0:00

Hello the Internet, and welcome to

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season one ninety one, Episode four of j Daily

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Zai Guics, the production of I Heart

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Radio. This is a podcast where we take

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a deep into America's

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here consciousness. It is Thursday, July

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first, twenty twenty one.

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Welcome to July everybody. My

0:20

name is Jack O'Brien AKA. My

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pod host has a first name, it's

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j A. C. K Oh.

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My pod host has a second

0:30

name, it's b R I E n

0:32

Oh. I love to listen every

0:35

day and if you ask me why,

0:37

I'll say

0:39

because Jack O'Brien has a

0:41

way with his t dz ak

0:44

is. That is courtesy of Christy

0:47

Yamagucci man I am sitting

0:49

Chris crossed Apple sauce with

0:51

a little broke as fishing rod

0:54

in my hands in honor of the original commercial

0:57

and I'm thrilled to be joined as always buy

0:59

my cot mister Miles

1:02

grass I cry

1:04

for Mexican pizza.

1:09

Talko bel took

1:11

it from the menu all

1:14

on my worst days, I

1:17

don't have my snacks.

1:19

Will it return now? I

1:22

don't know, but shout out to Christie I'm

1:24

a Gucci Mane for doing the exacta

1:27

two food based Akas and look, I

1:29

missed the ship out of the Mexican pizza and

1:32

it's hard to help. Long has it been gone? I

1:34

don't want to talk about it. Yeah, I don't want to think

1:36

about it. I don't want to talk about it. It's enough. It's

1:38

hard enough when I have to over explain trying

1:40

to make a Mexic melt to the person at the drive

1:43

through and do an ingredient by ingredient.

1:45

I mean, it's fine, it is what it is. But you

1:47

know, I feel like we can come back and feel

1:49

good about it. Well, Miles.

1:52

We are thrilled to be joined

1:54

in our third seat by a very talented

1:57

actor, comic and podcasts.

2:00

His debut comedy album, Light Skinned Feelings,

2:02

was rightly named one of the ten best

2:05

comedy albums of the Year by Vulture.

2:07

You've seen him steal scenes and shows

2:10

like Insecure, The Boys, Bless This

2:12

Mess, and Keenan and his podcast

2:14

My Mama Told Me on iHeart and Will

2:17

Ferrell's Big Money Players Network is one of the best

2:19

things we've done as a network. We

2:21

are honored and thrilled to be joined

2:24

by the great and hilarious Langston Kerman.

2:29

What an intro goddamn

2:31

many God,

2:35

that was beautiful. I was gonna make a joke about

2:37

needing to sing an intro for myself,

2:39

but then I my heart was a flutter,

2:41

and I can't think about that is

2:44

all this is. I mean, yeah,

2:47

thrilled, the thrill. This is my first

2:49

time having you on the show, even know you've been on I

2:51

think twice already. Right, that's right, you've

2:53

died me. Every been dodging you,

2:55

you know, prepping there's benna. It's been

2:57

like a long workout montage of

2:59

me. It's like, we'll call you a

3:02

draft dodger. But it also seems

3:05

yeah, I think so. Yeah, for

3:07

sure, I wasn't up to the challenge. You

3:09

know, I didn't have the courage. It's like, I don't

3:11

know about barbershop discussions, and

3:14

I'm gonna learn about them so I don't make a fool

3:16

of myself. Myles was skeptical every

3:18

time that you were coming on, and I would

3:20

call him with bone spurs and my feet, why

3:23

does he have to do with podcast? Flat feet

3:25

and bones and bones spurs? Man,

3:28

My bone spurs are really making it difficult

3:30

for me to sit with headphones. But

3:32

you would come back with a really nice edge

3:34

up and fade, and I was like, what who were

3:36

you at? I

3:38

don't know. My doctor prescribed a nice haircut

3:41

for What's

3:44

What's new? Man? Oh I'm I'm

3:46

hanging you know. I just wrapped

3:49

head writing Pause with Sam j. It's

3:51

a very fun show that people should watch.

3:54

And yeah, now I'm just back in the bullshit

3:58

in the bullshit. It's a It's

4:00

a show on HBO starring comedian

4:02

Sam Jay. She's very funny. She throws

4:05

a house party every week and and talks

4:07

a lot of shit. It's a late night

4:09

show. Oh day, Yeah, it's

4:11

cool. What's it called? Goddamn

4:13

shame that no one's ever heard of? It's called

4:16

pause because that's

4:18

how marketing works with black shows. Yep,

4:21

damn there it is? How long? Yeah, I mean I'll

4:23

say it, but like when

4:26

when did it come out? We aired

4:28

uh, May twenty

4:30

first, so we just had our final episode.

4:33

There's only six episodes, but it just wrapped

4:36

up last week. So

4:38

we had a beautiful run. What a gorgeous

4:41

run that you guys missed. But if

4:43

you haven't seen it, you could stream that motherfucker

4:45

on HBO Max and that that'll solve

4:47

all my problems. Yeah, yeah, right, now,

4:50

yeah, I mean you are I I like left writing

4:53

out of the list of credits,

4:56

but you're also like ahead

4:58

writer. You have multiple careers

5:00

that people would have, Jack, I've tricked a

5:02

lot of people into letting me do stuff,

5:06

and I hope to expose their

5:08

ignorance, and somehow

5:11

still continue to trick more people. What's

5:13

the biggest jig you got where your thought you weren't

5:15

you were not as confident and you're like, oh,

5:17

okay, yep, I did that. I literally

5:20

was not qualified to be a head writer

5:22

before I was named head writer of

5:24

anything, and for

5:26

some reason, these motherfuckers fell for it

5:28

and it seems to be working out.

5:31

But who knows? Do you think? Part of it though, too, is

5:33

like you know, like we think there's a specific

5:37

you know, skill set that you need or

5:39

whatever you have to do, when really like I feel like

5:41

a good head right like you just you have

5:44

your the have the ability to identify good ideas

5:46

and nurture the good ones and filter out the bad

5:48

ones more than like how many rooms have you been on

5:50

your way? Yeah? Look when Liam

5:53

Neeson when he got on that phone and

5:55

he said, I have a specific set of skills,

5:58

you don't. He doesn't know for sure

6:00

that he's gonna be able to murder all of those

6:02

guys, right, there's a part

6:04

of him that's like, maybe I'll get my ass

6:06

kicked by a few of these people. But he has

6:09

to speak with the level of confidence that

6:11

suggests he can murder everyone. And

6:13

I think that's my approach to comedy

6:16

and performing in general, is like, no,

6:18

I'm gonna murder and then probably

6:20

some of y'all are gonna beat the shit out of me. Confidence

6:24

is its confidence, man, is what we'd

6:26

call you. We gotta sell it all

6:29

right, Lankson, We're going to get to know you a little

6:31

bit better in a moment. For sure. We're gonna tell our listeners

6:33

a few of the things we're talking about.

6:36

We're talking about another crisis

6:38

at the border being manufactured by

6:41

the Republicans. We'll talk about

6:43

why Trump might be in trouble after all.

6:45

We'll talk about that lady that caused the Tour de

6:47

France crash. They finally caught

6:50

her, but man, what a what

6:52

a legend. And most importantly

6:54

of all, we'll talk about that Clifford the big red Dog

6:56

trailer drop helly all, that

6:59

play more. But first, Langston, what

7:01

is something from your search

7:03

history? Oh? This was fun for the

7:05

podcast recently, I had to look up

7:08

the history of black men wearing dresses

7:10

on television, just historically,

7:14

how frequently that happens, and

7:16

where it all comes from. And so

7:18

that was a fun unpacking

7:21

of whether or not this is rooted in some sort

7:23

of terrible racism or just niggas

7:26

being silly in their costume? Do you know what I mean?

7:29

Which is it? Yeah, homophobia?

