1:59

as an unfulfilled comedian, the hilarious

2:02

Alistair Barry. We are going to talk about his forthcoming

2:04

tour, Woke in Progress, which did very, very well

2:06

at the Edinburgh Festival. And let me remind you, while

2:09

I remember, that you can find out dates and ticket

2:11

links and so on at alistairbarry.com.

2:13

He's an Alistair, not an Alasdair,

2:16

or even an Alasdair. He's an Alistair.

2:19

But if you're going to go and look at something about

2:21

him, presumably you've got the internet and Google is your

2:23

friend. You can also find his food blog at

2:25

foodponts.com, but we didn't talk much about that.

2:28

Instead, we talked about not

2:30

only his tour, but also his anger, his

2:34

relationship with humility, let's

2:36

say. We'll talk about his public school

2:39

upbringing and the abandonment issues

2:41

that went on to forge his resilience.

2:44

We are, I don't want, we don't get too

2:47

deeply into the abandonment stuff. Equally, I don't

2:49

want to treat it too lightly, but

2:51

this is not the first stand-up comedian who has been

2:53

on this podcast, who was sent

2:55

away to boarding school, and whose

2:58

life it profoundly affected. Can we all stop

3:00

doing that, please? Unless we want really

3:02

good comedians, in which case, carry on. 30 minutes

3:05

of extra is available exclusively to you if you're a member

3:07

of the Insiders Club, including Alistair

3:09

on his sage advice for thriving at corporate

3:11

gigs. You're not going to believe this. He does a lot of corporate

3:14

work. And we're going to talk about some

3:16

of his advice for surviving and thriving, and also

3:19

deaths and how to cope with them. And we'll

3:21

find out what happened when he played both the Labour

3:24

and Conservative party conferences. All

3:26

of that and more, a proper post-dabble at the end,

3:28

because I've got a specific thing to talk about, which

3:30

I've thought about in advance, very unlike me. This

3:33

is Alistair Barry.

3:37

Hello Al, thanks for coming on the show. How

3:40

are you? I'm very well, mate. Absolute

3:42

pleasure and privilege to be on

3:45

one of the longest-standing, most

3:47

established podcasts in the history

3:50

of comedy. Thank you very much.

3:52

Gosh, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah,

3:54

thanks. Yes, I feel quite good about that. I shall

3:56

dust myself off. Because

3:58

I actually... preparation. I listened

4:01

to Ian Moores one from a few

4:03

years ago. Oh yeah. I was quite

4:05

amused by because you were like, well, we've got you on eventually. And

4:08

I was sort of listening to it in the car the way we did go. Eventually,

4:11

this was 2000, I think it was a couple of

4:13

years ago. Then you

4:15

made a comment about how Ian was one of the kind

4:17

of stalwart bulletproof

4:20

comedy, still closes when you started. And

4:22

Ian started a couple of years before me. So I was like, well,

4:25

fair enough, because he said that thing about all

4:28

of those guys were middle aged white men. So I was like,

4:30

well, it's no wonder it's taken me a couple more years because

4:35

I wonder if I detected and you wouldn't be alone

4:37

in this. I wondered if when you said long

4:40

standing podcasts, there was a note of finally.

4:43

Well, no, no, no, no, no, it is completely

4:47

reasonable. But also, of course, there's a lot

4:49

of comedians in the world. There's an enormous

4:51

amount to get through. It's a joy and a privilege

4:53

to be here. And I'm very glad we

4:56

got around to me eventually, despite the fact that

4:58

alphabetically I feel I should have been slightly further up the

5:00

list. Ah, I think that

5:02

was confrontational many years ago that he and Adam

5:04

Bloemford decided that it must be the

5:06

case that it was to their advantage they had an A

5:08

name because they were in the days of paper diaries

5:10

and notebooks. And undoubtedly, you

5:13

know, myself and both of those guys have had exactly

5:15

the same conversation because I'm a B. So,

5:18

yeah, when you're thumbing through desperately trying to

5:20

find someone, it reminds me

5:22

of when I started out, there was a comic who

5:26

remain nameless mainly because I can only remember his first

5:28

name. But he was like, sometimes I just think they don't

5:30

think I'm that good at all. But they do think, well, he's

5:32

got a Corsa. And I spoke

5:35

to my agent at the time and mentioned it and she

5:37

went, yes, he does have a Corsa.

5:40

Well, I'm sorry, I'm going to

5:43

I don't my car knowledge isn't enough to retcon

5:45

the comedy in that comment. It

5:48

could have been. Well, a Vauxhall Corsa

5:50

is not a particularly exciting car in any way,

5:52

shape or form, but it is a very it's

5:55

very much a journeyman car

5:57

that will get comics and their. you

6:00

know, the driver and the other bit, the rest of the

6:02

bill. Oh, I see. I see. So he

6:04

was very much assessing that he was he was being

6:06

booked perhaps more on his, his

6:09

transport capabilities than his comedic

6:11

capabilities. And my agent did agree.

6:14

I don't know if you've ever booked a gig. Those

6:16

things play in. Absolutely.

6:18

Yeah. That's weird. I think

6:20

that's one of those. That's one

6:22

of those things that we will, we'll talk about this in different

6:25

ways, I'm sure. But that's one of those things whereby

6:28

I'm interested in how the comedy circuit has

6:30

shifted over the duration of your career, because

6:33

you as you know, you were a few

6:36

years after in your a couple

6:38

of years at school ahead of me in terms of comedy, you

6:40

know, you'd have been doing this store and headline what have you when I

6:42

was a squid. And obviously,

6:45

things are so different. Now, a lot of things are

6:48

the same, or it's the same sort of emotion

6:50

or the same thought, but kind of wearing different clothes.

6:53

We were both I imagine of an era where we were

6:55

driving having printed out the Google directions

6:58

pre-SATNAV

6:58

came in over the course.

7:01

I would say that that shows my age even

7:03

more. I mean, I wasn't anywhere near Google Maps. That

7:05

may also point to like... You did it in August. Oh,

7:09

I missed computers at school by about

7:11

a year. I remember when I was at primary school,

7:13

I had an IBM pet in the corner and everyone

7:16

did that basic program, which was run go

7:18

to 10 and made everything. And

7:20

that was literally as far as my coding

7:22

career went. And so

7:24

I never, I'm so late to computers and

7:26

this modern world of TikTok and everything

7:29

is frightening to me, but I have to embrace it. But

7:32

yeah, no, I huge, huge atlas

7:35

in the back of the car. The London

7:37

A to Z was something you didn't leave the

7:39

house without. And you

7:41

certainly never left a town without going round one

7:44

round about at least three times.

7:46

And did you do you miss

7:48

that era?

7:50

Is there anything or do you miss elements

7:52

of that era, kind of like a simpler time in

7:54

comedy? I don't know about missing

7:57

that's kind of, you know, there wasn't a particularly

7:59

fun thing. to be sort of driving

8:02

around with your ginstars passing to one

8:04

side, desperately going, I'm fucking late for

8:06

somewhere in Exeter and trying to read the

8:08

map on your lap at the same time. And

8:11

possibly at that time, even you didn't

8:13

have the wherewithal to use a mobile head

8:15

hands free set. So, you know, I mean, you

8:18

were basically lethal on the roads. I

8:21

think you mentioned how things have

8:23

changed. I think one thing, and I don't know if this changes

8:25

just because of seniority through the

8:28

bill, etc. But

8:31

the thing I do miss that we used to do a lot was all

8:33

jumping in a car together and going off to God knows

8:35

where. And they were great

8:38

journeys. And you know, you were talking comedy

8:40

and all kinds of things. I do

8:43

miss that slightly community feel of everyone jumping

8:45

in a car together, which happens very rarely.

8:48

So every now and then you do a road trip. And it can be I

8:50

did a little one the other day just out of any

8:52

amount of hour a bit with Howard Reed.

8:55

He was quite an enemy. And how was an absolute sweetheart.

8:59

And we go back 25 years, and we

9:01

just had the best drive

9:03

there and back. And you know, I missed that definitely.

9:05

That was nice.

9:07

Do you do you think those elements

9:09

of because I missed

9:11

that. And I could have it more than

9:13

I do. I think there's a point at which I

9:16

certainly remember

9:18

deciding, hey, I'm the headliner now

9:20

I don't have to lift chair. I mean,

9:23

in my hubris. And

9:25

your careers can go up as well as down. But

9:28

I a joke,

9:30

sorry to interrupt, but it's that old joke about you,

9:33

you playing that place twice once on the way up and

9:35

once on the way down. It's just the idea of you on

9:37

the m4 with a car full going, well, it's

9:39

nice to be back. Yeah,

9:42

I think I think that I

9:45

opted out of that as

9:47

soon as I could,

9:48

because it was tiresome and it's a pain in the ass

9:50

to you know, administratively tiresome. And

9:53

I wonder just thinking about it now whether

9:55

I have missed out, I certainly feel like the

9:57

camaraderie in the community was a big

9:59

part of what attracted me to comedy, or certainly

10:02

being on the outside of the camaraderie in the community

10:04

in the same way as you're on the outside of the door marked

10:07

backstage, you know, and you're sort of attracted

10:09

to that and you want to kind of be inside

10:11

that bubble. And then I love being inside that bubble and

10:14

I sort of, I question really sometimes why

10:16

I have

10:18

retreated from it in the way that I have. Is

10:20

that something you've done or gone straight? No, I don't know if I've done

10:22

it quite as consciously as going, I am now the headliner

10:25

and I will arrive at my own good time. I wasn't

10:28

trying to trap you. I'm talking about a specific year

10:30

when you're like, I'm no longer Johnny Open

10:32

Mike driving everyone. No, I don't.

10:35

I was very lucky because I wasn't Johnny Open Mike

10:38

for very long, but I did do a lot of driving.

10:41

There were three acts in particular

10:43

I drove a lot. I'll get to them in a sec. But

10:48

the thing that I noticed more than

10:50

anything else is it wasn't about sort of going, as you

10:52

said earlier, there are a lot of comedians.

10:55

And I think really, if we look at it, there were

10:57

a lot less 25 years ago, a lot

10:59

less going and doing the off the curb gigs here

11:02

and the glee's there and whatever. And,

11:05

you know, I mean, I remember driving to, I remember driving

11:08

Russell Peters to a gig and

11:11

this must have been probably 2001, 2002. So

11:14

I always remember I was driving

11:16

him somewhere not too far away. He wasn't

11:18

an enormous global star at this point, obviously.

11:22

And we were talking about the glee. I just got in

11:24

with the glee. But at that point, the glee still

11:26

made you pay for your hotel. And I

11:29

said, Oh, yeah, I've got the he said, Oh, yeah, I've got that coming up.

