she does a character which sometimes, and I

1:01:38

have to defend off this, some people who don't know

1:01:40

this archetype think she's almost plain disabled.

1:01:42

She isn't. What she's playing is the

1:01:45

sort of women you get in Jarrow

1:01:47

council estates who are thick, but

1:01:49

certain of themselves. Okay.

1:01:52

So she's, which is the cleverest person in any room. It's

1:01:54

incredible because she looks and talks

1:01:56

as if she's stupid. So she, she does get

1:01:59

a lot of hecklers. then just kills him within a second.

1:02:01

She's like, you can't, you can't be. Okay. All right.

1:02:03

I look forward to that. And after her going on last

1:02:05

at this theatre show last year, because all the acts, even the

1:02:07

ones who won more experience, like Louise, not more experienced,

1:02:10

but had played big at gigs, Louise Yogan, Lauren Paterson

1:02:12

and stuff, when, no, she's got to go on last year's the best.

1:02:15

And it was lovely to watch them all at the side

1:02:17

of the stage, almost like children just watching. Oh,

1:02:20

yeah. Lovely. And then I'm just going, this is lovely. And when

1:02:22

she came on this year, it's the last act before the break. I've

1:02:25

never heard a buzz for an act like it. Like the whole theatre, I

1:02:27

was like, oh,

1:02:28

it's just been great to help build

1:02:31

a thing for these talented people on this scene who

1:02:34

can, who I think should have more. It's

1:02:36

like a cooperative

1:02:38

agency, but not quite

1:02:40

an agency, sort of a cooperative, self starting

1:02:44

collective basically. Yeah, but it's really

1:02:46

like, it's really sprinted

1:02:48

away with us. We thought we might get one monthly gig

1:02:50

somewhere. And people are coming all

1:02:52

the time. Like,

1:02:54

I had five venues

1:02:56

come on Friday and go, can we do a gig

1:02:58

please? And it's like, yeah.

1:03:00

But more than anything, it's

1:03:02

been lovely. They just watch,

1:03:04

like, I'm not going to pretend everyone in the Northeast best of friends,

1:03:06

let's not be naive, but everyone just mostly

1:03:09

go, I can see the benefit of this. But

1:03:11

in fairness, like I do give myself a

1:03:13

decent share of the word compare with them because I have to,

1:03:16

otherwise I can't afford to do it. Yeah.

1:03:18

But I don't think like without blowing my own,

1:03:20

I don't think there's any acts in the Northeast who don't think I'm

1:03:22

good enough to do it. It's not a case of like, I'll come

1:03:25

up with them because I'm shit. I think you would be one of

1:03:27

them anyway. You know, but we

1:03:30

work on like podcasts with people who are put every Friday,

1:03:32

every Monday together to make

1:03:35

podcasts with people who want to make them and just

1:03:37

loads of stuff. Patreon.com slash felt

1:03:39

now everybody,

1:03:39

please. Why felt

1:03:42

now, by the way, tell me why felt now. We tell

1:03:44

me why felt now and tell me briefly because I want

1:03:46

to the very last thing we've got, we've got about two minutes

1:03:48

left is I want to hear about your solo Royal Rumble.

1:03:50

So tell me why felt now because I need to know.

1:03:53

So what felt now was we wanted to have something that was resonant

1:03:56

of Jordy comedy, but not like we are with Kanye.

1:03:58

I hate all that. Oh, it's a Newcastle. Great.

1:03:59

Felt now was, do you remember the tube?

1:04:03

The TV show, the tube. Yes, there

1:04:05

was a very surreal, I think comedians almost push

1:04:07

it, but comedy odd thing called

1:04:09

Waver saw shave on that. It was also from

1:04:11

South Shields. He played

1:04:13

a Geordie stereotype character who would hit his name

1:04:15

with a hammer and go, oh, I felt that. So

1:04:18

he wanted to call it that because it was a bit punk-er. So

1:04:20

tell me then about your solo Royal Rumble.

1:04:23

Okay. And then I'll ask you if you're happier, then

1:04:25

we'll get out. Okay. Happiness fits

1:04:27

and starts. Royal Rumble.

1:04:32

So the Royal Rumble for those

1:04:33

that don't know, it's a 30 man wrestling match. And

1:04:35

the most famous one is the 1992 Royal Rumble, right? That

1:04:38

is the one that is just, it has just enough different

1:04:40

characters in, so they could all have recognizable costumes.