7:31

There's a lot of fun to find

7:33

underneath what may just be a bit

7:36

was there did you find anything sort of conclusive

7:39

or what was there even any sort of academic

7:41

thought put into this idea? I

7:44

think the hard part of it is that

7:46

academia has very little

7:48

to do with funny, and so

7:51

there is a shit ton of academic thought

7:53

and none of it's funny, and all of it

7:55

seems to step on like at the end

7:57

of the day, none of those articles were as good as

7:59

Big Mama's House too. Do you know what what it's

8:02

like? What the fuck are we are

8:04

we debating here? I don't know. Maybe

8:06

they shouldn't be forced to wear dresses? Is

8:08

this in theory some sort of like

8:11

attempt to emasculate black

8:13

men. It's possible,

8:16

but god damn is Martin Lawrence killing

8:18

in that wig? Yeah? I mean who could

8:20

remember? Who can? Who would forget Eddie Murphy's

8:23

portrayal in the Clumps? I mean just everybody.

8:26

Yeah, multiple dresses,

8:29

multiple women, It's you know,

8:31

it's a tough call.

8:34

What's the kid cuddie dress

8:36

thing? I just like randomly saw that cross

8:39

the headlines. He wore a dress on

8:41

SNL and that was controversial

8:43

for some reason. I think he wore

8:45

the dress both it was

8:47

a weird cross pollination of things

8:50

and that he wore a dress that was patterned

8:53

after Kurt Cobain's dress

8:56

that he wore in the nineties

8:58

on SNL. And then he

9:01

also was like sort of making

9:03

it a more feminine dress.

9:06

I guess was part of I guess where the controversy

9:08

kicked in of like him

9:10

mimicking Kurt Cobain but also making

9:13

it sort of like a sexier spaghetti

9:15

strap type joint when Kurt Cobain's

9:18

was a little more of a schoolgirl

9:20

type dress. I guess, yeah, right

9:25

by the zombie school girl I felt

9:27

like was the vibe that, Yeah, kud

9:30

looks just good. That's like a good

9:32

a good dress. As the

9:34

resident fashion expert here,

9:41

yeah, what

9:45

is something like sing you think is overrated?

9:48

Overrated? Oh? Boy, something

9:50

that that's super

9:52

overrated. I had to put

9:54

up a fucking canopy thing. My

9:57

wife and I are are having a child soon

9:59

and a baby shower this

10:01

weekend, and I was asked

10:04

to help put up a

10:06

canopy like structure for our backyards

10:09

for this baby shower. And whatever company

10:11

is responsible for that canopy is

10:14

overrated. They should be ashamed of

10:16

themselves. It took us hours, It was

10:18

very difficult, and I'll never forgive

10:20

them for the amount of shame it brought to

10:22

my household as me and my wife,

10:25

my pregnant wife, argued in our yard

10:27

in front of our gardener who is helping

10:29

with said construction. Also,

10:32

unwittingly, a third party had to have a

10:34

front row seat to that screen face. Not just the

10:37

third party, the landscaper.

10:39

He was there, and then his grandson

10:42

who he brought along with him

10:44

in support of that activity.

10:47

He brought him along. And

10:49

then my wife kept being snarky about

10:51

the fact that I wasn't screwing something in

10:53

right, and then we argued in front of him, and

10:56

I could tell the grandson didn't love

10:58

what he was being forced to win, right

11:00

right? Right? Was it one of those like shade sales,

11:04

like one of those like little kind of you

11:06

just have to attach it and keep it rigid

11:08

and attach it to another point or where you really? Is

11:10

it something like a full on structure that you're No, This

11:12

was full on like a building.

11:14

This was Bob the builder level like

11:17

construction. And that's

11:20

not what I do. Do you know what I mean? I'm a silliably

11:23

don't make me do physical labor.

11:26

I'm the exact same way I'm

11:27

Unfortunately I'm I'm I'm I'm learning

11:30

skills over time on how to do things around the

11:32

house. But I remember when one of the times

11:34

I moved and my partner we were just

11:36

she was like, Yo, we have to put these fucking

11:39

curtains in. I almost fucking

11:42

like like did the thing where I vanished

11:44

for years. I got so straight trying to drill

11:46

something into like just to get curtain rods up, and

11:48

I was like, I gotta go like to the desert

11:51

and like just get my shit right, because I think I'm

11:53

about to give up on everything. Yeah,

11:56

very wander off into the

11:58

desert muttering to yourself like

12:01

a fucking curtains. And that's

12:03

the problem. We don't talk enough

12:05

about how many deadbeat dads are probably

12:07

running away from responsibilities.

12:10

Not just the unreasonable

12:14

ass is the thing that may is gonna

12:17

make me go out for cigarettes. It's not the people

12:20

I like. The people you guys are just asking

12:22

for too much. It's just I don't want to struggle

12:24

in front of y'all, in front of my family, because

12:26

you know, gender norms dictate that I'm

12:28

supposed to be good at this. So when I don't arrive

12:30

at that, I have to have a reckoning with that.

12:33

And because I'm not built to do that, I will just

12:35

implode and run away. If my

12:37

shake in front of my unborn child,

12:40

I will abandon her. I cannot,

12:43

under any circumstances let her see

12:45

me quiver. So I'm gonna go. Oh

12:48

man. So I'm thirteen

12:50

years married and like

12:52

I am at a point now

12:54

where if I even suggest

12:57

that I'm going to do the thing

12:59

that we could, like you know, hire someone

13:02

on task Rabbit or something to do, my

13:04

wife is like absolutely not,

13:07

Like I have no yeah, because

13:09

I'm but I've I earned that by

13:11

like putting like just

13:14

like doing irreparable day, Like I want to try

13:16

to hang a door on like at

13:18

our old house, and like it

13:20

I had to like sand half of it, like

13:23

sand at the bottom down, and it was like crooked

13:25

at the bottom, like the thing. It

13:27

was just a complete mess. And also

13:29

like I almost you know, lost my

13:31

mind, Like I almost

13:33

just drove off into the wilderness.

13:36

Yeah, if the if the CIA had to do like a

13:38

siop on me, it would be to install a

13:40

bunch of like home hardware things in a

13:42

house and yeah, like measuring and

13:44

drilling and stuff. Because by the end of it, I will

13:46

be so broken that you could be like, okay,

13:49

so now you're gonna be supporting Trump

13:51

and this next like I'm okay.

13:54

So it sounds like I just need to let myself

13:57

slip into the darkness and then

13:59

on the other side will be a bunch of people who

14:02

now know not to go any

14:04

further. I mean, you might be

14:06

more handy than me, you know, like I have

14:09

friends who like upon like

14:11

starting this journey of dadhood

14:14

or like you know, being in a relationship

14:17

and finding themselves responsible

14:19

for various like tests just like got

14:21

good at them. I was just completely

14:24

hopeless, to the point that I just suggested

14:27

that I replaced, like we got a new garbage

14:29

disposaler. Last one jammed up, and

14:32

I was like, oh, I can probably do that,

14:34

Like I researched online.

14:36

It seems easy. I'm like the look of like

14:38

panic on my wife's face when I said

14:40

that, it's

14:43

like someone's already on the way. Jack, I'm

14:46

sorry, go, maybe that's

14:48

what I have to do, because I don't think I'm more handy

14:50

than you are. I'm pretty incapable

14:53

of doing most traditionally

14:57

masculine things, and

14:59

so I I think maybe I just need to volunteer

15:01

more often. And then I

15:04

caused some destruction. I just had to

15:06

start communicating. I said, look, I'm

15:09

gonna struggle with this, and I'm not interested

15:11

in like struggling to the point

15:13

where like I'm gonna lose my cool about it,

15:15

like, and it's worth it, I think, for the

15:18

sake of our relationship to

15:20

pay somebody to do this work. So

15:23

no, I've tried. I've I've

15:25

tried the communication, and it doesn't seem

15:28

to be having any effect. Shit,

15:31

well, good luck to you. I'm bad

15:33

at it all, including like collecting

15:36

tools, like creating a tool set. I have

15:38

like four hammers, and

15:40

then never like the screwdriver

15:42

that I need, Like I just like, I'm like,

15:45

I can't find the hammer. Better go to the hardware

15:47

store and buy it, and then like come home immediately

15:50

find the hammer that I couldn't find before, but

15:52

realize that I don't have like the screw I'm

15:54

just I'm hopeless. Man Jack has like a

15:57

collection of like ball peen hammers.

