0:01

You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow.

0:05

People come up to me all the time and say, Treble,

0:08

how did you learn to crush it so

0:10

hard? I always give them

0:12

the same answer, Mr Ronnie

0:15

Chang In Hashtag

0:17

Crushing, a Success Podcast for Winners,

0:20

Ronnie will give you the motivation,

0:23

the life hacks, and the f D A

0:25

pending dietary supplements that you

0:27

need to live epically testing,

0:42

testing diabetes in the mindset, and a hope

0:44

test one too. What's up, chang

0:46

Gang your boymn Chang here who with another episode

0:49

of Hashtag Crushing, a Success Podcast

0:51

for Winners. A lot of people ask me,

0:53

Hey, Ronnie, how can that crush it as

0:55

hard as you're crushing it. The

0:58

answer is you can't. I'm

1:00

crushing it harder than scientists thought possible.

1:02

I've written thirteen books, delivered twenty

1:04

eight TED talks, and I follow fifty

1:07

eight thousand people on Twitter. I

1:09

post over four hundred instroirational quotes that

1:11

down Instagram, and I own over four thousand

1:13

t shirts from Ed Hardy. I'm a NonStop

1:15

dynamo of epic winning. Okay, I'm like Eaton

1:17

Musk without the weird anime fetish. Fuck

1:20

you Elon. But

1:23

hey, if you listen to this peak cast and follow

1:25

my advice, maybe you two can write

1:27

this cross train to crush Town and the train

1:29

conductor. It's Jeremy Piven. All

1:33

right, I'm ready to pound. Let's

1:35

start the show. Success

1:42

money Instagram

1:46

faking whoa,

1:51

I'm still buzzing you guys. I just delivered

1:53

the keynote of Power Thoughts Summit, presented

1:55

by Forbes and Lin Cuisine. In fact, if

1:57

you're interested, you can stream my speech

2:00

right now. It's title why every Entrepreneurs

2:02

to try huffing spray paint? Check that out on

2:04

YouTube or catch me in my next live event.

2:06

Pumping up the crowd at a winter assembly

2:08

for Pembroke Middle School, Mrs Goldstein's

2:10

class is gonna be seeing Christmas carols and I'm gonna

2:12

be shooting red bulls out of a T shirt cannon.

2:21

Hell yeah, you know what that means. It's

2:23

time for the cleans report. Right

2:26

now, I'm doing a Solids and Liquids

2:28

cleans. I'm not eating or drinking any

2:30

solids or liquids for two weeks. I

2:33

mean, for breakfast, I had some vape smoke

2:35

and for lunch, I think I'm gonna suck

2:37

the helium of a balloon animal. I

2:39

gotta tell you, thanks to this cleans hey,

2:42

my energy is up, my blood pressure

2:44

is down, and my motor skills are

2:46

shot. If any of that

2:48

sounds appealing to you, why don't you check out my website

2:51

Ronnie Chang dot protein Powder. I've

2:53

got exclusive recipes and an

2:55

interview with Ashton Kutcher. Right,

3:02

I'm backed. Let's take some calls

3:04

if you've got a question about anything, entrepreneurship,

3:07

muscle, mass manscaping bill

3:12

right now. If a line is busy, dal

3:15

Hotter, it's

3:18

crushed. All right. We got a call

3:20

on the line with James from Danbury,

3:22

Connecticut. Hello James, longtime

3:25

fan. Of course you are. I'm in Alpha's Alpha.

3:28

I'm in Alfalfa um. So

3:30

I'm about to be a college freshman and

3:33

I want to become a doctor. I'm

3:35

thinking neurosurgeon. Maybe. Do you have

3:37

any advice for how I can make

3:39

that happen? James, I do have

3:41

some advice, and that advice is don't

3:44

go to college, bro. Student

3:47

debt is for suckers. You

3:49

can learn everything you would in medical school by

3:51

purchasing a corpse on the doc web you

3:53

buy the corps, you cut it open, you poke

3:55

around inside, and hey, you'll be ready

3:57

to operate on Live Humans after four to

3:59

five of corpses. No debt required.

4:02

That said, you should pledge a frad Next

4:04

call up, Hey, Ronnie, this

4:06

is Mike from Staten Island. What's up, Mike from

4:09

Staten Island? How can I improve your life today?

4:11

I want to be an Instagram influencer. Right

4:13

now, I have two followers, mostly high school

4:16

friends. How can I gain more? Okay,

4:18

I get this a lot. The answer is simple.

