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Hello the Internet, and welcome to

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this episode of the Weekly Zeitgeist.

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Uh. These are some of our favorite segments

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from this week, all edited

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together into one NonStop

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infotainment laugh

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stravaganza. Uh yeah,

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So, without further ado, here

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is the Weekly Zeitgeist. Really,

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we are thrilled to be joined in our

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third seat by one of the very

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faces all Mount Zitemore. She

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is the hilarious, she is

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the talented, she is the legendary

0:37

Lacy Mosley. What's

0:42

happened? Weight? I want to see if I can do it? Oh

0:46

mute, damp, you can't. I'm getting I'm

0:48

getting recorded with y'all. Cangar me. I

0:50

was saying, saying,

0:53

wait, can I do it? What's doing

0:55

that? It's so far? It's

1:01

higher than that, isn't it?

1:04

So? Yeah,

1:08

I can still do it. Ever,

1:13

that's that's it's that woo that you gotta.

1:15

That's the one that's where

1:19

you put your own stamp on that that is

1:22

That is a Lacy Moseley. You know, she's you

1:25

know what I mean, that's how it works. I say,

1:27

you make it your own. So I realized

1:31

I was a soprano very late in life.

1:35

I can when I hear that I

1:39

lost years. I

1:42

could have been Hallett at the girls. No,

1:47

because I I've always saying alto, I don't

1:49

know. I just thought this racism. Why

1:51

has my whole life rooted racism? I was just thought

1:54

because I was black, I was supposed to sing at I

1:59

don't how the black people were. That's where

2:01

the fun was in the quiet you

2:04

said it was when you were criticizing that little girl's name

2:06

when you're helping your cousin grade papers. But

2:08

as when you said, wait, am I a soprano?

2:13

I I wasn't even one who got me woke. It was a

2:16

wonderful white man who we were doing Sweeney

2:18

Todd. And if you know Sweeney Todd, you know the top line

2:20

of Sweeney Todd is the opening number

2:22

is like it's like a B flat. It's really

2:24

really high. And they were he was like, okay,

2:26

girls, who's gonna sing that? And we was all

2:28

like no, we out toes and he was like, listen,

2:31

come to the piano, and I was like okay, and

2:33

he just started playing the scales higher

2:35

and higher and higher, and I can sing Loving

2:37

You by many repretend with it's like

2:40

my sex song that I bring out of karaoke parties,

2:43

so I had to learn that.

2:45

I was like, oh, I can shriek very

2:47

high shout out to Maya Rudolph's mom.

2:50

Yes, many reptend I

2:52

didn't realize. I think like Maya Rudolph. I remember

2:55

she did this like Japanese character on

2:57

SNL that was really good and it was sucking me

2:59

up. I was like, what was going on? I think her stepmother

3:01

is like Japanese too. She's got a she's

3:04

been, she's she's seen it all and heard it

3:06

all. Maya Rudolph is one of them people,

3:09

Miles, you might be too. When I was like,

3:11

in nine, nobody

3:13

will have a race anymore, right,

3:17

right, that's right exactly.

3:21

All stock photos are just me or Maya Rudolph

3:23

of generic. Oh

3:28

shit, um yeah, I

3:31

thought that was gonna happen like within

3:33

the next decade. For some reason, I

3:35

was just a little bit of it

3:39

was promised pan Racial

3:43

World and je

3:47

Postal World in two thousand

3:49

nine j the

3:53

nineties. I was like, yeah, I know that's where it's

3:55

headed. We're racism, It's

3:58

all going to be over. Just do you wait by

4:00

the time I'm an adult, blakele,

4:04

what's something from your search history. That's

4:07

revealing about who you are. Thank

4:09

you for using my God's given

4:11

name. Your confirmation named blakele

4:14

of course. Um, I'm

4:16

gonna go with can you get

4:19

poison ivy from dead leaves?

4:22

Is the most the most recent search

4:24

that I had. What's the answer to that? Stay

4:27

tuned? No, what if? That was my idea

4:29

for a tease? Guys, listen, I don't want to do your job

4:32

for you, but they will hang around for the answer

4:34

to that question. It is at

4:36

three in act three. We're waiting to act

4:39

no. Act two. I like to put it right in the middle of

4:42

Oh, that's a test,

4:44

a test. I don't know how Robert mcke will feel about that, but

4:46

there's anything I do. It's test the patience

4:49

of those smoking.

4:53

That's for all the Starbucks screenwriter

4:55

crowd fucking reading story

4:58

by Robert McKee. Um. But

5:00

okay, so what happened you? You saw a pilot leaves

5:02

and knowing you, I know what you like to do. You always you

5:05

can't resist jumping into a dead pilot leaves

5:07

with your naked body. So what

5:09

happened is that? What happened? Let's

5:11

just say I went out wearing nothing but a rake

5:14

and I saw a pile

5:16

of dead leaves, and um so

5:18

I was wondering because like I picked them up, and

5:20

because I was moving them out of my way, and I'm like, oh, they looks

5:22

like poison ivy. And apparently

5:25

five days after poison

5:27

Ivy's dead, it's still has It's the oil on

5:29

poison ready that that gets you, and

5:31

the oil is still a threat

5:34

during that time period. I was fine, you

5:36

know, sorry, I have to just

5:39

to back up. I made a joke. And

5:41

then you said something that actually struck me as

5:43

even more odd is that you had to move

5:45

them out of your way. What are you talking?

5:47

What? What was? What do you talk? You were

5:49

you just like beating up a leaf pile or some ship

5:52

you'd like get back leaf pile? Coming

5:54

to like what what it was? Imminent domain?

5:56

Actually I didn'tvoke to emminent domain.

5:59

Uh, they were evident in my domain.