11:31

And and I said, Yeah, the hotel's all

11:33

right. This, you know, it's a bit annoying to pay for it. And he went,

11:36

you have to pay for your hotel. And I was like, Yeah,

11:38

yeah, juries, they make you pay for your hotel. And he phoned

11:40

his agent and went cancel that weekend. I'm not paying for

11:42

a hotel. And I was just driving along going bloody

11:44

hell, Mr. Big Potatoes. But

11:47

I think I think there were

11:50

I think the bottom line is not you going

11:52

I am the headliner now. So actually,

11:54

there are a lot of comedians and for all

11:56

the way we look back with rose tinted spectacles

11:58

at those wonderful car journeys. Actually an hour

12:01

and a half there and back with Howard Reed is gorgeous,

12:03

but in real terms you

12:05

if you're still doing lots of car shares You

12:07

are putting yourself up to a very random selection

12:10

of people who may not be quite as joyful as Mr

12:12

Reed and there will be a number of journeys

12:14

where you're going. Oh god I've got this bloke in the back or

12:16

whatever and you do you just get you

12:18

know, I'm 51 now I don't particularly

12:21

want to be driving random people around and I

12:23

will if it's necessary, but I don't think I

12:26

miss that

12:28

So Where are you with comedy

12:30

at the moment? How's it treating you? Because

12:33

we've got like we get on and we've had some fun

12:35

nights together here and there over the years I remember a

12:37

very amusing night at the the comedy

12:39

calf RIP. Yeah

12:42

long long time ago and what I could I

12:44

could definitely do lots of reminiscing and I've deliberately

12:46

kind of started with that Because it's just it's nice

12:49

to see you and it's nice to have you do geeks

12:51

man I sort of think of you this might please

12:53

you I visualize you on stage

12:55

at the store I think of you as like a store

12:57

act to whom the store is important and to

13:00

the mean that's like you were probably playing It when I

13:02

started and I'd have gone. Oh, I'll bury he's one of

13:04

those guys. So forgive me I'll

13:07

end up if I don't watch myself. I'll end up whistling into

13:09

nostalgia, but let's talk about

13:11

Let's talk about where you're at now. How

13:13

many trees So well, I mean it's a

13:16

obvious is you know, it's a huge question right

13:18

now. I'm on tour Which

13:21

I basically kind of grasp the nettle and

13:23

went Because no one

13:26

is really going to tour a middle-class

13:29

middle-aged white man without

13:32

any particular fame or a particular

13:34

angle But I mean

13:37

no one's gonna tour anyone without any particular thing. Well,

13:39

no, well, this is actually I don't I don't entirely

13:41

well partly, I mean I had I had Nigel clafel

13:44

and Phil MacIntyre's

13:46

lot all came to the Edinburgh show this year Or

13:48

no Nigel came last year and they were both like absolutely

13:51

fantastic. Love it. We want to

13:53

tour him we are gonna watch his profile

13:55

and Alright, you're gonna watch my profile

13:57

and it's very difficult to as we all know profile

14:00

is the big thing and

14:02

I fully understand I'm not I'm not a

14:05

ticket selling machine as many

14:07

of our compatros are but

14:10

I've sort of knuckled down over the last few years

14:12

in Edinburgh especially and I

14:15

was looking at this the other day going I haven't had less than

14:17

a four star review since 2015 I think and

14:23

this year's reviews frankly without wishing

14:25

to be overly arrogant

14:27

on a podcast I couldn't have written better

14:29

ones myself they were you know across

14:31

the board just glorious reviews the

14:34

audience reviews were exactly the same

14:36

not a single negative one and I was

14:38

just like well you know this show it's quite topical

14:40

because I'm quite topical comic it's

14:43

not this joke if you're doing jokes about 2022 in 2023

14:45

that's fine but if you're doing them in 2024 it starts to feel

14:50

a bit like you know it's like watching people who are doing

14:52

their lockdown routines at the moment you go come

14:55

on guys and so I wanted

14:57

to tour it and I basically I did a very

15:00

small tour of the show about my wife's breast

15:02

cancer in 2016 but

15:05

that I mean I did it in Australia and I did it

15:07

in Greece and Norway but it wasn't

15:10

really a tour I kind of threw it together this

15:13

year partly

15:15

because I think well

15:17

we I'm sure we will talk about this later on partly because

15:19

I'm on some quite interesting medication for ADHD

15:21

I am more organized than I have ever

15:24

been and

15:26

I put this tour together it's 22 dates

15:28

going all over the place and it

15:30

seems to be going alright so

15:33

that's a very positive thing about the show

15:36

and being able to just go you know what this is good

15:38

I'm gonna put it out there and we did the first

15:41

one last week and we but we sold okay and

15:43

I think the bottom line is if you've got more than 50 people in

15:45

a room you're having a good show

15:49

so on that front very happy

15:51

so with regard to this if we regard

15:54

this as your first tour like you said the other one

15:56

you did overseas a bit but it wasn't like a kind of you

15:58

know X number of dates tour in the UK

16:00

kind of thing. If this is your first

16:03

tour and you are at a stage like

16:05

where you haven't been graced with some explosive

16:08

TikTok, you know, whatever, that kind

16:10

of that thing that motors, you

16:13

know, there's several types of profile, aren't there? You

16:15

do radio shows and TV and then you do the social media

16:17

profile and I'm sure there's, you know, grassroots touring and

16:19

touring and touring, all those kind of things. Is

16:22

it a source of frustration for you

16:24

that you didn't do this 10 years

16:26

ago? Because you would, I'm not, I

16:29

don't mean you were as funny 10 years ago, I'm sure you've

16:31

improved as we all do, but you were very, very funny

16:33

in getting great reviews 10 years ago, but

16:35

you didn't tour then. Is that a

16:37

reflection of how

16:40

your understanding of the circuit has

16:42

changed or your understanding of what it

16:44

is to be a comic

16:46

has changed? I don't

16:48

know the answer to that, to be blatantly honest.

16:50

I think, I mean, the show I did in 2015, we

16:53

did, I think I did about 14 dates in the UK

16:56

and it was, it was a kind of, also

16:58

it was very specialised in terms of, you know, it

17:00

was about breast cancer, it was a show, it was

17:03

a PowerPoint show in many ways. I

17:06

think there was an element of frustration I didn't do that

17:08

earlier, but it's also, I think it's become

17:10

more and more, I mean, there was one big point

17:12

which is going, you know, should

17:14

I do this? Can I do this? And slightly

17:16

forgetting that I have been, you know,

17:19

a professional comedian for 23 years and

17:21

actually there's quite a lot of people. I put things up

17:23

on Facebook going, if you want me to come to your town, let me know.

17:25

And those people are going, oh, are you coming here? Are you coming there?

17:27

And you kind of go, there is,

17:29

there are people out there who've seen Alistair Barry

17:32

and quite enjoyed him and would like to see him again. So

17:34

I think definitely, I mean, there's, I don't

17:36

know about you, I think we're quite similar

17:39

in this. I mean, there's a thing I've always remembered you

17:41

saying about, just because

17:43

you, you can be pleased for someone

17:45

and jealous of them as well. As you watch your compadres,

17:48

you know, the sale on to show,

17:50

you know, I mean, the fact that, the fact that Live

17:52

at the Apollo is the one that's always brought up, but it is a

17:54

club structure

17:57

and yet people who've been

17:59

really smashing the cup. for years haven't played it and you kind

18:01

of go well I could agree we all know we could do

18:03

it. So of course you get frustration

18:05

but then you watch you know I don't know

18:07

who's been on Scott Bennett goes on and you go wicked

18:10

Scott's on that's fantastic. So I've always loved

18:12

that idea because this idea

18:14

you're being bitter you're going I'm not being bitter I'm

18:16

annoyed that I'm not getting the opportunity. You

18:19

can hold two thoughts in your head at the same

18:21

time. Having said that it's still fairly

18:23

clear I'm not going to get put on live at the Apollo for

18:26

the reasons we've discussed unless

18:28

something seismic happens.

18:31

So I'm very happy to

18:33

go I've just kind of grasped a nettle and been really

18:35

pleased by the response and also I think I've I'm

18:39

a bit I'm old enough and I'm wide

18:41

enough I'm experienced enough to go I need

18:43

to go places where punters

18:45

are trusting the promoter to provide good comedy

18:48

rather than Instagram numbers because I haven't

18:50

got as many as I want. I've spent a long time

18:52

building up an excellent Twitter follower only for Elon

18:54

Musk to set the

18:56

bin on fire whilst pissing on it.

19:00

So I don't regret it

19:02

as such but I do think the way

19:04

the circuit is now this

19:07

is a this is becoming a much more valid way of

19:09

going about it if you if you've got the gear

19:12

because that's the big thing I mean I heard an interesting thing the other

19:14

day about the Frog and Bucket has

19:17

stopped taking shows from Tik Tokers

19:20

because they've literally been getting people who

19:22

sell out the Britain and I mean they

19:24

apparently had one guy on stage holding his phone

19:26

going yeah this this video do you remember this one I

19:29

did and they've been yeah they've

19:31

had like two or three shows they've had to give refunds

19:33

for it not being a show and the one thing

19:35

that we all have frankly

19:38

is chops and they are actually quite

19:40

a valuable commodity and I am quite idealistic

19:43

about that.

19:44

It's interesting isn't it because I think

19:47

we're of an era

19:49

a sort of transitional era I

19:53

don't know me more so than you I don't know if this

19:55

is a five five years or so difference between

19:57

when we started but we're definitely you know whatever it is

19:59

like a zenia supposedly, and someone who

20:01

can fix a cassette with a pencil, they also

20:03

know their way around the internet, you know. And

20:05

that's a very specific thing. I just can't

20:07

remember where I put the cassette, that's all. Yeah,

20:11

like that's a very specific transitional phase,

20:13

and I definitely think that we are of a

20:15

comedy transitional phase whereby

20:18

in the olden days, in days

20:21

of yore, having chops was

20:23

sufficient, being funny was sufficient,

20:25

turning over material was sufficient. There's

20:27

a circuit, you learn what it is, you

20:30

recognise that it exists, and then you fold yourself

20:32

into it and you fly around it. It's almost like a company

20:34

existed whereby it was possible to

20:36

climb to at least the top of the

20:38

middle. Do you know what I mean? Progression

20:41

existed in a framework. Under

20:43

our feet and all around us at the same time,

20:45

this whole new way of doing it has emerged,

20:48

which is based, I don't think, just in kind of internet,

20:51

and you can look at kind of outlying explosive

20:53

TikTok people and what have you. But it's not

20:55

simply that people with followers

20:58

are getting booked now and they can't do the job, so

21:00

much as what the job is has changed,

21:02

because the job of the factory of comedy

21:05

a long time ago was

21:07

to, certainly in the UK, take

21:10

in any comedian who can do it, chop

21:12

up the night and let every comedian who can

21:14

do it do it, and sell tickets on

21:16

the door and pay them a wage, safe

21:19

in the knowledge that the wage will remain the same for the next 40 years.