4:21

Instagram loves sex appeal and it loves

4:23

travel. So I always tell people,

4:25

quit your job and become a pirate. Go somewhere

4:28

sexy, like Somalia. Your Instagram

4:30

will explode. Trust me, bro? Oh

4:33

okay, um, is

4:35

there a way I can gain Instagram followers without

4:37

becoming a pirate? No, Bro, you are

4:40

you kidding me? I just give you advice that's wolf like

4:42

a billion dollars. You

4:44

off the phone and go on the next flight to Mogo. D Shoot,

4:46

Okay, I've had enough of you. Next callar, Hello,

4:50

n one. My husband.

4:52

He's gripping at his chest. I think he's having a heart

4:54

attack. Oh hell yeah, Okay, some

4:56

contact of our listeners. I recently got a life

4:58

from post Malone. You pay a guy the phone company

5:01

to read that. Right now, on one calls to your personal

5:03

line, instant growth has

5:08

Wow, it sounds like he's really suffering

5:10

from a bad I

5:14

don't know how I get connected to you. He's

5:16

sending an ambulance. I don't think he's gonna make

5:19

You're definitely not with that negativity.

5:21

Don't hate job creat Okay, next

5:24

collar, Mr Chang, This

5:26

is agent Jim Peterson again with the Internal

5:28

Revenue Service. Okay,

5:30

that was a wrong number. You know, I've

5:32

got a lot of haters at the i r S because of

5:34

how successful I've been. Like, seriously,

5:36

I'm the mother toters of giving vibes and the

5:38

Wesley Snipes of paying taxes. All right, Next

5:41

scholars, Ryan from Nashville, what's

5:43

up, Buddy hey Man? Just finished

5:45

reading your book. Nice? Thank you so

5:47

much. For those who don't know, my new book, The

5:49

Success Virus How to Infect Yourself with

5:52

Winning is in stores now. Is two

5:54

under and twenty pages of pure knowledge.

5:57

Yeah about that. The first twenty

5:59

page we're just bows, are you at plant Fitness? And then

6:01

the lasts were just a knockoff

6:03

of the Babysitters Club. Hey, don't knock

6:05

the teenage Childcare Society. I mean

6:08

talks with Disney Plus to make into a minister.

6:10

Was no advice in the book at all. I want my money

6:12

back, yeah, and I want my former assistance

6:14

to stop telling people I have a lifetime band

6:16

from Jiffy Lube. But we don't always get

6:18

what we want. We get what we crush.

6:22

That's crushing head brick right now. And when

6:24

we're back, why have my special guests Daily show

6:26

correspondent Royal And

6:29

I'm gonna ask him if these ever snorted dog tranquilizers.

6:39

Today's episode is sponsored by Doctor Manhood's

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These crystals will change your life.

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I recently mowed down a witch with my tesla,

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selling them to you for literally any

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right, we'll back, and we're joining out by a legendary

8:01

guest. He's a correspond on The Daily Show

8:03

with Trevor Noah and it looks like he could bench.

8:06

I don't know thirty royand

8:09

Jr. Is here. I actually I

8:11

think I can bench preuss like one last

8:13

I try. Okay, well that's pretty weak.

8:16

What does that smell? It's dear carcus.

8:18

Roy, you are crushing it. Man, you're crushing

8:21

the two running. Yeah, I know, it's

8:23

it's actually a problem. How hot I'm

8:25

crushing it. I'm starting to affect the people

8:28

around me and the people I love. Uh,

8:31

Roy, let me let me ask you something. Uh you're

8:34

like a stand up comedian, right, A lot

8:36

of nights on the road lonely. How

8:38

do you stay emotionally connected to your loved

8:40

ones while maintaining focus on your career.

8:43

I think the important thing when you're traveling is to take

8:45

something from home on the road. I'm just kidding.

8:47

No one cares about. Actually, there's my first real

8:49

question. Have you ever done d MT? Uh?

8:53

No, you have an inject horseplate list. I

8:55

don't even know what that. You have a free base of stuff inside

8:58

glow sticks. I'm

9:02

not into that, Ronnie. I just can we

9:04

just talk about some of the stuff I'm working on. I got

9:06

a web series. But before

9:08

that, let me just ask you. You

9:11

ever take L S D and have a threesome inside an aquari

9:13

of i'mould

9:16

just answer a question about travel, Okay,

9:19

alright, alright,

9:21

answer the travel question. Go ahead, But

9:24

you might have a crank of some chin up. So are you talk? Fine?