16:03

Yep, that's basically it got one of

16:05

those giant like two

16:08

sided saws that people used to use

16:10

like chopped down trees. But

16:13

but no Philip's head screwdriver. I

16:15

can never find lengths and what is

16:17

something you take is underrated? Oh

16:20

this is exciting. So my mother in law

16:22

moved in with us, and she's the one that

16:24

bought that goddamn canopy thing,

16:26

so you know, everybody's

16:28

responsible for my frustrations. But one

16:30

of the things that she has added in a beautiful

16:33

way to this home is reasons.

16:36

Candy, you guys, No reasons.

16:39

Yes, they're sort of like

16:41

if you put a tutsie roll inside

16:44

of inside of actual

16:47

chocolate, like better chocolate, and

16:49

those motherfuckers are good and I don't like tutsie

16:51

rolls. I'm sort of like indifferent

16:53

about tutsie rolls, But god damn are

16:55

reasons hitting the spot and she keeps a

16:57

jar full of them in the in the kid and

17:00

every day. So I'm Papa's love him. What's

17:02

happening here? Wow? R

17:04

I E S E N. Yeah,

17:07

okay, okay, yeah. I'm not big

17:09

on tutsie rolls, but I do believe I've had like

17:11

some of those, and the adding

17:14

chocolate to the tutsie roll like

17:17

it makes it helps you get

17:19

through because I'm the same rolls just

17:21

feel like fucking imitation

17:24

chocolate. It just doesn't. It's like, I see

17:26

what you're trying to do, tutsie roll, but it's you're not

17:28

doing it. And I get there is a certain group

17:30

of depraved people who will appreciate that.

17:33

But I think the chocolate coating on

17:35

the reason helps sort

17:37

of cover the rest of the candy

17:40

you're eating, so you do have at least you get that hit

17:42

of chok real chocolate as you

17:44

power through the rest. It's a touch of class.

17:47

It's just a little bit of class that

17:49

you've added to this otherwise filthy

17:53

little candy. Served

17:55

me. I like it. I like what's happening.

17:57

Yeah, that's cool that you your

18:00

mother in laws living with you. Guys, that's gonna become

18:03

so helpful once you once

18:05

you have this baby from

18:07

the same people who brought us worthers.

18:10

Oh it is. Yeah, it's the same German. Okay,

18:14

that makes sense, not a joke. I feel

18:16

like the bags are very uh

18:18

the like writing seems similar. Like

18:20

the energy of it all. Yeah right,

18:23

because it's like, this isn't for children. Yeah,

18:25

this is marketed towards This is marketed

18:28

towards the the mature.

18:31

It's not they're they're not having like cartoons,

18:34

cartoon awls and shit on the It's

18:37

all it's all about a nice, strong,

18:39

sturdy font and like some browns

18:42

and yellows and yeah.

18:44

It feels like if they saw owl

18:46

like licking a reason they shoot it mounted

18:51

above their Yeah,

18:53

oh that's the reason. Logo is

18:56

the owl from commercial

18:58

just stuff and nod just tacks

19:01

of dar meat and sitting on a mantle.

19:03

I love it. I feel

19:05

I The one tutsie roll that I don't

19:07

mind is the fruit flavored

19:09

tutsie roll because and I think that's my issue

19:12

with tutsie rolls is that they are

19:14

fruit candies that are child like. I'm

19:17

gonna I love Starburst, I love a fruity

19:19

chewy candies like chocolate

19:22

Chewy. Yeah high choose exactly,

19:25

but a chocolate Chewi doesn't work for me. But then

19:27

every once in a while you'll get the like lemon

19:29

tutsie roll or the cherry

19:32

I think there is those are pretty has

19:34

never had them? Wow, I

19:37

think there's just I think I just got to like,

19:39

I don't know, as a kid, I really was

19:41

like rigid about the candy I ate because

19:43

like I wasn't just all about the sugar. I was

19:46

like I have really specific think tastes

19:48

and the tutsie rolls Like I remember as

19:51

a kid, I don't know if you had like a bucket of

19:53

your Halloween candy that just sort

19:55

of yeah, sort of ebbed and

19:57

flowed over the years because you'd

19:59

get through that first week post Halloween and then

20:01

you're sort of left with all the waist candy

20:03

that you you weren't as into, and then the next

20:06

year comes around you like add to it. And

20:08

that was always just weird tutsie

20:10

roll stuff and like weird chewy

20:12

shit. Yeah, I love

20:15

fruities. I think you're you're spot

20:18

on with that, and I do also I

20:20

had that bucket, but it wasn't It

20:22

wasn't so much tutsie rolls as it

20:24

was tutsie pops that that ended

20:26

up being the leftovers first, Like

20:28

dumb dumbs. I did fuck with dumb

20:31

dumb. Yeah, certain flavors, you

20:33

know, you a peanut colata, gotta

20:37

sour apple, that's the best. But

20:39

then you get some weird ones like fucking great,

20:41

and it's like, come on, dumb dumb. You know this is some

20:43

what you do. Well, come on, come on,

20:45

dumb dumb. The degree to

20:47

which big banking and dentistry

20:50

like propped up the dumb dumb industry

20:53

for so long was like that

20:55

there's just something about the fact

20:57

that you would get that when you were a kid that like

21:01

really gave them a little What happened? I

21:03

feel like that worth investigating,

21:05

Like were they lobbying like

21:07

the banking associations to be like

21:10

this is what you need to have in all your banks,

21:12

this will be in all of your administrative

21:14

buildings. Like that's a that's a fucking

21:16

contract. Yeah. I feel like the

21:19

Koch brothers knew about like hilk

21:21

belly and dumb dumps, you know what I mean? Like

21:23

there there's some sinister shit happening

21:26

with the dumb dumb community.

21:28

Exactly. We need to look into the Spangler

21:30

Candy Company. I'm saying

21:32

it here that sounds evil.

21:35

Koch Brothers had a part of my childhood.

21:37

They made Dixie cups. Koch Brothers

21:40

made Dixie cups yep, oh yeah, and

21:42

like brawny paper there and all kinds of paper

21:44

goods. Surprised how

21:46

much money you might be given the Koke

21:48

Bros. I guess that makes sense. I

21:50

never knew how in one of them's

21:52

dead, so we got one more to go. But I

21:56

never knew how much the Coke.

21:58

I never knew how they got their money. But that

22:00

makes sense. They weren't just born

22:02

wealthy. They probably sold some shit. Oh

22:05

no, they were born to Uh

22:08

they're always born, well I said, just born

22:12

addition to

22:14

the oil wealth that they

22:17

had from their fathers selling oil

22:19

to the Nazis. Oh

22:22

yeah, yeah, so they're evil legacy,

22:25

evil through and through to an almost impressive

22:27

degree. Well, it's like Michael Jordan always

22:29

says, Nazi need need oil

22:32

too, Yeah, oil

22:34

too, pans

22:38

or tanks. You need gasoline too. All

22:43

right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back.

22:55

And we're back, and

22:58

let's talk about the ass crisis

23:01

at the border currently being manufactured

23:03

by Republicans. Yeah, that's their

23:05

favorite thing to do. If you feel like you need

23:08

to get the base, your nativist,

23:10

xenophobic, racist base going, there's

23:13

no better thing to do than create a spectacle

23:15

at the border. And you know, right

23:17

now Biden is, you know, grappling

23:20

with his own immigration policy, like

23:22

one where like, on paper it looks more humane,

23:24

but when you really dig in, you're like, how do you actually

23:26

get asylum though? Because this looks hard even

23:28

though when you the rules seem

23:31

more humane, it seems like that getting

23:33

access to that seems very difficult.