21:21

Yes. But what's

21:24

really going on is tickets are being

21:26

sold to people in return for a good time.

21:29

And now rather than that factory existing,

21:32

it's like anyone can say, I'm

21:34

capable of selling a ticket, and

21:36

so they can sell a ticket. And to those of us

21:38

who kind of bash the circuit for years and

21:41

didn't and can't

21:44

click their fingers and sell 500 tickets and fill a decent

21:47

size room. I mean,

21:50

I feel a certain amount of I don't

21:52

I don't think I call it resentment anymore, but the resentment

21:55

is definitely something I've had to work through

21:57

because I was like, hang on a minute, you bastard.

22:00

I thought there was a sister. I thought

22:02

that simply by being brave and by

22:04

knowing, and I can't credit this, I'm sure I saw it on a tweet,

22:06

if anyone knows it, please tweet it at me, at comcompod.

22:10

It was something along the lines of the biggest

22:13

change in comedy is that it is no longer

22:16

a secret that if you talk with

22:18

charisma, people will listen. And it was

22:20

like years ago, we'd learnt that

22:22

secret and no one else knew it. No one else

22:24

knew. We covered it

22:25

in our secret. Yes. No one else knew we covered it

22:27

in the secret.

22:28

There's a thing. I can be part of this company and rise to

22:30

the top of the middle at least. There

22:32

was that idea of progression and now that has

22:34

exploded. And I think for me, my

22:37

feelings about that are something I've had to

22:40

work through. Certainly we are

22:42

seeing now people, I think I'm very happy

22:44

that now there is a kind of a confluence of people

22:47

who do have chops and have worked really hard

22:49

to build them up are now in

22:51

a position where they've got, they can click their fingers and sell 500

22:54

tickets or far more. But just

22:56

talk to me about your sort

22:59

of journey through that and your emotional

23:01

response to it. As someone who's had

23:03

the chops for a hell of a long time, has been getting

23:06

great, great, great five star views at Edinburgh for a hell

23:08

of a long time

23:09

and

23:11

hasn't necessarily been able to parlay

23:13

that into the finger clicking My

23:16

emotional response to it. I mean, again, I just

23:18

come back to, and it's probably to my

23:20

detriment, but I do come back to a slightly idealized

23:23

view, which is, I mean, it's something that

23:27

Craig Campbell said many years ago is just keep

23:29

on going because when they come, you'll

23:31

be better than you would have been, basically.

23:34

And they may never come. Who are they? What is

23:36

that anymore? Because the

23:38

problem I do have is that, I'll

23:41

give you a great example. I was talking to Jimmy McGee

23:43

the other day, and he was at

23:45

the comedy store MCing and

23:47

he had his flies undone and he didn't realize and

23:49

the opening was a little bit sticky. He wasn't sure

23:52

why. And then someone went, your flies are undone.

23:54

He looked at it was one of those sort of wasn't just the

23:56

flies are undone. It's one of those gaping incidents

23:58

where it was entirely obvious. to everyone this flies

24:00

one time he's like you bastard you didn't tell me about her

24:02

and because Jimmy's great and a wonderful MC dealt

24:05

with it made it funny did

24:07

his flies up got the first act on and one

24:09

of the other acts who was a newer actor I can't remember

24:12

it wasn't whose name I forget was a girl set

24:14

came up to him oh my god that is so viral

24:16

immediately and Jimmy who

24:19

Jimmy Bessin isn't even on Facebook or Twitter

24:21

or anything he's Jimmy's just like I don't care

24:24

and I have a lot of sympathy with that point

24:27

of view because you

24:29

know

24:30

the flies are open I mean maybe it is

24:32

funny video maybe I'm being stuck in the mud but there's

24:35

a lot of stuff going on at the moment for

24:37

instance I don't know if you've heard this certain clubs in the states

24:39

are now banning crowd work because

24:41

of the amount of uh whoa

24:44

I have that amount of acts going on

24:46

and just going hey look at that shirt you know

24:48

that's uh whatever blah blah blah

24:51

and desperately trying to create TikTok moments

24:53

I had it the other day frog and bucket bloke in the

24:55

balcony talking and I was just like they're

24:58

much closer to you than they think they are at the frog and bucket

25:01

and I was like are you can I

25:03

help you and he just went and I I dealt with

25:05

him and then he said that classic

25:07

ah well I've helped your act out haven't I

25:09

at which point 20 years of experience

25:12

came rushing down on his head and I dealt

25:14

with him there was a little you

25:16

know you're on stage editor that you've always got my

25:19

own stage editor in my head was just going this

25:21

is the sort of thing they love on TikTok isn't it you

25:24

absolutely destroying a heckler so there we go

25:26

and it's that I don't think

25:28

that's particularly healthy for comedy I

25:30

think it's a great part of comedy but

25:33

it's something that is joyful and

25:35

of the moment

25:40

so this is Alistair I can only apologize for

25:42

the awful nasal quality of my voice once

25:44

again I'm poorly and it's not just you

25:47

know uh none of my stuff I was going to say something

25:49

glib about Covid but the reality

25:51

is I sort of get chest infections every year and always

25:54

have since I was about 20 but I'm not

25:56

going to say anything glib about Covid in fact

25:58

I may well edit this bit out Did

26:01

I? I don't know, let's assume I didn't. So,

26:04

more from Alistair shortly, remember half an hour

26:06

of extras including Alistair's sage advice for corporate

26:09

gigs and a romp through

26:11

some of his worst deaths, which was

26:14

fun to listen to and

26:17

kind of nerve-wracking to listen to as well.

26:19

All of that available to you on the Insider's feed for

26:21

a minimum donation to support the podcast of £2 a

26:24

month. And if you're one of the people who've been listening for

26:26

a hundred years and has yet to support,

26:29

then feel free to keep on doing that. It's

26:32

not a hostage situation, but if you did fancy supporting

26:34

it, that would be very lovely indeed. So

26:37

more on the Insider's feed, all of that at comedianscomedian.com

26:40

slash insiders. And more from Alistair

26:42

shortly, a reminder, alistairbarry.com

26:45

for tour dates and tickets for Woke In Progress.

26:47

And also an alarming amount of social

26:50

accounts all under the title Alistair

26:52

Barry. That's Twitter, Instagram, TikTok,

26:54

Facebook, YouTube and Blue Sky by

26:57

Jove. He's got the lot of them just

26:59

with his own name. I think that's the first time that's

27:01

ever cropped up in over 400 episodes. Well,

27:04

more from Alistair in a second and more

27:06

from me with a post-damble afterwards. But,

27:09

well, that's... I mean, what else am I doing? I'm

27:11

doing shows, I'm doing stuff, this is, you know,

27:13

irons in the fire and so on, but nothing specifically

27:15

I'm launching. So let's crack on here now. I'm

27:24

fascinated to hear there's a club that's banning crowd

27:26

work. Of course. I mean, that's one of the

27:29

fun things about comedy, isn't it? Everyone

27:31

is, everyone involved in it is a tiny entrepreneur.

27:34

And as a result, everyone goes, oh, we're all

27:36

doing this. Well, no, they're doing that.

27:38

And a huge amount, if you've ever booked a gig, and

27:41

if you ever mistakenly said on the Facebook

27:43

Pro gigs page, I'm booking a gig, and bang,

27:45

suddenly your inbox explodes. And you're like, what

27:47

a lot of people there are out there hovering

27:50

with drive and determination and hunger and,

27:52

you know, positive and negative versions of that. And also...

27:54

I think it's fascinating seeing how it kind of morphs in

27:56

a... And also, without wishing to be rude, I

27:59

have...

27:59

I've just literally, before I got on here, I actually had

28:02

to advertise for a tour support slot because my

28:04

tour support can't do it. And it's

28:06

a bracknell, which is a gorgeous gig. So

28:09

I'm going to return to that, but I must say I tried

28:13

to replace myself and Mick Ferry at

28:16

a gig a little while ago. Mick, one of

28:18

my best friends, we were both doing a festival because we were doing

28:20

something which got cancelled. And

28:23

I said, we need to, you know, stalwart

28:26

headliners, basically. I mean, Warhorse, for

28:28

want of a better word. And some of the

28:30

responses I got, I was just like, I

28:33

mean, I'm all for self confidence and pushing

28:35

yourself, but this is not what I

28:37

asked for. You are not Mick Ferry. And

28:40

I think, yeah, as I say, self confidence is not

28:42

a problem. But there is, again, there's a lot

28:44

of people out there with drive and determination who

28:48

and again, maybe we're all just all for our

28:50

drive and determination, I think was mostly directed

28:52

towards trying to do the best comedy we can.

28:55

I had a fascinating conversation last week

28:57

with someone about doing my social media,

29:00

who was high wateringly expensive

29:02

because it's a very much in demand skill

29:05

these days. And some of the things she was telling

29:07

me were fascinating. And some of them were so depressing,

29:09

like, if you put something up like a bit of

29:11

content,

29:13

first three seconds, if you don't get the first three seconds, you're

29:16

fucked. And then and I was going, how

29:18

long should the clip in 30 seconds? I

29:20

struggle to find I've got of

29:23

course, we've all got one liners, we've all got but I I

29:26

think one of the biggest problems my generation has is

29:28

we've got these bits that we've sort of polished

29:31

and honed and then you go, can you go that around 30

29:34

seconds? And I don't

29:35

if you're Gary Delaney, bloody

29:38

marvelous. But not a lot

29:40

of us are going to isn't it

29:42

a different thing, though, whereby they're not saying

29:44

do a perfect Gary Delaney, Stephen

29:46

Wright style one liner in 30 seconds that

29:50

is funny within three. What they're

29:52

asking is adapt, change,

29:55

be funny in a way that isn't geared

29:57

towards the live experience of people standing

29:59

in a conference. sitting in a comedy club be funny

30:02

in a way that's geared towards the experience

30:04

of someone scrolling through Instagram quite

30:06

I because I think is that a mistake to think

30:08

I can't be funny in 30 seconds or is

30:10

it because you can you're a funny person It's just

30:12

that you are optimized for being

30:15

funny under a certain set of preconditions and

30:17

is it too far down the line for

30:20

you to change the what's

30:22

you know to to sort of broaden

30:25

the way in which you're funny to add a different tool

30:27

to your toolkit Because you know

30:30

as we all are beginning to know that if you can do

30:32

that

30:33

Then you can do the thing that you home phrases.

