0:07

Well , I don't need to fall

0:09

at your feet just because

0:12

you cut me to the bone , and

0:14

I won't miss the way that

0:16

you kiss me . We were

0:18

never carved in stone and I'm just going to

0:20

shift from a song to a William Shatner speak-along

0:23

thing , like that pulp song he did . If

0:25

I don't listen to the talk of the town , then maybe

0:27

, just maybe , I can fool

0:30

myself . I'll get over you

0:32

. I know I will . I'll get over you , I know I will . I'll pretend

0:34

my ship's not sinking and

0:37

I'll tell myself I'm over you Because

0:39

I'm the king of wishful thinking

0:41

. That Peter Gabriel song

0:43

is so good . Just kidding , it's Go West . Who

0:45

the fuck is Go West ? Is that like a one-hit

0:48

wonder or something ? Is Peter

0:50

Gabriel in Go West ? We may never

0:52

know , because I'm not going to look that up . Sorry

0:54

, pal , and by sorry pal I

0:56

mean my devoted listeners across

0:59

the globe . Germany , number one international

1:01

market , always has been , hopefully

1:03

always will be . What's up ? German , germany

1:05

, germans ? Was

1:08

that germane to the discussion ? What are we doing ? Okay

1:10

, thank you for listening to my podcast . My name name is Danny

1:12

Palmer . I

1:15

do stand-up comedy in New York City . I've had this podcast for like

1:17

four years . This is like the 360th

1:19

episode or some shit . Has the podcast

1:21

taken off and provided a primary

1:23

source of income for me over time ? It is not . Will

1:26

it ever Feels unlikely

1:28

? Will

1:30

I stop doing the podcast ? Apparently not feels unlikely . Will

1:32

I stop doing the podcast ? Apparently not , I mean , at this point . I've been doing it for so long

1:34

. It's like I'm not gonna stop doing it , you know . And also

1:37

it's kind of like therapy . It's a little

1:39

bit of a like , kind of a self-therapy to say

1:41

your ideas out loud in

1:43

a format where you're speaking to

1:46

maybe not a big audience , but a true

1:48

, truly global audience and

1:50

a lot of different cities around the country . So

1:53

you have to think about what you're saying

1:55

. Is this bad

1:57

, not nice or cruel

1:59

? You don't want to say anything that's going to come

2:02

back to haunt you later . She doesn't really

2:04

put thought into the words that you're expressing

2:07

in the pod , and

2:09

I think that's a healthy and productive exercise and I also like to use

2:11

it as a tool for , like , self-evaluation and growth

2:14

and learning . And , okay , how can I get

2:16

better at X , y or Z ? You know , that's , that's

2:18

. That's nice , that's a nice thing . Okay

2:20

, I just got back from

2:22

, uh , by the way , my Instagram handle if

2:24

you want to follow me . It's at Danny Palmer , nyc

2:27

. Um

2:34

, I also operate the at black hat comedy instagram page . I run a dope show every friday night , black

2:36

cat les . It's a cool coffee shop on manhattan's lower east side . We turn it into like

2:38

a comedy club basically , and

2:41

uh , people are smoking weed and

2:43

drinking dude , so it's like sick . You can have

2:45

fun and then it's like it's like a young crowd . My

2:48

friend , amy cardinale she's a funny comic she said

2:50

that she loves doing black hat to

2:52

watch , um , horrified

2:54

nyu students stare at her for 10 minutes

2:56

, which I thought was pretty

2:59

fucking funny dude . Um , okay

3:01

, there we go . I've completed

3:03

my little promo thing , you know . Um

3:06

, yeah , I just I just got back

3:08

from uh , washington dc

3:11

. Julio gall , my good friend he's very kind

3:13

, often lets me open

3:15

for him on the road . We went down there . Okay

3:18

, listen to this shit , dude , I go down there on . I'm

3:20

supposed to go down on a Wednesday night , right , so I can work from

3:22

my hotel in DC . There was one

3:25

show on Thursday , two shows on Friday , two shows

3:27

on Saturday . So Wednesday night

3:29

I I get . Oh , my god , am I doing the thing that

3:31

I don't like I used to listen to , uh

3:33

, tuesdays

3:37

with stories a lot with joe list and mark norman . I'm friends with both of them

3:39

. It's a great podcast . I listened to probably hundreds of episodes . But you know they're