9:27

Do whatever you need to do. Man, Look, when I'm on the

9:29

road, I do my best to make sure that

9:32

my family has spend number one priority. I

9:34

face time with my I

9:39

try to make sure that my son knows

9:41

that I love him, So I FaceTime with Pain's

9:45

just weakness exiting the bottom. So

9:48

for me, it comes down to one question when

9:50

I'm looking at what gigs would take, will

9:52

this opportunity negatively affect my family

9:54

life? Because I have to consider how many days I'm going

9:56

to miss my family? For sure? Great

9:59

great id. Thus, by the way, I'm not

10:01

sure if you noticed me over there, just pulling up, just

10:04

just ripping metal. So

10:06

I gotta ask, you're doing no P November?

10:09

What did hell is no P November?

10:12

Well, you know you're in it for an entire month of November.

10:14

I'm doing it. It's sick running

10:17

November was last year, dude. November

10:19

is a state of mind. Is that like no

10:21

November where you don't masturbate to It's

10:23

like that because it involves the penis, but instead

10:26

of nodding, it's urine, so

10:29

you haven't p for an entire That's right.

10:31

The only p im into is P nine X.

10:34

It's a powerful world because it's got numbers and letters

10:36

in it. Speaking of power, do you ever eat

10:38

a bald eagle. They're an

10:40

endangered species. Why would I

10:42

eat an patriotism bro I

10:44

eat bald eagle and I feel America

10:47

coursing through my veins. Okay,

10:50

so I was watching your Last stand Out Special. Very

10:52

funny stuff, by the way, I appreciate that. Thanks. I

10:54

especially love the part where you talk about the nutritional

10:56

benefits of elp meat and

11:01

are you suld that was me you were watching. I didn't talk about

11:03

elk am I special. I didn't talk

11:05

about elk meat. Oh okay, Well, maybe

11:07

I'm confused because I watched it on ten X speed

11:09

finished a whole hour in six minutes. Anyway,

11:12

you ever do an elk binge. That's where you

11:14

killing elk and you have seventy two hours to eat the entire

11:16

thing, including the bones. That's how

11:18

Caveman lived. Caveman also had an average

11:20

lifespan of seventeen years. They didn't have Tesla as a

11:23

podcast. They didn't even speak English. That's a

11:25

really good point. Elk meat is really lean

11:27

and dense and nutrients. It feels

11:29

it feels like I'm saying things and then you're just hearing

11:32

words completely different from the

11:34

words I'm saying like totally,

11:36

that was so nineties, you know, all right?

11:39

Can can I ask you a question? Shoot? Why

11:42

are you like this? Why are

11:44

you obsessed with caveman fitness

11:47

routines, masculine diet,

11:49

fats and drugs inside

11:51

of glow sticks and eating eagle

11:53

jerky? What happened to you? What made

11:55

you this way? Wow? No one's

11:58

ever asked me that before. Actually,

12:00

you know what, I don't know if I can talk about this. No, no,

12:02

no, no, you can, you can, man, you

12:04

can just okay? Well,

12:07

um, Ever since I was a teenager,

12:10

I knew I was different. I

12:12

was rebellious, and I

12:15

fell in with the wrong crowd. I

12:17

got into fast cause, extreme sports,

12:20

trusty women. Okay, but that's

12:23

that's pretty on power for the young

12:25

guy. That's then one day my life changed.

12:28

The government needed my extreme

12:30

sports expertise to infiltrate the Russian

12:32

terrorist cell in Central Europe. Okay,

12:34

hold up, please let me get through this. The terrorist

12:37

group known as Anarchy ninety nine had acquired a

12:39

biochemical weapon and there was only one

12:41

way to this on the missile, using my extreme

12:43

sports capabilities and racing cars through

12:46

the streets of product. Wait, so Anarchy

12:49

you should. That was the name of the terrorists group. Yeah,

12:52

okay, that's just the plot the Triple X. That was Finn

12:55

Diesel. Who did all that? You didn't do that ship? They

12:57

based that movie on me? No

13:00

man, I'm full of urine. No p November.

13:02

Remember I'm gonna go well

13:04

the doors a lot from the outside, so that's not

13:06

happening. Okay, that's another episode

13:08

of hashtag Crushing, a success

13:10

podcast for winners. Can'tlys plug

13:12

my website. I hope you learned some new ways to

13:15

hack your way through the jungle we call life.

13:18

Thanks to my guests, Ray Woods

13:20

Jr. Dis move. Thanks

13:23

everyone. I gotta gota do cross fit with the founder

13:25

of we Work. We're best friends until next

13:27

time. Keep crushing that ship.

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