30:35

You can do the thing for which you've optimized. I'm Possibly

30:38

I don't I don't like it. I'm

30:40

sorry. I just I

30:47

think the other thing to look back on is if you

30:49

think about like when I started Getting

30:52

my I've got my first video from the store And

30:54

you know the first five minutes I did that still

30:56

remains one of those just one of those gigs you walked

30:58

on said the Right thing first and everything went gloriously

31:01

and Don Ward came backstage and went you're very confident

31:04

And it was just it was one of those you know what

31:06

you I had difficulty getting my head out I mean I've

31:08

done five minutes, but I had difficulty getting my

31:10

head out of the store doors that day and

31:13

but that video you sort of clutched as

31:15

your You

31:17

know your sort of passport the funniest thing about that video

31:19

of course was there was only one microphone in the room Which is the

31:21

one you were speaking into so

31:23

I remember showing it to my mother because I only just obviously

31:26

started this is like 99 and And

31:28

I'd had such a good gig and my mother went well.

31:31

They're not laughing very much I was like they are laughing

31:33

just a bit But but

31:36

the whole point of that was that was your sort of that

31:39

was that was technology then cutting edge Here's

31:41

my store video. There was no way of sharing

31:43

it particularly because the computer Industry

31:46

wasn't up to it yet the software wasn't there, but

31:48

you when

31:51

you had that sort of thing the

31:53

idea of filming stuff was an

31:55

absolute anathema because if you ever had something filmed

31:58

you were essentially giving it away So

32:01

people didn't want to present to did

32:03

not want their material filmed and if you

32:06

did go I am going to do a TV show

32:08

and it's going to be on there You knew you were sort of saying goodbye

32:10

to that material But it was the best

32:13

it could possibly be and you kind of sent

32:15

it off Broke a bottle of champagne

32:17

over its bowels and went go my beauty And

32:20

I think there is still a certain level

32:23

Which may be a problem as you say of

32:26

my generation going? I don't want

32:28

to put stuff out there that I don't think is good Whereas

32:30

a lot of people these days get just put something out at

32:32

the same time every day That doesn't matter what it is.

32:35

Just put it out That's what will get you the algorithm

32:37

and the purist in me goes no

32:40

I'm not going to put out me going. That's

32:42

a shit shirt come and see Alistair Alistair

32:44

Barry comm Every day just

32:47

so I can put something out every day

32:48

and that's to my detriment yes,

32:51

yes, and I think that I Share

32:54

that kind of resentment and I share

32:56

that sort. I certainly have shared that feeling

32:59

of oh, come on I've got

33:01

really good at making guitars

33:04

and But you were in

33:06

order what in order to sell my guitars I've

33:08

also got to get good at painting pictures I'm

33:10

but I'm good at making guitars and I think

33:13

that we we see more and more people

33:15

around us going well, maybe if I take

33:17

the sort of the What I

33:19

love about making guitars, maybe

33:22

there is a Transferable thing

33:24

that will enable me to find a new way

33:26

of painting pictures that surprises

33:28

and amazes Do you mean because it isn't about going

33:31

like, you know, you've got a shit shirt

33:33

I'm gonna do some terrible crowd work or whatever

33:35

it is. There are plenty of people younger

33:38

exciting people that I am For

33:41

whom I am very happy Who

33:45

I can see oh that's clever they found

33:47

a format that lasts nine seconds,

33:50

it's funny. It's interesting They're doing the same

33:52

joke over and over again, maybe but I've seen their

33:54

act and their act banging And all they're trying to do is sell

33:56

their act. They're trying to find a fun

33:58

and engaging way for them

33:59

for them of doing it. And surely, as to

34:02

yours and my ADHD brains, isn't

34:04

this supposed to be our superpower? I want these folks

34:06

to be able to be flexible and come up with ideas.

34:09

Just every time I sort of lose my thread, just cut

34:11

it there and go on to the next one. But

34:13

I don't, it's not resentment. I don't think it's resentment.

34:15

You said, I don't resent that. And I watch,

34:17

like, it's quite funny at the moment, my wife

34:20

is very big on watching Instagram

34:22

videos and there's, George Lewis does some great ones

34:25

as a dad and stuff. And you kind of go,

34:27

that's kind of sketch comedy, especially as

34:29

it's revolutionized. And it's fascinating. And people

34:31

who do it well, do it really well. I mean,

34:33

I did hear a funny story the other day about a woman

34:36

who had six and a half million

34:38

Vine followers and was doing it perfectly.

34:41

And then suddenly, Vine stopped. And

34:43

she went from being a media celebrity,

34:47

essentially, to absolutely nothing.

34:49

So it's, you know, it's

34:51

a strange mistress, the internet that it's

34:54

devouring content. And I think that's

34:56

much larger than comedy. I think it devours

34:58

and demands content. And I

35:01

think there's nothing wrong with being quite

35:03

fussy about the content you put out there. Having

35:06

said that, I just had a meeting

35:08

with a social media person because I'm looking at ways

35:11

to spread

35:14

my social media growth. It's the best way to sell my tour.

35:17

I've promised loads of people I'm going to be doing loads

35:19

of videos because I've got so much video

35:21

backed up that needs editing and I'm

35:23

not very quick at it. And

35:26

I'm going to be putting that out there. I probably will be trying

35:29

to put it out at the same time every day because I do

35:31

realize you have to play the game.

35:34

But the voracious

35:36

requirement for content, and this is something

35:38

that's fascinating about Twitter at the moment as it falls into

35:40

absolute horror. It's so

35:42

awful. It's so awful horror. Have you seen the blue

35:45

tick blocker? If you look at Twitter

35:47

on your laptop, you can download an extension for Chrome

35:49

that blocks anyone who has a blue tick. And suddenly,

35:51

Twitter's nice again. Well, I've actually

35:53

just joined Blue Sky, which is rapidly becoming

35:56

very much like Twitter was. I

36:00

can see that taking off because it's basically

36:02

Twitter but Musk's I

36:05

mean I take the view that Musk's clearly

36:07

is Wrecking it for a reason because

36:09

it is a bin fire And

36:12

I think his motives are extremely suspect

36:14

and everyone go God does he not know what he's doing? I don't think he

36:17

doesn't know what he's doing because it's especially

36:19

for someone who uses it as a tool To

36:21

build up audience and as a writing

36:23

tool as an interaction with other tools and

36:26

as a news gathering service It's gone from

36:28

being really quite fun. Although obviously quite poisonous

36:30

at times to being horrific

36:33

and useless more importantly but

36:37

There's loads of things that happen online that you

36:39

know if you look back in the day I put a thing

36:42

up on tiktok a little while ago it was an old

36:44

routine about cocaine and it did a

36:46

hundred thousand views in a day and If

36:49

you've done that in like 2008 you'd have

36:52

been going well, I should be booking Wembley

36:54

then in 2023 you're

36:56

going. Yeah, I wonder what I said on the algorithm that

36:58

made that one work So yeah,

37:01

you know I'm not in any way saying

37:03

that you can't adapt and you don't need

37:05

to move you The goalposts

37:07

move you have to move with them But I

37:10

will retain a certain ideological purity

37:13

about what I do because I would

37:15

I do it in a room I do it

37:18

in a room and I don't do it in into

37:20

someone's living room for 30 seconds And if that makes

37:22

me a sad old reactionary bastard,

37:25

I have to apologize

37:27

one of your stock in trade Things

37:30

one of your stocks in trade. I don't know if that's the sentence.

37:32

Yeah, it's sort of right righteous indignation

37:35

Oh god. Yes. Yes the Guardian

37:40

Where does that is that? Is

37:43

that pleasing to you because you think oh good

37:45

they're getting what I'm putting out Um, is that

37:47

is that is that is that is that really

37:49

of your of your personality? I mean,

37:51

I would I would hazard a guess that it is. I

37:54

think it is to a certain extent Yes, but I mean, I think

37:56

I mean I wrote a show 2007 called

37:58

obviously because I was just like obviously

37:59

this is fucking idiotic. I mean, why on

38:02

earth would you, you know, what do you mean you believe

38:04

in God? I mean, it's the same fucking story, three different

38:06

Abrahamic gods, and yet they're all different, they're all fucking

38:08

killing each other. Obviously, even if there is a God,

38:10

it's the same fucking, you know, and that

38:13

kind of level of, um,

38:16

and it's, I mean, get it right. And I've got, as you

38:19

say, it's one of my, sort of my wheelhouse is, when

38:22

I write a good rant, uh, to

38:24

be honest, I don't even write a good rant. When a good

38:26

rant comes out of me, uh, I'm

38:30

usually kind of, ah, that's good,

38:32

because that'll go there in the show. And, and there is an

38:34

element, I have, it's a cheap trick, having

38:36

talked about idealism, uh, that you

38:38

do know that you go, and then finish on the punchline. Round

38:43

of applause. And you just go, uh, how much

38:45

of that round of applause was for

38:47

the brilliance of the comedy? How much

38:49

was it engineered by the feat of memory

38:51

and the general rhythm? But, uh, again,

38:54

you use the tricks available to you. But I

38:56

do, I mean, I do get very

38:59

ex, I mean, I'm hugely exercised

39:01

by this government to the, to the point of being boring

39:03

about it, which you have to be very careful about on stage, especially

39:06

as a political comic, you know, some people,

39:08

you just walk on stage and go, Rishi

39:11

Sunak. And they go, Oh God, I came to

39:13

comedy to not listen to shit about politics.

39:15

But I'm a big believer that if you can't

39:18

make it funny, you shouldn't be doing it. And

39:20

I've had so many people over the years going, I don't normally like stuff

39:22

about politics, but I like that. Um,

39:25

and I am

39:27

furious, incandescent

39:29

with fury about this government. So

39:31

that righteous indignation of, of,

39:33

and also of how it's so obviously

39:36

corrupt, the fact that Rishi Sunak can

39:38

stand up. I mean, what kind of cunt

39:41

goes to Manchester specifically

39:43

to announce to the people of Manchester

39:46

that there is no longer a train line that's going to happen

39:48

to and from Manchester. But

39:50

more importantly, he then announced a

39:52

load of things they were going to do with the money, which

39:55

two days later, it becomes clear, they're not going

39:57

to do. It was all lies, their illustrations,

39:59

and you just go. So can I, right, this

40:01

is mad.

40:03

And I do get furious.

40:05

And the

40:06

trick of being a comic is not to let the fury

40:09

over weigh the fact that it's got to have the rhythm

40:11

and it's got to have the punchlines. So yes,

40:13

righteous indignation is very much part of

40:15

my thing.

40:18

And what's your relationship to anger

40:20

in your off-stage life?