3:42

professional full-time traveling comics

3:44

and so I felt like oftentimes their stories would involve

3:46

travel . And then I'm like , well , if I do a pod

3:48

, I should probably try to steer clear of that a little bit . And now what am

3:50

I doing ? I'm telling a travel comedy story . So

3:52

who the fuck am I ? You know , danny

3:55

, you fucking hypocrite piece of shit

3:57

, fucking loser . I

4:00

think it's just fun to say fucking loser , dude

4:02

. Anyways , I go to LaGuardia

4:05

just sitting at the gate waiting . You know there

4:07

were storms , oh yeah . When I storms , oh yeah , when I arrived at la guardia

4:09

it was , it was literally raining sideways

4:11

. That's probably not a great sign for your flight

4:14

getting off the ground . Or if it does get off the ground

4:16

, it's gonna be bumpy as fuck . You know your fucking

4:18

door will fall off of the of

4:20

the , your the panel will fall off just from the wind

4:22

anyway , uh yeah

4:24

. So I , I did , I literally , I literally

4:27

walked around la guardia for four

4:29

hours . It's was my flight . I kept

4:32

getting delayed , kept getting delayed . I ate dinner by

4:34

myself . I had my headphones

4:36

in , I was listening to like sick tunes

4:38

, maybe smoking a little John Bud

4:40

, little Bud , you know . And

4:43

then my flight got canceled and then

4:46

there were no more flights out that next , that

4:48

night , the next day , there weren't flights

4:50

out until like late afternoon , which would have made me miss

4:52

the Thursday night show

4:54

in DC . So then I just like went

4:57

home , went to bed , got

4:59

up at like five thirty in the morning , took

5:01

a train down to DC and

5:04

I made it in time and it all worked out fine

5:06

and it was super fun . But

5:21

I was thinking , if you just had a camera observing my behavior from 5 pm to 10 pm last

5:23

Wednesday night and didn't understand the context of what had happened , you'd probably

5:25

think I was completely insane . Dude , this guy packed bags , went to LaGuardia , listened to music