6:01

So I moved them. Now, as you know, I've been into

6:04

a Part three golf recently in los

6:06

Fields and it was in the way of my ball,

6:09

and I moved them out

6:11

of the way with my hands and didn't make a difference

6:13

because I don't know how to play golf. Yet but uh

6:16

yeah, those leaves are gone and they were dead, dead

6:18

as a doornail. Had

6:21

ever had a poison oak or ivy

6:23

experience ever? Apparently?

6:27

Yeah, I never had that either, Never got that,

6:29

never never been stung by a bee, lived

6:31

very sheltered, lots interesting,

6:34

never been sung, never

6:36

been stung from

6:40

the people who brought you be movie, which

6:43

is a horny I watched that movie for the first time

6:45

last week. It was like, genuinely

6:47

more horny than I was prepared for it to be. Morning.

6:51

Yeah, Jerry seinfeld B falls in

6:53

love with Renee zelwigger Wine

6:56

Mom like in the first couple

6:59

of and he's like, I'm gonna I think I'm gonna suck

7:01

this human woman and she and

7:06

she clearly for me. It was very clear

7:08

that she only views this as a friendship

7:10

with Jerry Seinfelby, but he is really

7:12

like sel She's

7:15

like clearly needs someone in her life,

7:17

and so she says like, oh yeah,

7:19

I'll hang out, Oh yeah, hang out. Yeah.

7:24

But then Jerry Seinfeldby kind of reads

7:26

into it and thinks that you know, it's a tale.

7:28

Is all this time the Jerryby

7:31

is getting friend zoned big time. He doesn't even realize.

7:36

And I think the most tragic part about bees

7:38

is that their bodies have horizontal

7:41

stripes instead of vertical stripes.

7:43

With those big fat tummies they have, and if they

7:45

got a little bit of a swimming action with those those

7:47

stripes aren't doing the calls.

7:50

Whoops, aren't very slimming. You know, God,

7:53

it is what it is. It is what it is, all

7:58

right, Lacy? What is something from your history?

8:02

Something from my search history?

8:04

I am actually going to

8:06

look at the things that I prepared.

8:09

Uh oh okay, so search

8:11

history, black wellness, holiday

8:14

God mm hmm. So

8:18

my cousin uh teaches

8:21

yoga and he's black, which like there's very

8:23

few black yoga instructors, So shout

8:25

out to black Matt Yoga. But um,

8:28

he got me on this whole thing of like I

8:30

need to find small businesses

8:33

to send my Christmas gifts from,

8:35

and I would prefer them to be black owned.

8:37

So now I'm like on a

8:40

full hunt to find like black owned businesses

8:42

that I can send gifts from.

8:44

Oh that's dope. N how's

8:46

the how's the hunt going? And do you do you have

8:49

without giving anything

8:51

away? Do you have you had success?

8:53

What are we looking at for Christmas

8:56

gifts. We're finding some

8:58

cute places, We're finding something those, we're finding

9:00

some soaps. The issue is is that Amazon

9:03

gets things to the girls in two days.

9:08

You know, Jeff Baso's murdering as

9:10

is gonna have your gifts on time.

9:12

So I'm like, okay, I think like with smaller

9:15

businesses, especially during a pandemic, especially

9:17

when the USPS has, you know, been so severely

9:19

damaged by the underfunding, I'm like, Okay,

9:22

how far ahead do I need to order right

9:24

now so that they Yeah, so that's where

9:26

I Matt and I'm like, oh, panic because

9:28

I need to order like forty gifts and now.

9:31

So um yeah, that's the only

9:33

issue. But it's still going good. But I'm

9:35

trying to buy small. I hope people are buying small

9:37

this year, especially because god damn,

9:39

this is a hard year for small businesses. Oh yeah,

9:42

I think the other The thing with

9:44

Amazon too is half the time, if

9:47

you just figure out what the product is, just go

9:49

to the website of the product that

9:51

manufacturer, and chances are they're already

9:53

having some kind of deal hut

9:57

by Amazon. Awesome.

9:59

Just get it from the brand. You know, there's a way around

10:02

and you know what, maybe you have to wait three days,

10:04

four days. Remember that, Remember the days we used to wait

10:06

weeks for our Delia's

10:09

orders to arrive. Come on,

10:11

come on now, Why

10:14

didn't Why did Cody think there? I know I know

10:16

him? He um. He tweeted

10:18

me a couple of days ago and was like, I

10:20

just remember going through my emails at last he had

10:22

three different Facebook accounts, and I did

10:25

with three different photos. I still do, and

10:28

I think I might have four now. But the reason

10:30

was because I was chopping at Toby and Delia's

10:33

and they'd be like, off, if you give us

10:35

your Facebook. So

10:38

I put on my ski mask. It was like hebook.

10:43

They say, I say,

10:45

this is like say you met later. That was

10:47

completely different. I

10:51

feel like based on the as

10:54

I keep reminding our listeners, I'm watching the

10:56

Crown four five six

10:59

episodes in UH

11:01

and I think the way that we're going to get

11:03

out of this Amazon thing is a

11:05

Amazon truck needs to hit

11:08

and kill somebody who

11:10

the president or Jeff Bezos cares

11:13

about. Because that's

11:15

that's the only way London

11:17

got out of their deadly fog

11:19

was because like some pretty young

11:21

girl who worked for Winston Churchill

11:24

spoiler alert, got you know that

11:26

was made up? Right? A few

11:28

things that was made up, there's

11:33

exactly That's

11:36

the episode that almost made me give up on the show.

11:38

But the yeah,

11:41

the they do a lot of stuff to make Winston

11:43

Churchill and like the Conservatives

11:46

seem okay, I'm

11:48

not totally feeling that the politics

11:51

of of the Crown. I am back on

11:53

board for watching it, but the politics are

11:55

bad. Well, we are thrilled

11:57

to be joined in our third seat by the Hilaria

12:00

is the talented Allison

12:02

Stevenson. HII,

12:06

Hello, we come back. How

12:08

are you doing back? You know?