40:23

Well, here's a question. As

40:25

the father of young children, you

40:28

might know something about this. I have never got angrier

40:30

than I get with my children. And to

40:33

the extent that I've had to go and

40:35

seek some help,

40:38

I've always my entire life not really

40:40

thought I was angry. I've always thought, and sort

40:43

of old friends, I went for a meal with

40:45

an old friend the other day, he's like, you know,

40:47

because you've never been an angry person, have you? And

40:49

I went, mate, I'm... And it turns out

40:52

that, you know, that

40:54

wonderful Rabi Burns line,

40:56

I would, I've got some gift to give us to see ourselves

40:58

as others see us. That's the worst Scottish

41:01

accent you will ever hear online. I'm

41:03

leaving it in. I'm leaving it in. I would

41:05

if I were you. My half Scots

41:08

ancestors right now are crying. But

41:10

no, I would send God the gift to give us to

41:13

see ourselves as others see us. And

41:16

I know that I can come across a smug, arrogant

41:18

aloof. And I know that a lot of people

41:20

when they get to know me better realize that that's not the

41:22

case.

41:23

But

41:24

the difference between how we present ourselves

41:27

and how we really are is

41:29

always enormous. And we don't

41:31

know. It's almost like, you know, that first time you ever heard

41:33

your voice on a tape and you go, God, that's not me. There's

41:36

an element of that about all of

41:38

our personalities. And I never

41:41

thought I was that angry. I mean, I get angry and exercised

41:43

about certainly

41:45

about about wanting the world to

41:48

be a better place. And so many of the ways in

41:50

which you could easily make it better place are

41:52

not being employed. And it just seems fucking idiotic

41:54

to me. But on a personal level, yeah,

41:58

I have been. And

42:01

then the discovery that I had ADHD, which

42:03

obviously in order to work as a comedian these days is

42:05

an absolute requisite, was

42:07

very interesting

42:09

because... Just before

42:11

we get onto that, I just want to go back. I don't quite get

42:14

the resolution of that thing.

42:16

You were chatting to a friend. I was chatting to a friend.

42:18

And he said you didn't think of me as an angry

42:20

person. And

42:23

what was the purpose of the

42:25

Robbie, the we Robbie Burns

42:27

quote? Was it that you realised

42:30

people didn't realise you were as angry as

42:32

you were? I don't think I was

42:35

that angry. But my wife has said to

42:37

me, no, you can get really properly

42:39

furious. And we've had... So

42:42

pre-children, you have a relationship

42:44

with anger that you didn't really know about?

42:46

I think that's probably

42:48

true. I also think I've

42:51

always been, I don't know, I'm certainly not saying

42:53

this is part of my belief system. But Libran's

42:56

are meant to be very diplomatic as a Libran. And I

42:58

have always been very diplomatic and I do

43:00

see both sides. Very

43:04

you know, and I'm very pretty

43:07

good at settling disputes. But I had

43:09

a very fiery first marriage. My

43:12

wife and I have, I mean, Emily said to me

43:14

the other day, you know, we've had some proper sort of wing and

43:16

you kind of go, oh, have we? I didn't realise

43:18

they were quite... It's just that thing of you

43:20

don't realise... You're calibrated differently

43:22

to require a relationship. I understand.

43:25

And so that's hence the Burns

43:27

quote. But I

43:31

have never thought of myself as that angry

43:33

and I've always been quite diplomatic, but I've had to come to the realisation

43:36

that I'm probably wrong.

43:39

Is that because when you

43:41

certainly my experience with I think of myself,

43:44

I was never an angry person. Kids came along, holy

43:46

shit, I can't cope with this. I'm never really angry with

43:48

them. I don't

43:50

think I was an angry person before that particularly.

43:53

I think one of the things that being with like, perhaps

43:55

in situations before encountering

43:58

your own children, you were able to... to extract

44:00

yourself from a situation and deal with your

44:02

anger. Whereas as we know, kids are constant

44:05

and relentless and you can't leave them. You can't

44:07

leave the house while they're kicking off because you're

44:10

responsible for their safety. Because it's illegal, yes,

44:12

exactly. So what

44:14

do you, do you have any kind of pet theories

44:17

on

44:18

if you were angry pre-kids where

44:20

that anger originated? Is

44:23

it just part of your brain chemistry?

44:25

Is it global injustice

44:27

or is it something? I genuinely

44:29

think there is something, again, this sounds

44:32

terribly pretentious, but this is as we have established

44:34

something we want to go into. I

44:37

genuinely have always felt I've

44:39

got a big thing about injustice. And

44:41

funnily enough, again, old school friends I

44:43

was talking to, we've all seem

44:46

to have a similar kind

44:49

of thing about really

44:51

disliking, which is ironic

44:53

considering we all went to the same boarding school. So we

44:55

went to the same private education that

44:58

promulgates the idea of injustice

45:02

actually enshrines it in kind

45:04

of the education system. But I do think all

45:06

of us share a similar kind of view. And

45:09

injustice and inequality are

45:12

things that I kind of go, I'm fully

45:14

aware, I'm hugely privileged. I'm

45:16

pretty sure I wouldn't have got where I've got to without

45:18

the background I have. But at the same time,

45:20

that doesn't mean I can't see it's not fair. Everyone

45:25

should start from a level playing field and they don't. And

45:28

that is the greatest fear of those who are

45:30

given a privilege, that they mistake privilege

45:33

for talent. Now, I don't know where

45:35

I sit on that particular scale. I think

45:38

I've got some talents. If

45:41

I had been born to a single mother in a housing estate

45:43

in East London, would I be where

45:45

I am now in the same? No, of course I wouldn't. I was

45:47

born to a surgeon and his wife on the Isle of Wighten

45:49

got sent to boarding school. That's very different

45:52

upbringing. So

45:55

I,

45:57

you know, there's nothing you can do about

45:59

that. But you can either go down the Lawrence Fox route

46:01

of going, why should I apologize for my upbringing?

46:04

No one's asking you to apologize. You're just asking to acknowledge

46:06

it. And I do think injustice

46:09

does fire anger.

46:11

But

46:12

at the same time, you're huge. Is

46:16

it an injustice that you were sent to

46:18

boarding school? Well, now you're

46:20

doing therapy. And as

46:23

every therapist I've ever been to, has I? Yeah,

46:26

it's not an injustice, but my parents

46:28

sent me away at the age of 10 to

46:31

somewhere 200 miles away. And

46:33

because they thought they were doing the right thing, and because my father

46:35

had been there, and my uncle had been there, and my

46:38

grandfather had been there, and my brother

46:40

would go there after me, they

46:42

thought they were doing the right thing. To me, the idea

46:44

of sending your child away at the age of 10 is insanity,

46:49

no matter how much my children drive me up the wall. And

46:53

I think that's a huge generational shift that

46:55

we've sort of seen in my

46:58

life as a 51 year old man. Going

47:00

to private school in the 80s was very much,

47:03

this is absolutely the best way to

47:05

give my child the best of that in life. Now,

47:07

most people can't afford it because it's become so ludicrously

47:10

expensive. It's kind of an oligarchs luxury.

47:14

And people go, did it affect

47:16

you? Did it change? Of

47:18

course it fucking did. You don't send a 10 year old away

47:20

from his parents going, what was it? Without

47:23

it affecting them. But it also informed who I am

47:25

today.

47:26

So

47:27

do I regret it? I don't regret it, but

47:30

it's part of my makeup.

47:34

You mentioned you and a couple of guys

47:36

that you went to school with who all have similar

47:39

feelings about injustice.

47:41

Were you kind of, did you rebel

47:43

against the school, either sort of actively

47:46

or just passively, like quietly in your head?

47:48

Did you like have a, apart

47:50

from the kind of the extraction

47:53

from your family element of it,

47:55

did it seem like a fair place or did

47:57

it seem like tyranny? interesting.

48:00

It seemed like tyranny at first, but by the time we got

48:02

to be the sort of at the top of it, we had an absolutely

48:04

fabulous time because I had a brilliant bunch of friends

48:07

who were still my best friends to this day. And

48:10

they did let us kind of not do what

48:12

we wanted and but

48:15

towards, I mean, we were all smoking and drinking

48:18

and behaving badly, but I think we

48:20

sort of learnt to do all those

48:22

things. And

48:24

some of us didn't learn it very well and some of us

48:26

were hugely irresponsible. But it

48:29

was quite interesting. My brother who came a few

48:31

years after me, he failed his GCSEs

48:34

and went back to my folks who suddenly had a 16 year

48:36

old on their hands and they had no idea

48:38

how to deal with a teenager because

48:41

I'd gone off and done my drinking, drugging, sex,

48:44

all those things out of sight, out

48:46

of mind. So for them to suddenly they

48:48

were funny. Okay, we've got this thing in our

48:50

house and we don't know how to cope with him. He wants to go to

48:52

the pub. He's only 16. I'm going to

48:54

get the pub. I was 15. What the fuck are you talking about? So no, I

48:56

think I don't know

49:00

that we weren't terribly rebellious. I mean,

49:02

we're all in many ways, we're very much sort of

49:05

guardian reading champagne socialist. But then,

49:08

as a Naira in Bevin said, and nobody was

49:11

accused of being a champagne socialist, it was the case

49:13

of the

49:15

best for everyone, surely.

49:17

So I think there is a, yeah,

49:20

I don't see us as particularly rebellious, but

49:22

at the same time, we didn't exactly abide by the rules

49:24

either. Odd

49:27

question. Why aren't you right wing?

49:31

For exactly the reasons I've just espoused that

49:33

I believe in equality

49:36

and I'm aware of my privilege, which I

49:38

think it's that entire thing

49:40

of mistaking privilege

49:43

for talent. And that

49:46

is what I believe the real difference is.

49:48

I appreciate that

49:50

you aren't right wing and I appreciate

49:52

that those are the things you believe. I suppose

49:55

what I'm asking is one might look

49:57

at it from the outside of being a 50. 51-year-old

50:00

white guy who went to boarding school and

50:03

think that probably some of that system

50:05

is designed to make you right-wing.

50:08

Was it about

50:10

what were the things you learnt or the media you

50:12

consumed or the lessons you learnt

50:19

that contributed to the

50:21

ideological journey you've just described? That's

50:24

a very good question. It's quite funny actually.

50:26

I was out with the other night, a guy I first met in September 1982,

50:29

which I had a bedroom basically

50:34

for eight years, a very, very old friend of mine.

50:37

But I do remember we went out for a 50th

50:39

birthday and he actually disclosed that he had

50:41

voted conservative at one point and I was absolutely

50:44

fucking appalled. Whereas I

50:46

know pretty much all the rest of my mates hadn't. But

50:48

then he is the one who entered property and he is the one whose father

50:51

was chairman of the local conservative association.