1:04:43

And I did it at a festival in Newcastle. I

1:04:45

doesn't exist anymore called Jeff's double, which was in a big tent

1:04:47

on the case. It was lovely. And I decided

1:04:49

I was going

1:04:51

to do, I said, can I do this? And I play all 30 characters

1:04:54

in that match. While

1:04:56

the entrance videos played, because some

1:04:58

people end up every minute and a half, roughly, the end, I got,

1:05:01

so I got 30 costumes and wrestled myself. I

1:05:03

set up a ring made

1:05:05

out of chairs and

1:05:08

a line from a washing line. And

1:05:10

it was, it wasn't until

1:05:12

I sort of got out there, the first cost, first two costumes and start wrestling.

1:05:15

And I thought, what do I actually do

1:05:17

for an hour and eight minutes while

1:05:19

the commentary plays over and the, the entrance bits

1:05:21

were fun. I could run off and that would get a big cheer. And

1:05:24

then I was like, but the wonderful thing was a lot

1:05:26

of my family came, right? That's not wonderful. Cause I

1:05:28

was like, this isn't my show. This is a different thing. And they went, why don't

1:05:30

you just do your show? I went, I'm doing this. And

1:05:33

there was a lovely bit where

1:05:35

I think I got them because I was being Rick

1:05:37

Flay at this point, right? That's me in

1:05:39

the Rick and I heard me. Granny say

1:05:41

to me, I'm, she went, I think he's going to

1:05:43

win.

1:05:45

Oh, oh, that's lovely.

1:05:48

You know what? People

1:05:52

have asked if I can do similar again in my health

1:05:54

is that such a case where the answer is no,

1:05:57

no, I can't. Absolutely not.

1:05:59

I've always wanted to do it as a one-off at the fringe, but

1:06:03

I'd have to perk up fitness-wise

1:06:05

quite a lot to do it again. Fair do's. Thank

1:06:08

you! Thank you, mate. It was really nice having you. It's

1:06:10

nice to pontificate, and I know I get rambly,

1:06:13

and for that I apologize.

1:06:15

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You

1:06:17

didn't pontificate any more than I asked you to. I'm

1:06:19

not so fuck used to. I'll see what I like. Yes, there

1:06:22

we go! You can't see anything these days with the walks.

1:06:25

The podcast has been a success, and we've

1:06:27

finally got to the real Lee Kyle.

1:06:29

We're going to join the

1:06:32

Patreon for Felton Out and support

1:06:34

that if we're in the North East and we want to support it. We'll take your

1:06:36

money from anywhere, honestly. Take the money from anywhere.

1:06:38

Your DMs

1:06:41

are open on Twitter at... is it I'm Lee Kyle? I'm

1:06:43

Lee Kyle. I'm Lee Kyle, and

1:06:46

your DMs are open for suggestions about your

1:06:48

rejection sensitivities for you. Also,

1:06:51

I forgot to mention, it's not on sale until June, and

1:06:53

I can't remember when it is, but it's April or May next year.

1:06:56

I've got a show at the Tide Theatre, and I don't have

1:06:58

the fan base for it, so please. Great,

1:06:59

lovely. It's one of me

1:07:02

pointless risks when I do two things a month. Very nice.

1:07:04

And that's LeeKyle.com?

1:07:07

I'mLeeKyle.com. I'mLeeKyle.com.

1:07:10

You think. He believes he knows the name of his website.

1:07:13

And finally, your Edinburgh show is called, is it England's Best

1:07:15

Comedian? England's Best Comedian, Patrey1245.

1:07:19

I'm sure it will be a sure buy then. Great.

1:07:22

Thanks, Lee. Thank you,

1:07:24

Stu. Thank you.

1:07:31

So that was Lee Kyle. 20 more minutes

1:07:33

with Lee on the content of Disco Twix,

1:07:35

some wrestling with gender identity

1:07:37

in his extremely gentle way. And

1:07:39

which is not to say the punchlines are gentle. The punchlines are

1:07:41

massive, but the warmth is so gentle. He's just such a twinkly

1:07:44

guy. I just love him to bits. So I

1:07:46

hope you will check out his show, England's Best Comedian

1:07:48

at the Edinburgh Festival this year. And my own show, of course,

1:07:51

is called Spoilers. And I don't believe

1:07:53

they clash, so why not make it a twofer? Speaking of Edinburgh, shall

1:07:55

we do, let's do Edinburgh chat at the Posthumble. For now, extra

1:07:57

bits. and

1:08:00

Bob's in the Insiders Club with all the extras from all

1:08:02

the shows that have had them. We currently have episodes

1:08:04

in the can for you with Lucy Beaumont, Gianmarco

1:08:07

Seraisi and Geoff Shaw as well, which

1:08:09

is an amazing comedy history

1:08:11

lesson. Also Johnny Pellan, which is wonderful.