12:12

Yeah, yeah, perpetually

12:14

evolving. I feel like it's you

12:16

should you're not allowed to say that you're good, even

12:18

if it's like the standard thing you have to

12:21

say. I feel like you're just not allowed

12:23

to be like, yeah, oh

12:25

my god, I'm so good. And it was supposed to set

12:27

off our electric shock callers for asking how

12:30

are you? Because what's new? What's

12:32

new? What's new? Anything new?

12:34

Anything good on TV? Well?

12:37

I did are? I told you earlier, but I had

12:40

I did just come back from the hospital a

12:42

few days ago, right, yes, you're

12:45

for fun? Ye out,

12:48

just get some stuff rearranged,

12:53

like what if my heart was like, that's

12:55

on this side. Yeah, what

12:57

do you think, doc? No, I had to get my gallbladder

12:59

removed? Oh, ship,

13:02

yep, it's ah and I

13:04

the like even in your description

13:06

of I went to the e R and they were

13:09

like, NA, you're good, go home, which

13:11

is like, you know, I've unfortunately

13:13

had friends have told that to them, and ship

13:16

went horribly south when

13:18

they went home, And I'm just so glad

13:20

that despite that happening, and you're going

13:22

back in another doctor like okay, we gotta get your gall bladder

13:24

out that you're okay, Thank the Lord,

13:27

Thank the Lord. Yeah.

13:31

Yeah, I find that gall bladder

13:33

removal is rarely an elective surgery.

13:35

It's usually things are going bad at

13:37

that point. Well,

13:40

we all know I need to lose weight. I was like, what if I

13:42

just like four ounces from

13:45

the morbid

13:48

idiot beside of me is do you can you

13:50

ask for your extracted biological

13:54

organs after the back?

13:57

I asked and they thought I couldn't. What

14:00

fuck you know? Right? Fuck

14:02

you you know? And I don't want

14:04

to get into the financials of it, but I'd imagine

14:07

you know that they're going to charge insurance

14:10

whoever, whoever you know, if you or

14:12

whoever's footing the bill, that's a lot of money that should

14:14

come with the free trash park

14:16

that comes with it. I shouldn't be able to get my gall

14:18

bladder at a jar or some ship. Would

14:20

you save it though? I mean, I know we asked those questions, and

14:23

even if they said, yeah, you want it to be like no, I'm just

14:25

I'm just curious.

14:26

I would I would have saved

14:28

it. And the little gall stones is

14:31

it small? Apparently?

14:33

Yeah, it's like a teeny little They

14:35

like took it out of my belly button.

14:38

Oh wow, that's pretty cool. I am so

14:41

ignorant about most things medical, and

14:43

I'm like, you know, I hear anything that's inside

14:45

your bottom, Like, so that's the size of a volleyball, you

14:48

know that. I actually don't. I don't know the answer

14:54

my belly button. So I'm just imagining it like the

14:56

size of a quarter. I think mentally

14:58

that's what I needed to be at most

15:00

of the thing. Agent Smith pulls on puts on

15:02

Neo's belly button in the right I

15:05

was gonna say, I have to imagine that was

15:07

exactly how your procedure went. In the back

15:09

up a speeding cab. Yeah,

15:12

with like some weird laser like hold

15:14

on, I've got it, I'm tracking it.

15:17

Wow, that that sounds

15:19

like a lot, especially the way I'm imagining

15:21

it. So we're very very

15:23

happy, resilient happy

15:26

back here people postop, guests

15:28

who are coming out of medical procedures, people

15:30

who were battling COVID. So we appreciate

15:33

you time. All

15:36

right, let's take a quick break. We'll be right back,

15:49

and we're back. Let's talk about,

15:51

um, some ideas for police

15:53

reform that are being put forward in

15:56

California. There's a bill being discussed,

15:59

UH that is kind

16:01

of incrementalist, uh in

16:03

the way that basically all of

16:05

the ideas for police reform that are endorsed

16:08

by um the police

16:10

are attend to be But

16:14

yeah, this one is basically saying

16:16

that becoming a cop should require

16:18

you to have a bachelor's degree and

16:21

be twenty five years old, just

16:23

based on statistics about what

16:25

police officers with those attributes,

16:28

how violent they are versus

16:30

otherwise. Yeah. The legislator

16:32

who's putting it, who's who wrote

16:35

the bill, uh, is referring

16:37

to like this study in twos ten that

16:39

that basically says that college

16:41

educated officers typically typically

16:44

right, typically use less

16:46

force often and

16:49

fewer complaints filed against

16:51

them. Now, okay, that's a good thing

16:53

to identify that group of people. Um,

16:56

but this is you know, like we're

16:58

saying this is incremental change age when

17:00

we know what the real issues are. But

17:03

you know, this isn't the issue here.

17:05

And like, the reason this bill is coming out isn't

17:07

because we have a problem with you know, not

17:09

enough cops who studied abroad in Bartarlona.

17:13

You know, we have fucking real issues

17:15

here. This is an issue within policing

17:17

that is anti black, anti poor,

17:19

anti fucking everything. Uh.

17:22

And they're protected by powerful unions

17:24

that can keep any kind of real, meaningful

17:27

like legal repercussions from ever you

17:29

know, getting close to them, as well as

17:31

like the financial consequences

17:33

via these like ridiculous retirement

17:36

plans a lot of these people have where it's like, dude, you get

17:38

fired and then you're fucking set, like no

17:40

matter what, even if you're tray to murder somebody

17:42

twice. Uh. And this is

17:44

just you know, these are the kinds of things

17:47

that you'd wish the legislators were

17:49

actually looking at because this is a good way

17:51

of legislator being like, well,

17:53

this is this is an improvement.

17:55

Yes, that would be great, because right now

17:57

you just need to be I think like eight seen

18:00

or have an equivalent like eighteen with an equivalent

18:02

in a high school diploma to begin your training.