50:55

And I don't know. I

50:58

think I kind of woke up at university

51:01

a bit. Back

51:04

to what I do for a living, I won the debating

51:06

competition at school two years running. I was like,

51:09

oh, I'm quite good at this speaking in public

51:11

business. I always remember to my eternal

51:14

shame, even though the point of debating is to

51:16

debate things that you don't necessarily

51:18

believe in, that I won the debating competition

51:21

in the sixth form. Opposing

51:24

the motion Thatcherism is a luxury

51:26

this country can no longer afford. And

51:29

in fact, funnily enough, funnily enough,

51:31

I still have, I've just realised this

51:34

is hilarious, in my bookshelf right

51:36

next to my head, I have the Oxford

51:39

dictionary of quotations that I won

51:41

for that. Won his first

51:44

prize in the 1989 debating competition with

51:46

a friend I was talking about. Opposing

51:48

the motion that this house believes that Thatcherism is a luxury this

51:50

country can no longer afford. Presented

51:53

by Mr. I. Wright of the Guardian. Interesting enough, don't know

51:55

what he was doing there. But yeah,

51:57

so I kind of, I didn't really think, I

51:59

think I was quite... of, and then I

52:01

went to university just after the Poltex riots, got

52:04

together with a fantastic girl who's now a brilliant

52:06

theatre designer director who

52:08

was from Bolton and

52:12

was, you know, of the left and

52:14

kind of, I think she had a lot to do with opening

52:16

my eyes to how I felt about things. I

52:19

think the thing that informs it most is that I

52:22

specifically remember, there's a few things, belief

52:24

systems I specifically remember. I remember

52:26

very vividly my late

52:29

teens at school, or mid-teens even, suddenly

52:31

looking around the chapel and going, this is madness,

52:34

of course God doesn't exist, we reinvented him to make

52:36

ourselves feel better. And

52:38

the other one I remember is promising

52:41

myself I would make a living out of my own

52:44

brain. And

52:47

I don't, I mean it's very frustrating

52:49

to like my parents, my father was a doctor, he wanted

52:51

me to be a doctor, and you know, if you get on this railroad

52:53

at the age of 18 then you will be secure through your life.

52:56

The idea of being an actor was, I

52:59

mean, funny enough, he wanted to be an actor and

53:01

was absolutely, was not going to happen

53:03

because he needed security. I had obviously

53:06

the luxury that I did have the security

53:08

and, funnily enough, last year for the first

53:11

time ever my father, I went to university to do English literature

53:13

just because I could and I was good at it. And

53:17

my father actually said to me last year for the first time ever, oh

53:20

I should let you go straight to drama school, you weren't interested in university

53:23

at all, which only took him 30 odd

53:25

years to say. But I had the luxury

53:27

of being able to follow a life that was not railroaded

53:30

and, you know, it's the whole problem that you hear

53:40

all the time now that those going into the arts are

53:42

those who have a safety net. And I luckily

53:45

haven't had to use a safety net particularly, but

53:47

I've always been aware it's there which makes quite a difference, I've

53:50

always felt. And that is the big thing I feel

53:52

about, back to your question, why are you not right

53:54

wing? I'm aware I've got a safety net, I

53:56

think a lot of people who are right wing are like, no safety

53:59

net's not right. I do it and I didn't need a safety

54:01

net. I was I did pull myself

54:03

up by my bootstraps No, you fucking didn't Donald

54:05

Trump. You've got given 500 million by your dad.

54:07

You know me That's really interesting

54:10

and I really enjoyed the phrasing of that. I decided

54:12

I sort of promised myself I would make

54:14

a living out of my own mind Why

54:17

why did you promise yourself that what

54:20

is it about? Like what is that? Can you just talk

54:22

to me a bit more about what that means? do you

54:24

mean as opposed to by learning to do something

54:26

with your hands or Or is there

54:29

more to it than that that seems like a really Quite

54:31

possibly an enormous amount of laziness involved

54:33

despite what it might sound like but just kind of going,

54:35

you know It's fun something. I'm quite good at and then I don't have to work

54:38

too hard at it But I think that's that's

54:40

possibly being unfair on myself. I think

54:45

It's difficult I I Tell

54:49

you what it probably is and again back to the ADHD

54:51

brain. I don't want anyone else to be my boss I

54:53

don't want anyone telling me what to do and

54:55

I think that's something that we we all

54:58

have in common in comedy that we don't

55:00

like being told what to do and That

55:03

even there's a number of reasons

55:06

we do comedy my wife has

55:08

a very interesting theory about it, which I'll share with you in

55:10

a minute, but

55:13

The

55:13

Not wanting to be told what

55:15

to do there is it's an it's a minor act

55:18

of rebellion almost every time you get up on stage And

55:20

there is something very pure About

55:24

I mean, this is why People who aren't

55:26

stand-ups think it's the most terrifying thing they've

55:28

ever heard of whereas people who are stand-ups

55:31

are like perfectly natural the

55:33

idea of standing up in front of a crowd with

55:35

nothing but a microphone and having

55:38

to hold that not just hold that

55:40

room but genuinely entertain them

55:42

for an hour is I mean How'd

55:46

you start? What? Which

55:48

is obviously what you're confronted with when you first

55:50

stand up on stage But to

55:52

us it's not it's not something that holds fair

55:54

and I think

55:55

a combination

55:58

of

58:00

And there are, I

58:02

mean, I was talking about this in the dressing room the other

58:04

day, because it's so funny, if you

58:06

sit around with open spots and they're going, God, I can't believe I can't

58:08

get 10 minutes at whatever

58:11

little club with that. And then you sort of go up to

58:13

a bit further up and you're going, God, I can't

58:15

get into such and such a club. And then, God, they won't

58:17

let me headline. And basically at every

58:20

single level of it, and you can be sitting there,

58:22

not that I generally have that often, but very,

58:25

you know, famous friends of mine sitting in a dressing room

58:27

with, you know, you can be with three of the biggest names in British

58:29

comedy. I was doing, as Andy Robinson, I was talking

58:31

to him, bless him, because Andy supported a lot of people

58:34

and done a lot of warm up with very famous people. He

58:37

goes, I've sat there with a name

58:39

like three of the most famous standups of the last 20 years.

58:42

And it's exactly the same conversation. It's

58:44

just, it's, you know, why aren't

58:47

I playing this massive

58:49

thing as opposed to why am I not getting my

58:52

five minutes at pear shaped or whatever

58:54

the present incarnation of the open mic circuit

58:56

is?

58:58

Is it possible, do you think, to

59:01

be a fulfilled comedian? Or

59:04

will that always be there? What do you depict in there? And

59:06

I totally appreciate that. I've

59:09

thought that many times myself. Is it

59:13

possible?

59:14

I don't know. I

59:16

mean, it's almost like you're kind of second guessing

59:18

the idea of going, if I became a fulfilled comedian,

59:21

would that be like I've completed comedy? I'm no longer

59:24

funny. I

59:26

think, I mean, it is the

59:28

I have a bit in the new show about comedy

59:32

being basically I moan

59:34

about the state of the nation and my children

59:36

for about 50 minutes, 55 minutes. And

59:39

then at the end, I go, I can't. And I finished with a very kind

59:42

of strong bit about mental health and

59:44

the next generation. And

59:46

then I go, I can't leave you on a negative. One

59:48

thing we do have in this country, you got to remember is we

59:50

do have the best comedy in the world. And

59:52

we do. I mean, I've done this all over the 50 countries.

59:55

We have the best comedy clubs on

59:58

the planet, the most healthy or is it? unhealthy

1:00:00

comedy circuit and the reason

1:00:02

for the joke is I go you know what it is because

1:00:05

everything's shit and that is what

1:00:07

comedy is comedy is moaning and it really

1:00:09

is and so there is of course if you've

1:00:11

got a fulfilled and then I do a thing about

1:00:14

and it's terribly bad form

1:00:16

to do a routine on your podcast so I won't

1:00:18

do it but it was it's about going to the

1:00:21

GP and getting an appointment and then taking the train

1:00:23

down there because it's on time and that's

1:00:25

and it works really beautifully and

1:00:29

so I don't know if I'm

1:00:31

sure it's possible to be a fulfilled comedian but I know it's

1:00:33

terribly useful what would

1:00:35

fulfill me more I think I mean I

1:00:38

was I say I listen to your podcast

1:00:40

with Ian and Ian doing his you

1:00:42

know wonderful new career as a writer

1:00:45

and I am jealous of

1:00:48

comedians who I mean I've written sitcoms that

1:00:51

have been optioned there is a bit of me that

1:00:55

feels I could do some other things that

1:00:58

I would find useful I wrote some I worked

1:01:01

on a lawyers so it series

1:01:03

of lectures recently I you know

1:01:07

when I write stuff I get a

1:01:09

I write a food blog mainly to keep me writing

1:01:12

and when I get one of those done I

1:01:14

feel a sense of satisfaction and

1:01:16

I think we do possibly

1:01:18

tune all things a bit too much into another

1:01:21

night at the Comedy Store then I can get to headliners and after that

1:01:23

I'm doing the you know I'm doing

1:01:25

the back and and I think we get a little

1:01:27

railroaded into

1:01:31

the circuit because it's called a circuit because it goes around

1:01:34

and I think the thing that in

1:01:36

terms of frustration when you see what

1:01:38

what does I think annoys a lot of us not

1:01:41

noise possibly the wrong word but you see people

1:01:43

get given opportunities that you think

1:01:45

that would be fun and it doesn't necessarily mean

1:01:47

taskmaster or something like that but it's hilarious

1:01:50

the amount of times comedians you see appearing

1:01:53

on TV and the last thing anyone wants them to do is comedy

1:01:55

you know can you cook on this show

1:01:57

can you do the SAS can you do that and stuff

1:02:00

that some of those opportunities I'd love to

1:02:02

have a go at

1:02:03

but

1:02:04

I'm quite fulfilled as an unfulfilled comedian

1:02:12

you said earlier on

1:02:14

that you sometimes come across

1:02:16

as smug arrogant or aloof because

1:02:19

your words are replacing back to you yes do you

1:02:21

know yes I remember saying yeah

1:02:24

do you

1:02:25

like why that's an unusual thing to

1:02:28

say I think I haven't really heard you know people

1:02:30

say or you know people say or I'm aware I come across

1:02:33

as smug it's funny the way you said it just that

1:02:35

because I'm aware I come across as smug

1:02:37

I mean just your very use of the word I'm aware I come

1:02:39

across as which is what I said so I'm fully

1:02:42

aware I have I have quite a

1:02:44

posh voice I

1:02:47

am a relatively

1:02:50

tall white man I am pretty

1:02:52

well very well educated I have quite

1:02:54

a large vocabulary my status

1:02:57

on stage I play high status so

1:03:00

and you again

1:03:02

I mean that's funny how you keep going back to this I was

1:03:05

working with Esther Minito

1:03:07

the other day and she said

1:03:09

the first time I ever worked we I had no recollection

1:03:11

of this this is one of the problems we have when

1:03:13

you've been doing it this long you find out and I'm

1:03:16

really big on desperately trying to

1:03:18

make sure I'm nice to people because they well you'll

1:03:20

meet them again and they'll be you know Esther's brilliant

1:03:24

and but she said I was doing a gig apparently

1:03:26

in bath bath festival and it was one

1:03:28

of those it was like a

1:03:31

microphone set up in a corner with a curtain

1:03:33

and noise bleed and just you walk in and go for

1:03:35

fuck's sake this is just not right

1:03:37

for comedy and apparently I was at

1:03:40

the back of the room going this is fucking ridiculous and

1:03:43

I was the most terrifying man

1:03:45

she met in her life and I was like God really

1:03:48

and again

1:03:50

you don't realize the effects you're having because

1:03:52

she was the open spot going I've got on the bath festival

1:03:54

I'm gonna do this five minutes here and I'm on with Simon Evans and

1:03:56

Alice to Barry well and I was and then Alice

1:03:59

to Barry's walking around back stage going for fuck's

1:04:01

sake and you don't realise

1:04:03

that again how people perceive you.