5:27

, walked around for four hours , ate

5:30

dinner by himself , and then just went

5:32

, just went home . Dude

5:35

, why don't you just stay home ? Why

5:38

are you going to the airport like a

5:40

fucking psycho , dude ? It's

5:42

bizarre , but you paid for a ticket and didn't

5:44

go anywhere and then just went back

5:46

home in a cab . My cab driver was like oh

5:49

, that's hey where you get in from man . I'm like , uh

5:51

, here I

5:53

was not able to take off , literally

5:56

. Okay , there we go . It's one story

5:58

in the books . And then we

6:00

did it , the uh dc comedy

6:02

, loft , me and hannah dickinson she's

6:05

funny as fuck . By the way , I didn't . I know her instagram

6:07

handle by heart . You should follow her . It's eight at

6:09

hands dickie , h-a-n-s and then d-i-c-k-i-e

6:12

. She's so cool , she says she's so

6:14

funny . You know , you're like , oh , my friend's a g , like

6:16

a cool guy , like handles like a g dude , she's

6:18

fucking , cool as fuck and she's funny as fuck

6:20

. And then we did two shows friday

6:22

. We did two shows saturday . It was crazy , man , and

6:25

I feel like usually with stand-up comedy , the

6:27

saturday shows , typically

6:30

the audience is kind of looser

6:32

, more relaxed . You know , friday most people

6:34

work all day and then if they have to

6:37

turn around and make it to a show

6:39

, you know it's kind of a lot of effort to

6:41

put out on a workday , but

6:43

then on Saturday you can sleep in , take a shower

6:45

, so like . But it was the opposite

6:48

. Like the crowds on Saturday there were great crowds

6:50

all five shows , but they were

6:52

definitely a little bit more difficult to win over than

6:54

the crowds on friday , which I thought was interesting . But anyways

6:57

, more importantly , julio fucking

6:59

murdered all five shows headlining

7:01

for an hour . Hannah killed it . Hannah's so

7:03

funny dude . It was great , it was fucking awesome . Then

7:05

we flew to atlanta on

7:07

uh , sunday and that was the first

7:09

place I ever performed stand-up comedy . I don't know why I'm using

7:12

this platform as a diary right now , but

7:14

I don't know . I feel like if you're interested in

7:16

stand-up comedy , this could be kind of interesting

7:18

. You know , and we did the Atlanta

7:20

Punchline . I had friends from College Comm , they were so

7:22

nice and stuff , and then we'd yeah , so

7:24

that was the whole thing that happened , and yeah

7:27

, so I guess that

7:29

story's pretty much over now . Danny , k-bud

7:32

, k-bud I like to

7:34

say K-bud like in a condescending

7:36

manner towards people . I think it's fun to be like intentionally

7:39

condescending . Okay , wow

7:41

, this

7:44

has been only seven and a half minutes , so I really need to . I mean , I didn't

7:46

have a lot of time

7:48

this week to like capture pod

7:51

things because I was like fucking working

7:53

, working , go to dc

7:55

, work all day . It's you know

7:57

I , that's you know . What am I complaining about ? I'm

8:00

very like , fortunate and blessed

8:02

to be able to have a job where I can work in

8:04

a hotel . Oh yeah , dude , I worked in the hotel

8:06

in atlanta on

8:08

monday , which is two days earlier

8:10

than the release of this podcast , and

8:12

then the peak in atlanta it was like 87 coverage

8:15

or something like that . The peak was at like

8:17

uh , 3 pm and I

8:19

had a call at three . So I

8:21

just went outside , I just wore these

8:23

. You ever like just go from your room

8:25

in a hotel downstairs to get breakfast

8:27

or something ? And then you're like I don't give a fuck

8:30

what I look like . I don't give a green , god

8:32

damn , look like I don't give a green , god damn . Dude

8:34

. That's what I did . I just walked outside

8:36

looking like a fucking maniac , looking

8:39

for people with the eclipse glasses . The ladies

8:41

at the front desk didn't have any . I

8:43

was kind of disappointed by that . Like , come on , dude , shouldn't

8:45

, like national chains have

8:48

eclipse glasses provided

8:50

at each of their multiple

8:52

hundred locations ? I feel like that's reasonable

8:55

. I might lodge a complaint . Anyways

8:58

, I found this lady outside . She let me borrow her glasses

9:00

. I go hey , miss , I'm so sorry , can

9:03

I borrow your glasses ? She goes , oh sure . And

9:05

then , as I was walking towards her , I go , don't worry

9:07

, I don't have lice . And she goes what ? And

9:15

I was like I don't , I don't have lice . She's like why are we making

9:17

a lice comment ? Dana , you don't have hair . I don't need to hear this like lice idea

9:19

. You know what I mean . Um

9:21

, anyways , can I just say one thing about dc ? Like , I

9:23

really like dc . It's cool

9:26

, it's beautiful at night

9:28

. You know the potomac , the

9:30

roads are usually pretty like smooth . I

9:33

don't know why I brought that fact up , but

9:35

it has so many fucking traffic circles , dude , like

9:38

what the fuck ? And then the like

9:40

the dispensaries are unusual . Like

9:42

there's some that just you

9:44

can only get medical marijuana

9:47

and you have to sign up for a card , and then others you

9:49

don't have to sign up for a card , you don't have to do anything

9:51

except have a license . And then you can get mushrooms

9:54

and weed and those like why do you have ones that

9:56

you need ? I don't know , I don't know . But

9:58

also I think it's kind of interesting that , like weed

10:01

and shrooms are completely legal in the nation's

10:03

capital , even though both are

10:05

against federal policy

10:07

. It's like what don't

10:10

you think that the feds would just be ? like hey , not

10:13

here , not here anywhere , but here go

10:16

to like fucking bethesda or like chevy chase

10:18

, but not here . You pieces of shit . But

10:20

now do you see it's all fucking . Yeah

10:22

, all right . Well , that's the end of that story

10:25

. So what else do I got ? Oh , yeah

10:27

, dude . Let me just do a quick pitch for sia . Oh

10:29

, my god , her new song with labyrinth . She

10:31

and labyrinth and um diplo

10:34

used to have a group lsd this

10:36

song incredible . It's her new single that came

10:38

out last week . It's so , it is an

10:40

incredible , incredible

10:43

dude . Sia is the is a fucking

10:45

. She's a g . Sia and hannah dickinson are g's

10:47

. Dude like that . Sia does not miss with

10:49

her fucking songs . It's super sick . Okay , I'll do a few more things . And Hannah Dickinson are Gs dude . Sia does not miss with her fucking songs . It's super sick . Okay

10:52

, I'll do a few more things and we'll call it a fucking John

10:54

dude . I thought this

10:56

was interesting . I was reading this article about the Disney

10:59

board . Like Bob Iger returned

11:01

as the CEO and set out this vision

11:03

for the company and now these activist

11:05

investors wanted to , I

11:07

think , boot him or just control the board . It's basically

11:09

like a live succession , but except

11:12

it's more current and real . And then

11:14

I was reading some of this article and I thought this was interesting about

11:16

the disney . Disney as a company . An

11:19

unusually large amount of disney shares up

11:21

to 40 are held by individuals

11:23

, many of them fans of the company's movies

11:25

and theme parks . On average , among

11:27

public companies , individuals own

11:29

closer to 15 of the shares . So

11:32

it's like fucking more than double dude and

11:35

uh , that's kind of cool . You know like people love

11:37

it so much that they just want to own it .

11:38

That's kind of neat like don't ?