23:35

So how does this work? Sir? But

23:37

all that aside there right now,

23:40

the Republicans are really they're

23:42

going to their trustee border thing since to catch

23:44

all boogeyman to just start being

23:46

saying, like you know again, when

23:49

the Republicans are in power, they use crises

23:51

at the border to justify their inhumane

23:54

treatment of people who are seeking asylum

23:56

or just a better life. When Democrats are empowered,

23:58

it's suddenly they're the border to be like

24:01

Joe Biden is sixty nineteen with

24:03

the feedinal dealers of MS thirteen

24:05

and that's why our kids are overdosing. And

24:08

this is where they're at right now. On the Trending episode,

24:10

we talked about how the governor of South Dakota,

24:13

Christi Noome, sent fifteen National

24:15

Guardsmen to the border to

24:18

help quote unquote the Texas government

24:20

because the narrative is like federal government is

24:22

nowhere to be seen, what do we do? And

24:24

we just found out that this whole stunt

24:27

from Christy Noome was being funded

24:29

by a huge GOP downer. We

24:31

saw that when everyone said how is this working,

24:33

Like how are you moving these troops? It said through a private

24:36

donation. That private donation comes

24:38

from a wealthy like a millionaire

24:41

junkyard owner from Tennessee.

24:44

And that's that's what we have now.

24:46

And now, meanwhile, Ron De Santis

24:48

is also wanting to show how dumb

24:50

he can be and ignore the facts of an issue.

24:53

And now he's sending his own people because

24:55

he can't get out trumped by Christy Noome. He's

24:58

sending fifty officers from Wildlife

25:00

Conservation Highway Patrol and

25:03

the Department of Law Enforcement. Hell

25:06

yeah, I love people.

25:08

Yeah, go send the fish people to shoot

25:10

Mexicans. This is all going to work out

25:12

perfectly for everybody. I

25:14

love that it's a billionaire junkyard

25:17

owner, Like they're just they're business.

25:20

They're in the business of mad Max, like

25:23

Thunderdome, Like they're just like, get us

25:25

there, right, That's that's where we thrust,

25:28

just apocalyptic wasteland. I

25:30

don't I don't understand.

25:32

You said North Dakota, South Dakota, Dakota,

25:35

South Dakota. So in my

25:37

mind, and maybe I'm an ignorant person,

25:39

I'm absolutely an ignorant person.

25:41

But one of the things that that at least seems

25:45

logical to me is if

25:47

I'm the governor of South Dakota,

25:50

I would want more states to get

25:52

fucked up so that people could come

25:54

to South Dakota. Like it's not like Americans

25:57

I want to go so like make

26:00

everything else get even. And then

26:02

suddenly South Dakota looks like a better

26:05

option. Why are you competing to keep

26:07

Texas safe, you idiot? Oh,

26:10

just let it tank and then be like, hey, you don't let it.

26:13

We have you know, if you want to talk about mistreatment

26:15

of indigenous people. Check out South Dakota.

26:18

Come all through. You're gonna love it here. We've

26:20

got your own brown thing going on up here,

26:23

and you're you gotta try it this

26:25

thing. So that the wacky thing about

26:27

this ship too is they're saying, you know, they're sending

26:29

all these people law enforcement, National guardsmen,

26:31

and more than anything. On every time

26:34

there's a press release about this, they all say, for operational

26:36

security, we will not say the exact number

26:38

of people, the units involved, where

26:40

they're gonna be, or what their mission is. So

26:43

a lot of people are like, yeah, wait, hold on, what

26:45

the fuck are they gonna do exactly

26:47

down there, like, because you know, there's

26:49

a lot of border to cover, and of

26:51

sending one hundred people, are they each

26:54

covering one hundred eighty miles

26:56

a person that they're gonna just be looking at on

26:58

their own? So when they were asked specifically,

27:01

when they asked the Governor's Office of Florida

27:03

like what they were going to be doing, a spokesman said,

27:06

quote, we aren't enforcing immigration

27:08

laws end quote.

27:10

Huh. So then they say, quote

27:12

officers will be investigating criminal activity

27:15

associated with human smuggling drugs

27:18

and weapons smuggling. This is why

27:20

we aren't able to provide specific details

27:22

on numbers and locations

27:24

so they can make sure. Like I think one of the

27:26

people said, bad guys. So the bad

27:29

guys don't know what we're

27:31

like where we're like gonna be operating.

27:33

It's I think when you start looking at their reason, you're

27:36

like, it's it's all nothing. It's all fucking vaporware.

27:38

It's all just a spectacle. The further you

27:40

get from like they've found in

27:43

studies that like the politics

27:46

around the border, like in border towns

27:48

are much less hardline

27:51

than they are like when you get further

27:53

inland, and like that keeps going

27:55

all the fucking way up to South Dakota,

27:58

like where it's just like they don't

28:00

they don't know any immigrant immigrants,

28:02

so like that it doesn't fucking bother

28:04

them to just treat them like quote

28:07

bad guys from from movies, you

28:09

know. Yeah, And I think if you add in

28:11

the language of criminals

28:13

and bad guys and

28:16

and all these suggestions of drug

28:18

and rape, then you start to

28:21

make associations that satisfy

28:23

the need either way, Like I don't want drugs

28:26

in my community. I don't want rapists near

28:28

my family, so like, yeah, go get

28:30

them if that's that's what you need to do, right,

28:33

right, And that's what they're

28:35

doing to get everybody. It's it's

28:37

and more governors or like Republican governors.

28:39

You're seeing them start to posture too, because

28:41

it's starting to look like some kind of like litmus

28:44

test for if you can run for president

28:46

in twenty twenty four or basically how

28:49

still tied to Trump's sort

28:51

of agenda or perception of immigration

28:53

you are. And yeah, so everyone's

28:55

saying like, well, we have to support every governor

28:57

should be supporting our country, blah

29:00

blah blah. But again, daddy's always

29:02

watching. You got to make daddy

29:04

happy. Yeah, And for a

29:06

dad who look at his own kids, this daddy

29:08

will never give you the satisfaction of

29:11

telling you, good job. We're tussling your two pay it's

29:13

not gonna happen. M All

29:16

right, Well, let's let's talk about Trump

29:18

real quick. Earlier in the week, his

29:21

defense attorneys were basically saying they're

29:23

not gonna charge the

29:25

former president, so you guys can move

29:27

along. Nothing to see here. Seems

29:29

like there is a massive yet at

29:32

the end of that statement because

29:34

they are going to charge his CFO,

29:38

Alan Weisselberg. Who I mean Alan,

29:40

They say, Alan Weisselberg is like the eyes

29:42

and ears of the Trump organization. So

29:45

and because he's CFO, that means he

29:47

knows a lot about the weird tax stuff,

29:49

you know, specifically, this a

29:51

lot of it dealing with like compensation and

29:54

how taxes were paid, because it seems like people

29:56

just got like apartments or cars

29:58

and things like that as part of their compensation

30:00

packages as a way to avoid

30:03

paying taxes. And this

30:05

is sort of one of the lines of

30:07

inquiry that prosecutors are going

30:09

down. But I think, yeah, the whole thing

30:11

was always saying, well, what's going to happen?

30:13

Because he was never cooperating, and

30:15

everyone was saying, well, charge

30:18

him, then see what happens. Because usually people

30:20

start singing a different tune when their freedom

30:22

is on the line. And I think that's why a lot of

30:24

people are saying, maybe now we're

30:26

looking at something real for Donald Trump, because

30:28

there's someone directly in the Trump org

30:30

who is now on the hook. It's also fun

30:33

that Weiselberg looks exactly like the accountant

30:35

from The Untouchables who allows Elliot

30:38

to take down capone, like he looks like

30:40

he's in costume as that

30:42

dude. Sure, listen,

30:46

you gravitate towards the things that feel

30:49

familiar. And I imagine through

30:51

years of media, being a

30:54

scumbaggy

30:56

ahead of an organization is probably

30:58

the thing that he was like, that looks like me. I'm

31:00

gonna do that.

31:03

That's like, yeah, that's like. There's a soccer player

31:05

who said one time someone told him

31:07

he looks like Andy Garcia, and he

31:09

said, from that day, all of his

31:11

style has been to look like Andy Garcia.