1:08:13

I've got loads of people lined up and it's all systems

1:08:16

go. Right. That is

1:08:18

that for now. Catch up with Lee Kyle at

1:08:21

imleekyle.com and Twitter imleekyle.

1:08:23

Catch up with me at stuartgoldsmith.com and you can find

1:08:25

out all the bits and bobs I'm doing if you are in any

1:08:27

way connected to the corporate world. I can come and talk

1:08:30

to you about resilience from the point of view of comedians or

1:08:32

indeed a comic's view of the climate crisis

1:08:35

in which if you're a director of sustainability, I smuggle

1:08:37

in your climate messaging to my stuff. Nice,

1:08:39

right? So if you know anyone who has those kind

1:08:42

of roles, then send them my

1:08:44

way. Lots of stuff. If you check out, why

1:08:46

not check out Stuart Goldsmith dot com? It's so shiny

1:08:48

and I put so much work into it and like I've done

1:08:50

it in a very satisfying way. Like I've done it myself.

1:08:53

So if you haven't noodled around there, go and

1:08:56

noodle around there. I think you'll go, oh, look

1:08:58

at all this stuff. So that's nice. Right.

1:09:00

That's us. Extra stuff at

1:09:03

comedianscomedia.com slash insiders. And

1:09:05

I will post amble at you in just a moment after

1:09:08

this noise of a horse.

1:09:18

Old school post amble content

1:09:20

now. I drove to Falmouth and

1:09:22

back on, I'm going to say

1:09:24

Monday. Lovely room. If you're in Falmouth, go to

1:09:26

toast. I think it's called

1:09:28

is it called toast at Falmouth? That would kind of be

1:09:30

hateful. I think it's toast of Falmouth, which I think

1:09:32

is

1:09:34

better. But the room itself, you're

1:09:36

performing it. It's like a brilliant little it

1:09:38

feels underground despite not being underground. And

1:09:41

you're performing in front of a fantastic kind of graffiti

1:09:45

art

1:09:46

octopus with a monocle.

1:09:48

Yeah. Check out the Instagram post. That's Stuart Goldsmith comedy.

1:09:50

I mean, it's an absolutely beautiful place

1:09:53

with a really lovely crowd. And thank you.

1:09:55

I met a bunch of newer comics there who did kind of

1:09:57

there were some people doing open mics and stuff and then bless

1:09:59

their hearts. They all sat in the front row during my preview

1:10:01

and gaffored to the extent that it became

1:10:03

a challenge because I was kind of doing that

1:10:06

without wanting to tread on that Stuart

1:10:09

Lee mixed ability audience thing. It was one

1:10:11

of those situations where some people are loving it so hard,

1:10:13

you kind of wish they'd shut up a bit because, with

1:10:15

all due respect to you, lovely boys who I spoke to, you

1:10:18

kind of wish they'd pack it in or turn the volume

1:10:21

down a little bit because everyone else can sometimes

1:10:23

react if one group in the room is really

1:10:25

loving it, everyone else can sit back and go, well, come on, it's not

1:10:27

that bad. But nonetheless, very, very

1:10:29

satisfying. Although, and this

1:10:32

is sort of a warning really,

1:10:34

if you're in your 40s, don't, and

1:10:36

you're a comic or anyone doing long drives

1:10:39

in the middle of the night, don't forget that you're

1:10:41

in your 40s because I forgot

1:10:43

I was in my 40s and I drove from Bristol to

1:10:45

Falmouth and back and it took four hours and then

1:10:48

three hours forty-five because the road closes on the way back

1:10:51

and that's an insane amount of time to be driving

1:10:53

and I coped with it and I was safe and then I got

1:10:55

home and fell asleep and I woke up the next morning and I was so

1:10:57

sad I burst into tears. So

1:11:01

that's some old school. That's weird,

1:11:03

isn't it? We were talking about vulnerability

1:11:04

in this episode, but I think that

1:11:07

is some quite old school. I've

1:11:09

got a bit about this in the new show, maybe in the new

1:11:11

show, just about the membrane between

1:11:15

between realities. Right. Come with me

1:11:17

now on a four minute post-amble

1:11:20

head squeeze.