18:05

And it can be I think twenty if you're in the California

18:07

Highway Patrol. But yes,

18:09

this is that's a good way to try and weed

18:11

out other people. But it's really a

18:13

disingenuous attempt at real reform,

18:16

and we just need to look at how much

18:18

money is going to these departments

18:21

and actually just having this conversation

18:23

about reinvesting in communities,

18:26

because the perception in law enforcement in this

18:28

country is, well, people commit crime

18:30

because they're black, rather

18:32

than seeing the full picture of how

18:34

black and brown Americans have been abandoned.

18:37

And we're merely just branding this failure

18:39

of governance as crime. You know,

18:41

it's not, oh it's crime. It's not we've failed

18:43

these people. They have no recourse. They're

18:45

so desperate that they commit crime. People

18:48

commit crimes out of desperation. You

18:50

know, nine times out of ten, there are some people who just do

18:52

it for the jollies. But let's be real, like a lot

18:54

of this is about survival. Like you deal drugs

18:56

not because you've got to kick out of dealing drugs,

18:58

you do it because that's the only employe and available to

19:00

you that has the kind of income

19:03

that you're looking for unfortunately, or

19:05

things other things like that gang people don't want to be

19:07

in gangs, like this is all these are all

19:09

you know, fact, these are all byproducts of this failure.

19:12

Um. And I just want to also point out that this

19:15

study that the legislator uh

19:17

is using to say like oh yeah, look check this out,

19:20

like you know, people who have been to France and college,

19:23

you know, murder less. Uh. It

19:25

was done by the National Police Foundation,

19:27

which I just want to point out that

19:29

they love community policing

19:32

like solutions, and they love

19:34

putting forward the broken window policing

19:37

strategy, which is totally fucked

19:39

up and completely wrong and backwards

19:42

and biased. So it's

19:44

already like you know, it's we're we

19:46

have an imperfect thing, drawing from an

19:48

imperfect place, trying to you

19:50

know, be presented as you know, meaningful

19:53

change. Uh. So it's just

19:55

I think, just well, we will continue

19:57

to see things like this that look good

19:59

and are good, but I think are avoiding

20:02

what all the outcries were from the public

20:04

over this last year over what is necessary

20:06

to change the relationship between the community

20:09

and law enforcement. Yeah.

20:11

Yeah, I mean, I you know, I grew up in

20:13

in the city of Chicago. What's Chicago

20:15

public schools? Very diverse

20:17

schools and all that, and I I can't

20:20

tell you enough. I Mean, there are people

20:22

who I've met and who I've known a little and

20:24

they're like, oh, I'm becoming a cop. And in my head, I'm

20:26

like, they're letting me, you become a cop, right,

20:29

They're they're allowing and I'm like, I'm like what,

20:31

And so I don't. It's like there's so much about

20:34

character and personality that

20:36

matters, I think with becoming a

20:38

cop that I don't know what kind

20:40

of thing you could create

20:42

to figure that out of how you get the best

20:45

character and personality to become a cop,

20:47

because it's it's it's it's a humanity job.

20:50

It's dealing with people. It's having empathy

20:52

for people, like you need to have empathy for people,

20:54

you need to want to work for people.

20:57

I think, even to your point about like the character

20:59

that of you know of the kinds

21:01

of officers that need to be out there on

21:03

the street is. I think you start that

21:05

by just having like reinforcing

21:07

the fucking rules, so the

21:09

ones who don't act with humanity

21:12

in mind are quickly just

21:14

booted the funk out, and it's made

21:17

known to people. It's like, yo, you know, this isn't

21:19

the place, like, if you want to funk around

21:21

and do that, go to Florida

21:23

or whatever fucking other you know, police department.

21:26

But I think for police departments, this whole idea of

21:28

like, well, a couple of bad apples or whatever,

21:30

it's like, well, they tossed out all the fucking bad

21:32

apples then, and then

21:34

see what you're left with and then figure out what the

21:36

real problem is. But they're like, there's no even

21:39

sort of the energy for that isn't even there.

21:41

So we get all these sort of like half measures

21:44

that have the like on paper are

21:46

police reforms. But we

21:48

are we are well, and we are way

21:51

past the time for these small things

21:53

like those things should happen sixty years ago

21:55

if you want to like start that little incremental

21:57

process. But now we're looking at the situation

22:00

should and we need, you know, we need to extinguish.

22:05

Yeah, I mean, the more you

22:07

know about history, like that's that seems

22:10

to be something that like

22:12

the like, it's

22:14

not just that black communities

22:16

are abandoned, it's that they're actively

22:19

imprisoned through redlining

22:21

in communities where the

22:25

you know, official government

22:27

policy is to deprive

22:30

them of resources, and then

22:32

they're only interaction

22:35

with the state, Like that ten

22:37

year old who's riding by on his bike is only interaction

22:39

with the state. Is violent racist

22:42

police like it's it's

22:44

not a problem that can be addressed

22:46

through incremental change.

22:49

What's something from your search history

22:51

that's revealing about who you are? I

22:54

recently googled if

22:57

hamsters can chew on Palace

23:00

Anto Santo

23:02

like for them to it's if it's safe for them to none.

23:07

That is the most like silver Lake Google

23:10

thing I've ever heard in my life. I think, if

23:12

you don't know what Paulo Santo is like, it's if you've

23:14

ever if wherever you're in the country, if you have some crunchy

23:17

friends who are like seemingly just lighting a

23:19

shard of wood on fire and being like, the

23:21

vibe in here is so great. Superproducer

23:24

Nick Stump famously kept his

23:26

control room, just just piping

23:28

with the Polo santo smoke, So

23:33

is it safe though? Clear's negative energy? It's

23:35

at stage. Apparently Plessanto is canceled

23:37

though, is what I've heard

23:40

canceled at St. Paulo

23:43

the psay.

23:46

I think like white people

23:48

like myself, who are like, can I answer to

23:50

you on it? Like

23:54

take it back?

23:56

Don't let him have it? Taking it back? What

23:59

is it smell like when it's burning? Like, is it petulish?