31:14

And it feels like just like one of those things where yeah

31:16

weissel Burke. He's like, I'm gonna maybe

31:18

this is what I'm gonna do. Yeah, this feels like a

31:20

good vibe for me to ride

31:22

in. Yeah, he's sitting

31:25

right in that pocket. He's like, look,

31:27

I'm the Andy Garcia of

31:30

of shitty guys. Yeah.

31:34

I will if somebody tells me they're

31:36

like a shirt, especially if

31:39

like somebody a woman tells

31:41

me they like my shirt, I'll wear that shirt probably

31:44

like five times that week. I

31:48

will say. In college, and I've told

31:51

this story before, my facial hirt grows and

31:53

patchie is shit and I had it overgrown

31:55

once and I remember hearing

31:58

the like one one him and said,

32:00

oh no, I think it's like it makes me interested,

32:02

like oh, what's going on with him? And I

32:04

never gave a fuck again until my

32:07

partner, now her Majesty, was like, no, that

32:09

looks like shit, like you should. I

32:12

was like, fuck, really that

32:14

sucks. She took

32:17

something beautiful from you. You were like, yeah,

32:19

yeah, this is my power in this. But I still

32:21

lean into it. In my mind, that person's

32:24

voice is still They're being like, don't listen to her. Baby,

32:26

this trippy. It makes me interesting,

32:29

like maybe he's an out of work pirate.

32:32

Maybe this person I'm planning to lay with

32:34

for the rest of my life is wrong. Maybe

32:36

huh that one lady I met that one

32:39

time is correct. Yeah,

32:41

forget all the growth I've experienced with my current

32:43

partner. It's one thing. She's not gonna meet

32:46

me on my facial hirt. Oh all

32:48

right, let's talk about another investigation. Nancy

32:50

Pelosi is planning to go forward with a

32:53

January sixth commission on

32:56

you know, the attacks on the Capitol

32:58

Building from January sixth, without

33:00

the GOP. Who knows how She's going

33:02

to do it? Because they've been so cooperative up to this

33:04

point. But that's that's where we're

33:06

headed. This is a you

33:09

know, we might actually find

33:11

out something. Yeah, I mean,

33:13

I think most people on Earth laughed

33:15

at the idea of Republicans participating

33:19

in an investigation about

33:21

January sixth, because it feels like it

33:23

would amount to just snitching on themselves. But

33:25

now Nancy's like, you know, she's she's like, fuck

33:27

it, we gotta do this. The

33:30

fucking approval ratings for Congress are like

33:32

a subterranean at this point because everyone's

33:34

like, y'all don't do anything and

33:36

you're too scared to do shit. Fuck

33:38

out of here. So on Monday,

33:41

and unveiled a resolution thirteen

33:43

members Select Committee that she

33:46

will be choosing the members, eight Democrats

33:48

and five Republicans, that she will consult

33:51

with Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy

33:53

on who those five Republicans will be. It's

33:56

only consult though she can fucking

33:58

say like nod to anything, like she

34:00

has final say in the end. So, despite what you

34:03

heard from majorly tainted goon

34:05

or I'm sorry Marjorie Taylor Green saying

34:08

that she wants to be part of

34:09

the committee, that's that's

34:11

not gonna happen because Pelosi's going to determine who wants

34:13

to and again, we don't even know if any Republicans

34:16

are going to want to cooperate. I guess the thing

34:18

I'm struggling with, and this is a genuine

34:21

question, I'll be an appointed one.

34:24

What's the point, do you know what

34:26

I mean? Like, what is the end goal

34:28

of all of this? Like where does this investigation

34:31

lead us? Because at the end of the day, we do,

34:33

in fact know that this was like

34:35

an orchestrated thing, and I know,

34:38

like that's you know, obviously they need

34:40

definitive proof to say that this was

34:42

an orchestrated thing, but we we fucking

34:44

know it already, and they're aware of all the

34:47

parties involved. The fucking tweets

34:49

and misbehaviors

34:51

are all documented. And so

34:53

is this investigation just to get

34:55

us in a you know what I mean, another

34:58

one of those weird like situations

35:01

where we prove it and then they go, yeah, we can't

35:03

do anything about it. Though anyway, by then

35:05

it's like, oh, no, move on, bro. I

35:07

mean, I think until we can actually have a real reckoning

35:09

with like white supremacy, there's

35:12

an interesting going to happen with this this thing because

35:15

they're protected by their whiteness. You

35:17

know. There you see how again we saw

35:19

the discrepancy and the differences and

35:21

how these people were treated by

35:24

law enforcement, and even the fact

35:26

that you have sitting members who are possibly

35:28

involved. Yeah, it does feel like it will just get

35:30

to a point where all of these things

35:33

will be seen. But because there's

35:35

this, you know, there's not a lot of

35:37

appetite I think from the actual people

35:39

in Congress themselves to you know, get

35:41

these people out or hold them accountable. It'll

35:44

just be like, well, the thing is hopefully

35:46

the voters see this, and

35:48

then they'll do something like well that's no,

35:51

then well then how how are we actually protect

35:53

That's when you start feeling the sort of cynicism

35:56

about this, just like the like

35:58

illusory aspects of like this

36:00

investigation could be. And the voters

36:02

saw the videos, you know what I mean, Like, once

36:04

you've seen the videos, you kind of know what

36:07

January sixth was all about. And

36:10

if that wasn't a deterrent

36:13

for you to reconsider the

36:15

way that you vote on things, then this

36:18

fucking investigation with a bunch of people being

36:20

like I felt sad that day because

36:22

I had to hide. Is not gonna solve

36:24

the problem, right, Yeah, And you

36:27

look at you know what happened in the

36:29

build up to this. Pelosi was giving

36:32

away a lot of

36:34

power to get the Republicans to

36:36

be on board for this fucking bipartisan

36:39

committee, and she put just so they

36:41

would come to the table. And it was absurd

36:44

that like they I mean again, if they were really interested

36:47

in fucking up this investigation, they should have took this

36:49

deal that or you know what was being offered

36:51

by Pelosi in that Mitch McConnell

36:53

and Kevin McCarthy would have been able to pick

36:56

anyone to put on this committee.

36:58

They also would have had vetop hour over

37:01

things like fucking subpoenas. And

37:03

not only that, they were also agreed

37:05

to have this investigation wrapped up before the

37:07

mid term cycle. So because

37:10

they have said they've refused all that, all of

37:12

that's gone and now we're looking

37:14

at a thing where, yeah, maybe we

37:17

will get a more aggressive investigation.

37:19

But again, it's like one of those things where it just

37:21

feels like aren't there, like can't

37:24

isn't there some real way to adjudicate

37:27

this and bring justice or

37:29

we're all we're all just having a good time

37:32

and a laugh because we don't

37:34

know how to deal with this kind of rage in the

37:36

country. Yeah, all right,

37:38

let's take a quick break and we'll

37:41

be right back. And

37:52

we're back. Obviously, there's

37:54

some big news we're not talking about. We talked

37:57

about it on yesterday's Trending. But you

37:59

know, cosby getting out

38:01

Donald Rumsfeld shuffling

38:04

off this mortal coil. When

38:08

God closes a window, he opens

38:11

jail Celle Real roller coaster

38:13

riders. But instead

38:16

of talking about that, like I said, we talked

38:18

about that. If you want to hear us talk about that, we talked about

38:20

it on yesterday's Trending. But we're gonna talk

38:22

about a series of silly fuck ups,

38:25

starting with Andrew Juliani,

38:28

the human embodiment of

38:30

silly fuck up. He is the son of Rudy.

38:33

He is just Charisma

38:36

embodied right. He

38:39

has that. He's the prodigal son. He

38:42

is the political fucking maven.

38:44

He's the goat. As he said himself,

38:46

his political career has spanned five decades,

38:49

even though he's in his thirties, because

38:51

he counts every decade that he has been alive

38:54

in as being part of

38:56

his political career, and

38:58

that's why he said, Hey, that's why you should vote for me for

39:01

governor of New York. And

39:03

so recently there was a secret

39:05

ballot that was just for like that was distributed

39:07

for like a straw poll for GOP Republican

39:10

leaders in the state, just to see where the support

39:12

was. And of all of the candidates

39:15

there, Andrew Giuliani,

39:17

I mean, he got no

39:20

support. Abstain got

39:22

more support than he did as an

39:24

option on this straw poll. So he

39:26

came in with a whopping zero percent.