1:11:21

Do you know when

1:11:22

you're feeling pretty chipper and there's

1:11:25

maybe difficult stuff that you're coping with in

1:11:27

your life, but you're feeling chipper, so you're like, hey, I

1:11:29

can cope with this. Oh, that's a pain, but I'll deal with it later.

1:11:31

I'm OK. And so that

1:11:33

sort of feels like it equals being OK. And

1:11:36

then when you are

1:11:38

feeling very low, when all of your, you know, all of

1:11:40

your self-defined red flags

1:11:42

and alarm bells are going, oh, I'm behaving like this again,

1:11:45

that probably means I'm feeling sad. And you think

1:11:47

to yourself, oh, yes, I'm physically exhausted. That's

1:11:49

a big trigger for me. Of course, I'm sad. You

1:11:51

fight.

1:11:51

Do you find? Do

1:11:54

you find that you don't know which

1:11:56

is the real one? Because when you're feeling sad,

1:11:59

you don't think, oh,

1:11:59

well, I don't. I don't think, oh

1:12:02

well, you know, I've not slept enough so I'm feeling

1:12:04

sad so I'm not seeing all this straight. I

1:12:06

think this is the base reality. I

1:12:08

can't cope and the rest of the time I'm just pushing

1:12:10

through it but this is the reality I can't cope. Isn't

1:12:13

that weird? Isn't that annoying? I promised

1:12:16

you four minutes, there's a minute and a half, I think I've said everything I need

1:12:18

to say about that other than asking

1:12:20

you, do you do that too? Tweet me, unless

1:12:23

you're feeling too vulnerable. What did I put on Twitter

1:12:25

recently? Oh listen, oh no, I can't

1:12:28

say the thing I was looking at because it pertains to

1:12:30

a potentially massive, massively

1:12:34

important to me and this podcast,

1:12:37

guest, who I may have. I may have

1:12:39

someone I've been trying to get for years

1:12:41

but I of course I'm not gonna hex it. I may already

1:12:43

have hexed it, I think I told the Insider's Club on the Slack

1:12:45

app, the Slack channel that we have and already I'm

1:12:48

regretting that because I feel like I've hexed it but

1:12:50

I've got someone very very important to my

1:12:52

understanding of comedy and how it works and

1:12:56

I was researching them and I researched a thing

1:12:58

that they do, again I'm being woolly so you can't

1:13:00

work out who it is so I don't feel like I'm hexing it, God this

1:13:02

is pathetic

1:13:03

and in researching them I

1:13:05

got really sad and I think I

1:13:08

tweeted something like, it made me realise

1:13:10

that

1:13:12

so much of the time, because I'm

1:13:14

you know I'm a big fan of comedy despite

1:13:17

having arguably overdone it in my

1:13:19

interest in comedy, I'm a big

1:13:23

fan and yet

1:13:25

what I sort of realised is a lot of the

1:13:27

time I

1:13:30

watch comedy, I find it exhausting

1:13:32

to watch comedy because a part

1:13:35

of me is constantly comparing myself to

1:13:37

the comic, comparing my technique, my kung

1:13:40

fu to the comics kung fu, you know comparing

1:13:42

my place in the industry that doesn't

1:13:44

exist, comparing my success

1:13:47

to theirs, all of this stuff whereas you

1:13:49

know like we've said and thought about a million

1:13:52

times you can't just be jealous of someone,

1:13:54

what's that? It's a great technique I cribbed off someone

1:13:56

recently, if you find yourself being jealous of someone

1:13:58

think would you swap though? with

1:14:00

them forever. Would you permanently

1:14:02

swap? And as soon as you think about

1:14:05

it being permanent, you go, well no, of course

1:14:07

I want my kids and my wife and my life and

1:14:09

my life, but

1:14:12

nonetheless, it's still... it

1:14:14

just basically what I realised was I'm

1:14:17

just in the habit of exhausting

1:14:19

myself

1:14:21

by

1:14:22

constantly doing compare and despair.

1:14:24

Who was that? It was Emma Wilman. This came up in the

1:14:26

Facebook group recently and I couldn't remember who it was,

1:14:28

but it was Emma Wilman said in a recent episode, brilliant

1:14:31

episode, go back and listen to that one, she

1:14:33

said that she paid for some therapy and the therapist said,

1:14:35

well, compare and despair, and she walked around

1:14:37

going, god my god, this is the best therapist ever,

1:14:40

without realising that is a fairly tried and tested

1:14:42

thing to say.