24:02

When we look at it smells

24:04

pretty damn good. I think it smells okay

24:08

for it over stage for sure. Yeah.

24:11

Any like place where they're selling

24:13

crystals is like

24:16

like Putuli gave way to sage, which

24:18

gave way to Polo santo right now,

24:21

you know, go to your local crystal shop. If you don't

24:23

know that's it probably smells like polosanto in there. M

24:26

okay, I will do that the second

24:29

that I'm going to make a bee line for that, the second

24:31

this uh lockdown of this lift

24:33

or like musicians especially love and I think

24:35

that's why Nick had it too, because I've

24:37

never been like with vibe musicians

24:39

who if you were playing with them or in a session

24:42

or like a rehearsal where they were just like, let

24:44

me just get the polo go on a little bit, just

24:46

like vive it out. Like that's why it's

24:49

such a silber like thing in my mind, because like

24:51

so many rehearsal spaces just smelled like

24:53

weed, Like, uh, paps

24:56

and you know Paolo Santo, Alison,

25:00

are you enjoying your Polo

25:02

Santo? Are you like lighting a Is

25:04

it just like a stick that you light always?

25:06

Literally it's like do I have it on me?

25:09

No, it's literally just like a stick.

25:12

Yeah, it's the most uninteresting

25:14

thing to see. Come. You

25:17

know, it's very basic. It smells really

25:19

good. Clear's negative negative energy

25:21

if you're into that stuff. But I

25:23

have a pet hamster and he

25:26

needed a new chew toy and I was like,

25:28

I'm you know, post recovery

25:31

surgery mode, and I'm like, well, I have Palo

25:33

Santo, Like could I give him that?

25:37

Yeah, like, give you something to

25:40

entertain yourself with. But I

25:42

ultimately decided not to, even though I couldn't

25:44

find a straight answer on Polo Santo specifically,

25:47

it seemed like it might be too

25:50

risky of the wood for a hamster. Would

25:52

you pivot to? I ended up just waiting

25:55

and I ended up just waiting and asked

25:57

my sister to go to Peto for me and got

26:00

the pencil shaped

26:02

would chew things? Ah?

26:06

Yeah, should have experimented with the

26:08

polosanto it maybe it would have changed the whole

26:10

vibe of the hamster hamster

26:13

toys, just just would Is that kind

26:16

of the

26:20

I could talk about hamsters forever, so don't get

26:23

me started. But it's they

26:25

are very finnicky, fragile creatures,

26:27

and I don't understand why we sell them to

26:29

like five year olds, like that's

26:32

not okay. They actually very

26:34

high maintenance animals. And

26:36

even like the type of wood they choose important

26:39

because some what is poisonous to them. Another

26:41

wood isn't okay, pine

26:45

is bad for them, like stuff like

26:47

that they can choke on some and not

26:49

on others, or like some are like poisons. I

26:51

don't know basically, so yeah, it matters what

26:54

kind of would do they choose. For

26:57

the record, you know, Allison is on her

26:59

to not refers keyboard right now, just

27:02

taking all that typing you hear? Is that transcribing

27:05

everything the minutes of this episode?

27:08

Finally, I want to talk about a story that would

27:11

have I don't know it's

27:13

it seems like it's way

27:15

too important to cover in three minutes, which we're

27:17

going to try and do. But uh,

27:20

the former head of Israel's

27:23

uh what what's his official

27:25

title? He ran and Rance

27:27

program. He was the program.

27:30

Like there's no, he's not some

27:33

guy with a cool Twitter handle

27:35

that you know, bb Net and Yahoo like Fox

27:37

with It's like, you know, he's he's

27:40

I think he was running it from like the eighties to like

27:42

or something like that. And but

27:46

for a context, he's saying, if I had come

27:48

up with what I'm saying today five years

27:51

ago, and we'll get to what he's saying, I would

27:53

have been hospitalized. Wherever I've gone

27:55

with this in academia, they've said

27:57

the man has lost his mind. Today

28:00

are already talking differently. I have

28:02

nothing to lose. I've received my degrees

28:04

and awards. I'm respecting universities

28:07

abroad where the trend is also changing.

28:09

That trend. He says that

28:13

we have made alien contact,

28:15

the US government and Israel in particular,

28:18

that we are in communication and

28:21

in fact, in a legal contract with

28:24

the extraterrestrials. Um

28:26

and I mean, I'm glad of One

28:29

of his quotes I'm

28:31

glad that the Aliens respect contract

28:33

law. That's a good sign. He

28:35

said. Quote there's an agreement between

28:38

the US government and the Aliens. They

28:40

signed a contract with us

28:43

to do experiments here. They

28:45

too are researching and trying

28:47

to understand the whole fabric

28:49

of the universe, and they want

28:51

us as helpers. Um.

28:55

I I just the signed

28:57

a contract is where it goes a little

29:00

too far. I was on board agreement.

29:03

Maybe you know contract

29:05

were they were they redlining? Did they get

29:07

the lawyers involved? Are the are

29:09

the Aliens their own legal counsel? They're

29:11

like, sorry, this this is actually a poison

29:14

pill in this deal. We will not do it if it's

29:16

if it's contained in the contract language.

29:19

I don't um, but they're

29:21

saying one of the first hubs of cooperation

29:23

is a base on Mars, where, by

29:25

the way, astronauts have already

29:27

set foot, American astronauts, and

29:30

the basis underground. That's why you can't see it. I

29:34

love Aliensis. My

29:36

uncle has a ten dollar telescope

29:39

in New Hampshire and he was showing me Jupiter

29:41

up close. I've I've said this before, I'll say

29:43

it again. If I have a family six kids.