39:29

And now he's gone on to

39:31

say, like, oh, like, you know, he

39:33

actually said, according to my own internal

39:36

poll, I've done I'm doing great. He

39:39

really said that. Shit. So you know, nepotism

39:41

is a hell of a drug. I will

39:43

say, and I said this to somebody very

39:46

recently. I do think we're putting ourselves

39:49

in a pretty dangerous place with an Andrew

39:51

Giuliani in that the more that the

39:53

Internet makes him a bit, the

39:55

more likely it becomes that he actually

39:58

does start to do number like

40:00

I think we forget that. Trump

40:03

literally announced his campaign on

40:05

a Comedy Central roast. It

40:07

wasn't this dude, you know what I mean? Like he's

40:10

long been sort of

40:12

like a gimmick, and then at some point

40:14

that gimmick got taken seriously by

40:16

some and that tricked other people

40:18

into taking it seriously in a much

40:20

more dramatic way. And I don't

40:22

think Andrew Giuliani, whow

40:25

completely ridiculous and seemingly non

40:28

threatening in the grand scheme of things, is

40:31

actually as innocuous

40:33

as as it may seem, especially

40:36

with his energy and takes around COVID

40:39

and things like that, because more mainstream

40:41

his ideas like I have an immune system

40:44

is like, well, don't give people. I mean,

40:46

there are enough people thinking that shit, but don't

40:49

start. Don't let a governor or someone who's

40:51

holding office hits you with that. I have

40:53

an immune system ship because we have. Yeah.

40:56

I feel like maybe if he added

40:59

a decade too, like

41:01

the span of his political career, maybe going

41:03

back to when his dad started fucking around

41:05

on his first wife, Like

41:08

that would be if he counted

41:10

that, because that is eventually what led to

41:12

his political career starting. Like,

41:15

maybe maybe that will get

41:17

him the respect that he deserves.

41:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he spent years

41:22

sort of trying to politicize

41:24

his dad's pussy eating and now

41:26

here. He is trying

41:29

to fix the pussy eating in this country.

41:31

I like, yeah, all right, let's

41:33

talk about that lady that caused the Tour de France

41:36

crash. She was apparently

41:38

a fugitive, like there there is

41:40

a mister Bean movie in right,

41:44

like probably like a documentary

41:46

if if there were cameras around,

41:49

But she was a fugitive for three

41:51

days from from the law. I

41:53

hadn't seen this video until this morning,

41:56

but I

41:58

have not What does she do if

42:00

you just search toward to France crash?

42:03

Okay, because I want you to be able to see

42:05

this. It's talk about because it's this woman was holding

42:07

a sign to get on camera and she fucked up

42:09

the entire peloton and everyone caused

42:11

like a twenty person crash. Whoa.

42:14

And her pose before

42:18

she knocks the entire tow

42:20

fronts down is embarrassing,

42:23

like her, she's posing in an

42:25

embarrassing way and then

42:28

knocks the entire like field

42:30

of riders down, and it like

42:32

the second she is struck by the rider,

42:36

she like gives a cartoonist like oh

42:39

yeah, like

42:43

whole upper body whipped around because

42:46

she's like a fucking

42:48

oh, come on, it's a road race, and you're stepping

42:51

into the road with your elbows out holding

42:53

a long cardboard sign that says like

42:55

let's go Grandma and grandpa.

42:58

And yeah, she's struck

43:00

this one rider and created

43:02

an entire fucking chain reaction

43:05

where dozens of participants

43:07

that were in the Tour de France they just went down

43:10

to the point where after that one of the

43:12

like the head organizer of the thing is like, we're

43:14

gonna sue her for that shit.

43:16

Whoa. But it's also like brought

43:19

into it. A lot of riders have also like

43:21

this has kind of been a talking point amongst

43:23

the riders. It's like around safety around

43:26

the course too, because it's like, well, come

43:28

on, like, you got a race that is this important,

43:30

but some idiot with with cardboard sign

43:33

and a dream to be on TV could

43:35

completely upend the entire race. I

43:37

mean, luckily Nolan was like super seriously

43:40

injured, but there was one guy who had

43:42

to like

43:44

like pull out of the Tour de Frants altogether

43:46

because you got you know, ran over by a bunch

43:49

of other bikes. Holy shit. And so

43:51

she's rooting for grandparents but they're

43:53

not in the race. That's

43:57

not so confused about exactly.

44:00

That's why it's like one of these weird I'm

44:02

gonna chalk it up to people being indoors

44:04

too long and now they're like, this

44:06

is my chance to get some attention

44:09

and get out there and just be in

44:11

the middle of a road, like just cheezing

44:13

on camera and just destroying the race

44:16

for people. Yeah, but you know, and

44:18

this is gonna be a controversial

44:20

take, but I do think at some point

44:22

we just have to start, like, somebody

44:24

should shoot her legs, you know what I

44:27

mean, Like treat her like we treat horses

44:29

when they do not the thing that like

44:32

if a horse runs and then he injures

44:34

himself, we put the horse down. And

44:37

this is a brain injury. If

44:39

you go to another person's race

44:42

and think that holding up a sign for your

44:44

grandparents is a reasonable decision.

44:46

So we should shoot her in the legs

44:49

or her marker writing

44:51

arm, you know what I mean. Just something punitive

44:54

should happen that makes it clear for her

44:56

in the future, should you do this,

44:58

We're gonna take out your other appendages.

45:02

Yeah, I like, yeah, I mean, what's

45:04

what would we do in the like? So this is one version,

45:07

but it reminds me of Steve Bartman, the

45:09

Chicago Cubs fan that

45:11

you know who really really

45:14

had it bad. And because this woman apparently

45:16

had a similar Bartman asque like

45:19

fleeing thing where she knocked the

45:21

she knocked the people out. She was like oh shit, and

45:24

everyone's like the fuck are you doing? And

45:26

she ditched her sign and like vanished, okay,

45:29

And that's why she's on the run for three days because she's like,

45:31

I'm all fuck that, Like I'm not I'm not facing

45:33

this. But there's something there's just this

45:35

Steve Bartman quality that I love too, which

45:37

is someone who probably wanted

45:39

to be there in the name of you

45:41

know, good you know kind competition

45:44

and be part of it, just ended up becoming

45:46

the focal point and like just the lightning

45:48

rod for people's ages, like

45:51

a very specific, very

45:53

weird energy and her

45:55

split second on the global

45:57

stage, like her the post she's

46:00

doing while she's and the

46:02

sign itself lengthened like you were

46:04

saying, go Grandma and Grandpa

46:06

is just a weird thing to be saying on

46:09

the sign, and she's like striking

46:11

this weird pose like Bartman,

46:14

who was wearing a turtleneck and

46:16

headphones, like listening to the game when

46:19

he completely fucked up the Cubs chance

46:22

at making it to the World Series that season.

46:25

And all I'm saying is, if we shoot

46:27

her in the legs or her

46:29

in her hand, or whatever it is that feels

46:31

most appropriate for her decision, then

46:35

she no longer is public Enemy

46:37

number one because something punitive happened

46:39

that feels satisfying for everybody

46:42

involved. If I fell off my bike,

46:45

I'm cool because her legs got shot.

46:47

If my favorite racer

46:49

lost the race because this lady got in the

46:51

way, it's fine because she got a bullet

46:54

in her legs. It's the easiest

46:56

solution, and we need to consider

46:58

it. How did you you're from Illinois, right

47:00

Chicago area? Yeah, I'm from right outside Chicago.