1:14:44

So that... I can

1:14:47

see that logically, of course, that's nonsense,

1:14:49

it doesn't do me any favours, but I think I

1:14:51

don't notice the extent to which I'm comparing

1:14:53

and or despairing in the background, and

1:14:55

so I end up finding watching

1:14:57

comedy a lot of the time unpleasant

1:15:00

or painful or I... or rather than actively

1:15:03

deciding against it, I just kind

1:15:05

of opt out quietly without noticing why. Do you

1:15:07

do that? There must be things in your life where

1:15:09

you do that, you sort of realise, oh, if I'm honest with

1:15:11

myself, the reason I've done Behaviour's XYZ

1:15:14

or I've... I've omitted engaging

1:15:16

with thing... ABC,

1:15:19

is that you... I ran out of letters then, had to get back to

1:15:22

the beginning, um, is that you think

1:15:24

to yourself, I just...

1:15:26

you... you don't think to yourself, on some unconscious

1:15:28

level you could probably admit to yourself you

1:15:30

are... you are sort of subconsciously thinking, ah,

1:15:33

if I do that, I'm just going to spend the whole time going,

1:15:35

I'm not as good as this, so you don't bother doing it. What

1:15:37

a twat. There we go, that's my

1:15:39

new... that's my new self analysis

1:15:42

catchphrase. What a twat. Um,

1:15:45

well, there we are. That's closer to the

1:15:47

time I promised you, that arbitrary promise

1:15:49

I made, and I do recommend

1:15:51

you see Disco 2X. I really... it makes me smart

1:15:54

to think of it, I've a lovely warm feeling towards that.

1:15:56

I've said warmth about eight times, I think Lee's

1:15:58

warm. Um, so...

1:15:59

So, that's that. Yes,

1:16:02

right, more onwards and upwards, onwards

1:16:04

and sideways at least. More stuff,

1:16:07

more gigs, more previews, come and see them.

1:16:10

If you go to stuartgoldsmith.com slash

1:16:12

comedy there will be a link there

1:16:14

that you find the link tree which then blossoms with

1:16:16

all of the up-to-date previews which are, why

1:16:19

don't we just bloody say them while we're at it. All

1:16:21

of the, I can get to it in four, that was four

1:16:23

button presses and a bit of stalling. What

1:16:26

we have coming up is on the

1:16:28

13th of June, that's next week as I record

1:16:30

this, that's two North Down in London,

1:16:33

on the 28th I'm at Block in Plymouth and

1:16:35

then July the first time at Chippendom Comedy Festival,

1:16:37

that'll be brilliant, the second I'm in Bristol

1:16:39

at Red Catch Community Garden, that's a charity gig, the

1:16:42

fourth I'm in Exeter, the seventh I'm

1:16:44

in Swindon at the Hop-In, the ninth

1:16:46

I'm at the Comedy Crate Festival in Northampton, again an

1:16:48

amazing place to spend all day watching loads of preview

1:16:51

shows, the eleventh I'm in Leamington Spa

1:16:53

at the Lounge, the thirteenth the Comedy Box in Bristol,

1:16:55

fourteenth Cheltenham Laughter Hours, Oxford

1:16:57

Comedy Festival on the 15th, Bath Comedy Festival on the

1:16:59

17th of July, 18th I'm at Chops

1:17:02

in Bristol and the 19th I'm at Stooges

1:17:04

Comedy in London. So come

1:17:06

and see one of those. I think that is, that's, might

1:17:09

be too many, I don't want to overcook it but

1:17:11

it isn't cooked yet so you can't make the not

1:17:13

overcooking it decisions until it's cooked, that's

1:17:15

my advice to you. Next

1:17:18

weekend I'm going to attempt to make a vegetable

1:17:20

curry for 12 people which if you know me

1:17:22

at all you'll know is really outside

1:17:24

my wheelhouse but I'm leaning into

1:17:26

it as I grow in age and

1:17:29

attempt to

1:17:30

re-decide

1:17:31

who I am. Apparently I'm the

1:17:33

kind of guy that borrows a massive cruze

1:17:36

cooking pot and cooks a curry for an absolute

1:17:38

ton of people so I'll fill you in with that

1:17:40

as we go.

1:17:41

Bye for now.