29:45

I need to be there for my family, and aliens come

29:47

to me and say, hey, we'll take you with us. You

29:49

can never come back here see anybody again, but you'll

29:51

get to see the galaxy for what it is. I'd

29:53

be like, let's go. I

29:56

would go, okay, I want a prologue

29:58

with that. But I will say, this

30:00

guy lost me when he plugged his book. He's

30:03

coming out, he's got coming out, and

30:05

that's where he lost me, you know, I

30:08

mean it's and even in a way

30:10

though it's like you don't want this guy's book

30:12

though, you know, even like as a thing of

30:15

like if he was talking that real ship, he's like, you

30:17

know, it's so complex, Like to

30:19

say it used the word agreement would completely

30:21

betray the forms of communication these

30:23

life forms used. I would be like, whoa,

30:25

okay, But when you're treating it like a

30:28

fucking like just you know a funny

30:30

comedy film where they was like, hey, let's

30:32

collab on some research, fam like

30:35

okay, and then

30:39

even like his his explanation, it's

30:41

like what where y'all been? Where the aliens

30:43

been? What's going on? He

30:45

mentioned Trump in there too. Yeah, he did

30:47

say that Trump was on the verge

30:50

of revealing all of the path Aliens

30:52

in the Galactic Federation, which I

30:54

think is literally a term from

30:56

Star Trek, but maybe not Aliens

30:59

in the Galactic Federation are saying, wait, let

31:01

everyone calm down first. They they don't

31:03

want to start mass hysteria. They want to first

31:05

make us sane and understanding. So

31:09

here's why, Like, obviously I want

31:11

to believe, and I'm going to always

31:14

err on the side of yeah, this could be possible.

31:17

The thing about the contracts.

31:19

So one of my theories on aliens

31:22

is that they might end up being a

31:24

lot more similar to us than we

31:26

expect them to be because

31:28

of parallel evolution and

31:30

the fact that like when you look in

31:33

Australia at like

31:35

the wildlife that evolved there,

31:37

and it like looks almost identical to

31:40

wildlife that evolved independently

31:43

in the US. It's like there,

31:45

when you have the conditions of

31:47

life in two different, seemingly

31:50

different places, like they do

31:52

end up cohering similarly.

31:55

So I don't know, like maybe maybe

31:58

that is something that eventually always

32:00

comes up, and when when

32:02

there's a civilization that has evolved

32:05

to a certain point, maybe they're like, well, you gotta have

32:07

contracts, man, I mean otherwise

32:10

and then nothing separates us from the single

32:12

cell to organisms. Please, I

32:15

didn't come all this way to not have the legal

32:17

paperwork and to protect my interests

32:19

in disagreement Earthling. But

32:22

I also just like picturing the

32:25

process of getting from

32:27

respected in academic

32:30

circles has this hugely powerful

32:33

uh career, and

32:35

now what makes

32:38

like just selling books just

32:41

being like yeah, like it just seems

32:44

I don't know, I have I have a hard time

32:47

imagining that evolution,

32:50

like unless he was always all

32:52

along, like had some suspicion that

32:54

there was alien contact, like just

32:57

given his mouth shut because it's going to costume his job

32:59

all the time. They're like, dude, you gotta knock that shut off,

33:01

like like we're serious scientists

33:04

and he's just using like the same ship that UFO

33:07

heads in the US used, Like

33:09

I'm just saying roswell though, dog look

33:12

at this viral video, dude,

33:14

what about that beam of light above tel Aviva just

33:17

shot up in the sky? What was that? I

33:19

have it from multiple angles. It's like that was doctored.

33:21

We already talked about this doctor

33:24

alright, it did a great job on it, you know. Yeah,

33:26

no, I mean it looks it looks like I

33:28

wonder if you like, yeah, like at a certain point,

33:30

you know, this is like his like breaking bad like

33:33

kind of thing, was like, fuck it, I got nothing on

33:36

this alien ship and get a book deal

33:39

and get my little check. So I can, you know, just

33:42

buy my retirement cabin and live

33:44

life comfortably because my government pension

33:46

is running out. So I gotta exploit that position

33:48

to say some wild alien ship. I

33:50

don't know that would be a smart move though,

33:53

because instantly right like it's a it's

33:55

this has been a global headline because

33:58

of because of the position he help. So

34:00

it's like just if so if you just have

34:03

that former title to give you any authority,

34:05

keep in mind, anybody in any position with authority,

34:08

you can do this, come out with some outlanders

34:10

ship. That would just be like up end the

34:12

general accepted knowledge of your industry

34:15

and people like what the former head

34:17

of what said? What but this huh?

34:20

And then people will laugh you out, but you'll get your little

34:22

shine. Yeah, so you're

34:24

you're officially on this guy's

34:27

uh lost it or is just trying to sell

34:29

books ship? I

34:31

know, I mean I like the

34:33

energy that I love the energy

34:36

of someone who is gonna like completely

34:38

change the game on us like this and be like,

34:40

no, y'all not listening. They have signed

34:43

fucking contracts, okay.

34:46

And Trump almost sucked it all up. And

34:48

then the aliens were like, nah, found just

34:50

dead that for a second because the people are not

34:53

ready for us to do our grand reveal.

34:55

So if you could just sit on that, we would appreciate

34:57

that. And Donald Trump was like, bet, and you know

34:59

that it's basically who our president is. He respects

35:02

the you know, agency of these as.

35:07

I just love. It's like

35:09

it's also tough don too, because we're we're we're

35:12

like having this conversation in society right now about

35:14

believing the scientists and buying any of these people. Like

35:16

this guy is an academic super respective he ran

35:18

their Space program, So this is somebody who we should

35:21

buy into, right, Like we should

35:23

say, like he's probably I need like

35:25

for something like this. It's like, yo, you need I need you to

35:27

bring another few friends with you. The ratios aren't

35:30

good here for a thing like this. I need

35:32

better ratios. I need like five other people

35:34

who like y'all can actually be like yo, yo, okay,

35:37

we're not going to tell y'all but that one mission

35:39

look into that, and then I would be like, oh

35:42

oh, but nan,

35:45

if the aliens are out there trying to get

35:48

us to be more reasonable, you know,

35:50

I'm just saying, where did this vaccine come from?