1:04:06

I have it's pretty hard not

1:04:08

to be aware over the years of being

1:04:11

viewed publicly to not have an inkling

1:04:13

of how you are viewed and I think a

1:04:15

comedian with no self-awareness is normally

1:04:18

it's the one who comes off stage having

1:04:20

absolutely stunk out of the room going I

1:04:22

think you'll find that one pretty well. It's that you

1:04:24

immediately go they're going on

1:04:28

stage. So I am aware you know

1:04:31

I have I am high status on stage

1:04:34

I have

1:04:36

a certain arrogance that

1:04:41

I think I'm right about things I don't

1:04:43

necessarily take being told I'm wrong terribly

1:04:45

well and also I'm prepared to

1:04:48

kind of back myself up if I am challenged

1:04:51

and that can come across as smug. And

1:04:55

also you know why doesn't everyone else see it like this? It's

1:04:57

a pretty smug point of view and as we've

1:04:59

established that's one of the sort of cornerstones

1:05:02

of my comedy.

1:05:04

When you've talked just in the last hour or

1:05:06

so when you've talked about some

1:05:09

people come on this podcast and go oh well

1:05:12

I did this um oh god

1:05:14

it's sort of quite a big gig and you know I was really

1:05:16

pleased to be there you know they sort of they

1:05:18

will dress their achievements

1:05:20

with a sort of humility

1:05:22

that you don't seem encumbered

1:05:25

by sometimes. Oh

1:05:27

that is twisting the knife in the most

1:05:29

beautiful way. I think that's but again

1:05:31

that's probably fair but I also think I

1:05:33

mean I was doing

1:05:36

a big theatre Tom Tuck said to me Tom

1:05:38

Tuck said something about how is it very good in a

1:05:40

big theatre because there is a bit of me that gets and

1:05:43

you know as well as I do you've done big theatres there

1:05:45

is something about being in a big theatre that is

1:05:47

specifically designed for the entire

1:05:50

audience to be looking at you and it's much bigger than

1:05:52

somewhere you play like the Lyceum I

1:05:54

played the Lyceum 1600 seats and you're just going

1:05:56

oh this is fucking brilliant

1:05:59

and literally You know a hand

1:06:01

gesture that would be ignored

1:06:03

in a club gets you the sort

1:06:05

of laugh you have to pause for Everything

1:06:08

takes longer. I always remember Sarah

1:06:11

Kendall saying to me after she got nominated

1:06:13

for the Perrier They went they

1:06:15

used to do the season in London and she said to

1:06:17

me after she we have the hardest job in the world Because

1:06:20

when you go and do it in a theater, it's just joyful

1:06:23

You don't have to convince anyone on a Saturday night at their

1:06:25

works do And so

1:06:27

I do think there

1:06:29

is an element of When

1:06:31

I get the opportunities, I

1:06:34

normally have the

1:06:36

capability to take

1:06:38

them and There is certainly

1:06:40

a slight level of frustration that

1:06:42

perhaps I haven't been given opportunities I could but

1:06:45

then show me a comedian Who doesn't have that? I?

1:06:49

Still then there's certain things. I'm delighted

1:06:51

and privileged to have got the chance to do But

1:06:54

if I look back at things I've done that have been amazing

1:06:57

like doing the Cape Town festival

1:06:59

for a month Going

1:07:02

to Going to Afghanistan

1:07:06

You know, I kind of did them I sort of feel I did

1:07:08

them because I don't

1:07:10

so

1:07:11

there's easy arrogance or

1:07:13

is it a sort of Self-confidence

1:07:17

or is it just a sort of contentment with your ability? I

1:07:19

don't know but I'm fully aware as you've

1:07:21

just put it that if you do come across

1:07:23

as unencumbered by that That

1:07:26

can appear arrogant Well,

1:07:29

I wondered if I wondered if that quality

1:07:31

that you've described is to do with

1:07:34

given that you were sort of not allowed

1:07:36

to go to drama school and given that you were sort of

1:07:38

sent to boarding school that kind of slightly

1:07:42

tumultuous Element of

1:07:44

your of your upbringing of your formative

1:07:46

years I wonder if partly

1:07:48

it's because like do you think there

1:07:50

is an element of which your success?

1:07:54

proves that you Like

1:07:56

proves to your parents or proves

1:07:58

to your teachers or proves to

1:08:00

the kids you went to school with who weren't your friends.

1:08:03

Because I'm not, you know what I mean, I went to a private school

1:08:06

and I hated it, I had a horrible, horrible time and

1:08:09

a lot of that, I've said this many times on the podcast before,

1:08:11

a lot of what, a lot of the decisions I've made

1:08:14

over the course of my life, my life as a performer,

1:08:16

have been an attempt to prove something to

1:08:18

some boys who are kind of 11 or 12,

1:08:21

who no longer have been there, they're grown up,

1:08:23

they don't remember me and don't care. Do you know what I mean? Like,

1:08:25

I'm sort of trying to prove myself to

1:08:27

myself to them. I wonder, is

1:08:29

that an element of your sort of suckers? I'm

1:08:32

not in any way trying to

1:08:34

dispute the account you've

1:08:36

just given of your reasonings, but and

1:08:39

you know, I mean, I had a horrible time in my

1:08:41

second year of school, there were some really horrific bullies in

1:08:43

the year above and I, you know, look

1:08:46

back on it now and go and that did have a huge effect,

1:08:48

you know, when you're whipped with a Walkman strap until

1:08:50

you bleed or whatever, that's kind of horrible. But

1:08:53

actually, my experience at school at the end was positive, but

1:08:56

what I think has

1:08:58

informed it and Hal Crudenden, who's one of my

1:09:01

best mates, has always says to

1:09:03

me, you know, you've got this sort of resilience because

1:09:05

you went to boarding school and I think there is a definite

1:09:07

element that it took me a long time

1:09:09

to convince my parents that as far as I'm concerned,

1:09:12

I left home at the age of 10. Don't be

1:09:14

ridiculous, we sent you to school and you didn't leave home to university

1:09:17

when you were 18. No, no, I left home at

1:09:19

the age of 10 in my head. And

1:09:22

as a result, to the people, to the comics who

1:09:24

know me best in the world, Hal Crudenden and Mick Ferry

1:09:27

have both separately said

1:09:29

to me independently, you've got

1:09:31

a sort of innate self confidence or

1:09:34

resilience. And I'm

1:09:36

sure that that must be something to do with basically

1:09:38

being kind of pushed out there on your own at 10.

1:09:41

Whether I'm showing people

1:09:45

is a different matter and I'm not sure

1:09:47

that I would say I am.

1:09:48

I am, I mean,

1:09:50

there is an element of where I started

1:09:52

doing. I mean, I have one, I remember one year when I did an

1:09:54

advert like 20 years ago and I did

1:09:56

a very, very well paid advert

1:09:59

and I made the mistake of telling my mother how much I'd earned

1:10:01

that year. And she went, oh my God, that's almost

1:10:03

as much as your father earns. And

1:10:05

it was kind of like, how dare you? And

1:10:08

to be fair, I was literally getting paid that for standing

1:10:10

in a photography studio for five days, not

1:10:13

actually learning how to be a consultant

1:10:16

obstetrician and gynecologist. But

1:10:19

in our world, there is a ridiculous thing that you can go

1:10:22

and do the best work you've ever done

1:10:24

as a favor to a mate who's doing a benefit and

1:10:26

you do 20 minutes. You

1:10:28

can go and do 10 minutes at a corporate

1:10:30

with

1:10:31

a number of noughts on the end. It

1:10:33

is a silly job.

1:10:34

We know it is a silly job. And

1:10:37

so you have to work out in your own head how

1:10:39

you market. And by that same token,

1:10:42

you have to work out how you value yourself. It's

1:10:45

been great talking to you. And you too, mate.

1:10:48

Tell us where you are in the tour. Oh, it's only

1:10:50

just started. Just on the first date. They

1:10:52

really start at the end of October. I'm

1:10:56

going to Tallinn on the 19th, then Newcastle, 28, Southend, 29th. If

1:11:01

you go on my website, there's about 22 dates,

1:11:04

I think. Still

1:11:06

waiting to confirm a couple more, but go to alistairbarry.com.

1:11:09

And if you follow me on the socials, there

1:11:12

will apparently be some content with really

1:11:14

exciting opening three seconds and then just dipping

1:11:16

in under the 30 second mark coming quite soon when

1:11:19

I have changed my entire ability to do

1:11:21

comedy. Yes. That's

1:11:23

how it's a pleasure. Right.

1:11:28

Thank you so much. So that was Alistair.

1:11:34

Half an hour more

1:11:36

from him. The comedians comedian dot com slash

1:11:39

insiders are on your feed if you're already

1:11:41

attached to it. Do people attach themselves

1:11:43

to the Insiders Club? I suppose

1:11:45

in many ways they do entangle some of them.

1:11:48

So again, I could just hear how they like it.

1:11:50

This is just awful. Apologies to you. Apologies to

1:11:53

Alistair for this being for me being

1:11:55

in this state during his episode. I think when we recorded

1:11:58

it, it was over a week ago and I was absolutely fine.

1:11:59

fingers crossed.