47:03

Okay, how did did you have feelings

47:05

around the Steve Bartman? I mean not that you

47:07

probably don't know if you give a funk about the Cubs or not, but

47:10

what was that? Was there a feeling locally

47:13

about it or nothing? From

47:15

I don't care about baseball and

47:17

perfect If I had to pick, I would pick the White

47:19

Socks just because that's more of like the

47:21

working class team in Chicago,

47:24

whereas like the Cubs is a lot of like transplants

47:27

and people who just

47:30

need a reason to get drunk and ruined the

47:32

city. So, uh, you know,

47:34

I yeah, I don't feel anything

47:37

about Steve Bartman, but that's

47:39

not a good answer for your podcast. So I

47:42

think he ruined my family.

47:46

My father and I don't speak anymore because

47:48

of Steve. I'll never forgive him. I

47:51

think he lived in Arizona or some shit. Now,

47:54

Yeah, they tracked him and he was

47:56

basically in like a lifelong witness

47:58

protection program. Jesus

48:00

Christ. I mean, because

48:02

there's nothing that's less

48:05

reasonable than a drunk white guy

48:07

who's a sports fan. Like they

48:10

were not. They weren't, like, well, let's

48:12

think about his feelings and like he probably

48:15

he just seems like an awkward dude.

48:17

I think they went hard after he just

48:19

really wanted that baseball and it really

48:22

ruined a lot of people's hopes and dreams.

48:25

Right yeah. Oh, just side note,

48:27

Steve Bartman got a World Series

48:30

ring when they won in twenty sixteen.

48:32

That's that's

48:35

kind of cute. Tom Ricketts, the owner, gifted

48:38

him with it. He said, well, no gesture

48:40

can fully lift the public burden he has endured for

48:42

more than a decade. We felt

48:44

it was important Steve knows he has been

48:46

and continues to be fully embraced by this organization.

48:49

After all he has sacrificed. We are proud

48:51

to recognize Steve Bartman with this gift.

48:54

WHOA. So they were like, Yo, we

48:56

beat your ass so bad that

48:58

you deserve a I'm in ring from

49:01

the Cubs organization because you had

49:03

to leave your town and hide for

49:05

decades. Fuck. I

49:08

also want to say, like his

49:10

thing was a split second decision.

49:13

Baseball's in front of you, you reach

49:15

out and grab for it. You can't

49:18

fully blame him. A

49:20

lot of the anger towards him

49:23

was based on the fact that he had

49:25

such a specific look that like it's

49:27

still a good Halloween costume, whereas

49:31

this woman was put was set

49:33

up like in the path and

49:36

frozen like ready

49:39

for her close up type shit when

49:41

she knocked over your grandma

49:44

and your grandpa. Don't contribute

49:46

to this rape for this

49:49

organization in any way.

49:51

If you're proud of them, go visit

49:54

them, go see them where they live.

49:57

I'm sure that those old fucks

49:59

would happily spend time with you

50:01

well before they want to watch a fucking

50:04

bike race. Just in case

50:06

your sign makes it on TV, right

50:09

right, Yeah, and also with Bartman

50:11

two, let's not forget Alex Gonzalez.

50:14

He actually made a terrible error in that game,

50:16

but people people forget that more

50:18

than they do to hate on the dude with the turtleneck, which

50:20

I get optically, like you're gonna be like, nah, no that

50:23

doing the turtleneck. Yeah, I mean I think

50:25

that. I wake up every morning I say that out loud,

50:27

and I don't care about Steve Bartman at all. I

50:29

just wake up like, good morning, fuck that dude in

50:31

the turtleneck. All

50:34

right, let's talk Clifford. This is, as

50:37

you will soon learn. Maybe not, maybe

50:39

this is just my unfortunate

50:42

luck that somebody bought my kids

50:44

a compendium a

50:47

series of Clifford the Big Red Dog books

50:50

when we first had them, and so

50:52

Clifford the Big Red Dog has been in

50:55

our household for a number of years now.

50:57

They are very stupid books. Like children's

51:01

books. Children's books

51:03

are have gotten

51:06

like much better, like

51:08

the modern children's books are good.

51:11

There's actually a market where people have to compete,

51:14

and talented writers and

51:16

artists are competing with one another

51:18

to make the best children's book that was

51:20

not true when Clifford the

51:22

Big Red Dog was brought into existence.

51:26

Like that, there's a series of children's books

51:28

like Goodnight Moon. Nailed it, Goodnight

51:30

Moon as a work of art, like very well

51:32

done. That was early on. But there's

51:34

also these books like Pat

51:37

the Cat and Pet the Puppy

51:39

that are just like, this is Nettie.

51:42

He has a dog. He likes

51:44

to pet the dog and it's just like

51:46

real, real dumb. And also the art is

51:48

like could have been drawn by me, and

51:51

Clifford is like similar. It's a little bit

51:53

above Pet the Cat. But it's

51:55

like the people are not inspired

51:58

by their own premise. Can tell like

52:00

they're phoning it in a little bit right,

52:03

Like it's just like I don't know, let's having

52:06

to eat a big pile of dog food? Would

52:08

yeah, does Clifford ever just like

52:11

fuck shit up? Do you know what I mean? Like

52:13

you're a big red dog. I was as like

52:15

you gotta be knocking over some fire stations

52:18

and then you

52:20

know, like nobody ever dies, but

52:22

it's like it's more woman

52:25

knocking over the Tour de France

52:27

level hijaks, not nobody

52:31

nobody has killed, but it's

52:33

you also get the sense that like it's

52:35

a miracle that nobody's ever killed. So

52:38

Clifford just really wants the attention of

52:40

his grandparents and then he shows up

52:42

places and fucks, okay, I get

52:44

you. It's a it is a public

52:47

health atrocity that he's allowed to

52:49

just roam free in the community

52:51

that he's allowed to roam free in. But it is

52:54

a small town. He like goes around and

52:56

like you know, will pick up a true like rip

52:58

a tree out of the ground and want to play fetch

53:01

with it and stuff like that. In the in the books

53:04

and in this in this movie,

53:06

he's a puppy still, so he's only like

53:08

the size of an elephant. He's not the

53:11

size of the dinosaur like in the books.

53:13

He lives in Manhattan, though, and

53:17

that's a a target

53:19

rich environment for a dog.

53:22

Like puppies will chew up anything. Puppies

53:26

will chew up anything. And

53:28

there's you know, there's a there's a

53:30

scene in the trailer where he swallows

53:32

a pug and then for yeah,

53:36

well costs it up, which is just like

53:39

a miracle of

53:42

you know, just chance that

53:44

he that it doesn't agree with him

53:46

because he would have swallowed that shit

53:48

puppies eat and swallow everything

53:51

and then you have to like get it out of their digestive

53:53

track. Wait, did he swallow

53:55

this pug with the intention of

53:58

eating the pug? Or was this like the

54:00

pug was running and he licking

54:03

out by accident. He's licking

54:05

the pug in a lovable way

54:07

and whoops, which

54:10

is just a classic gag of a family

54:12

losing their dog to a big old dog. Yeah,

54:16

but it's whimsical, and it's a big red puppy

54:18

that looks like Satan's fucking pet.

54:21

Yeah. The other part is like they showed

54:23

them and the trailer, there's like a person in one of those

54:26

big inflatable bubble things that you can like,

54:28

you know, run around in and knock into people. And then

54:30

Clifford thinks that's a toy and

54:33

even I get it. This whimsical. This

54:36

fucking dog throws this dude in the

54:38

bubble so high up. I'm like, dude, this person's

54:40

dead. I don't care what kind of fucking bubble you're

54:42

in. And that's like they need to play

54:44

this a little more real, like all financial

54:47

liability, the fucking trail of

54:49

bodies that's left behind Clifford it's

54:52

I think I would honestly watch that version

54:54

more than this. I don't know if you guys

54:56

remember this, but there was that guy who went

54:58

down a mountain in one of those bubble things

55:00

or like went dyed down some ski

55:02

slope and then he

55:05

accidentally went off the side of

55:07

a mountain and like died

55:09

because like it was like I

55:11

think it was like a thing that was set up

55:14

for people to do this, like

55:16

down a ski slope. Red Bull Presents,

55:19

Yeah, exactly, unfortunate death.