35:52

It's all of a sudden, we got a vaccine this accurate

35:56

or effective. Come on, dude, you think

35:58

the aliens didn't give that to us? What

36:00

the fun did you think? I was talking about Operation

36:03

Warp Speed. I was on

36:05

the fucking USS Enterprise, motherfucker secure

36:07

in the vaccine. There's

36:10

no way he was. I was in the

36:13

I was doing deals in fucking

36:15

sebulon three six nine dash z. There's

36:18

no way he'd be able to uh

36:21

not brag about that ship actually

36:26

brokering this deal because

36:28

he's gonna do. We've heard about his negotiating

36:30

tactics. He's gonna be in. There's like, nice to

36:32

meet you alien people. I'm surprisingly calm

36:35

in this negotiation, but I just want to shut up

36:37

and saying fuck you, and he walks out.

36:43

Uh ship, All right, let's take a

36:45

quick break and we'll be right back, and

36:57

we're back. I just want to check in with one

36:59

of my old US is Gordon Ramsey Um

37:02

because he is he

37:04

is taking his talents Um and

37:06

Burger restaurant to a new location

37:08

inside Herod's in London. And

37:12

what's on the menu A hundred and six

37:14

dollar burger. And I'm like,

37:16

yall read the room you

37:21

were not? I mean, look

37:23

the city. From our point of view in the United

37:25

States, it seems like absolutely ridiculous. I know in

37:27

the UK two things aren't that great. And last

37:29

I checked, Herod's is not open. So I don't

37:31

know when you were going to even go into this restaurant

37:33

to eat this burger. But just

37:36

to let you know, how you get to a hundred and six dollars

37:39

A hundred six dollars the extravagant

37:41

patty is a wug you burger apparently

37:44

featuring apparently Okay, interesting,

37:48

Wait

37:53

hold on, this is a scam then it can't it

37:57

burger? This ship needs to be unequivocal.

38:00

This is it's undeniably has

38:02

to be this Dent UK heritage

38:05

beef patty, seared walk you sirloin,

38:07

fresh black truffles and truffle

38:09

Pecorino cheese. I can

38:12

say I don't know

38:14

why they even why even put a press release out.

38:16

It's gonna anger people like you want

38:18

to talk about your luxury burger in the

38:20

time of like the

38:22

global depression. Um,

38:25

but he did read the room on

38:27

the other side because he's entering the

38:29

Seltzer game. Also, uh,

38:32

and it's called wait for it,

38:34

Hell's Seltzer. Isn't

38:37

White Claw, just Hell's Seltzer. Yeah,

38:40

I mean, and the Seltzer Seltzer game is getting

38:42

crowded. I'll tell you that it is getting crowded.

38:45

At this point, you need a good name. You

38:47

know, it is coming down to because they all cost

38:49

about the same, they all basically

38:52

taste like shit. Uh, so

38:54

it's really coming down to a name game for me. What's

38:56

the deal with Hell's Seltzer. Oh?

38:58

Well, the website that apparently,

39:00

like you know, they're doing apparently that

39:03

isn't that that kid wasn't that that meme the kid

39:05

who said apparently all on that and

39:08

apparently, well, you know, come down

39:11

and apparently that just like okay, I just learned

39:13

a new word. Also, Um,

39:15

the website that's like doing the press release

39:17

says that Ramsey's quote discerning

39:19

Palette is behind the Seltzer's

39:21

for unapologetically bold

39:24

flavors. They're

39:26

all inspired by the popular menu

39:29

items from his Hell's Kitchen restaurant.

39:31

I'm like, so what beef Wellington, lobster

39:35

Risoltso I worked on the Hell's

39:37

Kitchen show, so I know what else are we talking about? Is

39:39

that the I mean beef

39:41

Wellington seltzer sounds like it's worth a punt

39:44

uh. And then the ingredients,

39:46

by the way, our seltzer natural flavors

39:49

and hate for hate

39:53

Yeah, and you idiot the

39:55

other his like his cheesy

39:58

ass like you know, puff

40:00

promo talk is amazing to quote,

40:02

this is Gordon Ramsey. Quote. Yes,

40:05

even I enjoy a hard seltzer

40:07

after a long day. So I decided

40:10

to toss the devil horns into the ring

40:12

and heat things up. Hell's Kitchen

40:14

will never freeze over, but a cold

40:17

health Seltzer is a great start.

40:20

And you know those are lying

40:23

through his teeth. Take

40:25

a sip. You think Gordon Ramsey

40:28

had he lied? Did you hear what he said, Jamie?

40:30

He said, yes, even I he's acknowledging

40:32

that it would be strange. This is real, he said,

40:35

even he would after a hard, long,

40:38

long day, He's going to kick back with a heltzer.

40:40

Heltzer skeltzer. I'm

40:43

gonna szer skeltzer.

40:46

That's great. Yeah, beef Linton

40:48

heltzer skeltzer. You're like, I

40:51

think we need to speak

40:53

with them. Are they okay? They're drinking beef

40:55

flavored alcohol? Alcohol?

41:00

Is it? What? Also with the celt you got, you gotta

41:02

it's all all of it is like low though,

41:04

and it hurts you. But somehow my

41:06

thing with selters like you

41:09

drink one, the alcohol

41:11

content is very low. But then yet you're still

41:13

like getting hungover in real time, and you're like,

41:15

how is this possible? I'm not and yet

41:18

and I'm already hungover. What's your favorite flav?

41:21

I do like a mango white clow. I

41:24

like the main white cleasy too.

41:27

I'll play around with a little black cherry from

41:30

time to time. Yeah, sometimes

41:32

I add vodrell.

41:36

Is that a weird move? That's

41:41

what I tell her, Majesty. I said, Yo, give me that

41:43

mango cleasy, but boost it, boost

41:45

it, boost it a

41:48

little bit. What do you think, Hey, her majesty,

41:50

let me get a man cleasy, but don't

41:53

trim the claws. Actually put some

41:56

put some cloth, st sharpen

41:58

that claw. Her magic. One

42:00

time for your boy so

42:02

he can so he can fall over picking

42:05

up dogship in the yard. Uh.