11:40

yeah , like the people of green bay

11:42

own the packers . That's kind of neato , you know . By

11:45

the way , I've got this new joke . I'm trying to like make fun of bama

11:47

fans and I don't have it all worked out yet

11:49

, but it's fun to say , like when

11:51

alabama made it to the final four . I feel like the majority

11:54

of their fans are just huge football fans and know nothing

11:56

about basketball .

11:57

So this is my impression of them , just like well

12:00

, apparently our

12:02

alabama made it to the final four

12:04

in basketball and I just , I

12:07

just don't understand it . Why

12:09

would you only have five players

12:11

in football ? We got 11 . That's

12:13

more than double . You

12:15

can add six more . Why would you just have

12:18

five In ?

12:19

football . You got a quarterback , you got a wide receiver

12:21

. They love to stretch out their vowels in the South , but

12:25

any vowel gets stretched out .

12:27

You got a quarterback , you got a wide

12:30

receiver , you got a safety A

12:32

safety .

12:33

Safety is fun to say .

12:35

Why would you only have five ? You can't even run no

12:37

plays with five . You

12:39

can't spread out the defense on

12:41

the court . You need to have 11 .

12:43

Why doesn't basketball just basketball should add

12:46

six players , dude wouldn't that be funny

12:48

If basketball was 11

12:50

on 11 , like

12:52

the court , it's just too crowded . The

12:55

fans just started to kind of disperse

12:57

out the back of the arena , like I did

12:59

. It's just nobody

13:01

can get anywhere . It's too many people . It's

13:04

just like watching a crowd at a concert

13:06

rather than a sporting competition

13:08

. That's fun . That's fun for me what I just

13:10

said , okay . Okay

13:13

, last thing I feel like I

13:15

don't like how . I

13:18

feel like most stand-up audiences are

13:20

. Just , they're normal people , right . So if they

13:22

have enough money to buy a ticket to a comedy show and

13:24

they took a shower and they got dressed and they're with their like

13:26

friends or their loved one

13:28

, or even if they're by themselves , I feel like they've

13:30

got the ability to understand

13:33

social settings , right . Like , if you go to a restaurant

13:35

, you go up to the host stand hey

13:40

, can I be seated , please , please . There's a party of three . You know you don't knock anything

13:42

over , you don't yell , you take a shower before you go to a restaurant , like people . People

13:45

know not , maybe not everybody in society

13:47

, but most people in polite society know

13:49

how to behave . They've been to

13:51

, you know , maybe , a concert

13:54

well , I guess a concert you can talk , but they've been to like

13:56

a broadway show , they've been to plays

13:58

maybe they went to see the nutcracker

14:01

when they were in elementary school they've

14:03

been out in public , and I'm not saying that all

14:05

comedy club audiences are perfectly

14:08

behaved , but nobody is perfectly behaved anywhere

14:10

. I just don't see why these oftentimes

14:13

a club or an independent producer will

14:15

give a long list of rules to

14:18

the audience before the show

14:20

starts and then they go . Okay , and now are you guys

14:22

ready for some comedy ? And I'm just looking at them and they're probably thinking

14:24

not really , now

14:26

that I've been scolded before I even

14:29

had a chance to exhibit any form of behavior

14:31

. I mean , I understand it from the club's perspective

14:33

or individual producers perspective

14:35

or whoever is enforcing these rules or stating

14:37

these rules . They've had problems in the past

14:40

. People have been unruly . They don't want

14:42

that to happen again . So they want to spell it out clearly

14:44

. I guess maybe , if I'm really thinking to this point

14:46

a little better , it would just be like , like

14:48

, just maybe a little bit more of a narrow

14:51

point to it , you know , like okay we

14:53

know everybody's been out the shows before in public

14:55

, but please keep it down , if you can . Just

14:57

a little bit more like deferential . You know , I don't

14:59

like when people disrespect the audience , like

15:02

I was at a show recently . In the comic , one

15:04

of the comics just kind of like , said that the audience sucked

15:07

and it's like these are the only 35

15:09

people on the face of the planet earth that have

15:11

any interest in hearing what you have to say about

15:13

anything . So why are you attacking ? Attacking

15:15

them , dude , respect the audience , dude . Okay

15:18

, that's my final point . Oh , maybe I can make a good vibes

15:20

video about respect the audience , dude . Okay

15:22

, anyway , no one cares , maybe they do , maybe they do

15:24

. Thank you for listening . Um , again , you can follow me at Danny

15:26

Palmer , nyc . This pod drops

15:28

and , yeah

15:31

, come out

15:33

to the show man , it's fun and

15:35

you guys are neat . Thanks for listening . I appreciate

15:37

it , and I usually end this

15:39

podcast by saying a

15:41

pretty vulgar sex-oriented word , so I'm

15:43

certainly going to keep that tradition alive , thank

15:47

you .