55:22

Yeah, it's a fucking dude like went

55:24

over the side of a mountain in that bubble

55:26

thing and died real, real, silly,

55:29

and so yeah, to your point,

55:31

Clifford should do the same, you

55:33

know what I mean, Like he should murder people fun

55:35

and silly. Yeah. The twenty seven year

55:37

old Dennis Borrokov was with

55:39

friends at the Dombai ski resort

55:42

where they frequently went snoreboarding, on January

55:44

third, and we decided to take a ride in a zorb

55:47

and he went off a cliff. Taken

55:50

on his phone by one of his friends shows the two men being

55:52

fitted in arness his inside the orb and

55:54

then they go, oh, damn, that's that's

55:57

a shame. Yeah, it's a sad story.

56:00

Yeah. Yeah, and in my mind, in

56:02

your mind, I hope you're not in the thing. We're like, man, I'm in a zorb.

56:05

I'm good no matter what, even if I went on, but hey,

56:07

no better place to be than a zorb off

56:10

the side of a cliff. You're just in a literal inflatable,

56:12

you know, bubble wrap. I mean

56:15

in that moment you you have to assume

56:17

that is what you know. As you're falling

56:19

to your death, you probably do have that

56:21

moment of like maybe the zorb will stop,

56:25

please orb study orb.

56:30

Yeah. There. It's also surprisingly

56:32

common for people to be in a bounce

56:34

house that gets blown away by wind,

56:37

and that's like a surprisingly common

56:39

way way to go. So yeah,

56:42

you're you're not protected by zorbs

56:44

by bounce houses, and this

56:47

dog would kill you. Don't be fooled. Don't

56:49

be fooled. Yeah, I wonder what's

56:51

the Yeah, what's what do you think the rate is

56:53

for zorbed like annual zorb deaths

56:56

and bounce houses that flyaway

57:00

right, like more than Yeah,

57:02

I bet it's it's like a shark

57:05

level, Like murders are a little

57:07

above sharks. Yeah,

57:09

I say, uh, let's see

57:12

for people wind related

57:14

accidents with bounty houses. Ten

57:16

deaths in the last fifteen years. Okay,

57:19

not bad, more sharks

57:21

than I would have expected, more dangerous. Yeah,

57:25

Now I'm not gonna be get to be that annoying uncle

57:28

be like, hey, you know it's more dangerous than a shark attack,

57:30

right, and now I'm like check

57:32

the numbers on that again. Sorry, old

57:34

school, that's not true. There

57:36

does seem to be a dining

57:38

trend among sharks where they

57:41

like eat people doing

57:43

silly stuff, like a shark just like tried

57:45

to eat somebody whose paras sailing.

57:48

That there was a kite surfer who was attacked

57:51

by a pod of sharks and killed.

57:54

I would I would be interested to see if that. Oh

57:57

if there's some crossover. Yeah,

57:58

I got a zorb attacks of sharks

58:02

on zorblow cong versus

58:04

Godzilla type. Yeah,

58:06

yeah, I like that. Well,

58:08

Langston, we will

58:11

look into that before you're on next. But this

58:13

has been such a pleasure having you. Where

58:16

can people find you and follow you? Oh?

58:18

They can uh, And I've had a pleasure

58:20

as well, gentlemen. They can find

58:22

me at Langston Kerman on

58:25

all platforms, Twitter, and Instagram.

58:27

Please don't try to find me on Facebook. I'm

58:30

off of that toxic thing for

58:32

the time being, I think. And

58:35

you can always listen to my podcast. It's

58:37

called My Mama told me. It's on

58:39

iHeart and Big Money Players and I

58:42

get to talk a lot of shit about conspiracy

58:44

theories with black people. It's a good time, great

58:46

show. Is there a tweet or some other work

58:49

of social media you've been enjoying? Yes,

58:52

so recently at an

58:54

extremely old tweet from

58:56

Shack and a tweet from

58:58

OH nine resurfaced

59:01

on my timeline from from Shaq Shaquille

59:03

O'Neil himself, and he writes,

59:05

and this is all I want

59:08

to step it out, just so you guys understand

59:10

how funny this is. He writes, these

59:12

nuts come up. Aha, got

59:15

y'all if you fell for that,

59:17

come on now l O l lmfao

59:21

ah got you all. Shack,

59:30

why Shaq got drunk? And

59:32

we give this man millions and millions

59:35

of dollars in endorsement money in television

59:37

time every year, all because he had

59:39

big feet in ninety two and

59:41

he's playing these nuts on Twitter. He

59:44

did get me though, on that. I have to admit listen,

59:46

he got us all Jack, he got

59:49

these nuts. Ha. Whoa, I'm

59:52

sorry, whoa. You didn't even give me a chance

59:54

to react. Is that the

59:56

setup and the punchline is the same

59:59

thing. If you if you get to write down

1:00:01

these nuts, you you

1:00:04

win. Sorry, Miles, where can people

1:00:06

find you? And what's a tweet you've been enjoying?

1:00:08

Twitter? Instagram? Miles of Gray.

1:00:11

Also the other podcast for twenty day Fiance,

1:00:13

We're talking ninety day Hi and

1:00:17

him tweets out like past guest Melissa Seaton

1:00:19

at Melissa's Tetton. She tweets, if you love

1:00:22

injuries, you'll love the NBA. So

1:00:26

true. Everybody's going down

1:00:29

is a neat thing for freaking me the fuck out.

1:00:32

Yeah. Also Marcella Argueo

1:00:34

past guests, she just sort of quote

1:00:36

tweeted another thing. But I just like, I like her

1:00:39

set up to this really good tweet. She said, this joke is

1:00:41

so perfectly written that I actually hate

1:00:43

it. And it's a tweet from Zach Vile

1:00:45

at Zach v v e Tweeting.

1:00:48

Brad Pitt was married to Jennifer Anderston. Now

1:00:50

he's dating a woman half his age. This

1:00:53

dude went from jen A to gen Z really

1:00:59

easy, real, real good construction,

1:01:01

better than that actually made. That's up there

1:01:03

with these nuts. Ha got

1:01:07

y'all's stupid. You

1:01:10

can find me on Twitter at Jack

1:01:13

Underscore O'Brien a

1:01:16

couple things I've

1:01:18

been enjoying on Twitter. PFT

1:01:21

commenter tweeted, every TV

1:01:23

in America should automatically cut away

1:01:25

to any shohei otani at bat

1:01:27

like a weather alert. On board

1:01:29

with that, this dude is

1:01:32

just NonStop every

1:01:34

day. It's a new home run, new successful

1:01:38

outing on the mound.

1:01:40

And somebody tweeter

1:01:43

picture of a Chucky Cheese

1:01:45

where Chuck E. Cheese is sitting in

1:01:48

black and white and an old Chucky Cheese

1:01:51

and there is a Confederate flag on the wall, and they tweeted

1:01:53

Chuck E Cheese used to fly the Confederate flag

1:01:56

and fund abortions not pleas, tweeted

1:01:59

Robert entertain in mint Lee. You

1:02:03

can find us on Twitter at daily Zeitgeist

1:02:05

for at d Daily Zeitgeist on Instagram. We have

1:02:07

Facebook fan page and a website. Daily zeitgeis

1:02:10

dot com where we post our episodes and

1:02:12

our footno we

1:02:14

link off to the information that we talked about in today's

1:02:17

episode. As well as a song

1:02:19

we think you might enjoy. Miles, what song

1:02:21

do we suggest people check out today?

1:02:24

This is gonna be a track Let's

1:02:27

go to Brazil from this artist

1:02:29

gal cost g A l. C

1:02:32

Osta and the track is called

1:02:34

Pontos de Luce and it

1:02:37

is a track I've heard sampled a lot

1:02:39

by of one of my favorite producers,

1:02:42

Songo, and he's just got this nice, you know,

1:02:44

throwback seventies Brazilian funk

1:02:47

feel to it. So yeah, this should be

1:02:49

something that you all should enjoy as well.

1:02:51

All right, we'll go check that out.

1:02:54

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