42:08

That's just an insight into my Sunday mornings.

42:11

Um, and just one

42:13

last treat I want to go out on. Actually

42:16

is just Jamie and I. We were talking about

42:18

what it was like to work at Playboy back in the day.

42:20

And I don't know if this was on we

42:23

did this, but we we worked at Playboy. We actually

42:25

worked at the same time and weren't even friends.

42:27

It's a shame. Although I didn't I knew

42:29

of you because everyone was saying she's a comedian

42:32

and I was like, what, there's someone funny here. Get away

42:34

from that. Surely to me,

42:36

Yeah, we should have been friends the Playboy. No one talked

42:39

to me. Well, you were in a weird part of the office.

42:41

It was a weird time. The country was

42:43

start of the company was having a bit

42:45

of trouble figuring out the non

42:48

nude age. Yeah.

42:50

Uh. And house

42:52

er. We got to go to the mansion

42:55

for like staff party. One you got to go. I didn't

42:57

get didn't. I got terribly

42:59

drunk and walked into a glass wall. My

43:01

sister snuck into Hugh

43:04

Hefner's house on Valentine's

43:06

Day. Yeah, and met his son and they

43:08

were just hanging out.

43:14

Yeah, if it wasn't Conny, Yeah,

43:20

he's on it. He was the guy that stole

43:22

my cake when he was on a segway. It

43:24

was like the day that I got laid off and my

43:26

boss was like, here's a cake because I got

43:28

laid off on my birthday and they got me a birthday

43:30

slash goodbye cake. That was really depressing.

43:33

And then Hugh Hefner's son rolled

43:35

in on a segway obviously,

43:37

like I had no idea who he was, and he was just like,

43:39

Hey, what's a whose birthday is it? Can

43:41

I have a piece of cake? And he just rolled

43:44

the way and then he felt So it's good

43:46

taken off with your cake and your health insurance. But

43:49

yeah, So the reason I

43:51

bring it up is because every like six

43:54

three to six months, the online

43:56

store, the Playboy magazine online store would

43:59

just have a you for all of ship nobody

44:01

wanted, and the staff could go and like pick from

44:03

the bones of like the online store

44:05

and get like a T shirt or beer Cozy's

44:08

or high healed sneakers in Jamie's

44:10

case, that she so lovingly took

44:12

um, but I just want to just I

44:14

just point this out because the State Department

44:17

had a holiday party on

44:19

Tuesday or super spreader event, whatever

44:21

the funk you want to call it, but I just want

44:23

to point out what the gift bags were at

44:26

this State Department holiday party.

44:28

Quote This is from the Washington Post reporting of

44:30

the State Department party. Amid the point

44:32

said is chandeliers and meticulously

44:35

decorated Christmas trees. Children on Tuesday

44:37

night received be Best branded

44:40

swag, such as backpacks, Frisbees,

44:43

and water bottles from First Lady Milania

44:45

Trump's signature anti bullying and Wellness

44:47

initiative. The State Department has a stockpile

44:50

of the best merchandise that is often

44:53

handed out when the First Lady travels abroad.

44:55

In the absence of a second Trump term, officials

44:58

need to find a home for the plus

45:00

gear, one official said. The officials

45:02

said, quote, it's time to get rid

45:04

of the leftovers. That

45:07

sounds like a playboy giveaway.

45:09

He was like, well, this is the worst, this is a

45:12

bad idea. Come again, and

45:14

we got it here. My friend

45:16

what a treat. My friend was like

45:19

asking me if I had any tattoos, and I was

45:21

like, I changed my mind so often. I

45:23

was like, I'd be one of those people that would get a Playboy

45:25

like tattoo and regret it. And when

45:27

I said that her boyfriend pilled up his sleep

45:30

and he had a bit playboy tattoo, and

45:32

I was like, I'm sure yours is great.

45:35

I mean, it's the most recognized logo in

45:37

the on Earth. It's the most recognized logo

45:39

on Earth. So I love reveal

45:42

when someone has an embarrassing tattoo that is

45:44

also very large. There's almost nothing funnier

45:46

in the world. I like, ran into my high school

45:48

boyfriend. This sounds fake, but it was real. I ran into

45:51

one of my my first high school

45:53

boyfriend, um a couple

45:55

of years after he had dumped me for the

45:57

saxophone. And

46:00

it sounds like Whiplash that movie, except

46:03

sounds like that movie This Christmas. He

46:05

left you for his music career, he did. He

46:07

did leave me for with

46:10

Quentins. He left me for for jazz

46:12

um. But then I saw him a couple of years

46:14

later and he had a

46:16

huge tattoo of foghorn

46:19

leghorn on his bicep, and he was

46:21

like, my uncle got it too.

46:23

It was a little thing me and my uncle did. He had a huge

46:27

said, I said,

46:29

what the funk? You got a fog horn leghorn

46:32

tattoo? Yes, I swear to god,

46:34

he had a huge fog horn leghorn tattoo.

46:36

And then it was like it was it was great for

46:38

me because I was like, well this this break up validation

46:41

valid Yeah, but a huge

46:44

like just so much out of nostalgia,

46:47

but you for your mouth on this person. And then now

46:49

they have a foghorn leghorn tattoo. I don't know. I

46:52

just googled fog horn leghorn. Now I get the

46:54

joke. Yeah.

46:58

Anyways, well can Joe all

47:02

right, that's gonna do it for this

47:04

week's weekly Zeite. Guys, please

47:06

like and review the show. If you

47:09

like the show, uh means

47:11

the world to Miles. He needs

47:13

your validation, folks. I

47:16

hope you're having a great weekend and

47:18

I will talk to him Monday. By ut

48:06

and the Factor and Productor

48:08

and Batt