1:12:02

So thank you to Alistair for coming

1:12:04

on to the show, thanks to you for listening. The

1:12:06

music was by Rob Smouton, the title was by Ashwach 11

1:12:09

and Nathan Wood was your editor. So

1:12:12

thanks, I've already said thanks, thanks again.

1:12:15

I'm Will Postamble at you. I've written down, I've got

1:12:17

two things here. In advance I thought I'll

1:12:19

think of some things as a postamble and then it won't

1:12:21

be a load of cack.

1:12:31

Right, you still there? Yes, there

1:12:33

we go. I've promised Big this won't

1:12:36

be a load of cack. Imagine that. Haha,

1:12:38

I'm excited indeed. To be honest, I've

1:12:41

got a couple of things to mention but I will, I just

1:12:43

can't bear the sound of my own voice. I'm

1:12:45

on pseudocet, I'm blowing my nose 10 times a minute,

1:12:48

but I sort of, could

1:12:50

it be, could it be that

1:12:52

recording this in a damp

1:12:55

cellar on a clay

1:12:57

hill in Bristol? It's not great for me.

1:12:59

Could it be that? Who knows? I

1:13:02

haven't, no, I tell you what, I'll stick

1:13:04

to the things. These are the things. I

1:13:07

had a really fun time for Leslie Gold

1:13:09

of this parish. Can I say

1:13:12

that? That's so curvy isn't it? But

1:13:14

you know, Leslie Gold is a

1:13:16

comic, a listener and was

1:13:18

a sort of infinite sofa instigator

1:13:20

who has gone on to run a lovely little gig

1:13:23

called So Fam, So Funny. So,

1:13:25

sofa, so funny, that's it. Sorry Leslie.

1:13:28

But it's a lovely, what did I describe

1:13:30

it as? I said something about it, she quoted it, which

1:13:32

is very welcome to. It's something

1:13:35

like aggressively inclusive, terrifyingly

1:13:37

inclusive or something like that. It's a really fun little

1:13:39

gig. But she also, it turns

1:13:42

out, runs this lovely kind of charity

1:13:44

gala show or was booking a charity gala

1:13:46

show for the Passage Homelessness Charity on,

1:13:50

at the comedy store with Dara O'Briand

1:13:52

and instantly, instantly, right,

1:13:55

tangent number one. You will know

1:13:57

if you listen to this show that there are so many people who are interested

1:13:59

in this show. certain patterns of behaviour

1:14:02

I exhibit when post-ampling and even when

1:14:04

interviewing people. And because I have

1:14:06

recently started doing some ADHD

1:14:09

coaching, e.g. I'm the one being coached, I

1:14:11

mentioned that to a friend, tangent number two, I mentioned that

1:14:13

to a friend recently, and he was like, Jesus, that was

1:14:15

quick. No, no, I haven't started coaching anyone,

1:14:17

barely know the first thing about it. But I

1:14:19

am having some ADHD coaching and I'm finding

1:14:22

it very useful. And

1:14:24

like genuinely, like it's quite good. And I don't

1:14:27

know why I said that, I think because the sort

1:14:29

of the induction process into it was a bit rocky

1:14:31

and I was thinking, am I going to bother with this? And then I had a proper

1:14:34

session. I went, bloody hell, I'm glad I stuck with it. And

1:14:37

so,

1:14:38

yes, I'm trying to, at the

1:14:41

very least, recognise certain patterns

1:14:43

of my own behaviour. And one of them is

1:14:45

that I know that my memory is so

1:14:48

bad and my desire to be liked

1:14:50

is so great, and it's

1:14:52

not great, but you know, so much that

1:14:55

as soon as I ever have to mention

1:14:57

who was on a bill, which no one's asked

1:15:00

me to, I just, I'm going to tell you about this gig.

1:15:02

Oh, it had Dara, Catherine Beaurent

1:15:04

was there. And suddenly you can probably

1:15:07

hear the sort of the internal terror

1:15:09

as I suddenly go, Oh Christ, who am

1:15:11

I going to forget? I can't, don't have easy access

1:15:13

to a list of everyone that was on. And I'd be so

1:15:15

mortified if I thought someone has forgotten them. Lorna

1:15:18

Train was there, she was great. And she saw

1:15:20

me spit my drink.

1:15:23

But I think that's the only time I've ever done a genuine

1:15:25

spit take and I spat water all over the back

1:15:27

of a lady sat in front of me. I was, you

1:15:30

know, the comedy story, the act sort of occasionally

1:15:32

hang out in front of the sound booth, I was there.

1:15:34

And who was on? Was it Catherine? I think there

1:15:37

was such a funny turn of phrase and I just went

1:15:39

and it wasn't even a spray, like an atomisation

1:15:42

effect. It was like a glob of water.

1:15:45

Oh God. Lorna

1:15:47

was great. Dinesh Nathan I've known for a long time.

1:15:49

I hadn't seen for years. He

1:15:51

was fantastic. Absolutely spanked it. So

1:15:54

listen, getting back

1:15:56

to tangent one,

1:15:58

can we just accept?

1:15:59

for the sake of my mental health just accept

1:16:02

can I disclaim all future sentences that

1:16:04

come out of my mouth with I

1:16:06

won't necessarily say the name of everyone there

1:16:08

but they were all great that's the bonito she

1:16:10

was great too um

1:16:12

and uh

1:16:14

you could I've gone but now I've done almost

1:16:16

everyone Esther Catherine Dara

1:16:19

Dinesh like everyone killed it soon soon

1:16:21

she was brilliant it was soon

1:16:23

it was soon as I was watching and it was a hair

1:16:25

flick it wasn't even a joke she did a

1:16:28

sort of performative hair flick as part

1:16:30

of sort of fleshing out an impression and

1:16:32

um it literally made me spit my drink that I'm so

1:16:34

glad I remembered her and listen if you're

1:16:36

the sort of seventh person that was on that bill

1:16:39

and I've not said you no Daniel Fox he was

1:16:41

great as first I've seen him live um

1:16:43

if you're the eighth person that was on that bill I've forgotten you

1:16:46

I'm so sorry but I cannot live like

1:16:48

this I can't every time I mention

1:16:50

a gig I simultaneously you can hear me

1:16:52

going oh oh I'd better mention everyone

1:16:54

that would be polite and then as soon as

1:16:56

I see someone like Dot I've got to mention everyone now and

1:16:59

I can never fucking remember so ADHD

1:17:01

coaching not one of the two things on the list but we

1:17:03

could talk about that that'll be ongoing

1:17:05

I think for the next six months so um I

1:17:08

will fill you in more on that at the time but it's

1:17:10

all it's all to do with reducing the cognitive load

1:17:13

I have learned so far in the sense

1:17:15

that I sort of half understand that um

1:17:18

but uh the point was this

1:17:20

is one thing great gig lovely

1:17:22

lovely show lovely not

1:17:24

kicked at the store for ages and ages and so

1:17:27

nice that you walk on and go like what

1:17:29

am I where am I at I'm at not

1:17:32

regularly bashing the circuit in the way that I've done

1:17:34

for years and years and years working on other stuff

1:17:36

very excited and fulfilled but it does

1:17:39

mean you get backstage at a gig and you're like was

1:17:41

it a dream was

1:17:42

it was

1:17:42

it a dream time

1:17:45

dream 18 years of being a stand-up comic because

1:17:48

I'm blown if I know what I say or how

1:17:50

I do it this is extraordinary what the fuck

1:17:52

am I putting myself through and then pleasingly

1:17:55

in that circumstance at least walked on

1:17:57

just friendly elf had an

1:18:00

explosively fun gig, really really fun.

1:18:02

And then I was wearing that sort of flowery

1:18:04

t-shirt that's on one of the flowery

1:18:07

jumper that is on one of the spoilers

1:18:10

promo shots and They

1:18:13

started trying to make me bloody auction it. It

1:18:15

was a charity thing. It was my second favorite jumper but

1:18:18

I really like it. It represents me trying to dress

1:18:21

as interestingly and cool as my family do

1:18:23

because both of the Herbert's and my

1:18:25

wife I did just such snappy.

1:18:28

It's not snappy dresses You know me but like colorful

1:18:30

exciting exotic and I I'm just there

1:18:32

in the man uniform looking like it's wet so

1:18:34

I'm trying to be my best as way this big pink

1:18:37

flowery jumper and They

1:18:39

tried to make the auction it and I very definitely

1:18:41

having been in situations before where people

1:18:44

The audience the crowd has a joke idea

1:18:47

and decides to charge it and bully you I

1:18:49

said, all right I'm auction it I'll start the bidding

1:18:51

at 500 quid half that shut them

1:18:53

up and obviously I then

1:18:55

had the opportunity to climb down from that

1:18:57

in order to make money from the charity, but

1:18:59

I did not I walked off stage I

1:19:02

said I managed not to say anything too

1:19:04

aggressive. I don't think but in a comically snooty

1:19:07

way. I walked off stage

1:19:09

and And no one often find

1:19:11

I saw something wrong that I did well That shows how much

1:19:14

how much you think you care about charity and I swan

1:19:16

off and I loved it Oh, it's so fun. But

1:19:19

pleasingly. I'm not just showing off about the fact that I don't

1:19:21

like Auctioning my clothes

1:19:24

for completely worthwhile charity the

1:19:26

guy One of the guys

1:19:28

who had sort of voted and have been sort of chippy

1:19:30

and a friendly heckly kind of way Contacted in the

1:19:32

next day via Instagram messenger offering

1:19:35

me more than a hundred pounds. I

1:19:37

talked him up We

1:19:39

negotiated and I have since auctioned the

1:19:41

jumper and I will do I will

1:19:43

make Callum do on my behalf an Instagram

1:19:46

real With a bit of a clip from the show and

1:19:48

this is me committing to it. This is me committing him to

1:19:50

it now and and With

1:19:53

some video from the show and our

1:19:56

Instagram message conversation and then maybe

1:19:58

I can be the next chicken wire Who

1:20:00

knows? But it

1:20:02

was fun, it was good. And here's

1:20:05

the last thing, because that was their one of rage's. No,

1:20:08

I'll save this. There we go. I'll save it for next

1:20:10

time. That's good, isn't it? Who's out next time? I

1:20:12

think it's Sekiza. Oh, brilliant, brilliant Sekiza.

1:20:15

That'll do for now. Join the insider's club, you bastard.

1:20:18

And I'll... Hurry up like me. There

1:20:21

we go. So flittering and flickering is my

1:20:24

identity. That simply by telling a story

1:20:26

in which I was briefly high status, I just

1:20:29

said join the insider's club, you bastard, for the first

1:20:31

time. God, wouldn't it be nice to have a consistent

1:20:33

self?

1:20:35

Yes, I know.

1:20:43

It's easy to lose sleep

1:20:46

when you're worried about your health insurance

1:20:48

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